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Suvious

04-16-2009, 10:57 AM

Ok guys I got a freaking tonne of essays to write :P Could anyone give me a few improvements? Here's the fast half of my Romeo and Juliet essay!

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Explore The Dramatic Devices & Qualities presented in Act III Scene I of Romeo And Juliet<o:p></o:p>

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Throughout this essay, an exploration of dramatics devices & qualities shall occur in the tragic-comedy of [I]William Shakespeare’s “Romeo & Juliet’s” Act III Scene I in order to assess how they affect the play and the audience, thus improving the play as a whole. This essay shall therefore present each quality with appropriate evidence to support the effects.<o:p></o:p>
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The play is foretold in the prologue, thus giving the audience a basis in which to fear what is to come; such a foretelling in the prologue gives the audience the irony of the tragedy. The narrator gives his prophetic speech about “star cross’d lovers” in the prologue, this provides adequate evidence for a tragedy as it foreshadows the lovers fate. The events are tragic, yet the play is only truly made a tragedy by the prologues foreshadowing; a tragedy is where an inevitable, yet sad, sorrowful, remorseful etc. event occurs. This event cannot be changed by any means, and is therefore a tragedy.<o:p></o:p>
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In this play, Act III Scene I is believed to be the pivotal scene wherein the plays genre changes from a comedy, to a tragedy; though the prologue foretold its tragic ending the play remains generally comical until this point. Benvolio begins the scene acting as a character-narrator, he provides the necessary means for Mercutio to deliver information to the audience; however, Benvolio begins foreshadowing the scene by warning Mercutio they would not “scape a brawl”. The scene progresses with Mercutio and Tybalt engaging in banter, questioning each others sexuality with various comments and sexual innuendo, gradually escalating with antagonism & reaction. Thus, a fight occurs between Mercutio and Tybalt resulting in Mercutio’s death. He proceeds to swear a plague on both the Capulets and the Montagues with his final breaths. Romeo having lost his friend, then goes on to kill Tybalt, resulting in Romeo’s banishment. This banishment represents the plays turn of events, as Romeo may not enter <st1:city><st1:place>Verona</st1:place></st1:city> again without violating the law, nor may Juliet leave without dishonouring her family.

Remember - I'm in high school! Nothing too flash - I'm also English so I have all my 'U's'
<o:p></o:p> Wtf where did all those faces come from? Haha

Imperfectionist

04-17-2009, 07:10 PM

Okay, i'm English too and i'm doing English Lit. & Lang. for A level, and I got quite good for my GCSEs so hopefully I can help lol

I haven't actually read the play, but I just wanna give you some pointers about structure. I'm sure your teacher has told you all about Point Evidence Analysis, which I can see that you are remembering as you write, however an essay is supposed to analyse the use of language etc. rather than retell the story, which is what I feel like you're doing, especially in your second paragraph. Always remember that the moderator knows the play inside out, and they aren't asking you what happens in the play, they're asking you to analyse it and its effect on the audience.

To do this you need to start thinking about analysing specifically what Shakespere is trying to convey. For example you could say things like 'Through use of language, a sense of genre is introduced in the prologue, 'star cross'd lovers' The use of the word 'lovers' implies to the reader that...' etc. And when you start your analysis of each quote, always remember what they have asked you to do and refer back to the subject which is, in your case, dramatic devices and qualities.

Also, in your introduction, try to avoid saying things like 'This essay will...' etc. Introductions are very difficult, but in order to make it sound more sophisticated and impress from the word go you need to introduce the subject impersonally.

And remember that it is a play, you can also make use of stage directions as they have an effect on the audience as well! Other than that though, I think you have a really nice way of writing and you could easily get a high mark if you just work at it.

hhr1dluv

04-17-2009, 07:45 PM

So, I glanced at your essay, and I have two suggestions. I recommend taking advantage of an active voice instead of a passive voice, and also speak in the present tense. For instance, instead of writing "the play is foretold in the prologue," write "the prologue foretells the play[in this way...]." Also, what exactly is your thesis? You basically say that you plan on looking at dramatic devices, and then you imply that what you have discovered "improves on the play as whole." Now, I realize you're English and I believe the English have a bit of a different way of structuring essays than Americans do. But, I think your essay could benefit if you say right away what you're trying to prove, and then you can conclude with why your argument matters. You might say in your introduction, "Through his use of foreshadowing, [theme, repetition, stage direction, etc. etc.] Shakespeare conveys a deep sense of foreboding in both his play and in the audience...[blah blah]." Then you'd spend the essay showing how exactly he does that.

I like that you're exploring the ways in which Romeo and Juliet seems to a bait-and-switch comedy to tragedy. Aspects like the marriage plot makes the play somewhat comedic, though it is pretty definitively a tragedy I would say. However, I disagree with one of your lines of reasoning, where you say that the prologue is what makes the play a tragedy. I wouldn't say that this prologue causes the tragedy, but rather simply alludes to it. Aspects of the play, like the unfortunate lack of communication and ultimately fate is what makes this play a tragedy.

There are some other suggestions I could make when I have more time, though I should say that I might be being unnecessarily critical. I have been writing college essays for so long and I'm a bit intense about literary arguments (English major). :D Ultimately, I think I could be more helpful if I knew exactly what you were trying to prove in your essay. Good luck with everything!