All the Final Fantasy Villains...Sit Down and Talk

[Forsaken Lover]

Let's say that in a special dining hall, every villain in FF history is attending and talking. (if they can talk) Just speculate on who would talk to who and what would be said. Who'd get along, who wouldn't get along...they're all just shooting the bull and you can imagine and reply with anything that you think they'd say to one another.

I realize Ultros will be running the show...but what else?

[f f freak]

They would all end up dead because the heroes would turn up just as the villians were starting their babies and chocobo salad. The heroes would kill all the villians and then eat the babies and chocobo salad themselves

[Craig]

Ultros is that Octopus isn't he? He'd be dinner.

[Renmiri]

Seymour: "This octopus is delicious Sephiroth, you must give the recipe to Trommel, my houseward! Is this your Mother's recipe ?"

[Forsaken Lover]

This is just lunacy. Ultros would kick Seymour's ass.

[Renmiri]

Seymour keeps coming back, just like the Energizer Bunny :D

[Bunny]

Sephiroth and Kefka would sit down and have a nice civilized chat about which one of them would win.

[Forsaken Lover]

Kefka is more likely to laugh at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: I was to use Meteor to be a god and so I brought the Black Materia to myself at Northern Crater, summoned it and then made a big barrier around it while I prevented the Planet from stopping Meteor. And...

Kefka: Yada-yada-yada. So you wanted to be a god? I was one. I had a giant tower made out of random crap and enjoyed leisurely vaporizing towns. You had a big hole in the ground and a big rock...and both of it did crap.

Kefka would kill Sephiroth while laughing. And the true FF fans rejoice.

[f f freak]

Actually Kefka would most likely not speak to Sephiroth. I don't think any of them would speak. Maybe they'd just try and kill each other.

[Griff]

Seymour would just have to ask Kuja where he buys his thongs, as they are soo fashionable.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Kefka would poison all their drinks while no one was looking.

[LunarWeaver]

I see a lot of drama in this situation. Who is the best, who had the greatest motivations...Villains have egos, you know? They'd all make fun of Ultimecia for getting two seconds of screentime and she'd get all offended and leave, Kuja would get made fun of for his outfit, Seymour for his hair, Kefka for his whole clown thing, and...Wow, it'd be horrible. I can't bear to think of it any longer.

Basically, it would be exactly the same as fan conversations.

[Wolf Kanno]

It would start off with everyone getting their salads and soups. Everyone is just eating and staring at each other, waiting for the opportune time to strike.

Kefka starts to imagine what it would be like to feel Seymore's insides and begins to laugh maniacally.

Zeromus: Shut the @#$% up you stupdi clown!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!

X-Death: Calm down! You know what yelling does to your blood pressure...

Emperor Palamecian: This is quite ridiculous. We should be a bit more civilized about this. I mean it's not like we all are very different. We should put aside our differences for one moment and just enjoy the evening.

Everone calms down and begins to relax...

Seymore: Finally, another gentlemen! I don't feel like I'm conversing with mere barabrians anymore.

Kuja: Sephiroth, you haven't even touched your salad. Is something wrong?

Sephiroth: Mother doesn't like it when I eat unfamiliar food...

Kuja: Um... ok... what would you really like to eat?

Sephiroth: Lifestream.

Garland(FF9): I can't have you do that!!! Those are the souls of my people I'm supposed to be safeguarding!

Zeromus: You mean the same bastdards who sealed me up when I was still a Lunarian!!!

Garland and Kuja: No!!!

Ultemecia: I just wanted to kompress time into one moment so I would be all powerful.

Garland(FFI): Wouldn't that just had made your life last like an instant. You would become a sorta've god and then died cause existence would have ended. Even if you did live, there really wouldn't be anything to do with your power.

Ultemecia:.... I didn't think about that... but what about you and Chaos? You just created a time loop in order to maintain a false form of immortality and yet still get killed. You would think you would use your influence to kill the heroes before they got too powerful to kill you.

Garland and Chaos look at each other...

Garland and Chaos: Damn we're idiots....

Dark Cloud: So X-Death... what's your story.

X-Death: I'm an evil tree created by humans indescrimanetly sealing evil and forbidden magic into holy trees without ever thinking about the consequences caused by their half assed disposal abilities.

Dark Cloud: A tree hugger huh? Me? I'm an Evil Cloud...

Sephiroth: Cloud!!?? (cue One Winged Angel) I live to make you miserable cause I have nothing better to do!!! Come and facce me now as I destroy everything you love in order to maintain my immortality through your memories!!! (Hey, he's got to do it somehow... Look at Forsaken Lover's post)

To be continued...

[Dr Aum]

Ultemecia: I just wanted to kompress time into one moment so I would be all powerful.

[Ashley Schovitz]

It would start off with everyone getting their salads and soups. Everyone is just eating and staring at each other, waiting for the opportune time to strike.

Kefka starts to imagine what it would be like to feel Seymore's insides and begins to laugh maniacally.

Zeromus: Shut the @#$% up you stupdi clown!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!

X-Death: Calm down! You know what yelling does to your blood pressure...

Emperor Palamecian: This is quite ridiculous. We should be a bit more civilized about this. I mean it's not like we all are very different. We should put aside our differences for one moment and just enjoy the evening.

Everone calms down and begins to relax...

Seymore: Finally, another gentlemen! I don't feel like I'm conversing with mere barabrians anymore.

Kuja: Sephiroth, you haven't even touched your salad. Is something wrong?

Sephiroth: Mother doesn't like it when I eat unfamiliar food?

Kuja: Um... ok... what would you really like to eat?

Sephiroth: Lifestream.

Garland(FF9): I can't have you do that!!! Thoise are the souls of my people I'm supposed to be safeguarding!

Zeromus: You mean the same bastdards who sealed me up when I was still a Lunarian!!!

Garland and Kuja: No!!!

Ultemecia: I just wanted to compress time into one moment so I would be all powerful.

Garland(FFI): Wouldn't that just had made your life last like an instant. You would become a sorta've god and then died cause existence would have ended. Even if you did live, there really wouldn't be anything to do with your power.

Ultemecia:.... I didn't think about that... but what about you and Chaos? You just created a time loop in order to maintain a false form of immortality and yet still get killed. You would think you would use your influence to kill the heroes before they got too powerful to kill you.

Garland and Chaos look at each other...

Garland and Chaos: Damn we're idiots....

Dark Cloud: So X-Death... what's your story.

X-Death: I'm an evil tree created by humans indescrimanetly sealing evil and forbidden magic into holy trees without ever thinking about the consequences caused by their half assed disposal abilities.

Dark Cloud: A tree hugger huh? Me? I'm an Evil Cloud...

Sephiroth: Cloud!!?? (cue One Winged Angel) I live to make you miserable cause I have nothing better to do!!! Come and facce me now as I destroy everything you love in order to maintain my immortality through your memories!!! (Hey, he's got to do it somehow... Look at Forsaken Lover's post)

To be continued...


Best post here :)

[Renmiri]

Seymour would just have to ask Kuja where he buys his thongs, as they are soo fashionable.

Hihi! :p

Iye, I can just picture that

Seymour (very gay): You just HAVE to tell me where you get this gor-g-e-o-ous things Kuja!

[Odaisé Gaelach]

I can just imagine the tension in the air when the two Garlands come in, walk to the dining table, and realise that there's only room for one of them...

[Wolf Kanno]

Kefka: Calm down you Mama's boy. What's your story anyway?


Sephiroth: I was to use Meteor to be a god and so I brought the Black Materia to myself at Northern Crater, summoned it and then made a big barrier around it while I prevented the Planet from stopping Meteor. And...

Kefka: Yada-yada-yada. So you wanted to be a god? I was one. I had a giant tower made out of random crap and enjoyed leisurely vaporizing towns. You had a big hole in the ground and a big rock...and both of it did crap.

Sephiroth: Shut up you damn clown! At least I was so popular I showed up in like six other games besides my own. And you're supposedly a better and more memorable villian? Hah!

Kefka: That's just because fangirls (and some fanboys) want to watch you and Cloud do it...

Sephiroth: Do what?

Everyone shuts up and looks at Sephiroth like the idiot he really is.

Kefka: Good lord... Kuja, you seem to be well aquainted with this area, you explain it to him...

Kuja gives him a dirty look.

Kuja whispers into Sephiroth's ear. Sephiroth turns pale and has a look of utter shock...

Sephiroth: But... no... I want Cloud dead... not like... oh wow... Now when I think about everything I used to say in that context... GOOD LORD! I HAD LANCE BASS DO MY VOICE IN KINGDOM HEARTS!!!

Ultemacia hands him, her laptot. She takes him to a popular yaoi fanfiction site.

Sephiroth: This isn't right... There's like 100 pages of titles...

To be Continued...

[vorpal blade]

I read a fanfic like this on another forum. In the end, Omega comes in and kills everyone.

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

Kuja would be the laughing stock

[Elpizo]

Xande and Golbez would discuss which of the two was the best controlled villain.

Golbez: Well, sorry my dear Xande, but it's clear that I'm the better guy here. I was comander of an airship fleet, manipulated people, turned a friend against his best friend, had 4 Elemental Lords at my command and I did a bunch of random stuff. You unfortunatly, only showed up one time in the game and you were immediatly killed.

Xande: Maybe, but at least I caused a character to die.

Golbez: So did I!

Xande: No you didn't, you got your armoured behind handed to you because that old fool used Meteor on you and killed himself, it was not your doing.

Golbez: Neither was Aria's death your doing!

Xande: But Kraken was my assasin!

Golbez: I have evil monsters as an army at my disposal!

Xande: I have a huge Crystal Tower that costed Square Enix a fortune!

Golbez: I was controlled by a being made of pure hate!

Xande: Mine was the Void! Your master copied my master's plans!

Golbez: My master could at least use more than one attack!

Xande: My master was remade in 3D with more attacks and had 4 bosses that needed to be defeated before she herself could even be harmed!

Golbez: Still, I had more screentime! You were an unknown villain until Square Enix decided to 3D your face in that remake of the game you are in! For 16 years only 1 country knew of your existence! I AM BETTER!

Xande: But you turned into a GOOD GUY in the end!

*Everybody looks at Golbez*

Golbez: ... ... ... Crap ... ... ...

But really, Garland (FF I) would come in and knock them all down.

[No.78]

I can imagine them all at the table, like, really awkardly lol! But yeah, it would unfold into this massive battle of egos lol.
...But who would come out on top?

Kuja would flirt with Sephiroth

[Timster]

Immediately as they sit down everybody begins arguing:fencing: ... when all of a sudden...

Sephiroth*without anyone to argue with*: HEYHEYHEEEEEEEY! EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN FOR ONE SECOND!

*Complete silence, except for Kefka laughing in his normal hysterical way...:mwahaha:, and everyone stares confused at Sephiroth...*

Sephiroth: Ahem... I was just thinking...

Seymour *interrups*: HA! Well that's something new...

*Sephiroth glares evilly at Seymour while everyone else is laughing*:mad2:

Sephiroth *when everyone except for Kefka has stopped laughing*::mad:Anyway!.... what I was saying before I got interrupted, was that I thought it was really stupid that we were here arguing with eachother when we should be plotting against the good guys...

Kuja: was this all you had to say? Because honestly unless you have something else to say, I think we should all continue fighting... but maybe we should kill you first to stop anyone from interrupting us later...:mad:

*Kefka laughs more and more:mwahaha:*

Sephiroth: ... As a matter of fact... I had one more thing to say... When planning on destroying the good guys, remember that we're like a whole bunch now instead of one or two like the first time when we all got sc***ed. This time we CAN'T lose... and that's all I have to say...:cool:

*Everybody suddenly becomes very interested and serious except for Kefka who's laughing even more:mwahaha:*

Sephiroth*speaking louder and louder until finally screaming because Kefka is laughing so loudly*: Finally...*Kefka laughs louder:mwahaha:* now what I was thinking was that we take out the twats that defeated us, one at the time, maybe ambushing them or something like that, maybe poison them but we'll discuss that later... *Kefka laughs louder:mwahaha:*and...*Kefka laughs louder:mwahaha:*AND...*Kefka laughs louder:mwahaha:*... WON*T YOU EVER STOP LAUGHING YOU CLOWN!!!!!:hot:

*Everbody else agrees since he became quite annoying*

Kefka*still laughing*:mwahaha:: MWAHAHAHA...:radred: NO!:evilking:...HAHAHAHAHAH...

*Ultimicia, :hot:pissed off, magically creates an apple and levitates it to Kefkas mouth making him unable to laugh*

*:eek:Kefka, completely shocked and with the apple still in his mouth, sits down with his eyes wide open wondering how anyone dared to do something like that to HIM!*

Ultimicia: At last! That klown was really pissing me off:nonono:!

*Kefka still in complete shock:eek:*

Sephiroth:... Well back to business... So who's good guy should we take care of first?

*everone at the same time*: MY!

*complete silence and everyone is staring suspiciously at eachother*
:shifty::shifty::shifty::shifty::shifty::shifty::eek::shifty::shifty::shifty:
*Kefka, amused by the picture, takes out the apple and continues to laugh as loudly as before...:mwahaha:

To be continued................

[Renmiri]

Kuja whispers into Sephiroth's ear. Sephiroth turns pale and has a look of utter shock...

Sephiroth: But... no... I want Cloud dead... not like... oh wow... Now when I think about everything I used to say in that context... GOOD LORD! I HAD LANCE BASS DO MY VOICE IN KINGDOM HEARTS!!!

Ultemacia hands him, her laptot. She takes him to a popular yaoi fanfiction site.

Sephiroth: This isn't right... There's like 100 pages of titles...

To be Continued...
:hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha:

You should write comic fanfic!


I can imagine them all at the table, like, really awkardly lol! But yeah, it would unfold into this massive battle of egos lol.
...But who would come out on top?
Seymour: Me! Me! Me! I wanna be the cherry on top!

Seymour is the gayest with his dress robes ;)

[Goldenboko]

If Leeza was there it would go like this...


Episode 2:
The Villians' Corner

Kefka: Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Sephiroth: Don't you ever get bored of doing that?
Kefka: No. Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Sephiroth: Sigh, the Villians' Table sucks. I think I'm going to go cut my self now.
Seymour: Why isn't Ultimecia here?
Zemus: Noone likes her!
Seymour: Good point.
Garland: What is this? A cat is at the Villians' table?
Leeza: Thats Admin to you! Say something bad about me again and close your threads!
Vayne: Oooooh, I'm so scared.
Leeza: You better be you stupid Laguna look-a-like. What do you have some kind of crush on him?
Vayne: Maybe :shifty:
Leeza: You're right the Villians' table does suck. I'm going over to the admin and Mods table.
*Leeza leaves*
Kefka: Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Kuja: Shut up!
Kefka: At least I don't wear a thong! Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Kuja: No your just a clown!
*Kuja and Kefka get into a slap fight*
Shuyin: Uh, guys we have a little problem, Sephiroth cut himself too much...

and now he's dead.

To be continued...

[Timster]

If Leeza was there it would go like this...


Episode 2:
The Villians' Corner

Kefka: Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Sephiroth: Don't you ever get bored of doing that?
Kefka: No. Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Sephiroth: Sigh, the Villians' Table sucks. I think I'm going to go cut my self now.
Seymour: Why isn't Ultimecia here?
Zemus: Noone likes her!
Seymour: Good point.
Garland: What is this? A cat is at the Villians' table?
Leeza: Thats Admin to you! Say something bad about me again and close your threads!
Vayne: Oooooh, I'm so scared.
Leeza: You better be you stupid Laguna look-a-like. What do you have some kind of crush on him?
Vayne: Maybe :shifty:
Leeza: You're right the Villians' table does suck. I'm going over to the admin and Mods table.
*Leeza leaves*
Kefka: Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Kuja: Shut up!
Kefka: At least I don't wear a thong! Whahahahahahaha! (http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff6/sounds/au/kefka.au)
Kuja: No your just a clown!
*Kuja and Kefka get into a slap fight*
Shuyin: Uh, guys we have a little problem, Sephiroth cut himself too much...

and now he's dead.

To be continued...
hahahaahha hilarious

[Griff]

Rufus: *looks up* So, why do you think no one has talked to us yet? And how did you fit in the building anyways?
Sin: *with Jecht's voice* Shut up! *proceeds to kill Rufus via sitting on him*

[Wolf Kanno]

Rufus: So you're a talking tree?

X-Death: Yes, I see you were easdropping on my conversation...

Rufus: I'm a buisnessman, it's what we do. Anyway, I was just wondering... You know how mother nature feels right? Can you tell me where the Promised Land is?

X-Death: Have you ever talked to a tree before? Gawd they never shut up. And all they do is bitch and complain.

Rufus: Really?

X-Death: Oh, yeah, house plants mostly just talk about how stupid you humans are.

Rufus: (Whispering) Scarlett, I have a new campaign slogan for ShinRa. ShinRa: Getting back at the planet cause your house palnts are talking behind your back.

Sephiroth(speaking from the back ground): Cloud and Sephiroth's Excellent Erotic Adventure? It has pictures?

Garland(FFI): So you're name is Garland as well?

Garland(FF9): Yes, I am the guardian of the people of Terra.

Garland(FFI): I'm a Knight in the service of a retarded king. I tried to date his daughter and he sent these four assholes to rough me up. Instead they killed me and my soul was sent into the future to become him. (points to Chaos, Chaos waves to them)

Garland(FF9): Ouch, that's a nasty makeover... Me, my problem comes from my family. I have two sons. They're not really my sons, I created them. The first one got amnesia and joined some actor's guild. I never thought he was right to begin with but hey, he's still better than my second child...

Garland(FFI): Who's he?

Garland(FF9) points to Kuja.

Garland(FFI): Good lord... Here, let me buy you a drink.... I mean damn...

Vayne: So... are you two related somehow?

Shuyin: Well yes, sorta've...

Seymore: NO!

Shuyin: We're villains from the same game.

Seymore: No, I was the villain from that game. You're the loser villain from the :skull::skull::skull::skull:ty sequel no one likes. You don't even have a really good backstory...

Shuyin: Yes I do, I wanted revenge against the people who killed my beloved!

Seymore: If she really loved you, she would have come back as a zombie like us. Face it, she burned you.

Shuyin: That...(sniff) not true... WAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!!

Seymore: Now me, I'm a real villain. I came back from the dead to build my ideal Spira. BY KILLING EVERYONE!!!! I started with those detested Ronso cause, well I have allergies and...

Golbez: No one gave a damn about you. Sin was the real villain in that game. The writer's threw your worthless butt into the story cause they needed someone who can talk.

Seymore: How dare you...

Golbez: Furthermore, you got killed like what? Four times. I mean damn. Being undead is all you have going for you. You barely did any real damage compared to the rest of us. Face it, you're the flunky in your game, Sin and Yu Yevon are the real villains. I mean, you could be ommitted from the story and it wouldn't really make a difference.

Seymore:.... WAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Kuja, hold me!!!

Kuja: DAMMIT, I'M NOT GAY!!!! How many times do I have to say it?

Everyone looks at Kuja like he was speaking in tongues. They eye his clothing...

Kuja: This is called a fashion statement! Just cause I wear women's lingerie does not mean I'm gay. Besides, have you ever wore women's underware? It's so silky and soft and it conforms to every part of my body...

The sound of Garland(FF9) weeping loudly from the back can be heard...

Sephiroth: How did this happen? I was the total badass. The villian that inspired a generation of badass villians...

Ultemacia: Hear, let me show you my collection of Cloud/Vincent/Kudaj/ and Sephiroth yaoi fanfiction. Some of it was so explicit, most websites won't even show it in it's entirety. I even have pictures.

Sephiroth: What has happened to me...

To Be Continued...

[Dr. Acula]

Goblez: So, you're an evil clown, huh? So... how's that working out for you?

Kefka: It pays the bills.

[Renmiri]

Seymour: Killed those Ronso because I have allergies... Besides, they shed on the furniture. Do you know how much it cost me to reupholster my couch after Kimahri sat on it ?

[Wolf Kanno]

:hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha:
You should write comic fanfic!


I couldn't draw if my life depended on it:cry:

I would love to see these done in a web comic format...

Looks at LunarWeaver :shifty:

[The Crystal]

They'd all make fun of Ultimecia for getting two seconds of screentime and she'd get all offended and leave,

She appeared many times, using Edea's body.

[Aemilius Blight]

They would all probably remain silent to avoid continuity errors.

[Goldenboko]

They'd all make fun of Ultimecia for getting two seconds of screentime and she'd get all offended and leave,

She appeared many times, using Edea's body.
Read more carefully. Screentime as in on camera. As in you can see her. You just love causing debates don't you?

[Aemilius Blight]

There are plenty of FF villains with as little screen time as Ultimecia.

Really, they shouldn't be ditching her for her lack of backstory.

[Wolf Kanno]

Sephiroth: I have to prove that I'm really a man! Ultemacia! You're a woman are you not?

Ultemacia looks down at her nearly exposed cleavage. Looks back at Sephiroth who is still waiting for an answer.

Ultemacia: Last I checked.

Sephiroth: I need to sleep with you to prove to everyone I am a MAN.

Ultemacia stares at him blankly...

Ultemacia: But that would shatter my wonderful illusion of you and Clou..

Sephiroth: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!!

E. Palamecian: Kuja? Who does your make-up? It's to die for!

Seymore: Truly. The foundation is so seemless and natural. Not to mention your lushious eyelashes.

Kuja: I do my own make-up. I don't believe in doing anything unless I do it for myself. Besides, you save money that way.

Seymore: Beautiful and practical. Truly rare qualities in a man.

Kuja: I'm not gay.

Seymore: I never said you were, but if you were would you...

Kuja: No.

Zeromous: HATE!

Neo X-Death: DEATH!

Kefka: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Zeromous: HAAATE!!!

Neo X-Death: DEEEAAAAATH!!!

Kefka: MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Zeromous: HHHHAAAAAAATTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!

Neo X-Death: DDDDDDEEEEAAAATTTTTTHHHHHH!!!!

Kefka: MMMMWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Chaos: ALRIGHT! WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP NOW!!!! We get it, you hate everything, you only think about death, and you laugh manaically. Please for the love of god! Shut up and let us all drink in peace...

Zeromous: Well you didn't have to be so mean about it.

Neo X-Death: Yeah, we were only having a conversation.

Kefka: Who made you the conversation nazi anyway?

Chaos summons the four fiends.

Chaos: I think it's time we take you down old school style...

Sounds of an epic battle plays in the background.

Seymore: So you wouldn't?

Kuja: No.

Seymore: Not even if I...

Kuja: No. I won't do your makeup. Unless...

Seymore: What?

Kuja: You get rid of that stupid haircut.

Seymore: I can't... It's the source of my power!

Kuja: Really?

Ultemacia: Hey guys. What are you talking about?

E. Palamecia: Hair and make-up. Seymore wants Kuja to do his makeup but Kuja won't unless he cuts his hair...

Ultemacia: I can do it for you.

Seymore: Good heavens no! Your make-up makes you look like a prostitute...

Ultemacia: HOW DARE YOU!!! I put a lot of effort into my looks and to be looked down on by someone with your hair...

Kefka lands in the middle of the group. He laughs maniacally and returns to the battle.

E. Palamecia: At least we all don't look like that...

Everyone: Damn straight...

E. Palamecia: Hey, what happened to Sephiroth?

Ultemacia: I told him to meet me in the janitor's closet so we can do the "dirty deed" and restore his faith in his denial. I turned off the lights and locked the door then left him there to rot.

Sephiroth: (singing) "One is the loneliest number that there ever was..."

[Bunny]

Usually when you write something that uses characters that already exist and already have personalities, you want to keep as close to their personalities as humanly possible. Keep that in mind, Kanno. 'cause you aren't doing it right.

[NeoCracker]

Who cares, its funny as hell.

[Mirage]

http://home.no.net/steak/images/$Deovi$-ff678910-villains-020212.jpg

[Christmas]

Is this a roleplay thread? CAN I BE JENOVA? :bigsmile:

[Renmiri]

Wolf Kano :ROFL

Mirage: You are a true artist!

This thread is great :D

[Mirage]

Not my picture, Renmiri :p, but I wish it was.

[Wolf Kanno]

Garland(FFI) after consoling the other Garland into a drunken stupor turns to face the bar and notices a strange glowing object next to him...

Garland: Jebus! What the hell are you?

Yu Yevon: I am Yu Yevon.

Garland: Who what now?

Yu Yevon: YU YEVON!!! The real villian of FFX. I created Sin to fight in a war over a thousand years ago. I kept summoning him everytime he gets destroyed.

Garland: You know, that never made much since to me. If the war ended a thousand years ago... why did you keep creating Sin? Further more, even if you were the undead like the rest, why don't you have a human form?

Yu Yevon: Listen, I summon a whale, I live in a world where people either become monsters or zombies when they die, and I got my ass kicked by a guy who looks like Meg Ryan. I don't need to explain jack to you. Just let me drink in peace...

Garland: Fair enough.

Jenova: Me, I like to devour worlds.

Zemus: Like Lavos?

Jenova: No, I devour the world's lifestream, it's mental and spiritual information.

Zemus: So... you're a "hippie Lavos", cause he basically does the same thing. Just with genetic information.

Jenova: But I'm different...

Zemus: How so?

Jenova: Umm.... well... you see...

The epic battle continues on...

To Be Continued...

[James16]

Ultmica an Lady Yunalesca would get into a chick fight for showin up in the same outfits

[Renmiri]

Seymour: Oh Pu-lease sister! As if!!!

Seymour: It took them 4 battles to kill me, you were crushed like a bug! I was the real villain of FFX!

[Wolf Kanno]

That's funny Renmiri:D If I could, I would add it after Yu Yevon's speech.

I think I'm going to nail the clown next...

[BarelySeeAtAll]

i want to go!!!!!

[The Crystal]

Read more carefully. Screentime as in on camera. As in you can see her. You just love causing debates don't you?

I don't, is just that is annoying how some people cannot understand that Ultimecia was the villain all along, and not Edea. But this wasn't the case and i just had to read more carefully, so, let's forget about this.

And just a curiosity, Ultimecia appeared before the final battle, when Squall's mind go to the past to watch Rinoa being possesed. Ultimecia even looked at him and said something like "You don't belong to this time. Get out!".

And this thread is hilarious!

[Wolf Kanno]

The three emperors get together...

Palamecian: So you tried the whole "world domination" thing as well?

Vayne: Unfortunately...

Gestahl: With disasterous results...

Palamecian: Same here...

All three: Sigh....

Vayne: I had it all... a sky fortress, power of the gods, and legions of loyal soldiers...

Palamecian: I had a floating fortress, power of the demons, and legions of loyal monsters...

Gestahl: I had a floating continent, power of the gods, and legions of loyal sold... no... I had Kefka....

Palamecian and Vayne: Ouch!

Vayne: That stage stealing prima donna? He stole your thunder. I mean you had everything and this upstart clown kills you and goes off to be a god? You got shown up...

Gestahl: Now wait a minute, like you two can talk. You both got betrayed by your number ones as well if I recall... Your corpse was still warm when Leon took over your throne. And you Vayne you got betrayed by...

Palamecian: HEY! I came back and had my revenge, which is more than I can say about both of you...

The three turn away from each other with a Harumph! and drink quietly while ignoring each other...

Kefka: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Once again I reign supreme!!!

Kefka stands atop the crumbled bodies of Chaos, the four fiends, Zeromous and Neo X-Death...

Neo X-Death and Zeromous: Bastard clown... double crossed us....

Kefka: I'm still the greatest FF villain!

Dark Cloud: Even though you're kinda've a rip off of the Joker?

Kefka: The who?

Dark Cloud: The Joker. Batman's arch nemesis. An evil serial killer who dresses like a clown.

Kefka: But I'm better than him... besides, how often are serial killer clowns really used? I'm still pretty unique...

Golbez: Well there is Stephen King's "It"...

X-Death: And Steve Gacy...

Kuja: and...

Kefka: ENOUGH! I see you are all against me.

Golbez: It's because you're an attention whore.

Kefka: Fine! I'm going somewhere, where I can be appreciated...

Seymore: Did he just go into the kitchen?

Everyone looks at each other to wonder what he's doing...

Kuja: Grab him before he poisons our food!

To be Continued...

[DarkLadyNyara]

And Wolf Kanno wins again. :D


Gestahl: I had a floating continent, power of the gods, and legions of loyal sold... no... I had Kefka....

Palamecian and Vayne: Ouch!

Hehehee :lol:

[Brandon Stroud]

Kefka: Fine! I'm going somewhere, where I can be appreciated...
To be Continued...

Two days later I walk into a McDonald's and see this ticked-off looking clown standing on the other side of the counter. With a malicious, venomous grin, he looks at me from under his visor and says...

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your soul... I mean... order?"


Sorry... I had to do it. Even being my favorite FF villain, Kefka could be better suited as the new spokesclown for Mickey D's after his staggering defeat in FF6. *lol*

[Renmiri]

ROFL!!!

I love this thread :love:

[Wolf Kanno]

Kefka: Fine! I'm going somewhere, where I can be appreciated...
To be Continued...

Two days later I walk into a McDonald's and see this ticked-off looking clown standing on the other side of the counter. With a malicious, venomous grin, he looks at me from under his visor and says...

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your soul... I mean... order?"


Sorry... I had to do it. Even being my favorite FF villain, Kefka could be better suited as the new spokesclown for Mickey D's after his staggering defeat in FF6. *lol*

ROFL :D

That's awsome. I love Kefka as well but he had it coming.

[Brandon Stroud]

Kefka: Fine! I'm going somewhere, where I can be appreciated...
To be Continued...

Two days later I walk into a McDonald's and see this ticked-off looking clown standing on the other side of the counter. With a malicious, venomous grin, he looks at me from under his visor and says...

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your soul... I mean... order?"


Sorry... I had to do it. Even being my favorite FF villain, Kefka could be better suited as the new spokesclown for Mickey D's after his staggering defeat in FF6. *lol*

ROFL :D

That's awsome. I love Kefka as well but he had it coming.
Oh yeah!

[Dr. Acula]

ROFL!!!

I love this thread :love:

So do I! It's awesome!

[Wolf Kanno]

WARNING!!! Contains major FFXII SPOILERS!!! DO NOT READ SPOILER TAGS IF YOU WANT TO PLAY FFXII SPOILER FREE!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:mad:

Vayne walks up to a table with a sign that says "Loser Villains" sitting at the table is Leon, Kain, Edea, General Leo, and Gabranth

Vayne: What's up with this table?

Gabranth: Some of the other villains trapped us here. They say we can't join the rest of the party.

Vayne: Why no...wait a minute...

Gabranth:....

Vayne: I know you! You and your brother went all "Wonder Twins Power Activate" and beat me up! Just as I was about to become the new Dynast-King.

Gabranth:um...sorry?

Vayne: Now I understand... This is a table reserved for losers who betrayed their masters and became good guys...

Leon: Now that I think about it. Why isn't Golbez here?

Everyone looks at Golbez...

Golbez: ZOINKS!

Sephiroth is still in the closet browsing the web on Ultemacia's laptop...
He comes across a Judas Priest fan website.

Kefka is now tied up in a chair as the other villains enjoy themselves.

Kefka: Son of a Submariner! Let me go!

Chaos: You can't say that anymore.

Kefka: What? "Let me go"?

Chaos: No, I mean "Son of a Submariner".

Kefka: Why not!?

Chaos: Cause you're game is being rereleased again. They are even going to do a more accurate translation. You never said that line in the original.

Kefka: What did I say?

Chaos: Son of a Bitch.

Kefka: I CAN'T SAY THAT!!!

Chaos: Why not?

Kefka: Cause Emperor Gestalh will beat me...

Chaos:......

Kefka:......

Chaos: What the hell kinda've double standard is that?! It's alright for you to murder millions and try to destroy the universe but you are not allowed to say a few naughty words?

Kefka: The old man doesn't like "potty mouths".

Chaos: Excuse me, I've got an emperor I need to kill...

Kefka: Bring back some snacks! I'm a little occupied being all tied up and all...

To Be Continued...

[UltimateSpamGrover]

Seymour: *looks at Kuja and smiles*

Kuja: mmm?

Seymour: I cant help to notice that you have a wonderful taste in clothing there.

Kuja: Why thank you *starts twirling his hair*

[Wolf Kanno]

I think I'm going to write a conclusion cause I'm running out of material. Any requests?

[Renmiri]

Seymour asks Yunalesca for hair care tips ;)

[Wolf Kanno]

Zemus looks to see a lady next to him...

Zemus: Ultemacia, I didn't see you there. I thought you were chatting with the prissy boys?

Yunalesca: I'm not Ultemacia.

Zemus:.... Very funny, I guess I'll never understand this "time witch" humor.

Yunalesca: But I'm not her! I'm Yunalesca! I was a summoner turned zombie so I could teach generations how to sacrifice a loved one to temporarily stop Sin.

Zemus: Nice try, but you've got the long silver hair, bad make-up and lack of clothing. You're obviously Ultemacia.

Yunalesca transforms into her freaky "Medusa head" form and eats him.

Yunalesca: Geez, men are such idiots. First my husband flirting around with that "Lenne" girl and now this...

Shuyin: Did you say Leene?

Yunalesca: Yes, my husband was flirting around with a girl by that name. That's why I turned him into the final Aeon and ditched him into Sin. I knew it wouldn't work but it's what he deserved.

Shuyin: (watery-eyed) WAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!! She was seeing other guys before she even ditched me in death!? WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Yunalesca: Gawd you're a loser...

Seymore: Yunalesca! Darling! How's it been? You're keeping up well.

Yunalesca: Seymore! Well you have to when you're my age and decomposing.

Seymore: You're hair is fabulous! How do you do it?

Yunalesca: You know, some blood from sacrifices a few weeds and voila! Hair tonic that will outlast your corpse!

Seymore: Do tell...

Ultros: Attention guests! Now is the time when we will give out the award for best villain in a Final Fantasy.

Everyone hushes and listens attentively.

Ultros: ...and the winner is....

Everyone edges in closer....

Ultros: Shuyin?!

Everyone: WHAT????!!!!!!!!!

Ultros: Apparently, his story of lost love and rejection. As well as his protagonist's with their very short skirts and practically exposed cleavage did very well with the large demograph of 40 year old virgin males.

Shuyin: I WON! IN YOUR FACE!!! See Lenne, I don't need you. I'm loved by all!

X-Death: Screw this contest! We should have settled this the way we all know how. By a BATTLE TO THE DEATH!

All the villains rush the stage and kill Shuyin. Ultros scrambles out of the room as an epic battle beyond description ensued. Only Kefka and Sephiroth don't participate cause of being trapped or tied up.

Kefka: NOOOOO!! Death and carnage and I'm trapped here?!

Sephiroth: This is the greatest and most inspirational band ever... (sniff)

Seymore: Yunalesca. Yu-yevon. We need to get out of here. I wasn't built for fighting. I mean, I just got my nails done and everything.

Yu-Yevon: I agree. Everyone to the giant whale... I mean Sin!

Zeromous: Big Whale?! You stole that idea from my game! BIG BANG!!!!

The three zombies are eradicated.

Sephiroth: I know what I need to do now. Time to accept my fate and reclaim my throne...

Kefka: How dare you kill each other and not let me be involved! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kefka transforms into God Kefka and Sephiroth blasts hios way out of the janitor closet with his one wing and long sword. The tow enter the battle and begin slicing down villain after villain until the meet and begin another epic battle...

Xande: What the hell just happened?!

Golbez: Sephiroth came out of the closet, and Kefka just snapped! Now they are both battling for villain surpremacy like it was some stupid fanboy fantasy! (They both glance at you)

Sephiroth: If Judas Priest, the greatest metal band ever!, can have a gay front man, than I can still be the greatest bad ass villain and still be able to sleep with Cloud!

Kefka: I'm still more lovable than you! And far more EVIL than you will ever be!!!!

?????????: What is this?! A greatest villain competition with a dinner party and everything and you don't invite me?

A mysterious cloaked figure appears between Kefka and Sephiroth. He has a hold of both their hands which were about to lay the final blow.

Sephiroth: Who the hell are you?!

Kefka: Why did you stop the killing?!

?????????: HOW DARE YOU FORGET ABOUT ME.... THE GREATEST FF VILLAIN OF ALL TIME?!!!

Sephiroth and Kefka get loose and each back off. They sense the overwhelming murderous intent from the cloaked stranger.

Both of them: Who are you?

?????????: It is "I"...

The figure removes his cloak to reveal.... GILGAMESH!

He pulls out the Masamune, Excalibur, Buster Sword, Atma Weapon, Gunblade, and Excalipoor.

Gilgamesh: Let's see if you two have the "stones" to take me on...

A new, more grand battle erupts as the three combatians battle throughout the dinner hall. The battle was the stuff of legends but it's victor would eventually emerge as...

To Be Continued...

[Zeromus_X]

http://home.no.net/steak/images/$Deovi$-ff678910-villains-020212.jpg

Man, I was looking all over for a copy of that image. xD

This thread is hilarious. HATE. xD

[chrisfffan]

ha ha thats a funny picture

[Sidderz]

Oh my god that picture is like the best ever! With all of them being fabulous villians aswell. Especially Edea! *huggles Edea*

[KazexLisa]

Seymour getting drunk and Kuja in the bikini hilarious!!!!!!!

[jammi567]

I think Seymour would get on well with Sephiroth, whilst Ultimecia just stood in the corner acting the loner.

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Kefka is more likely to laugh at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: I was to use Meteor to be a god and so I brought the Black Materia to myself at Northern Crater, summoned it and then made a big barrier around it while I prevented the Planet from stopping Meteor. And...

Kefka: Yada-yada-yada. So you wanted to be a god? I was one. I had a giant tower made out of random crap and enjoyed leisurely vaporizing towns. You had a big hole in the ground and a big rock...and both of it did crap.

Kefka would kill Sephiroth while laughing. And the true FF fans rejoice.

Sorry, but Sephiroth would not go away. Using some dark power of his, he'll just return like Seymour... the lifestream will just repeat and bring him back just like Rufus Shina said. And the big rock Sephiroth was with in the Northern Cave was a cage for Holy... besides...If Kefka was truly a 'god' then he wouldn't have been defeated... Sephiroth was partually mortal so he just come back over and over like the Energizer bunny getting shot in the head with a shot gun...just keeps going and going.

I also don't see Kefka in Kingdom Hearts 1 or 2 as an optonal boss

Sephiroth: Fuwhahahahahaha!

Kuja: What are you laughing about?

Sephiroth: Fuwhahahahaha!! I am laughing at you and Seymour 'cause you were fools to think that you cold even rule.

Seymour: What's that? Grrrrrr!!!!!

Sephiroth: And Seymour, what was your deal? To actually think you could control Sin? Fuwhahahahaha!!

Seymour pops his knuckels and rushes at Sephiroth. Sephiroth disappears before Seymour could touch him.

Seymour: That's right, run away...

Seymour stops to see hundreds of Sephiroth clones circleing around him.

Seymour:*gulp* uh... sorry, I didn't me-...

Sephiroth cuts Seymour from the stomach.

Kuja: Ummmm...Judge, you got anythingto say?

Judge: Nope!

Seymour returns before Yu Yevon arrives.
Yu Yevon controls Bahamut and attacks Sephiroth

Will Judge, Seymour, and Kuja be the survivors? Will Sephiroth or Yu Yevon be victoirous? Find out tomorrow on the same chat site, same chat thread. The battle concluded till tomorrow...

Again. Do not post more than once in a row. ~ Leeza

[The Crystal]

Sorry, but Sephiroth would not go away. Using some dark power of his, he'll just return like Seymour... the lifestream will just repeat and bring him back.

With Aerith in the Lifestream purifying all the Jenova cells, i doubt it. And don't argue with Forsaken Lover about Sephiroth, is useless.


SPOILERS TO FFVIA, IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY YET, DON'T READ IT.

Sephiroth: Tell me Ghestal, why you give the position of General to a moron like Kefka?

Kefka: Shut up Sephiroth! Your son of a submariner!!

Sephiroth: Son of a Sandworm you mean.

Kefka: What?

Sephiroth: No one told you? "Son of a submariner" was retconned. You lost one of your most famous lines, Ha ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: Shut up bi**h! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!

Sephiroth: Not anymore.

Kefka: What!? Don't tell me that...

Sephiroth: Yes, that was retconned too.

Kefka: Grrrr, look who is talking! Your retarded Compilation is full of retconns too!!

Sephiroth: A retconn where i decided my own destiny by jumping in the Lifestream, and a retconn where i laugh in the Lifestream before disapearing, and coming back two years later. My retconns only made me more badass than before. Your retconns proved how a moron you are, Ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: You fool! I became a god! A god!!

Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.

Kefka: My name is Kefka your moron!

Sephiroth: To the retarded members of your cult, your name now is Cefka.

Kefka: What?! Grrrr, Retconns, retconns! I hate hate hate hate retconns!

Sephiroth: Oh no, you don't "hate hate hate" anything anymore because...

Kefka: Shut up!

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Sorry, but Sephiroth would not go away. Using some dark power of his, he'll just return like Seymour... the lifestream will just repeat and bring him back.

With Aerith in the Lifestream purifying all the Jenova cells, i doubt it. And don't argue with Forsaken Lover about Sephiroth, is useless.

Sephiroth: A retconn where i decided my own destiny by jumping in the Lifestream, and a retconn where i laugh in the Lifestream before disapearing, and coming back two years later. My retconns only made me more badass than before. Your retconns proved how a moron you are, Ha ha ha ha!

Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.


Funny and true...lol
But that part with Aerith in the lifesteam thing well, she didn't stop Geostigma from appearing in the first place or the three silver haired brothers from appearing out of the lifestream for second...

Last time:

Sephiroth: Fuwhahahahahaha!

Kuja: What are you laughing about?

Sephiroth: Fuwhahahahaha!! I am laughing at you and Seymour 'cause you were fools to think that you cold even rule.

Seymour: What's that? Grrrrrr!!!!!

Sephiroth: And Seymour, what was your deal? To actually think you could control Sin? Fuwhahahahaha!!

Seymour pops his knuckels and rushes at Sephiroth. Sephiroth disappears before Seymour could touch him.

Seymour: That's right, run away...

Seymour stops to see hundreds of Sephiroth clones circleing around him.

Seymour:*gulp* uh... sorry, I didn't me-...

Sephiroth cuts Seymour from the stomach.

Kuja: Ummmm...Judge, you got anythingto say?

Judge: Nope!

Seymour returns before Yu Yevon arrives.
Yu Yevon controls Bahamut and attacks Sephiroth

Will Judge, Seymour, and Kuja be the survivors? Will Sephiroth or Yu Yevon be victoirous? Find out tomorrow on the same chat site, same chat thread. The battle concluded till tomorrow...

Sephiroth: You foolish moronic small tick thing... do you really think you can win?

Yu Yevon: ....

Sephiroth: I see your speachless to see me... fuwahahahahaha!

Yu Yevon: ....

Sephiroth:Heartless Angel

Yu Yevon gets hit...down to 1 HP and 1 MP.
Sephiroth cut Bahamut releasing Yu Yevon.

Yu Yevon: ...?

Sephiroth: Fool I have the most oblivionic power ever... no one can kill...

Kuja leads Cloud to Sephiroth and allows him to sneak up on Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: So, even Kuja is a traitor... I'll deal with all of you here and now... SUPER NOVA!

Meteor destroys Uranus (not Pluto because Pluto is no longer a Planet), goes through Jupiters rings (again), goes through Saturn and destroys it (yet again) causing Earth to get off balance and move directly in the way of the Meteor but by sudden chance Luna (our moon) redirects it back at the sun and hit it. Thus causing the Super Nova Effect thrice (3rd time) again and then before the sun hits Venus... some thing goes wrong... terribly wrong... it by passed super nova and makes black hole almost immediatly then sucking up all the rest of the planets and causing umlimited pressure, heat, e.t.c. but Sephiroth made it out on one of Mars' moon to the next planet to inffect.
The end!



(What you wanted more? well I guess I could change something...)
Just before Sephiroth left Earth, every one got on a Space Ship made by Cid some years earlier and began to follow Sephiroth. To be continued...


I think Seymour would get on well with Sephiroth, whilst Ultimecia just stood in the corner acting the loner.

Well, they do just keep coming back, that parts true...but Sephiroth in his right mind would find a way to absorb Seymour and become one with the planet with infor mation form Seymour..heck... even be able to summon Sin and make it destroy the world and itself then aborsbing the energy left behind.


Sephiroth: I have to prove that I'm really a man! Ultemacia! You're a woman are you not?

Ultemacia looks down at her nearly exposed cleavage. Looks back at Sephiroth who is still waiting for an answer.

Ultemacia: Last I checked.

Sephiroth: I need to sleep with you to prove to everyone I am a MAN.

Ultemacia stares at him blankly...

Ultemacia: But that would shatter my wonderful illusion of you and Clou..

Sephiroth: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!!

E. Palamecian: Kuja? Who does your make-up? It's to die for!

Seymore: Truly. The foundation is so seemless and natural. Not to mention your lushious eyelashes.

Kuja: I do my own make-up. I don't believe in doing anything unless I do it for myself. Besides, you save money that way.

Seymore: Beautiful and practical. Truly rare qualities in a man.

Kuja: I'm not gay.

Seymore: I never said you were, but if you were would you...

Kuja: No.

Zeromous: HATE!

Neo X-Death: DEATH!

Kefka: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Zeromous: HAAATE!!!

Neo X-Death: DEEEAAAAATH!!!

Kefka: MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Zeromous: HHHHAAAAAAATTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!

Neo X-Death: DDDDDDEEEEAAAATTTTTTHHHHHH!!!!

Kefka: MMMMWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Chaos: ALRIGHT! WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP NOW!!!! We get it, you hate everything, you only think about death, and you laugh manaically. Please for the love of god! Shut up and let us all drink in peace...

Zeromous: Well you didn't have to be so mean about it.

Neo X-Death: Yeah, we were only having a conversation.

Kefka: Who made you the conversation nazi anyway?

Chaos summons the four fiends.

Chaos: I think it's time we take you down old school style...

Sounds of an epic battle plays in the background.

Seymore: So you wouldn't?

Kuja: No.

Seymore: Not even if I...

Kuja: No. I won't do your makeup. Unless...

Seymore: What?

Kuja: You get rid of that stupid haircut.

Seymore: I can't... It's the source of my power!

Kuja: Really?

Ultemacia: Hey guys. What are you talking about?

E. Palamecia: Hair and make-up. Seymore wants Kuja to do his makeup but Kuja won't unless he cuts his hair...

Ultemacia: I can do it for you.

Seymore: Good heavens no! Your make-up makes you look like a prostitute...

Ultemacia: HOW DARE YOU!!! I put a lot of effort into my looks and to be looked down on by someone with your hair...

Kefka lands in the middle of the group. He laughs maniacally and returns to the battle.

E. Palamecia: At least we all don't look like that...

Everyone: Damn straight...

E. Palamecia: Hey, what happened to Sephiroth?

Ultemacia: I told him to meet me in the janitor's closet so we can do the "dirty deed" and restore his faith in his denial. I turned off the lights and locked the door then left him there to rot.

Sephiroth: (singing) "One is the loneliest number that there ever was..."

Sephiroth could just slash his way out...or he could even disappear like he did in the Ancient Temple after he says his plan.

Edit: Remember, don't post multiple times in a row. Use the Edit button to add information to a just previously made post. You've already been told this once in this thread. ~ Zeromus

This was an accident...

[Wolf Kanno]

Sephiroth could just slash his way out...or he could even disappear like he did in the Ancient Temple after he says his plan.

Read the rest of my posts;)

To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't been flamed or banned because of my posts...

[Forsaken Lover]

With Aerith in the Lifestream purifying all the Jenova cells, i doubt it. And don't argue with Forsaken Lover about Sephiroth, is useless.


SPOILERS TO FFVIA, IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY YET, DON'T READ IT.

Sephiroth: Tell me Ghestal, why you give the position of General to a moron like Kefka?

Kefka: Shut up Sephiroth! Your son of a submariner!!

Sephiroth: Son of a Sandworm you mean.

Kefka: What?

Sephiroth: No one told you? "Son of a submariner" was retconned. You lost one of your most famous lines, Ha ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: Shut up bi**h! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!

Sephiroth: Not anymore.

Kefka: What!? Don't tell me that...

Sephiroth: Yes, that was retconned too.

Kefka: Grrrr, look who is talking! Your retarded Compilation is full of retconns too!!

Sephiroth: A retconn where i decided my own destiny by jumping in the Lifestream, and a retconn where i laugh in the Lifestream before disapearing, and coming back two years later. My retconns only made me more badass than before. Your retconns proved how a moron you are, Ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: You fool! I became a god! A god!!

Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.

Kefka: My name is Kefka your moron!

Sephiroth: To the retarded members of your cult, your name now is Cefka.

Kefka: What?! Grrrr, Retconns, retconns! I hate hate hate hate retconns!

Sephiroth: Oh no, you don't "hate hate hate" anything anymore because...

Kefka: Shut up!


How is all that a retcon? Isn't it just another version of FFVI?

It's like saying TwiN Snakes retconned MGS1.


Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.

Kefka: Sorry, Seph. Being a god is actually about doing things like making the World of Ruin and casually vaporizing cities. Making some clouds in the sky is not godhood... It makes you weaker than Storm from the X-Men.

Hell, Captain Planet could kick your ass! HAHAHAHAHAHA! *Light of Judgments Sephiroth's pathetic would-be god's ass*

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

With Aerith in the Lifestream purifying all the Jenova cells, i doubt it. And don't argue with Forsaken Lover about Sephiroth, is useless.


SPOILERS TO FFVIA, IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY YET, DON'T READ IT.

Sephiroth: Tell me Ghestal, why you give the position of General to a moron like Kefka?

Kefka: Shut up Sephiroth! Your son of a submariner!!

Sephiroth: Son of a Sandworm you mean.

Kefka: What?

Sephiroth: No one told you? "Son of a submariner" was retconned. You lost one of your most famous lines, Ha ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: Shut up bi**h! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!

Sephiroth: Not anymore.

Kefka: What!? Don't tell me that...

Sephiroth: Yes, that was retconned too.

Kefka: Grrrr, look who is talking! Your retarded Compilation is full of retconns too!!

Sephiroth: A retconn where i decided my own destiny by jumping in the Lifestream, and a retconn where i laugh in the Lifestream before disapearing, and coming back two years later. My retconns only made me more badass than before. Your retconns proved how a moron you are, Ha ha ha ha!

Kefka: You fool! I became a god! A god!!

Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.

Kefka: My name is Kefka your moron!

Sephiroth: To the retarded members of your cult, your name now is Cefka.

Kefka: What?! Grrrr, Retconns, retconns! I hate hate hate hate retconns!

Sephiroth: Oh no, you don't "hate hate hate" anything anymore because...

Kefka: Shut up!


How is all that a retcon? Isn't it just another version of FFVI?

It's like saying TwiN Snakes retconned MGS1.


Sephiroth: And i surpassed death, coming back three diferent times, was corrupting and gaining controll over the Lifestream, and was even capable of creating life with my will and the the power of the Tainted Lifestream. This is being a god, Cefka.

Kefka: Sorry, Seph. Being a god is actually about doing things like making the World of Ruin and casually vaporizing cities. Making some clouds in the sky is not godhood... It makes you weaker than Storm from the X-Men.

Hell, Captain Planet could kick your ass! HAHAHAHAHAHA! *Light of Judgments Sephiroth's pathetic would-be god's ass*

Actually wrong about that being a god...a god is absolute...like never going away like Sephiroth... an evil god yes would do that...and he brought pure geostigma from the 'clouds' thus he did cause 'world ruin' plus the meteor thing also caused 'world ruin'. He did cause the end of Midgar and causing 'clouds' at your will for them to appear is just as good.
and it's a retcon because it changes even one single thing of the game...

[Wolf Kanno]

The dining establishment is in shambles... Several of the villains are being taken to a hospital while the rest remain and clean up the wreckage...

E. Palamecian: A CHOCOBO?!

Golbez: Yes, a chocobo destroyed this place and beat Kefka, Sephiroth, and Gilgamesh.

E. Palamecian: How? I was knocked out, give me the details at once!

Golbez: Well you see...

FLASHBACK (doo doo doo doo)

Gilgamesh: All right you two fashion freaks! It's time for me to finish this! SIX BLADES OF CHAOS!!!

Kefka: No way I'm going to be taken down by this sorry excuse for a villain! LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT!!!

Sephiroth: For once, I'm in agreement with you Kefka. METEOR!!!

Kefka and Gilgamesh's attacks collide and cancel each other out. Sephiroth is looking up in the sky. The two look at him. Meanwhile a chocobo wanders into the restaurant through one of the holes in the wall and begins to eat the food littered on the floor.

Sephiroth: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! In one week's time you'll be completely eradicated by my meteor!

Kefka and Gilgamesh: A week?....

Sephiroth: Yes, a week!

Kefka: A WEEK?! What kinda've lousy uber-god attack takes a week to completely be employed!

Sephiroth: Mine.

Kefka: Oh I am SO kicking your ass NOW!

Kefka walks over to Sephiroth but is blocked by the chocobo who wanders into his path to eat more scraps.

Kefka: Get out of my way!

Kefka kicks the chocobo out of the way and begins to get into a fist fight with Sephiroth. Gilgamesh watches as the yellow bird suddenly flashes gold...

Chocobo: WAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Everyone stops in their tracks as a maasive swirl of energy eminates from the golden chocobo. Suddenly, massive swarms of meteors begin to appear in the distant. It's apparent they are coming straight for them...

Gilgamesh: Oh smurf...

Kefka: See! That's how you summon meteors to strike down your enemies.

Sephiroth: Meh. Mine's bigger.

A bright flash and several rescue workers later...

END FLASHBACK! (dooo dooo dooo doo)

Golbez: ...and that's what happened.

E. Palamecia: But what of the three rogues?

Golbez points to the other side of the burning wreckage to see the three of them helping in the clean up.

Kefka: A chocobo? Beat me? I 'll never be able to live this down...

Sephiroth: Well, they were the nastiest creatures to fight in Final Fantasy Tactics. I don't really mind, after this I'm going to track down Cloud and do this and ...

Gilgamesh: It's sad what fangirls have done to him...

Kefka: Tell me about it. My fans keep insisting that I'm like the crazy of the crazys. For once, I would like to just sit home and pet a kitten. Maybe watch the weather channel...

Gilgamesh: Really?

Kefka: Really...

Gilgamesh: You know what we should do? We should crash the heroes' dinner party that's being held across town. Who's with me?!

Everyone: Yeah!

The End...

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

The dining establishment is in shambles... Several of the villains are being taken to a hospital while the rest remain and clean up the wreckage...

E. Palamecian: A CHOCOBO?!

Golbez: Yes, a chocobo destroyed this place and beat Kefka, Sephiroth, and Gilgamesh.

E. Palamecian: How? I was knocked out, give me the details at once!

Golbez: Well you see...

FLASHBACK (doo doo doo doo)

Gilgamesh: All right you two fashion freaks! It's time for me to finish this! SIX BLADES OF CHAOS!!!

Kefka: No way I'm going to be taken down by this sorry excuse for a villain! LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT!!!

Sephiroth: For once, I'm in agreement with you Kefka. METEOR!!!

Kefka and Gilgamesh's attacks collide and cancel each other out. Sephiroth is looking up in the sky. The two look at him. Meanwhile a chocobo wanders into the restaurant through one of the holes in the wall and begins to eat the food littered on the floor.

Sephiroth: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! In one week's time you'll be completely eradicated by my meteor!

Kefka and Gilgamesh: A week?....

Sephiroth: Yes, a week!

Kefka: A WEEK?! What kinda've lousy uber-god attack takes a week to completely be employed!

Sephiroth: Mine.

Kefka: Oh I am SO kicking your ass NOW!

Kefka walks over to Sephiroth but is blocked by the chocobo who wanders into his path to eat more scraps.

Kefka: Get out of my way!

Kefka kicks the chocobo out of the way and begins to get into a fist fight with Sephiroth. Gilgamesh watches as the yellow bird suddenly flashes gold...

Chocobo: WAAAAARRRRRRRKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Everyone stops in their tracks as a maasive swirl of energy eminates from the golden chocobo. Suddenly, massive swarms of meteors begin to appear in the distant. It's apparent they are coming straight for them...

Gilgamesh: Oh smurf...

Kefka: See! That's how you summon meteors to strike down your enemies.

Sephiroth: Meh. Mine's bigger.

A bright flash and several rescue workers later...

END FLASHBACK! (dooo dooo dooo doo)

Golbez: ...and that's what happened.

E. Palamecia: But what of the three rogues?

Golbez points to the other side of the burning wreckage to see the three of them helping in the clean up.

Kefka: A chocobo? Beat me? I 'll never be able to live this down...

Sephiroth: Well, they were the nastiest creatures to fight in Final Fantasy Tactics. I don't really mind, after this I'm going to track down Cloud and do this and ...

Gilgamesh: It's sad what fangirls have done to him...

Kefka: Tell me about it. My fans keep insisting that I'm like the crazy of the crazys. For once, I would like to just sit home and pet a kitten. Maybe watch the weather channel...

Gilgamesh: Really?

Kefka: Really...

Gilgamesh: You know what we should do? We should crash the heroes' dinner party that's being held across town. Who's with me?!

Everyone: Yeah!

The End...


Well, remember, Sephiroth (or any one actually) can only summon Meteor with the Black Materia. The story is kinda good...but what happened with Meteor..it's still to fall since Holy wasn't summoned....ahhhhh...no..Sephiroth will win...noooooo!!!! It's too easy.... Oh, and Sephiroth uses his sword....remember that...unless your against One Winged Angel...ahhhhhh!!!!!! Overkill!!!

[Renmiri]

Choco meteor FTW!!!

[The Crystal]

Sephiroth is looking up in the sky. The two look at him. Meanwhile a chocobo wanders into the restaurant through one of the holes in the wall and begins to eat the food littered on the floor.

Sephiroth: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! In one week's time you'll be completely eradicated by my meteor!

Kefka and Gilgamesh: A week?....

Sephiroth: Yes, a week!

Kefka: A WEEK?! What kinda've lousy uber-god attack takes a week to completely be employed!

Sephiroth: Mine.

Kefka: Oh I am SO kicking your ass NOW!

LOL
I loved this! You are so funny Wolf Kanno, you allways make me laugh! :D

I want more. :(

[Wolf Kanno]

I'm thinking of writing a few things in the "Hero's get together" thread... I might let our party of villains crash the party. At which point I'll deal with Meteor (It is still coming...;) )


Glad you all enjoyed it.

[Ashley Schovitz]

Ultimecia's lame because we never knew what she absolutely wanted or what was driving her. Or her personality either. Sight. Hey that Kuja and Seymour make-up conversation was a hella funny!

[The Crystal]

Ultimecia's lame because we never knew what she absolutely wanted

Yes we know. If you use Scan in her final form, you will see what she really want.


Or her personality either.

We know her personality. Please read this:

http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=101677

[Christmas]

They will raise awareness about most of the FF villians' chest are mostly partially exposed. :bigsmile:

Kefka, Sephiroth, Ultimecia/Edea, Kuja, Jecht/Yu Yevon.