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View Full Version : Create your own 10 commandments.



Wtfmate
01-27-2007, 06:13 AM
Alright, so let's say you're God. What 10 commandments would you create?

(And no, you're not God already. ;))

Christmas
01-27-2007, 08:08 AM
http://forums.eyesonff.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_vb_board_usage

There's more than ten in this forums. :(

No.78
01-27-2007, 09:38 AM
Do we have to write them in old english? Lowlz

1. You will respect those you do not know
2. You will not judge without reason
3. You will not hate without reason
4. Don't steal?
5. Use protection ;)
6. Only hurt those who truly deserve it v_v
7. Filler
8. Filler
9. Ummmm, don't vandelize?
10. No sex without concent!

Bunny
01-27-2007, 12:55 PM
1. Thou shalt not suck.

Hey look, I only need one.

Captain Maxx Power
01-27-2007, 02:25 PM
Like Moses said when he came down from the mountain. "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is I've whittle them down to ten. The bad news is adultery's still one of them".

1. Thou shalt always be Pirate, for that is the correct way
2. Thou shalt always be Red Mage, for that is also the correct way
3. Quistis is super hot
4. Thou shalt ne'er be insulted unless thou shalt insult back (read: eye for an eye)
5. Thou shalt not sayeth stupid jazz
6. Thou shalt not abbreviate or "lol", unless thou ist being ironic
7. Thou shalt not be arrogant or shop in Habitat or visit Starbucks
8. Thou shalt know that Maxx Power is awesome
9. Thou shalt also know that Maxx Power is better than you
10. No loafing

Rye
01-27-2007, 02:51 PM
*Thou shall not call anime/video game characters your spouse
*Thou shall watch Lazy Town~
*Thou shall tickle someone's fancy once a day. :)
*Thou shall not kick the pengies ;_;
*Thou shall often hug the cute animals
*Thou shall rub Mr. MILF's tenctacles
*Thou shall call DK an emo kid
*Thou shall worship the 3times LOVE trinity (Mr. Rogers, Freddie Mercury, Japanese Colonol Sanders)
*Thou shall let Engrish Santa slide down your hole a Christmas
*Thou shall terrorize Raistlin!!! :jess:

Laddy
01-27-2007, 03:15 PM
Thou shalt not kicks limes.
Thou shall weep when Sayid dies on Lost.
Thou shalt not kiss kittens without consent of a 14 year-old.
Thou shalt not have pink hair during July.
Thou shalt no receive an IM from my sister's arch enemy by accident. (I'm sorry God according to me! I'm doing it right now!)

Breine
01-27-2007, 04:40 PM
This reminds of a running joke I had with some of my class mates, where we would make a fictional religion with me as a god. I'm not really sure how it came to be, but the religion was called "Kezeism", and we did in fact have some commandments (not 10, though, but around 7... because no one could think of more). I don't exactly remember them all, but some were ("Keze" being me):


- One must not have eyes like a seal.
- One must always drive Keze home.
- ...If that is not possible, one must keep Keze company on the school bus.


Yep, I know... Danish humour is lame :eep:

Madame Adequate
01-27-2007, 05:16 PM
1) You shall not kill.
2) You shall not draw distinctions between sapient lifeforms based on skin color, molecular construction, gender, age, etc. etc..
3) You shall respect privacy and liberty more than safety.
4) You shall not stop whatever causes you offense only on the basis that it causes offense.
5) Crazy killers were crazy before they played DooM or GTA, and before they listened to Marilyn Manson. If people display such symptoms before they snap, you shall get them some help.
6) Actually, you shall just be generally respectful and tolerant enough to not drive people into that situation in the first place.
7) You shall not take the piss.
8) If your society should ever reach the point where cups of coffee are labelled "Warning: Hot", you shall revolt.
9) You shall enjoy sports in the quiet privacy of your own home, or the stadium where they are held. They shall not be broadcast in public places.
10) You shall not be prudish or overly concerned with matters pertaining to sex. I did not make it so much fun just for you to all develop severe complexes over it.

vorpal blade
01-27-2007, 11:38 PM
Behold, the One Commandment!

Hambone
01-28-2007, 12:03 AM
1. Shut up!
2. Do not read billboard signs out loud.
3. Don't drink the last Sprite.

I can only think of 3.

Quindiana Jones
01-28-2007, 12:44 PM
1. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
2. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
3. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
4. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
5. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
6. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
7. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
8. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
9. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.
10. Thou shalt not suffer a Manus to live.

Timster
01-28-2007, 01:23 PM
10 commandments of being a teenager:
1. Thou shall not sneak out when thy parents are sleeping (why wait?)
2. Thou shall not do drugs (alcohol lasts longer)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-mart (Walmart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism (destructon has a bigger effect)
5. Thou shall not steal from their parents (everyone knows Grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights (start them)
7. Thou shall not skip class (take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not go to strip clubs (Hooters has better food)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex (like Nike says... just do it)
10. Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street (leave them in the middle)

These are not my own I found them here (http://www.boardofwisdom.com/Default.asp?start=31&topic=1005&listname=Humor), but I thought they were so good that I had to share them with other people....

Grendal
01-28-2007, 03:18 PM
How about...

I.) Never intentionally bring harm to another sentient thing.
II.) Never assume pride for one's conviction or recognition for one's own work.
III.) Never seek to establish a mortal authority; never posture oneself as an authority.
IV.) Never believe oneself or one's priorities to be above any other sentient lifeform.
V.) Never condemn others based on race, conviction, lifestyle, or other diversities.
VI.) Always put science before conviction.
VII.) Always share with those in need; never hoard to oneself.
VIII.) Never assume possession over anything.
IX.) Always remember that life is ephemeral; attachment and seperation eventually bring unhappiness. Do not take focus on what life is not -- focus on what life is, and can be.
X.) Above all else, one's life should be spent working toward a brighter future, loving with passion and helping others.

Mercen-X
11-08-2012, 06:26 PM
1 "Eat the wrapper! I'm f-ing serious. You're lazy and irresponsible, every last one of ya, tossing your trash wherever the hell you feel is most convenient. Suck it up! Either learn to dispose of your crap properly and clean up the environment around you or start eating the plastic off your damned Twinkies and Snickers, ya fat asses! Afraid it'll block your digestive track? Here's an idea: shred it first. The human body stands a better chance of breaking down the complex makeup of a candy wrapper than most any other creature. It's time you jerks put it to some use." - signed, the Idiot

2 "Get neutered! You'll feel better and you'll be doing the rest of us a favor. Your aggression and prejudiced behavior are inspired by a subconscious sexual suppresion. Once your chemicals are rebalanced, you'll calm down and realize your thoughts are pointless. Just do what your f-ing told and leave the thinking to the big boys." - signed, the Head

3 "Jump! Why drag everyone down with your whack long-winded contemplations on life? If you feel useless it's because you are. You lend nothing to a dying society with your emotional fallout and your psychological self-diagnoses and examination of the world's harsh realities cruel torment sucking your will to live." - signed, the Jackass

4 "Get out! If you've got some skeletons in your closet, you'd best realize people will find them eventually. You're better off coming out to the world on your own terms rather than being dragged out by your hair a whimpering mess and strung up by the masses who use the keeping of secrets as an excuse to ridicule and torture each other to sate their own monotonous existence. It doesn't matter if you're gay, a pedophile, a necrophiliac, or a murderer. The world is much kinder to those who admit who they are early on." - signed, the Hypocrite

5 "NEVER CALL ME A HIPSTER!" - signed, me

Shorty
11-08-2012, 06:46 PM
Nooope.

We're not gonna start reviving five year old threads, kthx.