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Hazzard
05-11-2008, 07:14 PM
Hey guys, just wondering about something. Do you reckon this is worthy of an A*:

Star Wars: The Phenomenon

Star Wars’ success has spanned for many decades, establishing its landmark in 1977. It contained a variety of elements, which were never before combined in a single film, such as; Fairytale/Folk lure; Cold war, and Religion. In this essay I’m hoping to elaborate on the reasons why I chose those three theories, and explain the impact which emancipated from them. Star wars is mainly a film revolving around a young, hotshot hero named Luke Skywalker - from living day to day with the asperities of becoming a professional sky pilot, Luke hastily emerges into a trainee JEDI; serving the purpose to learn the true identity of his father, master the skills and endeavour the gruelling trials of a JEDI, and save the galaxy from the clutches of the evil Darth Vader. My aim is to prove why I think Star Wars deserves to be at cult status, and why it’s a popular blockbuster.

My first theory is Fairytale/Folk lure, because it contains traditional traits used in a fairytale; the battle between good and evil would resemble the clash between the rebels, and the sinister imperialistic empire, or Luke versus Darth Vader in a sense of the contrast between both personalities; one being calculating, manipulative, aggressive, and vindictive; the other being calm, kind, and heroic. A popular fairytale which also implements this aspect is Cinderella, because it depicts the evil stepmother as someone ruthless, insensitive and callous, in comparison this is similar to Darth Vader. The prince is dutiful, heart-warming and caring, this is also very similar to Luke Skywalker’s personality. Both of the heroes help, or should I say rescue the damsels in distress from the evil, malice characters.

Another overly used element is the hero’s quest to discovery, the journey which they embark on to develop into stronger willed characters; Luke Skywalker develops from a boy who becomes a man, securing his resolve after his family and home planet is destroyed by Darth Vader. He learns of the mythical force from Obi-Wan Kenobi, and thus decides to join the rebel campaign to wage war against the imperials and Vader. The Prince undergoes a similar experience, however, his mission was to put trust and hope into his conscience and find the beauty he wished to retrieve, he became wiser as he learned to be guided by his heart, but not always his mind.

Not only do characters grow stronger physically and mentally throughout a tale, but they sprout spiritually as a person. Luke grows to be stronger through learning to channel, and harness the force to his disposal. He is spiritually advised by his wise mentor, Obi-Wan and eventually uses the powerful force he wielded. This relates to when the Prince battles with his conscience to decide whether which one of the girls, the shoe he had in his hands belonged to, he remembers and tests Cinderella’s foot size to conclude his journey.

Other characters who play a part in both stories are closely related to each other, because the mice who prompt and aid Cinderella, are very similar to CP30, R2D2, Chewbacca and Han Solo, who all support the main protagonist throughout their quest. The Fairy Godmother contains personality traits comparable to Obi-Wan, as they both are wise, widely experienced and add something supernatural to the main character, either being the force or the use of magic. The evil stepmother is alike Darth Vader, both being cold, passive and filled with hatred. Cinderella is related to Princess Leia, in a sense that they both are held captive by the anti-protagonist, but are both wistfully swept off their feet or rescued by the heroes of the story.

Star Wars’ has become a film of cult status, and I agree with it, because it contains the key elements used in other folk lures and evidently melds all this into a completely original story, including: love; hate; anger; confusion; mystery and all the significant ingredients relevant to execute a great story. It also includes elements related to our modern world, linking the two, but also spices it up with a supernatural theme, mainly by introducing aliens and scientifically advanced technology like; battleships, lightsabers, and laser guns.

My second theory is the cold war, because Star Wars was intentionally related to the hostility and hatred, which was shared between America and Russia; this is in direct contrast to the rebel army, being similar to America, and Russia being paralleled to the Imperial empire. The Americans portrayed Russians to the public, as sinister cruel communists, a nation which wielded weapons of mass destruction; troops who were unheard, faceless soldiers, and a brutal empire ruthlessly controlled by a tyrannical dictator. The imperials were viewed as a deathly empire, led solely by the emperor, but ruled with an iron fist by the chaotically evil Darth Vader, who was tenacious and strongly determined to seek rule over the galaxy; they also had powerful weapons in their hands, such as the “Deathstar” which could annihilate a whole planet. Their soldiers were referred to as “Storm Troops” who enforced law and all wore a matching, custom white uniform, with helmets to obscure their faces. While on the other hand, the rebel army was perceived as an honourable, justifiable and honest band, who chose to oppress being seized and imprisoned by the empire, but to retain liberty and freedom.

This constitutes rather vaguely how the world was represented at that day in age, and how peoples opinions wavered from who actually held morals from who meant bad intent. George Lucas’ creation of the film could of depicted the imperialists as either America or Russia; the rebel army being alike the Russian communists, who strived for equality and everyone being at the same social standard - No dictators, no overpowered individuals, but a nation or galaxy in Star Wars’ case, where a person wouldn’t be stripped of their freedom. But his goal might have been an underlined subliminal message to the two super powers; a plea to resolve and ultimately end the hostile cold war.

The Lord of Rings tells of a similar story; the evil empire manifested with orcs and vile creatures was controlled by Saruman, who was being ordered by Sauron. This is comparable to the likes of Darth Vader only answering to the Emperor, and undergoing all the dirty work and his bidding. Saruman dictated his orcs on every action to wage, and every village to burn - The weapon or possession he craved for the most was the precious ring, and this is parallel to the Deathstar, both weapons holding immense power but both needed to be desperately destroyed, in order to keep humanity safe and of well being. The orcs were shaped and formed in exactly same way as one another, none looked different unless other races were created. This can be viewed as an aspect used to remind you of the faceless soldiers, Storm troops, in Star Wars. Saruman bullied other continents in the middle earth to the persuasion of Sauron, betraying his friend Gandalf, from when he was once a chivalrous ally, but become a sinister leader. This resembles the tale of Darth Vader, from when he was the loveable, young, Anakin Skywalker, a JEDI with high expectations, but unfortunately was tempted by the shady Emperor, laying forth his life to the dark side. As did Saruman when he was tempted by Sauron, and then joined the evil campaign.

I agree that Star Wars’ continuing cult status is related to the then occurring cold war, at the time, because it probably affected viewers to see how similar their reality was to a science fiction film; these similarities signalled out what might take place in the future, a possible World War III. When America won the war, there must have been a sense of relief, as such as when the rebel army accomplished their mission, and blew up the Deathstar in Star Wars.

My third, and last theory is Religion, because Luke is mainly on a spiritual quest to discovery, Obi-Wan being the religious, spiritual adviser and mentor of Luke on his journey. Darth Vader possessing traits similar to which of Satan, but a modified science-fiction version; he was once an angel of God, but was tempted and converted to the persuasion of darkness. The Force depicts power, it is almost like wielding godly powers, but the Force is strictly supposed to be used for good measures. The Force is like a mythological essence, in our present, real world, it can be comparable to the likes of God. Han Solo didn’t believe in such a thing at the beginning of the film, disregarding its existence and being in a state of confusion. This can be related to non-religious people who are unsure whether God is real or not, doubt is instantly wedged inside their minds.

Luke Skywalker held no knowledge and generally was a disbeliever of the Force, at first disputing its realism and assumed it was a myth. Once Obi-Wan begins to teach him how to wield the Force to his advantage, he gradually starts to believe it exists. Han Solo completely ignored the reasoning of the Force being present, but is left in a state of awe towards the end of the film, as he witnesses the usage of the Force with his very eyes. Obi-Wan is similar to a passionate devotee of God, he strongly believes in the Force, considering he had used it many occasions before hand, and was experienced with the skill. Throughout the story, he frequently attempts to convert Luke to the “Cause”. Princess Leia may or may not believe in the Force, it is unknown as she does not reveal her opinion of the matter during the film. However, she is probably open to various sorts of religions. Darth Vader can be viewed as a satanic figure, he apparently believes in the Force, but misuses it to intimidate, and ruthlessly rule over others to fit his desires.

I would identify with Obi-Wan Kenobi the most, because he has physically been touched by the Force, and wielded it. Alike Christian followers who claim they have came in contact or conversed with God. The Emperor could be linked to religion, because he was strongly fascinated and aroused by the power of the Force, craving for it to be at his disposal; this relates to fiercely devoted religious people, who spread propaganda that religion is power, power being the weapon to be wise, soulful, and at peace. I think the androids are to some extent in touch with the Force, because they witness it frequently and are wholly good, moralistic characters. The Lion King contains some religious content similar to Star Wars, because Simba is guided and advised by the spiritual force of his father, Mufasa. Scar is the malice, cunning uncle of the young Simba, who was once quite loyal, but seized power once he threw Mufasa off of a cliff. This can be related to when Darth Vader challenges Obi-Wan, and converts to the dark side.

Star Wars has ascended to cult status, and I agree with it, because it is melded and entwines some of the general publics beliefs, and touch on issues such as religion, and its very significance or essence that can effect a whole world/galaxy. This appeals to viewers, and is a major factor to Star Wars’ success in the film industry.

Over the decades, Star Wars has warmed the hearts of its many worldwide fans, rising to a peek unreachable for most films to aim for. Its merchandise, novels, prequels and sequels have been hugely successful over the years, and George Lucas has been regarded as a respectable icon as a film director/producer. I have proved and provided three main points why Star Wars is at cult status; religion, cold war and fairytale/folk lure are the elements which were entwined in the film, this was an imaginative attempt to muster an entirely different mixture of clichéd elements into one film - it amazed viewers and left them fascinated. Overall, I acknowledge Star Wars as a prime example for an excellent film, it was truly original and something unbelievable at the time. Many have copied some features used in Star Wars, and many have failed. It was the first of a list of great movies to come, and a fantastic film to watch, analyse and to describe.

Tavrobel
05-11-2008, 11:41 PM
It really depends. You're the one taking the class, so you have the best idea of whether or not you will receive a certain grade. If your teacher is just grading based on length and "I think you have knowledge, so this should be a valid essay," then by bother asking? Regardless, I shall throw in my two cents as to what I found wrong with your essay. They are, after all, arguments.

Three proofs, then something around six paragraphs + introduction and conclusion. Connect paragraphs and thoughts with words that do connect things. Firstly, secondly, lastly, furthermore, etc.

Moving on, you spelled lore wrong consistently. u --> o, and you should be fine. A few nitpicks involve your use of semi colons; avoid them unless you have two distinct clauses, or are separating things off in a group/list. finally, don't talk about what you intend on doing. Just do it. An example is littered in your first paragraph, where you keep saying that your aim is to prove the success of Star Wars. No. Don't do that. State your thesis, state your intended proofs, and get out. Personal opinions should never be stated, and should self evident by your proofs of whatever it is you are trying to prove. Things like "I agree," or "in my opinion" are death notes stranded on a ice pick'd guitar, with its AMP set on 11. Personal pronouns should be used sparingly, and I personally don't use them at all. Learn to eschew them, and you'll save a lot of time; the tones of essays should be disconnected and clear-sounding.

Example:

Star Wars’ success has spanned for many decades, establishing its landmark in 1977. It contained a variety of elements, which were never before combined in a single film, such as; Fairytale/Folk lure; Cold war, and Religion. In this essay I’m hoping to elaborate on the reasons why I chose those three theories, and explain the impact which emancipated from them. Star wars is mainly a film revolving around a young, hotshot hero named Luke Skywalker - from living day to day with the asperities of becoming a professional sky pilot, Luke hastily emerges into a trainee JEDI; serving the purpose to learn the true identity of his father, master the skills and endeavour the gruelling trials of a JEDI, and save the galaxy from the clutches of the evil Darth Vader. My aim is to prove why I think Star Wars deserves to be at cult status, and why it’s a popular blockbuster.

Lure --> Lore
Avoids pronouns until it has been established what you are using them for.
Bolded items are offenders; if I'm reading this, it is obvious that you're intending on showing me your opinion is apt or valid. You don't have to tell me that you think that you're right.

About the length of your essay, it seems quite long, even excessive at times. I don't know how long this should be, but if your teacher told you to catch the bus, you got there about an hour early. I took one look and died a little inside. You seem to go on a series of tangents, needless and don't add to your point at all. There was a whole paragraph on LotR; you know that your essay is about Star Wars, right? Don't mislead, if you want to reference something, make a note of it, and move on, because lingering on details is not conducive to writing. Focus on one character, not all of them. Luke is the hero, yes? Talk about him. If you want Han Solo as the hero, show how in your thinking he is the hero, then talk about him fulfilling the needs of the hero cycle.

Your Cold War argument is the least convincing. Based on what you have given me, I'm not at all sure that you actually know what the Cold War is. You have to at least explain to me what the Cold War is (should take half of a paragraph, at most), and then after that, you have to show how Star Wars is like the Cold War. I found this portion to be particularly weak, even if I had given you the benefit of not knowing what the Cold War was really about. I would highly suggest that you use something else. Based on this section alone, I would've not given you anything close to an A. Assume nothing; explain everything. Yet, you've got to find a balance between length and explanation. I would imagine you need to shorten this by far.

I fail to see how Russia and the States fighting in a quest for global dominance to be comparable to a small rebel group that is fighting against a galactic hegemony. In the case of the Cold War, Russia and the States were both superpowers with satellite nations, and of near equal strength, teetering on a precarious balance before the storm. The rebellion in Star Wars may have been large and an alliance, it was very clear that they were fighting an uphill battle, and the Empire was in total control, stepping on bugs as necessary when they felt slightly threatened. That's just the basics of the Cold War. I haven't even gotten to the nuances. You could compare the Arms Race during the Cold War as your argument to the need of the Empire to create the Death Star, not once, but twice. It would make your life easier, as well as focus on more tangible things, but I have been given no indication of this in your essay, and the argument is in shambles. But you don't HAVE to listen to me. Your hero cycle and religion arguments could have been done better, but I don't see any substantive miscues as I did with the Cold War.

Finally, your last paragraph, the conclusion, should contain no new information, and wraps up the arguments used. Finally, do not use how this post is set up as a rubric on how to write your essay. I've violated the rules, like a hundred times.

Momiji
05-12-2008, 01:56 PM
Wow, Tav hit the nail on the head. After that, I can't find anything else to correct. :p

Arc_Master_14
05-13-2008, 12:42 AM
The Lord of the Rings
that is all I could find that I didn't notice tav say any thing about