general uselessness

[Shadow Bahamut]

whilst at work, i started thinking about the most USELESS objects that could be found on earth. mainly cuz i was bored...and cold....

1. Wax Fireguard
2. Waterproof Tea Bag
3. Chocolate coated tea-pot
4. Non-stick glue
5. Stain-free paint

have a think and list 5 objects that would be absolutely useless.

[~*~Celes~*~]

hmm...

1. Jelly CDs
2. tasteless food
3. Black light torch
4. ink-free pens
5. Dehydrated water
6. Bulletproof guns

[Lawr]

hmm...

1. Jelly CDs
2. tasteless food
3. Black light torch
4. ink-free pens
5. Dehydrated water
6. Bulletproof guns

Well I was gonna say powdered water, so I guess dehydrated is the same thing. :D

[Flying Mullet]

Underwater flashlight

[Old Manus]

Peter Mandelson

[Shadow Bahamut]

Underwater flashlight

those actually exist... (divers use them) ;)

[Flying Mullet]

Sorry, I meant solar-powered flashlight.

*brain fart*

[Vermachtnis]

DVD Rewinder, I saw a picture of it once. Dunno if it was real or not.

[Roto13]

Baloki

[rubah]

I have a solar powered flashlight. Kinda. It's in a combination radio flashlight and has three methods of power xD

a belt with no holes might be pretty hard to use (not talking about a jethro belt)

oh wait I know, high heels.

[Baloki]

[Insert Site Staff Related Joke Here]?

Chocolate Teapot.

[Madame Adequate]

Solar-powered flashlights do exist, they store the power up in their batteries :p

The House of Commons.

[bipper]

forums.eyesonff.com (http://forums.eyesonff.com/)

[NeoCracker]

Tasteless food useless? WTF?

Give it to people with hyper Sensative taste buds to make it easier to get all their nutrients is one use that comes right off the top of my head. :p

[Balzac]

3. Black light torch


Aww, forensics need to be told this.

[Aurey]

Soap.

[Gwawr]

Extra-large McDonalds meal with Diet Coke.

I mean, wth.
xox

[Mittopotahis]

Helicopter ejector seat.

[Bunny]

Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

[Shadow Bahamut]

Helicopter ejector seat.

LOL. i almost thought they would exist...but... its a bit like "out of the frying pn into the fire" isnt it really.

"crap...gonna crash...BAIL!" *pushes ejector button*....BOOM!!! WHOOOSH!!! *decapitated* "...whoever put them blades in the way???"

[Chemical]

hmm...

1. Jelly CDs
2. tasteless food
3. Black light torch
4. ink-free pens
5. Dehydrated water
6. Bulletproof guns

Actually! :D
tasteless food is something we use in a clinical setting.
We usually feed it to patients who are in chemo etc., and have a hyper-sensitivity to smells and tastes which could supress the appetite.


Anyways.

1. fridge magnets
(the ones too flimsy to even hold up a piece of paper)

[Peegee]

I'm pretty useless....

Anyway the "World's Biggest" anything is pretty useless.

[Gwawr]

Large Hadron Collider - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider)

[Iceglow]

Helicopter ejector seat.

LOL. i almost thought they would exist...but... its a bit like "out of the frying pn into the fire" isnt it really.

"crap...gonna crash...BAIL!" *pushes ejector button*....BOOM!!! WHOOOSH!!! *decapitated* "...whoever put them blades in the way???"

Well, think on this and watch more bond movies! In Goldeneye there is a helicopter with an ejector cockpit more than seats but it could be done without the cockpit being launched, thinking about that it'd be safer to launch a seat the pilots can shrug out of than launching a sealed unit. Ok heres how a Helicopter ejector seat would work:

The helicopter is hit and is about to go down, it's not a major detonation since in such situations with a central - aft mounted fuel tank it'd go "BOOM" and kill the pilot but it's say a RPG (as in RPG military terms not gaming duh) hits the tail prop thus making the chopper spin out of control, theres no way of regaining control and the pilot cannot put down he's going to crash and die. He hits a button and all of a sudden the propeller blades are explosively freed from their mountings much like a bomb or missile is fired. Seconds later with the propeller blades cleared out the way (either the movement of the chopper or by force of the rotation turning them in to projectiles flying outwards from the body of the helicopter) the canopy blows out and the ejector seat goes up. Providing he's not very low to the ground the pilot should survive the trip.

Similarly a gun which is bullet proof would not be useless, you can shoot a gun and jam it thus rendering it unusable by the person who wishes to shoot it, in a war this could save a comrades life and at the same point leave the person holding the gun with injured hands or utterly exposed to a shot. Not as effective as blowing the guys head off but if it's the only possible shot then it could work.

[NeoCracker]

Couldn't the ejector seat be rigged to shoot out the side or bottom or something? I wouldn't think it would have to shoot up. :p

[~*~Celes~*~]

hmm...

1. Jelly CDs
2. tasteless food
3. Black light torch
4. ink-free pens
5. Dehydrated water
6. Bulletproof guns

Actually! :D
tasteless food is something we use in a clinical setting.
We usually feed it to patients who are in chemo etc., and have a hyper-sensitivity to smells and tastes which could supress the appetite.


Anyways.

1. fridge magnets
(the ones too flimsy to even hold up a piece of paper)

Actually, I never knew that! Makes sense though :p

Also, agree'd on the whole flimsy magnet thing. If I wanted decorations on my fridge that serve no other purpose, I'd grab a few markers or something.

[Iceglow]

Couldn't the ejector seat be rigged to shoot out the side or bottom or something? I wouldn't think it would have to shoot up. :p

See the only issue with such a seat is low altitude and also the fact that shooting out the side or below an aircraft which is about to crash would be a bad idea, the seat would risk either being hit by the wreckage of the craft or shooting the pilot with terminal force in to the ground or in rare instances the seat could land right where the craft does turning the pilot who thought he'd live in to a pancake. Ejector seats go up because in the vast majority of crashes the speed of the wreckage and the forces of gravity mean it would land clear of the crash site by several hundred meters, also they shoot up to gain height so that a chute might actually slow the pilot's descent from terminal or even severe injury acquiring speeds to a speed where he will walk away making the rescue of the pilot easier....why I know such things I do not know.

[NeoCracker]

Couldn't the ejector seat be rigged to shoot out the side or bottom or something? I wouldn't think it would have to shoot up. :p

See the only issue with such a seat is low altitude and also the fact that shooting out the side or below an aircraft which is about to crash would be a bad idea, the seat would risk either being hit by the wreckage of the craft or shooting the pilot with terminal force in to the ground or in rare instances the seat could land right where the craft does turning the pilot who thought he'd live in to a pancake. Ejector seats go up because in the vast majority of crashes the speed of the wreckage and the forces of gravity mean it would land clear of the crash site by several hundred meters, also they shoot up to gain height so that a chute might actually slow the pilot's descent from terminal or even severe injury acquiring speeds to a speed where he will walk away making the rescue of the pilot easier....why I know such things I do not know.

Well either way it is likely safer the actually crashing with the helicoptor itself. :p

Though why not eject the whole cockpit out the side, and THEN use an ejector seat to go up, that way you don't hit the propellers?

Edit: Or better yet just Eject the Propellors first. :p

[Mittopotahis]

....You're not supposed to think about it logically, guys. We're on the internet.

[~*~Celes~*~]

....You're not supposed to think about it logically, guys. We're on the internet.

It's the internet. It's srs business.

[Shadow Bahamut]

....You're not supposed to think about it logically, guys. We're on the internet.

It's the internet. It's srs business.

Yeah right, wuteva! lol

You know that chopper cockpit / prop removal system could be a winner you know. Ask BAE (British Aerospace) if they've managed to think of it yet. You might end up with a tidy pocket full of money out of it.

®Registered ©Copyrighted

BY ME! :P HAHAHA!!

[~*~Celes~*~]

....You're not supposed to think about it logically, guys. We're on the internet.

It's the internet. It's srs business.

Yeah right, wuteva! lol

You know that chopper cockpit / prop removal system could be a winner you know. Ask BAE (British Aerospace) if they've managed to think of it yet. You might end up with a tidy pocket full of money out of it.

®Registered ©Copyrighted

BY ME! :P HAHAHA!!

Dirty little spammer. :shifty: