Least weird way of getting a date with someone?

[Cyric]

OK, so I didn't feel being overly specific in the title, but this is actually about somebody I've known since High School. Her name's Christine, and I recently found out that she's still living at home down the street from me. I find her VERY attractive. She's basically your ideal girl-next-door (although she's half-the-street away), and brunette (one of my weaknesses) to top it off. The problem I have, is that I would be interested in taking her out one night but we hardly EVER run into each other. The first time we bumped into each other was at a sub-shop in town, she was on her way to work so we couldn't really have a decent convo. Then last week, I saw her at the visitation of a neighbour of mine who was killed in a head-on collision in September. She ended up leaving before I could find a way to "bump into" her again.

No, this isn't a crush I've had since High School, infact it's not a crush at all. I just remember the kind of person she was (very level-headed), which closely resembles the kind of GF I'd like to have eventually. The date is just to see if she's the same but matured, or if she's had a complete attitude make-over. The only two options I can think of, for deliberately getting in touch with her again, is by looking her up in the phonebook, or going down to knock on her door. I really don't have anything riding on this, so if the advice is just to see if we have another chance meeting, I'm alright with it. I'm in no rush to enter a relationship, but I'm always open to see if anything's possible.

Anyways, what do you think I should do?

[Denmark]

Least weird way to get a date with someone: JUST FUCKING ASK THEM

[Momiji]

Least weird way to get a date with someone: JUST smurfING ASK THEM

Seriously.

[Tavrobel]

ASK THEM

[Rye]

If she's the girl you describe, if you're a decent looking guy who isn't a mean creep, she'd be so happy to be asked. Just be nice about it, and not creepy.

"Listen, ____, you're a really nice girl and I'd really like to get to know you more. Do you want to go to the movies with me this weekend? I'd really like it."

That's all you need. Girls like to be asked out, in a respectful way~ :flounder:

[Evastio]

Well, sure asking her may work. But he should probably make it seem less like a date. At least to the girl. That way she won't immediately reject him for "not liking him that way" (I've actually mostly given up on girls because they reject me using that line on me repeately) and will actually give him a chance. Starting from being a "normal friend" to a boyfriend will probably make it less awkward than immediately being a boyfriend.

[Madame Adequate]

Well, sure asking her may work. But he should probably make it seem less like a date. At least to the girl. That way she won't immediately reject him for "not liking him that way" (I've actually mostly given up on girls because they reject me using that line on me repeately) and will actually give him a chance. Starting from being a "normal friend" to a boyfriend will probably make it less awkward than immediately being a boyfriend.

If she ever had even an inkling, even the slightest suspicion, that he made friends with her with the intent of getting somewhere, that'd be the end of that. She'd take it as a grave personal insult, she would feel betrayed and hurt, and she would certainly want nothing more to do with him.

Do it by being honest and just asking her. If she's not into someone else, and you're nice, you should be okay.

[qwertysaur]

Just ask her. :p

[Miriel]

Y'all are given such generic advice. He's not asking about the actual ACT of asking someone to go out ("Hey, you wanna go out?") he's asking about how to get into a situation where he could have the opportunity to talk to her and ask her out.

Showing up and knocking on her door out of the blue = kinda weird. Or even, very weird.

I wouldn't suggest doing that without having some sort of other reason for knocking on her door.

If you have mutual friends, maybe you can get into a social situation where you'd be together. Or message her on facebook or myspace and be all, "hey neighbor" and start up a conversation. You need some sort of intro beyond appearing at her doorstep asking for a date. Especially considering that you're not close to her and you've only run into her once (or twice) recently.

[Bunny]

SLIP HER A NOTE THAT SAYS

"Will you date me?

[ ] Yes
[ ] Oh God Yes
[ ] Take me now"

Trust me it works.

[Mercen-X]

I met my ex-girlfriend in Swing Class. Originally, we started off as friends. I was kinda interested in several other girls at the time and was playing multiple angles to steal time with them. One explained to me that she had far too many guys asking her out (or at least she felt that since she could never actually find a guy who wanted to be her friend), so I almost instantly gave up trying to make her my girlfriend, though I'd still like to hear from her right about now.
Anyway, I'd spent years of my life trying to force relationships, but when I just tried to be friends, the relationships basically built themselves.
Anyway, as for your question, Miriel's got the right idea. If it turns out this girl is still who you imagine her to be and you wait until another "chance encounter", you might not get one and might end up missing out. If you show up at her door for the sole purpose of asking her out, it might come off a bit strange. If for any reason (i.e. your own setup) the two of you end up at the same place (i.e. your place, her place, mutual friend, get together, etc.), jump at the chance to talk to her since all you want is to get to know her right now. Then casually mention getting together sometime and you won't need an excuse or chance encounter ever again.

[Meat Puppet]

First, you need to find out when she won’t be home, but her parents will be. Ask friends, colleagues, neighbors, or whatever, for information if you have to; do not approach her (or her family) at all at this point—it could jeopardize the entire operation, so just be careful. Oh yeah, and be casual with your contacts—you don’t want one of them to get alarmed and trigger you prey. So anyway. Once you have a time you know she won’t be home, scope out her residence for a few cycles just to make sure that it is a reliable time. This part of the process can also help your confidence keep steady, but you must set yourself a maximum time before proceeding to the next step, or else you’ll hesitate forever and before you know it she’ll be underground.

Now that you know when she won’t be home, it’s safe to go to the next step. Invite yourself over during her leave. Don’t just barge in, though; you’re going to have to have a reason to be there, and it must be fictional—I can’t stress that enough, and you’ll find out why later. Make up a story: you’re selling cookies, you need to use the facilities, you used to live in the house and want to check it out, etc. Run the story so that her mother will allow you into the house for a large enough amount of time that she becomes less afraid of you. Do not worry: If you’re turned away the first time, retreat, grow a beard, and return. You can repeat that as many times as necessary, alternating between shaven and bearded (if you drag it out too long, you might need to be more creative: hair dye, stilts, sex reassignment surgery, and so on).
Her mother will sooner or later offer some kind of beverage. Do not worry: It will happen, because it is just something mothers do. If, however, it doesn’t happen, then there may be something wrong with so (see: Lycanthropy). Accept her offer. The beverage itself doesn’t matter at all—it’s just a prop to ease you and her mother into deeper conversation. Take it! Talk to her about anything. Gather as much information about the girl you’re after, her family, and crap like that, as you can, but don’t push it. Okay? Don’t smurfing push it. Just be cool, and let things flow. If you don’t get much information the first time, don’t sweat it: this step is rather long, so you will have plenty of time.
Make sure that you make it clear that you must leave before her daughter returns. She may invite you to come back some other time, but don’t worry if she doesn’t: in that case, invite yourself over in a week or so (but bring a jug of wine, or perhaps some canola oil. Anything that the mother can cook with, really.) On your second visit (which must also be at a time when your prospective mate is not home) continue to gather information—learn as much as you can, but don’t push it! Remember, you will be repeating this step quite a lot, so you can take it pretty easy.
So yeah. Just keep going over there and talking to her mother. Don’t worry too much about the father; stay on good terms with the man, but don’t get TOO friendly with him, because he doesn’t matter that much. You pretty much only need to make sure you’re never there when the daughter is. Keep at it. After a while, you can start meeting the mother at public places, getting lunch together, and weird stuff like that.

So anyway, where was I up to. Oh yeah. Sooner or later, the mother will want to invite you to meet her daughter (she would have also been telling her daughter a lot about you, which is a sweet little bonus.) Accept her offer, but give her two conditions: that you get to meet her at dinner, and that the dinner will be eaten at a restaurant and day of your choice.
s</>elect the restaurant at which you were conceived, and date it for the nearest T-day. When dining, position yourself opposite the daughter, and next to the mother. Pop can eat wherever, like I said: he doesn’t matter too much. Take keen interest in what the mother is looking at getting for dinner, but you must choose for her. Pick anything, it doesn’t matter. Just make up a story that the dish is close to you somehow... like I dunno, a lobster saved your life when you were an infant or something. Be creative, but not fantastic. For smurf’s sake, she has to believe it. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Just keep in the conversation, you know? When people aren’t eating, there must be talking: I can’t stress that enough. Probe the daughter for as much information as you can, even if you know it already. It’s just to be a part of things, you know? But you mustn’t talk to much about yourself. You really need to just be proving that you’re interested and a great listener. Say things like “That’s just like your mother!” and other things. Keep it fresh; don’t just give the same response every time, because that will give you away with smurf’s certainty. Think about everything you say, too; proof-read it, if you will, before spilling it out (this may take some practice, so I suggest doing it for about half an hour before bed every night.)
Okay. Dinner’s over. If you did a good job, you’ll be invited for some cake and brandy back at the compound. If you are not invited, it means that you have done something wrong, and (unfortunately) may have to find a way to end your life. But don’t worry: if you follow my rules, you’ll be fine (unless you have genitals on your face.) Yeah. Go back for the cake and brandy, which will be had in the den next to a roaring fire. This is where your endurance will be at your advantage (but when isn’t it?) Discussion between the four of you will go on for a few hours. You must not give up and retire. Father, who has to wake up early tomorrow, will drop first. Soon, the girl will say she is sleepy, but that there isn’t a spare bed. Do you want to share mine? She will ask you. You will reply with a no, thank her for the offer, and say that the couch will suit you fine (it is, after all, a mighty fine couch.) She might seem a little surprised and confused at this point, but don’t worry: It will mean the plan is working.
So, now it’s just you and the mother. Conversation will slow, but it will still go on for another forty minutes or so. Eventually, she will stop talking. It is important that at this point you do not say anything: I cannot stress this enough. You will both stare into the fire for quite some time. It might seem like it’s taking forever, but for the sake of love, hang in there! It will all work out (trust the http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gif outta me, I’m experienced.)
She will eventually comment that her husband is no longer gentle with her (or something very similar) Do not reply immediately. Wait about a minute, and say something like: “Heh,” and wait some more. Don’t worry if she says that’s she is an idiot, subsequently massaging her forehead: this has no impact on the scheme. Just keep waiting. When she starts to shuffle in her chair, get up, and walk over to her. Do not take you time! I can’t stress this enough. Don’t pounce, but be firm. Just approach her, thrust your fists into the chair surrounded her skull, then roll your tongue down her throat. Give her enough time to build a little anticipation, but don’t allow enough time to really think about what’s going on. You just want her to think something like: “He’s coming over. Maybe he’ll give me a hug.” Then you’re inside her, and she won’t reject you. Trust me. Kiss her passionately until she pushes you away. She will most likely comment on the incorrectness of the situation, but don’t worry: this is normal, and she really wants to. Don’t stop, either. Keep going until the two of you have made love at least twice.
With the fire now in embers, the two of you will be exhausted on the floor. Stroke parts of her fr</>om time to time: her inner thigh, her sternum, the back of her neck, and so on, but don’t over do it. Just be gentle and show that you really care about her, and that you weren’t solely interested in her vagina. The two of you will talk about what happened. Say that it was amazing, even if it wasn’t. She’ll say that it can never happen again, but tell her you want more. No, you need more. Don’t give her time to answer. Kiss her on the forehead and get dressed. Whisper something sweet, and finish it with the promise that you’ll see her again.

Keep this clandestine relationship going for several months. You must not get caught: I cannot stress this enough! Getting caught will ruin everything. Meet her to make love about once or twice a week to begin with. After a while, you can increase the frequency, but you will have to be creative with the places of fornication; orthodox situations, while great, come with a higher risk of being caught. After a while, tell her that you have to leave for a while, but you will be back (you don’t actually have to leave: you can just stay in your basement for three months if you like.) Now, there is no set time for how long you’ll have to be away, but you want to give her enough for her to develop a thirst for you. Oh, and don’t tell her where or why you’re going, either. Just tell her that you cannot say at this point.
When you return, she will fall into your arms crying. She will tell you that the pain of you being away was unbearable, and that she cannot lose you. She might tell you things like she worried of you sleeping with women in Madrid, or having your through slit in Tokyo. Even if she doesn’t, don’t worry: she worried. Then she will slowly stop sobbing, and sober up, if you will. Now being dead serious, she will give it to you straight: She’ll tell you that in the time you were gone, she left her husband, and now she wants to marry you. Accept, and tell her that you love her. For extra credit, try shedding a tear or two. Oh, and make sure that you tell her of your aching for being apart: I cannot stress how important it is that she hears this. You mustn’t be too quick to blurt it out, but you MUST do it before she asks if you missed her. If she asks, it will be over, and you’ll have to kill her and start again with someone else.
Anyway, the wedding. Being impromptu and unfaithful, there will not be a large guest list. But there must be guests. One must be the daughter, and at least three others (doesn’t matter who the three others are, but it’s pretty obvious that the father won’t be there (oh, speaking about him, he might approach you and threaten you. He’ll sample fr</>om a very negative scale of things to tell you. Don’t worry: at this point, it is safe to kill him, or have him killed. However, you must ensure that this is the perfect crime, and nobody ever discovers you: I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Note that he may commit suicide before you even return to marry his ex-wife, so don’t worry about it too much).) Where was I? Oh yeah, the wedding. Now, this is where everything pays off: you will have sex with the daughter on this day. It might not be easy, but you will have to do it. If you don’t the entire operation will be void, and you may have to burn evidence of your existence shortly before jumping off a cliff. Anyway, screw the daughter on the wedding day. Do whatever it takes to do this (you’ll have to stop short of rape, though (it’s illegal)). Also, you will have to do it before you and the mother are actually wed, so it can be quite a challenge.
Once you’ve wed the mother, allow your marriage to flourish for a few months, but keep things surreptitiously going with the daughter. The daughter will one day tell you that you have to end things with one of this, as she does not want to fool her mother for another day. Accept this. You will have 48 hours to sit your wife down and explain to her what’s going on. Tell her that you always loved her, but that her daughter took advantage of you on the wedding day. Tell her that, at first, you didn’t want to keep things going with the daughter, but she was persistent. Tell her that you still love her greatly (always will), but your thirst for her daughter is now too much. Then tell her that you and her daughter are going to change your names and move to Colombia (you will actually have to do this). Your wife will either be dead silent, or scream http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/rpg_009.gif through your brains. Either way, at this point you can’t fail: just walk out of the house, pick up her daughter, and flee to Colombia.

While getting dinner in a small eatery in Riohacha, she will comment on how this is your first real date together as couple. Peck her on the forehead, tell her that you know, and then remind her of your love for her.

That’s the trick I usually use, and it is quite effective.

[Remulak]

Are you some sort of professional stalker?

[mooglebunni608]

Do exactly what Meat Puppet says. He must be right if he took that long to write such detailed instructions!

Or just ask her out. Bump into her next chance you get, and ask her to the movies/a concert she'd like to see/anything.

[Kes]

How far down the street? It's a bad time of year for this, but be outside as much as possible, I think. Rake leaves, take your daily run around the neighbourhood, paint your house, eventually you'll see her. Talk to her then. Though mutual friend gatherings is also a very good idea.


Also, Meat Puppet, I didn't know that a mother not offering drinks was a sign of lycanthropy; thanks for the info. This thread is useful for everyone.

[Dolentrean]

Get a strange and exotic pet, have it with you where ever you go, when she finally sees you, she will most likely inquire about the pet.

At this point tell her a heartwarming story about you and the pet overcoming diversity, facing hardship and separation, and spanning a contentment to be reunited, finding yourself and fixing your broken soul along the way. If she isn’t cooking you dinner by that point, she is probably a lesbian, and if that’s the case you were doomed from the start.

[Cyric]

Are you some sort of professional stalker?

I know he was probably just trying to help, but that's EXACTLY what went through my mind as soon as I read the part about going to her house and monitoring her schedule. LOL

Anyways, so far, the Facebook idea seems the best bet, although i'll only use it if 1) she's actually on there and 2) if there isn't anything better.

The few friends she actually had on the street back in High School have pretty much all moved away. Aside from her working as security guard somewhere and me working to upgrade a few high school courses to go to University, I get the impression we're both in the same situation.

[EDIT] well, bad news is she isn't on Facebook, good news is (if you can call it that) I found her older sister. LOL The search continues!

[EDIT #2] some irrelevant good news, I found out when her birthday is, July 3rd...and it also reminded me that she's 3-days short of being exactly 6 months younger than I am...and I also found her middle-name...remind me never to use it without her permission...LOL...Google is a dangerous thing!

[Iceglow]

MEAT PUPPET!!!! The advice is perfect, do exactly as he said and when he said! Srsly! ROFL

Ok serious side, never ask a first date to the cinema if you wanna talk, cinemas are quiet places, they say "hey lets go here and sit in SILENCE for about 2 hours because I want to just screw you and don't care about you as a person" Ask her to grab a coffee. I said coffee because dinner = way too formal, you barely know her since her time in highschool. Think; you don't know the first thing about her eating habits or what she considers to be "too expensive" some girls will have a go at a guy for spending more than the cost of a KFC on them so always consider this. Coffee is also flexible, since you can grab one on a morning off, lunchbreak 1 or 2 times a week until you know each other better or after work. It's great coffee or a drink from a coffee shop like Starbucks is always acceptable too unless they for some strange reason are allergic to fruit juices, coffee and dairy heck add water to this list, they'll find something. You also cover the "lets grab a bite to eat" with this too panini might not be terribly exciting but if you remember the golden rule of "keep it clean and easy to eat and non-smelly breath food" you'll be fine, nothing worse than going for the first kiss with onion breath!

Best way to do this? Well if you bump in to her on her way to work ect just god damn ask use this casual line:

"Hey, hows you? Wow, feels like forever since we spoke what was it? Highschool? Geez, aww damn sorry I'm on my way to work (make excuse here immediate coffee date = not good idea) look I know this sounds weird but lets catch up sometime! Can I get your number arrange going for a coffee or something in the next few days?"

If she gives you her cell number all the better now remember CALL do not TXT in this TXTing is BAD! If she gives the number say "hold on, I'm gonna drop call you just to give you my cell number" do so and she has your number therefore 1) she can tell it's you calling so you won't surprise her 2) she can call you if she is truly interested 3) it shows proof that her cell number is correct believe me I've given girls a number identical to mine except the 4th digit before when I'm not interested. Later on call her and arrange the date, timing is everything calling immediately when you get home from "work" is bad wait until the next day ideally around 24 - 48 hour gap and arrange it this makes you look casual and non-desperate.

You now have the date and the girl in the bag go get her and make sure the van driver has 2 fake passports and a big enough sack to cover her head when you force her in to the black van.

[Goldenboko]

'Date?'
'Sure.'

Done.

[Misfit]

SLIP HER A NOTE THAT SAYS

"Will you date me?

[ ] Yes
[ ] Oh God Yes
[ ] Take me now"

Trust me it works.

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

[Jowy]

weirdos.

[Nominus Experse]

Hack her neural-empathy sphere and integrate an undying veneration and hotness of you.

You can find out how to do this on the internet.

[Momiji]

Hack her neural-empathy sphere and integrate an undying veneration and hotness of you.

You can find out how to do this on the internet.

Link, please.

[Levian]

What makes you think we are going on dates? The only dates we care about are release dates

[Quindiana Jones]

Oi, bitch. Bed. Now.

So far it's proved unsuccessful, but y'never know!

[Cyric]

Ok serious side, never ask a first date to the cinema if you wanna talk, cinemas are quiet places, they say "hey lets go here and sit in SILENCE for about 2 hours because I want to just screw you and don't care about you as a person" Ask her to grab a coffee. I said coffee because dinner = way too formal, you barely know her since her time in highschool. Think; you don't know the first thing about her eating habits or what she considers to be "too expensive" some girls will have a go at a guy for spending more than the cost of a KFC on them so always consider this. Coffee is also flexible, since you can grab one on a morning off, lunchbreak 1 or 2 times a week until you know each other better or after work. It's great coffee or a drink from a coffee shop like Starbucks is always acceptable too unless they for some strange reason are allergic to fruit juices, coffee and dairy heck add water to this list, they'll find something. You also cover the "lets grab a bite to eat" with this too panini might not be terribly exciting but if you remember the golden rule of "keep it clean and easy to eat and non-smelly breath food" you'll be fine, nothing worse than going for the first kiss with onion breath!

Best way to do this? Well if you bump in to her on her way to work ect just god damn ask use this casual line:

"Hey, hows you? Wow, feels like forever since we spoke what was it? Highschool? Geez, aww damn sorry I'm on my way to work (make excuse here immediate coffee date = not good idea) look I know this sounds weird but lets catch up sometime! Can I get your number arrange going for a coffee or something in the next few days?"

If she gives you her cell number all the better now remember CALL do not TXT in this TXTing is BAD! If she gives the number say "hold on, I'm gonna drop call you just to give you my cell number" do so and she has your number therefore 1) she can tell it's you calling so you won't surprise her 2) she can call you if she is truly interested 3) it shows proof that her cell number is correct believe me I've given girls a number identical to mine except the 4th digit before when I'm not interested. Later on call her and arrange the date, timing is everything calling immediately when you get home from "work" is bad wait until the next day ideally around 24 - 48 hour gap and arrange it this makes you look casual and non-desperate.

That actually sounds normal compared to everybody else that ignored the first two words of this thread: "Least weird".


You now have the date and the girl in the bag go get her and make sure the van driver has 2 fake passports and a big enough sack to cover her head when you force her in to the black van.

LMAO

[Jojee]

I.... I read Meat Puppet's whole post. xDD

I <3/hate you.

[o_O]

Meat Puppet is a professional genius.