Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

[jammi567]

i've seen it on the final fantasy vii forum, but not here, so here it is:

why does Kuja wear a thong?

[Twilight Edge]

Because he's a trans mon.

What has Bahamut got to do with a Garnet?

[jammi567]

He's her pet dragon

why does Zidane have a tail?

[thehodgepodge37]

Zidane sewed it on himself because he thinks it's macho sexy.

What doe's Vivi's face look like under his hat?

[f f freak]

A chocobo's butt.

Why does Garnet wear orange spandex?

[jammi567]

she thinks it makes her look sexy.

What goes on in Steiners head?

[ScottNUMBERS]

"She looks sexy in that orange spandex."

Why oh why when the Fat Chocobo plays his Fat Chocobo Card (about every 50 freakin' games) does he play it last so that I can't win it from him?

[jammi567]

because you're not a chocobo, so he's being a :skull::skull::skull::skull:head.

Why is there someone called Cid?

[senecawolf]

people have trouble naming their kids.

Why does Eiko have wings?

[jammi567]

Because she's actually a moogle in disguise

Why does a castle have wings?

[arcanedude34]

Because its actually Eiko in disquise.

Why does everyone in FFIX resemble some kind of animal?

[No.78]

They don't O.o

Why does Amarants fringe start below his eyes?

[jammi567]

Because he's a chav.

why does Beatrix love Steiner?

[Albel]

Because he looks and s**gs like her dad.

Why does the queen look like a big fat whale?

[jammi567]

because she is one.

what's up with Necron?

[arcanedude34]

Yes.

Why does Black Waltz III get weaker when you beat him the first time?

[Twilight Edge]

Brain damage.

Why does Black Waltz I use a bell as a weapon?

[jammi567]

Because he's a former ringer...

who fancies Vivi?

[Mercen-X]

Black Waltz No. 1 . . . and No. 2 . . . and No. 188.

Why does Amaranth love Zidane?

[jammi567]

because that tail can get into soooo many places...

Why is Kuja considered a woman by some?

[crayzee gamr]

he wears covergirl.
why are zorn and thorn always with eachother?

[thegirth]

(yay im inspiration X3)

they are really the same entity and were they to seperate they would spontaniously combust


what is queen brahine

[Twilight Edge]

A hybrid between a blue whale and an elephant mon.

Why are thief swords bigger than Cloud's sword?

[jammi567]

Because they had tobeat a record somewhere.

How do i get the Invincible early?

[arcanedude34]

If you use Zidane to kill Garnet in the second Black Waltz battle and use a pheonix down on Vivi, then Steiner should pull a ninja deathstar out of his ass and throw it at the Black Waltz II. He then becomes ultra powerful and if you can beat him then you get an item called Momira Nectar. Use it on Garnet. It brings her MP up to 999.

Cast all the summons she has at the Black Waltz III (second battle). Kill Blank in a random battle afterwards and talk to the woman outside Queen Stellazio's place. She will trade his corpse for an item called the Aiden Card.

Start a new game and all your characters should start out with Invincible.

How old is Quina?

[jammi567]

:D

Too old

What's the difference between the clown from 'IT' and Thorn and Zorn?

[Mercen-X]

IT was kinda funny.

How do you spell meltigemini?

[jammi567]

exactly as it's said.

How do i find Excaliber II?

[Twilight Edge]

Carve 'II' on Excalibur.

How do you forge Ragnarok into an airship?

[Quindiana Jones]

Tie Eiko to the back.

Why is the Ragtime Mouse even there?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because...they needed more entertainment in the game, so there.

How can you get Eiko's wings to disappear?

[jammi567]

By either repeating her continusly.

I want Kuja in my party!

[crayzee gamr]

You just have to ask him! :D

Why does Garland have a glowing orb thingy in him?

[loza]

Because he's horny

why does ekio have no panties?

[Quindiana Jones]

Easier entrance for Mog.

Why is it always raining in Burmecia?

[Kanshisha]

Because Garnet has her period.
why does zidane wear crppy boots not high heels?

[Twilight Edge]

Becasue he's too straight to wear it.

Why do Burmecians wear no shoes?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

They don't believe in footwear or any concealing of the feet.

What was so special about the Cleyran Tree?

[jammi567]

It was about to be used as the first fast food resauant

what's memoria?

[crayzee gamr]

It's the place where Drrrreeeeaaammms are made!:D

Why is stiltzkin traveling?

[Twilight Edge]

Because he's just......that vagabond!

Why does Tiamat have three heads when in reality it has five? Can't SE simply put two more heads on him/them?

[Gabranth]

because it's a FANTASY, not REALITY, and even then, there is no tiamat in reality.



who would win in a fight: FF zidane or french soccer player zidane?

[mooglebunni608]

Because they cannot count or do math.

Why did Zidane say 'oooh, soft' after grabbing daggers bum?

[jammi567]

Because he's actually feeling Andrex toilet paper

who ould win between Eiko and Dagger?

[Krzych]

Beatrix

How can I have Brahne in my party?

[jammi567]

By killing off all your party members so that she has room to fit in.

Who's Garland?

[Mavander]

He's a love machine, created by Terrans, but then he deciced to destroy and ressurect all of them so they can be his love machines.

Why Steiner always is nice to Vivi?

[jammi567]

Because he's secretly gay

why does Eiko fancy Zidane?

[Gabranth]

she has zidane's tail and penis mixed up, that's why.




how come the ragtime mouse only shows up in forests?

[arcanedude34]

He has a fetish for trees.

Why is there only one ridable chocobo in the whole game?

[Mavander]

He's a murder-chocobo, who wiped out, eated and removed them from the body in a sh*t form.

What is Brahne special combat ability?

[Quindiana Jones]

Eat.

Seriously, what is Brahne's special combat ability?

[Sain Cai]

Flatulance, acquired after Eat

Why is Steiners mouth bigger then his sword?

[KazexLisa]

because he has a small sword

why is Garland real old?

[Mavander]

Garland rape everyone who asks for his age...

How can I make Vivi a real boy?

[KazexLisa]

find a fairy

Why is Cloud's sword in the Lindblum shop?

[jammi567]

because the wepon shop owner really like him....

why does Zidane have a tail?

[KazexLisa]

take make up for the lack of *other* appendiges
.....

why is Omza a sphere?

[Twilight Edge]

Because he was a marble ball in his past life.

Why is Ozma so colorful?

[Fatal Impurity]

Powerballs are MADE that way!

how does quina reproduce?

[Mavander]

She's making eggs in the body of the prey with her tongue. After about month, the eggs hatch, and little Quinas eat out the prey. After there's no leftovers of it, they eat themself, until one remains. If it still has a tail, it eats it off.

Why does Eiko have a horn?

[Quindiana Jones]

She likes Zidane. :jokey:

What happened to Beatrix's eye?

[arcanedude34]

It ran away.

Is Kuja gay?

[crayzee gamr]

No, he was hoping for a part in "Rocky Horror Picture Show":tongue:

Why does steiner wear eyeliner?

[Fatal Impurity]

he's an emo

how does steiner go the loo in his armour?

[arcanedude34]

Trap doors.

What color is Steiner's hair?

[Mavander]

Rainbow.

Why Sir Fratley forgot everything?

[Fatal Impurity]

because of Darren Brown of course!

Whats is the point of Ozma to FF9's story?

[Twilight Edge]

To complete the circle.

Why is Ultima Weapon transparent?

[Fatal Impurity]

because he isnt a very good actor

why the hell did square decide to use a peridot instead of another stone in the game?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because they wanted to use one of the most unknown stones known to the majority of the world just to make it sound cool.

Why do you think Square made you split up your party to face the 4 shrine keepers?

[Mavander]

To give you a heart attack, because you stick with Quina.

Why Madain Sari was created?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

So it could be destroyed by a gigantic eye.

How can you get Zidane's tail to go away?

[Fatal Impurity]

chop it off! *_*

why is zidane so horny?

[Mavander]

He's a monkey AND was created by Garland.

Why is Tantarian hiding in a book?

[crayzee gamr]

All the other hiding places were taken.

Why do people hate oglops?

[Firenjar]

cause they voted George Bush

will Kuja choose Vivi or Zidane to ahem do stuff with?

[jammi567]

Zidane, because that tail can go places no mage could

if Brahne is a whale, what's Dagger?

[Twilight Edge]

A dagger.

If Dagger's a buckin' bronco, what's Steiner?

[Firenjar]

gay

will Zidane rape Eiko if Dagger rejects him?

[jammi567]

Yes, if he wants to have a lifetime sentence of with Brahne

would Vivi ever kill for sex?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

No because he actually has a set of morals. (lets get off the sexual questions please.)

What do you think Steiner is hiding underneath all that armor?

[jammi567]

a very deep and very dark secret...

how does Zidane know Cloud?

[Mavander]

...that tail can go in SO many places.

Why Zidane uses 2 daggers and not 3?

[Firenjar]

he has 3 you just cant see what hes holding the third with

was Amarant born witht that hair?

[jammi567]

Yes, because his head was on fire, but his parents froze it into place.

who does Dagger love?

[crayzee gamr]

Quina of course.:p

why does amarant have large forarms?

[Gabranth]

haha... he chops the morning wood, and not just in the morning.


is kuja a metrosexual clown?

[jammi567]

yes, and gets it onwith Kefka

how can Libum castle get so big?

[arcanedude34]

It works out.

Why is Vivi so short compared to the other Black Mages if he's the older one?

[Mavander]

Kuja runned a compression test on him.

How can I get Quina's ultimate Blue 'Bitch Slap'? (I'm expecting a LONG explanaiton)

[Mercen-X]

Squish a dog and use it as a paddle.

How do you spell inimegitlem?

[arcanedude34]

Easier than Worcestershire or whatever the hell it is. >_<

Is Garnet hot or what?

[cloud_doll]

no.

What's a canary?

[arcanedude34]

A bird. Duh.

Does Ozma ever get lonely.

[Mavander]

She was lonely for the first 1000 years, but then she turned crazy and started thinking that each color on her is a person, so, no, she's not lonely. Anymore.

Why does Amarant uses claws?

[Firenjar]

there not claws he never cuts his nails

is Necron depressed or just mean?

[Mavander]

Both.

Kweh?

[jammi567]

Wark!!!!!

Moogles or chocobos?

[Gabranth]

chocobos during the week, moogles on fridays and saturdays, quina on sundays.



is quina on any hallucinogens?

[Mavander]

Yes. Remember that mushroom in Cleyra?

Is Freya really a girl?

[jammi567]

No, because he had a sex change

How did Ozma maage to become a ball?

[Mavander]

Kuja's compression test.

Kupo?

[Firenjar]

KUPO!!!!!!!!!!!

(biggest ff ix question of all time)is Quina a boy or girl?!!!!

[arcanedude34]

Yes

Kweh?

[Mavander]

K-KWEHHH!

How does the chocobos find the chocographs?

[crayzee gamr]

They actually already know where thye are they just want ur money and waste ur time.

why is steiner's armor rusty?

[arcanedude34]

Cuz he always forgets to take it off before he goes swimming.

Does Quina's long tongue make him any more.... fun in bed?

[jammi567]

Yes, especially in co-operation with Zidane's tail

what creature is it?

[Mavander]

What is Brahne's mother?

How can I get Brahne to trance?

[arcanedude34]

Tell her she's fat/ugly/blue and she'll get pissed and go into Trance.

What is Brahne's Trance?

[kahokochan]

super fish fan flab

Why does the mist look grey?

[crayzee gamr]

pollution from airships.

Why is dali named dali?

[Twilight Edge]

It has a windmill.

Which is your favourite coffee?

[arcanedude34]

I'm more of a hot cocoa man myself.

Why is there a FMV just showing Lindblum with absolutely nothing happening except the party arriving?

[Mavander]

Square while making it had still plans to make Lindblum a town of street pleasure.

Where can Zidane's tail go?

[arcanedude34]

..Ok you left absolutely no room for creativity on this question so I'm just going to say the obvious- electrical outlets (^^)

Take mine

[Mavander]

Why is Hades hiding in Memoria?

[Twilight Edge]

He is an old-school freak.

Completed?

[Mercen-X]

Deflated.

Why, for the love of God, Qu's? QU'SSSS

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because it's better than the FU's. XD

When does Dagger change her name back?

[Cookie]

When you start a new game

Is Quina a man or a sheman?

[Twilight Edge]

A she.

Hiw do forks own people in real life?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

When you poke them in the pancreas with it.

Exactly how long does Freya's jump last?

[Mavander]

Until she needs to get to toilet.

What actually are those 'friendly' creatures?

[crayzee gamr]

robots in disguise.

how come there is only one bomb enemy in the game?

[Twilight Edge]

Because the game is medieval.

Why is FFIX medieval?

[Cookie]

It's not

Why are there no evil moogles?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because they are brainwashed when born.

How was the fat chocobo made?

[arcanedude34]

They took a regular Chocobo and made him eat.

Why does Stiltzkin keep raising his prices?

[Twilight Edge]

He's broke.

Why does Slitzkin get broke?

[LoKuS]

Because he doesnt raise his prices enough.

Where does Eiko hold her moogle?

[arcanedude34]

Between her Moomba and Chocobo.

What is up w/ Amarant's hair?

[Cezanzo]

He set himself on fire :eek:

How did fat chocobo get so fat?

[DeStyle]

He feeds on the knowledge of news-readers.

Why did they change the method of saving in part IX.
I'm missing the occasional "Forgot to push the button
once it said it was already saved and just threw 4
hours away" feeling you stumbled on in part VII.

[yOur_final_fantasy]

Because theyre special.

*and ive got another answer to 'whats up w/ amarant's hair'*
He didn't listen to mummy and stuck a fork in the toaster. :D

whats up with Quina's toungue?

[Twilight Edge]

Qus' have their taste sense developed so much they evolved.

Why does Amarant slash people with Kaiser Knuckles equipped?

[Kanshisha]

Because he throws them...
What is the point of the Lifa tree?

[arcanedude34]

They needed somewhere for Brahne to die........

How many Kujas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[Twilight Edge]

One. use Demi to float the bulb and use Aero to screw it up.

Why is Brahne's makeup so thick but still can't cover her ugliness?

[chocobo hunter]

Because she used a ugly potion once.

Whats the real reason the other clones don't have souls?

[arcanedude34]

Garland only bought two. When he went back to get more, the price had jumped up to 999 gil, so he didnt get any.

Does Kuja have a tail?

[Melodies_of_life]

No it's just a deformed hot dog comming out of his butt.

What is Dagger/Garnets true name?

[arcanedude34]

Real answer- Sarah
MY Answer- Your Mom

Why is Ozma multi-colored?

[Dragonface]

He's colour blind.

Where can you find any guns in FFIX?

[qwertysaur]

on the shelf, next to the ugly potions.

Why is vivi so awesome?

[Dragonface]

I don't, he's emo.

How did Cid REALY became a bug?

[Melodies_of_life]

He was sitting in bed looking at a magizne and you were in it.. :D
........ then of course his misstres came in and saw him looking at the pictures and hit him with a pan so hard that he turned into a bug.

Does Quina have a thing for Vivi, Zidane, or Steiner?

[arcanedude34]

No, everyone knows Quina is either a) a straight male or b) a lesbian, so s/he prefers Eiko in bed.

Why is there a sword called the Butterfly?

[Dragonface]

Everytime when Dagger look at that sword...goes like this.
Dagger: Oooooo petty Butterfly

If Zidane dye his HEAD hair black, TAIL hair brown, stop using daggers and start using his hands, who do you think he been playing stunt dbl as?

[Garnie]

i guess.......
why is thier no cat people?

[arcanedude34]

There is, but they're also invisible.

Why are there no gopher people?

[f f freak]

Because if there was they'd gopher it with Garnet (get it? Gopher. Go for)

Why does nobody question the name Dagger? Isn't it like a bit violent?

[arcanedude34]

Not really considering her original name was Date Rape, but as we know, the naming system in FFIX only allows seven characters.

What is Ozma's gender?

[qwertysaur]

the same as Quina's

How could anybody believe that Brane and Dagger are related?

[Garnie]

because of the wonders of plastic surgery

why do we love these threads?

[choco_rider]

becuz every other thread sucks.

how come no one ever uses quina?

[Melodies_of_life]

Because everyone feels sorry for him because he is special

What is Vivi's connection to Quan?

[Garnie]

i...dont...know?

what with da moogles?

[Melodies_of_life]

To eat when they come running.

What would they tast like?

[Ace14]

Like a mango

What would you learn if you ate Quina?

[arcanedude34]

Quina would learn Eat again.

What would happen if you ate Zidane?

[Garnie]

i turn into a :monkey:

why are there no moogles in Memoria?

[Ace14]

Because the weird colorful orbs ate them.

How come you can't save your game with all the moogles in Madin Sari?

[Dragonface]

They're not a member of the 'saving club'.

What happen if Vivi's class is a Red Mage?

[Ace14]

He would turn red.

How come Eiko can't use her wings?

[Dragonface]

They're too small.

Someone take mine.

[Ace14]

What does Quina taste like?

[Melodies_of_life]

He tasts like poopiedooo as somoene told me .....

What would happen if your main characters were the summons (shiva, odin, ect......) and during battle they could summon zidane, vivi, dagger, ect......?

[abrojtm]

The summons would be even less powerful than they are now.

How does eating frogs power up the Gastro Fork?

[No.78]

The answer to that question would take so many years to explain that even if you could listen, stay concentrated and take in that much information you would probably go crazy trying to comprehend and complete the puzzling mystery of... This. So, it's best you don't know really.

Why the hell did Garnet want to call herself Dagger?

[crayzee gamr]

she wanted to be one and was obsessed with them by doing this her dream has almost come true.

why is amarants skin blue in colour?

[Dragonface]

He want to try out being a bilzer by how much long he can hold his breath.

Someone take mine.

[arcanedude34]

Is Hades way too tall, or are the characters just way too small?

[Tishee ♥]

The characters are just way too small.

Does Brahne need liposuction or does necron's chest?

[arcanedude34]

No, but your mom does. Oooooh diss.

Why didn't they revive Sephiroth for this game? And then Aerith so Sephiroth could kill her again?

[Twilight Edge]

Because they don't like to take characters back in time.

Why does Maliris say "It's over......" and still proceeds to make a final attack?

[Melodies_of_life]

Because they don't know what else to say...

Why is it that Garnet never really comes out and tells Zidane that she likes him until the end of the game..?

[arcanedude34]

She doesn't.

Take mine.

[crayzee gamr]

wuts with vivi's weird puffy striped pants?!

[Sefie1999AD]

He's half-Scottish, half-Irish.

Why didn't Quina eat Cid when he was an oglop or a frog?

[The black mage]

it was full

What on earth did Brane's parents look like

[Black_Mage_Hiyasha]

an elephant seal and the esper Cúchulainn

If Alexander is an Eidolon, then why can't you summon him in battle?

[arcanedude34]

He has limited traveling miles so you can only summon him within 45 miles of Alexandria and not on holidays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Sundays, Sundays somedays or other days.

How old is Kuja's dragon's father?