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fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 05:12 AM
The last thing I want to do is frighten any of our forumers, but recent transmissions from the perimeter lead me to believe the worst.

There may be a Chupacabra in our midst.

I don't want any of you to panic. Panic is the last thing we need to be doing right now. The last thing any of you should think about doing at this moment in time is panicking. Chupacabras prefer their traditional holiday meal of goats, sheep, and thirty-two turkeys; rarely do they seek human flesh for consumption.

But one can never be too sure. Once the Chupacabra has sated itself on Shiny's goat farm and sucked the blood from all of our chickens, it may turn on us. We have to be prepared for the worst.

What follows is a comprehensive guide to besting and surviving a Chupacabra attack. This method has been proven effective several times by the Arnez Goat Militia of Montreal. They've never lost a teammate.

STEP 1: Spread a small circle of tarragon around your immediate area. Chupacabra's hate tarragon and other subtle, delicious spices. ONLY USE FRENCH TARRAGON. I cannot stress this enough people. The weak flavor of the Russian substitute tarragon will only incense any nearby Chupacabra.

STEP 2: Locate A Flock of Seagulls and force them to perform their signatory hit "I Ran" backwards, three times. The ensuing song is the closest we can recreate to the ancient chant that destroyed Chupacabras. Now we can only give them a mild headache, but it's enough to make them take a nap.

STEP 3: Get a sifter. A big one. You'll know what to do when the time comes.

STEP 4: Do not attempt to engage the Chupacabra in hand to hand combat. The Chupacabra will win. Instead, challenge him to a Pants Off Dance Off. Chupacabra's tend to have very poor self-esteem. Once forced to remove his clothes, he will have to go home and write about it in his Livejournal.

STEP 5: If none of the above steps fend off the Chupacabra, just use a gun. BUT ONLY IF.

Do not engage multiple Chupacabra at once. They are better group dancers than they are one on one.

Here is an artist's rendering of a Chupacabra. "Madeline" is a Chupacabra survivor and a Chupacabra hunter with over 60 bags to date.

http://www.alienvideo.net/images/articles/06-12/chupacabra.gif

CHUPACABRA FACTS
- Chupacabra's can swim, but only the dog paddle. Advanced swimmers should easily avoid any water-bourne Chupacabra's.

- Chupacabra means goat sucker. Do you have any idea how bad ass that is?

- Chupacabras are allergic to Liza Minelli.

- Chupacabras have, to date, been seen in Puerto Rico, Mexico, Maine and Russia. Most recently, a Chupacabra has been seen within the Eyes on Final Fantasy Compound.

- Chupacabra's arms appear to be vestigial. DON'T BE FOOLED.

I know this is a harrowing time for all of us, but if we stay in tight groups and protect our livestock, we should come through this just fine.

Dolentrean
04-10-2008, 05:17 AM
... Well I guess I should go get my, *gulp* my sifter... I'm sure we will all be O..

EVERYBODY PANIC!

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 05:17 AM
in be4 close :)

thank god i have a Liza minelli stashed somewhere :p

so which girls want to huddle with me? :D

*total silence*

.. of course -_-

ps. auditive holes are basically ears -_-'.. and only 5 feet tall? What are you worrying about.

Del Murder
04-10-2008, 05:19 AM
Just get Han to rub him behind his ears. That usually calms him down.

Jessweeee♪
04-10-2008, 05:22 AM
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M SCAAAARED ;_;!!!!


:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :cry: :kaocry2:

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 05:23 AM
dont worry, I'll protect you *puffs up chest*

NeoCracker
04-10-2008, 05:26 AM
Wait, when did EoFF get it's own Compound? :confused:

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 05:35 AM
Wait, when did EoFF get it's own Compound? :confused:

around the time we got the office building in downtown LA

XxSephirothxX
04-10-2008, 05:36 AM
Wait, when did EoFF get it's own Compound? :confused:
When we started worrying about the mothersmurfing chupacabras.

Dolentrean
04-10-2008, 05:39 AM
When we started worrying about the mothersmurfing chupacabras.

It was for the best :up:

NeoCracker
04-10-2008, 05:47 AM
Wait, why would we make a compound to gather everyone together where the Chupacabras could get us if we were worried about them?

Doesn't seem like a very bright move.

fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 05:50 AM
SIR.

The Eyes on Final Fantasy Chupacabra Removal Task Force does not appreciate your attitude. If you want to survive this harrowing time in our lives, I recommend you cease and desist all negative talk about the Eyes on Final Fantasy Anti-Chupacabra Compound.

THANK YOU.

Shlup
04-10-2008, 05:51 AM
Dude, foa, I really don't appreciate you calling out on my mom like that. I just wanted her to see my internet hangouts.

fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 05:54 AM
MA'AM

I understand that humor is a natural response to intense situations; and I appreciate your position. However, this is not a joking matter. Please keep your tiny, spiny mother in her special backpack or else she may end up covered in tarragon and embarrassed from her lack of dance skills.

THANK YOU.

KentaRawr!
04-10-2008, 05:55 AM
Wait, Professor Plum's Mom? I could have sworn it was my pet Platypus. Eh, but I guess there's really no difference, is there?

Marshall Banana
04-10-2008, 05:57 AM
Can a Chupacabra disguise itself as an active member of EoFF?

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 05:59 AM
this is getting too weird.. is this another CK challenge thing?

well, if you cant beat them..

OMG! I was taken aboard their spaceship!.. they did experiments on me! *wimpers* :(

NeoCracker
04-10-2008, 06:02 AM
Wow foa, way to be considerate of this poor girls mother.

Do you realize the Trama you've caused her entire family by doing this? I mean creating an anti-shlups mom facility? Thats just heartless.

Don't worry Shlup, unlike the rest of these Ninny's I don't want to exclude your mother from anything or make her feel unwelcome.

fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 06:05 AM
TO: MARSHALL BANANA
RE: Hidden Chupacabra

At this point the Eyes on Final Fantasy Chupacabra Task Force has no information indicating that a Chupacabra has taken on the disguise of a member of the forum or a Compound Dweller.

Chupacabra are wily creatures. I would not put disguise past their abilities, especially if it involved the violent removal of a human hide. This is why we must remain vigilant! If any of your friends exhibit suspicious, Chupacabra-esque activity please notify a member of the Task Force immediately.

TO: AERITH'S KNIGHT
RE: Spaceship

Chupacabra are not aliens, they are native to our planet. If I were you, I would see help at ABDUCTEE ANONYMOUS.

TO: NEOCRACKER
RE: Shlup's Mother

ShlupQuack's mother is NOT a Chupacabra. She's just very unlucky.

KentaRawr!
04-10-2008, 06:06 AM
Wow foa, way to be considerate of this poor girls mother.

Do you realize the Trama you've caused her entire family by doing this? I mean creating an anti-shlups mom facility? Thats just heartless.

Don't worry Shlup, unlike the rest of these Ninny's I don't want to exclude your mother from anything or make her feel unwelcome.

For goodness sakes, it's my pet Platypus! :mad2:

Ramza Beoulve
04-10-2008, 06:06 AM
ù.ú* Now I remember why I avoid threads with spanish titles, specially with me being a mexican[/rant]

Mmmm, now can I scream and act like a maniac? CAN I!!??

fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 06:08 AM
Mr. Beoulve, you could be of great help to the Task Force. Do you have any previous experience with the Chupacabra?

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 06:08 AM
then who did abduct me? :eek:

lol this is getting ridiculous

Ramza Beoulve
04-10-2008, 06:09 AM
Mr. Beoulve, you could be of great help to the Task Force. Do you have any previous experience with the Chupacabra?
A lot, actually :tongue:.

KentaRawr!
04-10-2008, 06:14 AM
No, Ramza. You must forget, you lost the case where I sued you for smacking my pet platypus.

By the way, does anyone know when a Platypus's bill is supposed to fill in? Ol' Platty's never came in, but he sure did learn how to walk well! And he got some big eyes, too!

Ramza Beoulve
04-10-2008, 06:18 AM
No, Ramza. You must forget, you lost the case where I sued you for smacking my pet platypus.I'm innocent! I just kicked it, like... five times :shifty:

KentaRawr!
04-10-2008, 06:21 AM
No, Ramza. You must forget, you lost the case where I sued you for smacking my pet platypus.I'm innocent! I just kicked it, like... five times :shifty:

And now I'm $500 richer due to never having any of that silly vet stuff done. :p

fire_of_avalon
04-10-2008, 06:21 AM
THERE ARE NO PLATYPI HERE.

Our research team uncovered this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Vvo2qRaVHU) of Chupacabra. This footage is not for children.

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 06:26 AM
THERE ARE NO PLATYPI HERE.

Our research team uncovered this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Vvo2qRaVHU) of Chupacabra. This footage is not for children.

*clicks link and watches Lord of the strings*

FoA.. didnt know you had it in ya :p .. tisk tisk.. and a CK as well :D

Ramza Beoulve
04-10-2008, 06:27 AM
THERE ARE NO PLATYPI HERE.

Our research team uncovered this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Vvo2qRaVHU) of Chupacabra. This footage is not for children.
I remember that video, I saw it on TV a year ago. That kind of videos are really common here. :screwy::eyebrow:

Dolentrean
04-10-2008, 06:27 AM
Alright, I finally got my composure... I have my shotguns, my textbooks, and a six pack, I am ready now!

Blue Harvest
04-10-2008, 09:41 AM
then who did abduct me? :eek:


*Whistles*

Jojee
04-10-2008, 09:59 AM
Hahaha, it's LA chupacabra!

When I played Ragnarok Online, some friends and I made a guild called El ChupacaBRa to make fun of all the Brazilians playing who kept adding BR after their name and guild names (Yes I know it's Spanish) xD Then we went around shouting nonsensical Spanish & Portuguese words. xD

Chupacabras are scary!

oddler
04-10-2008, 10:12 AM
You don't mess around with folk legends with mange, boy. Ya heard me.

41-Inches-Wide
04-10-2008, 11:29 AM
Can a Chupacabra disguise itself as an active member of EoFF?

I KNOW WHO YOU'RE REFERRING TO LAMONDA OHOHO YOU MONSTER! :kaoclove: (Cause I was actually wondering that myself)

Momiji
04-10-2008, 01:46 PM
*strikes a dramatic pose*

AND THUS, THE CHUPACABRA SLAYERS FORMED~

*puts on a Liza Minelli costume and brandishes a shotgun, flamethrower, and a feather duster*

Those are just for show, props for the pants off dance off. My song? 'I Ran' by A Flock of Seagulls. Three times.

*goes to look for a sifter and some tarragon*

WHO IS WITH ME?! :D

The Summoner of Leviathan
04-10-2008, 01:48 PM
Leviathan will protect me! This is why it is good to have your own mythical beast at your beck and call. Plus it is fun to scare the neighbours with.

Momiji
04-10-2008, 01:52 PM
Leviathan will protect me! This is why it is good to have your own mythical beast at your beck and call. Plus it is fun to scare the neighbours with.

Can Leviathan sing Flock of Seagulls songs, produce tarragon, strip while dancing, and use a sifter?

I'm afraid that will do no good. :(

The Summoner of Leviathan
04-10-2008, 03:43 PM
Leviathan will protect me! This is why it is good to have your own mythical beast at your beck and call. Plus it is fun to scare the neighbours with.

Can Leviathan sing Flock of Seagulls songs, produce tarragon, strip while dancing, and use a sifter?

I'm afraid that will do no good. :(

He may not be able to do that but I think he makes up for the fact that the seas move to his whim. There is also the fact that Leviathan is so big that he could eat the Chupacabra.

qwertysaur
04-10-2008, 03:44 PM
Leviathan will protect me! This is why it is good to have your own mythical beast at your beck and call. Plus it is fun to scare the neighbours with.

Can Leviathan sing Flock of Seagulls songs, produce tarragon, strip while dancing, and use a sifter?

I'm afraid that will do no good. :(

He may not be able to do that but I think he makes up for the fact that the seas move to his whim. There is also the fact that Leviathan is so big that he could eat the Chupacabra.
Yummy. :p

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 03:47 PM
then who did abduct me? :eek:


*Whistles*

*smacks BH with Liza Minelli*

Rantz
04-10-2008, 05:10 PM
Chupacabra are wily creatures. I would not put disguise past their abilities, especially if it involved the violent removal of a human hide. This is why we must remain vigilant! If any of your friends exhibit suspicious, Chupacabra-esque activity please notify a member of the Task Force immediately.

This is an excerpt of one of my recent chat logs with oddler:

Rantzien says: hey oddler what's up?
oddler says: mmMY spinal spIKES lol
Rantzien says: huh?
oddler says: uhh, sorry. I meant my penis.
Rantzien says: are you alright?
Rantzien says: you seem weird
oddler says: I, uhm, just hungry I guess
Rantzien says: yeah, me too. I'm gonna go eat some lamb chops, cya!
oddler says: !
Rantzien says: what?
oddler says: nom nOM nom I liEK GOATS! mmm!
Rantzien says: uh, see you later.
oddler says: mmMM, gAOt blOODD!!

Aerith's Knight
04-10-2008, 05:32 PM
high, drunk or off his medication..

oddler
04-10-2008, 07:28 PM
I feel violated and, now, hungry.

rubah
04-10-2008, 10:34 PM
*cackles and sucks on a goat*

Agrias
04-10-2008, 10:50 PM
I'm greek, i HAVE to eat goats :S

Old Manus
04-10-2008, 11:34 PM
I think you're lying foa

Jessweeee♪
04-10-2008, 11:56 PM
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
:kaocry: :kaocry2: :crying: :crying: :crying2: :kaodizzy: :bounce:

WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO? RUN IN CIRCLES! RUN IN CIRCLES!

Aerith's Knight
04-11-2008, 01:08 AM
*puts chloroform to Jessweee's face*

...

*silence*

thats better :)

Jessweeee♪
04-11-2008, 01:10 AM
:kaosleep:

Marshall Banana
04-11-2008, 01:41 AM
Maybe big, bold text that spells "Chupacabra" should be placed under the user name of any member suspected of being or hiding a Chupacabra, so we know of who to steer clear.

The Summoner of Leviathan
04-11-2008, 01:45 AM
*cackles and sucks on a goat*


Maybe big, bold text that spells "Chupacabra" should be placed under the user name of any member suspected of being or hiding a Chupacabra, so we know of who to steer clear.

GET RUBAH!

rubah
04-11-2008, 03:25 AM
*snorts and headbutts TSOL*

KentaRawr!
04-11-2008, 03:29 AM
<del>No, Rubah! Sit! Bad Platypus!</del>

Wait, no, Rubah's a goat, not a Chupacabra.

rubah
04-11-2008, 03:36 AM
you make it seem like I don't know the difference ;.;

The Summoner of Leviathan
04-11-2008, 03:43 AM
Rubah is officially a suspect. She attacked me. Also Kentarou is suspicious because what kind of goat sucks on another goat. Maybe he is working with rubah...OUR GOATS ARE NOT SAFE!

##vote: Rubah Lapah

Jessweeee♪
04-11-2008, 03:45 AM
OMGUVOTEDFURST

##Vote: The Summoner of Leviathan

Araciel
04-11-2008, 03:51 AM
I had a chupacabra once. It was delicious.

Aerith's Knight
04-11-2008, 03:59 AM
what did it taste like?

rubah
04-11-2008, 04:06 AM
I had a chupacabra once. It was delicious.
Hello, my name is Alliego Montoya, you ate my father. Prepare to die.