If your internet could talk, what would it say?

[No.78]

I saw the title of the thread "I am your internetz" and I thought it would be about that, but it wasn't, my dissapointment led me to create the thread I desired.

So, if your internet had a voice, what would it say to you?

[Sergeant Hartman]

Get off my internet!

[Meat Puppet]

It would tell me to grow a spine, and then to kick Sergeant Hartman’s ass for stealing itself from me.

[Cookie]

Mine would say "Start those torrents, and i'll go reeeeeeally slowly, ok? :>"

[demondude]

Turn me off and let me sleep for smurfs sake

[Gullick]

Get some damn spyware protection that lasts more than 30 days

-Gull-

[Christmas]

I AM SERIOUS BUSINESS.

[Quindiana Jones]

"Jesus Christ man, you need to get out more. And for fuck's sake shave a little."

My internetz never liked me. :(

[blackmage_nuke]

You really were a winner that time, noob

[Comet]

'You turn me on so much.'

[Yukki-Chan]

Yaoi. Again? Get out more!
Yeah I have a problem XP

[sephirothishere]

I AM SERIOUS BUSINESS.

SOMEONE ACTIVATE MY SUGAR CRAFTS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS SCRIPT!!!!!!

[Rostum]

"Stop looking up so much porn."

[sephirothishere]

Whoa...Really original. [/sarc]

[Hazzard]

"You keep me running all day, baby"

[Brennan]

I'm pretty sure that all mine would say is:
Weeee!

[Shauna]

Mine would laugh at me, and say "I suck! And you can't get better than me! You'll never get a 1MB broadband! Hahaha!"

[Leen-Leen]

"STOP OVERWORKING ME, FOOL."

[Mitch]

ERROR
YES/NO

[Tavrobel]

"Stop looking up so much porn."

[Old Manus]

desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu~

[Bunny]

"I AM THE INTER NETS GIVE ME YOUR FIRST BORNS AND A BUCKET OF HONEY BARBEQUE CHICKEN FROM YOUR LOCAL KFC"

[James Leopold]

mine would say "What?!"

[yanis]

"Why you turning me on and leaving me...:whimper:"

[Levian]

Is that a memory stick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? :-*

[Griff]

"For the last time, Manus is not a valid answer to a poll!"

[scrumpleberry]

FOR THE LOVE OF GATES GET A DECENT COMPUTER, I'M RUNNING FAR TOO SLOWLY.

Then I'd say "Why do you worship Bill Gates?"

STUPID HUMAN. GET ME COFFEE.

"You can't drink it. You'd crash-"

VIRTUAL COFFEE, IMBECILE!

Yeah, my internet hates me. It always crashes when I need it for a decent essay.

[Disco Potato]

"Get off YouTube and Facebook and do your damn homework!"

[Ramza Beoulve]

It would seriously start to sing whatever song I am hearing and start acting like a nerd.

"FOR GOOGLE'S SAKE, STOP OPENING A HUNDRED WIKIPEDIA PAGES PER DAY!"

[Tallulah]

"Oh, God, not Family Guy again! :rolleyes2"

[Freya]

"My god do you have no life? All you do is talk to people on a message board, talk to people on myspace, and talk to people on WoW (then kill them). Good god woman get a freaking life!"

[Giga Guess]

"JESUS, man! They're called pants! Ever heard of 'em?!"

[Drift]

and this is why you failed...

[Tavrobel]

"Stop hitting on that poor girl. She doesn't like you. She's absolutely repulsed by you.

Wait, what is that? Is... is that a knife? What are you doing? No, not that way, you idiot! I'll show you how to do it correctly. Only you could smurf up this badly. Must I do everything myself, you emo freak?"

[Freya]

"Stop hitting on that poor girl. She doesn't like you. She's absolutely repulsed by you.

Wait, what is that? Is... is that a knife? What are you doing? No, not that way, you idiot! I'll show you how to do it correctly. Only you could smurf up this badly. Must I do everything myself, you emo freak?"

O.O....... tavy..... do you need some mental help?

[kikimm]

I hope mine would be just like me. That would be cool. It would be like a parrot! Although all it would really say would be

Ugh
Oh my god
Shut up

Since that's all I really say around my computer. Entertaining enough for me.

[Nominus Experse]

It's either me or the girl.

[~*~Celes~*~]

"Now look here. You're a fool human, I'm a really smart network that can get access to anything and everything. Therefore, I am superior to you."

So then, I'd say:

"Really now? What does THIS button do?" *turns off the internet connection* "So much for superior to me...if I can turn you off with the flip of a switch xD"

Oh, and please excuse my bad pun...

[tidus_rox]

MMM.... You seem like a prep to me. I dont like preps *sends pop-up* look up porn! Now! Have some fun!

... Or do another english assignment. WHOA!! EOFF!?! Don't have TOO much fun...


tehe.. thats me!

[Lawr]

403 Forbidden

[Discord]

Probably sing "The Internet's for Porn" song.

[Giga Guess]

It's either me or the girl.

LOL! "Look up porn or the girl gets it. Don't smurf with me, man! I'm a CPU on the edge!"

[CimminyCricket]

It's either me or the girl.

This isn't a "If your Diablo 2 game could talk to you, what would it say thread" Nom. ;c)

[Spammerman]

You keep me on all night long.

[Sweet Beloved]

"This page cannot be displayed"
"Please check your internet connection"
=]

[Nominus Experse]

It's either me or the girl.

LOL! "Look up porn or the girl gets it. Don't smurf with me, man! I'm a CPU on the edge!"
You know, based on my computer's antics as of late, you may be perfectly correct in that...



It's either me or the girl.


This isn't a "If your Diablo 2 game could talk to you, what would it say thread" Nom. ;c)
More than half the time I spend on the internet is on that cursed game...

Dammit, I hate that game.




I need my girlfriend to rescue me, it would seem....

[sephirothishere]

It's either me or the girl.

Do anything you want to the girl, just don't hurt me ;-;

[~*~Celes~*~]

It's either me or the girl.

Do anything you want to the girl, just don't hurt me ;-;

Is this for all girls or just your girlfriends? 'cause that would mean I get it too if it's for all girls :( And what exactly am I getting? I mean, come on! I'm innocent, really! :cry:

[Larahl]

"I am your Father!"

[sephirothishere]

Is this for all girls or just your girlfriends? 'cause that would mean I get it too if it's for all girls And what exactly am I getting? I mean, come on! I'm innocent, really!

I'm a pretty boi, I don't want to be ruffed up by any gangsters, so I surrender the girl. :D It's a good system that I have.

[Croyles]

"I'm calling the cops!" is probably the most likely response...

[Spammerman]

Are you STILL posing as a 14 year old teen...

[Polaris]

"GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

I'm glad my computer doesn't talk!

[Jessweeee♪]

EOFF LOL

[demondude]

Please turn the webcam off or get some clothes on!!

[Loony BoB]

It would most likely be telling not just me nigh on every internet user to shut the hell up. Seriously, if you were being forced to 'hear' every single thing that is said online and also being forced to provide stupid pointless (or incorrect) information to people over and over, you'd probably be a pretty pissed off kind of guy/girl/bot/whatever.

[yojimbosoul]

Itd say: ......oh god stop playing on the internet and sleep!!!...........WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP???? OMG, WHY WON'T YOU PULL THE PLUG ???? *sob* *sob*.....wha.....wha....what is that?......is that "Neopets"......you MONSTER, you FREAK OF NATURE ......... god you are sad............*sob* why won't I die *sob*

[Xatif]

"The World is a nice place to live in, yet you're here, browsing my ground. Hey! Are you listening at all?!"

[Goldenboko]

"PLEASE! Stop going to EoFF so much! The people there scare me!!!"

[Lynx]

"stop with all the super metroid speed run videos and glitch faqs"

super metroid has consumed my life :O_O:

[escobert]

"I SUCK!" *bang*

[Rase]

FAP.

[Harroldo]

listen i am feeling like a child with flipflops i want to run fast but i have these god darn flipflops please hook me up to cable so that i can run fast and so that you don't become deceased from old age before you can load one single web page. oh it is a young woman's voice about 24 yrs old and she sounds very attractive and has a brittish accent

[fantasyjunkie]

It would tell me to get a life :cry:

[Formalhaut]

"STOP LOOKING UP BILL GATES UP ON WIKIPEDIA!! THE SPOONY BARD!"

"Why? I like him"

"HE MADE ME SLOW FOOL! IT TAKES 5 FRICKEN MINUTES TO LOAD!"

"So? Your a old p.c anyway, the new one should be here any minute.."

"ARGH!!!"

*Old P.C grows legs and arms, walks to the new one, gets a baseball bat and whacks it again and again*

"HAPPY NOW! HAHA! NOW YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE NOW!"

"I knew this would happen, so I got two!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

*Old P.C explodes*

[CloudSquallandZidane]

"When I was created they said, people like you would use me to make the world a better place, but you never do anything productive on me..."

[theundeadhero]

"You have mail"

[Peegee]

My internet would freak out when it realises the pages I am browsing lol.