The PS2 shall die...

[Unbreakable Will]

Because it is being the biggest piece of techno trash. Im trying to play Breath of Fire 3 and it won't load. So I beat it like a prostitute so it'll work, it fears the rage.

So how do you fix your techno problems?

[Madame Adequate]

I ragequit IRL.

[Blue Harvest]

Throw it out of the window like a frisbee. It'll hit a mother bird on the way back to her nest to feed her babies. The baby birds will attack your PS2 in a rage, breaking it completely. They'll then come after you, not realising you closed your window and hitting it with a satisfying crunch. The window cleaner charges you extra for cleaning up the blood, and you also have to fork out £300 for a PS3. Despite the huge cost this is still the best way to solve your problem.

[Unbreakable Will]

Throw it out of the window like a frisbee. It'll hit a mother bird on the way back to her nest to feed her babies. The baby birds will attack your PS2 in a rage, breaking it completely. They'll then come after you, not realising you closed your window and hitting it with a satisfying crunch. The window cleaner charges you extra for cleaning up the blood, and you also have to fork out £300 for a PS3. Despite the huge cost this is still the best way to solve your problem.
hmmm, I like it

[Quindiana Jones]

I have been taught the Magic Hand by my dad. Any PC problems? Whack. Job done.

Doesn't work on games consoles unfortunately. With them, I methodically go through every option. This works. If it turns out it's something I can't fix, I bitch about it to people in PMs and put vague comments in threads in GC. Fuck you, Bethesda.

[drotato]

You pour water on it. =D

[Jiro]

Drop weights on it. Seriously, this fixed my friend's Xbox. A couple of kilograms/pounds/whatever you use will do it.

Failing that, beat it against the head of somebody you dislike. I dunno why, just seems like it could work.

[Iceglow]

This is a common problem with the PS2, the laser is out of tune for CD, it's not just Breath of Fire 3 that is the problem, insert a music disc or other ps1 game and it won't always read it. There is a very simple but time consuming soloution for this provided it is not a slimline:

Unscrew the ps2 casing taking care not to damage the silver ribbon that attaches the power unit controls.
remove the top of the disc tray
since you're looking at your laser housing ect first check the runners, slide the laser unit towards the center and back out again carefully, check the tray is not twisted/improperly adjusted, if it is it's really simple to just unscrew the tray and re-attach it to the casing correctly, if lubrication is needed for the runners the laser runs on, remove them from the console and wipe them with a tissue with a small amount of vaseline petroleum gel on it this makes them slippy again.
Ok so this is nice maintenance, also remove any dust from the inside of the console carefully, if you do not have compressed air to blow the dust out then I reccomend a clean white sock on the end of a small hoover attachment the reason for the sock is to prevent damage.
Now to actually fix your issue with the CD and such not working. there is a white plastic cog/gear in all models of ps2 this has never changed. I believe it has 72 teeth and can be found near the "resting" position of the laser unit. You will need the white magnetised laser cap from the tray lid at this point and for the console to be switched on using both a PS1 game and a PS2 game (if no ps1 game is available all old PS2 games printed on BLUE discs are actually CDs not DVDs) move the cog 1 increment at a time, I believe there to be 2 settings which will work for both cd and dvd, be careful when applying the cap of the cd tray not to let the metal magnet go down first it's really really difficult to remove the cap once this happens and thats not good. If the setting is not correct for both turn console off, remove disc and move gear by 1 increment, usually the cog will tick 1 increment out either direction so try these first if no joy then go in a clockwise motion until you have tried all of the settings until this works.
Finally, place the drive cap back in to the tray lid like it was, again metal magnet up please! then seal the console casing as it was before you opened it and screw shut. viola you have just performed a full service on your PS2. Sony used to charge around $75 for that and I used to charge 30 quid a service to do the same, all in all it should take with practise around 10 - 20 mins for the entire service.


You can thank me later for teaching you the ways of the gods!

[Yar]

:heart: my PS2.

[Darkswordofchaos]

Hire a big giant guy to come molest it and it will behave

[Sephex]

I had the same problem with my PS2, so I violently dry humped it. It tried to get away, but there was nothing the console could do. If it wouldn't let me play my games on it I was going to have my way with it one way or another!

I haven't had a problem with any of my consoles ever since.

[Aerith's Knight]

I had the same problem with my PS2, so I violently dry humped it. It tried to get away, but there was nothing the console could do. If it wouldn't let me play my games on it I was going to have my way with it one way or another!

I haven't had a problem with any of my consoles ever since.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8384/ps3desperate.jpg (http://img99.imageshack.us/i/ps3desperate.jpg/)

Playstation 3, you own it.

[Sephex]

I had the same problem with my PS2, so I violently dry humped it. It tried to get away, but there was nothing the console could do. If it wouldn't let me play my games on it I was going to have my way with it one way or another!

I haven't had a problem with any of my consoles ever since.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8384/ps3desperate.jpg (http://img99.imageshack.us/i/ps3desperate.jpg/)

Playstation 3, you own it.

You got me. I rape all my consoles constantly for fun.

[Aerith's Knight]

Well, there wouldn't be much point in it if it wasn't fun for you, now would there?

[Sephex]

Well, there wouldn't be much point in it if it wasn't fun for you, now would there?

...you win this round.

[black orb]

>>> I need to get a new PS2..

[Fuzakeru]

Remember that awful, Disc Read Error thing you'd get on the PS2? My ex fiance got tired of it so he took it apart and he fixed it! I was so proud! He got up to plug it back in and snapped one of the wires when he tripped on it.

He then took a hammer to the PS2.

I'm pretty sure I remember that fixing it less.

[qwertysaur]

use a FIRE spell on it.

[Aerith's Knight]

That is why qwerty still can't play with matches.

[The Last Oath]

Sometimes all things need to work is a good push, pull or smack. I.e my bedroom window

[Blue Harvest]

use a FIRE spell on it.


Silly qwerty, all PS2s are equipped with a ring of reflection that renders them immune from all magic while strengthening the spell 1000 times and returning it in a field effect around them, so using a fire spell on one would set the room on fire. But I highly recommend using blizzard spells :cool:

[Unbreakable Will]

use a FIRE spell on it.

pfff, as if I haven't tried that before :rolleyes2

[Mirage]

When my PS2 won't read discs, I mount disc images via the network from my desktop computer. I love my modchip.

[rubah]

I had a computer once that would make a ghost noise 'WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' when you tried to start it up. I took it down to the computer store (this was before IRC, thus before I was awesome with computers) and it worked fine there.

When I got back home, it was ghost time again.

I thought about it logically for a while, and realized that the only change was the bumpy ride down, so I conducted an experiment. I picked the tower up and shook it vigorously.

It booted.

"orlllllllllly"

Thinking back, it was probably a loose hdd connection or something, but hey, shaking it helped.

[qwertysaur]

use a FIRE spell on it.

pfff, as if I haven't tried that before :rolleyes2
Then try a ICE spell. :spin:
Or summon RAMUH

[Shoeberto]

I am reminded of the time at a LAN party with my computer, playing Warzone with a friend. It was smelling like computer parts overheating, which my friends noticed. I explained, "It's just my power supply. It gets like that, it's no big deal." Not a minute later, POP. A capacitor exploded in the PSU. I thought it was hilarious once I knew that it was just the power supply and not everything else.

Lesson learned: Don't use crappy, bundled PSUs that come with cheap cases.

[nik0tine]

Immolation. Alternatively, emulation.

[Quindiana Jones]

I had a computer once that would make a ghost noise 'WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' when you tried to start it up. I took it down to the computer store (this was before IRC, thus before I was awesome with computers) and it worked fine there.

When I got back home, it was ghost time again.

I thought about it logically for a while, and realized that the only change was the bumpy ride down, so I conducted an experiment. I picked the tower up and shook it vigorously.

It booted.

"orlllllllllly"

Thinking back, it was probably a loose hdd connection or something, but hey, shaking it helped.

rubah shakes things to make them stop making weird noises. rubah should not be allowed near babies. :(

[rubah]

Babies like to be bounced!

[Quindiana Jones]

But not shaken vigourously!

[rubah]

What about stirred?

[Quindiana Jones]

Stirred is the correct way to do it, yes. That way they don't get cloudy.

[Unbreakable Will]

^ hahahaha
oh dear god, what have you people done? You have reminded me of...(insert suspensful theme music here, or elevator music if you'd like)
DEAD BABY JOKES

[DarkBahamut]

Holy Water...'nuff said!