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View Full Version : What's the kewlest way to kill someone



PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 06:13 PM
What do you think is the kewlest way to kill some1?

demondude
06-02-2007, 06:14 PM
Killing someone isn't really cool

I suppose if you wanted to do it in style though then blindfolded with you're arms behind you're back

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 06:15 PM
I think it'd be pretty kewl to blast somebody with a fireball.

Peter_20
06-02-2007, 06:16 PM
Killing someone isn't cool at all.

However, I like how Christie from one of the DOA-games kills that macho dude during her pole dance.
She just acts super-sexy (wohoo, damn straight) and then she sticks this knife into his back, and he dies with spell-bound eyes.

That scene IS pretty cool.
And sexy! :D

Goldenboko
06-02-2007, 06:16 PM
As long as you aren't killing me, anyway is cool XP

Tavrobel
06-02-2007, 06:17 PM
Cupric Sulfate poisoning.

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 06:18 PM
Cupric Sulfate poisoning.

that sounds kool :)

but isn't that for abortions

Tavrobel
06-02-2007, 06:43 PM
It, when mixed properly is an anti-fungal, and is used in basic chemistry sets, because it is easily obtainable, and shows a very visible result (crystalization). In the hands of an expert (such as myself), it's lethalally awesome.

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 06:56 PM
It, when mixed properly is an anti-fungal, and is used in basic chemistry sets, because it is easily obtainable, and shows a very visible result (crystalization). In the hands of an expert (such as myself), it's lethalally awesome.

Awesome:drool:

Comet
06-02-2007, 08:14 PM
Convince them into commiting suicide. Nothing beats that ;)

KentaRawr!
06-02-2007, 08:18 PM
Firstly, put someone in a box. Then, attach bombs to the outside of the box. Put that box in another box. Put explosives on that box. Put gasoline on the box. Throw burning knives at the box.

If the explosion didn't get them, the knives did. :p

Griff
06-02-2007, 08:40 PM
Shadow techniques.

Parker
06-02-2007, 08:45 PM
I would just like to stare at someone and the hate in my eyes causes their brain to just stop.

Huckleberry Quin
06-02-2007, 08:46 PM
Not killing them. Just ensuring that they can never die, but will forever live alone.

Failing that, kill everyone they have ever loved, presently love, and will ever love. That'll get 'em from the inside, and if they don't hate life so much that suicide is necessary, then you dice them alive. Obviously starting with the less important parts, and making sure they don't bleed to death before their time.

I am one sick bastard. :(

yanis
06-02-2007, 09:51 PM
Death Note...:bigsmile:

Doomie
06-02-2007, 10:03 PM
Deepfry them.

~*~Celes~*~
06-02-2007, 10:09 PM
enclose them in a box and they'll eventually freak out enough that they'll just die.

sephirothishere
06-02-2007, 10:11 PM
Convince them into commiting suicide. Nothing beats that

Convince them, then as they take that last step say something like "WAIIITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!"

Bunny
06-02-2007, 10:14 PM
F B F D + HP + BL + R (close)

~*~Celes~*~
06-02-2007, 10:15 PM
or at the hands of Chuck Norrizzle ;)

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 10:19 PM
or at the hands of Chuck Norrizzle ;)
chuck norriz is evil...He ate my homework like everyday...cuz of him I got several F's

Ramza Beoulve
06-02-2007, 10:21 PM
or at the hands of Chuck Norrizzle ;)
That would be like playing with godly powers, but more awesome :rolleyes2

Vikeve
06-02-2007, 10:21 PM
Death by pelippers.

Freya
06-02-2007, 10:22 PM
Lock them in a room with thier leg attached to something and give them a butter knife. And if they don't die from bleeding to death or starvation then yuo just set the bomb that's panted on thier shoe off.

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 10:28 PM
Lock them in a room with thier leg attached to something and give them a butter knife. And if they don't die from bleeding to death or starvation then yuo just set the bomb that's panted on thier shoe off.

This reminds me of saw...but a butterknife...dam ur krewl:mastersha

Psychotic
06-02-2007, 11:15 PM
That depends on whether or not urine can conduct electricity.

Dynast-Kid
06-02-2007, 11:17 PM
Darts or poison. Not too messy, and it gets the job done.

Cookie
06-02-2007, 11:24 PM
Fatality of course.

PyroManiak
06-02-2007, 11:27 PM
Fatality of course.

I like the one where the devil sucks out your life-force and spine aswell:D


That depends on whether or not urine can conduct electricity.

It can but it's usually not constant enough in terms of the stream when you piss...I do weird experiments....

Miriel
06-02-2007, 11:50 PM
Shoot 'em, grind them up, and put 'em in chili.

Dreddz
06-03-2007, 12:11 AM
Head Shot, duhh!!??

James Leopold
06-03-2007, 12:15 AM
this has got to be the sickest thread ever

CloudSquallandZidane
06-03-2007, 11:42 AM
Whatever you do, sing the Barney song while you doing it.

Jess
06-03-2007, 01:02 PM
I don't think I could ever kill anybody! Personally, I don't think of methods either! :jess:

sephirothishere
06-03-2007, 01:13 PM
Ok, I concur with little Miss Jess up thurrr. But wouldn't it be awesome to watch someone mutilate themselves :D! oh wait... that's really disgusting I think I need to throw up now ;-;

blackmage_nuke
06-03-2007, 01:59 PM
Freezing them to death would definitely be 'cool'
But yea killing isnt right

Larahl
06-03-2007, 02:24 PM
Choke them with a baseball bat and than hit their head so hard with the baseball bat 'til their head explodes.
Just like in Manhunt :bigsmile:

sephirothishere
06-03-2007, 03:04 PM
Choke them with a baseball bat

By baseball bat, you mean penis, right?

Mitch
06-03-2007, 05:28 PM
Guitar solo death.

Extreme.

DK
06-03-2007, 05:30 PM
Shoot 'em, grind them up, and put 'em in chili.

Scott Tenorman's (parents) must die!

ReloadPsi
06-03-2007, 05:32 PM
1) Take a glass bottle
2) Write a message and stuff it inside
3) Fill the bottle with nerve gas
4) Seal it up
5) Set the bottle floating out to sea.

The big disadvantage of this method is you never get to see the result, plus there's no way of knowing who you got :/

PyroManiak
06-03-2007, 05:40 PM
Choke them with a baseball bat and than hit their head so hard with the baseball bat 'til their head explodes.
Just like in Manhunt :bigsmile:

I played that game...My favorite part is the fight with pigsy lol

Spammerman
06-03-2007, 05:46 PM
Send them a Teddy Bear or really cute stuffed animal for a very good holiday, ie CHristmas, their B-Day, and when they get it, have it have a retractable katana and have it say something like Merry Christmas B****

Evil never looked so cuddly.

StarlightAngel
06-03-2007, 05:47 PM
Get an orange cat, teach it the "Death from Above" technique, and sick 'im on someone.

Not that it actually kills people. Most of the time.

Griff
06-03-2007, 05:54 PM
Trained ninja puppies.

Croyles
06-03-2007, 05:54 PM
Like what this fellow is about to do:

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y154/Croyles/catsoon.jpg

escobert
06-03-2007, 06:14 PM
KILL THEM OVER THE INTERNETS :D!

Spammerman
06-03-2007, 06:35 PM
Choke them with skittles and say Taste the Rainbow

Madame Adequate
06-03-2007, 06:39 PM
That depends on whether or not urine can conduct electricity.

It can indeed! At least, MythBusters says it can.

Anyway the coolest method is obviously abandoning them, naked, in the middle of Antarctica xD

PyroManiak
06-03-2007, 06:51 PM
Dress em up like a pinata and use a sword instead of a bat...Or a bat either way:D

yanis
06-03-2007, 08:48 PM
Choke them with a baseball bat and than hit their head so hard with the baseball bat 'til their head explodes.
Just like in Manhunt :bigsmile:

I played that game...My favorite part is the fight with pigsy lol

Well, there was that chainsaw...:greenie:

CimminyCricket
06-03-2007, 08:49 PM
I can kill a man 37 different ways with a straw. That's pretty cool I think.

Parker
06-03-2007, 09:43 PM
I'd like to punch someone in the spine so hard my first comes out the front and their guts explode out like some disgusting firework.

Cookie
06-03-2007, 09:45 PM
It'd be quite cool to launch a nuke, and watch as it hits a guy in the crotch. Maybe it's just me, but i'd lol.

Parker
06-03-2007, 09:46 PM
It'd be the last, funniest thing you'd ever see.

Namelessfengir
06-03-2007, 09:54 PM
when the operative kills river's tormenter at the begining of Serenity disables a nerve cluster and sets his sword at an angle for him to fall on

Behold the Void
06-04-2007, 08:43 AM
Why kill them when you can horridly maim them? I submit example A. to the court for judgement:


Humperdink: To the death!
Westley: No, to the pain.
Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.
Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Humperdinck: — and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —
Humperdinck: — and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it —
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why — so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish — every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing —
Westley: It's possible, pig — I might be bluffing — it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand — then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP YOUR SWORD!

sephirothishere
06-04-2007, 11:27 AM
Guitar solo death.

Extreme.

Yeh, You better hope I don't engage you in a guitar battle. Your head would explode.

Fatal Impurity
06-04-2007, 12:18 PM
I would peel off their skin layer by layer being sure to rub in salt and vinegar with each sucessive layer...then when you get down to the actual muscle mass after you've peeled all their skin off i would put them in a constant shower of weak acid and watch on camera as it slowly eats their bodies away.

Madame Adequate
06-04-2007, 04:50 PM
I would peel off their skin layer by layer being sure to rub in salt and vinegar with each sucessive layer...then when you get down to the actual muscle mass after you've peeled all their skin off i would put them in a constant shower of weak acid and watch on camera as it slowly eats their bodies away.

They'd die of shock by the time you got to the dermis.

bipper
06-04-2007, 04:55 PM
The coolest way? Lock them in a walk in freezer.

stalpho slayer
06-04-2007, 09:04 PM
sneak up on them and stab them with a knife in the back and slash there throat open so you can watch them bleed :radred: :evilking:what next give me a sec :plotting: ..........oh tie them to a brick and throw them in a river after there dead

licence
06-04-2007, 09:06 PM
Hmmm, my choice would be glass them, then hit their head off of something till they're dead. Pub violence FTW!!!!

Formalhaut
06-05-2007, 12:40 AM
The flying Gullitine.

SAID to be used by ninjas and assains (Spelled wrong >_<). They chuck it at some ones head, pull a chain, and blades converge inward to the neck.

But we dont know if its true or not. But it is possible.

Spammerman
06-05-2007, 12:54 AM
The flying Gullitine.

SAID to be used by ninjas and assains (Spelled wrong >_<). They chuck it at some ones head, pull a chain, and blades converge inward to the neck.

But we dont know if its true or not. But it is possible.

there was a movie on that.

Formalhaut
06-05-2007, 01:49 AM
I know, It as no.1 in Best kung fu weapons on NAT Geographic.

Tifa's Real Lover(really
06-05-2007, 02:28 AM
i like this thread, kill someone james bond style :D

Jack
06-05-2007, 02:54 AM
What do you think is the kewlest way to kill some1?

By spelling properly.

Evastio
06-05-2007, 03:02 AM
Have a chainsaw that can spray a strong acid of some sort, spray them with that acid until they're soaked with it, then do an upper vertical slash to them.

dodhungry
06-05-2007, 03:17 AM
ive always wanted to see someone put a C4 fire out by stomping it and watching them a-splode. Either that or use a 50. Cal Browing Sniper Rifle.......


(FTW C4 will burn like wood and will not explode untill put with a blasting cap or if it becomes enclosed)

Monol
06-05-2007, 03:39 AM
Pour honey all over their bodies and watch as they are forced to eat themselves ALIVE!

Long live honey
:D

Fatal Impurity
06-06-2007, 12:16 PM
Almost all of these deaths are possible to execute in Postal 2...

CimminyCricket
06-06-2007, 02:53 PM
I can now kill a man 38 different ways with a straw.

Peegee
06-06-2007, 03:08 PM
It would be pretty silly to kill a person by dropping an anvil on them.

Mirage
06-06-2007, 03:27 PM
Anvils never kill people, don't you ever watch cartoons?

Grazia
06-07-2007, 12:53 AM
Might not be classed as "cool" but I think a rather evil way would be to force them to play FFX-2 over & over & over & over... you get the idea...

Mirage
06-07-2007, 06:10 AM
No, I don't.

Avarice-ness
06-07-2007, 06:12 AM
I'd throw someone into the path of an Ice Cream truck. :heart:

Tigmafuzz
06-09-2007, 02:26 AM
I can now kill a man 38 different ways with a straw.

sweet

Maddness66
06-10-2007, 12:57 AM
Soak rawhide for a couple hours. Completly bind someone within the soaked rawhide and leave them out in the sun. As the rawhide drys it hardens and tightens so much is breaks and crushes their bones. They're likely to die out of a combination of pain, heat, the smell rawhide. If the survive, just do it all over.

Dynast-Kid
06-10-2007, 01:42 AM
Trap them in your septic tank.:radred:

PyroManiak
06-10-2007, 01:59 AM
Some of you guys are leaving a possibility for escape...What happens when you try to be all "OMFG SHARKS WITH LAZERBEAMS ON THEIR HEAD" and stuff....

Dr:Evil was a failure.

stalpho slayer
06-11-2007, 08:31 PM
Almost all of these deaths are possible to execute in Postal 2...


mine could happen

Tigmafuzz
06-15-2007, 07:30 PM
shoot em in each foot and then soak their feet in citric acid (it will burn like hell) then when their feet are numb from pain or they pass out put them in a freezer with some hot chocolate that is already frozen and leave them there for 2 hours so their nice and frosty then just go ahead and poke em in the eyes and stab them in the gullet (the hell is a gullet...) and drown them in moose piss. dispose of the body in an underground cavern dug by by elven dwarves (which don't exist) and then tell the cops where it is and blow the entire cavern up with 234.63 tons of c4 and possibly wiping out half the country because there was also a hydrogen bomb in there (engineered by a craftsmoogle who was distracted by eating a potato making the h-bomb 6 times as powerful) and flee to the bahamas where you can in some places get a mai tai or pina colada for only 3 bucks
i have a nice run-on sentence there, huh...
imaginations can work wonders...

Værn
06-15-2007, 08:22 PM
My half-dragon character's signature killing move in D&D was:
-Grab the enemy by the neck and hold them against the wall
-Stab through their wrists with daggers to pin them to the wall with their feet dangling a few feet from the ground
-Smash their head into the wall with a morningstar

A simply horrible way to kill somebody would be to tie them down to a chair, straighten out a clothes hanger, shove it up their nose, and use it to slowly cut away at their brain. I think you might be able to pull this off with a particularly long and sturdy straw, Cim.
(This is a disturbing thread)

belkor_teh_magnificent
06-15-2007, 08:33 PM
Personally, my favourite way to kill a woman would be to rip out her fallopian tubes, and choke her with them.
For a guy, i reckon that tying them upside down on a wall, then waiting for the blood to gather in their head, and make lots of little cuts til they bleed to death.

Or stick a knife in their throat. Either or.

Spammerman
06-15-2007, 09:16 PM
give them something deadly as a present, and watch them die or be suprised.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y28/bloodhunter11/brucelee.jpg

ReloadPsi
06-16-2007, 01:45 AM
Toss a fake/disarmed grenade into someone's car, then when they're all like "WTF U TOSS GRENADE IN MY CAR" you pull out a water pistol filled with cyanide and squirt it down their throat.

Momiji
06-16-2007, 05:27 AM
Personally, my favourite way to kill a woman would be to rip out her fallopian tubes, and choke her with them.


That's just...sick. Not to mention if you wanna get technical, they'd probably rip before you could choke someone with them.


Cupric Sulfate Strychnine poisoning.

Fixed.

Lynx
06-16-2007, 05:30 AM
id sick bees on them because who gets killed by bees?

Momiji
06-16-2007, 05:32 AM
id sick bees on them because who gets killed by bees?

People who allergic to them. :rolleyes2

Mr.SimpleandClean
06-16-2007, 06:08 AM
Looking someone dead in there eyes....and *BOOM* (he dead)

Lynx
06-17-2007, 07:52 PM
id sick bees on them because who gets killed by bees?

People who allergic to them. :rolleyes2

yeah but really i just said that for the sake of it being a dane cook refrence :p

PyroManiak
06-17-2007, 08:02 PM
It's actually pretty true though, once I kicked a wasp in the face because it was about to sting me, It got pissed though and stung my brother so that just made things even better for me.

Dance Cook is right, how the fuck do you get killed by bees, I would PUNCH every bee in the FACE

fantasyjunkie
06-17-2007, 10:03 PM
Dressing up in a black cape and a white mask like "V" and giving a speech with lots of big words before throwing a dagger :D

Fatal Impurity
06-17-2007, 10:40 PM
Death by nuclear winter ftw!