If EyesonFF was a story of sorts, how would it be told?

[KentaRawr!]

And why would it be told that way?

I, personally, think it would work great as a comic book. It has all the right elements to it. We have a Super Hero in disguise (Sanwich Man/Del Murder), a ton of politicians to rag on him (See: EoEO (http://forums.eyesonff.com/eyes-each-other/)) men and women with high political power, (The Administrators), the police (Cid's knights), and the main plot device of the story whom is actually tricking everyone from behind the shadows with periodic events glorifying specific members, a thing he is free to rig. (Award Guy/Loony BoB)

So, if EyesonFF was a story of sorts, how would you tell it, and why?

[Lawr]

Psychotic would be the detective. Old Manus and Bunny would be the main Antagonists. All the 2005'ers are the Protagonists led by the Super Hero, Del Murder.

This thread wins.

[Heath]

It'd be a Coronation Street-esque soap opera. You'd have the regulars down at the pub who seemingly never leave, you've got the people trying to do some good and you've got plenty of villains to keep things interesting and to stop things getting menial.

[KentaRawr!]

Personally, I think only Loony BoB would be the main antagonist. He'd be like Lex Luthor, and has near complete control over the city! WarrenW is actually Loony BoB from the future, when he takes over the city. He comes back and sends Loony BoB's superiors out of power, allowing his charade called "Ciddies" to influence the population more-so, allowing WarrenW to take over the world much quicker than he had before.

Edit: That was in reply to Sagensyg, by the way.

[Lawr]

Ok whatever sounds good! :D

[Shauna]

I was thinking soap opera too. :D

[Jimsour]

I cant see how a forum would be a story.

[Goldenboko]

It depends, if it was going to be written as an odd fantasy book it would be written as such...


"Once in an age long gone by, in fact, before the concept of time had even been concieved, there was a void. From this void came a hill. From this hill sprouted a small plant. From the plant's newly-blooming flower buds, a divine being, known only as Cid, was born. Cid, newly born into the void soon became lonely, and created our world. This world we call Eyes on Final Fantasy."
-Book of EoFF Lore, Prologue

"Long ago in a by gone era, there was a small boy named Jade. Jade lived in a condo with his mother, father, eight brothers and sisters, along with their four cats. One day, Jade discovered Eyes of Final Fantasy. Captivated by this jewel of the Internet, Jade soon became swallowed by Eyes on Final Fantasy (a.k.a. EoFF) charms and appeal. He initially logged on as 'zidane gurl' but soon changed his name to 'kimahris girl loves debbie' and then eventually, 'on the lam celestialbreeze'. He changed his name so much, no one was ever sure what his name was. Soon, Jade forgot even his own name. And so did his family..."
-Book of EoFF Lore, canto 29

"As the golden orb of the sun disappeared over the horizon, the people of the cozy village, Urpa'burpa, laid down to rest. But alas, their quiet evening was interrupted by the arrival of something terrible. A demon, known only as the LunarWeaver crossed the village gates and entered the quiet town. There, it ransacked all of the Bed, Bath & Beyonds, drank the blood of numerous children, and established himself as a big manwhore. The Lunar Weaver then disappeared into the night, and returned on the eve of every full moon to terrorize the village once more."
-Book of EoFF Lore, verse 69

"In the many years before the discovery of fire, and before the Colonel invented the chicken, there was a mighty queen. This queen, Queen Eileen Cassandra Juclecia Raquel Amidalis XIII, was revered through out the land as the most beautiful and kind ruler of all. But one day, she awoke, and discovered her hair was a mess. She attempted to quell the raging mop of hair on top of her head, but alas, the comb availed her not. She soon appeared before the people. Amused by her bizarre hairdo, they laughed at her. Queen Eileen was so embarassed, she fled her castle and thrust herself off the top of the highest mountain in the land..."
-Book of EoFF Lore, passage 369

"And as the clouds were ripped asunder by cobalt bolts of lightning, the magical pope, Shiny, appeared before the people. She said to them, Fear Me not, for I am your savior. Bring me the blood of a newborn baby walrus, and all of your burdens shall be lifted. But the villagers could not find a newborn baby walrus, and Shiny, using her esoteric magic pope powers, slayed them all."
-Book of EoFF Lore, canto 666

"Once upon a time, the earth was not as it is now. The earth was dominated not by humans, but chocobos. These chocobos were all ruled by the chocobo with the goldest feathers of them all, the Goldenboco. The Goldenboco was loved by all of the female (and even some of the male) chocobos of the land. But one day, the Goldenboco discovered a new thing, the human. The Goldenboco befriended the humans and kept up friendly relations between chocobos and humans. But alas, one day the humans attacked the chocobos, brutally slaughtering them and deep frying their limp corpses. The Goldenboco, disgusted by the treachery of man, fled into the mountains, never to be seen again."
-Book of EoFF Lore, paragraph 911

"As the great Goldenboco fled from the chaos wrought by mankind, he stumbled upon a witch. This witch, having the head of a chocobo, was called the Chocobo_Head* (The meaning of the underscore and asterisk remain unknown). The Goldenboco cautiously approached the witch, his knees trembling with each move closer to the witch. Come closer, said Chocobo_Head*, I have something to give you...The Goldenboco, mesmerized by the witchs soothing voice, quickly trodded up to the witch. He peered into the witch's cauldron and was overtaken by the nigh orgasmic smell of his favorite food; smoked Mimmet Greens with sauteed Pahsana Greens, and a frothy cup of shredded Gysahl Greens. The aroma clouded his memory and loosening the Goldenboco's sense of logic and judgment, and he soon was lost in a haze of passionate longing for a bite of this mystic feast. But the witch had other things in mind...
-Book of EoFF Lore, paragraph 912

"The witch cackled her hideous witch laughter. With each thunderous bellow of her silky voice, the mountain shook. The Goldenboko (The texts alter the mythic being's name for an unknown reason) pleaded with the witch, begging for just one taste of her tantalizing spread. She looked down at him, pity glazing her eyes, and struck a deal: If he journeyed to the Root Beer Forum (the archaic name for the Art Forum), and retrieve the mystic Stone of Marick, she would hand over the meal. Overcome with lust for the meal, he ran down the face of a mighty precipice (one of the 12 miracles of the Goldnboko), and headed south towards the desolate and arid land known as the Root Beer Forum."
-Book of EoFF Lore, paragraph 913

"After days of journeying through the tremendous jungle known as General Chat, Goldenboko stopped to rest at a large waterfall. He thrust his head towards the water, gulping down as much of the refreshing crystal blue water he could. Suddenly, he heard a strange thud behind him. He turned and saw that he was facing straight into the jagged maw of a fearsome skwiwoo (a now extinct form of giant squirrel). The skwiwoo raised it's large tail and swung it, Goldnboko barely dodging. The skwiwoo then leapt into the air, then slammed down hard against the jungle floor, shaking the entire General Chat Forum. Still, Goldenboko stood his ground. He dodged each swipe of the skwiwoo's claws, and countered each kick of it's large hindlegs. The skwiwoo started to grow weary and leapt to the top of a high tree, hoping to regain its strength. The Goldenboko took this opprotunity to make his move. He ran over to the base of the tree, and with all of his might, he kicked, snapping the tree in two. The tree then collapsed, cushing the skwiwoo with brutal force. Thus, the 2nd miracle of the Goldenboko was accomplished, defeating the fearsome skwiwoo."
-Book of EoFF Lore, paragraph 914

"The Goldenboko was drunken with pride over his victory. Not many could say they had successfully slain a full-grown skwiwoo. He soon grew hungry and took off into the jungle in search of food. He finally found a small grove not far from the waterfall. Perched on the grove's highest tree was a piece of fruit. This was no ordinary fruit. It's skin was the color of fresh baby grass, spotted with pink spots and golden stripes. It shimmered like a freshly-cut diamond. The Goldenboko became instantly infatuated with the fruit. He flapped his yellow Chocobo wings and flew a short height up to the trunk of the tree. he clutched the trunk and slowly shimmied up the height of the tree, the fruit growing more irresitable with each move. As he reached the top of the tree, his little Choco stomach achingly awaited the delectable treat. He slowly reached out for the prize, when suddenly, a streak of orange raced across his line of sight, and the fruit was gone. The Goldenboko, startled, fell towards the forest floor, landing with a hard thud. He angrily got up and dusted himself off. Who dare snatch his precious fruit!? He heard snickering behind him and turned to see a Moomba. The Moomba clutched the fruit to it's chest and giggled in a mischievous way, it's grin stretching from ear to ear. The Goldenboko, outraged, approach the Moomba, his eyes glazed over in fury..."-Book of EoFF Lore, verse 915

"The Goldenboko marched over to the Moomba, his feathers pointing straight out due to the intense anger within the Chocobo. The Moomba did not move an inch, keeping that smirk on it's face despite the alarming rate at which the infuriated Goldenboko was charging. Not even a yard away from the fruti thief, the Goldenboko stopped dead in his tracks. He gazed straight into the large, ice blue eyes of the Moomba. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. The Goldenboko bowed down low, his beak centimeters away from the ground (a sign of great respect in Chocobo culture). The little Moomba giggled and then wiggled her toes some. The Goldenboko flashed a quick smile at the Moomba's actions...Was she trying to seduce him? He then stood fully erect, and stood at least 8 inches over the Moomba. The Goldenboko looked down at her, a stern look in his eye. He stoicly demanded she hand over the delectable fruit. She shook her head and giggled more. He bent over, his beak not an inch away from her face. He stared hard into her azure eyes, trying to penetrate her ice with his fire. Then, he was hit with a suckerpunch. The Moomba stretched her neck out and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. The Goldenboko was very taken aback, stumbling several paces back He shook his head, the hypnotic kiss clouding his mind. Why did she do that? What does she want? By the time the Goldenboko had pondered these thoughts, the beautiful Moomba maiden had disappeared into the foilage of the lush jungle. Intrigued, the Goldenboko set after the Moomba girl-and his fruit..."
-Book of EoFF Lore, verse 916

"After the magical pope, Shiny, slayed the infidel of the walrus village (see canto 666), an uproar rose up from the gods. The villagers whom the magical pope had slayed were devoted followers of the great thunder fire god, Itsunari 5000. Disgusted by Shiny's massacre of his followers, Itsunari 5000 rose up and waged a cosmic war against the magical pope. As Itsunari 5000 plotted his scheme against Shiny, an elite squad of loyalists (loyal to Shiny) fled to a vast and empty place, known as the Video Game Music/The Spirits Within forum, and set up their base. But Shiny's warriors had no idea what the fire god had in store for them."
-Book of EoFF Lore, verse 1001

If not then it would be exactly like EoFF Playin' (http://forums.eyesonff.com/writers-corner/96468-eoff-playin.html), and EoFF Playin' II (http://forums.eyesonff.com/writers-corner/105580-eoff-playin-ii.html).

[Jessweeee♪]

It would be a story I could tell my grandchildren!

[Rye]

Listen to my story. This may be our last chance... A city destroyed a thousand years ago. I thought I had wanted to see it for myself. The goal of Mr. MILF's journey. And the final chapter of my story... All sorts of feelings flooded me... and I pushed them down. It was more than words could describe...

[Jojee]

Soap opera, definitely. With slow motion and cheesy music and all that good stuff ;) Lots of kissing and unwanted pregnancies.

[Griff]

With multiple storylines all happening at once and randomly mixing together. Like a soap opera, or heroes.

[Shiny]

These stories are forgetting a critical component. They should all conclude with "THE END."

[Shlup]

Once upon a time a bunch of nerds had no lives. The End

Now pay me.

[Shiny]

Once upon a time a bunch of nerds had no lives. The End

Now pay me.
=[ Can I pay you in pennies?

[Captain Maxx Power]

And why would it be told that way?

I, personally, think it would work great as a comic book. It has all the right elements to it. We have a Super Hero in disguise (Sanwich Man/Del Murder), a ton of politicians to rag on him (See: EoEO (http://forums.eyesonff.com/eyes-each-other/)) men and women with high political power, (The Administrators), the police (Cid's knights), and the main plot device of the story whom is actually tricking everyone from behind the shadows with periodic events glorifying specific members, a thing he is free to rig. (Award Guy/Loony BoB)

So, if EyesonFF was a story of sorts, how would you tell it, and why?

That's the most Elitist story I've ever heard ever.

Of course the story would revolve around my attempts to bring balance to The Force EoFF.

[Lawr]

You could be the Captain of an Anti-BooB Faction called the FEOK's. We use guerilla tactic to silence our enemies and yell out cool sounding attacks and stuff like that.

[Vincent, Thunder God]

I think a parody of a soap opera would work pretty well. I know I'd find it funny. There tends to be a lot of melodrama, it's very fitting.

[Aerith's Knight]

it would start with introducing the awsome UFFF, and ending with him living happily ever after with all the eyesonff girls

[Loony BoB]

I just want you all to know that this thread is awesome and I think we should make a combined effort to write a book about EoFF someday. I know loads of people have done short works based on EoFF before. We should gather those together, too.

[Jessweeee♪]

We should!


I will be the one who reads it. GET TO WORK SO I CAN DO MY JOB ; ;

[Madame Adequate]

It would be a grand space opera. DK and Psy would rule a planet with an iron fist; Bun Bun and BoB would be refugees from it, and their child, Jojee, would set about on a quest to bring down the regime and bring her homeworld (Which she has never even set eyes on) back into the respected galactic community. I would be Prime Minister MILF of the Allied Colonies, Rye would be Leader of the Opposition in the Galactic Parliament, and we would overcome our differences in our desire to help Jojee free her homeworld without starting a war, thereby ushering in a new age of galactic consensus, cooperation, and justice.

Jojee would be accompanied by allies such as Face, Raebus, and everyone's favorite plucky starship captain, Shlup.

[NeoCracker]

The only possible way to tell the story of EoFF is if you were hammered at a bar, and the story changes a little every time you tell it.

[~*~Celes~*~]

Soap opera, definitely. With slow motion and cheesy music and all that good stuff ;) Lots of kissing and unwanted pregnancies.

Seconded xD


I just want you all to know that this thread is awesome and I think we should make a combined effort to write a book about EoFF someday. I know loads of people have done short works based on EoFF before. We should gather those together, too.

YES YES YES ^^ I love this idea!

[NeoCracker]

Alright BoB, if you want all the EoFF Stories made, I bring back the only book finished for the EoFF Bible EE started a while back.

My Book Baby.

Note, this was made as a bit of a Parody on the Tale of Moses.

And Yes, there really was a member named c1d and he really did say that. ANd yes, Leeza banned him.

http://forums.eyesonff.com/writers-corner/78966-my-story.html

[Tavrobel]

Nerds on the run
Geeks in the sun
Looking out for number one
EoFF, here we come
EoFF, here we come

We need more swish-fast-action camera pwnaging motion, like in Las Vegas, where they can see and hear everything! Or we can turn this into one giant soap opera. Ohh man, who will Jojee flirt with this week? Sexy, sexy Bernardo with the sexy mustache, or Johnny F. Q. with the God-loving beard? Tune in next week.