What Final Fantasy characters would say

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Hey, I got this Idea from that one kid who posted it for Kingdom Hearts What Kingdom Hearts Characters would never say. I made a typo..the title should be what FF characters wouldn't(<- the typo) say. The same thing applys but instead of KH...it's FF..Begin!

Cloud:Tifa?
Tifa: Yeah?
Cloud: Can I ask you a question?
Tifa: Didn't you already...but what is it?
Cloud: Why did you get a boob job?
Tifa:... I just wanted to... you know... make Aerith ... you know...uncomfertable....

[Goldenboko]

Cloud: We've got two Chocobos!
Aeris: Let's make a Chocobo baby!
Cloud: Thats inapropriate!

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Cloud: We've got two Chocobos!
Aeris: Let's make a Chocobo baby!
Cloud: Thats inapropriate!

Nice :D You have good humor but anoying to argue with...I know I know so am I...Just like Barret and Cloud arguing kinda?

[Goldenboko]

Cloud: We've got two Chocobos!
Aeris: Let's make a Chocobo baby!
Cloud: Thats inapropriate!

Nice :D You have good humor but anoying to argue with...I know I know so am I...Just like Barret and Cloud arguing kinda?

I actually stole that from Final Fantasy Random Encounters (Newgrounds)

But if you thought that was funny you should read this http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=96468

[Griff]

Squall: *thinking* Man, I'm sick of people talking to me and telling me their stupid problems.
Zell: Hey Squall!
Squall: *thinking* aww crap! *talking* Oh, hey Zell.
Zell: 'Sup! Did you go to the party last night? It was on, chicks were everywhere, and it was cool.
Squall: Well I didn't go so, what happened?
Zell: It was great, 'cept for one really messed up problem.
Squall: What was that?
Zell: Well, Seifer got so drunk, that he started to grab other men's butts. Full, firm grip and all. It was nuts.
Squall: *thinking* I was always wondering why he kept touching my butt... *talking* So, did you get any last night?
Zell: You know it! There were horny chicks everywhere. I really hit that last night.
Squall: Oh, because I heard that you screwed a chocobo last night.
Zell: Wha- Where did you hear that?
Squall: From Irvine.
Zell: That spineless.... I'm gonna kill him!
Squall: So you DID screw a chocobo? Dang man!
Zell: Wha- Bu- Well, I didn't know it was a chocobo until it was over. I thought it was Selphie.
Squall: YOU tried to screw Selphie!
Zell: Ya, Well she's a hottie.
Squall: Yeah, but she's into trains, and she's always high man. Anyways, you couldn't screw Selphie in you dreams.
Zell: We'll see about that. *tries to imagine himself with Selphie, but only brings back images of the chocobo* Dang!
Squall: O........k.
Zell: So what were you doing last night, since you weren't at the party?
Squall: Me? I was training all night. Heh heh
Zell: Training all night? Ahh
Squall: Yup!
(Quistis shows up)
Zell: Oh, Hey Quistis!
Quistis: Hi Zell. Hiiiiii Squall! I enjoyed what we did last night in the training room. I didn't know you were so BIG! Well, see ya.
Squall and Zell: Bye.
Zell: Training huh? You may as well just screw Seifer!
Squall: Hey screw you momma's boy! You screwed a chocobo!
Zell: Ok. We'll make a deal. If you don't tell anyone that I screwed a chocobo, I won't say anything about your little training session. Ok?
Squall: Ok. Deal.
(Seifer walks by and grabs their butts)
Squall: I hope he's still drunk...
Zell: I hope so too. You Gay (censored) Seifer!
Seifer: Oh. Be nice. And I'm not gay.
Squall:*thinking* Why do I get stuck with these freaks?
Zell: Hey Squall, look what I can do! *runs into a wall and knocks himself out*
Squall: Dang!

[Twilight Edge]

Edward: Look, what do you want?
Brass(from megaman): I WANT MY HANDS BACK! AHAHAHAHA!!*fire burns in the background*
Edward: NEVER! A deal’s a deal, even with a dirty dealer!
Brass: Very well, then I’ll take what I want FROM TERRA.
Terra: WHOA!*gets dragged on stage*
Brass: Terra has promised me her HAND.
*crowd gasps*
Terra: Edward you do not understand!
*cue soft music and spotlight*
Terra: I should’ve revealed I’ve been deafened by Yang, the shame, the SHAME. But I feared you stopped writing this musical splendor, deception is the curse of my whimsical gender, he gave me mechanical ears. Effective though just a bit garish, in return without shedding a tear, I agreed that I’d give him my HAND.
Brass: In marriage.
Terra: What?
Brass: You’ll give me your hand IN MARRIAGE.
Gau: Is this really happening, or just be in stage?
Tellah: It can’t be real.
Relm: Now that Terra is encaged.
Terra: That isn’t what I’ve meant, that isn’t what I’ve signed!
Brass: You should’ve checked the wording in my FINE……PRINT.
Terra: I’ll give you my hand……
Brass/Terra: *low sound*In marriage.
Yang: The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention……now, THAT, IS, IRONY.
*Cid(FFIX) gets dragged on stage*
Brass: I will marry her now, and confine her to tell. How drow, how DROW. Where sticks is a river, and not just a man, to the day our reception if all goes as planned, *demonic music*UNLESS EDWARD YOU SURRENDER MY HANDS!
*cue sad music and spotlight*
Edward: Destiny has cheated me, by forcing me to decide upon, the woman that I idolize, or the hands of man I torn upon. Without these hands, I can’t complete the opera that was captivating her. But if I keep them, and she marries him, then he probably won’t…… want me dating her.
*crowd cheers*
Strago: Grughgggg.
Mog: Very well! Encore!
*dramatic music*
Tellah: I can’t believe the devil is so unforgiving.
FuSoYa: I can’t believe everybody’s just that BELIEVING.
Cid(FFIX): BY THE POWERS THIS DELINQUENT IN THE STATES OF WHOLE NEW YORK……
*very dramatic music*
Edward: NOOOOOO!*pushes them apart* STOP! TAKE MY HANDS! YOU EVIL……METAL……DORK!!!!*sob*
Brass: AHAHAHAH!!!
Terra: *gasp*
*slash*

FIN.

[Fatal Impurity]

seifer: hey dude
squall: hey dude
seifer: you know what...i just wanna say im sorry after all that crap i gave you in FF8...
squall: thanks dude that means alot to me...you know what i coulda been abit less of a jackass too im sorry...
seifer: no really it was all my fault
squall: nah it was really all me
seifer: NO it was ME!
squall: no dude i was idiot! get it through your damn skull!
seifer: WHAT!! YOU DONT GET IT I WAS THE ASS!!
squall: thats it puff boy! ive had it with you your going down! IT WAS ME WHO WAS A DICK!
seifer: bring it on!!!
*fighting ensues*
seifer: im sorry man i started the fighting again :(
squall: no worries dude it was really all my fault :(
seifer: you know what dude i never tell you this but i love ya man
squall: i love you too dude
seifer: your the best man! *cries*
squall: im so sorry dude! *cries*
*seifer and squall hug each other*

*rinoa walks along*

rinoa: will you two pussies just GROW UP!

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Cloud: ...f*** this, I'm just gonna kill Sephiroth with that ancient key I found.

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Cloud is going to his final battle with Sephiroth in the Final Battle. Then just as Cloud reaches Sephiroth...
Cloud:Oh, ****! Look at that sword. I faced that thing in the original version before the edits from the creators, and they want me to face it for the third time? @#%$ this, I still have my scars fom the first incounter... forget the Final Battle between me and this...this..I can't take this any more. I don't even know the guys name any more. I think OmniSlash won't do it this time... I think...I think...I'm going to faint!!!

Sephiroth cuts Clouds arm

Cloud: Is that...is that? Blood? *falls on his back on the black ground unconsious*

Sephiroth: hehehehehehe!!! Now that Cloud is no more... I'll take over this body and take Tifa and @#$% her long... fuwahahah..huh?

Cloud wakes up and takes his sword and rushes Sephiroth.

Cloud: Oh no you did not... Tifa is mine... Die you son of a human with the cells of an alien and the son of a freakin phychoooooooo......

Cloud uses Omnislash for the 15 hits.....but Cloud continues the assult for 100 slashes then worn down.....

Sehpiroth: Agggggggg....nooooo!!! I really wanted to @#$% Tifa! Oh well... I'll be back in Advent Children and have Loz @#$% her then.....

Cloud: Oh, no you don't. My lawyer will sew you if you do or if any of your sons @#$% either. Besides... Marlene will throw a stupid Materia at him before he does.

Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Stupid Square Enix... you did me in for a big one... I hate.....

Sephiroth dies before he can complete his sentance and the Sequence continuse as it would originally.

Cloud wakes up... and sees Tifa

Tifa: What is it Cloud?

Cloud: I had the worse...

Cloud says before stopping in midsentence.
Sephiroth walks in the Hotel room of Niemble that was 2 years before the game began (Cloud's dream).

Sephiroth: Yes, Cloud. What is it? *while looking at Tifa's @$$.*

[Sidderz]

Yuna: Aeons..Spira..Sin...The Calm again....meh fook it.

[Goldenboko]

Tidus: I love you daddy!

[Sidderz]

Lulu: TIDUS IS MY CHAPPU!!!

[Dagga]

Blank: I can't believe Zidane got the princess! I mean what the fook is the world coming to?
Marcus: Well there's war... Iraq I suppose...
Blank: That's not what I meant! I meant the real randomess of it all!
Marcus: Oh. I must have mis-read my script...

*Blank hits his forehead and sighs*
Blank: Look let's just forget it...

[thegirth]

awesome futurama referance

[Remedy]

Auron: We Move at once !
Tidus : yeeeah Yeeeah .. whatever..
Yuna : umm.. ok
Rikku : heh heh heh heh
Kimahri : !
Lulu : heh heh ? what is girl?
Rikku : heh heh heh
Wakka : al Behd ppl afraid of thunder ya?
Yuna : Sir Auron can we stay for a while?
Auron : time runs .. let's move
Rikku : Yune .. please tell him to let us stay tonight.. pleeease
( thunder smaked )
Rikku : yayk! enough already !

[Dagga]

Laguna: You know I 'm really just 3 years older then you.
Squall: I know...
Laguna: I am cool! Y'know "hip" like you guys
Squall: eh?
Selphie: GROUP HUG!!!!
Squall: Yay!!!!

[Aerisfanatic]

cloud: tifa... i love you

THATS SOMETHING CLOUD WOULD NEVER SAY

HERE IS SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE HIM TO SAY

cloud:tifa im leaving you

tifa: what! but we havent even started yet

cloud: yes but aeris needs me i love her you have to understand

aeris: common cloud we will be late for the wedding

tifa: thats it no more blondes!

[Aerisfanatic]

Cloud: Tifa, Aeris, Ive made my decision, Im going to marry you both!
Tifa and Aeris: WHAT!?!?
Cloud: Aeris will be my wife and Tifa will be my concubine.
Tifa: GRRRRRRRR
Aeris: (Faints)

[LunarWeaver]

Gau: I'm useful.

[FF_Chick]

Edgar: I hate women.

[jammi567]

Zell: i love women

Kimahri: Ladies and Gentlemen, please sit down and enjoy the meal *straightens out tuxeo*

SquareSoft (in IV, there's a secret room where they can be found, so technically, they count): Rinoa actually is Ultimecia. We made up the Ultimecia guides to exploit you even further!

[Dragonface]

~ Heroes from Final Fantasy I ~


Fighter: I like swords.
Black Mage: Shut up Fighter!
Fighter: At lest I'm not look under White Mage's robes.
White Mage: WHAT?!? *Shes start whacking Black Mage with her Hammer*
Theif: Dudes look what I got.*waving a black bra*
WM: THATS MINE! *Whacking Theif as well*
Fighter: Ummm...OH A NEW SWORD! I like new swords.
Red Mage: Dude! Thats mine sword your looking at.
Black Belt: I'll never get to learn magic *crying*
RM: Yet I'm the jack-of-all-trade...