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rubah
03-13-2008, 05:51 AM
Hi mr. burgess if you're using some sort of interweb "tool" to check this document for fraudities!

I'd like some feedback on this, preferably by sometime not exceeding midnight tomorrow, if not 2pm Central Daylight Time.

<div style ="max-width: 800px; text-align: center;"><div style ="max-width: 600px; line-height: 3em; text-align: justify; margin: auto; font-family: serif; font-size: 12pt;text-indent: 1.3em;"> <p>It was a mistake when the states lost their rights to secession. The states were united under the idea that power would be kept out of the hold of any central authority, whether it be a solitary person or a certain group of persons, but the freedom of the states to do as they wished has dwindled considerably. Aside from making the states play nice with one another and presenting a united front to the rest of the world, the Federal government should reconsider the mass of activity within its hive. Perhaps drastic changes need to be enacted, like finding a way to gracefully egress Iraq and resign from the role of “Police-man of the world”. It cannot be a surprise that the Federal government would not want the states to rule for themselves when they cannot let an entire people rule themselves on the other side of the world. I suppose, then, that my political ideologies fall along Libertarian lines; keep big government out, and let the rule rest closer to home. </p><p>The route our states have begun on is one of assimilation. This is most obvious in the airports and shopping malls, where the human experience is reduced to a few common denominators of food and fashion and fun, and it is replicated across dozens and hundreds and thousands of locations across the continent and even shipped overseas. Every city is trying to make the living experience as familiar as possible, and in the process, loses its identity, desperate for name brands to bring in sales tax, rather than serving as a place where people can live and govern their lives.</p> <p>As a result, the citizen has almost perished; if every place is the same, then what need is there of differing rules and laws just because the people are different? Barring some youthful idealists who are so dissatisfied with the way things are that they find they must need express that dissatisfaction on a large scale, our country has suffered an increase in voter apathy for decades. No one is willing to participate in governing themselves, or perhaps they believe it is futile to try. However, our Baby Booming elect are slipping into the denouement of their generation, and corporations are eager to pad the pockets of the forth-coming politico. Should the focus falls back to the state level, we might escape the worst of “modernization”. It might be that a “Mr. Potter” might arise out of the local rich, such as the one Jimmy Stewart flailed against in “It's a Wonderful Life”, but civic involvement can waylay that. </p><p>As a stop on the busy I-40, my hometown is already hurting for the stimulus large towns believe famous names will bring to them. The cities of Northwest Arkansas have been feeling the same desperation in recent months, angling to find any company they believe will draw in consumers to spend their sales tax pennies there. Instead, let citizens be important in the law, and also let states as well. Let Little Rock stir the imagination just as much as Washington D.C. </p><p>If one's town is unique, the once-extinct breed called citizen will arise out of the primordial ooze, beat his chest and say “I am the law”, and he will be the law, not the black suits with the briefcases full of Benjamin Franklin.</p><p>The journey across state lines will then be more akin to voyaging abroad, and the citizen at home will only have to worry about two or three states that he might live near, instead of all 50.</p></div></div>

Kirobaito
03-13-2008, 09:02 AM
I'm not sure what your prompt is, but I think a better introduction would help.

I'd be wary about making the claim that voter turnout has decreased in the recent decades - by mere percentages it HAS, but 18-20 year olds got the right to vote in the early 70's, and after that dropped it enormously, and it's stayed consistent since then. Going by merely presidential elections, which is what most people vote on, we were in the low-60's in '60, '64, and '68. The '72 election between Nixon and McGovern featured 55%, approximately. The '04 election had 56%. And most people expect this election to feature an enormous voter turnout, maybe even 60%.

rubah
03-13-2008, 02:39 PM
the prompt is what our political ideology is and what we think the role citizens should play in government.

I don't have room for an introduction. The limit is 600 words and that's like 598, but I might revise that statement about the vote.

[addendum-well, the statistics in my book show that it's still nowhere near the levels of the mid 1880s, but it stops at 2004 :] but I don't feel like doing research on it xD]

Raistlin
03-13-2008, 08:18 PM
I don't understand how your first paragraph suits the rest of the essay.

First paragraph: about government intervention into local/state authority - people ceding authority to the federal government.

Rest of the essay: mostly about mass commercialization making every place similar - people ceding authority to corporations.

Looking at your prompt you posted, I would say the first paragraph is more on point. So my suggestion is to relate the rest of the essay more to that, using more appropriate examples than name-brands and what towns look like.

EDIT: also, if you're not a registered Libertarian, I would suggest using small-l "libertarian" instead, to distinguish ideology from party, though admittedly the two are more similar than "republican" and "Republican," for example. But that's just me being picky. :p

Kirobaito
03-13-2008, 08:52 PM
the prompt is what our political ideology is and what we think the role citizens should play in government.

I don't have room for an introduction. The limit is 600 words and that's like 598, but I might revise that statement about the vote.

[addendum-well, the statistics in my book show that it's still nowhere near the levels of the mid 1880s, but it stops at 2004 :] but I don't feel like doing research on it xD]
Then say 'over the last century' instead of over the recent decades, because the recent decades have basically been the same.

rubah
03-25-2008, 10:51 PM
25/25

Flying Mullet
03-25-2008, 10:52 PM
:thumb: