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The Devil
01-19-2008, 04:18 PM
Hi I'm new, and I'm going to kill you all.

:bigsmile:

Polaris
01-19-2008, 04:19 PM
lol let's see who kills first? :bigsmile: *grabs my Death Note* What was ur name again?:D

Welcome to EyesonFF :kaocheer:

Rye
01-19-2008, 04:24 PM
Hey Devil. :kaoclove:

SammieBabe
01-19-2008, 05:23 PM
Welcome and bring it on, beeyotch.

escobert
01-19-2008, 05:24 PM
HELLO! I like you :bigsmile:

Goldenboko
01-19-2008, 05:39 PM
The First person who says Devil Man loses the internet!

Hi!

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 05:44 PM
Devil Man but reincarnated. Cool, me and you should get on well, devil.

Let's cause some friggin' havoc!

Goldenboko
01-19-2008, 05:53 PM
The First person who says Devil Man loses the internet!


Devil Man but reincarnated. Cool, me and you should get on well, devil.

Someone just lost the internet :rolleyes2

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 05:55 PM
Internet: "TERMINAL MALFUNCTION!!!"

Vincent, Thunder God
01-19-2008, 06:30 PM
Hi I'm new, and I'm going to kill you all.

:bigsmile:

Lolz, this is quite possibly the best opener I've ever read for a welcome thread - you did an old one justice with something new - finally! (It reminds me of a classic line from the Secret of Monkey Island, which btw you should play if you haven't.)

For that very reason, I choose to personally welcome you to Eoff (which I mostly stopped doing a while back), surely the most superb forum out there (minus the *coughcough* less than superb staff, but you'll come to learn that on your own). Nice to meet you, enjoy your time here, and please, stay a while. Far too many newbies die from the fabled newbie thread kiss of death.

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 07:14 PM
Hello, Lucifer. How's the knee?

The Devil
01-19-2008, 07:41 PM
Hello, Lucifer. How's the knee?

Rather good after the whole heaven revolt thing actually.

I like you...you shall die last. :bigsmile:

The Unknown Guru
01-19-2008, 07:47 PM
I had better get in here before I'm bumped to the top of the list.

LunarWeaver
01-19-2008, 07:53 PM
For the love of not-God, let me borrow your pitchfork sometime D:

Welcome to the forums!~

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 07:55 PM
How's Adolf doing down there, bud?

Also, soon enough you will learn the corrupt methods taken in action by the staff. That is when you join the revolution.

The Devil
01-19-2008, 08:09 PM
How's Adolf doing down there, bud?

Also, soon enough you will learn the corrupt methods taken in action by the staff. That is when you join the revolution.

The staff are corrupt? Oh goody more souls!!

P.S. Adolf is fine, he is currently bunking up with Saddam Hussain.

smittenkitten
01-19-2008, 08:14 PM
Welcome to Eoff! :mog: *karate chops*

Dolentrean
01-19-2008, 08:15 PM
If you kill me I will never talk to you ever again!

Also I am pretty cool, I think that you, as The Devil, could learn a thing or two from my style.

Zeldy
01-19-2008, 08:32 PM
Also, soon enough you will learn the corrupt methods taken in action by the staff. That is when you join the revolution.

xD

The staff are actually pretty neat. Hi~

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 08:53 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

The Devil
01-19-2008, 08:57 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I say we drug her and do some rather inappropriate things...:greenie:

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 08:59 PM
Mr. Devil, lets not cross such delicate boundaries. The staff don't take kindly to those suggestive comments...I told you their corrupt.

The Devil
01-19-2008, 09:04 PM
Mr. Devil, lets not cross such delicate boundaries. The staff don't take kindly to those suggestive comments...I told you their corrupt.

I would cry if my eyes weren't waterlogged.

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 09:21 PM
Hello, Lucifer. How's the knee?

Rather good after the whole heaven revolt thing actually.

I like you...you shall die last. :bigsmile:

Glad to hear it. I hear that jackass Gabriel pulled a cheap shot on you. I never liked him. When he was waffling at the shepherds, I lobbed a stone at the back of his head. You'd think, being all holy and that, he'd take the higher path. But no. The sunnovabitch turned me into an immortal fox for 2317 years. It really sucks being chased for hours, then having your neck broken by some random dog, your blood smeared on some child's face, and then waking up and having to do the whole bloody thing all over again.

Hmm. In all honesty, I'd prefer to die the least. But still, if I must go, I'm gonna make you wait. You've still got another 309 years to go, chuck.

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 09:31 PM
Mr. Devil, lets not cross such delicate boundaries. The staff don't take kindly to those suggestive comments...I told you their corrupt.

I would cry if my eyes weren't waterlogged.

Easy on, Devil. Don't cry me a river. (crappy pun intended) :)

Goldenboko
01-19-2008, 09:48 PM
Just wondering but, what would happen if Holy Water splashed upon you?

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 09:51 PM
Holy Water isn't a member yet. If that did happen, however, the little bugger best wipe him off afterwards.

Denmark
01-19-2008, 09:53 PM
How are things with Saddam and Chris?

The Devil
01-19-2008, 10:00 PM
Hello, Lucifer. How's the knee?

Rather good after the whole heaven revolt thing actually.

I like you...you shall die last. :bigsmile:

Glad to hear it. I hear that jackass Gabriel pulled a cheap shot on you. I never liked him. When he was waffling at the shepherds, I lobbed a stone at the back of his head. You'd think, being all holy and that, he'd take the higher path. But no. The sunnovabitch turned me into an immortal fox for 2317 years. It really sucks being chased for hours, then having your neck broken by some random dog, your blood smeared on some child's face, and then waking up and having to do the whole bloody thing all over again.

Hmm. In all honesty, I'd prefer to die the least. But still, if I must go, I'm gonna make you wait. You've still got another 309 years to go, chuck.

Well I always did like Gabriel's sense of how to cause suffering. Only if he swung the other way *sigh*

I cant wait for your departure, like a fine wine I'll savour it's rich flavour. :bigsmile:

cloud21zidane16
01-19-2008, 10:01 PM
Welcome to EoFF:evilking: :beer:

The Devil
01-19-2008, 10:05 PM
Welcome to EoFF:evilking: :beer:

Welcome to HELL :evilking: :beer:

Tallulah
01-19-2008, 10:06 PM
Wellcome to EoFF.

You'll fit in here just fine. :)

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 10:07 PM
Can The Devil die too?

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 10:08 PM
Shame indeed. Still, everyone has their price. I hear Gabby likes shiny things.

Ha. As if Hell could handle me anyway. Fortify your defences, lad. You've only got a few centuries left.

The Devil
01-19-2008, 10:20 PM
Shame indeed. Still, everyone has their price. I hear Gabby likes shiny things.

Ha. As if Hell could handle me anyway. Fortify your defences, lad. You've only got a few centuries left.

Threatening The Devil is not a wise decision boy, I have lived countless lifetimes more than you could ever imagine. I command an army that could blot out the sun with thier leathery wings. A war with hell is a place in time that not even the bravest of angels or GOD's dare to tread.

So why should you? :evilking:

scrumpleberry
01-19-2008, 10:21 PM
May I ask you a few questions?


Do you like to toast marshmallows on your tail down there?

Also, who is your favourite villain of all time, aside from yourself?

Which of your various names and incarnations do you like the best?

That's a weight off my mind!

:cookie:

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 10:23 PM
Gods you say? Pah. They have nothing on me, child.

The Devil
01-19-2008, 10:32 PM
May I ask you a few questions?


Do you like to toast marshmallows on your tail down there?

Also, who is your favourite villain of all time, aside from yourself?

Which of your various names and incarnations do you like the best?

That's a weight off my mind!

:cookie:

1. No I toast people.
2. Kefka (completely crazy, full of malice, and without a care or conscience for anything)
3. Lucifer or Master would do fine.

P.S. Thanks for the cookie! :evilking:

scrumpleberry
01-19-2008, 10:36 PM
2. Kefka (completely crazy, full of malice, and without a care or conscience for anything)


*fangirls*

Wait until Avarice gets here. She will love you forever. Yeah, nihilism pwns, doesn't it?

P.S. Thank YOU for answering. It's nice to know that common courtesy deosn't have to be sacrificed to make way for evil genius.

Huckleberry Quin
01-19-2008, 10:43 PM
Since when has courtesy been common? Same goes with sense. :(

NeoCracker
01-19-2008, 10:47 PM
One day, many weeks ago, an epic battle was Waged.

Devil Man had tried to return to the forums, though on his way, he was cut off by a man. The Man, to be specific.

In their epic showdown, their powers collided and fused a new being. The Man in them both had been destroyed in the fusion, leaving behind a ruthless being of hate and malice.

That being is known as "The Devil".

scrumpleberry
01-19-2008, 10:50 PM
Since when has courtesy been common? Same goes with sense. :(

XD

Courtesy which IDEALISTICALLY SHOULD BE COMMON then.

Hazzard
01-19-2008, 10:52 PM
I love you, The Devil.

...I hope God never heard that :eek:

The Devil
01-19-2008, 10:54 PM
2. Kefka (completely crazy, full of malice, and without a care or conscience for anything)


*fangirls*

Wait until Avarice gets here. She will love you forever. Yeah, nihilism pwns, doesn't it?

P.S. Thank YOU for answering. It's nice to know that common courtesy deosn't have to be sacrificed to make way for evil genius.

Nihilism is certainly interesting. Morality is a second hand over used tired old idealogy anyhow.

P.S. I may want to destroy, maim and kill with every fibre of my being but doesnt mean I'm going to be rude now does it? :P

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 04:51 AM
Shame indeed. Still, everyone has their price. I hear Gabby likes shiny things.

Ha. As if Hell could handle me anyway. Fortify your defences, lad. You've only got a few centuries left.

Threatening The Devil is not a wise decision boy, I have lived countless lifetimes more than you could ever imagine. I command an army that could blot out the sun with thier leathery wings. A war with hell is a place in time that not even the bravest of angels or GOD's dare to tread.

So why should you? :evilking:


Gods you say? Pah. They have nothing on me, child.

major :lol:

Classic instawin





2. Kefka (completely crazy, full of malice, and without a care or conscience for anything)


*fangirls*

Wait until Avarice gets here. She will love you forever. Yeah, nihilism pwns, doesn't it?

P.S. Thank YOU for answering. It's nice to know that common courtesy deosn't have to be sacrificed to make way for evil genius.

Nihilism is certainly interesting. Morality is a second hand over used tired old idealogy anyhow.

P.S. I may want to destroy, maim and kill with every fibre of my being but doesnt mean I'm going to be rude now does it? :P

That too :bigsmile:

Dolentrean
01-20-2008, 05:15 AM
I think me and you may share some common interests The Devil.

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 05:22 AM
I love you, The Devil.

...I hope God never heard that :eek:

I have to concur!

Oh, and this...


One day, many weeks ago, an epic battle was Waged.

Devil Man had tried to return to the forums, though on his way, he was cut off by a man. The Man, to be specific.

In their epic showdown, their powers collided and fused a new being. The Man in them both had been destroyed in the fusion, leaving behind a ruthless being of hate and malice.

That being is known as "The Devil".

... was the first time I ever gained any type of mirth from a cracker post (well, other than unintended mirth). You're moving up, cracker. Moving up.

----------------------------------------------------



Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I say we drug her and do some rather inappropriate things...:greenie:



Also, soon enough you will learn the corrupt methods taken in action by the staff. That is when you join the revolution.

xD

The staff are actually pretty neat. Hi~




Mr. Devil, lets not cross such delicate boundaries. The staff don't take kindly to those suggestive comments...I told you their corrupt.

I would cry if my eyes weren't waterlogged.

Easy on, Devil. Don't cry me a river. (crappy pun intended) :)




Hello, Lucifer. How's the knee?

Rather good after the whole heaven revolt thing actually.

I like you...you shall die last. :bigsmile:

Glad to hear it. I hear that jackass Gabriel pulled a cheap shot on you. I never liked him. When he was waffling at the shepherds, I lobbed a stone at the back of his head. You'd think, being all holy and that, he'd take the higher path. But no. The sunnovabitch turned me into an immortal fox for 2317 years. It really sucks being chased for hours, then having your neck broken by some random dog, your blood smeared on some child's face, and then waking up and having to do the whole bloody thing all over again.

Hmm. In all honesty, I'd prefer to die the least. But still, if I must go, I'm gonna make you wait. You've still got another 309 years to go, chuck.

I just keep re-reading this for the laughs. :greenie:

rubah
01-20-2008, 08:41 AM
buenas dias 8)

Ramza Beoulve
01-20-2008, 09:10 AM
buenas dias 8)*ahem* It's "Buenos días" :eep:.

Welcome, evildoer, to this place found in nowhere.

Calliope
01-20-2008, 10:21 AM
I'll strike you a deal?

Jiro
01-20-2008, 11:30 AM
I'll welcome you too, though I'm not at all important :)
Welcome and enjoy your stay!

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2008, 11:46 AM
The Devil brings out the best of me.

That'd be worrying if it weren't for the fact that I'm no big fan of God. One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

Old Manus
01-20-2008, 12:27 PM
SPOILER: New member is actually a devout christian

Kanshisha
01-20-2008, 01:02 PM
it is sad to know the person who is behind the member " The Devil ".

I mean seriously. and welcome...

Breine
01-20-2008, 01:32 PM
Hey there Mr. Devil and welcome to EoFF :) It's always nice to get some new members, especially the ones with good grammar like yourself..

Freya
01-20-2008, 03:35 PM
Mr. Devil, if you kill us all how will we worship you. I mean we'd go to hell but seriously? We'd be very unhappy worshippers. You should work on making us love you while alive. Yet, you seem to be doing so now, so I don't know why I brought it up :D

Oh and by the way. WELCOME (caps makes it important.)

Martyr
01-20-2008, 03:41 PM
So...

The Devil introduces himself with "Aloha?"

Well Aloha, red man.

Remember that you cannot kill that which is already dead.

or nonliving

Shauna
01-20-2008, 04:56 PM
Welcome Mister T. Devil. Stick around. You seem pretty cool. :p

The Devil
01-20-2008, 05:41 PM
One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

Zeldy
01-20-2008, 07:02 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I say we drug her and do some rather inappropriate things...:greenie:

>:O!

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 07:08 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I must concur with this. Zeldy's a nice girl nevertheless though. :)

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 07:28 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I must concur with this. Zeldy's a nice girl nevertheless though. :)

That's what she wants you to think. :rolleyes2

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 07:32 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I must concur with this. Zeldy's a nice girl nevertheless though. :)

That's what she wants you to think. :rolleyes2

Heh, probably.

Shauna
01-20-2008, 07:35 PM
Don't listen to Zeldy. She's been brainwashed...:shifty:

I must concur with this. Zeldy's a nice girl nevertheless though. :)

Ahahaha. :hahaha: That was a good one.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2008, 08:49 PM
One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

You too. But I was actually talking about God. He's not great, I admit, but damn that boy has style!

The Devil
01-20-2008, 08:51 PM
One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

You too. But I was actually talking about God. He's not great, I admit, but damn that boy has style!

If you like the whole poor boy makes good look, maybe... :rolleyes2

Also sandals with a dress thats soooooooo 2000 years ago.

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 08:53 PM
One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

You too. But I was actually talking about God. He's not great, I admit, but damn that boy has style!

I object! The Devil brims with style, God doesn't even have the guts to show us his face. :mad:

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 09:01 PM
One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

You too. But I was actually talking about God. He's not great, I admit, but damn that boy has style!

If you like the whole poor boy makes good look, maybe... :rolleyes2

Also sandals with a dress thats soooooooo 2000 years ago.





One thing I have to admit to, though: He does wear fantastic shoes.

I really think they highlight my eyes dont you think? ;)

You too. But I was actually talking about God. He's not great, I admit, but damn that boy has style!

I object! The Devil brims with style, God doesn't even have the guts to show us his face. :mad:

Classic!

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2008, 09:09 PM
Oh, he's given up the sandals. He's got himself some wicked Skechers now. He said he likes 'em more because he can actually run in them. The sandals kept smacking the back of his head before.

He really should've foreseen that, though. FAIL.

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 09:12 PM
Oh, he's given up the sandals. He's got himself some wicked Skechers now. He said he likes 'em more because he can actually run in them. The sandals kept smacking the back of his head before.

He really should've foreseen that, though. FAIL.

:lol:

My, you and Hazzard and the Devil should be a comedy troupe. You just work off each other so well!

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 09:13 PM
He really should've foreseen that, though. FAIL.

Concrete evidence, and a direct quote. God fails (at times) while The Devil reigns supreme...Hahahahahahahhaha!!!! :radred:

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2008, 09:15 PM
This is, put simply, the greatest newbie thread ever created.

And, not only that, but it also shows that The Devil is good for the soul. Look how much better myself and Hazzard are doing! And what's that? VTG's posting more is he? Damn bloody right he is.

Praise be to Lucifer.

Look down in one second.

The Devil
01-20-2008, 09:15 PM
Oh, he's given up the sandals. He's got himself some wicked Skechers now. He said he likes 'em more because he can actually run in them. The sandals kept smacking the back of his head before.

He really should've foreseen that, though. FAIL.

:lol:

My, you and Hazzard and the Devil should be a comedy troupe. You just work off each other so well!

There have been talks. :bigsmile:

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 09:17 PM
I have to admit, this newbie thread has raked my popularity through the roof.

Me and my associates will negotiate contract details shortly, if the right offer comes by...

Dolentrean
01-20-2008, 09:17 PM
The Devil sure has style one would have to admit. But his skin leaves alot to be desired...

And God always looks like he just got back from a huge frat party, not how one wants to dress when the have a world to be running if I do say so myself.

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 09:18 PM
The Devil sure has style one would have to admit. But his skin leaves alot to be desired...

And God always looks like he just got back from a huge frat party, not how one wants to dress when the have a world to be running if I do say so myself.

He does tend to be incompetent at times.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2008, 09:20 PM
Welcome to Blasphemy Central. On your left is a picture of Jesus on the Cross being urinated on, and if you take the next right, you'll find some Bibles to scoff at.

Dolentrean
01-20-2008, 09:21 PM
Seriously, though I also think The Devil should consider casual friday, I personally think it would make the whole place alot more relaxed if The Devil came in with a hawiian shirt... but thats just me...

The Devil
01-20-2008, 09:21 PM
Me and my associates will negotiate contract details shortly, if the right offer comes by...

How about you get to keep your soul? :evilking:

Alive-Cat
01-20-2008, 09:22 PM
Okay, diddly-O. Here's some advice: You need attitude. Your pristine upholding of morals is quite frankly gruelling.
Consider:
Changing your username to that of a menacing figure; someone/something that strikes fear into the general public. Maybe something from the bible. You must personify this username into your online character and uphold it at all costs.
Secondly, refer to those around you as lesser beings to yourself, as if you are in fact some kind of deity and they are underlings to your menacing power.
Also, your avatar should match your username. For instance, if you had chosen for the first instruction a grisly bear, then your avatar should be that of a snarling grisly bear. Capeesh?
And lastly, eat a bar of soap.
Follow these simple guidelines and you'll be well on your way to becoming a striking and admired member of the Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums.

Dolentrean
01-20-2008, 09:22 PM
How about you get to keep your soul? :evilking:


Get with the program! this is the 21's century! Souls are for mormons and Barak Obama!

Hazzard
01-20-2008, 09:23 PM
Me and my associates will negotiate contract details shortly, if the right offer comes by...

How about you get to keep your soul? :evilking:

Haha, they don't call me Hazzard for nothing, Lucifer.

So don't test my patience, evildoer. :tongue:

scrumpleberry
01-20-2008, 09:33 PM
I object! The Devil brims with style, God doesn't even have the guts to show us his face. :mad:

Wrong. Lucifer shows us a thousand different faces, none of them real. He's like the black mage in 8-Bit Theatre: if we saw his actual face, we'd be like "KSXBFKDGBFGKTGP TRAUMA!!!!!!!!" I think it would be a nice punishment for the 7th circle of hell, but, you know, that's just what I'd do in your position. (I'd love to come and visit one day, I find your methods fascinating, but the Styx is just so expensive to cross these days.)

I expect something similar is true of God. Only more like "SDOFUDKGNDGHJN NIRVANA...!" but then everyone would be Bhudda and I don't think that would be good for the mental state of the world. Nothing would get done but meditation and there would be no measure of evil to define good against by comparison.

Vincent, Thunder God
01-20-2008, 09:33 PM
Me and my associates will negotiate contract details shortly, if the right offer comes by...

How about you get to keep your soul? :evilking:

Haha, they don't call me Hazzard for nothing, Lucifer.

So don't test my patience, evildoer. :tongue:

*grins*

You tell 'im, Hazz!




I object! The Devil brims with style, God doesn't even have the guts to show us his face. :mad:

Wrong. Lucifer shows us a thousand different faces, none of them real. He's like the black mage in 8-Bit Theatre: if we saw his actual face, we'd be like "KSXBFKDGBFGKTGP TRAUMA!!!!!!!!" I think it would be a nice punishment for the 7th circle of hell, but, you know, that's just what I'd do in your posi<b></b>tion. (I'd love to come and visit one day, I find your methods fascinating, but the Styx is just so expensive to cross these days.)

I expect something similar is true of God. Only more like "SDOFUDKGNDGHJN NIRVANA...!" but then everyone would be Bhudda and I don't think that would be good for the mental state of the world. Nothing would get done but meditation and there would be no measure of evil to define good against by comparison.

The Devil
01-20-2008, 10:15 PM
Welcome to Blasphemy Central. On your left is a picture of Jesus on the Cross being urinated on, and if you take the next right, you'll find some Bibles to scoff at.

Sounds like one of my movie nights.

Jiro
01-21-2008, 06:35 AM
I bet you get all the good movies too. Much better than the random Christian ones. But evil tickles my fancy much more than holy-ness.

The Devil
01-21-2008, 06:43 AM
I bet you get all the good movies too. Much better than the random Christian ones. But evil tickles my fancy much more than holy-ness.

That's why hell has 6,168,525,685,666 members and counting and heaven only has 1,700. :bigsmile:

Leeza
01-21-2008, 06:46 AM
This has gone past being a newbie thread. I think you all should take this to IM.