Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer

[BG-57]

'Cause he's pretty fly for a white guy.

What kind of precious metal are gold chocobos made from?

[jammi567]

iron.

Are Aeries and Tifa prostotutes?

[squiike]

no, they cant interact with non NPC's

what is the ingrediences in Cid's "god-dammed-tea"?

[Hyperion4444]

flys

What's up with people an one wings.

[jammi567]

They're demented, and so seriously be mocked and laughed at.

what's up with all the unessary prequal and sequals (cept for AC)?

[Rikushomegirl7]

Because of the continous baby tantrums thrown by Cloud to make more. He CRAVES more attention :choc2:

Don't any of the party members ever have to use the restroom? If so, why do they feel the need to hold it in for an entire adventure? You'd think after seeing Aeris die like that, Cloud would at least piss himself a little.......

[6294]

No, they don't need to use the restroom, they have magical powers which make liquids (including blood) in their bodies disappear. This also explains why they don't bleed when they get bitten/sliced/shot ect.


How do you get Cloud killed instead of Aeris in the forgotten city?

[Hyperion4444]

It's because Cloud had to go to the bathroom. That's why they were late to save Aeris.
Make Cloud not go to the bathroom, he'll save Aeris and Challenge Sephiroth alone.
Then purposely loose the battle, you'll get a Game Over, but that's how.
And yes, they do loose blood, but they remove that so that it could have a Teen Rating.



Why didn't Cloud Finish off Hojo when he had the chance? (On the beach)
Look at all he's done afterwards!

[leader of mortals]

Because he was too busy keeping his boner down from the hot girls on the beach... and he had to go to the bathroom.

Is Zach the dude in the tube?

[Hyperion4444]

No, it was Vincent Valentine's clone that was a failed experiment.

Why did Don picked Blond Cloud as a mate? (Yes, it's possible to acheive it in the game)

[Aerisfanatic]

No, it was Vincent Valentine's clone that was a failed experiment.

Why did Don picked Blond Cloud as a mate? (Yes, it's possible to acheive it in the game)Stupid answer: because he like many other characters in the came cannot resist clouds blonde spiky hair that gives off some faramone.

Correct answer: if you manage to get everything that would make cloud look like a girl wig, dress makeup, then don will completely be attracted to him. if you get to of the items don will choose tifa, if you only get one item (most likely the dress) he will choose aeris.

Whats clouds middle name?

[NOFX1117]

Cloud's middle name is Zach, which is why Cloud somehow thought he used to be Zach in his memories.

Why does nobody bang Yuffie?

[Relapse]

because shes not worth banging. barret is.

why isn't aerisxtifa implemented in the game?

[Kanshisha]

Because it is such a confusing name

Why does cloud's name have to involve nature?

[Edge7]

Because his mom was a enviormentalist. (Forgive me if I spelled the word wrong.)
How do you get to 7th Heaven?

[Aerith's Knight]

take a right by 8th, but if you see 6th youve gone too far

why dont they make a remake?

[Kanshisha]

Because the editors are too busy eating krispy kremes

why does Barret try to look like mr.t?

[Relapse]

cuz he can't look like mr. S. or mr. U neither.

whats up with midgar zolom?

[demondude]

His eyes.

Why did I laugh when Aeris died?

[Relapse]

cos there wasnt any blood and aeris wanted to be killed by cloud, not sephiroth. anyway, you're a downright insane and deranged dumbass. (no offence ;)).

why is tifa so inhumanely... human?

[demondude]

She's human but with those babies it sure doesn't seem like it.

Why does tifa have large "babies".

[Aerith's Knight]

because small babies cant drink from those huge breasts.

why does clouds ultimate weapon look gay?

[leader of mortals]

Because it is sapping out cloud's gayness to make him more of a man for tifa(and you need a big man for those big breasts)

Why is cait sith left out for all of the game after the temple of ancients

[Comet]

'CAUSE HE DIED BAYBAY

Hold on, what's up with that crying stone tiger thing near Cosmo Canyon?

[Judge Master Gabranth]

mommy whats that worm looking thing in my pants that you said not to whip out in public the thing under my boxers

sorry for the comment I had to do it:D

[Comet]

Banhammer plz

[Relapse]

I'll answer Comet's one.

it cried cuz it realised that his son was red and following a bunch of weird people, including a guy with insane hair, an ancient who would die and a mr. t wannabe.

why does gravity lower the enemies health by a fraction?

[Kanshisha]

why wouldn't it?

why does yuffie looks like a member of "The Beatles"?

[Relapse]

cuz shes afraid of bugs.

how can vincent turn into his limit break beasts?

[Kanshisha]

Testosterone

How many heavens were there before 7th heaven?!

[Relapse]

3.14

why must aeris die?

[Kanshisha]

because she tried to use a cheat code

Why did sephiroth have to have an exaggerated long sword?

[deejay]

Coz he wished that his penis is that long..but it isn't!
So he just had so make his sword long to resemble the length of penis he wish to have.
Maybe his penis will grow longer by admiring he long sword~

Why does Cloud have a heavy and big-ass sword??

[Kanshisha]

Coz he wished that him penis is that long..but it isn't!

lol

So he just had so make his sword long to resemble the length of penis he wish to have.

Maybe his penis will grow longer by admiring he sword~


Why were there holes in clouds beginning sword?

[deejay]

Uhh..you copy and pasted my answer??

2 holes..one for Zack and the other one for Cloud. They used the holes to masturbate~!

Why does Cloud love to battle with Seph?

[Leeza]

Anymore uncouth comments or sexual content posts in this thread and it will be closed.

[Kanshisha]

Because it was the editor's choice

What gel does cloud use?

[deejay]

Anymore uncouth comments or sexual content posts in this thread and it will be closed.

Oh crap..ok then sorry


Because it was the editor's choice

What gel does cloud use?
His saliva~

Why Cloud isn't cloud?

[Kai McCloud]

Because hes bob the floating widget. plus he's under witness protection.
why did red XIII think his dad was a "wastrel"?

[Relapse]

Cause he has his genes and likes to show off.

Why is Sephiroth so awesome?

[deejay]

Cause he has his genes and likes to show off.

Why is Sephiroth so awesome?
Coz he's the one getting older day by day (his long grey hair)

Why Sephiroth always wears black suit?

[scrumpleberry]

His mummy made it for him, he just wants to make her happy.

What is with the evil attacking house?

[Kanshisha]

bob the builder's fault

In the beginning how did Neiblehem get caught on fire when there was a well?

[Serapy]

Because there were no water in that well.

Who unlocked the Cloud's imprisonment room in the Shinra HQ?

[Northcrest]

I did I found the Master Key.

Why does Tifa like Cloud?

[Serapy]

Cuz he's blonde.

Why does Tifa have bigger boobs than Aeris?

[ReloadPsi]

She doesn't. Tifa is in fact no bigger than the average dog. It's all done by mirrors.

Why does everyone automatically connect the idea of Wall Market to Wall Street while overlooking Wal-Mart, which it much more closely resembles anyway?

[Relapse]

because wal-mart has one less L. duh.

what is the guy at the wall market inn thing implying when he says "come on, have a rest. we have very nice beds." or something of the sort.

[MushroomZOMBIE]

He's implying that he wants to rape you.

How does Cloud acheive gravity-defying hair?

[scrumpleberry]

Old news, sweetheart. He takes inspiration from the hairgel scene in There's Something about Mary

Where do they carry all their equipment?

[Kanshisha]

in a caravan park

why is it that when you defeat an enemy they turn red?

[Relapse]

Cause when they die, their embarrassed so they blush.

Where do enemies come from?

[leader of mortals]

see when one mommy enemy and one daddy enemy love eachother very much.... blah blah blah.... so if you have sex your baby will turn into an evil grasshopper and kill you.

how many years in jail would you get for all the people you kill

[Kanshisha]

It all depends if you remember their names.

Why in the game, that the characters do not need to go to the toilet?

[Aerith's Knight]

Adult dipers from ShinRa inc.

why cant tifa affort her leather gear yet?

[KentaRawr!]

Because she didn't invest in something greater.

Why does Aeris have bigger boobs than Tifa?

[Relapse]

It would have disrupted the time and space continuum.

Why are Tifa and Cloud such a lousy 'couple'?

[Kanshisha]

Because cloud like 'em big ^^!

who would Yuffie date and why?

[redxiiii]

Because cloud like 'em big ^^!

who would Yuffie date and why?
Palmer, because lard is the ultimate afrodisiac duh!
Why isn't materia in the shape of a cube?;)

[NeoCracker]

Because when cloud tried to put it in the slot, he got pissy and stabbed a man.

Why doens't anyone go out to clean up Red XIII's dad? I mean do you realize how much bird dung is bound to have built up on him by now?

[KoShiatar]

Because mako-crazy birds would come and attack them. Besides, mako-crazy bird poo is fluorescent at night, so they like to leave it there because it's decorative.

What did Palmer eat to become so fat?

[Relapse]

People.

Why does he eat them?

[Carl the Llama]

because they are tasty

Why dont the Don and Palmer get together?

[Kanshisha]

because palmer eats people

Why doesn't don eat people?

[leader of mortals]

he's too busy eating his dead ape aps

does he eat Rapps too

[redxiiii]

No he just takes a nibble and then uses Rapps for fiendish S&M acts...
Why does President Shinra not simply remove Sephys sword from his back and carve some cheese?:tongue:

[Tallulah]

Because he's lactose intolerant. :p

Speaking of cheese, is the Cheese Weapon really real?

[Aerith's Knight]

What do you think created the moon?

Why are clouds spikes different in the game then in Crisis core

[Garnie]

it prevents anyone getting into his personal space!

Why Did Cloud choice blue for his dress? I thought he was more of a Cherry Red kinda guy?

[Carl the Llama]

cause Aerith chse it and couldnt stand up to the fact that cloud would look better then her in her favorite colour.

Why didnt Cheese Weapon defend the planet when meteor was coming!

[Relapse]

It overslept.

Shouldn't it be more early to wake up (or stuff)?

[thegirth]

yes, but its yellow color does not reflect sun the same way that the "gem" weapons does

are you all suprised i created this successful of a topic, yet i hardly post here anymore

[Relapse]

no, cuz you didn't make it. sephiroth hacked your computer and did.

OMG Sephiroth can hack?!

[redxiiii]

Yes and whats more amazing is he has no fingers and hacks you using a SNES!!!

Why dosen't Midgar run on potatoe fuelled jelousy?

[Relapse]

Sigh... That's Junon. Midgar runs on chocolate -.-

How does Cloud achieve that insane hairstyle?

[thegirth]

Cheese Weapon helps him

This guy ARe sick??

[Relapse]

No, these guy is sick.

Damn, why the english?

[Tallulah]

Because the FF7 translation are the best. :p

How come Aeris didn't pick up when she said 'are sick' instead of the correct 'is' sick?

[thegirth]

because you are garnet, strong willed and naive

why are you garnet ???

[Carl the Llama]

because its cheese weapons day off

What do cloud and cheese weapon get up to on their shared days off?

[Sephitachi7]

Learn how to do Blitz technique with Barret.

How come Mukki doesn't have jeans?

[thegirth]

because cheese weapon stole them to use as a toothpick

where is my chicken sandwich and waffle friese

[Relapse]

I ate them.

How could I?!

[thegirth]

what you say

can cloud and co. play guitar hero

[Cledarius]

Yeah sure, but the problem is, Barret is to selfish to share the PS2 with the others.

Who would win, if they could steal Barret's PS2 and play Guitar Hero?

[Sephitachi7]

Moogles.

How come there weren't any moogles in ff7?

[Randgris]

Moogles.

How come there weren't any moogles in ff7?

Cait Sith has a huge stuffed mog he rides around with.

[Mercen-X]

The moogles are inside it.

What the hell is that damned Demon Wall?

[PeneloRatsbane]

a demon and a wall had a forbidden love and the demon wall is the spawn of that love.

Will vincent ever realize that he could look realllllly hot if he ditched the stupid cape?

[Carl the Llama]

He already realized this: he looked so hot that the women all swarmed him so he went back to wearing it

do they have days of the week in FFVII?

[Cleric]

Moogles.

How come there weren't any moogles in ff7?

There is also a mini-game in golden saucer that is centered around Mog and the moogles. Oh, and lest I forget, Cait Siths Level two Limit Break if you score three stars you get "mog dance" which restores your hp/mp. Moogles are there, but they are kind of on the DL

[PeneloRatsbane]

He already realized this: he looked so hot that the women all swarmed him so he went back to wearing it

do they have days of the week in FFVII?

there are days of the week and they are called.

Nickeveryonesmateriaday
MopeaboutdeadAeris/Lucreciaday
Inapropriatelyshortskirtday
Swearyourtitsoffday
Madscienceday
Rufusday
and finally the day of rest, Pimpingyourselfoutday


if there was a "Miss Lab Coat" ffvii contest who would win? Lucrecia, Shalua, Shera or Hojo?

[BG-57]

Hojo, because he misses his lab coat the most.

Why are the eight Mako reactors in Midgar?

[Suvious]

Because on Pres. Shinras eighth birhtday he had a rl good time so he only made 8 reactors to remember it by!

How does Sephiroths hair float when he uses magic!?

[Randgris]

Cause he's full of 'air'

Who are the top 5 worst dressers in FFVII?

[sillybuttons™]

Top 5 worst dressers:-
1-Yuffie (Her pants buttons are open......... SHES 16!!!!!!!!!)
2-Vincent (Got that emo thang goin on)
3-Shiva (Soft porn at its best)
4-All the Turks (Reservoir Turks? Whos Mr. Pink?)
5-Tifa (That top is WAAAAAAYYYY too baggy)

If Cloud had a "Female Lure Materia" would he have even bothered saving the planet and wotnot?:mog:

[PeneloRatsbane]

Well Yes cos he could have all the fit hotties in the world and he'd still just angst for the dead g/f of the man who saved his life, cos he's spoilt like that.

Why don't AVALANCHE just stop off at the Pharmacy and pick up some bloody travel sickness pills for Yuffie, you can even get them in super markets! it would take 2 minutes if that!?

[Velocity Eleven]

because you havn't reached level 7934 yet

What is Cloud Strife's surname?

[BG-57]

Nine.

Who's the Queen of Honey Bee Inn?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Vincent, but he got the sack when a customer complained about his penis. It's the really reason he's so upset.

who would win in a race?
Tifa on Fenrir with super fuel
Barret on a Gold Chocobo thats really hungry and there some greens at the finish line
Yuffie getting a piggy back from Vincent and she's got a whip
Or Cid waterskiing using the highwind?

[Edge7]

Yuffie, 'cause Vincent wants to be left alone.

Who'd finish in last?

[Hambone]

Your Mom.

Why do Yuffie and Tifa suppress their love?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Because of sweet lil cooky brunettes with big bangs who die in tradgic ways usually to do with Sephiroth and make they're fitty lovey darling dumpling sweetie cakes (aka: Vince and Cloud) into 14 year old emo's who'd rather sit and listen to my chemical romance when they could be tapping fit hottie heroic better for them girl ass. But someday Yuffie and Tifa shall rise up and give those freaks the time of there lives.
mawhahaha


How did Reeve feel when Vincent cruelly "fashoin policed" his outfit in DoC?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

Violated, cause it took his three hours to pick it out.


Where is northern crater?

[PeneloRatsbane]

The Northern Crater is In Barret's pants

How many members of avalanche can Vincent sucessfully shelter from the rain by tucking them under his skanky rottern cape?

[champagne supernova]

32.
Why did Sephiroth go grey at such a young age?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Cos he thought it made him special and unique and it was his way of sticking one to his mum and dad and alien, Sephy wanted to be all rebelious. But then Kadaj loz and Yazoo did it too and it was totally not cool anymore, so hes going to shave it down to a mullet and dye it purple with classy blonde streaks (props to Rinoa for that style suggestion)

How many Turks does it take to screw president rufus....uh i mean a lightbulb, yeah a lightbulb

[sillybuttons™]

The lightbulb is surpassed by only Rufus' ignorance. We need to ask why would Rufus screw in a lightbulb. so....
Why would Rufus screw in a lightbulb?:mog:

[PeneloRatsbane]

Because Rufus is ascared of the dark, because when he was a kid his dad used to lock him in the cupboard so he could have saucy tea-parties with Hojo, Heidigger, Scarlett and professor Gast
And he has to do it himself because whenever he says "Oi Tseng come and screw in this..." tseng would always jump him before he could explain fully what he had meant.

who is better at syncronised swimming: Zack or Cloud?

[Suvious]

Zack because Clouds emo hair blinds him!


Did Sephiroth get abused as a child?

[champagne supernova]

Sephiroth was never a child. He came out of the womb a fully grown man.

Why can't you explore the whole of Midgar?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Sephiroth was never a child. He came out of the womb a fully grown man.

Why can't you explore the whole of Midgar?

well that explains why Lucrecia ain't too happy doesn't it.

you can't explore all of Midgar because the rest of it is filled with toxic gas.

How many packed lunches can you make out of 1 midgar Zolom? and what recipes would you use

[Suvious]

I'd say about 3! With pickle and mayonaise!

How many chocobos can the party force breed?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

As many damn chocos as it takes to get 6 golden ones!

How many times must Sephiroth die before they stop bringing him back?

[Aerisfanatic]

Dont worry its just until his contract expires.

Hoew long until everyone in the slums die out completely?

[PeneloRatsbane]

They did almost all die when meteor hit, but the people who were sucessfully evacutated all moved into that little cat room next to Yuffie's house. She plans on killing them all because they stay up late and dance around like the poor people on the titanic.

if you had to buy presents for avalanche members what would u get for them

[champagne supernova]

Dogs, so they can all have some friends.

Why did Aeris die?

[Kappy]

A ten foot sword went through her stomach.

[BG-57]

Kappy, your answer was intelligent, which automatically disqualifies it. :greenie:


for those who dont know how this works , one person asks a stupid question, the other answers it with a stupid answer and posts another stupid question

Aeris got lead poisoning.

If you can learn Trine from Goda, how do you learn Quatro?

[Aerisfanatic]

Kappy, your answer was intelligent, which automatically disqualifies it. :greenie:


for those who dont know how this works , one person asks a stupid question, the other answers it with a stupid answer and posts another stupid question

Aeris got lead poisoning.

If you can learn Trine from Goda, how do you learn Quatro?
Silly rabbit everyone knows that Quatro comes after Tres...
So all you have to do is count! Uno Dos Tres Quatro!

What was Barret saying under all those censors?

[6294]

Just 3 years to retirement, man these people are annoying me.

How do I get the Tournesol

[champagne supernova]

Just 3 years to retirement, man these people are annoying me.



How do I get the Tournesol


By playing Final Fantasy XII.

Why was Cheese Weapon never included in the game?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Because Cloud is lactose intolerant and it would have given him very bad gas.

How would Aeris's life have been different if she'd Joined SOLDIER?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

She would be bad ass and wear skimpy pink battle wear. XP

How does Barrett shoot his arm?

[dragontamer]

Aim, and press the big, red button that says shoot!

How does cloud keep his hair gravity-defyent?

[Carl the Llama]

with anti gravity materia!

why didnt Aerith start her own range of designer footwear?!

[PeneloRatsbane]

She did, her design is modeled by Vincent thru out the game, i think its clear to see why it didn't catch on

Where do cid and Shera sleep? there house is so full of junk?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

They sleep in the rocket.

What happens when Cloud has a bad hair day and his hair lays flat?

[champagne supernova]

Cloud never has a bad hair day.

Why does Meteor only arrive straight after you fight Sephiroth?

[Carl the Llama]

because Sephiroth is actully the hero and was keeping Meteor from crashing down, Cloud and the gang are secretly EVIL!!!!

CloudxVincent?

[PeneloRatsbane]

there love was so strong and true, but they bought each other down with there emo-ness and had to break up, which in turn made them more emo. So Cloud turned to Tifa who looks like Vincent just with big breasts and is female and more cheerful.
And Vincent cheered right up eventually and joined a dance troupe
so alls well that ends well

Why does it take them so bleeding long to tell elmyra that Aeris is dead, i mean really its a bit more important than snowboarding?!!

[FFIX Choco Boy]

Because they don't want to break her little heart by saying Cloud killed her.

How many Yuffies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Hmm lets see... well It takes a crisis core Yuffie to try and allure Zack, it takes a FFVII Yuffie to come on to Cloud and it takes a FFVIIdoc Yuffie to screw...Vincent, no wait thats not right its supposed to be a lightbulb!
Yuffie doesn't do manual labour, so she'd paint the light bulb and stick it in Cid's pocket as a decoy for when she steals his materia.

What if things had worked out well between Hojo and Lucrecia, how would Sephiroth had turned out then?

[Cleric]

Sephiroth was destined to be a crazy hoe, but I think they would've had a "normal" child and named it bizarro sephiroth.

Why does Aerith have the best flipping limit breaks arghhh????!

[Vivisteiner]

Because you can resurrect her by beating ruby weapon on level one with Cait Sith and then pressing square triangle square square select start select square triangle circle select x. And when you resurrect her you now have a really cool character with super limit breaks to reward you.


Why isnt it called Final Fantasy VI?

[DarkBahamut]

Because it isn't FFVIII

Why isn't Cloud in Pokemon?

[sdm42393]

Because Nintendo thought Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold (or whatever other color that would be a character name) would be cooler.

How do Cloud, Zack, Aeirth, Sephiroth get their hair like that?

[arcanedude34]

Electricity. Lots of it.

Why does nobody except Vincent, Barret, (somewhat) Yuffie, and (somewhat) Cid have a taste for practical weapons?

[Aerisfanatic]

Because there prudes.

What caused Cloud to be so sad?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

He has Erectile Dysfunction.

Why does Yuffie like hiding in the forests?

[PeneloRatsbane]

She doesn't actually like forests , she wanted to hide in vincent's coffin but it got a little crowded so they had a guitar hero tournament to decide who had to go to the forest, Vincent had mad skills and owned her.

why didn't tifa rip cait sith a new one when he said (in front of her if u took her) that Cloud and aeris were a perfect match

[Aerisfanatic]

Because there is no reason to mess with the truth :tongue:

Why cant we go back to the temple after Disc one?

[PeneloRatsbane]

honest to spehiroth truth! for some weird reason i thought that the temple had blasted off in to space?! no idea why, this playthru i paid attention and realised it shrunk...but yeah its in space thats why

How come Cid just stood around posing with AVALANCHE grinning like a goon at the end of Advent Children when his wife was sick with Geo-stigma?

[Unstoppable Pig]

Cid doesn´t have to mourn his wife, he is so badass he can have new wife anytime he wants.


How many wifes Cid has to have, before he gets wants to try something new in another words sex with men?

[PeneloRatsbane]

5, he put a dress on to Vincent who adapted well to the change but just as Cid was about to Court Him Yuffie came in with a Moustache drawn on her face and promised to treat Vincent like a really lady and give him lots of pretty jewels, he swooned and poor old Cid just couldn't compete with the glamourous lifestyle Yuffie had to offer. So he got really drunk and Kissed Reeve and ended up loosing his job.

Is orthapedic underwear Tifa's most shameful secret or is she hiding anything else

[DarkMateria]

no, she's hiding the reason that she has to wear orthopedic underwear.

Why can Aeris in battle survive explosions, tidal waves, machine gun bullets, thousand of volts of electricity,poison attacks and other painful life threatening things like that, but one sword through the gut and she's dead?

[mindfray]

because any good villan in any source of media is one you love to hate. killing aries and his other evil deeds is the story tellers way of making hate sephiroth. makes it more satisfying to take them out if you built up a little angst towards them.

[DarkMateria]

not really asking why she died, just saying how in battle she survives all sorts of things but can't take a little stab through the gut. I believe you have to ask a stupid question now.

[Rostum]

Way to ruin the flow, mindfray.

[Aerisfanatic]

because any good villan in any source of media is one you love to hate. killing aries and his other evil deeds is the story tellers way of making hate sephiroth. makes it more satisfying to take them out if you built up a little angst towards them. Sorry mindfray but unfortunately that is a smart answer, so that automatically cancels it out.

Because poor Aeris forgot to wear her protective vest.

If Lightning is the female version of Cloud. Then who is the male version of Yuffie?

[arcanedude34]

Uh.... Yuffie. : P Or Zell I suppose.

Why doesn't Sephy get a haircut? He really needs one...

[champagne supernova]

His hair's made out of mithril, and thus cannot be cut by any substance known to man.

How can an entire population of the world consist of several villages with about 6 houses in each?

[arcanedude34]

Cuz most people live on the street, spitting out random trivia to anyone who happens to bump into them.

Why doesn't Cloud get killed by hitting the electric lines during the Mr. Dolphin mini-game?

[ReloadPsi]

Because Mr. Dolphin is not actually water elemental, in spite of being an aquatic lifeform.

How many rounds can Barret's gun arm fire in one minute?

[DarkMateria]

about as manyrounds he can drink at a bar in one minute

cid likes to attach his last name to stuff (his ship, his ultimate weapon) What else might he have attached his last name to?

[Aerisfanatic]

His farts ;)

What is Cloud's mom's name?

[champagne supernova]

Condensation.

How does Jenova see where she's going, seeing she has no head?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Seto is her guide dog, he just put a statue up in Cosmo Canyon so that they think he's a hero and not assisting an alien freak.

How did Gast seduce Iflana?

[leader of mortals]

Duh, every girl goes crazy for people with money, and a professer would probably make a lot... Or date rape drugs:eek:

When someone says something to cait sith, do they look at the mog or the cat?

[champagne supernova]

Both, they're eyes are big enough.

Is the Mog Cait or is he Sith?

[Hyperion4444]

The Cat toy is Cait.
The Moogle is Sith.
It's a hard one for people who didn't bought FFVII : DoC (Surprisingly, over 1 million, surprisingly disapointing compared to FFVII original)

Why does Tifa has such cool names for her weapons like Tiger Claw and Dragon Fang while Cloud has... Butterfly Edge?

[Aerisfanatic]

The Cat toy is Cait.
The Moogle is Sith.
It's a hard one for people who didn't bought FFVII : DoC (Surprisingly, over 1 million, surprisingly disapointing compared to FFVII original)

Why does Tifa has such cool names for her weapons like Tiger Claw and Dragon Fang while Cloud has... Butterfly Edge? Because Tifa is cool that way, and as for Cloud, after the hot tub incident he started naming his own weapons.

Whats the name of the Planet?

[ReloadPsi]

The.

"Planet" was a mistranslation of an obscure Japanese honorific that cannot be romanised, causing the translators to believe that the planet was called "The Planet", and not "Planet The", or whatever the obscure honorific that cannot be romanised is actually meant to translate into.





Where was Cid keeping those parachutes anyway?

[Hyperion4444]

Right next to the built-in Chocobo ranch.
(Inside the Chocobo manure excrements)
sorry...

Who do you think Tifa loves the most, Cloud or Vincent?
(Hey, Cloud gets to choose between Aerith and Tifa!)

[PeneloRatsbane]

She tried to "love" Cloud, so she asked Aeris and the flower girl punched her in the nose.
So then she asked Lucrecia if she could "Love" Vincent and she said "yeah fine, go for it" so she galloped home to make her move but when she tried it on wiv Vincent Yuffie "accidently" round house kicked her in the teeth, and no amount of surgery could save her looks and the boys were to shallow.
so she loves Barret cos he is deeper emotionally.

Does Elena prefer chunky peanut butter or smooth?

[squiike]

Smooth, so its easyer to smear on stuff.

Why is the only option to fight, run away, or to die from loco weed?

[Carl the Llama]

Cause in reality, loco weed is the Ultimate Fighting Machiene and as such if you were allowed to befriend him Sephiroth would run in fear.

Whats Clouds favorite ice cream flavor?

[arcanedude34]

Chocobo. : P

What does chocobo taste like?

[PeneloRatsbane]

they tastes like shame and exploitation. cept the pink ones they taste like strawberries and the black ones taste like lemonade.

what would all the avalanche members sing for kareoke night?

[Carl the Llama]

YMCA!

What would happen if Chocobo Weapon and Cheese Weapon were to mate?

[Crescennt]

What would happen if Chocobo Weapon and Cheese Weapon were to mate?

Their child would be blue!

Why does Yuffie like to steal materia?

[TEDDYRAY]

..B/C shes to lazy to get a job...


Why doesnt cloud get over his inferiority complex...

[The Last Ancient]

He has a small penis.

What kind of prison allows you to get out, no matter what the crime, if your a good chocobo racer?

[squiike]

Prisons that are located under fun-parks in societies that value chocobo racing over everything.

why did marlene move into that tower in Kalm? did she have a relationship with vincent? (since u can get his gun there?)

[Aerisfanatic]

Because being in a "tower" made her feel like a princess. And as for Vincent, he almost resorted back to his pedophilic ways. He then gave Marlene a gun in case he tried it again.

What happened to everybodies elbows?

[squiike]

A: nuthin, they just look small cause the muscles has been buffed with mako, kreatin and steroides

Q: What's with Cloud's MC Hammer jeans?

[oveja]

A:they give him the groove to fight

Q:Who is the mysterious black chocobo rider?

[Carl the Llama]

Me!!!


Who am I?

[sir helix]

A: a pupu that steals friggen cows

Q: why does sephy have mother issues?

[Cleric]

A: Because he has two moms; One has a large bust and is headless!

Q: What happened to the mayor of Midgar post-meteor?

[Saber]

A) he dated a chocobo

Q) What did cloud do in the two years between FF7 orignial game and Advent Children?

[PeneloRatsbane]

A) He angst'd a lot, then he tried to work on his novel, then he angst'd some more and then he enter a ambigous relationship with Tifa, and Vincent, and Yuffie and Barret, once all at the same time.

Q) What do the chickadees see in his great insaneness aka: Hojo

[squiike]

A: Because he is too smart for them, ergo unacessible. what they cant get they crave/ He has unlimited dope in the lab, teh chicks got need for speed

B: Has Cloud really had better dog food?

[Crimson]

A: No, he doesnt eat dog food, he becomes it.

Q: Why does sephiroth like leather on his bare chest?

[Saber]

Q) It reminds him of his S&M days

A) What would aeris do in advent children if she was alive?

[sir helix]

A- summon HOLY and kill kadaJ

Q- iF Red XIII is that last of his kind then were did those two little ones come from

[squiike]

A: Hojo's mating program was a sucess! Aeris is the father of the children

Q: How did Gold Saucer manage to make so real simulators of the FF7 world? Like the snowboard game and submarine fight

[Arthurdent_78]

A: Because they don't use real simulators, they simply knock you unconscious and it is your dreams which you are experiencing.

Q: Why is it that when main characters die in FF games, i. e. Aeris, the rest of the party doesn't simply cast Life to bring them back?

[Crimson]

A: Because Plotholes dont exist in Japan

Q: how awsum is t3h mudkipz boss :confused:

[Unstoppable Pig]

A: Well only mediocre awesome since you can defeat Mudkip with poke.. I mean materiaball.

Q: We all know how to bring Aeris back to alive but how do you bring back alive another victim of Masamune, President Shinra?

[squiike]

A: Yes, no?...what?

Q: How was Cloud and co. mentally at state, after traveling the world, meeting new people..and killing most of them, and randomly animals they encountered?

[Cleric]

A: They didn't care; The people got what was coming to them, and well AVALANCHE isn't PETA...

Q: Why did the Cockatrice cross the road?

[Ultros]

A: because their was gold on the other side! ;)

Q: who would win in a fight: bugenhagen or sephiroth?? :p

[squiike]

A: Sepiroth would kill the old man dead, he would walk over to the old guy and poke he's sword through him

Q: Where do they carry all the items and stuff?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

A: Boots, armpits, anywhere that's open really.

Q: How can Sephiroth kill a giant snake that's 100 times his size by spearing it with a tree, but a man just as big as he is keeps kicking his ass?

[Crimson]

A: The man knew of Sephiroths only weakness, a big http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifing sword, the snake didnt.

Q: why did cloud complain about dressing up as a women but was perfectly fine jumping into a tiny hot tub with 8 men?

[Aerisfanatic]

Because Cloud is still in the closet. He perfectly enjoyed it, he just didn't want to make it obvious.

What are Barret's true feelings for cloud?

[Unstoppable Pig]

A: Barret has secret crush on Cloud but he is too shy to express his feelings so he hired Sephiroth and Jenova to summon meteor and lots of other bad deeds just to get spend more time with Cloud. Why do you think Aeris died?

Q: Is it true that Reeve put cameras into Tifas breats to spy Cloud and his team?

[Edge7]

A: Of Course! Unfortunately, they did more than just spying on Cloud's Group. :eek:

Q: What else did they do?

[Aerisfanatic]

The only logical thing to do with monsters and random occurrences... "Sharpen their swords"

How do you unlock Rikku as a playable character?

[Pulgo1]

Dye Yuffie's hair blond.


Whatever happened to Barret's parents?

[DarkBahamut]

A: They abandoned him as child and adopted Dane.

Q: Why can't Cloud fly up all the stairs in the game? After all he is a "Cloud."

[thegirth]

A: Because while he may be a Cloud, he is not the Flying Nimbus.

Q: Who's not drinking their GODDAMN TEA?

(P.S. This thread is the most successful thing I have ever done in my life.)

[DarkBahamut]

A: Vincent, no Yuffie, no Bahamut ZERO! DAMN!

Q: How come Cloud doesn't love Tifa as much as Tifa loves him?

[FFIX Choco Boy]

A: He has ED

Q: Where is Sephiroth's mother at now?

[DarkBahamut]

A: In a cave, LOCKED UP, WON'T LET HER OUT! WON'T LET HER OUT NOOOOOOOO! WON'T LET HER OUT! Go Akon!

Q: A telephone starts playing FFVII with gameshark and looks on the ground and finds Tifa's #, what does he do?

[squiike]

A: eats a jolly good lolly

Q: why did cloud not have teh sexxorz with the grlz?

[leader of mortals]

A. He already had the sexxorz with mukki?

Q. Why was my answer a question?

[DarkBahamut]

A: Cuz cloud didn't

Q: How come Cait Sith is as cool as Reeve?

[Edge7]

A- That was a trick question; Reeve's about 10 times cooler.

Q- What was the most blasphemus thing Cloud said to Sephiroth (you get an imaginary cookie if you include a mother joke)

[^OmegaShot^]

A: hey Sephy, your nipples are blazing out from your shirt

Q: why cloud hates sephy so much?

[NeoCracker]

A: Well, you remember that one time in FF VII, there was a flashback to cloud and Sephi in a bar? Well, Sephiroth never called back...

Q: How much Materia could a woodchuck chuck of a woodchuck could chuck materia?

[killiancurse21]

42 pieces.

Why doesn't Demi work on Ruby Weapon yet does on Emerald Weapon?

[DarkBahamut]

A: Because he has AIDS.

Q: Did Aeris drown?

[Shattered Dreamer]

A. No kitchen utensil related accident possibly a spoon

Q. Where did Tifa get her boob job?

[Emerald weapon]

a.the wonder square

q.how can a megaphone inflict damage?

[Skyblade]

A: People sing Backstreet Boys music through it.

Q: How can a hairpin inflict damage?

[killiancurse21]

A: People write Backstreet Boys lyrics on it.

Q: How can a gun inflict damage?

[BG-57]

A: With Mind Bullets! That's telekensis, Kyle.

Q: How can a Mop inflict damage?

[Rantz]

A: It wipes them out, simply enough.

Q: How can Cloud carry such a big sword?

[Traxis]

A: He is Naruto in disguise and uses Chakra to make him super powerful

Q: If Cloud is the main character, then what is Barret?

[Edge7]

A: The stereotypical African American sidekick.
Q: Does Cloud like to dress up in girly outfits?

[Melissaur]

Yes but when he's a girl he called Rain not Cloud.

So black materia casts "dark" right?

[G13]

Yes but only if the person is already blind.

How do you wake Vincent up?

[Melissaur]

You don't!! He'll get mad at you an kill you!

How can I save Aeris?

[Aydin]

I prefer the term 'African American Materia...'

Cloud/Tifa is obviously not the best couple so who is? Sephiroth/Cloud!? :3

[Melissaur]

No Elena and Dark Nation is

[G13]

Tifa: Use the time spell to stop Sephiroth from stabbing her and kick him in the balls.

Vivi: Red XIII and Yuffie are the perfect couple.

How do I get the Gelnika to fly?

[Melissaur]

Use all the parts you get from defeating the WEAPONS to put it back together.

How do I keep my chocobo from flying away?

[G13]

The only way is to cook him.

How many split personalities does Cloud have?

[Melissaur]

One for every member of every boy band that's ever existed.

How do you reverse "reflect" magic?

[G13]

A sword in the face will do the trick!

Why, of all places, did Reeve send his old, wrinkly parents to the Honey Bee inn?

[Melissaur]

Cause they don't like butterflies

Why do all the separate countries speak the same language?

[G13]

There is another language, remember? Planet-Moan!

What kind of people are Red XIII's?