View Full Version : What if...#1

Citizen Bleys
10-11-2001, 03:33 PM
Over the next little while, I'm going to post some odd little "What if" scenarios dealing with members of EoFF. I'll provide an intro, and the rest of ya can make it into an interactive story. One little twist, though: Your post can be as long as you want, but it must be at least four sentences long, and something must happen. So you can't just post "Again" and walk away--you have to contribute in some way to the story. Twist rule #2 you cannot write yourself in, or control your own character. You can write in anybody else you want, but you'd better be nice, because if you p*ss anybody off, they can write you in as a prostitute. As I'm pretty sure is going to happen to me.

Oh, yes: if you have any comments that aren't part of the story, include them inside OOC tags. That is, (ooc) and (/ooc), but using square brackets instead of round.
like this

Now, on with the story:

What if...Phoenix became President of the United States

"Wake up! Wake up! You won!" Jeeves shook the sleeping President

"What?" Phoenix blinked and yawned.

"You won the election! You're President of the United States!"

"Hmm? I ran? Wait, I thought you had to be 35!"

Jeeves shook his head, "Oh, crap, not another one of those infernal time loops! Look you ARE 35. Going on 36. You got drunk one night and decided to run for President. Well, wake up, you won!"

"It must have been some night," complained Phoenix

"Tequila" explained Jeeves.

"Oh, I guess that would do it." Groggily, Phoenix got up off of the couch and went outside, to where reporters were all gathered 'round.

"They want a speech" prompted Jeeves.

"Umm..." said Phoenix. "I don't even <i>like</i> America."

"The microphone is on, you know," whispered Jeeves.

"SH--! oh, yeah, the mike's on. Um....hi, everybody. Just, hang on a minute....I'm a little hung ov--I mean, under the weather."

"Help!" shouted Jeeves.

Help was not far away as Phoenix's husband came clambering out of the kitchen in his underwear.

I am <i>sooooo</i> dead for this....

"What is it?" complained Rafael.

A reporter piped up, "How does it feel to be the first male First Lady in the history of America?"

"What the f*** are you talking about?" asked Rafael in a thick French accent, "I am not even an American!"

"Apparently, I won the election." muttered Phoenix.

"Election?" said Rafael, "I guess ah am steel too drunk to remember an election."

I'm going to have to record that line :p

10-11-2001, 03:52 PM
*dies out laughing*

Bleys-san, you're dead.
I can't write the following part since I'm in, which would make me break rule #2. However, as soon as I have a spot, YOU are going to become a martyr. *plots*

Supernova Goes Pop
10-11-2001, 04:43 PM
Phoenix is standing, still half-asleep and hung over, with Rafael standing nearby in his underpants with a digustingly huge pot-belly, and his right hand down his pants, scratching his buttocks.

"Uh.. as President of USA, I promise to do.. absolutely NOTHING!" Phoenix announces, with a dead look of alcohol induced stupidity in her eyes.

The entire news group blinks, dumb-founded by the announcement. Rafael removes his hand from his backside, and proceeds to scratch his scrotum, oblivious to the situation.

"Yup. I refuse to do anything for you greedy bastards. Although, one thing I promise to do, is dismantle USA's Government completely! All because Nickelodeon CANCELLED REN AND STIMPY!" she shouts, waving a menacing fist through the air.

Rafael mutters "Ren and Stimpy are good.. Me smash Nickelodeon's face! Into itty bits of GOO-GOO!"

Upon this, the big, orange Nickelodeon blimp flies overhead, piloted by the infamous fiend, Kawaii Ryuukishi. It's hold opens up, and a giant spoon comes crashing down through the air, headed directly for Rafael, the President, and all those little Canadian midgets. Jeeves too.

Everyone gasps, as the shadow of the powerful spoon envelops them, the sound of spoon fills their ears, so on and so forth.

What will happen next.. ?

10-11-2001, 05:55 PM
Bleys-oniisama; you are soooooooo dead. *grumbles because she can't write in because she was in the last part*

Seriously, though. I love you, oniisama; but I'm going to *whispers in Bleys's ear* and then I think I'll *whispers some more* and all this with a DULL, RUSTY BUTTERKNIFE!

All of you; be nice to Rafael. If you aren't, as SOON as I can write something, you will be sorry. VERY sorry.

*plots SGP's mortifying and prolonged, humorous and INCREDIBLY embarassing death scene*


Citizen Bleys
10-11-2001, 06:11 PM
You can't control your own character, but you <i>can</i> post--Just write a new character into the scene.

Hmm...what do you think of "Diary of a Madman" for the themesong at my funeral? :)

#2: Edit: Thanks, SGP, for taking some of the heat off of me. Now Phoenix and Vivi will be doing some of the things they would have done to me to <i>you</i> instead.

10-11-2001, 06:41 PM
Suddenly, in bursts Spaceman Spiff through the doors, in a giant golf cart filled with ice-cream, and wearing one of those jumpers only middle-aged golfers wear. "Who wants ice cream?!" he called.

Rafael, upon sight of the ice-cream, grabbed the giant spoon, and began to devour the dessert. As the spoon was silenced upon entering his mouth, everyone breathed a sigh of relief that their lives would not end due to a giant piece of cutlery. Kawaii Ryûkishi became enraged, and decided to use Plan B.

However, to proceed with Plan B, he had to call his head henchman, who was currently on holiday in Bermuda. Kawaii proceeded to call him anyway, and said "...

Someone else can choose who the henchman is :D

10-11-2001, 06:47 PM

"Crono_logical, come here!", Kishi said while waving a latex tentacle.
He also called Mik, telling him to "get bent".
Mik, lost, confused, had to ask for help on this, as he was clearly unaware of the meaning of that order.

I won't forget you Bleys-san. *g*

Luckily, as Kal happened to be here, semi-sleeping, because of a night spent with BOU, she proceeded to explain it to Mik...


10-11-2001, 07:07 PM
*dies* Great new thread, Bleys.

The fear of the spoon diverted by Spiff's ice cream, Rydia giggled, watching the pandemonium. "Exactly accordingly to plan..." As the chaos ensued, and more and more innocents became more and more confused, she purred, grinning and watching.

Chrono_logical hung up the phone and mystically found a way to immediately be transported from Bermuda to the scene of our tale. Seeking out Kishi, yet carefully staying out of the latex tentacle's range, he asked, "Why'd you cut short my holiday?"

Citizen Bleys
10-11-2001, 07:22 PM
Let's try to maintain continuity, folks--It's not believable that all of this happened as a direct result of Phoenix being elected President...Like Vivi being the First Lady is :)

10-11-2001, 07:25 PM
Do we keep it or does it start again after SGP's post?
*likes to be the First Lady*

10-11-2001, 07:27 PM
Meanwhile back in the US capital, Rafael had showered and put some clothes on. The near death experience with Kishi's failed spoon antics had left him unscathed. He went into the oval office where Phoenix was trying desperately to remember what exactly had possessed her to run for president of the united states.

"Are you alright dear?" He asked in a semi timid tone.

"No.. how can I be? I'm the goddamn president of the united states and someone is trying to drop spoons on me!"

Just then Rydia, the maid walked into the room.
"Good morning Mrs. President. You look a bit under the weather. Is everything alright?" She grinned deviously, but the gesture went unnoticed.

"Meh.. I will be. Don't bother cleaning this room yet.. Go get me some coffee though. This hangover is really getting me down."

Rydia left the room without a word. Rafael suggested to Pheonix that they phone The Prime Minister of england in an attempt to iron out this incredibly wrinkled plot.

The phone rang in the Simon's office. He put down his meat and potatoe pie and answered the phone..

Edit: Dammit.. Bleys posted that while I was typing this. Hope this isn't too far out there ;)

10-11-2001, 07:48 PM
"Yes?", he answered.

"It's Phoenix here", replied the still-confused president. "We may have an international crisis on our hands, a madman from Nickolodeon is trying to take over North America with kitchen utensils, and reports from the FBI tell us that there may be associates in England helping in this nefarious plot, so your country may also be unsafe. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that these people may even be in your Cabinet pretending to serve under you."

"What!?", exclaimed Simon, and as he did so, he slammed his fist onto the table - only to miss and hit the edge of the pie instead, catapulting it into his waiter's face. "Dammit, get me another meat and potato pie, Dr. Unne", he ordered, for that was the waiter's name.

"Yes, m'lord", replied Unne, and he sidled off to the kitchen to get another meal - or so that's what Simon thought. However, since Unne had overheard the phone conversation, he had to follow his own hidden agenda...

10-11-2001, 08:00 PM
'Get these Jello-bombs prepared by 9pm, we have a deadline to reach!' Unne barked out the order to his staff. 'Our master will be most displeased if we cannot get the trap set.'

However, little did Unne know, but their master had other ideas...

'The cyborg newbies, are complete.' The computer announced, in an emotionless voice.
'Target is set.'
The evil man smiled. 'We shall destroy Phoenix!'
The butler walked over.
'Yes Tidwell?'
The butler closed his eyes, and spoke in a very eeeeeeenglish accent. 'What about Dr. Unne's pie traps, sir?'
'I have my cyborg newbies now! Kill Dr. Unne!'
'Yes, sir.'
The man swung around in his chair, and turned on the TV, Family guy appeared.
'ARGH! Real entertainment!? NO! Destroy Fox TV immediatley, I want Sabrina, TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY...! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

10-11-2001, 09:01 PM
Unne was waiting in the pie cellar when the henchmen came for him. He was busy making more pies for Minister Simon, but these were no ordinary pies...

As Unne prepared the secret ingredient, the evil overlord's henchmen burst into the room. Ever quick on his feet, the eternal shoeshine boy tied all the henchmen into a giant pretzel with sheer force fo will.

"Nothing goes with pooty pie quite like a human pretzel," Unne muttered. "I had better get on the phone with Mr. Kishi, and inform him of this most fortuitous development!"


Kishi was back in his subterrainean lair when the phone call came from Dr. Unne.

Unne was frantic on the phone, yelling, "Kishi-kun, I believe Minister Simon is on to our nefarious plot! When I served him his latest delectible pie creation, he made a face and muttered about how he hadn't tasted anything so bad since the 'noodle incident'. What if he figured out I am a double agent?!?!?"

"Don't be afraid, Dr. Unne," Kishi aurally stroked Unne. "I was afraid too at first, but now we can have lots and lots of fun together."


10-11-2001, 09:16 PM
*snickers* Yes, I love this thread. And, I'm sorry my post was a bit 'out there' from the main topic, meh... I'll try and make my stuff fit continuity from now on. :rolleyes2

"Kishi, this isn't the time for cleverly quoting yourself!" Unne muttered, exasperated, into the phone. "They're onto our plot. What now?"

"Hm, hm." The line went silent as Kishi pondered this. "Perhaps this is startling in its simplicity, good Doctor, but all we've got to do is..."

10-12-2001, 02:55 AM
"...infiltrate the White House and steal Phoenix's exclusive transportation, Air Ship One."

"And how will we do this, oh wise yet also cute dragon knight?" inquired the eternal shoeshine boy.

"We will kidnap and replace the official White House Maid. She is the secret holder of Air Ship One's top secret security codes."

"Rydia???? How will we ever be able to kidnap her. Surely Rafael will notice immediately that his favorite servant is missing in action."

"I told you it was a plan simple yet fiendish in it's intricacies. We simply have to replace Rydia with a decoy."

"And who will be this decoy?????"

"Ah, my dear Lefeinish expert, you said yourself that Daryl is the spitting image of Rydia. She will get into the White House, relieve Rydia of her duties, and sing the national anthem at the home Redskins games while she's at it!"

"But does Daryl approve of this plan? She will be putting herself into extreme peril..."

Supernova Goes Pop
10-12-2001, 06:36 AM
"Oh, but of course she will!" Kishi replies, absent mindedly fiddling with an adult pleasure toy.

Unne sighs, and dons one of them Arnold voices, and says "I should've stayed home today.."

(ooc)Arnold is that red-headed midget from The Magic School Bus!(/ooc)

--------------------- Meanwhile...

Rydia is being chased around the White House by Rafael, still in his dirtied underpants, beer-gut flapping gracefully in the wind.

"Come 'er, puddin'!" he shouts, with a surpisingly disgusting Southern accent, while charging after the terrified Rydia.

"Get away from me, Rafael! You smell like the stables, look like elephant droppings, and you're a SOUTHERNER! Bah!" she screams, whole dodging the crowds of Canadian midgets that infest the White House.

"But you KNOW you want me.."

"I want you about as much as I want a shotgun blast to my face!"

Rydia continues running, and eventually topples headlong into Phoenix, knocking her flat on the arse.

"Eeek! Ahhh! Other assorted sounds of surprise!" The President screechs, as she drops her papers everywhere.

As Phoenix's incredibly huge butt approaches the ground, everyone pass simulataneously, the earthquake soon to follow from the mighty ass colliding with the floor immenent.

"It's the end, Rafael! Hold me!" says Ryd, as she passes out dramatically into Rafael's hand. The other one is stuck in his belly-button, picking out 3 year old lint.

Inches before the Butt of Apocalypse (huge, might I add) hits, Daryl swings in on a vine, wearing nothing but a loincloth and club! Yes, no bra either! She swings through the air, topless, coming closer to Rydia. When in range, she kicks Rydia out the winda.

"Eeep." Rydia mumbles, as she lands on a conveniently placed spike of jagged, burning metal.

Phoenix's butt hits, shaking the entire White House to the very core. Windows crack, walls collapse, people scream. The lights go out, and Daryl is thrown onto Rafael, in a odd, yet arousing position. Topless still, too. Rafael wakes from his lint-picking stupor, to see a topless Tarzan woman lying on top of him.

"Oooh, baby.." he purrs.

"Awww, crap" Daryl sighs, defeated.

10-12-2001, 06:46 AM
Heh. I can't even write a response to this right now. Let's just say, dear Supernova Goes Pop, that your time is coming. >=D

Supernova Goes Pop
10-12-2001, 07:01 AM
Heh. Fear me. Well, now I'm going to be very embarassed. Not.

10-12-2001, 06:34 PM
You are all dead.

As Rydia trembled, fearing the end of the world, the rest of the gathering wondered what was wrong with her. "She must be on crack; and it's definitely <i>not</i> FFL-quality crack," Rafael observed. "It's not even Legardinia or BP quality crack!"

Just then, the Prime Minister of Canada walked into the scene of drunken stupor that was the White House. "My imoto-san has <i>all</i> the fun!" Prime Minister Bleys Maynard complained. He wandered over to where his little sister sat holding a bottle of Jack Daniels and looking rather confused.

"Drunken nights near election times are <i>off-limits</i> for us now, imoto-san," he said, wagging his head sagely.

Just then, a Canadian midget, obviously a Liberal, began to sneak nearer to Bleys...


10-12-2001, 06:42 PM
Fear our wrath!

"SGP!", Bleys yelled.
"Yes, it's me, Sugpo, or Supernova goes pop, whatever", the midget said, "how could you think you would escape from home, my dear?".
Bleys had to admit, with a glimpse of reason in his eyes, that he was stuck with her.
Could he even say "her" ?
Fast analysis of the situation.
She was short
She had flat b00bs
She had a start of beard and moustache.
"Let's face it", thought Bleys, "I was dead drunk when we married".

I have some more time to write. >=]
Phoenix, I'm sorry, but Bleys will suffer.

SGP wrapped her arms around Bleys, smiling with ... smiling. Bleys tried to look at the ceiling. He noticed a crack in the paint. "Crack", he thought, "that's what I forgot in Halifax, sh**!"
He made the error of looking at his wife. She immediately caught his face in her hands, and pulled him. Bleys just had time to take his breath.
They kissed.
It lasted, long, awfully long.
Finally he was released, half choking.

Now come on, my dear", said SGP, pulling him by the ear.

She stopped in front of the President Of The USA, Phoenix. "May I use your broom closet?", she asked. Phoenix, a little surprised, asked why. "Because he has something to finish. He ran out of the house right before, yelling your name and 'President'". SGP winked.
"Oh, I see" *g* made Phoenix. "Go ahead. It's on the left, second door". SGP thanked her and pulled her husband.

All we can say is that the following scene is forbidden because of people less than 18 years old.

You were warned

Bleys went out the first, pulling back the buttons of his pants, followed by SGP, scratching her crotch. She realized that she forgot to put back her underwear. She took it in the closet and put it back, half hidden behind her husband.
She noticed the bottle of Jack Daniels and rushed.
"I was wondering where it was"
She opened it and started to drink.

Bleys didn't want so much. He sneaked away, going back into the room he thought to be good. Daryl was lying there, still in her Tarzan suit.
She was uncounscient, after running from the mess she was in.

He carefully closed the door.

Should I go on?

She woke up and noticed something was wrong.
The bump in his pants, that shape she could recognize.
She breaked out her butter knife.

She was htreatening Bleys.

It's not over, next post... Mwahahaha >=]

10-12-2001, 07:39 PM
My god.. this country would be a shambles with me in charge... there'd be nowt left by the end of breakfast. ;)

10-12-2001, 07:41 PM
omg vivi.. that's gonna be hard to follow xD

Bleys noticed the butterknife held threateningly in Daryl's hand. He started to back away but just as he did his Wife burst out of the broom closet.

"Dearest?" She called.

Bleys looked around in a frantically... what to do? Daryl slunk closer to him the knife still in her hand ass SGP spotted him.

"Bleysie poo! What do you think you are doing with that.. that jungle floozy??"

Bleys whirled around in terror. SGP had pulled something out of her panties.. a shiny spork. He knew that spork well, it was her implement of punishment. He winced at the painful thoughts that object evoked. His hands went protectively to his crotch.

Just then the door to the room was kicked open and a large drunken scotsman staggered in.

"what in the name of god are ye arses doin?"

Phoenix ran into the room to investigate all the noise.

"Oh my.. Wyllius! what are you doing here?"

Citizen Bleys
10-12-2001, 07:42 PM
I'm married to a man? Never mind that, I'm married to a <i>Liberal</i>? This means war!

A roar like thunder shook the White House. Plaster dropped from the ceiling and a shadow fell over the house, transforming noon to midnight.

"O dear God," whispered Phoenix, "This can't be happening."

"And why not, Mother?" came the laconic reply. "Don't you miss me? It's been long since I've been to this backward planet, Earth. I see you've been up to trouble."

From the artificial shadows strode the form of Toshiharu Maynard, Conqueror of Sirius Sector.

With a glance at Rafael, Toshiharu commented, "I see you've been drinking again." Nonchalantly, Toshiharu kicked Rafael square in the arse.

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething
As if this Earth in fast, thick pants were breathing
A mighty fountain momently was forced
Amid whose swift, half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail!
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
Flung momently down the sacred river!

Five miles meandering with mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran
And reached the caverns measureless to man
And sunk in tumult to lifeless ocean
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from afar
Ancestral voices prophecying war!

The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountains and the caves
'Twas a miracle of rare device!
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

Note: the bit about "Kubla" was put in there for completeness--I don't want to introduce a second new character, since I am acting as though already bound by the new "twist" I'll introduce into "What If" #2

10-12-2001, 08:54 PM
Bleysie...you've just signed your own death warrant. *g*

Toshiharu looked around after kicking Rafael. He glanced at his mother, and then over to his father.

"Father, mother marrying a Frenchman who can't hold his liquor is a sin; but a forgiveable one. However, you marrying a <i>LIBERAL</i> is just beyond redemption."

Toshiharu walked over to his father, tossing both Daryl and SGP out of the window and into the thorny rosebeds below. Once he reached Bleys, he slapped him, HARD. "That is for hitting me once when I was a child!" Pulling out a remote control and pushing a few buttons menacingly, Toshiharu summoned the Second Worst Poets in the Galaxy; the Volgons.

"I hope you enjoy an evening of recitation of the Greater Volgonian Epics, Father," Toshiharu said, an evil grin on his face.

I told you so. Fear. Toshiharu is, and always has been, a mama's boy!


10-12-2001, 08:59 PM
I'll have you people know that I'm very much sober and ready for ACTION!

10-12-2001, 09:02 PM
Do you like French?

He started to read, Volgon French poem.

O blas bougriot glabouilleux
Tes micturations me touchent
Comme des flactouillis slictueux
Sur une blotte mouche
Grubeux, je t'implore,
Car mes fontins s'empalindroment...
Et surrénalement me sporent
De croinçantes épiquarômes.
Ou sinon... nous t'échierons dans les gobinapes
Du fond de notre patafion
Tu verras si j'en suis pas cap!

Bleys was agonising, the eyes filled with terror.

10-12-2001, 09:11 PM
God bless the French

Bleys gripped his head in agony. Toshiharu grabbed him by the hair and dragged his father out of the White House.

"Wow," Rafael said, "I hope my children by Phoenix aren't as strange as hers by Bleys, Nameles, and CK."

Wyllius looked around from his place and laughed evilly. "That's one hell of a kid," he said, giving up a toast for Toshiharu.


Belladonna Knight
10-12-2001, 09:36 PM
Daryl and Sugpo landed among the brush, freshly covered in bruises and bloody scratches.

"You HUSSY! This is all your fault!" Sugpo spat in a high-pitched voice. She began slapping at Daryl's hands, in some crude and laughable attempt to inflict injury.

Daryl swung her club in a wide overhead arc, ready to smash Sugpo's skull... but found her swing blocked by a spork.

"I will not be defeated so easily, you husband-stealing jungle whore!" Sugpo praaded Daryl with the spork.

"Eee! I'll show you a 'jungle whore,' you ill-mannered, short-tempered, hairy sasquatch BITCH!" Daryl swung her club like a baseball bat, and clocked Sugpo across the temple, leaving her very much unconscious.

When Sugpo came to, she was chained to a pole in some dingy alley, on all fours, shaved clean and arse-naked. Daryl was standing over her, now wearing an overcoat and holding a fine steel cane. Sugpo looked over her shoulder to see that a bunch of hobos and other various unshowered people had gathered in a line behind her. She looked up at the post she was chained to--attached to it was a sign.

"$2.50 AN HOUR"

Sugpo turned ghostly pale. Daryl's words, "I'll show you a 'jungle whore,'", flooded her head.

~Belladonna Knight

10-12-2001, 10:32 PM
Heh heh. Good save, Bella.

Blaze Knight
10-12-2001, 11:00 PM
3 months later...
Sugpo is on the brink of life and about to collapse. One day Belladonna walked by an ally and heard various screems of agony and torture and rushed to see what was going on. Bella got to the front of the line and was appalled by what was seen.

"what happened to you?" asked Bella
"that SOB daryl put my in chains and shackals for calling her a jungle whore, I would like nothing more than to get sweet revenge on her" replied Sugpo.
" hay quit holding up the line"yelled some smelly looking hobo.
"can you get me outta here" muttered Sugpo *collapses*
"I'll see what I can do but first..." says Bella with an evil look on her face. *deposits $2.50*
Sugpo was unconcious for 3 days only to awaken in some creepy old monestary.

Supernova Goes Pop
10-13-2001, 04:29 AM
(ooc)You bloody SOBs. I hate you all, I really, really hate you. >=D Although, that was a very goos one, Bella. xD(/ooc)

10-13-2001, 04:47 AM
[/ooc] wonderful Belladonna!! That was more even amusing and slightly more icky than Master Vivi's post [/ooc]

Meanwhile Daryl had found her way back to the hideout of the tentacle weilding Kishi.

"Kishi kun.. I am sorry.. I failed you." Daryl hung her head in shame.

Kishi sat in his high backed chair facing his desk. His back was towards the bloody bruised Daryl. He tapped his fingers impatiently.

Daryl grew uneasy as she stood shifting from foot to foot. Finally Kishi spoke.

"Did you get the key from Rydia, the maid?"

"No oh lord. I tossed her out the window and I was attacked by a canadian midget. I didn't have a chance to."

"Very well," he replied. "We shall soon find a suitable punishment for you.. and a way to fix what you have ruined."

10-13-2001, 04:55 AM
*giggles* o_O

Within Kishi's "office/lair", the phone suddenly demanded attention with a strident ring. He picked up the receiver, idly toying with the cord, waiting patiently.

Dr. Unne's voice was heard from the other end. "Well? Did our plan commence successfully?"


"I see." The shoeshine boy was silent. "Perhaps we need a more fool-proof plot. It'd probably work out beautifully if we..."

Supernova Goes Pop
10-13-2001, 06:52 AM
(ooc) Apologize to that poor Sugpo chap, and make him/her a God! This is the best thread ever. (/ooc)

Chrono Duck
10-13-2001, 06:55 AM
Whatever you guys are smoking, I need some...pass it over pleez...

Citizen Bleys
10-13-2001, 05:59 PM
Stunned by the sudden lack of attention, Phoenix bolted for the nearest phone booth. She slammed the door shut, wishing it was one of the phone booths with one of the <i>opaque</i> partitions instead of this buggering glass, and began to transform.

The sound of profanity began to emerge from the phone booth, and it shook on its foundations. Pedestrians began warily backing away, when finally the phone booth came crashing down, spraying broken glass everywhere, and revealing...


Toshiharu shook his head. "You picked a crappy secret identity, mother. But I guess it worked, because everybody thought it was too silly to be a secred identity. Even Big Gay Mike was more realistic."

"Hey! I am real!" called Big Gay Mike's voice from offstage.

"Silence, knave," hissed Toshiharu.

"I suppose it makes sense. There is no way somebody as utterly shameless as Bambi could independently exist--It had to be all a sham. One of those cartoon superheros wandering the streets in search of justice, or in this case..."

"...hardcore pornography" supplied Bambi/Phoenix.

"Yes, yes, hardcore pornography," finished Toshiharu thoughtfully. "I knew there was a reason I fled this world. It is far too strange for one such as I. Alley-oop!"

At just that moment, Del Snizz, King of Iraq, dashed onto the scene. "Halt, Toshiharu Maynard! Your cat's urinary tract health is in grave danger!"

"Curses! My old foe, the King of Iraq!" snarled Toshiharu.