Math Humor!

[Jessweeee♪]

I want to see some cheesy math humor here!


<img src="http://halshop.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/phpw9jvl0pm.jpg" alt="EEEEEK" />

[Aerith's Knight]

lawl i actually laughed.

you want physics humor? :p

Two atoms sit in a bar.

atom1: are you sure you dont want another beer?
atom2: Im positive.

[Jessweeee♪]

Haw haw haw! :laugh:

[blackmage_nuke]

i says to pi "Be rational"
Pi says to i "get real"

Why did the mathemetician become a preist,
He was given a sine

Why dont asymptotes get pulled over?
They dont go over the limit

Why dont pessimists get laid?
You cant root something thats negative

I have hundreds of these but i cant remember them at the moment

edit: A number that always turns greater than or equal to zero walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender says "are you sure?" and he says "absolutely!"

A mathemetician was asked the most significant memory he had and he says
"When i learnt to difrentiate it was a real turning point in my life"

I made a most of these up myself

[Aerith's Knight]

This is the biggest physics joke i could find..

total physics fail!

http://img34.picoodle.com/img/img34/4/4/9/f_cnnsucksm_ab98217.jpg (http://www.picoodle.com/view.php?img=/4/4/9/f_cnnsucksm_ab98217.jpg&srv=img34)

thats mighty fast.. i get why it crashed now.

[o_O]

Why do mathematicians have trouble telling the difference between Christmas and Halloween?

Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.

[blackmage_nuke]

Why do mathematicians have trouble telling the difference between Christmas and Halloween?

Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.

OMG!! Everytime i hear this one the coincidence cotinues to amaze me

[Vivisteiner]

^I dont get it. :(


i says to pi "Be rational"
Pi says to i "get real"
lmao


Did you hear the amazing mathematician who solved this:

n^2 = nsinx

n = sinx

sinx = six
n

[Flying Mullet]

^I dont get it. :(
Open up the calculator on your computer in scientific mode, punch in 25, then click the "Oct" radio button.
Christmas equals Halloween
25th December = 31st October
25 Dec = 31 Oct
25 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decimal">Decimal</a> = 31 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octal">Octal</a>


My favorite is the proof that girls are evil:
http://media.funlol.com/content/img/0435.jpg

[Jessweeee♪]

A number that always turns greater than or equal to zero walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender says "are you sure?" and he says "absolutely!"

Positive :confused:

[Aerith's Knight]

A number that always turns greater than or equal to zero walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender says "are you sure?" and he says "absolutely!"

Positive :confused:

An absolute number is root(x^2)

so its impossible for it to be negative

[Flying Mullet]

I saw Jessweeee♪'s response as a bad pun response.

[Aerith's Knight]

how should i know that :p.. i just take it as it comes :)

[Vivisteiner]

^I dont get it. :(
Open up the calculator on your computer in scientific mode, punch in 25, then click the "Oct" radio button.
Christmas equals Halloween
25th December = 31st October
25 Dec = 31 Oct



Oh, I see.

8x3 = 24

24 +1 = 25

I can do maths, me! :D



Oh and I remember the old chestnut about women being evil.

[rubah]

^I dont get it. :(


i says to pi "Be rational"
Pi says to i "get real"
lmao


Did you hear the amazing mathematician who solved this:

n^2 = nsinx

n = sinx

sinx = six
n
I giggled at this because keeping variables and units separate has been a chore when studying for this physics test xD "Is that an A for amps or for area?! L for length or Inductance?! TAU FOR TORQUE OR FOR TIME CONSTANT??!?!!"

[Heath]

I love the Proof that Girls are Evil one that Mullet posted. I was going to post that one!

[Old Manus]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snapple.jpg

Can it be chemistry jokes tiem nao?

I only have a GCSE in chemistry so this is as far as I will understand. Physics represent!

[Vivisteiner]

Why do things have mass?

Because of Higgs boson.


What happens when you move one entangled photon?

Another one moves, even if its millions of miles away.

Whats the difference between matter and energy?

Nothing, tbh.

How much of a physicists brain is made of empty space?

Almost all of it.

Whats the fourth dimension?

Time

How many times does an electron spin round to reach its starting place?

Twice


....


Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!

[Heath]

I only have a GCSE in chemistry so this is as far as I will understand. Physics represent!

Nicked this one from the Internet. I've heard it before and was surprised to find it online.

A guy is given a question on a physics test:


"You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper?"

He answered: "Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down 'till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string".

The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:

"Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics ?"

"Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground......"

"Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again ?"

"Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top......"

"..another try ?...."

"Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shadow, measure the shadow of the skyscraper....."

"....and again ?...."

"walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells."

"...One more try ?"

"Find where the janitor lives, knock on his door and say 'Please, Mr Janitor, if I give you this nice Barometer, will you tell me the height of this building ?"

[BG-57]

My favorite math joke ever:


http://www.acceleratingfuture.com/people-blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/miracle.gif

I also once saw a T-shirt that read:

2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)

[rubah]

Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!

i was about to say xD

@BG-57; "miracle" describes a lot of what happens in calculus, imo :D

[Momiji]

Why do mathematicians have trouble telling the difference between Christmas and Halloween?

Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.
[/QUOTE]

As soon as I saw this thread, I remembered that joke since it used to be in your sig. :D

[Jessweeee♪]

I saw Jessweeee♪'s response as a bad pun response.

Thank you for capitalizing the J, putting exactly two Ss and four Es, and including the note!

No one's done that in awhile ;_;!

[Aerith's Knight]

I have no idea how to put in the note.. so youll have to excuse me.

and you guys say AK anyway.

[blackmage_nuke]

My favorite is the proof that girls are evil:
http://media.funlol.com/content/img/0435.jpg
As someone else (probably on this forum) has commented. If its time and money shouldnt it be time + money?:D

Edit: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blownapart_color.jpg

[Jessweeee♪]

I have no idea how to put in the note.. so youll have to excuse me.

and you guys say AK anyway.

Aw it's fine. I'm just sad that it says Baby Jasweeee by my Wii friend code D:

[Vivisteiner]

As someone else (probably on this forum) has commented. If its time and money shouldnt it be time + money?:D

Its maths. And we all know mathematicians just do what they damn well please so that they get the answer they feel like seeing.


http://www.martinhwatson.co.uk/expand_maths_joke.gif

[Flying Mullet]

http://beconfused.com/images/2007/04/Homework-Find-x-Here-it-is.gif

[Aerith's Knight]

Why do things have mass?

Because of Higgs boson.


What happens when you move one entangled photon?

Another one moves, even if its millions of miles away.

Whats the difference between matter and energy?

Nothing, tbh.

How much of Vivisteiner's brain is made of empty space?

Almost all of it.

Whats the fourth dimension?

Time

How many times does an electron spin round to reach its starting place?

Twice


....


Wait a sec, these arent jokes. They're true!

[Vivisteiner]

^That wasnt funny. It's true.

If you're so clever, care to tell me why?

And if you're even cleverer, explain the answer to my last question.

[blackmage_nuke]

Why does 4 move less than H?

Because 4 is number!!!!

Physics one:
The speed of light is sitting at the end of a bar and a guy walks in and asks the bartender
"is he always here?"
and the bartended says
"constantly!"

[PuPu]

I've seen a t-shirt that said "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions" before. That's about it.

[blackmage_nuke]

Some people learn binary because they have to, other people just learn it for the 5's

[Vivisteiner]

What's the only thing that's bigger upside down?


The number 6.

[Arc_Master_14]

Haha i saw this wasnt on here sooo "why was Six afraid of Seven?" "Because Seven ate nine!"

[ljkkjlcm9]

There are only 3 types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't

1/3 = 0.33333333333333 etc
1/3+1/3+1/3 = 3/3 = 1
0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333 = .99999999999999 etc = 1

THE JACKEL

[Raistlin]

1/3 = 0.33333333333333 etc
1/3+1/3+1/3 = 3/3 = 1
0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333 = .99999999999999 etc = 1

Not exactly funny if it's true.

[ljkkjlcm9]

1/3 = 0.33333333333333 etc
1/3+1/3+1/3 = 3/3 = 1
0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333+0.33333333333333 = .99999999999999 etc = 1

Not exactly funny if it's true.

everyone was posting things that were true, figured I'd add one.

THE JACKEL

[Vivisteiner]

Haha i saw this wasnt on here sooo "why was Six afraid of Seven?" "Because Seven eight nine!"
There. I like that joke - but you typed it wrong.

[Arc_Master_14]

Haha i saw this wasnt on here sooo "why was Six afraid of Seven?" "Because Seven eight nine!"
There. I like that joke - but you typed it wrong.
i meant to put it that way because its supposed to sound as ate but be eight

[Vivisteiner]

^Naw, I disagree. I think you should write it my way.

Its a very serious issue and one that should be dealt with sensitively and promptly.

[Heath]

When finding the barometer joke, I found these gems:

Heisenberg was never sure whether or not he did it.
Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
Quantum theorists do it in tiny tiny pieces.
Quantum theorists do it uncertainly.
Spectroscopists do it until it hertz.
Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.