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Spawn of Sephiroth
04-17-2008, 04:58 PM
Ok, a friend told me this so I figuered that I'd put this up just for the sake of good conversation. You may have heard it before, but lets talk.

"If someone has multiple personalities and they threaten to kill theirself, do you have a hostage situation?"

and.....

"If they did go through with it, is it considered a suicide or murder?"

Have some fun.

Peegee
04-17-2008, 04:59 PM
xDD

Fireproof matches

Powdered water. Just add water.

And solar powered flashlights

Spawn of Sephiroth
04-17-2008, 05:01 PM
xDD

Fireproof matches

Powdered water. Just add water.

And solar powered flashlights

Yea, go with solar power. Maybe a magnifing glass too. Burn little ant people.

Rantz
04-17-2008, 05:14 PM
Crazythoughts.com - Life's Unanswered Questions (http://www.crazythoughts.com/)

rubah
04-17-2008, 05:51 PM
Powdered water. Just add water.

Man that stuff is the best. I use it every day.

I wouldn't mind a wireless extension cord :(

Breine
04-17-2008, 06:17 PM
Crazythoughts.com - Life's Unanswered Questions (http://www.crazythoughts.com/)

Some of those were actually pretty good :)

Bart's Friend Milhouse
04-17-2008, 06:20 PM
"If someone has multiple personalities and they threaten to kill theirself, do you have a hostage situation?"


No, you have a crazy person

The Ceej
04-17-2008, 08:57 PM
Why does sour cream have an expiration date? What's it going to do? Get fresh?

If a cannibal is eating a clown, does it taste funny?

If you drag a zebra across a price scanner, what happens?

Why does a baseball manager wear a uniform? What's the chance he's going to get in the game?

Why do we never use the word, "cranny" all by itself? We always have to use the word, "nook" with it."

If you're making sponge cake and you spill the batter, does it wipe itself up?

Is it dangerous for a person with a glass eye to attend the opera?

If a person with bad eyesight is watching the TV show, 20/20, what happens?

If a moose sees another moose, does he think, "Look at the rack on that"?

Can stupid people become dumbfounded?

If a person has phone sex with men and women, are they bilingual?

If you get mono twice, do they call it stereo?

If a Cyclops goes to Lenscrafters, does he get glasses in half an hour?

When plumbers sleep, do they have pipe dreams?

Why is it when sheep get wet, they don't shrink?

If a woman is very cranky very early in the morning, does she have AMS?

Why is there still milk in a can of evaporated milk?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out of its nose?

Is it possible to fly Virgin Airlines more than once?

If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does it stick to the pan? If Super Glue sticks to everything, how does it come out of the tube? But what I really want to know is, if you put Super Glue on Teflon, who wins?

cloud21zidane16
04-17-2008, 09:41 PM
They were good!:p

Carl the Llama
04-17-2008, 10:22 PM
Has anyone every bought a full price sofa?

Huckleberry Quin
04-17-2008, 10:30 PM
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why is it that we figured out that wheels on suitcases would be a good idea after having made it to the moon?

Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?

If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Croyles
04-18-2008, 03:41 AM
If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?

That one is pretty stupid. Obviously didnt pay attention in class...

ljkkjlcm9
04-18-2008, 03:59 AM
The fireproof match, solarpowered flashlight are in a polish joke I know

"Do you know what the three greatest polish inventions are?"
Fire-proof match
Solar powered Flashlight
and Screen door for a submarine.

"Hey did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? Yeah the pilot was cold so he turned off the fan."

"What do you do if a polish guy throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back."

"What do you do if a polish guy throws a pin at you?
Run because he probably has a grenade in his mouth"

"How do you stop a polish tank?
Shoot the men pushing it."

"How do you stop the polish cavalry?
Unplug the merry go round."


I think that's enough for now, but being polish I know tons of great polish jokes

oh and I'll just throw in something I never understood

"Beg to differ"
Why do people beg? If someone begs to differ with me, can I refuse to let them?

THE JACKEL

fire_of_avalon
04-18-2008, 04:14 AM
I'm banning ALL of you.

blackmage_nuke
04-18-2008, 04:20 AM
If a pondering is extremely idiotic does it annoy you as much as it does me?

If a pondering doesnt require pondering due to its idiocy would it still be considered a pondering?

Psychotic
04-18-2008, 04:23 AM
"If someone has multiple personalities and they threaten to kill theirself, do you have a hostage situation?"No. Multiple personality disorder is a global conspiracy invented by drug companies and psychiatrists.
"If they did go through with it, is it considered a suicide or murder?"It's considered a tragedy. Show some respect, you insensitive jerk.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date? What's it going to do? Get fresh?Because it's a legal requirement. It's going to taste like crap, which won't make much of a difference.
If a cannibal is eating a clown, does it taste funny?Why does it have to be a cannibal? Why can't it be a lion or a leopard or a dinosaur or maybe even a giant metal robot death thing? And no, it would just taste of paint. I like to drink paint but only when it has lead in it.
If you drag a zebra across a price scanner, what happens?The zebra would probably start bellowing at you, and you'd probably break your back because they're heavy. Have you guys ever seen zebras at the zoo? Man, those things stink! Why would you even want to go near one of those disgusting beasts?
Why does a baseball manager wear a uniform? What's the chance he's going to get in the game?Maybe he just doesn't want to feel left out. There's no shame in following peer pressure. Cut the poor guy some slack.
Why do we never use the word, "cranny" all by itself? We always have to use the word, "nook" with it."Whoa there, hold your horses. Who is this "we"? I use cranny all the time. "I pulled off this sick trick on my BMX, it was totally cranny." "Yeah my girlfriend's cranny was filled with jam and treacle." "My cranny is 86 years old." Maybe you should check your facts before posting a light-hearted statement in an unserious thread on a Final Fantasy forum.
If you're making sponge cake and you spill the batter, does it wipe itself up?No. It only becomes a sponge once the appropriate level of heating has been applied, and then there is no goo to be wiped up. A crying shame.
Is it dangerous for a person with a glass eye to attend the opera?The biggest danger for them is being called a pretentious prick.
If a person with bad eyesight is watching the TV show, 20/20, what happens?They squint.
If a moose sees another moose, does he think, "Look at the rack on that"?No, he probably thinks "HOOOOONK! HOOOOOOONK HONK HOOOOOOONK! HOOOOOOOOONK"
Can stupid people become dumbfounded?HELLZ YEAH!
If a person has phone sex with men and women, are they bilingual?No, they're someone I would mock heartily on this internet treasure trove that I call EoFF. lol phone sex.
If you get mono twice, do they call it stereo?They call it a crappy immune system.
If a Cyclops goes to Lenscrafters, does he get glasses in half an hour?No, the staff there will be swiftly devoured, and doomed to spend an eternity within his hairy belly.
When plumbers sleep, do they have pipe dreams?No, they probably dream about goombas. I mean, wouldn't you if a dozen of them had tried to ram your legs?
Why is it when sheep get wet, they don't shrink? I could make an easy joke about Welsh people and bodily fluids and whatnot but I don't want Old Manus to call me gay. Not again.
If a woman is very cranky very early in the morning, does she have AMS?I like the use of two verys in this sentence. It really potrays the gravity of the situation. And who cares if she's cranky, just headbutt her or put her in a headlock or something. That'll settle her down real nice like.
Why is there still milk in a can of evaporated milk?Just because it's evaporated that doesn't mean the milk simply stops existing and magically leaves the can.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?Do vegetarians still give head?
If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out of its nose?When you're milking a cow you're basically just playing with its tits, you sick bestial mo'fo's. Also, I like to think that I would be responsible enough to wait until the cow had finished drinking before telling it a joke.
Is it possible to fly Virgin Airlines more than once?Depends on if you are a member of the mile high club.
If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does it stick to the pan? If Super Glue sticks to everything, how does it come out of the tube? But what I really want to know is, if you put Super Glue on Teflon, who wins?Magic; Sorcery; SCIENCE WINS.
Has anyone every bought a full price sofa?No! Why would you buy one when you can find perfectly good ones (albeit covered with vomit/booze/fag stains/semen stains) in the front gardens of council houses?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Because they're like Levian/Rye/Jojo/insert popular and yet dimunutive EoFFer here. They just want to see the tops of people's heads and check for dandruff. And they'll be damned if they just ask them to bend over. Well. Maybe not Lev.
Why is it that we figured out that wheels on suitcases would be a good idea after having made it to the moon?Suitcases come from the Moon. That's how they were discovered. Did you ever see Men in Black? Velcro is an alien invention.
Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?Because it's less likely to get you lynch mobbed than saying "slept with a baby."
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?American Sign Language. ASL. I love it. I wonder how you sign the noise of a judge banging their gavel. I don't really care about the answer to this question; I feel I have already addressed all the most pressing concerns regarding this matter.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?So you can store things in those empty corners. Like horrible toppings (not pineapple. smurf off Jess pineapple on pizzas is brilliant.) that you don't want to eat.
If a pondering is extremely idiotic does it annoy you as much as it does me?Hecka naw, brah.

Roto13
04-18-2008, 04:27 AM
Hooray for racism!

Markus. D
04-18-2008, 04:39 AM
Has Cbc ever said something nice?

fire_of_avalon
04-18-2008, 05:00 AM
He's said some nice things to me before, but now he just threatens me.

Aerith's Knight
04-18-2008, 05:57 AM
seriously.. you cant break glas with a voice.. trust me.. i did an expiriment three times.. it had a generator that could set up to 0.01 Hz difference and i measured it all perfectly.. then i adjusted the frequency of a horn speaker and turned it up to 115 dB next to a perfect wineglass

it shook.. thats it.. no breaking.. you need at least 130 dB for it and there is no way a human voice will reach that without being put through a speaker.

Myth busted

escobert
04-18-2008, 06:43 AM
Has Cbc ever said something nice?

Maybe once.
02:59] Bert - you love to smell poo don't lie
[03:01] WildRaubtier - yes nothing else compares

Spawn of Sephiroth
04-18-2008, 03:54 PM
Damn Psychotic, I think I will come to you if I ever need an answer. Damn, how long did it take you to answer all of those? LOL. Damn man. Thats just too funny.

Markus. D
04-18-2008, 04:51 PM
Has Cbc ever said something nice?

Maybe once.
02:59] Bert - you love to smell poo don't lie
[03:01] WildRaubtier - yes nothing else compares

:p

Huckleberry Quin
04-18-2008, 07:45 PM
If everyone here hates Psychotic, why don't we just perma-ban him?

Mirage
04-18-2008, 08:26 PM
because that's fascistic.

rubah
04-18-2008, 09:47 PM
He's got too firm a hold on the eoff Staff.

scrumpleberry
04-18-2008, 11:27 PM
The pizza boxes are square because making circular ones would cost moar faff and effort.

Explain the point of "No offence, but..."

It never makes you feel any less offended. All it is in a gossip session is just falsely saying "I'm really a nice person and not inclined to be mean, but WTFKLJBLBSOUBOSB..."

Lawr
04-18-2008, 11:42 PM
One day Paulykins . . . one day . . . :shifty:

crono_logical
04-18-2008, 11:44 PM
I thought solar powered flashlights were real? :p Charge their batteries up at day, use at night :D

Dolentrean
04-18-2008, 11:51 PM
seriously.. you cant break glas with a voice.. trust me.. i did an expiriment three times..

I have seen it done, when I was in high school my physics teacher brought someone into the class to demonstrate that it is possible, just very rare to find someone who can.

Dr. Acula
04-19-2008, 09:05 AM
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Araciel
04-19-2008, 11:20 AM
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You'll be 75% closer to death :P