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View Full Version : Kitchen Utensils... OF DOOM!



Avarice-ness
11-03-2007, 03:28 PM
I liked the Kitchen Utensils thread.

So! If you were in a dark alley about to be mugged and you had one kitchen utensil on you that you had to use to either kill, injure, or knock out the mugger. What would you have on you and how would you use it to thwart the attempts of the mugger.

I'd use a whisk. I'd unbend it and gouge his eyes out. Then I'd go home and make some jell-o, or maybe even a pie. :razz:

Boosk
11-03-2007, 04:16 PM
One thing, and one thing only...A Spork!!! A Spork in the eye will help any situation!

Avarice-ness
11-03-2007, 04:24 PM
One thing, and one thing only...A Spork!!! A Spork in the eye will help any situation!

Ouch. Yeah that'd suck.

Jimsour
11-03-2007, 04:25 PM
Clearly a knife would be the answer? If your not worried about killing someone and being sent to jail with bubba.

Boosk
11-03-2007, 04:27 PM
Clearly a knife would be the answer? If your not worried about killing someone and being sent to jail with bubba.

Yes, but any old poopie can use a knife!! Stabbing someone with a spork has class!

scrumpleberry
11-03-2007, 04:32 PM
Meat cleaver or a spork.

Jimsour
11-03-2007, 04:34 PM
Clearly a knife would be the answer? If your not worried about killing someone and being sent to jail with bubba.

Yes, but any old poopie can use a knife!! Stabbing someone with a spork has class!

Sounds impossible.

Real skill is when you beat someone with a tea towel.

Boosk
11-03-2007, 05:12 PM
Clearly a knife would be the answer? If your not worried about killing someone and being sent to jail with bubba.

Yes, but any old poopie can use a knife!! Stabbing someone with a spork has class!

Sounds impossible.

Real skill is when you beat someone with a tea towel.

Perhaps. I think the hardest thing to do is to balance a pea on a knife. It can't be done!!!

mooglebunni608
11-03-2007, 06:30 PM
A CHAINSAW! VROOMVROOMVAVROOM! *immitates a chainsaw for five minutes*

Oh. Wait. Never mind ><

I'd use one of those big mixing spoons. The huge ones. I'd beat my attacker with it. <3 Spoon death!

I Don't Need A Name
11-03-2007, 06:33 PM
One thing, and one thing only...A Spork!!! A Spork in the eye will help any situation!

i was beaten to informing the population of the sheer power of the Spork :cry:

theundeadhero
11-03-2007, 07:29 PM
An old-fashioned blender. The kind that you have to turn by hand. I would aim for the nipples.

KentaRawr!
11-03-2007, 07:30 PM
A knife, quite clearly. Either that or a meat cleaver, as stated earlier.

Quindiana Jones
11-03-2007, 07:37 PM
Wooden Spoon.

Faris
11-03-2007, 07:42 PM
A BBQ fork. :)

Vincent, Thunder God
11-03-2007, 09:14 PM
Does dual-wielding count? Because I would use a fork and knife. A knife is an obvious choice, but a fork in the eye would be the perfect finish.

Jojee
11-03-2007, 09:18 PM
A pot! I'll use it as a shield to block any incoming bullets and whack them on the head with it :p

smittenkitten
11-03-2007, 09:50 PM
A bin lid Battle Royale style! *pow pow*

To protect myself from the ebil kitchen utencils I may encounter when I go into a dark alley at night. :cool:

Boosk
11-03-2007, 10:59 PM
Does dual-wielding count? Because I would use a fork and knife. A knife is an obvious choice, but a fork in the eye would be the perfect finish.

Or perhaps...Spoon in the eye!!

Vincent, Thunder God
11-03-2007, 11:01 PM
Does dual-wielding count? Because I would use a fork and knife. A knife is an obvious choice, but a fork in the eye would be the perfect finish.

Or perhaps...Spoon in the eye!!

Yeah, finishing with a spoon is like saying "I'm so badass, I can inflict pain with a spoon! Ha!"

Avarice-ness
11-03-2007, 11:14 PM
Does dual-wielding count? Because I would use a fork and knife. A knife is an obvious choice, but a fork in the eye would be the perfect finish.

Or perhaps...Spoon in the eye!!

Yeah, finishing with a spoon is like saying "I'm so badass, I can inflict pain with a spoon! Ha!"

Actually there's this guy in my Algebra class who told someone that he could cut him with a spoon and then cut him with a spoon. And then the next day the teacher made fun of him because he always keeps talking so class is never let out early and he stomped out all angry, so now we think he's going to get us with either a bomb, or a spoon, or a bomb-spoon.

That kind of sucks.

Proxy
11-05-2007, 06:24 PM
a blender. take that bad guise.

McLovin'
11-05-2007, 06:40 PM
I would keel with a spoon. One smack on the forehead and KO!

Araciel
11-05-2007, 06:46 PM
potato masher.

think about it.

Momiji
11-05-2007, 08:11 PM
I'd use a good old heavy frying pan. :D

oddler
11-05-2007, 10:21 PM
Rolling pin. Old school cartoon style.

Tavrobel
11-05-2007, 10:27 PM
A pair of chopsticks. Use one to block the trigger of the gun (if he has one), and the other to gouge out his eye. Alternatively, you could try eating his/her hair and see how much they freak out.

Goldenboko
11-05-2007, 10:31 PM
I'd hit him on the head with a frying pan :D

Jessweeee♪
11-06-2007, 12:19 AM
CAN OPENER! I'd pinch his arm with it!