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demondude
12-11-2007, 05:46 PM
What caused the civil war?

During 1642 Civil war broke out in England but it is hard to say why exactly due to there being many possible reasons.
First a number of religious changes took place during the time period which angered the Protestants and favoured the Catholics.
There were also a number of arguments between the English parliament and Charles I about money and power.
After a series of rebellions the civil war began which saw a dramatic change in British history today. In this essay I will be looking at the key points of the lead up and ultimately why the civil war happened in the first place.
In 1603 queen Elizabeth died after becoming “silent, crestfallen and lethargic” and after staying awake without nourishment for a lengthy period of two days. When she fell asleep she did not get up again.
James I took over the throne afterwards which signalled the end of the Tudors he then went on to rule great Britain for 22 years but it is debatable whether he did a good job or not.
Firstly, he was the son of Mary, queen of Scots but the citizens were disappointed as they wanted someone who was son of queen Elizabeth but instead they got James who was previously king of Scotland before he took control of Britain.
He was also considered “weak” and had disabilities with his mouth which meant that he could not drink without spilling half of it on himself.
King James’s reign was a strange one some disliked the fact that he didn’t do much and had noticeable flaws but however some enjoyed the peace of the reign and mourned when he died.
King Charles I became the English monarch during 1625, he was described as self-righteous, opinionated and confrontational but for the early part of his reign things went well and not many problems arose.
He believed in the divine right of kings which meant he believed he was god sent and was chosen to rule the country but some disagreed.
Charles made many decisions that angered the nation he lost money, changed the churches and attempted to gain absolute power but he didn’t manage to complete the last one after he was forced to flee halfway through the war and eventually was executed by his own nation.
It is widely believed that Charles caused the war but there are many reasons. In my opinion the religious changes were a major factor.
On the 13<SUP>th</SUP> of June he married Henrietta Maria of France who was a roman catholic this displeased the nation which was mostly protestant but this was just the first of many problems.
As time went by Charles slowly changed the way the churches worked first he made them more spectacular and distracting which was a catholic tradition and he also made William laud archbishop of Canterbury.
He attempted to impose order and authority to the church and broke up many puritan groups. He was also hostile to reformist tendencies of the English and Scottish.
A large amount of bishop wars broke out which unsettled the country and after changing the Scottish churches (that were very puritan) he caused a number of rebellions that were followed by the civil war.
During queen Elizabeth’s reign a small group known as the parliament began but in that time they were very small and had no real power.
Their intent was to help the king/queen rule the country better by giving them help and as they grew up they became power hungry and made demands.
King Charles had many money problems due to him spending too much on himself but according to the divine right of kings he should get money for free.
When the parliament started helping him directly they made demands of him and that he would only get money if he gave them more power.
King Charles thought this was an outrage but he couldn’t do anything so reluctantly he was forced to give if he wanted to receive which was something a king never had to do before.
Eventually he got fed up as he constantly needed money but the parliament persisted that they wanted power in return. This lead to Charles collecting a new tax known as ship tax without permission from the English parliament which angered them this lead to them retaliating by imprisoning his beloved archbishop Laud.
During 1642 king Charles snapped and sent four hundred soldiers and arrested five of the mps which pushed the relationship to the absolute edge.
Later on in 1642 saw the “nineteen resolutions” which was the parliament ignoring the divine right of kings and attempting to take all of the kings power this saw the end of the partnership and while the two forces were fighting the country fell apart which led to the civil war.
The English civil war is a confusing subject if king Charles wasn’t careless with his money then he could have avoided the arguments and could have paid more attention to his country.
But it was a sudden change for the king who was expecting large sums of money for free but was denied due to the demands from the parliament.
Penultimately however the religious changes were too sudden after a length of peace during the Tudor reign and due to the rebellions being badly handled because the king was distracted, It is my opinion that the religious changes caused the English civil war.









As you can see it isn't particularly brilliant but this is a first draft.
The final piece is in next thursday and I intend to improve and complete this part by friday.

So are there any points where I could do with a lot of improvement?

qwertysaur
12-11-2007, 07:14 PM
Break it into paragraphs. I only skimmed it right now and it seems like only a long list of facts.

demondude
12-11-2007, 07:17 PM
Break it into paragraphs. I only skimmed it right now and it seems like only a long list of facts.

It was in paragraphs but when I pasted it from Word processor they went.

Kirobaito
12-11-2007, 07:25 PM
Obviously, you're 15, so I don't know what gibberish your teacher is giving you, but in professionally done essays, don't refer to yourself in the first person.

Also, try to avoid using the word 'but'.

Your introduction should be one paragraph, not four.

Don't say 'queen Elizabeth', say 'Elizabeth I'.

Cite your quote there "silent, crestfallen, and lethargic").

I'll come back to the rest later... I have to go now, but I see quite a few changes that need to be made for a proper history essay. I may sound harsh, but I probably didn't write any better when I was fifteen.

demondude
12-11-2007, 07:32 PM
Obviously, you're 15, so I don't know what gibberish your teacher is giving you, but in professionally done essays, don't refer to yourself in the first person.

Also, try to avoid using the word 'but'.

Your introduction should be one paragraph, not four.

Don't say 'queen Elizabeth', say 'Elizabeth I'.

Cite your quote there "silent, crestfallen, and lethargic").

I'll come back to the rest later... I have to go now, but I see quite a few changes that need to be made for a proper history essay. I may sound harsh, but I probably didn't write any better when I was fifteen.

I knew it wasn't very good about halfway through typing it. XD
Thank you for the help though. :)

Hazzard
12-11-2007, 08:29 PM
Make sure you have a proper introduction, it draws in the reader. Also, don't tend to jumble a string of facts together, try to interlink all these facts, also add a bit of your personal opinion and knowledge on the issue. Use more quotes, and support it with concrete evidence. Just for nitpicking sake, maybe straighten up your grammar and use more commas when relevant, for example; "During 1642, Civil war broke out in England. However, it is hard to say why exactly, due to there being many possible reasons: (name reasons) "

demondude
12-11-2007, 08:33 PM
Make sure you have a proper introduction, it draws in the reader. Also, don't tend to jumble a string of facts together, try to interlink all these facts, also add a bit of your personal opinion and knowledge on the issue. Use more quotes, and support it with concrete evidence. Just for nitpicking sake, maybe straighten up your grammar and use more commas when relevant, for example; "During 1642, Civil war broke out in England. However, it is hard to say why exactly, due to there being many possible reasons: (name reasons) "

Added to my notes. :)

Aerith's Knight
12-12-2007, 02:26 AM
i dont know.. i do know how the first world war started though..

Heath
12-12-2007, 11:49 AM
As you're only in year 10/11, you obviously don't need to be getting into the habit of doing a references and be worry about being too advanced so far. What I would suggest and it's something that I find particularly useful now (as in, hoping to be at university studying history next year) is to deal with things thematically. As you have lots of small paragraphs you could group several of them together to make a more substantial single paragraph. For instance, your first point about the public disliking James I could be your first paragraph with the information about him being the son of Mary Queen of Scots and his physical feature put into one paragraph.

Sometimes I also like to consider a History essay a bit like you'll have been told to do an English essay which can get a bit laborious but usually gets the job done. Basically, I mean using a introductory sentence to your paragraph or the point you're trying to make, the evidence for the point and then analysing the point or reaching a conclusion from it. So for instance, in the case of your first paragraph you could mention that James I was unpopular with the English, put in the information about why he was disliked and then provide some analysis (e.g. whether his political actions made him any more popular).

demondude
12-12-2007, 06:35 PM
i dont know.. i do know how the first world war started though..

So do I. :p


As you're only in year 10/11, you obviously don't need to be getting into the habit of doing a references and be worry about being too advanced so far. What I would suggest and it's something that I find particularly useful now (as in, hoping to be at university studying history next year) is to deal with things thematically. As you have lots of small paragraphs you could group several of them together to make a more substantial single paragraph. For instance, your first point about the public disliking James I could be your first paragraph with the information about him being the son of Mary Queen of Scots and his physical feature put into one paragraph.

Sometimes I also like to consider a History essay a bit like you'll have been told to do an English essay which can get a bit laborious but usually gets the job done. Basically, I mean using a introductory sentence to your paragraph or the point you're trying to make, the evidence for the point and then analysing the point or reaching a conclusion from it. So for instance, in the case of your first paragraph you could mention that James I was unpopular with the English, put in the information about why he was disliked and then provide some analysis (e.g. whether his political actions made him any more popular).

Thanks that was really helpful. :)