2007 EoFF Elections: The Home Streeeeeetch

[Rad Zak]

So yeah, it didn't run as smoothly as we planned. Let's just try and concentrate on a big finish now as we move into the Home Stretch! Time for you all to cast your votes and decide the fate of EoFF for the next year and choose your leaders.

Voting is going to be a pretty simple process. You read the answers for each section, choose the party with the pitch you liked the best and PM your votes to us. Easy!

We'll post each section in a new post, just to save from having a mega-long post to read and generally make things easier to bear. We'll update this first post with the direct links to the post with each section as they're updated.

Anyway, We've said all we can be arsed to say, so...it begins. General section on its way!

General (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/105197-2007-eoff-elections-home-streeeeeetch.html#post2189127) (Edit: BAMF question 3 entry changed to the second submission they gave us. Forgot to do it first time.)
Staff and Reference (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/105197-2007-eoff-elections-home-streeeeeetch.html#post2189150)
Nerds in Paradise (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/105197-2007-eoff-elections-home-streeeeeetch.html#post2189158)
The Quickening and The Smell of Fear (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/105197-2007-eoff-elections-home-streeeeeetch.html#post2189177)
The World is Square...and Enix (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/105197-2007-eoff-elections-home-streeeeeetch.html#post2189188)

And there we have it, folks. Get sending those votes in. You have 5 days.

[Psychotic]

Vote TUTU, everybody!

[Tavrobel]

Hells yeah!

[loben]

dang it.... spam times almost over :D

[Tavrobel]

dang it.... spam times almost over :D

Not while the threads are still up!

[Rad Zak]

General

1. Do you believe overrated/underrated threads are overrated/underrated and how would you combat public opinion on the matter!

BAMF: I believe there is no over and underrated threads, just degrees of badassery, and should henceforth be judged as such. Thusly, a thread will be judged by a motorcycle rally, or a mass brawl...to be determined by the thread-makers peference.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: Overrated threads are overrated, obviously. These may include threads that are only responded to out of a user's popularity, or a like/dislike of a user as opposed to actually having an interest in the subject.

On the opposite end, underrated threads are those that are genuinely thought-provoking, but are ignored due to dislike of subject matter.

To draw attention, boycott overrated threads and go to underrated ones. Boycotts have worked wonders (if you look at the civil rights movement of the sixties, you'll see what I mean). It'll eventually get to the point where people have to notice.

The Party:I, myself, find Overrated Threads to be highly and uncompromisingly underrated. To elevate such Overrated threads to a level of normalcy, follow what I like to call the "Evastio Formula". The formula is defined as follows:
<img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/overrated.jpg" border="0" alt="" />

Now the underrated thread is a different story completely. Personally, I find underrated threads to be somewhat overrated, but this is purely opinion. As with the overrated thread, if you wish to create an underrated thread, the easiest method would be to follow the pre-established formula. This formula, most scholars would agree, was discovered independently by Isaac Newton sometime in his mid-career; although some scholars argue he had assistance in its derivation from a friend. Lady friend. With whom he probably had sex. Just sayin'.

The formula for the underrated thread is as follows:

<img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/underrated.jpg" border="0" alt="" />

2. How will your party ensure that Shy/Modest guys like ladies man Peter_20 are treated with equal respect here at EoFF, among the suave and incorrigible badasses (such as Agent Proto) who comprise the general forum populace?

BAMF: I shall take such members aside and give them personal badass lessons. They will either rise to the occasion, or perish trying.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: All most users need is a pep talk to convince them to post here and feel more at home. It may be that just the user's time is limited. However, some people are just shy. All we need to do is just encourage everybody to speak their mind to make EoFF even better.

The Party: Equality will be quickly achieved in three simple steps:

#1 Both Shy/Modest guys like Peter_20 and suave and incorrigible badasses like Agent Proto will be rounded up, and placed in a holding pen.

#2 A horde of angry barbarians, armed with rusty chainsaws and riding killer whales will then be unleashed into the pen.

#3 The rest of the forums will be given popcorn and other assorted viewing snacks, in order to satisfy their hunger as they watch the glorious sight of EoFF justice. Proto and Peter are now both equally slaughtered, a victory for all that is good and right on this forum.
<img src="http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f387/Lekana/crapcopy-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" />

3. Create the two most unoriginal, cliche characters you can think of...and then duel them to the death! Your assignment is your very own mini-RP Tournament.

BAMF: Somewhere on a little island in the middle of the ocean is a town. It's an average town full of farmers and uselessness. A field grows vegetables in the shadow of a scarecrow meant to scare away birds. A church filled with empty benches and the statue of a goddess sits on the corner nestled against cliffs. A weapons store sits next to an armor store even though noone in town can use them and noone has ever come to visit the town from any other land. There's even an old man who sits as chief on a rug outside the biggest building in town.

One day, as birds flew overby and waves splashed against the shores, someone did come to town. He came on a ship that flew in the sky! Noone in town knew what to make of it. They were so stunned they could only mutter a single sentence as he asked his questions. This stranger had the most ridiculous hair they had ever seen. It was long and shaped in angles that even the strongest glue ever known couldn't hold in place for anyone else. His shirt was sleeveless and his pants baggy. The sword he carried was wider than the fattest watermelon the villagers had ever grown and longer than the biggest fish anyone had ever caught. He said his name was Monsoon.

Moonsoon visited all the stores, talked to everyone in town, and even stole all the hidden treasures found in pots, drawers, and crates. This made the villagers very angry. They refused to say more to him then the single line they had mutttered upon his first arrival. Much to their grief he didn't leave. Monsoon bought a room at the inn that night for a rest. During the night he murmered and screamed at the dreams his inner demons drew forth, no doubt from the guilt of all he had done in his past. All the villagers got little sleep that night.

As morning came to the unhappy little town a new stranger rode in. It was the three town gaurds, which made up it's army, that saw him first. They were all on watch. He came at dawn, just as the sun began to rise. He needed no ship. His ghostly horse simply walked across the waves, then disappeared as he dismounted. This stranger gave no name, but one got the impression that he didn't need one. Everyone who saw him would recognize his description no matter where they saw him. Upon his brow was a wide cowboy hat and a cigarette hung from a thin lower lip. His skin was a tint of black and shades covered his eyes. The man didn't wear a shirt, but his pants were made of black leather and his combat boots made a solid thud as they hit the ground.

"I'm lookin' for a hawaiian burger. This town have any hawaiian burgers?", he said. We had to tell him no. "Damn. Then I guess the only thing this town has for me is Monsoon. Where is he?"

At this the man from before stepped out of the inn.

"There you are, little Stormy. The Empire wants you, you know. They want you dead for your rebellious ways. That's why they hired me. I'm the most badass motherfsmurfing mercenary anyones ever seen. They hired me to come get you. That, and it's personal. I'm going to scalp all that pretty hair for stealing my harley."

"Well then let's not waste any time", replied Monsoon. He drew his sword and took a stance to strike. In the flash of an eye the mercenary drew a revolver from his pants. Six quick burst later and all it's bullets were heading straight for their target with an accuracy that never missed. This time they wouldn't either had things been different. Bringing the sword around Monsoon grazed each, scattering them at peril towards anywhere but himself. Two hit the scarecrow, one hit the armor shop, and the other three fell harmlessly to the ground.

Monsoon rushed in swinging his sword in a downwards thrust at the mercenaries head. He swiftly stepped to the side and landed a fist in the others ribs. Monsoon fell face first to the ground with a wheeze, then spun around sending his sword in an arc. It grazed mercenaries sunglasses, knocking them aside. As he staggered back Monsoon raised his hand and lightning flashed. A hole seemed to to rip into the very air itself as something began to materialize inside. Then, a chocobo popped out. It jumped in the air, clicking it's legs together. The chocobo began running towards mercenary. Crouching towards the ground he awaited the attack. As the chocobo rushed close enough, mercenary pulled a knife out of his boot and lunged, looping his arm around the bird's neck and swinging up on it's back. The knife went straight through the skull and that was the end of that.

Mercenary dropped to his feet.

"Looks like I'm eating chicken tonight," he said.

"Unless I kill you first".

With that Monsoon rushed in. Mercenary met this with a fist to his face. Then another, another, and another, effectively turning Monsoon's face into hamburger. Grabbing his hair, mercenary drug him to the airship. Then dropping him to the ground mercenary walked in. Moments later a loud rumbling was heard. It grew louder and louder echoing through the air. Seconds later a harley came out, stopping beside Monsoon. Mercenary strapped his fallen victim to the harley, then rode off into the distance.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: Um, how do I do this, again?

The Party: Name: Merlot
Age: 19
Appearance: Slim build. Blonde, carefully styled hair and bright blue eyes. Wears a tight vest which exposes a lot of his torso. He stands atop a pair of platform shoes, containing a pair of goldfish swimming around inside.
Skills: Skilled in using an outrageously unrealistic sword.
Bio: He dreams of an exciting life of adventure. Just as he leaves his home and his mother (his father died), the evil Empire attack his village and destroy it. He tries to fight the troops but loses, and fortunately an old, scarred friend of his father's saves the day and takes him somewhere safe - the base of the resistance. There he meets a Princess, who is the only survivor of an ancient race. She carries a crystal pendant, which contains great power. The two fall in love but can't make a move on each other until the Empire and any other evil is destroyed. And so his adventure begins...

Name: Sauvignon
Age: 19
Appearance: Slim build. Long, silver-blue hair and eyes of purest black. Sports a rather fetching handlebar mustache. Wears a black trenchcoat and black boots.
Skills: Uses a really, really long sword. He also is able to use extremely powerful magic such as Fire3 and Reduce Everyone To One HP.
Bio: Was a great hero of the people until he learned of his origins - he was a genetic experiment from another planet. Has joined the Empire and has quickly risen through their ranks as their greatest general. However, upon discovering an ancient artifact of terrific power - or rather, waiting for the party to go through the dungeon filled with traps, high level monsters and two bosses, teleporting in and taking it from them - he has overthrown the emperor and now plans to destroy the world. Just 'cause he can.

"SAUVIGNON! IT'S OVER!" Merlot cried out before noticing the form lying on the floor - Beautiful Princess was dead too. "FIRST SCARRED OLD HERO, NOW BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS! IS THERE NOTHING YOU WON'T TAKE FROM ME?!" He screamed but Sauvignon was too far away to hear him or chose to ignore him. They stood facing each other, cold hatred burning in both their eyes. Beautiful Princess lay dead behind Merlot where Sauvignon had repeatedly penetrated her, her fluids still ran down her body, pooling on the floor beneath her. Merlot's weapon was thirsty and hard, ready to pound away at Sauvignon repeatedly and mercilessly. Feeling the building tension within him, he knew would would erupt and nothing would stop him. "Why?! Why do you do this to us, Savignon? My friends...what did they do to deserve such brutality? You cursed brigand!"

Merlot flew at Sauvignon, their weapons clashing violently as they vied for superiority. "You cannot take control of me, Merlot, you son of a fancy woman, and like Beautiful Princess and Old Scarred Hero before you, you will lie pierced, bloody and dying in these halls." Sauvignon said fiercely. Merlot was caught off guard as the huge weapon of Sauvignon penetrated him deeply. A cry, sharp and sweet to Sauvignon's ears pierced the silence. Merlot grabbed the meaty sword of Sauvignon and flung it aside, and threw himself on top of Sauvignon and began to beat him relentlessly. There was no jazzy music, no excited onlookers, just the sounds of the two men moaning and grunting as their contest continued.
Sauvignon forced Merlot off him, trying to ram his heavy weapon into his delicate areas. Both men were trying their best for supremacy now, grabbing, biting and viciously pounding away at each other. Breaking apart, Merlot checked his weapon again - it was still hard, and ready for more. His left platform shoe's goldfish was floating upside down, dead...

"You kill my friends, and now you kill my shoes! This is unacceptable!" Merlot panted between great gasps for air as Sauvignon continued to try and force his way into him, the evil man obviously taking pleasure in his weapon's powerful thrusts at him. The ground was stained with their fluids, both his and Sauvignon's. Merlot fought not only for his life but the life of every living person on the planet. The pressure built and played in his mind, the feelings swelled making his eruption a truly magnificent one. Weapon in hand he beat Sauvignon repeatedly and relentlessly. Sauvignon's body leaked fluid like a bucket with a hole in it, gushing from him in streams that spread across the floor...but Sauvignon wasn't done yet. Smiling viciously he stabbed with his aching weapon, finding the sweet spot in the defences of Merlot.

Merlot could feel it, the hard length inside of him he was poleaxed by the sheer sensation of it... the barrier between him and his pain collapsed and he felt the renting of his body. His fluids sprayed out over Sauvignon's face as his satisfied grin broadened, this was it...like Beautiful Princess and Old Scarred Hero before him he was going become another victim of Sauvingon's uncontrollable urges. Sauvignon was licking Merlot's juices off his lips, sensing the victory. "You have finished me it is true, I will not walk from this, but I can take you with me..." Merlot gasped, tensed up his muscles and squeezed Sauvignon's weapon inside of him. The look in Sauvignon's eyes was wild as the weapon of Merlot rose one last time to finish him off, the penetration was deep and brutal, ripping into his exposed flesh as it sent Sauvignon over the edge. Merlot smiled and collapsed, spent, his precious fluids flowing out of his body to mingle with those of Beautiful Princess, Old Scarred Hero and Sauvignon as they lay in silence...

[Jessweeee♪]

WOOOOO!

[Psychotic]

Well, that was a pwnage.

[Freya]

I love our pictures that back our statements. TAKE THAT other parties!

[Tavrobel]

Well, that was a pwnage.

One of epic proportions.

Wonderful stuff!

[Rad Zak]

Staff and Reference

1. Find the best Penny Arcade, Ctrl-alt-del, or Not Funny to relate to this thread:

http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=81751.

Alternately, you may take one of said comics and replace the text bubbles with your own witty dialogue.

BAMF:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v420/delmurder/electioncomic.jpg

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comics/20030505.jpg

The Party:

http://www.geocities.com/chadmonkey/electioncartoon2.gif

2. The Feedback forum was once the go-to place for quality entertainment and good times. What course of action will your party take to convince the EoFF Staff to make Feedback public once again?

BAMF: 2. We propose the following rules be enforced upon reestablishment of the public Feedback Forum:

* Ban Raistlin from all possible posting in the Feedback Forum (we realize he is a member of this party, but being a bad ass does not change the fact that you are an ass).
* Restrict threads Agent Proto makes just so he can close it himself later to one per year.
* All threads made regarding the swear filter will have that user's name be added to the swear filter, and replaced with *~flUffY PoSiEs~*.
* Ban Raistlin from posting in any other forum while we're at it.
* Have a madatory two Livejournal entries be made by members for each thread.
* Change the name from Feedback Forum to Spamalot.
* Sephex must make a post pointing out how funny something kishi did was at least once per six months (unless kishi hasn't posted in the last six months).
* Everytime someone gets really upset about something in the forum, give them temporary mod powers for the day and let them unban then reban Raistlin. It should help them feel better (works for Shlup).
* If your idea gets accepted, Psychotic will have sex with you.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: We’re going to spell it out for you, plain and simple. No dragging it out. There is a common misconception out there that the one thing a member can do to make the staff bend to his or her will is provide sexual favors. Sexual favors are but a small part of the incentive spectrum. To explain more clearly, here is a pie chart detailing the wants and needs of the Staff. Don’t expect to see the Feedback Forum back until all of the portions have been dealt with. As a warning, don’t let the sizes of the pie portions throw you off. It works.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/kikimm/Elections-1.jpg

No compromises!

The Party: <u><b><font size="3">Dear Staff of Eyes on Final Fantasy:</font></b></u>

It’s been ages since my last encounter with our love child. Needless to say, (The comma implies I’m going to say it anyway) I’m speaking of the Feedback Forum, of course. And when I said “ages” I meant 398 days. (Not that I’m counting or anything.) As funny as it was when you brutally tore us apart from, it would be just swell if you could give it back by now. I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson since then. The feedback forum is not for spamming, EoEO is. Now please give it back or I will be forced to make birthday threads for all 21,589 members of EoFF.

<i>Still</i> not convinced? Thought so. Well, take a look at these <u>100%</u> authentic quotes spoken by real EoFF members in 2006:

If you read between the lines in DP’s poetry it was easy to see that he missed feedback, and that this eventually lead to his downfall.


Oh man why did feedback close down
it really gives me a frown <img src="images/smilies/frown.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Frown" smilieid="2" class="inlineimg" />
hey, look a clown!
Because of lack of feedback I want to drown

Actually, screw that drown part, I’ll just make up some random second account and get myself banned.


You know, since that forum was removed I’ve been eating nothing but porridge day in and day out.
Didn’t you join after it disappeared?
Oh, right. Why am I eating porridge again?


If Feedback is anything like the sound of that word, Quina wants feedback back


I remember this other forum I went to that removed their feedback forum, and you know what happened? THEY DIED. Well, on the inside anyway

What?.... STILL not convinced? Jksdbjk <img src="images/smilies/mad.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Mad" smilieid="9" class="inlineimg" />
I was afraid this would happen. Apparantly the only language the EoFF staff speak is the language of violence. Well, Madministrators and Squid’s Tights (haha I made these up <img src="images/smilies/laugh.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Laugher" smilieid="28" class="inlineimg" />) you will get what you’re asking for! It’s time to take off my metaphorical gloves, ‘cause it’s no more Mr. Nice member anymore, and it ain’t gonna be a pretty sight. <img src="images/smilies/mgwhore2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Trigger Happy" smilieid="272" class="inlineimg" /> I present to you this:<br />

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/levia/shlupransom2.jpg" border="0" alt="" />

I’m smurfing crazy so don’t try to play hero, it will cost you. Just bring feedback back ffs. <img src="images/smilies/mad.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Mad" smilieid="9" class="inlineimg" />

3. Explain what game just MUST be covered on the EoFF frontsite, and why this is so.

BAMF: Prior to releasing Final Fantasy, Squaresoft released many games which were seen as precursors to the first Final Fantasy games today (despite not being RPGs.) One game in particular had the most common ties and can almost be used as the nexus point which connects all of the games. In it, a young warrior is competing against other rivals to journey through a vast desert. Along the way, he encounters many obstacles and... well, I don't want to spoil it, but it's quite a ride. So definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, Rad Racer needs to be covered on the frontsite.

Or, if it ever gets published, This game (http://forums.eyesonff.com/1007668-post352.html).

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: Xenosaga, so that people will stop asking why Xenosaga isn't already covered on the frontsite along with Xenogears.

The Party: <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/levia/monopolyff.jpg" border="0" alt="" />

And here it is, the game you've all been waiting for...Kama Sutra 2 <i>Final Fantasy Monopoly</i>! At last, you can bring the FF world into the real world! Use your well earned gil to buy iconic places such as Zozo or Midgar, or even a famous airship to travel in! However, it's not all fun and games. Watch out for the dastardly Empire's taxes, and keep your head or you might just wind up in the Nalbina Dungeons. The classic pieces of the hat, the dog and the car have been slaughtered replaced by the helmet, the chocobo and the airship. So head on down to your local retailer and plunder buy this immensely nerdy epic game for only 50 (tax deductable) dollars! Go on, buy it. Yes, you. No, not Margaret. She's too old and the excitement might give her a stroke. Remember, buying this game is essential to your happiness and living a long life!

[Psychotic]

If common sense comes out on top, 2-0 to us.

PS: Del I always feel uneasy making a sex joke, because you always make the next post in the thread and I know how you don't like them. Stop it. It's beginning to creep me out.

[Rad Zak]

Nerds in Paradise

1. With the recent loss of the FFClassic section, how does your party plan to ensure the older games forums do not suffer the same fate and fall by the wayside?

BAMF: We're going to go with the big guns and make sure everybody knows just how cool these games are. Clint Eastwood is going to ride into town on his horse handing out copies of FFI to all the pilgrams along with cowboy hats while smoking cigars. James Dean is going to ride into town on his Harley followed by biker babes wearing leather skirts and red lipstick handing out copies of FFII. FFIII? Let me tell you about my friend who likes FFIII. His name is The Terminator. Try and tell him the game isn't awesome. Just think how mothersmurfing cool it's going to be when Bruce Willis comes to haunt your house until you think FFIV is the coolest thing you've ever seen. You think that's bad? Wait until Mr. T vows to pee all over your enemies houses if only you'll claim FFV to be awesome. Who do you think is going to smurf with Mr. T? Samuel L. Jackson is going to storm into houses with a gun and eat all your hawaiian burgers until you vow FFVI is your favorite game. It shouldn't take long. With tactics like these, soon everyone will be loving these games all over again.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/8716/lawlsto8.jpg

The Party: 1. Change the all of the post marks in the FF I forum to nude white mage sprite edits.
2. Change the FF II forum to the 8-Bit Theater forum.
3. Prohibit new users from posting in any forum besides the FF III forum for their first month. Charge them a fee if they don't post at all.
4. Create a permanently stickied Rosa x Rydia erotic fan fiction thread in the FF IV forum, finally revealing to the whole world who Rydia's Secret Lover really is.
5. Change the FF V forum to a "cheese and crackers" forum where we only discuss cheese and/or crackers.
6. Prohibit "Who is the main character" threads in FF VI.
7. Change the title "Nerds in Paradise" to "Cats on Motorcycles."
8. Ban everyone who doesn't post in one of the above-mentioned forums at least once a week.
9. Ban Levian.
10. Allow 100x100 avatars and 1100x400 signatures in all non-Cats on Motorcycles forums.

2. Give us 5 reasons why Mog is such a mothersmurfing pimp.

BAMF: Pimps? Let me tell you what Bad Ass Mother smurfers think about pimps. We don't need them. Babes love badasses. Let me tell you what we don't like about pimps and you'll see what we don't like about the little plushie-bear either.

Dancing. BAMF's don't dance. Take a good look at me and try to guess if I want to Water Rondo or not? Pimps have to be smooth, and to be smooth you have to dance.

Glamour. With a pimp it's all about looking good. Looking good is all about accessories. Rings, jeweled chains, cains, all that shiny crap. Walk up to your nearest BAMF and ask him just how "fly" he thinks your alligator shoes are. They'll probably stick a leather boot in your face and laugh. Those little fairy wings? Not gonna happen, Scooter.

Pimps need bodygaurds. Why? 'Cause badass mother smurfers like us sometimes like to rough them up a bit. They like to hire big muscled goons to try and stop us. HA! Like that ever stopped one of us. We don't need no bodygaurds 'cause we take care of our own. Then we go drink a cheap bear. Just look at plushie-bear's little ogre Umaro.

If there's one thing you can count on with a pimp, it's that he carries protection from all the monstrosities that might want to take them out. Police protection here, a handgun there, maybe even a little moogle charm to let others know he's not the one you wanna mess with. BAMF's aren't afraid of a little jailtime.

Take a good look at what music a pimp likes to listen to. It's full of words that don't make any sense. Fo'sheezy? How about I fo'sheezy all over your spleen , chief. Kupo Kupo? I'm gonna kupo you into next week, plushie-bear.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

1)http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/1610/pimpmogww1.jpg

2)http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/7987/pimpmogwithcarwithtextgh4.jpg

3)http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/672/moggotblingblingswithtete0.jpg

4)http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/2186/casinomogwithtextws9.jpg

5)http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/2088/pimpmoggotvotesplzwt1.jpg

The Party:
1) Pimp slaps Terra like a pro.
2) Umaro is completely under Mog's control...bitch, anyone?
3) Slam Dancin'!
4) Often seen cruising the streets of Narshe in a lowrider Magitek.
5) http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/mogpimp.jpg

3. What the Hell WAS Leon doing? http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=97401 Provide us with your best Conspiracy Theory.

BAMF: We all know Lionheart, the Dark Knight, is a rebel at heart. Let's face it, he's one of us, a BAMF. Let's look at exactly why he turned out this way. As a kid him and Maria were growing up brother and sister. Then one day his parents adopt this other boy. Why? Was he not a good enough son? Did his parents not like him? The seeds of anger begin to grow. Then in time Maria and Frionel start to grow feelings for each other. What's with that? This little orphan boy is stealing his sister from him. Anger grows stronger and jealousy seeps into his soul. Feeling abandoned by everyone and estranged to the place he grows up he secretly joins the Emperial Army and rises to the rank of Knight in the Emperors service. The Emperor allows him to spend time at home to help plan the destruction of Phin. Then the time comes for the Empire to take the land in it's dreaded sweep of power. Now the Dark Knight, he pretends to lead Frionel and Maria to safety along with their friend Guy. Really he leads them to a trap. Assuming their death, he leaves them to begin work on his Emperor's ship, the Dreadnaught. As it turns out, they aren't dead at all. They were revived by the Princess of Altea along with her Wizard friend Mihn. The Dark Knight doesn't realize they're still alive and have joined with the rebel forces until they come to stop the construction of the very ship he's in charge of supervising. Instead of stopping them there, he leaves to see how capable they are. Maybe if they can take the ship they can be strong enough to kill the emperor himself, leaving the throne free for him to assume power? This plan meets with great success! These new rebels kill the emperor and the Dark Knight takes control. All is well until they come for him. Then unforseen events transpire! The Emperor returns from the dead. With little choice, our Dark Knight plots to appeal to these rebels hearts so they take him in. All in time, he thinks. All in time they may take this undead Emperor down again, and I will help them, because once that's done I will take control again. It's only a matter of time.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/1661/whatleonisdoingcopyqv0.jpg

The Party: Leon was actually part of an underground resistance that was against the Exterminators. The Exterminators only goal in life is to unconfused all gender confused humans or GCH. Ron, the leader of the underground resistance, had to always live in fear of being found by the Exterminators since he was important for GCH. After a harsh battle with the Exterminators, Leon and his group, Vaan and Tidus, came across a shut down Exterminator and took it back to their hideout and after some tinkering around, got important data from it. They discovered that the Exterminators were planning on sending a new grade Exterminator to the year 1999 to find and kill Ron so the future would always be GCH free.

After Leon rewired the Exterminator, they sent it back to 1999 to stop the new grade Exterminator from killing young Ron. While young Ron and young Leon were playing let’s steal money from a cash station, they came across the new Exterminator and ran like hell after it started singing karaoke tunes. Then, the Exterminator old Ron sent back came like a light breeze blowing a feather around. It snuck up on the new grade Exterminator and shot it with a rubber band, destroying it. Unfortunately, while Ron was running from the karaoke machine he was run down by a moped however, Leon survived and then decided to rejoin the party.

[Psychotic]

who the hell did the PRMs have on Nerds? I begrudgingly say good show! Oh, Shads, was it you? I should not have given you the questions!

Still, Slade's pimp mog is better than theirs. :D

[Captain Maxx Power]

Our pimp mog is elite and you know it!

On related matters, kudos to the Party and BAMF for handing in such excellent submissions. Even though it probably means we'll lose severely, I'm still getting quite the kick out of them. The rusty chainsaw, whale riding Barbarians had me laughing for a good solid minute. :lol:

[Jessweeee♪]

I like mismatching my socks >=o

[Tavrobel]

Our pimp mog is elite and you know it!

Why is his glasses off-center with his face? Makes him look weird and unpimp.

[Rad Zak]

The Quickening and The Smell of Fear

1.We all know drugs are bad, right? Your job as EoFF politicians entails keeping our younger, more impressionable members away from drugs. Demonstrate your ability to find an evil drug reference in the nu-gen final fantasies like Levian here (http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=59430) and expose the designers at Square as the low-lives they are to prove your worth!

BAMF: Further woes for SQUEENIX

Japanese game company Square-Enix has sunk even further into ill repute today, after its chief financial officer was arrested on innumerable counts of fraud after several dozen people were found crowded together on a rock.

A suspicious increase in the number of travellers citing “Dream Tokyo” as their destination prompted police to conduct an investigation, and discovered that everyone who had boarded the plane bound for “Dream Tokyo” had also signed all of their money over to a Mr. Yebon-san. Tracking the plane by its black box, police discovered a large crowd of tripped out individuals, all squashed together for the last two days, on a small island located somewhere near Hawaii. Emergency services were flown in to take the victims to the nearest hospital, where the less affected people told what happened; after being invited to a free lunch, the crowd was incapacitated with food laced with the drug known as “Sin’s Toxin”, before being cajoled into signing their assets over to the fraudster, and carted off to an “Dream Tokyo”, apparently an ideal paradise, free from the conflict and strife of the modern world.

Samples of “Sin’s Toxin” were sent to the Board of Harmful and Eccentric Drugs for extensive testing. A spokeswoman for BHED has reported that its effects include causing one’s ‘head to go all foggy-like’ and have ‘crazy dreams’. It was revealed to be identical to a chemical found in whale blubber, and similar side-effects can be experienced by coming in contact with whales.

The unnamed Square employee was led away from the cameras, escorted by police to ward off overzealous paparazzi and vengeful family members, and is expected to be imprisoned until the time of his trial.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff8/fmvshots-disc4/01-the-sacrifice/00002.jpg

Here we see Adel in a gigantic tank with a bunch of glowing stingy things. What exactly are the string things doing you may wonder? Well you know what? They're feeding her steroids! :mad2:

http://www.ffdream.com/encyclopedie/images/adel.jpg

Can Adel make it even more obvious?He's She's supposed to look more womanly! And look at those muscles. How do you get such things? I'll tell you how. Steroids! She doesn't even have boobs (or a shirt on, mind you). Disgusting. He's so ashamed by this fact that he needs to use Rinoa to get the boys. Awful. Take it away.

The Party: "Zanarkand, a dream of the Fayth? More like a bad drug trip if you ask me! Let’s face it, FFX was a pretty freaky game, and only a really drug-addled mind could come up with a costume as stupid as Tidus’, or a Bahamut with a giant spinning wheel on its back.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the water was laced with the stuff. Maybe it would explain the Hypellos’ constantly slurred speech, or why Brother’s so hyperactive. The Bevelle Temple Cloister of Trials can hardly be the product of a sober mind, can it? And it’s not as if our own characters are completely clean, either. Wakka’s accent is a little too laid back, if you catch my drift. And don’t try and pretend that Tidus and Yuna didn’t ‘lose their heads’ a little when they went swimming in Macalania Lake.

Don’t even get me started on X-2, either. From the opening FMV, the whole game concept seemed as if it had been thought up during a particularly ‘free-spirited’ brainstorming session over at Square-Enix. How else do you explain the massage mini-game, or the ‘Itchy’ status effect?"


2. Create a hip new character for Final Fantasy XIII. There is a 100% chance that Square Enix will actually put the winning character into the game!

BAMF:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Breine/diverse103.jpg

Foa Avalonus always dreamt of life on the highway, and after achieving the dubious honour of acceptance into the Bamfordian CyberRollers, was able to live her desires. Although life with the most notorious Road Gang on the streets was perfect for her dishonest nature and sawn-off shotlaser "Samuel", she still felt somewhat unfulfilled. But soon adventure was to smack her right in the teeth like a bolt of Lightning...


Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/Ashley-pie/hophophoph.jpg

This is Gregorandfreed. He's part florist and part stomper. His special attack involves a stomping with the use of his size 400 feet. His regular attacks involve pansying up the enemy and poisoning using various pesticides and insecticides.

The Party: Now that we’ve accepted that the folks at SE are a load of hallucinating junkies, I don’t think it’s too much of a leap to suggest that their next character creation will look something like this:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/joan.jpg

If you thought FFX-2 was full of fanservice, then you’re in for a shock. In FFXIII, SE plan to actually include EoFFers in the game. This handsome fellow is a veritable Frankenstein’s Monster of EoFF body parts, including the heads of Old Manus, Agent Proto, themagicroundabout and Meat Puppet. He attacks with his fearsome Kishi Tentacles, and is protected from harm by his Maxx Power +1trillion Tights of Crotch-Hugging and RSL’s Hat. Obviously, his four heads give him a slight split-personality problem, and it is rumoured that one of the heads betrays the party at some point, and re-emerges in the final dungeon as the ultimate villain. The remaining heads then set aside their differences to destroy Mecha-Proto together.

3. Find a character or person with hair even more bizarre than Final Fantasy X’s Seymour, and explain why this cat is that much wilder. Obviously, providing a picture along with a brief description is optimal.

BAMF:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Breine/Crazy20Hair.jpg

For generations the monolith of steel and stone residing in New York harbour has struck fear into the hearts of millions around the globe.
As such, only the truest of Badass Mothersmurfers would even dare to copy the hairstyle of the redoubtable beast without fear of weighty retribution!
For such reasons was Olga Von-MusselDorf, a Kolovniostanian Waste Disposal Engineer, cast from her village in the Kolov Backlands.
When questioned, residents cited a fear of "The Coming of the Great Green Foot" as their justification of her expulsion.
Left without a home, Olga recently made a pilgrimage to New York, where citygoers avoided her on the street,and gave her free hotdogs.
The Statue of Liberty declined to comment.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/Ashley-pie/hair.jpg

I don't think he'll be getting a date with hair like that.[/QUOTE]

The Party: If it’s crazy hair you want, look no further than Dennis Keith Rodman. The man’s hair is more than just outrageous, you see; it actually has a life of its own. Sources close to D-Rod have informed me that his head is not covered in ordinary human hair, but a mysterious alien parasite that is able to change its colour and shape, chameleon-like, in order to send messages to its comrades in outer space. A few of these messages have been deciphered below:

http://www.freshtrends.com/mas_assets/www/celebrity-DENNIS-RODMAN-3.jpg

“I have discovered a suitable host. It is only a matter of time before I gain full knowledge of the secrets of the Earth People.”

http://espn.go.com/i/magazine/new/metro_dennis_rodman.jpg

“Human habits are indeed fascinating. I am very much enjoying the Televisual Transmission they call ‘Lost’.”

http://www.askmen.com/fashion/trends/pictures/13e_fashion_men.JPG

“Have any of you guys ever tried Iced Tea? That stuff is awesome.”

[Psychotic]

Ooh, good answers all round on this one. But, of course, I prefer ours. :cool: Joan (as the EoFF mis-match is called) is king. Uh...queen. I don't know.

[Jessweeee♪]

Hmm....one party dissed my socks and another dissed my man >=o

[fire_of_avalon]

Oh man, all of you seriously rock my world so hard, but I am so happy my party did such great work. Y'all make me so proud. :cry:

[Rad Zak]

The World is Square…and Enix

1. Write a song parody to the tune of any song written by Hanson, The Backstreet Boys, or Daphne and Celeste. The parody must have to do with a game covered in “The World is Square…and Enix.” BONUS: Five points will automatically be added to your final vote tally if at least one member of the group sings the song and posts it, as well.

BAMF: Harle's Song (To the tune of "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"

I'm nobody
But I'm cute.
I'm nobody
But I am a clown.
I don't know how to frown!

I look like a teenaged girl
But I'm not of this world.
My name is Harle and I speak French
I think that Kid chick is a wench.
Do I like that girl?
Noooo
Should I kick her ass?
Yeaaah
Do you know what I even do?
Nooo
Do you really think I'm cute?
Dammit you better think I'm cute.

I'm nobody
But I'm cute.
I'm nobody
But I am a clown.
I don't know how to frown!

I give you info you miss in game
It seems to be my only function.
Why'd these dragons make me a clown anyway?
And what does it mean when it says I'm "connected to them?"

I'm a mystery
Yeaaah
I have a cheesy name
Yeaaah
My pants weird!
Yeaaah
Who picked this outfit and
can I kill them now?


I'm nobody
But I'm cute.
I'm nobody
But I am a clown.
I don't know how to frown!

To all the fans of Chrono Trigger
What's my purpose, do you figure?
Am I magic? Am I from the past?
Or am I here just to represent the Badass?

I'm nobody
But I'm cute.
I'm nobody
But I am a clown.
A Badass Mothersmurfing Clown!

Pirate Red Chin Patrol:

Kingdom Hearts is good
Must play in da hood
So those geeks stay away
I play it dat way

Kingdom Hearts is cool
Unless if you're a fool
Gansta style to get a lay
'Cause I play it dat way

[Chorus:]
Gonna get
The pimpinest key blade
Gonna get
Some potions for some aid
And then buy
A hoe so sora can get laid
I play it dat way


Goofie is really great
For use as a bait
I lose less hp that way
'Cause I play it dat way

[Chorus]
Gonna get
The pimpinest key blade
Gonna get
Some potions for some aid
And then buy
A hoe so sora can get laid
I play it dat way



Donald can cast spells that burn their hearts
Or freeze them to the core, brr
No matter the damage
It still helps me
Beat the one enemy

I can cast fire
With my jacked lighter
Kingdom
Kingdom Kingdom Kingdom



Hearts is a pimping game
Some people think its really lame
Gonna curb stomp them till their shamed
You will always here me say
I play it dat way

[Chorus]
Gonna get
The pimpinest key blade
Gonna get
Some potions for some aid
And then buy
A hoe so sora can get laid
I play it dat way

Gonna get
The pimpinest key blade
Gonna get
Some potions for some aid
And then buy
A hoe so sora can get laid
I play it dat way
I play it dat way

The Party: based on Backstreet Boys' I Want it That Way

C'mon and listen
The Hearts; surpression
Donald got me guessin'
What the hell is he sayin'?

Voices, like nails on a chalk board
Donald, what's he sayin'?
He messin' up the plot
He's got a messed up face

Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a heartless
Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want my Keyblade

Don't start, with Goofy
They know you retarted
What's worse, sellin' out at market
Is he a dog or what?

Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a heartless
Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want my Keyblade

Down on all fours sniffin' Sora's butt
Now whos next, that Leon's up
Don't get me wrong, I understand the story you know
But everybody knows Squall went hard when he was an emo

Talkin to himself in the head
Cuttin' himself those was the days
Leon is like Cloud
But with a scar
Sephiroth makes me want to

Aeris, she trippin'
This game, it's messin'
Yuffie, you've got to learn
C'mon, just wait, your turn

Don't wanna hear you say
Ain't nothin' but a heartless
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Why won't Riku ever be the same?
I want my Keyblade

Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a heartless
Tell me why?
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want my Keyblade
Axel loves Roxas, but he can't seem to say
I want my Keyblade
I want my Keyblade

2. Explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts, Xenogears, or Chrono Trigger in exactly 100 words. You must also use these words in your synopsis: gnarly, neuroscientist, gash, oedipal. Obviously, correctly using the words is encouraged, and changing them for grammatical correctness or tense is allowed.

BAMF: Kingdom Hearts is about a boy called Sora, who joins forces with a stupid dog (Goofy) and an annoying duck (Donald), in his search for Riku and his "gash", Kairi. On their adventures, the trio run into a bunch of heartless and retarded Disney villains. Unfortunately, Riku turns evil and forces Sora into a badass battle over Kairi’s heart. Once Riku is beaten Sora challenges the neuroscientist Ansem, who is oedipal with and wants a heart of darkness. After a gnarly battle in which Sora beats Ansem down four times, he finally gets killed by a crappy beam of light from Kingdom Hearts.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: Chrono Trigger is a game staring a character named Crono, who was obviously not very important to the plot as nobody really felt like including his speech into the script, and a bunch of gnarly people/frogs/robots/transvestites/monsters who want to save and/or eat and/or kill him. Much more important are however Marle’s dad, who suffers the reverse form of Oedipal Syndrom towards his daughter, the wannabee, yet never-to-get-there (thanks Lynx<3) neuroscientist Lucca, and the gorgeous stuntgirl Schala. The later character has received a special place in the hentai magazines of Square-Enix freaks for saving Crono’s gash from the giant crab Lavos.

The Party: Our gnarly main character, Sora, wakes up from his nap. Along comes Roxas, aka Blonde Emo Boy, who seems baffled, and meets a girl named Naminé and falls in love. He also has an oedipus complex, so he’s gonna try to become part of Sora. Sora and friends, weird dog and the Mighty Ducks, travel from world to world until they meet Organization XIII, a neuroscientist-super-saiyan clan. Beb and Sora fight, and Sora gashes Beb with his wicked sick giant metal key. At the end, Sora is reunited with his chum, Riku, who's really Trunks from the future in disguise.

3. You need to have a silver tongue to be a good politician, so give us a speech on why you think blowing the crap out of EoFF and to hell with those idiot environmentalists is the right way forward for the community, or give us a protest speech to drum up support for the "Save EoFF" movement

BAMF: Xenogears for President

Eyes on Final Fantasy has really gone to seed recently. And you know why? It’s because EoFF has become stagnant.
I mean really, how many times can you discuss how to revive Aeris (answer: why would you want to?) or revive General Leo (answer: an unholy arcane ritual on the winter solstice) or how to make Khimari useful (answer: it’s impossible)?
Eyes on Final Fantasy needs to move in an entirely new direction. This bold new vision for the future is based around one simple, shining concept: Square-Enix has more games than just Final Fantasy.
You gasp in shock, yes, but it is true. And in order to move EoFF in exciting new directions, we must embrace this blasphemous thinking and move forward into a new tomorrow!
And by this, I mean talk about Xenogears. Seriously, how can you not talk about Xenogears? Xenogears is WAY better than the Final Fantasy games (except Final Fantasy Tactics. We love you Tactics! Have my babies!). It has a 100+ hour plot which is way more confusing than VII and VIII’s plots COMBINED. How awesome is that? Not to mention its longer than both of them combined IN THE FIRST DISC. Plus it has giant robots. Everybody loves giant robots.
The point here is that to save EoFF we must think progressively! And by that I mean we need to talk about a game that came out over 7 years ago!
No more of this talk about “Cloud” or “Squall” or how “manly” they are, which is funny ‘cause they look kinda “girly,” which is the polar opposite of “manly.”
All talk henceforth must be about Fei, or Elly, or Grahf, or even that bloody pink Chuchu. Because without this kind of talk EoFF will fall. And if you want EoFF to fall, you’re siding with Communism or perhaps riding with Hitler. Or both.

Pirate Red Chin Patrol: My fellow hearties and sea dogs. I want to talk with you about something; Elitism. It’s a dirty, filthy, disgusting word. The very fabric of its meaning can exult the weak and sicken the strong. Like a slow parasitic disease, it’s worked its way into our very lives, infecting all those it comes across. Twisting the once great into power-hungry madmen, and the masses into mindless proletariats. A dark shadow cast upon the entirety of our little community, it consumes, it digests, and it leaves only a trail of repetitiveness and mediocrity in its wake. Those that may arrive to bring about the end of its reign of terror are subsequently quashed under the collective foot of this frightening monster. Any sense of progress and diversity are halted almost before they can begin by this lumbering beast. Original thought is seen as alien and unwanted, whilst continuing trends are perpetually embraced by a populous unaware of it’s self-made prison.

That’s why we’ve gotta blow everything up, pronto!

See, this community of ours for too long has been subject to continuing trends of unnecessary member approval and worship. How many times do we have to really say we love Kishi? Do we really need another “Mold Anus” joke? Is RSL’s beard really all that great? Probably, but that’s not the point. What we see throughout our community is an unwillingness to embrace the entirety of our forum members. So many people come and go dissatisfied because they refused to conform to the normality that has stagnated our dear members. Think of all of the potential new members that we could cultivate in our fine community if only we were to welcome all with open arms and open minds. It is only those who are willing to fall into line and rehash the same methods of community appreciation that become notable and wanted within our community. Those who choose to be themselves and defy the establishment are always the “fringe members” those who try to interact with others but are shown only scorn for their actions. We must not allow these people to be subjugated anymore. It is time for a paradigm shift in our minds and souls, and only a whole boat load of explosives is going to accomplish that.

It is only through the chaos and anarchy of rebirth through destruction that we can hope to level the playing field for these new initiates. The system is too corrupt, too stale and too Elitist for a gradual change. Any kind of positive change will be met with the same negative response that has caused this problem in the first place. Every single element has been set in place to prevent such a radical change from occurring. A renewal of the system that has gone against what it original set out to do, a revolution not evolution, is the only logical solution. It will remove those from power from their ivory towers. It will free those under the spell of Elitism from their reverie of oppression. And it will finally allow those who have lurked in the shadows under forceful containment to truly mingle with the masses and let their voices be heard. It will be a new beginning for our community, a chance to forget the mistakes of the past and concentrate on a truly equal society where titles such as “Oldbies” or “Newbies” are one and the same. Where all members of a community are given equal chance to become part of something gloriously diverse regardless of their time spent on the forums. A place where no one need wallow in a lack of User Notes or reoccurring jokes that make no sense to anyone but those who started it five years ago.

This world can be yours my friends. You need only press the plunger.

The Party: My fellow EoFF members, there can only possibly be one way forward. Effort to organize, effort to succeed, effort to stand and fight, all useless as long as we are so unjustly chained to that which brings us down.

Environmentalists. We must destroy this plague that greets EoFF on such a daily basis. Useless cretins they are and they threaten that which is the only way to forward ourselves. Let us destroy them, for we need to better ourselves. What could possibly stand in our way, if only we could unite under a common banner! A banner of might and righteousness, destruction commence! Go forth, and scour the land, for EoFF’s comeuppance has come to us.

Why should we stand any longer here? Are you not outraged by them? Where is the fire that I once have seen from you? Do you wish to be slaves? Of course not! You wish to be free, do you not? Condemned to useless labor, a eternal phantasm of the seven circles of Hell, flee, and come to that which is right, for the environmentalists be destroyed! Only a full incineration can be of any hope for our future.

Clean yourself, and lend your ability to the destruction of EoFF! Our community is more precious than to be bound under chains of our memories. Don’t be a puppet, for you have the will not to be, but rather, live, and live freely, destroying the remnants of the past, letting them sink loose into the depths of the heart. There is light in all of you, beyond the darkness, for it is not your essence. Nay, it is your right to live…

Destruction must reign and commence. To go on, can only be one thing, to fight off the yoke of the oppressors. At the end of the path, there is a forest, and a cave. Set ablaze them both, and nothing may stand in your way to detract us! Those Elitists! Leeza, Behold the Void, Loony BoB, Azar, DK, and all the others! Strike them down with your fury! Destroy them all! Break off the shackles and the chains, be free!

Even those environmentalists cannot stand in our way now. Choose freedom, and embrace the destruction of those who hold us down. We are community. We are the Party. Power of numbers, power of righteousness, combined, unstoppable power and decision, decide to be free, this must be your decision. Fight them all off, those insignificant little twits. Jackhammers and Walruses, they blind you from the truth. Do you enjoy staring at shadows on the wall? The light is bright, and it is blinding, but give it a chance and it consumes, makes you whole, makes you free, free from oppression and tyranny.

But these insects would rather you suck your own blood from your partner’s eyes. Destruction! Let it flow forth. This is your only chance.

[Tavrobel]

Ohh, God, our World is SE got screwed.

[DK]

Kingdom Hearts is about a boy called Sora, who joins forces with a stupid dog (Goofy) and an annoying duck (Donald), in his search for Riku and his "gash", Kairi.

If I was giving the win to people by myself, BAMF would have won the entire thing right there.

[Psychotic]

Did nobody sing, then? Oh thank god!

[DK]

Maxx did, apparently, but he said loben was supposed to be mixing it and that never surfaced.

[Psychotic]

I figured he might. Thanks loben for that lucky escape!

If only you'd said party member instead of group member... :)

[Jessweeee♪]

1. No one sang.
2. You all failed to mention Threads of Fate in a positive way (or any way at all).

My vote goes to no one >=o

[Freya]

The red pirate mage's speech got boring. Sorry. I couldn't read it all.... It just was.... boring.

HAHA I told you loben was a noob.

[Psychotic]

wait what? are we only voting for one party overall, rather than a party for each section?

[DK]

Your favourite party for each section, if you please.

[Ashley Schovitz]

That was a good crack on Dennis Rodman.

[Iceglow]

You do realize writing that perverted battle to the death RP will forever stain my soul.....the things I do for the party.

[Iceglow]

noob question who are we sending our votes to then?

[Christmas]

ME! :bigsmile:

kk, joking

[Psychotic]

Rad Zak.

[TyphoonThaReapa]

A'yo son! We got this in the bag! But I must admit, the other parties got some funny :skull::skull::skull::skull: up there!!!! The moggle pimps had me gasping for air with laughter...Priceless...:cool:

[Captain Maxx Power]

Whomever managed to work my tights into their entry, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't think my ribs have been so tickled in a long time


The red pirate mage's speech got boring. Sorry. I couldn't read it all.... It just was.... boring.

HAHA I told you loben was a noob.

O gee, sorry I didn't mention Kishi or RSL or Psy or Mold Anus or anyone else every five seconds. I forget people lose their concentration around here if you don't name drop constantly.


I figured he might. Thanks loben for that lucky escape!

If only you'd said party member instead of group member... :)

Hey, my singing is totally amazing. I taught Michael Bolton everything he knows. For the record I did expect loben to hand in the files, since I sent them twice over, but hey ho. The problem is I separated out the files into different singing sections (back-up, main etc.) so I can't just post up a single file, otherwise it'd sound odd (p.s. no jokes about it sounding odd even mixed together aii?).

[theundeadhero]

Here's what I think:

The Party is going to win general. They took all three questions. I wasn't really amazed in question one or two by the other two parties. I really liked BAMFs cliche character entry, but Party's psuedo-sexual story is going to take it.

For Staff and Reference the first task goes to PRM. I liked their comic the best. The Party had the better answers of the other two, so once again The Party take it.

BAMF takes Nerds in Paradise. For the first task, theirs was the only one that was interesting. The rest were complete nonsense. Task two? Mog doesn't have a car, bitches, or members votes. He also never pimp slapped anybody or wore purple suits. The other parties had to make stuff up to make Mog look like a pimp, whwhle BAMF took straight from the character himself. I like PRM story about the dark knight the best.

I'm not sure what to think about The Quickening and The Smell of Fear.

With The World is Square... and Enix The Party got the first task. That was a great song. BAMF had a better story review. I haven't gotten around to reading those long essays because it's lunchtime and I'll run out of time if I do.

[Ultima Shadow]

Crap, I'm late! :greenie:

who the hell did the PRMs have on Nerds? I begrudgingly say good show! Oh, Shads, was it you? I should not have given you the questions!

Still, Slade's pimp mog is better than theirs. :DDon't forget that I completed everything by myself in one day, while the other parties had an entire group who could work on it for an entire week (YES, I KNOW IT DOESN'T MATTER BUT I JUST LIKE TO REMIND YOU ALL ABOUT JUST HOW AWESOME I AM :hyper:)! If I would have worked on it for an entire week, I would have put a lot more thought into the tasks. Especially the first task, which is just a bad excuse to not actually come up with a good argument. I have to admit that I completely lacked inspiration for that one. :greenie:


Why is his glasses off-center with his face? Makes him look weird and unpimp.STFU! :p



Now, for my own thoughts on the submissions:

General: The Party will win this one easily. They had the best submission for all 3 tasks, in my oppinion.

Staff and Reference: I belive The Party's going to take this one as well. Even though the Pirate Red Mages had the funniest comic, The Party completely pwned the other 2 tasks.

Nerds in Paradise: I'm really not sure about this one. The first task is won by BAMF while the third task is won by PRM. The second task is pretty even though, so it's hard to tell which one the majority will choose.

The Quickening and The Smell of Fear: Another one that's pretty even. I'd say PRM or the Party will take this one, though.

The World is Square…and Enix: BAMF, probably. The first task is pretty even, but I'd say BAMF wins the other 2 tasks.

[Psychotic]

Oh predicting elections is easy. Observe:

We will somehow lose by one vote. That's what always happens.

[Christmas]

Psychotic gonna sweep again

[Psychotic]

Wrong competition, sweetie.

[Christmas]

Psychotic sweep every competition.

[Psychotic]

Yeah, the forums are getting rather bored with my domination of the Elections and the Screen Name Tournament. My unsurpassed 0 victories will go down in EoFF history as truly great.

[TyphoonThaReapa]

Yeah Psy, I wouldn't be surprised if we lose even if we have most of the best material...

[Christmas]

Real name: Paul Von Handsomestein
Nick names: Psychotic, Fizzlebo McFlufferbunny, Psychotic With A Hat, Neurotic.
Birth: April 30, 1987
Registration: August 15, 2002
Knighted: May 5, 2006

Psychotic was born almost two decades ago while his parents were performing a duet at the Eurovision song contest dressed as schoolgirls with soaking wet shirts. He spent the next few years of his life living and working in a monastery somewhere in China building balance and upper-body strength, before signing up for a voyage to England, where he hoped to open a Chinese take-away that also incorporated human flesh and other Canadian delicacies. Unfortunately, he found the Chinese take-away market swamped, and lived as a hermit somewhere in Wales for a bit. Here he learned of a coming evil from an old Welsh fortune teller, telling him that the Avrilocalypse would come, and that he alone could stop this. Prior to "discovering" this, he had taken up sniffing glue and drinking lighter fluid. Anyway, after waking up in a place resembling Sea World in a rather compromising position, he knew it was his mission to move back to England, requisition a computer from an elderly couple as they happily took their new purchase from PC World to their car, join EoFF, and start BAoTW as a means of revolution. The rest, as they say, is history.

Defining Quote:


"I needed a superhero identity, but I decided it needed to reflect my costume, and so I became hoody man, with the power to put my hood up to show that I mean business. I can hear the crims talking now. "Whoa, hoody man has his hood up! He clearly means business, so let's stay away!" I appointed my smurfed up watch to be my sidekick, because I think it would annoy supervillains if they got to their location of evil over an hour before they had to actually do evil."


Awards Won:

Ciddies:

Forums Staff Highwind Award — End of Year 2006 Ciddies
Best Custom Title — Mid-Year 2006 Ciddies
Funniest Member — Mid-Year 2006 Ciddies
MLT Be driving the bus — Mid-Year 2006 Ciddies
Best Veteran — End of Year 2005 Ciddies
Best Poster — End of Year 2005 Ciddies
Best Spammer — End of Year 2005 Ciddies
Funniest Member — End of Year 2005 Ciddies
Best Male — Mid-Year 2005 Ciddies
Best Spammer — Mid-Year 2005 Ciddies
Funniest Member — Mid-Year 2005 Ciddies
Most likely to get together (split with Monkey) — Mid-Year 2005 Ciddies
Best Male — End of Year 2004 Ciddies
Best Spammer — End of Year 2004 Ciddies
MLT Be driving the bus — End of Year 2004 Ciddies
Be the leader of an EoFF underground — June 2004 Ciddies

Multi-Ciddies:

3 time Best Spammer
3 time Funniest Member
2 time Best Male
2 time MLT Be driving the bus

Others:

Mr Eyes on Final Fantasy — 2003
EoFF Decathlon — 2005
Famous Ciddies Quotes:


"That's suprising. But happy. Very happy. *checks who I am up against... and winces* I am soooooooo going to come last."

SO WHO'S THE VICTOR? WHO'S THE MOST AWESOME! WHO! WHO? :mad2:

[Captain Maxx Power]

Oh predicting elections is easy. Observe:

We will somehow lose by one vote. That's what always happens.

Hey, I'm meant to be the underdog competitor here. Quit knicking my style boi!

[Psychotic]

:blahblah:Notice that no electoral victories are on there!

And stop living in the past you old bat.

Most recent Ciddies.
Christmas:
* Best Member
* Best Female
* Best Regular
* Evilest Member
* Best Avatar
* Best Signature
* Funniest Member
* Weirdest Member
* Most Likely To Win a Ciddie for the very first time
* Most likely to get together (split with Old Manus)

Psychotic:
Zero Ciddies hurray hurray!

took you 1 Ciddies sessions to do what I achieved in 4. :strut:



Oh predicting elections is easy. Observe:

We will somehow lose by one vote. That's what always happens.

Hey, I'm meant to be the underdog competitor here. Quit knicking my style boi!Oh no don't worry. We're always the favourites, too. That is precisely why we lose.

[Captain Maxx Power]

Actually I just realised that I'll be going away the day the voting stops (the monday). When are the actual results going to be published (baring extension due to low voter turn-out?).

[Ultima Shadow]

SO WHO'S THE VICTOR? WHO'S THE MOST AWESOME! LET THE DOGS OUT? WHO! WHO? :mad2:Fixed.:greenie:

[TyphoonThaReapa]

I DESERVE TO BE NOTICE!!!!!!!!!!!:mad2:

[Cz]

I predict that at least 70% of ballots will be spoiled. That is to say, they will be spoiled in the sense that they will not vote for The Party in every category. Democracy doesn't work, guys!

[Christmas]

SO WHO'S THE VICTOR? WHO'S THE MOST AWESOME! LET THE DOGS OUT? WHO! WHO? :mad2:Fixed.:greenie:

:mad2:

[Captain Maxx Power]

I'm amazed that the once mighty Party has seemingly lapsed into a self-depricating melancholy about their believed imminent defeat. Then again, Psy said it, so the rest of you have to fall in line I suppose. Bloody Elitists :rolleyes2

[Cz]

I'm amazed that the once mighty Party has seemingly lapsed into a self-depricating melancholy about their believed imminent defeat. Then again, Psy said it, so the rest of you have to fall in line I suppose. Bloody Elitists :rolleyes2There's nothing self-deprecating about it. There's nothing wrong with our party, and we fully deserve to win these elections. It's the system that's the problem, as past elections have shown. In 2005, for instance, the BAoTW Party received the most votes in total, and fully deserved to be crowned the victor; yet it was cruelly denied by our broken system. The will of the people was blatantly ignored, and EoFF had to suffer another year of Newbie/#eoff tyranny. The following year, when the elections were a two horse race between the Hot Air Balloons Are Actually Pretty Neat Party and TUTU, the powers that be didn't even allow the event to get to the voting stage. This colossal failure of democracy meant that the people were screwed again, and the rightful winners were denied their place as supreme overlords of EoFF. Knowing this, it's not entirely unreasonable to assume that events will conspire against The Party this time around, and that the injustice of previous years will repeat itself.

[Renmiri]

I know for a fact that Diebold machines are easily tampered with. This election was a sham, a sham I tell you!

Wait... Oh, we're talking about EoFF elections ? Nevermind... ;)

Nevertheless: Demand paper ballots!!!!!!

[Psychotic]

I'm amazed that the once mighty Party has seemingly lapsed into a self-depricating melancholy about their believed imminent defeat. The history of the elections really does speak for itself.

I've decided to aim for coming second by one vote, which I can suggest was influenced by the Rad duo's obvious favouritism towards the BAMF Party. Should this outcome occur, it will be the greatest victory we've ever achieved and it'll end in a lot of celebratory mass spamming and a triumphant banning spree of the supposed "winners".

smurfing foa. She's like some sort of bad luck charm for me. Megan, you stay the smurf out of the elections next year. I mean it. :irked:

[Tavrobel]

Someone launch the ban-cannon!

[TyphoonThaReapa]

HEY!!!!!!! TEAM LEADER!!!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT!!!!!! WE HAVE TO SHOW THESE SMURFING LOSERS THAT WE ARE THE TRUE WINNER REGARDLESS OF VOTE!!!!!!!!! SMURF THE SYSTEM!!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!

[theundeadhero]

Oh look, he's embarrassed.

[Psychotic]

HEY!!!!!!! TEAM LEADER!!!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT!!!!!! WE HAVE TO SHOW THESE SMURFING LOSERS THAT WE ARE THE TRUE WINNER REGARDLESS OF VOTE!!!!!!!!! SMURF THE SYSTEM!!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!That was the message I was trying to get across. :p

To quote Tucker Max:
I was like that Korean boxer who "beat" Roy Jones Jr. in the '88 Olympics. Yeah, I got the gold medal, but everyone in the world knows I didn't really win.

[TyphoonThaReapa]

HEY!!!!!!! TEAM LEADER!!!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT!!!!!! WE HAVE TO SHOW THESE SMURFING LOSERS THAT WE ARE THE TRUE WINNER REGARDLESS OF VOTE!!!!!!!!! SMURF THE SYSTEM!!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!That was the message I was trying to get across. :p

To quote Tucker Max:
I was like that Korean boxer who "beat" Roy Jones Jr. in the '88 Olympics. Yeah, I got the gold medal, but everyone in the world knows I didn't really win.


It's just that your attitude sucked why you were trying to make that point. Like we already loss...

[Psychotic]

But we already have lost. Rad Zak told me so before the elections even began.

[Tavrobel]

Ohh, yeah? Well, Rad Zak is a little bitch. How does he like that!?

[Psychotic]

Probably a lot more than he should.

[Iceglow]

The party wins or shlup dies......Raistlin you shouldn't say such things.....wait BoB too and Rad......wow you really want us to win huh?

[Jessweeee♪]

SO WHO'S THE VICTOR? WHO'S THE MOST AWESOME! LET THE DOGS OUT? WHO! WHO? STOLE THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR??? :mad2:

Fixed for real reals.

[loben]

.....moose

[Enjolras]

Sorry to spoil your fun guys, but do we vote for individual sections, or do we just cast one general vote?

[Del Murder]

Hmm, isn't The Party's General #3 borderline inappropriate, or is that just how RPs go? I was about to vote for them but those last parts were pretty...graphic.

Still have the other categories to read, I'll try to vote before the deadline.

[Ultima Shadow]

Sorry to spoil your fun guys, but do we vote for individual sections, or do we just cast one general vote?
Your favourite party for each section, if you please.

[Psychotic]

Hmm, isn't The Party's General #3 borderline inappropriate, or is that just how RPs go? I was about to vote for them but those last parts were pretty...graphic.Iceglow wrote it. (I created the characters though!) He's an admin of some big RP site thing so he knows what he's doing.

[Iceglow]

Cheers blame me so I get banned :P

It was written based on a brief given to me by the generous leader of my party....I cannot say anything more than that.

[Psychotic]

Nobody's getting banned. I'm just assuring Del Murder, a rather squeamish layman, that this is how they do it in RP town.

[Iceglow]

Well yeah if he wants gory stuff I ought to post the description of my Ghoul character where he begins eating his dead friends......

[Del Murder]

I'll pass.

[Del Murder]

Comments on Staff & Reference:

I like how the Pirate Party's Staff #1 poked fun at randomness based humor and then their #2 was exactly that.

DP was not banned for making second accounts. He was a second account.

Otherwise, very good stuff from The Party, though I thought my comic was the best. :cool:

Comments on NIP:

Good stuff from the Pirates. I can't believe my own party badmouthed Mog!

Quickening/SoF:

I think one of The Pirate's images is a bad link. :eek:

This one was overall pretty weak, except for the Dennis Rodman stuff. That was great.

The World is SE:

BAMF our entry was 103 words! Blasphemy! But our song was best. I wish I had gotten this one.

What does the last question have to do with Square-Enix?

Final Tally: Pirates - 2, The Party - 2, BAMF - 1

[Iceglow]

THE SHOCK THE OUTRAGE HE DOUBLE POSTED PSY BAN HIM!!! :P

[Del Murder]

I do what ever the smurf I want. It's the BAMF way!

[Psychotic]

I thought that was the Quina way.

[Del Murder]

Quina is BAMF fo life!

[Tavrobel]

What does the last question have to do with Square-Enix?

It doesn't.

[Del Murder]

Then why is it in that section?

[Ultima Shadow]

Oh crap. It seems like I'll be off for a week or so. :greenie:

So... I don't really mind if you push the date for the voting-period a bit... so I'll be back before it's all over. :cool:

[Captain Maxx Power]

Next time I may make an Anti-Elitist party, just to cheese off people even more than usual over my pointless crusade against the popular clique of the forums.

[Anaisa]

Next time I may make an Anti-Elitist party, just to cheese off people even more than usual over my pointless crusade against the popular clique of the forums.But what if they fight back by welcoming you into their popularity clique? They could make a: "let's make unpopular people popular party".

[theundeadhero]

Maxx Power is ineligible to battle any sort of elitism in any form. He's won a ciddie before.

[Captain Maxx Power]

Maxx Power is ineligible to battle any sort of elitism in any form. He's won a ciddie before.

A ciddie. It's hardly a record, unlike some people *points at signature*

[Psychotic]

You're living in the past, bro. 2005? I was the goddamned king of this forum. Mothafuckin' emperor. Now I'm a washed up has-been, alternating between rehab and TV treats such as Celebrity Big Brother.

[Captain Maxx Power]

You're living in the past, bro. 2005? I was the goddamned king of this forum. Mothasmurfin' emperor. Now I'm a washed up has-been, alternating between rehab and TV treats such as Celebrity Big Brother.

The largest election party and 15k+ user notes says that's an Elitist lie.

[Psychotic]

Same size as BAMF imho. :roll:

And does this mean that Meat Puppet and kikimm are King and Queen Elitist? :confused:

PS: for £32,000, in which year were most of my user notes created?

A) 2004 - B) 2005
C) 2006 - D) 2007

[Captain Maxx Power]

Same size as BAMF imho. :roll:

And does this mean that Meat Puppet and kikimm are King and Queen Elitist? :confused:

Sure, why not. I pretty much base my Elitism labelling on a combination of User Notes and number of forum references per post.

[Psychotic]

That means you have an elitist in your party. The hypocrisy of it all!

[Discord]

General: Pirate
Staff: Party
Nerds: Pirates, big time
Quick: BASM
SE: Pirates

Still accepting bribes and selling votes.

[theundeadhero]

So in other words your hatred of Elitism is based on your delusion of what Elitism on EOFF is? *shakes head*

[Del Murder]

The true Elitists are all gone from this forum. I managed to pick up the pieces and usurp their power, and now I and a handful of other staff safely run things from behind the scenes.

Psycho is no elitist. I could easily crush him and his party with little effort, but I don't because I'm not really that bad a guy.

[Tavrobel]

The people with true power are indeed all gone. Only Admins and those with server access are capable of true power. Fortunately, they have all gone.

[Del Murder]

Here's a fun fact: spdude was an account created by the EoFF Elite in order to maintain order. We felt Sean was losing his edge.

[Psychotic]

Psycho is no elitist. I could easily crush him and his party with little effort, but I don't because I'm not really that bad a guy.Oh you think so, do you?

You may remember that I usurped your position as The Greatest Spammer of All Time™. You might also recall that I usurped your position as The Greatest Cid's Knight of All Time™. Now I have my sights firmly set on The Greatest Elitist of All Time™.

Watch your step.

[Del Murder]

Yeah, wasn't it nice of me to let you have those things? :)

Us Elitists aren't all bad.

[Rad Zak]

Maxx Power of Pirate Red Chin Patrol performing I play it that way. (http://www.sparelimited.com/dan/Iplayitthatway.mp3)

This makes things interesting.

[Tavrobel]

Not especially. If he had deigned to get everything on time, he would not need such an aid.

[Captain Maxx Power]

Not especially. If he had deigned to get everything on time, he would not need such an aid.

Do I hear you singing? No, I think not. So silence wench!

[loben]

It made me sad. I couldn't find any kareoke versions that were compatible with my sound mixing program. oh well :P

[Discord]

Maxx Power of Pirate Red Chin Patrol performing I play it that way. (http://www.sparelimited.com/dan/Iplayitthatway.mp3)

This makes things interesting.

Captain, my captain! Eternal respect earned.

[Tavrobel]

Do I hear you singing? No, I think not. So silence wench!

I'm not a female, which shows only further your ignorance and failure.

Back to the plank with you. I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

[Captain Maxx Power]

I'm not a female, which shows only further your ignorance and failure.

Back to the plank with you. I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Well gee there Susan, I'd hate to think I'd have to start propagating the notion that you are actually a member of the fairer sex when such rumours are probably grounded in some reality.

[TyphoonThaReapa]

Y'all have serious problems in the head. Anyway, I tired of waiting! Are the votes in yet!?

[fire_of_avalon]

I'm amazed that the once mighty Party has seemingly lapsed into a self-depricating melancholy about their believed imminent defeat. The history of the elections really does speak for itself.

I've decided to aim for coming second by one vote, which I can suggest was influenced by the Rad duo's obvious favouritism towards the BAMF Party. Should this outcome occur, it will be the greatest victory we've ever achieved and it'll end in a lot of celebratory mass spamming and a triumphant banning spree of the supposed "winners".

smurfing foa. She's like some sort of bad luck charm for me. Megan, you stay the smurf out of the elections next year. I mean it. :irked:
I was created with the sole purpose of spoiling your Final Fantasy forum election victory. Now you know my secret. Now you know why I can't stop this. There ain't no gettin' offa this train we on. etc.




BAMF our entry was 103 words! Blasphemy! But our song was best. I wish I had gotten this one.


I did my best to channel you, Del Tony. I hope I did you proud.

[Tavrobel]

Well gee there Susan, I'd hate to think I'd have to start propagating the notion that you are actually a member of the fairer sex when such rumours are probably grounded in some reality.

Sorry, Maxx, but there's a difference between being a bitch and being female. Even if they are identical terms.

[Old Manus]

Let the bets on how long it takes before that file is ytmnd'd begin.

[Psychotic]

It's been five days. Show us what you got, Zakky.