Mommy, where is Santa?

[edczxcvbnm]

<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071203/od_afp/swedenchristmaskyrgyzstansantaoffbeat;_ylt=AiQ28L4t6Wl6sgj1QU59d1Ks0NUE">
"He has 34 microseconds at each stop" to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.</a>

So I guess Santa burst into flames and died?

[Rye]

SANTA DIED?! :kaocry2:

[Jess]

Thanks for ruining my Christmas, ed. :weep:

[Aerith's Knight]

this was made up decades ago

[Faris]

Science destroyed Santa. :(

[Madame Adequate]

Science destroyed Santa. :(

Another Glorious Victory.

[Aerith's Knight]

Science destroyed Santa. :(

Another Glorious Victory.


BOOYAKA SHENG!! :)

[Marshall Banana]

I found red and white fuzz on the carpet close to my Christmas tree when I was nine years old. Santa is fine.

[scrumpleberry]

<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071203/od_afp/swedenchristmaskyrgyzstansantaoffbeat;_ylt=AiQ28L4t6Wl6sgj1QU59d1Ks0NUE">
"He has 34 microseconds at each stop" to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.</a>

So I guess Santa burst into flames and died?


Of course not. He has the most powerful coolant in his engine known to man

OOC: Don't take me too seriously, I don't know jack squat about cars and I'm relatively rubbish at physics.

[cloud21zidane16]

Poor Santa:(

[No.78]

Santa is superhuman, he surpasses the trivial laws of physics.

Santa is alive and will live forever!!!!

*evil laughter*

[Jojee]

I am Santa x3 Ho ho ho. *strokes beard*

[Goldenboko]

Oh god... Oh god no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Black Angel]

Aww, now Christmas is ruined. =C

[Jessweeee♪]

You're forgetting that Santa's magic! I mean, he made reindeer FLY!

[Lynx]

Science destroyed Santa. :(

dont worry i plan on destroying Science.

[TyphoonThaReapa]

Everyone convert to Kwanzaa!!!:cool:

[Aerith's Knight]

to whatza?

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

I am Santa x3 Ho ho ho. *strokes beard*

*sits on lap* I want a PS3 for Christmas. GIVE ME NOW!

[Aerith's Knight]

I am Santa x3 Ho ho ho. *strokes beard*

*sits on lap* I want a PS3 for Christmas. GIVE ME NOW!


well.. if your giving them out..

gimme gimme! :)

[Heath]

What another fantastic example of science ruining the fun in life. For example, what causes water to turn into ice? Reverse dragons - of course - but science disagrees, meaning that people are taught downright lies in school and never truly understand how the world works. And now science has to go and kill Father Christmas. Oh the humanity.

[Jessweeee♪]

This is impossible! Santa's on TV right now :confused:

[Aerith's Knight]

What another fantastic example of science ruining the fun in life. What causes water to turn into ice? Reverse dragons, naturally but science disagrees. And now science has to go and kill Father Christmas. Oh the humanity.


not only that.. but science kills him every year..

[Rengori]

Aww, now Christmas is ruined. =C

I believe Manus did that to her years before science did.

[blackmage_nuke]

Santa is a ghost which allows him to travel and amazing speeds. he also has a really high spiritual energy level allowing him to hold the presents despite obvious handicap of being dead.

[boys from the dwarf]

Science destroyed Santa. :(

actually im pretty sure (At least i wouldn't be suprised) if those figures are made up but in a convincing way.

how the hell and why would anyone bother to work that out when people would believe any sciency sounding figures.

[Necronopticous]

<CENTER>http://www.JEREMYTIME/upload/scresize.jpg</CENTER>

[qwertysaur]

ed didn't post the entire article, or got it from a different source.

Does Santa exist? (http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-santa_exist.html)

[Bunny]

The secret is really good cocaine.

[Peegee]

No saying 'ho ho ho' -- it's offensive to wimminz

sauce (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat)

[Old Manus]

This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.

[blackmage_nuke]

This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.

"Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemism

[Captain Maxx Power]

This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.

"Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemism

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire indeed.

[Baloki]

<CENTER>http://www.JEREMYTIME/upload/scresize.jpg</CENTER>

[Old Manus]

This proves my hypothesis that Santa Claus is gay.

"Sliding down your chimney" is clearly a euthemism

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire indeed.I was thinking more about the 'flames' part.

[Christmas]

It might just take 7 seconds instead of 7 days for Santa to revive. :bigsmile:

[edczxcvbnm]

ed didn't post the entire article, or got it from a different source.

Does Santa exist? (http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-santa_exist.html)

Different source. Click the text as it is a link to a yahoo article that probably got it from the AP which probably got it from someplace else.

[The Ceej]

I was under the impression that Santa was magic and could stop time allowing him to deliver all the presents in an hour. I mean, in his time, it could take him weeks, but to us, it's only an hour. That's the way it was explained to me. And I never had a chimney, so he used the front door. He had a skeleton key. And whenever I questioned Santa's plausibility, my mother would compare it to the existance of God which, I guess in hindsight, was a bad move on her part. It would have probably been wiser for her to say, "You're right. There's no Santa."

Not that I don't believe in any form of god. I'm just not even close to the relgion she raised me (or any other known religion, for that matter).


No saying 'ho ho ho' -- it's offensive to wimminz

sauce (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat)

Yeah. Thanks to that, we're going to have right wing Christian conservatives try to change, "Don we now our gay apparel" to "Let's put on some Christmas clothes." Once you start banning things because they're offensive, you're on a slippery slope.

[Aerith's Knight]

I was under the impression that Santa was magic and could stop time allowing him to deliver all the presents in an hour. I mean, in his time, it could take him weeks, but to us, it's only an hour. That's the way it was explained to me. And I never had a chimney, so he used the front door. He had a skeleton key. And whenever I questioned Santa's plausibility, my mother would compare it to the existance of God which, I guess in hindsight, was a bad move on her part. It would have probably been wiser for her to say, "You're right. There's no Santa."

Not that I don't believe in any form of god. I'm just not even close to the relgion she raised me (or any other known religion, for that matter).


No saying 'ho ho ho' -- it's offensive to wimminz

sauce (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat)

Yeah. Thanks to that, we're going to have right wing Christian conservatives try to change, "Don we now our gay apparel" to "Let's put on some Christmas clothes." Once you start banning things because they're offensive, you're on a slippery slope.

he doesnt stop time :).. he just carries a nanoscale black hole that alters perception of time to outsiders

[Goldenboko]

Maybe Santa tears the Space time continuum a new spacehole.

[Breine]

This is impossible! Santa's on TV right now :confused:

Yes, and I saw him at the mall just this afternoon :confused:

[Goldenboko]

This is impossible! Santa's on TV right now :confused:

Yes, and I saw him at the mall just this afternoon :confused:

No no no. Santa doesn't have the time to go to all the malls and the TV studios so he sends look alikes to find out what everyone wants, and send his best wishes.

[Vivisteiner]

I have found the proof!

A Cal-Poly Engineer's Anti-Santa Prrof (http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/humor/calpoly.html)

[Goldenboko]

Ugh that Article doesn't know anything
Santa can clearly stop time. Therefore he has as much time as he needs and can go back to refill his presents all he wants.

[Bunny]

Santa does not follow simple human laws or logic like some silly mortal. Instead, he has his own general set of rules and regulations in which he must follow. These include his ability to be in more than one place at one time (up to an infinite number of possible locations) and his ability to travel faster than the speed of light, sound, or Superman. He also cannot be killed due to his super regenetive abilities that are greater than even Wolverine's. He is not effected by human weather conditions and is not confined to one specific body type. In fact, he can become any shape or size he wants to because he is Santa. Santa's possessions, most notably his reindeer and Santa Bag of Goodies, are also not confined to mere mortal laws. In fact, Santa's Reindeer are even be more powerful than the "man" himself. The only reason they follow him and work for him is because of some agreement they struck with Mrs. Claus before their Wedding. No such other information exists in this dimension or any other known dimensions (which Santa occasionally visits) on the nature of this bargin. Santa's Bag is most easily explained as "The much bigger brother of the common Bag of Holding found in many Dungeons and Dragons campaigns" (which Santa is a big fan of, he plays a level 70 Moon Elf Mohawk).

The source of all this information is "The Big Book of Santa" by F. C. and published by K. K. Inc.

[blackmage_nuke]

Maybe santa doesnt take the presents to the house but warps time and space around the presents to that the houses surround the presents.
Maybe the presents dont move at all but the universe moves around them.

[LunarWeaver]

I smell sabotage by Jesus. I hope he is dead and I never have to see Christmas stuff being put up in October anymore. I am a horrible person D: