Ultimata

[Crimson]

World of Warcraft, Reason for Divorce - Addicted gamer loses his wife for raids and levels - Softpedia (http://news.softpedia.com/news/World-of-Warcraft-Reason-for-Divorce-78896.shtml)

I was reading this article, and it made me think, while I dont sympathize with this guy, alot of the time when you hear of guys leaving their wife/girlfriend over video games is because they always pull out the "it's me or the games" card, and you know I can really understand why alot of guys would choose the latter when presented with this.


So that brings me to the point of the topic, Ultimatums, how do you feel about them? How do you react to them?

[PeneloRatsbane]

Ultimatums as a last resort are completely acceptable, that poor chick was just stuck wasting her time, and she gave him a chance, an option, a choice whatever, sad what the world has come to that a person would choose a game instead of human interaction

[Vermachtnis]

Ultimatums as a last resort are completely acceptable, that poor chick was just stuck wasting her time, and she gave him a chance, an option, a choice whatever, sad what the world has come to that a person would choose a game instead of human interaction

His raid mates were probably nicer :D But I agree, she was wasting her time with him. I mean 6:30 PM to sometime in the AM. Come on, she gets some kudos for trying for six years though.

Anyway ultimatums annoy me. Every time I get presenting with one, I tend to pick the opposite out of spite. But that's why I hang out with other gamers.

[Avarice-ness]

Lawl.

Not surprising. I've told my husband before that if I ever divorced him, it would be because of WoW, hands down. After that talk though (in which there was an ultimatium placed) WoW's still what he (and myself) do for fun, but it's now on the bottom of what's more important in the house and in life. :D

WoW's the devil that we love to hate.

[Formalhaut]

Talk about desperate, id hate to be married to a Lvl 56 Troll.


Seriously, that man has issues, I love games and I sometimes stay up late to play games, but only like when Im so close to doing something etc.

[Rodarian]

I'm a gamer but I don't spend insane amount of time on my console.... Primarily I realize that its just an escapist place from me, and just to take some pressure off of me....

Never really did like playing online games and certainly never touched WoW...


She did what was fair and right...


Ultimatums are just what they are..The LAST RESORT of CHOICE; One being good, the other bad....

[Yar]

<3 Ultimatums

I don't feel sorry for this guy. Playing that long is not healthy for his relationship with his family.

[Madame Adequate]

An ultimatum like that should never be a first resort but it's pretty clear that it wasn't for her. I don't blame her for it.

[SomethingBig]

My brother's wife always talks about how when he got Oblivion, he played it for hours upon hours everyday. :hahaha: Of course, he didn't play it anywhere near as much as this guy, and he and the missus still frequently went out and spent time with each other.

[Meat Puppet]

A friend of mine dumped his girlfriend because she required too much attention. He would go to school (game development course), and come home to where she wait for him, and all he wanted to do was relax and play video games. She confronted him about this one day, which is when he dumped her. She had to stay in his house until the next day, when a friend of hers picked her up.
So she goes home to mama; she lived oh, about an 3 hour drive away from his house. She’s there for, I don’t know, a couple of weeks or so? Getting along or whatever. All of a sudden, he begs her to come back, and instead of telling him to fuck himself, she sure enough goes back to him.
Well, the funny part is these days he hasn’t changed. Oh, it’s not really funny. But I haven’t really got the permissions to explain it to you

[Old Manus]

At only 15 dollars a month, he's probably getting a cheaper deal!

[Rodarian]

At only 15 dollars a month, he's probably getting a cheaper deal!

:twak:

[Darkswordofchaos]

At only 15 dollars a month, he's probably getting a cheaper deal!


Girls have a much better cost to value ratio though.

I've played oblivion a LOT when i first got it and my gf said somthing about it but i didnt play it that much and it was only for about 3 weeks or so untill the new wore off. Most of the time i think i would rather play with my GF than with a game :jokey:

[Crimson]

Who changed the topic title to Ultimata?


O_o

[Raistlin]

I agree that an ultimatum should be a last resort. The article doesn't really go into what other discussions there were before she left him, but I would hope she doesn't see it as such a black-and-white issue. It's perfectly healthy to play a moderate amount of video games, if you keep a measure of sane priorities.

[Formalhaut]

Who changed the topic title to Ultimata?


O_o

Have No Idea.

I agree with Raistlin, As long as you play video games in moderation, its fine, but once you become addicted to a game to the point that most of your day is taken up on it, its probably time to get some help.

[Bunny]

At the beginning of my current relationship, I made it clear to my girlfriend that I do not like ultimatums and will not put up with them if given one. Forcing me to choose between two things is stupid. I'd rather just talk about it and discuss the problem, dealing with it that way then completely rejecting one thing or another from my life.

Ultimatums shouldn't factor into relationships. Talk should be all that is necessary to keep one together.

[Formalhaut]

When your husband or girlfriend is a complete addict then its pretty hard to have a reasonable conversation when hes too busy trying to kill that evil Warlord, or whatever they call them in WOW. He won't Listen.

[Avarice-ness]

I agree that an ultimatum should be a last resort. The article doesn't really go into what other discussions there were before she left him, but I would hope she doesn't see it as such a black-and-white issue. It's perfectly healthy to play a moderate amount of video games, if you keep a measure of sane priorities.

If they were together for six years, it was one of those things were she probably yelled at him constantly, but WoW is an amazing thing.
Before I made the "When I divorce you, it's going to be because of WoW" like a couple of months ago to my husband, I've been on my husbands ass to quit or to play less since he started in early 08.

When people play WoW, and are as much into it as that guy is, and my husband was, you can probably tell them you're going to go slit your wrists and they not even budge because they don't hear you.

Either way, I highly doubt that this wasn't a silent killer, where she just hated it and then said "F you it's WoW or me". I know what it feels like to believe that the person you're married to loves a computer more than they love you because of the amount of time and attention put into it, and it's enraging.

[Freya]

I don't think it was strictly WoW's fault as the article leads it to believe. If they were married for 6 years and a game could come in the way there was obviously some problems with the guy/relationship before hand.

WoW wasn't the reason, it was the tool, but not the reason. You can't blame an ax for an ax murderer.

But I don't like given two choices and to pick :/ I like lots of things why to i have to split stuff.

[Dante WolfWood]

At the beginning of my current relationship, I made it clear to my girlfriend that I do not like ultimatums and will not put up with them if given one. Forcing me to choose between two things is stupid. I'd rather just talk about it and discuss the problem, dealing with it that way then completely rejecting one thing or another from my life.

Ultimatums shouldn't factor into relationships. Talk should be all that is necessary to keep one together.

that to me sounds awfully selfish. no relationship is going to be without give or take. and yes, there will be a time where you have to say "hey, its either A or B, take it or leave it". Because they can be two totally different paths that you two are on.

She obviously wanted a family. he obviously wanted WoW 24/7. there is no compromise with those two choices, unless one was to give up their position

plus, talk is cheap, action is better.

[Shlup]

The ultimatum deal BJ and I have going right now is annoying the crap outta me. Mostly because he keeps twisting it to his advantage. Grrr.

[LunarWeaver]

That website is depressing. All the comments are like "Yeah my decade long marriage is ending now thanks to WoW". My dad started playing it and got divorced soon after because he wouldn't do anything else. I got the 10 day trial of WoW and could see how it's fun and all, but I didn't feel like smurfing around with all of it. It was too much work for me to bother with. I can't imagine getting so addicted it ruins a relationship.

Anyway, ultimatums... I wouldn't present one. If he did, I would do whatever he wanted, though. That's how I roll. :moo:

[PeneloRatsbane]

Gaming addiction is a serious problem.
take my brother for instance.
He was a really successful chef at a 4star hotel, he got employee of the year, he was popular with everyone and a real laugh. but over a year and a half ago he quit his job and started playing RuinScape and now World of War Craft, constantly, now he's lost all his spark and has really bad skin, never gets out of bed until 2 ish, and plays constantly.
when my mum who is the sole provider for our family asks him to get a job or to go to college or even to think about what he wants to do next he just gives sarcy comments.
I'm at Uni and i work to help out, but he shows no guilt that he gives nothing to the household.
I miss my brother and its not healthy for him but nothing works. If he would just cut down and fullfill other aspects of life it wouldn't be so bad. Its a waste of time, sure for a bit of fun or escapism or relaxation but when it goes beyond that its hard for the people who care about them

[*Devore*]

I f'in hate Ultimatums.
Whenever someone gives me one I know the choice that they want me to take, but all I think is "How dare you make me pick" and so I will pick the wrong choice.....But then again, I'm not addicted to online games. I always find that they quickly begin to grind and since you can't really complete an online game, theres no end. Where as FF games grind a bit but you know that eventually you will get to the end and complete it.

[PeneloRatsbane]

not sure i completely comprehend the choosing the option that the person giving them doesn't want you to take out of spite or annoyance. I mean if you've done something to result in someone being so frustrated that they give you an ultimatum then why not use it as a chance to reflect upon yourself. Maybe then you could make an informed decision.

Because if you think Ultimatums are lame or immature or something responding in such a way seems to be "as bad" as giving an ultimatum.

[*Devore*]

Your right, it is spiteful picking the wrong choice just to be annoying, but I just can't control myself. But to be honest, the ultimatums im given aren't "Its me or the games" its usually something where I don't care about which route I take...silly stuff really.

But isn't giving someone two choices which only has one right answer similar to blackmail. Thats another reason why I dont like it.

[Blue Harvest]

If someone gives me an ultimatum that involves them then unless it's really serious then I wouldn't choose them.

[Jiro]

If you're going to lay down an ultimatum then don't be surprised if it goes against you.

[Heath]

I don't think I've ever given someone one, really. I can think of perhaps one occasion, but at that point it really was a last resort. I think as a last resort, as seems to be the case with the lady in the article, then they're a good thing. Shouldn't be brandished willy-nilly though.

[Formalhaut]

Agreed, this time at least, a Ultimatum was worthy.

Basically, if your at your wits end, and you've tried talking and you've done everything else you can think of, then by all means you will have to use the U word.

P.S: Who did change it to Ultimata.

[Loony BoB]

I've given them to girlfriends before, but over more important things. For example, I won't go out with someone who smokes. I've been given ultimatums before, including one where a girlfriend told me to stop all contact with a friend because she thought I liked her in some kind of passionate/romatic sense, which I didn't. I told the girlfriend I wouldn't cut contact, if I recall correctly. Our relationship ended about a month or two later, but oh well. Jealousy can be a terrible thing when it's unjustified, but if it's justified, then you should either talk it out or leave them so uh, there you go?

[Formalhaut]

what you should have done there BoB is instead of saying "No I won't cut contact", say "Under No circumstances have I ever had any romantic flings etc with her. But perhaps I could see her maybe a bit less often"

Im no expert, but I would have done that.

Of course, if your girlfriend was a total jerk, then you should have cut contact with HER.

[Rye]

No one's ever given me an ultimatum before, I think, in a relationship. I think that's either because I don't do things, or because I wouldn't listen to an ultimatum.

[Madame Adequate]

No one's ever given me an ultimatum before, I think, in a relationship. I think that's either because I don't do things, or because I wouldn't listen to an ultimatum.

Yeah I really doubt you'd take heed of it if I did, except to be mad at me :p