OMG NO WAI

[Jessweeee♪]

Zombies!!!! (http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm)



Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.






Topic: Post a link to a totally bogus but authentic looking news article like this one :D


These are fun to look at in English class o:

[Mogi]

XD
Zombism.

[Rye]

Seen it, but it excites me, because it reminds me of World War Z.

[Ouch!]

Yay. Where's Matt Gust when I have something like this in my grasp?

[Bunny]

I squealed like a greased pig.

[Rye]

I squealed like a greased pig.

SQUEAL LIKE A PIGGY, BUNNY. SQUEAL LIKE A PIGGY. ;D ;D

[Bunny]

I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

[Rye]

I squealed like a greased pig.


I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

Not if I'm the one making you squeal!

[Pouring Rain]

How fascinating. We're going to have a real, life Resident Evil soon.

[Bunny]

I squealed like a greased pig.


I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

Not if I'm the one making you squeal!

You could not get within two miles of me without getting arrested. Honestly.

[Madame Adequate]

How fascinating. We're going to have a real, life Resident Evil soon.

My God! It's like TWO RYES?! I thought the walking dead was bad, but this? Apoclolypse NAO, apparently ;_;

[Rye]

You guys are... breaking my self-esteem. :kaocry2:

I think I'm just going to become a zombie now because no one loves me.

[Madame Adequate]

You guys are... breaking my self-esteem. :kaocry2:

I think I'm just going to become a zombie now because no one loves me.

The Apoclolypse because two Ryes = too much awesome for one universe =D?

Edit: On topic: I Just Discovered This Hilarious Comic Strip Called 'Garfield' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_just_discovered_this)

[Bunny]

Well played save, MILF.

[Rengori]

Where's that "FFVII banned in the US" article?

[Bunny]

TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII

The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game.

The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson.

President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment.

Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said.

Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game.

"First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban.

[Rengori]

Thank you Kishi.

[Chemical]

BAHAHA


you know this means they're probably watching us and this site; like were all a bunch of terrorists brainwashed by FF7.

:shifty:

[Azalar]

How fascinating. We're going to have a real, life Resident Evil soon.

Your to tell me that the "People" Ive been shooting havent been Zombies?

God Darn it!! Ive been lied too.

[JackNapier]

I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.

[Old Manus]

They call themselves 'Anonymous' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNO6G4ApJQY)


Oh wait, that one was real.

[Bunny]

Thank you Kishi.

np



I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.

I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?

[Jessweeee♪]

They call themselves 'Anonymous' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNO6G4ApJQY)


Oh wait, that one was real.

o_o

[Rye]

Thank you Kishi.

np



I can, and will, but you will never hear it ever.

What if she gives you her phone number? I hear you're quite skilled in animal noises.

I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?

Let's do it. :D

[JackNapier]

I have offered her this and she has yet to take me up on it. Where did you hear this gross rumor?

I'll never tell!