Reasons why Twilight is Ridiculous (hey, this entire thread is a spoiler)

[rubah]

Let's list things that are ridiculous about this series.


1. Bella has a baby that she doesn't even have to worry about. She doesn't have to have a maternal instinct because there are five other people who are willing to take care of it, so she can just like go away and do whatever.

2. Despite having no kind of relationship with her dad, she doesn't want to go away from him. She didn't even want to be in Forks to begin with. He is angry with her for lying to him and being with Edward, but for some reason, that means they both want her to be within his grasp, uner his control.

3. the perfection.

[Rye]

4) Edward Cullen, the 100+ year old virgin, doesn't want to have sex with Bella. Wtf?

[Bunny]

5. VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE

[Madame Adequate]

6. Bella is so clumsy that she could find a way to get decapitated whilst taking a dump. Even without visiting Raccoon City.



5. VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE

I think this one actually covers 5 through n. Maybe even all the way up to x for that matter.

[Jojee]

7. Every boi/vamp/werewolf in the whole wide universe falls in love with Bella~ I wonder what kind of pheromones she's sweating. And speaking of which, WAS THAT CONVERSATION BETWEEN JACOB AND EDWARD AT THE END OF BOOK 3 NOT THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING YOU HAVE EVER READ? xDDD; *dies a million times over*

[Crimson]

5. VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE

For the love of god this.

Also,



It tries WAY too hard in the romantic aspect, oh sure, the Vampire's gone, ohwell, tragic end.

OH WAIT LET'S THROW IN A WEREWOLF LOVE INTEREST SUUURE WHY NOT?

You want a good romance vampire film? Go look up Fright Night.

[Jessweeee♪]

9. It's okay if he [Edward] hurts you [Bella]. He didn't mean it. He loves you.

[daggertrepe]

Rosalie's character

[Crimson]

9. It's okay if he [Edward] hurts you [Bella]. He didn't mean it. He loves you.

That's what they all say in Court.

[Freya]

11. The use of a thesaurus all the time!

[krissy]

bella constantly breathes through her mouth

it's incredibly attractive to vampires i guess

[Shlup]

Jacob "imprinting on Renesmee, effectively wrapping up the love triangle in a neat little package.

WTF kind of name is Renesmee?!

[Rye]

If you pronounce it like Reneh-zmay, like I do, it's actually really pretty. I never was terrible bothered by the name. But that's coming from the girl whose idea of amazing daughter names are Ophelia, Pandora and Scarlett Odessa.

[Shlup]

No, it's not really pretty. It's ridiculous and immature.

Also, you're insane.

[Madame Adequate]

WTF kind of name is Renesmee?!

A really good one, and one of the very few redeeming features of that woman's entire corpus of work.

[Rye]

Those are probably the more tame names that I like too. For that, I will name you the godmother of any child I have so that you'll be known as Amanda, Godmother of (ELANA PANDORA ODESSA RENESSMEE VERONICA FARTYSPANTS) :bigsmile:

[Freya]

Vampires can have Babies.

[Mogi]

15. It wasn't published on some blog and promptly forgotten.

[Bunny]

If you pronounce it like Reneh-zmay, like I do, it's actually really pretty. I never was terrible bothered by the name. But that's coming from the girl whose idea of amazing daughter names are Ophelia, Pandora and Scarlett Odessa.

God what I wouldn't do to get all up inside Pandora's box.

[The Space Pope]

The most ridiculous thing about Twilight is the fact that so many people bought into it.

[Shlup]

WTF kind of name is Renesmee?!

A really good one, and one of the very few redeeming features of that woman's entire corpus of work.

I seriously didn't think anyone over the age of fourteen would think just combining the names Renee and Esme to Renesmee was cute or clever. You and Jess are not allowed to breed.

[Rye]

If you pronounce it like Reneh-zmay, like I do, it's actually really pretty. I never was terrible bothered by the name. But that's coming from the girl whose idea of amazing daughter names are Ophelia, Pandora and Scarlett Odessa.

God what I wouldn't do to get all up inside Pandora's box.

FESHFGIJHJDHRKGDRYHRFJSIEJHGIAUWEHEDWIHTUE4WIJ

[Madame Adequate]

WTF kind of name is Renesmee?!

A really good one, and one of the very few redeeming features of that woman's entire corpus of work.

I seriously didn't think anyone over the age of fourteen would think just combining the names Renee and Esme to Renesmee was cute or clever. You and Jess are not allowed to breed.

I thought you were cool, but even you are boring and like boring names that everyone has. :|

[Bunny]

Your fault, not mine.

[rubah]

As long as you don't pronounce it ren-smie, I'm down with it.

[Shlup]

Me not liking Renesmee doesn't mean I don't like interesting names. It's that the whole thought process of "well I want to name my carnivorous infant after my mortal mother and my vampire mother. i no, i'll just smush the names together! there we go, that's not retarded at all" is fucking retarded.

If I wanted to name a kid after my dad and BJ's dad I wouldn't name him Ranvin or Kevdy. Anyone can just combine two words; it's not interesting or clever. In fact, it's pretty damn unclever.

You wait until my first kid pops out; then you'll see some great naming skills.

[rubah]

Poopbutt McShlup Matu;ldalthasd;lknvch I

[Bunny]

Randy-Kevin would be superior anyway, Shlup.

Boy, that Kevin sure is Randy.

[Raistlin]

God what I wouldn't do to get all up inside Pandora's box.

Hahahaha, good job ruining that name forever, Bunny.

[Bunny]

Just doing my job!

[Crimson]

The most ridiculous thing about Twilight is the fact that so many people bought into it.

This.


But then again these are the people who also thought Mamma Mia was a good film.


...yeah


Humanity really is totally screwed.

[charliepanayi]

The most ridiculous thing about Twilight is the fact that so many people bought into it.

This.


But then again these are the people who also thought Mamma Mia was a good film.


...yeah


Humanity really is totally screwed.

Not to mention the number of people who went to see Transformers 2 this summer

We're doomed!

[Aydin]

NO! TWILIGHT IS NOT RIDICULOUS! IT'S THE GREATEST BOOK EVER MADE! HOW DARE YOU BASH IT EVER!?

[Fonzie]

NO! TWILIGHT IS NOT RIDICULOUS! IT'S THE GREATEST BOOK EVER MADE! HOW DARE YOU BASH IT EVER!?

Can not tell if serious. :shifty:

[Polaris]

The Cullens are always thinking that they will be in war with the Volturis but in the end they are all very diplomatic

Bella's pregnancy was one reason she would grow up, but she keeps sacrificing herself... at this point Bella is not a hero she's just stupid

Really mrs. Meyer you make us women look like a bunch of slaves that care about nothing else than be in love with the perfect guy! Bella's not a girl, she's a zombie XD

[Madame Adequate]

Me not liking Renesmee doesn't mean I don't like interesting names. It's that the whole thought process of "well I want to name my carnivorous infant after my mortal mother and my vampire mother. i no, i'll just smush the names together! there we go, that's not retarded at all" is smurfing retarded.

If I wanted to name a kid after my dad and BJ's dad I wouldn't name him Ranvin or Kevdy. Anyone can just combine two words; it's not interesting or clever. In fact, it's pretty damn unclever.

You wait until my first kid pops out; then you'll see some great naming skills.

I didn't know she had done that, because I don't read the books. :p I just like the end result.

[Breine]

NO! TWILIGHT IS NOT RIDICULOUS! IT'S THE GREATEST BOOK EVER MADE! HOW DARE YOU BASH IT EVER!?

Can not tell if serious. :shifty:

xD

[Boney King]

Really mrs. Meyer you make us women look like a bunch of slaves that care about nothing else than be in love with the perfect guy! Bella's not a girl, she's a zombie XD
That's because she's a Mormon.

[blackmage_nuke]

The name Renesmee makes me think of someone playing Smee from Peter Pan with a french accent.

Ive never read or seen twighlight so i wouldnt know whats ridiculus about it.

But something good I have to say about it is that when I walked into the bookstore they were really nicely stacked and displayed. There was good use of spiral stacking and presentation. It did draw my attention for a second.

[Crimson]

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Fans cause Pattinson cab accident (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8108658.stm)


Sorry I just HAD to post this.


You reap what you sow, pretty boy.

[Shlup]

Firstly, what did he sow? An acting career? Heaven forbid an actor be successful in his career, I guess. It's not like he himself has ever done anything bad that I know of.

Secondly, what did he reap? He got grazed by a cab over a month ago while trying to escape fans and the media made a huge deal out of it. Nothing of interest actually happened.

[G13]

Shlup. You scare me right now.

[Crimson]

Firstly, what did he sow? An acting career? Heaven forbid an actor be successful in his career, I guess. It's not like he himself has ever done anything bad that I know of.

Secondly, what did he reap? He got grazed by a cab over a month ago while trying to escape fans and the media made a huge deal out of it. Nothing of interest actually happened.

Um, ok?

[Quindiana Jones]

The...umm...biological processes in male vampires continue but if you are female they don't. I don't claim to be a doctor or anything, but I'm pretty sure I have to keep refilling myself if I don't want it to run out.
Bella's a fucking idiot.
Everything's bad everything's bad everything's bad everything's bad and ZOOM! Literally everything is fantastic. Seriously. It's also like this in The Host. You have no idea how much I wanted that fight to happen. Even two random characters introduced for pretty much no reason whatsoever managed to get a little bit of the loving. I'm surprised everyone in Forks isn't just fucking each other all the time.
Bella's a fucking idiot.
I agree with Shlup on the Renesmee crap. I too, read it as "Reneh-smay". And it's still :bou::bou::bou::bou:. Ophelia is an awesome name. I spent weeks trying to convince my pregnant friend to force her husband to accept the name Auryn. Renesmee looks stupid, and sounds like someone with a cold having an epileptic fit trying to swear.
Bella's a fucking idiot.

[Bunny]

Firstly, what did he sow? An acting career? Heaven forbid an actor be successful in his career, I guess. It's not like he himself has ever done anything bad that I know of.

I'm not entirely sure I would call his acting career a success. Anyone who had gotten the part of Edward would've been praised relentless and faced instant spotlight, he just has a better agent than the other actors who were auditioning for the part (or for some reason, the director and author thought he was amazing). I haven't seen too many other movies with him in it, but looking at some of the trailers (his attempt at Salvador Dali, for instance) leads me to believe he's a terrible, terrible actor.

Also he doesn't look good with a mustache.

[drotato]

Lol,
I knew this topic was going to come up soon enough.

[Dolentrean]

Edward looks like a rapist.
Breaking into someones house and watching them sleep is NOT romantic

[Quindiana Jones]

Breaking into someones house and watching them sleep is NOT romantic

................fuck. :shifty:

[Polaris]

Btw if you don't know yet a guy wrote a book that is:

A parody of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga from Harvard Lampoon.

'About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.'

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31l0BVuaW6L._SS500_.jpg

I think it will be published in October XD I want to buy it so badly (if it will be under 15€)

[Shlup]

Um, ok?

Alright, so I guess you didn't have any actual basis for your original comment.
I'm not entirely sure I would call his acting career a success. Anyone who had gotten the part of Edward would've been praised relentless and faced instant spotlight, he just has a better agent than the other actors who were auditioning for the part (or for some reason, the director and author thought he was amazing). I haven't seen too many other movies with him in it, but looking at some of the trailers (his attempt at Salvador Dali, for instance) leads me to believe he's a terrible, terrible actor.

Also he doesn't look good with a mustache.

He's been doing a lot of movies lately. Whether he's a good actor or not, I'd say getting a lot of work makes you pretty successful as an actor.

I haven't seen any of his other movies either, but I know he's been getting a lot of roles. It just annoys me when people start saying things for the sake of hearing themselves speak with no basis for their claims.

[Laddy]

It's fucking Twilight.

[Bunny]

I'm not entirely sure I would call his acting career a success. Anyone who had gotten the part of Edward would've been praised relentless and faced instant spotlight, he just has a better agent than the other actors who were auditioning for the part (or for some reason, the director and author thought he was amazing). I haven't seen too many other movies with him in it, but looking at some of the trailers (his attempt at Salvador Dali, for instance) leads me to believe he's a terrible, terrible actor.

Also he doesn't look good with a mustache.

He's been doing a lot of movies lately. Whether he's a good actor or not, I'd say getting a lot of work makes you pretty successful as an actor.

I haven't seen any of his other movies either, but I know he's been getting a lot of roles. It just annoys me when people start saying things for the sake of hearing themselves speak with no basis for their claims.

That is where are opinions differ, I suppose. I define "successsful" on a quality over quantity type of basis. Regardless of how many movie offers he has gotten (which would no doubt be attributed to the publicity attained solely from his role in Twilight), he is still a terrible actor. As noted by the fact that throughout the entirety of Twilight, he looked as if he was going to vomit on everyone around him. I'm also fairly certain that the director for Twilight did not initially want him to play the part, but I suppose that's neither here nor there because he eventually won the role.

I'm not sure if that last part is directed me or not. :x

[charliepanayi]

I think it's fair to say that it's too early to tell how Robert Pattinson's career is going to go - he can live off the Twilight series until 2011/2012 so that's his absolute minimum shelf life anyway :D

[Shlup]

I'm not sure if that last part is directed me or not. :x

It was directed at Crimson.

Anyway, I think Robert Pattinson is a good actor. Of course, I'm not a good judge of acting ability so there you go.

And the director did want him for Twilight right off the bat. She has a total boner for the dude. Also, she's a terrible director.

[Dolentrean]

Oh yah, it's written poorly

[Bunny]

Anyway, I think Robert Pattinson is a good actor. Of course, I'm not a good judge of acting ability so there you go.

Everyone has their opinion on what qualifies as good acting. My tastes are just superior is all. That's no big deal though. :P

[Markus. D]

It's wayyyy WAYYYYY too whipped for my liking.

But it being a vampire film, I have to find something I like about it (The way they have to feed, it's nice and fangless, which means it's gory).

That and I'd totally do Alice and Jasper.

[Crimson]

Um, ok?

Alright, so I guess you didn't have any actual basis for your original comment.



On the contrary, yes I did.


I dont like Twilight nor a single one of it's actors in any form and will publicly attempt to humiliate or spite them no matter how little or large and I dont particulary care how much I get bashed for it.

:D

[Bunny]

I dont like Twilight nor a single one of it's actors in any form and will publicly attempt to humiliate or spite them no matter how little or large and I dont particulary care how much I get bashed for it.

Peter Facinelli was pretty good in Fastlane, even if the show itself kinda blew hard. Edi Gathegi was also one of my favorite fellowship actors in House and did a pretty good job in the single Veronica Mars episode he was in.

You're being extremely ignorant in your dislike of Twilight and all things associated with it. It's fine if you don't like the movie, but I highly doubt you've seen enough of every single character that plays a part in the series to make such outrageous claims of hatred against any or all of them. I see you trollin', stop hatin'.

[Crimson]

Right, of course, my deepest apologies, let me fix that.





I dont like Twilight nor a single one of it's actors in any form and will publicly attempt to humiliate or spite them no matter how little or large and I dont particulary care how much I get bashed for it.

/opinion

Peter Facinelli was pretty good in Fastlane, even if the show itself kinda blew hard. Edi Gathegi was also one of my favorite fellowship actors in House and did a pretty good job in the single Veronica Mars episode he was in.


/opinion


You're being extremely ignorant in your opinion that you dislike of Twilight and all things associated with it. It's fine if you don't like the movie, but I highly doubt assume you havent seen enough of every single character that plays a part in the series to make such outrageous claims of hatred against any or all of them. I see you trollin', stop hatin'.


Happy?

[Shlup]

You're of course always entitled to your opinion, but just because it is an opinion doesn't make it impervious to being labeled as unfounded or ignorant. You can expect people to challenge your opinions with facts or their own opinions when your opinions appear to have no basis, and just saying "OPINION" is not going to increase the credibility of your claims.

If you have no interest in backing up your opinions and don't care if people think less of you for it, then I don't see why you bother stating your opinions at all.

So, no, we're not happy.

[tan]

The fact that even the Wikipedia summary of Twilight is awful :D

[Boney King]

It causes silly, lulzy drama on internet forums, even when all members of said forums agree that Twilight is ridiculous.

[Unbreakable Will]

Well, its time for me to put my two cents in:
Bella is a pisspoor representation of a woman, Vampires DO NOT sparkle, I have not and will not read the books, Myers needs to be lobotomized to prevent further drivel from being printed and read by the population because it is lowering IQs
You guys should feel bad for me, Nikki is going to make me watch New Moon.

[Crimson]

Well, its time for me to put my two cents in:
Bella is a pisspoor representation of a woman, Vampires DO NOT sparkle, I have not and will not read the books, Myers needs to be lobotomized to prevent further drivel from being printed and read by the population because it is lowering IQs
You guys should feel bad for me, Nikki is going to make me watch New Moon.

There is always a way out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide/) man.

[demondude]

The most ridiculous thing about Twilight is the fact that so many people bought into it.

This.


But then again these are the people who also thought Mamma Mia was a good film.


...yeah


Humanity really is totally screwed.

Mamma Mia is amazing. :nonono:

[Unbreakable Will]

Well, its time for me to put my two cents in:
Bella is a pisspoor representation of a woman, Vampires DO NOT sparkle, I have not and will not read the books, Myers needs to be lobotomized to prevent further drivel from being printed and read by the population because it is lowering IQs
You guys should feel bad for me, Nikki is going to make me watch New Moon.

There is always a way out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide/) man.
Oh wow, that was epic!

[Laddy]

Reasons why Harry Potter and Twilight should never be compared to one another.


In an interview with USA Weekend's Brian Truitt, Stephen King stated, "the real difference [between Rowling and Meyer] is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer, and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.

[Crimson]

Reasons why Harry Potter and Twilight should never be compared to one another.


In an interview with USA Weekend's Brian Truitt, Stephen King stated, "the real difference [between Rowling and Meyer] is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer, and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good.

I dont think i've ever respected Stephen King as much as I do now.

[Raistlin]

Yeah, but Stephen King didn't know what he was talking about (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDQ2h4hrors&feature=fvsr) [Warning: Profanity].

[Rye]

Yeah, but Stephen King didn't know what he was talking about (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDQ2h4hrors&feature=fvsr) [Warning: Profanity].

Andre the Giant has a YouTube!? Cool!

[Bunny]

I sympathize with this girl and feel the urge to give her a plate of cupcakes.

Edit: ahahahahahah

"There's no point in attacking him over appearance"

"cause i'm a giant cow who keeps looking at this delicious chocolate cake i'm going to consume once i'm done with my ignorant and pointless video blog."

[Boney King]

Yeah, but Stephen King didn't know what he was talking about (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDQ2h4hrors&feature=fvsr) [Warning: Profanity].
Haha I stumbled across this fat cow a while ago. Too hilarious.

[Timekeeper]

5. VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE
They Burn *glares*

Vampires can't enter a building without permission.

They don't have a reflection, nor can they have a photo taken...

The movie, wasn't great, but apparently the books are actually pretty good. The main trouble with it, apart from the gross disregard for tradition, is the obsession people have had for it...

[Crimson]

Yeah, but Stephen King didn't know what he was talking about (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDQ2h4hrors&feature=fvsr) [Warning: Profanity].


Jesus....is that even a girl human?

[Raistlin]

The movie, wasn't great, but apparently the books are actually pretty good.

According to who, exactly?

[demondude]

YouTube - i hate the fact that i convinced myself to post this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxFA_SBptwA&feature=channel)

Sorry, but lol.

[The Jamie Star Scenario]

http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4875/reviewnosferatu.jpg

Edit: Was just watching those youtube videos and that fat chick is talking about the sexual stuff in the book. The anticipation she describes when waiting for sex "should always be there," oh don't worry love, it always will be for you. Stephen King is obviously :bou::bou::bou::bou: stirring, baiting an easy community. JK Rowling isn't that great either.

[Raistlin]

Rowling at least has writing ability. The Harry Potter books are well-written, even though they don't particularly hold my interest either (I read through the third book many years ago before growing bored with it) and I agree that the books are overrated. But Stephanie Meyer is just bad.

[Quindiana Jones]

I like the fourth Potter book because I get to change "Mad-Eye Moody" and "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" to "Mad-Arse Moody" and "CONSTANT FLATULENCE!".

I honestly do that when I read it.

[Timekeeper]

The movie, wasn't great, but apparently the books are actually pretty good.

According to who, exactly?

My brother said they were pretty good and he usually has a decent taste in books. That said I haven't read them, so I wouldn't know...

To your word replacing thing in Harry Potter Quin; this (http://www.bash.org/?111338)always gives a laugh :D

[PeneloRatsbane]

YouTube - i hate the fact that i convinced myself to post this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxFA_SBptwA&feature=channel)

Sorry, but I cried aloud with mirth and merriment.

this is hillarios but it makes me worry that the people in this girls life enable her instead of getting her the phsychiatric help she so clearly needs.
If i were related to her in anyway i'd feel humiliated for her. That chick be crazy

[demondude]

YouTube - im getting really sick of the breaking dawn haters!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-turfrcQY-w&feature=channel)

She does the :nonono: face.

[Crimson]

This whale makes me ashamed to be British.


http://i29.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:/255np6s.jpg

[Moon Rabbits]

Am I the only one who is weirded out by the whole imprinting thing? FUCKING FUCKED UP!! It's like "oh haaaay I'ma get with this small child."

I also don't understand what's so awful about being a vampire in this series?? If all that happens when you enter sunlight is that you sparkle then sign me the fuck up. I want to be that fabulous!

Also: The entire thing is some sort of horrible Mormon propaghanda from what I gather. FURTHERMORE, Bella is a horrible horrible role model for young girls.

The horrible writing also is ridiculous. I had to put the book down after the first 10 pages, and I've never looked back!

[scrumpleberry]

Brilliant parody feat. explainations of smeyer's insecurities and mormon undertones (http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html)

Also I like nutty she's great :colbert: I'm not lying, I really am fond of her, and I think people are way to mean for her just for being a rabid fan.

[Formalhaut]

Funny how the book critics praised the first 3 books then slammed hard on the 4th and final one.

Remember, this is all based on Wikipedia, so be cautious...

[Polaris]

I think that the critics like me believe that something awesome would come along the last book... until they reached the end and saw that after all it was all good... Bleh, good is bad!XD I wanted the Volturi to kill at least one and when I ended I was like 'what? not a single death???'

www.cracked.com%2Farticle_17739_twilight-tragic-misunderstanding.html

[Jessweeee♪]

I have a question. If Edward was unable to read Bella's mind because her shieldy thing was covering her, then how come he was able to go through it and read the baby's mind while it was in her womb?

[Bunny]

Because Smeyer is a terrible writer.

[CimminyCricket]

I'm afraid for that poor young woman's life.

[Laddy]

For once, the mentally-unstable, idiotic, and ignorant lard isn't American.

At least God made for some reason.

[rubah]

I have a question. If Edward was unable to read Bella's mind because her shieldy thing was covering her, then how come he was able to go through it and read the baby's mind while it was in her womb?

Renesmee's SUPER OMG VAMPIRE ABILITY is the opposite of her parents

So she can project her thoughts into other people's minds;
and so she is an anti-shield.

Because that's totally how biology works~

[Quindiana Jones]

Renesmee's power works through touch, rubah.

[rubah]

*shrug*

just saying what smeyers said. I never said it made sense :p

[Quindiana Jones]

Haha has she even read any of her books? xD

[Crimson]

Haha has she even read any of her books? xD

Does a cat eat it's own feces?

[Unbreakable Will]

I wish she would die already, Meyers=brain damage to the masses

[Jessweeee♪]

Well you don't have to read it...


:|

[Quindiana Jones]

Haha has she even read any of her books? xD

Does a cat eat it's own feces?

Yes.

[Bastian]

I spent weeks trying to convince my pregnant friend to force her husband to accept the name Auryn.

Ooooh! That would make an awesome name for a girl. Were you successful?

I've never read Twilight, nor seen the movie. I refuse. I'm a bigot against religions I think are stupid. The Church of Latter-Day Saints is the third stupidest religion I know of.

No Mormon Vampires for me, thanks.

Also, an important thing to remember is that ten percent of all the profits the author makes from the book sales and her stake in the movie profits go to her church, which in turn promotes ultra conservative and anti-gay legislature.

[Bunny]

Curious. What are the first two?

[Crimson]

Curious. What are the first two?

Crap.



http://i27.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:/2qn71nc.jpg



epic truth kthxbai

[Mogi]

That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen ever. Thank you so much.

Also, that's a pretty seamless photoshop job.
o.o

[Seraphic]

11. The use of a thesaurus all the time!

YES.
I thought this after reading Twilight and being a little less than happy about the word choice, and then picking up New Moon and seeing all of these words that I feel she didn't know how to fully use or know what they meant.

[Polaris]

Btw has anyone read "the host"? I have it here... but the guts to read it it's failing me... someone told me it was about human condition so just checking!;)

[Cloud88]

YouTube - im getting really sick of the breaking dawn haters!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-turfrcQY-w&feature=channel)

She does the :nonono: face.

AMAZING BOOOOK!!!!! hahaha.

[demondude]

We need to get this woman to join EoFF.

[Cloud88]

Do you really think she should join? She'd be reduced to tears before she even got to make an introduction thread.

Or she could possibly snap and provide us all with an entertaining half hour....

[NeoCracker]

Alright, to begin, calling her a whale and insulting her like that is just stupid, especially when that has nothing to do with why you hate her.

That being said...


For once, the mentally-unstable, idiotic, and ignorant lard isn't American.

XD


And wait, they REALLY sparkle? I honestly thought that was just some kind of joke about them being pretty boys...

[Unbreakable Will]

YouTube - im getting really sick of the breaking dawn haters!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-turfrcQY-w&feature=channel)

She does the :nonono: face.

AMAZING BOOOOK!!!!! hahaha.
Ahahahaa that was epic!
She reminds me of my grandma
The comments on that vid are pretty hilarious as well.

[rubah]

And wait, they REALLY sparkle? I honestly thought that was just some kind of joke about them being pretty boys...

Didn't you see the movie? Even if you could swallow the concept of sparkling while reading, the movie made it infinitely more ludicrous.

[Cloud88]

Does anybody remember the boardgame 'Atmosfear'? She kinda reminds me of the people on the video.

Why the fudge is Bella unique in the way that she doesn't want to eat people?

[Unbreakable Will]

^ I only saw the movie (no amount of money will get me to read that drivel) and it was retarded. The only 'good' part was the part where I was cheering that blonde guy to kill Bella

[Jessweeee♪]

Alright, to begin, calling her a whale and insulting her like that is just stupid, especially when that has nothing to do with why you hate her.

That being said...


For once, the mentally-unstable, idiotic, and ignorant lard isn't American.

XD


And wait, they REALLY sparkle? I honestly thought that was just some kind of joke about them being pretty boys...

YouTube - Stupid Forest Scene From Twilight (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amXphYVxsjQ&feature=related)


They literally do sparkle, Cracker xDDD

[NeoCracker]

Alright, to begin, calling her a whale and insulting her like that is just stupid, especially when that has nothing to do with why you hate her.

That being said...


For once, the mentally-unstable, idiotic, and ignorant lard isn't American.

XD


And wait, they REALLY sparkle? I honestly thought that was just some kind of joke about them being pretty boys...

YouTube - Stupid Forest Scene From Twilight (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amXphYVxsjQ&feature=related)


They literally do sparkle, Cracker xDDD

Oh dear god what has this women done....

And no Rubah, haven't seen the movie, and I refuse to. The previews made it look like one of the most lame excuses of a movie ever. Mind you, this was before that scene.

I considered eventually giving the books a try, but after that, just no...

[Crimson]

We need to get this woman to join EoFF.

I agree, i'm sure everyone reading this topic would love to see how badly I would destroy that whale.

[Jessweeee♪]

You couldn't hear it in that video, but in the movie you can actually hear the sparkling. It sounds pretty much like you'd think it would.

[NeoCracker]

After that, I called up my sister and started screaming at her about it. XD

And yet I still feel myself full of anger after witnessing that monstrosity...

[aquatius]

So is the sparkling thing only in the film or in the books as well? And if it doesn't hurt then why don't the vampires go outside? Sorry, I'm probably asking stupid questions, but I refuse to read these books.

[Jessweeee♪]

It's in the books, too, but you don't get the silly sound effect. I guess they don't go outside because it looks like they're just really really sweaty and they feel embarrassed o:

[Crimson]

Since she's become such a commotion in the topic, I feel the need to post this.

YouTube - sorry (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SipY5NubLPM&feature=channel_page)


JUSTIC HAS PREVAILED.

[theundeadhero]

You all look ridiculous talking about how ridiculous twilight is.

[Moon Rabbits]

No seriously:



I also don't understand what's so awful about being a vampire in this series?? If all that happens when you enter sunlight is that you sparkle then sign me the smurf up. I want to be that fabulous!


Where is the downside to being a vampire in this book? I mean, immortality and super powers and sparkling all seem pretty good deals to me.

[krissy]

Where is the downside to being a vampire in this book?

cursed with bad dialogue
cursed to be into boring girls

[rubah]

You're under the watch of a OMG SUPER SEKRIT SOCIETY that will kill you if you give them away, so they stay inside.

[Breine]

Where is the downside to being a vampire in this book?

cursed with bad dialogue
cursed to be into boring girls

Cursed to have giant jaws. Seriously, look at those jaws on that Edward dude.

[aquatius]

Wait, there are no downsides to being a vampire in Twilight? D: Then how can there be any tension in the plot? I thought Bella was like "Oh noes I love this guy but he's a blood-sucking vampire and :bou::bou::bou::bou:" but now it just sounds like "I'm an emo ho and my boyfriend's kickass and sparkly".

[Jessweeee♪]

Here's a summary of the whole series gyrus:


Book 1: YAY PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND BUT OH NO THERE'S ANOTHER VAMPIRE THAT WANTS TO EAT ME D:
Book 2: OH NO PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME I THINK I WILL LEAD MY FRIEND ON AND OH NO HE'S A WEREWOLF AND VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES DON'T GET ALONG D:
Book 3: OH NO I LOVE MY PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND MORE THAN I LOVE MY WEREWOLF FRIEND BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THEY DON'T GET ALONG AND oh there's some new vampires trying to beat us up or something BUT WHO CARES THIS IS A TERRIBLE DILEMMA ;_;
Book 4: BABY

[Crimson]

Here's a summary of the whole series gyrus:


Book 1: YAY PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND BUT OH NO THERE'S ANOTHER VAMPIRE THAT WANTS TO EAT ME D:
Book 2: OH NO PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME I THINK I WILL LEAD MY FRIEND ON AND OH NO HE'S A WEREWOLF AND VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES DON'T GET ALONG D:
Book 3: OH NO I LOVE MY PERFECT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND MORE THAN I LOVE MY WEREWOLF FRIEND BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THEY DON'T GET ALONG AND oh there's some new vampires trying to beat us up or something BUT WHO CARES THIS IS A TERRIBLE DILEMMA ;_;
Book 4: BABY THAT MY WEREWOLF FRIEND LOVES AND FOLLOWS AROUND EVERYWHERE, ROFL CP

Just a minor adjusting, but you basically nailed the plot.

[rubah]

See, the conflict is that to be with Edward, Bella would have to leave her family FOR EVER. Apparently her filial bond is that strong!

[Aerith's Knight]

I know nothing of twilight except that people bicker over it like ps3 and xbox360 fanboys.

I wonder if I should read them. :p

[auronlu]

Thanks to you people, I have finally seen a tiny snippet of the insanity that is Twilight. I have never read the books, never seen the films or so much as a trailer, so I got to watch the "Edward is covered in sparklies" snippet cold.

Am I allowed to use WTF on this forum?


I think I'll go back to being a fogey now.

[KentaRawr!]

Someone recommended one of those books to me once.

Or maybe they recommended Eragon. I've forgotten. :rolleyes2

[Moon Rabbits]

Someone recommended one of those books to me once.

Or maybe they recommended Eragon. I've forgotten. :rolleyes2

Both horrible choices anyway.

[Freya]

Eargon sucks. Eldest is a little bit better. Brisigr is much better. Grows with the writer I guess?

But with Smeyers, it doesn't. It stays the same horribleness.

[Værn]

I have a strong urge to write a vampire story.
I'll have a girl fall in love with the vampire in the first book; then the second book will end with the vampire sucking her dry, killing her family and all of her friends, turning them all into vampire spawns, sending them all on a suicide mission to attack the headquarters of an organization of vampire hunters, and killing any hunters who happen to survive himself, leaving him without enemies and making him one of the single most powerful beings in the world.

It will have a happy ending for everyone that matters :D

[VexNet]

now now guys, Twilight isn't that much of a bad movie.. It's actually quite a funny film!

That is.. if you're watching the Rifftrax version of Twilight (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFSn5rs70Rc). Otherwise, just keep it far, far away from me.

[tori_birdie]

Twilight. I thought it was ok at the beginning, then it just went downhill. Don't even get me STARTED on the other books, especially the last one. The last one mad me so mad, and it had so many grammar errors...

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

<a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/10/12/"><img src="http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/675414490_3mN9N-L.jpg" title="Well done." border="0"></a>

[NeoCracker]

i just barely read that at Penny Arcade before coming here. XD

[scrumpleberry]

I love bella in that she's so freaking accurate xDD

[Markus. D]

[Penny Arcade comic]

xDDDD

[Unbreakable Will]

^ I only saw the movie (no amount of money will get me to read that drivel) and it was retarded. The only 'good' part was the part where I was cheering that blonde guy to kill Bella
I'm afraid I have to renounce this statement...Nikki con'd me into reading not just twilight but the whole series...my dignity is gone...

[drotato]

I DIDN'T CON YOU INTO IT. WE MADE A DEAL DAMMIT, AND YOU LIKED IT. D<

YOU LOOOOOVED IT. >D

[Unbreakable Will]

I DIDN'T CON YOU INTO IT. WE MADE A DEAL DAMMIT, AND YOU LIKED IT. D<

YOU LOOOOOVED IT. >D
The deal was if I read The Twilight series she'd read the Inheritance Cycle (Eragon-Brisingr) They weren't as bad as I thought they'd be.

[Marshall Banana]

I can't wait to see New Moon! I hope that it's at least half as funny as Twilight.

[Bunny]

I can't wait to see New Moon! I hope that it's at least half as funny as Twilight.

I am currently estimating the level of funny as at least three times the level of Twilight. This takes into account the hilarity of the plot as well as the bad acting and seriously tacky transformation of boy-to-wolf.

[Marshall Banana]

I can't wait to see New Moon! I hope that it's at least half as funny as Twilight.

I am currently estimating the level of funny as at least three times the level of Twilight. This takes into account the hilarity of the plot as well as the bad acting and seriously tacky transformation of boy-to-wolf.
I love when, in one of the trailers, Jasper is suddenly running in slow motion toward the camera with the same wide-eyed look he always has. :kaolaugh:

[Agrias]

I have to deal with eric working on the set of twilight (he's worked at least 2 days on each movie) and seriously, they suck assballs.

[Shlup]

The new movie looks pretty good. Way more crisp than the first one.

The Jasper running thing is lol.

[guffman]

Well, its time for me to put my two cents in:
Bella is a pisspoor representation of a woman, Vampires DO NOT sparkle, I have not and will not read the books, Myers needs to be lobotomized to prevent further drivel from being printed and read by the population because it is lowering IQs
You guys should feel bad for me, Nikki is going to make me watch New Moon.

Brilliant! can we start a group labeled Lobotomize Stephanie Myers?


The new movie looks pretty good. Way more crisp than the first one.

The Jasper running thing is lol.

yeah except for that part with all the faggy buff werewolves walking in a row, looks like a freaking D&G ad for God's sake... :D:D

Hey there, please don't post several times in a row. If you'd like to quote several posts in your post, there's a nifty little feature labeled x-quote right next to the quote button that allows you to quote multiple posts simultaneously. Cheers! -Rantzien

[Quindiana Jones]

Well, its time for me to put my two cents in:
Bella is a pisspoor representation of a woman, Vampires DO NOT sparkle, I have not and will not read the books, Myers needs to be lobotomized to prevent further drivel from being printed and read by the population because it is lowering IQs
You guys should feel bad for me, Nikki is going to make me watch New Moon.

Brilliant! can we start a group labeled Lobotomize Stephanie Myers?

I hardly think that's necessary. A lobotomy wouldn't change much. Just make it "Take Away Her Pens".