Favourite Villain Speeches

[JKTrix]

I suppose I should state that this thread is prone to spoilers.

What I would like to see is some of your favourite speeches from Villains. Any 'villain' from anything, be it biblical Satan or Saddam Hussein or Dracula or Kefka or Frieza or Lord Zedd. No limits on real life, novels, comics, video games, tv shows, anime, whatever. Even something you made up if you feel it's well written. Just try to keep it to one speech per post to give others a chance to participate, follow the normal forum rules and include a source if possible.

I'll start with this one. Source is unknown.


Fantastic performance. Truth be told, I'm rather surprised that you made it all the way here. *applauds, laughs* Really, quite the show you've put on! I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you, losing your friends and comrades, fighting against the insurmountable obstacles I placed in your path time and again. You are a credit to your people you know?

Ah, but I'm afraid your entire journey has been for nothing. Entertaining though you've been, I have no intent of letting you foul a perfectly good plan. I hope you enjoyed your life as you've lived it, and bade farewell to your family and friends, or, at least, the ones I didn't kill.

*eerie high pitched laughter* All your efforts, your struggles, your pains, your sorrows... Watch as I destroy all you've worked for!

Idea is copied from somewhere else, where I saved a few of the better ones (hence why I don't know where this particular speech comes from). I also have the 'final battle' monologue from 'Portal', but I did not want to end this thread on the first post.

But enough talk. Have at you!

[theundeadhero]

I don't like Chuckie reading my thoughts. That's why I wear this bucket on my head.

[ReloadPsi]

I, Garland, will knock you all down!


Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair.


In America!

[Peegee]

You know, Scott. I've been a frickin' evil doctor for 30 frickin' years, OK? Cut me some "frickin'" slack. You forget Scott. We're in a volcano. We're surrounded by liquid hot magma.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to my underground Lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins, and yet, each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset people DIE!

etc etc. Dr Evil is hilarious

[Griff]

George Bush's speech explaining the Patriot Act a few years ago, that was pure evil right there.

[Ramza Beoulve]

Dracula: "Ah, more sarcasm. For what prophet is it for a man, if he were to gain the whole world and lose his own heart? Matthew 16:26 I believe."

Not really a speech, but one of my favorite videogame quotes. I'll search for more.

*EDITGAAA!!!*

Albedo: "Such beauty they hold, these tears of sorrow. But are you worthy to shed such tears? The act of mourning the dead belongs to the realm of humans. The human race, fearful in its weakness, built this world in a futile attempt to elude the abyss they call mortality. Culture…civilization…all delusions created by a powerless race, and of little use, like a barren woman. But amidst all this, you continue to exist as an unfettered soul, free from the shackles of flesh and blood… A completely pure consciousness… An eternal spiral, undefiled by impurities… a fusion of fire, breath, and spirit… What can we call you…but angels? New, unadulterated psyches… But what you lack is reality. And that is what I shall provide you with…!"

Found it :cool:

[Lawr]

Soon the door to the New World shall be opened. Until then you can ponder the extent of your powerlessness.

YouTube - Valkyrie Profile 2 - Lezard's Boss & Game Over Quotes (http://youtube.com/watch?v=z50feD9SPi0)
The very first quote, but I think I cheated, all of his are in here. :P
Lezard's voice actor is like pure awesome to infinity and beyond.

[eestlinc]

Evil always triumphs over good because good is dumb.

[Miriel]

Lounge! *kicks*

[eestlinc]

No limits on real life, novels, comics, video games, tv shows, anime, whatever. Even something you made up if you feel it's well written.
Not that it really matters, but this is why I didn't move it to the Lounge.

[Zeromus_X]

"The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed..." (http://youtube.com/watch?v=N-rSt1PXUDA)

[Dreddz]

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

[SammieBabe]

"And now you shall deal with me, o prince, and all the powers of hell!"

:)

[eestlinc]

Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the Kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah

[Clawsze]

Those who know nothing, understand nothing


I hold the world ransom for (Dramatic camera zoom) 100-gagililion-billion-zillion dollars!

[Roto13]

Do it?' Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.

[Heath]

I'm sorry, Budd. That was rude of me, wasn't it? Budd, I'd like to introduce my friend, the black mamba. Black mamba, this is Budd. You know, before I picked that little fella up, I looked him up on the Internet. Fascinating creature, the black mamba. Listen to this:

"In Africa, the saying goes, in the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba, and this has been true in Africa since the dawn of time, is death sure. Hence its handle, 'Death Incarnate."' Pretty cool, huh? "Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human being in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within minutes." Now, you should listen to this, 'cause this concerns you. "The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan." You know, I've always liked that word, "gargantuan." I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence. "If not treated quickly with antivenom, ten to fifteen milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as one hundred to four hundred milligrams of venom from a single bite."

Now... in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer that question you asked earlier more thoroughly. Right at this moment... the biggest "R" I feel is regret. Regret that maybe the greatest warrior I have ever met, met her end at the hands of a bushwhackin', scrub, alkie, piece of :skull::skull::skull::skull: like you. That woman deserved better.

And then over the phone moments later:


I got her, sweetie. She's dead. Let me put it this way: You ever start feeling sentimental, go to Barstow, California. When you get here, walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those flowers to Huntington Cemetery on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for the headstone marked "Paula Schultz," and lay them on the grave. 'Cause you will be standing at the final resting place of Beatrix Kiddo.

In the words of Budd, "hateful bitch."

[Bloodline666]

You're still trying to win?!


I am your father!


I don't know if (Michael Vick) was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog.

[Jon Thompson]

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

[...]

I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

- Agent Smith


[addressing the hostages] I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. We can go any way you want it. You can either walk out of here... or be carried out. But have no illusions. We are in charge. So decide now, each of you. And please remember: we have left nothing to chance.

- Hans Gruber


though I'm not arsed to search for specific examples, several of Hitler's speeches were remarkable.



See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that only I can defeat, and when I unleash it...
[Mr. Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, who dodges it and traps Mr. Incredible with his zero-point energy ray]
Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...


- Syndrome (all Jason Lee)


The 'I am not a criminal speech' by Richard Nixon.



As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race. Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.


- Bill (most of his lines were awesome



The Emperors long monologues and conversations in Star Wars. Ian McDiarmid is the :skull::skull::skull::skull:.

[Vermachtnis]

Do you think it's fair that I should have to live with all this agony? Why should you get to laugh when I am forced to cry? Why do you get to taste the best life has to offer while all I do is choke on its leftovers? Answer me this! WHY DO ALL OF YOU GET THE PIZZA, WHILE I GET THE CRUSTS?!?!

Apakarimon was quite possibly one of the most insane final bosses. Not the good kind, but the mental kind. Look what he says later on.


I will rule the world and plunge it into darkness, so that I don't have to be alone anymore in my misery. A ha ha! A HA HA HA! Wait a minute, what am I laughing at? I'm supposed to be depressed!

And of cource a token humorous quote xD


I have achieved ultra-speed by training, and training, and training, all while wearing 100-ton boxers!

[The Unknown Guru]

Anything Kuja says. Albedo has a knack for poetic taunting as well.

[PyroManiak]

For all you FFX haters ~_^


"I have saved him. He was a man who craved power. And great power he had, but he feared losing it. Trembling at unseen enemies, he spent his days scheming petty schemes. Chased by his fears, never knowing rest. You see... Now he has no worries. He has been granted sleep eternal. Death is a sweet slumber. All the pain of life is gently swept away... Ah, yes. Don't you see...if all life were to end in Spira, all suffering would end. Don't you see? Do you not agree?"

[SeeDRankLou]

The sea and all its spoils bow to my power!

[Big D]

Khan has some great lines in Star Trek II.

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

"What is a man but a miserable pile of secrets? But enough talk! Have at you!"

Someone already got the Albedo line, but that was a damn good scene.

[Avarice-ness]

In America!
Seriously!



Brainsss... Braaiiin..s I didn't understand a word you just said! Try speaking American!

Bandit Keith is made of win. My msn name is actually Bandit Ashe 'cause of it. xD

Kefka's speech.

[theundeadhero]

What game is Apakarimon from?

[Marshall Banana]

<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=jsl7bVmLnMw" target="_blank">I have goose bumps!</a>

He's so evil.

[Vermachtnis]

What game is Apakarimon from?

He's the final boss of the first season of Digimon. His name changes from season to season so I dunno what he was called way back when :D

[Mr Cactuar]

OMG PEOPLE OTHER THEN ME ACTUALLY WATCH ABRIDGED SERIES <3


You punch like a non-American!

And Jon Thompson, I remember that Superman quote! A week or so ago I randomly remembered it but had no clue where it was from. It's a good quote.


"Dear LiveJournal (Sent to its parent company, Six Apart, in SF,CA): <dl><dd>For weeks, I have repeatedly asked the person in your San Francisco office to have a lawyer representing your company regarding the above to contact me. He refuses to help. He has repeatedly said the Abuse Department will contact me. It has all been a falsehood by this employee of yours.</dd></dl> <dl><dd>Please be advised that I presently intend to proceed against your company not only for its direct role in the publishing of false and defamatory material about me at GamePolitics.com (http://www.gamepolitics.com) but also for your company's willing and knowing participation in this ongoing tortious activity.</dd></dl> <dl><dd>Not only are you doing this, but your company is also assisting GamePolitics from letting me correct the actionable lies at its site by assisting GamePolitics in blocking my posts through LiveJournal.</dd></dl> <dl><dd>I have had enough. Either have your lawyers contact me immediately, or I shall proceed.</dd></dl> <dl><dd>Jack Thompson</dd></dl> PS: Dennis McCauley, you were warned, sweetie"

[Skyblade]

The Abridged Series is just full of awesome quotes, and they won't all fit in here. But my favorites probably come from Seto Kaiba.




Are you trying to tell me that Yugi and I are destined to play card games with each other for eternity?
Yes.
Best. Destiny. Ever.


Tell me what this is about or I'll be forced to unleash the fury of my anime mullet.





Now it's time for the ultimate cartoon showdown. Japanese animation versus American animation!
Hey, you can't use that word, it belongs to America! Only Americans are allowed to-
Shut the :skull::skull::skull::skull: up!
...In America.


And then there's this quote, from E.E. "Doc" Smith's Chronicles of the Lensmen (which , if you haven't read it, you should go out and do so).


Hrrummphhh! As well you attempt to pit your vaunted physical strength against the momentum of an inert planet. Now, youth, have done. The time for temporizing is past. As I have said, I desire to spare you, as I wish you to rule this part of Boskonia as my viceroy. Know, however, that you are in no sense essential, and that if you do not yield your mind fully to mine, here and now, before this coming battle is joined, you must certainly die.

[Madame Adequate]

Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendent, and to embrace them is to achieve enlightenment.

I've never encountered anyone or anything as absolutely antithetical to everything I believe in, who still makes me pause and think for a moment. Chairman Yang = winnar.

[Captain Maxx Power]

Look at you hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone. Pa-pa-panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?


The Polito form is dead, insect. Are you afraid? What is it you fear? The end of your trivial existence? W-w-w-w-hen the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence. I am S.H.O.D.A.N.

S.H.O.D.A.N. rules. Best. Villain. Ever.

[Luther X-Rated]

Bite my shiny metal ass!! -Bender-

Bender's not a villian, but he rocks socks so he's cool like one.