Omegle - Chat with a Stranger

[Dignified Pauper]

Stranger: hi
You: Quick, we can't talk now, this is bat county.
Stranger: oh :bou::bou::bou::bou:!
You: Please, decide, do we travel North or West?!
Stranger: West
You: Okay! West it is!
Stranger: Hurry
Stranger: Theres not much time
You: We're going! Bats are fast, but our rocket-car is faster!
Stranger: ZOOOOM
You: ZOOOOOOOM!
Stranger: We hit one what now?!?!?!
You: ... dinner?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: what i had in mind
You: I'll take the left leg and the left wing.
Stranger: cool i only like the rigth wing
Stranger: WHAT, WHAT IS THAT?
Stranger: SPACESHIP!
You: What then shall we do!?
You: Friend or foe!?
Stranger: I DONT KNOW
Stranger: Hurry the rays are xcoming
You: ... I say we offer the bat remains as a token of peace.
Stranger: yea
You: If they accept, we'll know we're safe!
Stranger: unless there vegetarians
You: ... the worst kind of aliens.
You: if they are vegetarians, then let's make a pact
You: for every animal they don't eat, let's eat three
Stranger: ok
You: Good.
Stranger: Im happy
You: I'm scared.
Stranger: me to but happy
You: That said, this is my stop. Adieu.

Please, list your hillarious chat logs from: Omegle (http://omegle.com/)

[Bastian]

Stranger: hey watchaaaa doinggggg
You: wondering what I'm doing.
You: I think I'm typing.
Stranger: kinda bored here lol, you wanna have some fun?
Stranger: do you have a cam? ;)
You: What does fun consist of? Vampires?
You: Zooooooop!
Stranger: i got one, it's just, please tell me your over 18, i hate all these children on here
You: I'm 7. :(
Stranger: ok cool, can never be sure, bunch of little kids running around on here
You: blip
Stranger: alright well im gonna show you something on my cam ok?
You: a dinosaur?
Stranger: okay, go to MyWebcamCrush.com - Who's Got a Crush on You! (http://omeglecam.notlong.com), its like omegle but with webcams ;), just accept my chat invite on the left hand side i think, its all free
You: auf wiedersehn!
Stranger: lemme know, im gonna disconnect on here, ill be waiting for you on there, im gonna go grab my one bra i just bought, i wanna show you it! haha

[Dignified Pauper]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OMG!
You: HURRY!
Stranger: what
You: WE CAN'T STAY HERE!
Stranger: you're dead
You: IT'S BAT COUNTRY
Stranger: godga
Stranger: ok
You: Do we travel North or West?
Stranger: i always travel west
Stranger: west coast BAY-BAY
You: We travel West along route 66
You: We come to an old bar
You: Quick, what drug are you taking?
Stranger: pcp
You: Good, I'm taking acid.
Stranger: niceee
Stranger: fucked out of our brains, yo
You: We walk in and the people start morphing into alligator people
You: you goto the bar and order a drink, what do you order?
Stranger: i like it
Stranger: ok
Stranger: gin and tonic bay bay
You: I start talking to a wall.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: i enjoy that as well
Stranger: then i order jager bombs for the whole bar
Stranger: and i use your money to pay
You: you drink your drinks and then we rendevouz at the car
You: We're to meet the Supreme Patriarch of Oregon
Stranger: what
You: We'll gather instructions there!
You: Don't worry
Stranger: you mean inmate # 3438098
You: the wall told me
You: PRECISELY! You talked to the wall too?
Stranger: yes apparently i did
Stranger: jager will do that to you
You: Black outs are a mystical force
You: be prepared, we're entering the mountains of the nomads!
You: A fierce race of sober christians!
Stranger: i fucking love oregon
Stranger: lets make pot brownies with an easy bake oven
You: GOOD Thinking! We can offer them as a peace offering
Stranger: yessssss
You: and once the effects get by, we can sneak through
You: I knew you were the Chosen One!
Stranger: and then what
Stranger: what is our mission
You: After sneaking by the Christians, we arrive at the prison
You: how do we enter this thing!?
Stranger: i would distract the guard with sesame street role play
Stranger: i am big bird
Stranger: he is ernie
Stranger: we are to be wed
You: PERFECT!
You: While you are doing that, I will be Oscar the Grouch
You: wed you two
You: and we'll say we want your honeymoon to be a conjugal visit
Stranger: yes
You: that will be where we club him over the head with a spoon!
Stranger: amazing!
Stranger: then we find The Inmate?
You: Yes!
You: Oh no! We're at an impasse in our passing
You: what do we do?
Stranger: i've got to be unstoppable
You: Do we, make out? Dual? Take the up stairs?
Stranger: i have maggots to throw in people's eyes
Stranger: does that work
You: Yes!
You: You use the maggots on the guard's eyes
You: The guard is blinded
You: We take his keys and roll him down the stairs
You: Hooray, we have found The Inmate
You: The inmate asks you one question.
You: "What?"
Stranger: i feel bad about the maggots
Stranger: that was inhumane
You: you answer?
Stranger: can we give him a brownie
You: the Inmate or the guard?
Stranger: the guard
You: sure
Stranger: that was fucked up
Stranger: ok ok
You: it will help him with his pain
Stranger: so now
Stranger: The Inmate says "What"
Stranger: and i reply
You: yes
Stranger: "why the fuck do Rosie O'Donnell's feet smell so fucking bad?"
Stranger: and he replies
You: "While your answer is admirable, the ability to answer that question is beyond me and is entirely offensive."
Stranger: whattt
Stranger: no
You: He then reaches into your eye sockets, rips them out, and you die.
You: He then rips out my trache
Stranger: YOU LOST THE GAME
You: The end.
You have disconnected.

[G13]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Yo
Stranger: asl
You: No thanks
Stranger: yyyy
You: I already ate
Stranger: huh
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Edit: What's with all this "click this and see me naked" bunk?

[Namelessfengir]

on there what does "sta" mean?

i havent been saving my logs but next time i have a good one a will

[Badge]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: I'm lookiing for a female over 25, disconnect please if you're not
You: I'm 60 does that count?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


BEST CONVERSATION EVER
Why couldn't I get anyone cool like you guys? :(

[Chloe.]

I was talking to an 18 year old male from America and he wanted a naked picture of me so I disconnected. :( I wanna try and get a funny conversation like you guys have. :jess:

[Dignified Pauper]

Usually, you have to start the conversation fast and catch them off guard. BE PATIENT PADOWANS!

[Quindiana Jones]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Christ! There's a bear in my oatmeal!
You: What do I do?
Stranger: who said what??
You: The bear said it wants to kill me!
Stranger: oh no!!!1
You: IT'S GOT A GUN!
Stranger: u need to call the police!!!!!
Stranger: or run
You: The Llama Police?
Stranger: that wrks too
You: I'll do both!
Stranger: yea!!!
Stranger: YAY!!!!
Stranger: u do that
Stranger: teehee
You: Oh bugger, the bear ate the llamas...
You: At least I still have legs!
Stranger: i thought that bears only ate vegetables, fruits and ffish
You: It keeps throwing acid tabs at me!
Stranger: what colour bear is it???
You: Teal.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: kk
You: Though it's fangs are the colour of Ghengis Khans beard.
You: And it has a tongue the shape of a walrus' laugh
Stranger: wow u got ur self the rare fanged ghengis khans, walrus laugh, killer bear!!!!!
You: And it won't stop making inappropriate jokes about teachers!
Stranger: dnt kill it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: I couldn't if I tried!
Stranger: yay
Stranger: just run
You: It's covered in a layer of bulletproof magnolias!
Stranger: of course
You: Besides which, I don't even have a gun...
Stranger: lol
Stranger: just run and let it get tired!!!!
Stranger: XD
Stranger: u'll be fine
Stranger: or u cud give it ur porridge??
You: But it's just taking a kilo of heroin!
Stranger: that works too
You: It'll never tire!
You: It doesn't want to eat the porridge, it just wants to hide in it! It told me.
Stranger: well, theres only one thing u can do now
You: Rescue a badger?
Stranger: write a will giving everything u own to me
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: XD
You: I own nothing but a variety of STDs.
Stranger: tthat works
Stranger: teehee
You: And a tendency to attract bears.
Stranger: i love bears
Stranger: but snakes are better
Stranger: lol
Stranger: aanyways im sorry it had to end like this
Stranger: but b4 u die, theres sumfin i really need to tell u
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: and i alway will
Stranger: so when u die, u know at least one person will show up to ur funeral
Stranger: XD
Stranger: but i must go be4 the bear starts attaccking me
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: and good bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

At the end I decided to see how long they could go on for without my participation.

[Dignified Pauper]

I own nothing but a variety of STDs.

This made me LOL!

[themagicroundabout]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: How long can we maintain? I wonder.
You: How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then?
Stranger: i want find a girl to fuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.

No point mentioning the bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

[Psychotic]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi, i'm looking for a horny female to tell me to jerk off and finger my ass!
You: Jerk off and finger your ass.
Stranger: you f?
You: My name is Harold Tubbs. I like bears.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dignified Pauper]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Quick
You: There's an elephant in the room!
Stranger: what?
You: What is its subject!?
Stranger: oh my god
You: what are we ignoring that we should be discussing
You: hurry, answer, so he'll go away
Stranger: existence of god
You: Whew, he just disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Stranger: uh
You: Thank goodness we got that awkwardness out of the way.
Stranger: i see
You: Anyway, God huh?
Stranger: yeah
You: Do you believe in a god or a God?
Stranger: depends on how u define it
You: I suppose.
You: I define it like this:
You: when my problems show me how big they are
You: I show them how big my God is.
You: And he wipes away them all!
You: With fury and vengeance
You: what about your definition?
Stranger: i don't believe in any type of it
Stranger: so i don't define it
You: That's an honest response.
You: But that's irrelevant right now
You: This is bat country
You: we can't stop here
You: do we go west or south?
Stranger: north
You: Good answer!
You: We head north to an abandoned cottage of cheese.
You: Makes the term cottage cheese very literal
You: Inside, we find a crooked old crone
You: with disabled legs
You: but she walks just fine
You: should we sex her?
Stranger: no
Stranger: we're gay
You: Awesome!
You: Even better.
You: So we ask her for rubbers
You: She doesn't have any
You: And I have AIDS
You: what do we do!?
Stranger: condom
You: We don't have any!
Stranger: we jerk off
You: ...
You: You're terrible at this game.
You have disconnected.

[G13]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sta?
You: Maybe later. I'm full right now.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hi is Phyllis there?
Stranger: yes
You: May I speak with her?
Stranger: no, she's not feeling well
You: GOD DAMMIT!
You have disconnected.

[Moon Rabbits]

Stranger: Hi, i'm looking for a horny female to tell me to jerk off and finger my ass!
You: Jerk off and finger your ass.


And yet we censor fuck and :bou::bou::bou::bou: :confused:

[Quindiana Jones]

I think we need a new filter for :bou::bou::bou::bou:. :bou::bou::bou::bou: and :bou::bou::bou::bou: share filters, so I don't know which people are using. :(

[demondude]

Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: how r u?
You: I am good
Stranger: asl?
You: 70/f/argentina
Stranger: 70 años
Stranger: soy brasileño
Stranger: como estas?
You: soy bueno
You: Mis pechos son como los perros caídos

Nice bit of Spanish imo. :D I'm never going back again though, some of the people creep me out way too much.

[leader of mortals]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: Hi
You: OMG
Stranger: m or f?
Stranger: WHAT
You: THERE'S A KITTEN!

You: >=D
You: GIANT KITTEN
You: NOT A CAT
Stranger: JESUS smurf
You: GET IN THE CAR!
Stranger: I DONT SEE ANY LIONS WHY WOULD I
You: THERE'S Raoul Duke
You: GET IN THE LION!
Stranger: JESUS smurf GET IN THE CAR
You: AHHHH
You: GO!
You: LEFT OR RIGHT!
Stranger: UP
You: LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION
You: *we fly away*
Stranger: Safety?
You: *shot down by a fighter jet*
Stranger: JESUS CHRIST
You: *kitten eats us*
You: *the end*
Stranger: Aweomse
Stranger: *hi fives*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I'm not very funny

[Shiny]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OMG
You: I
You: I just died in your arms tonight
You: And so did this conversation
You have disconnected.

[leader of mortals]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hi
You: How are you?
Stranger: not too bad, and you?
You: good
Stranger: marvellous
You: *flips through small-talk handbook*
Stranger: indeed
You: How's your family?
Stranger: average sized
You: Cool
Stranger: how's the weather?
You: *checks handbook*
You: Well, now we need to experiment sexually, I guess
Stranger: right
You: Sooo....
Stranger: yes?
You: Idk
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 16
You: and a half
You: the half is what counts
Stranger: very much so
You: indeed
Stranger: of course
You: OF COURSE!
Stranger: mais oui, mais oui
You: Arggg
You: French!
Stranger: not as such
You: MY ONLY WEAKNESS!
You: *dies*
Stranger: bon chance
Stranger: well, thats not a good eventuality
Stranger: still dead?
You: haha
You: found a computer in heaven
Stranger: fair enough
Stranger: very resourceful
You: Funny, I'm actually agnostic....
Stranger: I was getting to that bit
You: Wait, no, I didn't just say that
Stranger: you'll get disconnected
You: NO, I DON'T WANNA GO DOWN THERE
You: ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stranger: heaven isn't going to like agnostics knocking around
You: ooo
You: I found a computer in hell
You: wait a sec...
Stranger: runs windows, I assume?
You: RICHARD SIMMONS PORN!
You: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: on a Dell most likely
You: OMG\
You: IT'S AN IMAC!
Stranger: someone must have misplaced it
You: OMG
You: A kitten!
You: Yay
You: AHHHHHHH
You: MY FACE
Stranger: okay..
You: OMG
You: A LION!
You: THERES
You: NO
You: CAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR
Stranger: Hmm
You: ooo
You: the computer changed....
You: Windows 98?
You: ...
You: Well....
Stranger: bit advanced for hell
You: Great, it crashed

[Shiny]

And one last one just cuz:


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I refuse
Stranger: i refuse too
Stranger: soooooooooo
You: You must be a mute
You: And a enuch
Stranger: so do you¸
You: You're currently googling enuch
You: How's the searching
Stranger: hows YOUR searching
Stranger: bitch
You: Learn to internet
You: There is no bitches on the internet
You: Because females don't exist
Stranger: ooohhhhhhhhh i see
Stranger: youre right
Stranger: there is no vagina on earth
You: I'm also right
Stranger: yes you are
You: And even right too
Stranger: and more
Stranger: and more
Stranger: and more
You: If there was vagina there would be world peace
Stranger: youre definitly my role model !
Stranger: but if you have a vagina....
Stranger: youre not
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHA
You: ...
You: I'm going to write that down
You: "If there was vagina there would be world peace" ~You
You: So eloquent
You: I should write a book
Stranger: you said that
Stranger: definitly !
You: Exactly you said that
You: I am You
You: You are just someone trying to be You
Stranger: "World peace with vaginas"
Stranger: i am me and you.
Stranger: and god
Stranger: and Miley xcyrus
You: You are virgin
Stranger: AND YOU ?????
You: Somewhere along the way there was supposed to an "a" but it did't make it
You: I told you there is no vagina in the world
You: Do you not listen?!
Stranger: YOU DONT
You: No that's You
You: God
You: Why must you be so daft
Stranger: yessssssssssssss
You: I can't take this anymore
You: Please read my book when it comes out
You: Btw I'm a woman
You have disconnected.

[erikramza]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: sup
Stranger: hi
You: ARE YOU A ROBOT!
Stranger: m or f
You: i'm a f.
You: for faggot
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Lawr]

Also,
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 18 f usa
Stranger: sta
Your conversational partner has disconnected.True story.



I find that every time I use Omegle I always end up getting some girl's MSN.

and it seems like I still haven't lost my touch. Heh. :smug:

[erikramza]

INTERNET SEX WITH GIRLS.

[Mogi]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: massive
Stranger: wank
You: GOD DAMN IT NOT YOU AGAIN.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: what
You: DUDE, I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T WANT TO smurfING TALK TO YOU.
Stranger: ???
Stranger: damnit!
Stranger: NOTICE TO PARTICIPANT: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to violation of United States federal law. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor. IMPORTANT: If you believe this chat to have been logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I. Monitoring agent observing this chat and quote reference number 8675309. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP address being entered into our criminal database and prosecution. Your IP address has been recorded by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency. Please wait while reference code 8675309 is entered into the database.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Bold = official Omegle text, written by neither You nor Stranger.

The 8675309 part annoyed me >:</>|

[Værn]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You enter a clearing in the forest from the south. The trees grow too thick to pass to the west, and the path appears to be growing dark and dangerous to the north. You can see the sun above the trees, sinking in the east; perhaps that would be the safest way to escape this natural maze. Which way do you go?
Stranger: the eastttttt:)
You: You have been eaten by a grue.
You have disconnected.

*Edit*
Yeah... one of my friends pointed out that I mixed east and west up when I was talking to this guy. Now I think the stranger kind of deserved to be eaten by a grue for not noticing that I apparently have a horrible sense of direction.

[Mogi]

This is extraordinarily entertaining. Last one.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Rape Man does it best.
Stranger: if jesus begged for it
You: WHAT'S THAT IN THE SKY
You: IS IT A BIRD?
You: IS IT A PLANE?
You: NO
You: IT'S RAPE MAN.
Stranger: rape man can't fly
You: His dick can fly all over the inside of your rectum.
Stranger: haven't noticed that
You: Just shows how good he is.
You have disconnected.

[Dignified Pauper]

Clearly, this is a real thread winner.

[Rocket Edge]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: DO YOU UNDRESS MSN _??
You: with my teeth biatch!!!
Stranger: u girl or boy?
You: im a guy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mine didn't go too well.

[Dignified Pauper]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: QUICK!
Stranger: what!
You: The mob is after us.
You: We stole their coke.
You: What are we going to do?
Stranger: oh :bou::bou::bou::bou:
Stranger: panic?
Stranger: smurf ta
You: We already are!
Stranger: im already panicing!
You: Okay, so we have a car.
You: We're in bat country
You: but we can't stop here
You: do we take the paved road north
Stranger: :'(
You: or the dirt road into the western forest?
Stranger: too much pressure!!!!!!
Stranger: erm
You: MAKE A DECISION!
Stranger: paved road!
You: BATS AND MAFIA1
You: paved road it is
Stranger: argh
You: We escaped, but now we're at a cottage made of cheese.
You: There's an elephant in the room.
You: What's the subject?
Stranger: uh oh
Stranger: how did the elephant get into the house of cheese
You: good answer.
You: the house was built around it
You: good thing it's sleeping.
Stranger: thank god for that
Stranger: what happens if we wake it
You: we get gored by it's massive tusks
Stranger: lets be quiet then!
You: Okay, we're going upstairs and we find a bedroom.
You: let's do this coke we stole!
Stranger: OK!
Stranger: *sniff*
You: we both do six lines, and get really messed up.
You: we find eachother attractive but don't have any rubbers!
You: what do we do!?
Stranger: are we opposite or same sex?
You: I dunno, you pick!
Stranger: lets be opposite
You: ok
You: I'm the female
Stranger: we'll be sensible and go out to a shop to buy some rubbers, however we cant resist the urge on the way and shag in the car
Stranger: skip to 9 months later........we are suprised by a baby elephant blowing itself out of your vagina
You: and here I was going to make an STD joke.
Stranger: you cheated on me with the elephant
You: You sir, have trumped me.
You: I lost.
Stranger: haha
You have disconnected.

I love when people play along so well.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi! I'm Captain Basch from Dalmasca!
Stranger: ok good for you ;)
You: Don't believe Ondore's lies.
Stranger: i won't
Stranger: i hate him anyway
You: Promise?
Stranger: promise
You: Good. Spread the word across the country.
You: Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
You: Tell your friends Captain Basch von Ronsenburg of Dalmasca lives!
You: DON'T BELIEVE ONDORE'S LIES!
Stranger: i will calm down
You: gotta go. More people to tell.
You have disconnected.

AND...



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy:)
Stranger: wat up?
You: I'm Captain Basch from Dalmasca!
You: Don't believe Ondore's lies.
Stranger: allright seriously yo can we have a normal convo?
Stranger: im tired of the mad weird ppl on this site
You: What do you want to talk about?
Stranger: lol idk
Stranger: just not reatrded :bou::bou::bou::bou:
Stranger: like that^^
You: Ondore's lies aren't retarded. Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Stranger: allright bye
You: WAIT!
Stranger: ure proolly like 12
You: okay, you win.
Stranger: allright
Stranger: where u from?
You: Mass.
Stranger: kool:)
Stranger: how old r u?
You: 19
You: you?
Stranger: lol 18:)
You: cool!
Stranger: yeaa:)
Stranger: so wats your name?
You: Basch von Ronsenburg.
Stranger: nice name
You: I'm from Dalmasca.
You: Dalmasca, Mass.
You: what about you?
Stranger: um im michelle and nice to meet u:)
Stranger: im from nyc:)
You: Cool.
Stranger: yeaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Peegee]

Somebody on eoff was on omegle once. The stranger goes 'asl?' and he (eoffer) replies 'PG?'

xD

[Dignified Pauper]

haha

PG, post some logs!

[-N-]

marick you fucking rock. i mean fail.

[WildRaubtier]

I had a pretty interesting Omegle conversation a while back. Apparently, some teenager was typing for his sister who wanted to cyber with someone. I played along to see where it went, but accidentally hit the "home" button on my keyboard, disconnecting it. :(

[Rodarian]

Stranger: Hey

Me:Yo

Stranger: Whats up

Me: Oh I'm just floating around

(Stranger has disconnected):eep:

[G13]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I want him alive.
You: No disintegrations
Stranger: luck
You: In my experience there's no such thing as luck
Stranger: hi, i m not horny
you f/m?
You: C'mon kid, let's blow this popstand and go home!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You will come to Alderaan with me if you are to learn the ways of the Force
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i'm a gay boy
You: You will come to Alderaan with me if you are to learn the ways of the Force
Stranger: what?
You: Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough. It is the weapon of a Jedi Knight, a light saber.
Stranger: r u kiding me ?
You: It surrounds us, it binds us, it penetrates us.
Stranger: who r u ?
You: I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dignified Pauper]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: asl?
Stranger: 24 m S.Korea
You: 24 m N.Korea
Stranger: don't kidding man
You: not kidding man
Stranger: 미친새꺄
You: I don't speak S. Korean.
Stranger: 장난질 작작 좀 해 ㅋㅋㅋ
Stranger: 왜?
Stranger: ㅋ
Stranger: 다 알아들으면서 ㅎㅎ
Stranger: 병즨
You: Now you're speaking Spanish.
You: Stop.
Stranger: You must not be N.Korean
You: Well, you must not be white, so you know you ain't right
You: Can I get an Amen?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think he was an Atheist.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hello.
You: What's your name?
Stranger: Casandra.
You: I'm Colonel Nathan R. Jessop - Marine Forces Guatanamo Bay, Cuba. You will address me as Colonel or Sir.
Stranger: ugh.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Apparently, they didn't like this roleplay...



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HOLY HORSE TROTTER!
You: I found you!
You: I think...
Stranger: yes you did
You: What's your name?
Stranger: Mandi
You: I'm Colonel Nathan R. Jessop - Marine Forces Guatanamo Bay, Cuba.
You: You may address me as Colonel or Sir.
Stranger: naughty
You: You better believe it.
You: How tall are you, Mandi?
Stranger: 5'8
You: Five Foot Eight!? I didn't know they stacked crap that high!
Stranger: good one
You: Listen, we've got something important to discuss.
You: My general told me to find a worthy scout to go on a mission.
You: You seem as worthy as any other maggot I could pick.
You: Do you accept the briefing?
Stranger: yes
You: Good, let me strip down to mine then.
You: Okay, that's better.
Stranger: can i strip?
You: I dunno, I mean, I guess, it's a briefing.
You: Anyway, we've got an army of Haitian rebels coming up from that war-torn Earthquake ripped country to request aid of our base.
Stranger: sweet il get naked
You: Your job is to go and give them the "AID" they'll need.
You: I guess that will make your job easier.
You: So, are you ready to here how deeply involved you're going to be?
You: I mean... deeply.
Stranger: very very deep
You: Right. Let me just grab something.
You: This is a requirement.
You: I'm going to stick you with this needly, don't worry, it's sterile.
You: There we go.
You: Dang, you've got nice boobies.
You: Anyway. Your goal is to have sex with as many Haitians as possible.
You: When they go back to their home country, they'll have sex with their wives.
Stranger: i do have nice bobies
You: And they'll all get infected with the AIDS I just injected into you.
You: Operation HIV is underway!
You: Now go!
You have disconnected.


Operation HIV!

[Bastian]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: MOO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hurry! we're being chased by giant vemenous butterflies! do we go east or west?
Stranger: WE GO WEST TO ISRAEL THEN BURN THE JEWSSSSSSSS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


And last but not least, I finally got someone to play along!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi!
You: hello?
You: hurry!
Stranger: bahahaha I love this site
You: we're being chased by giant vemenous butterflies! do we go east or west?
Stranger: NORTH!
Stranger: GO NORTH
You: oh! excelent!
You: north we go!
You: do you have a can of raid on you?
Stranger: NO BUT I HAVE PAM!
You: the road ends in a cliff, what do we do?
You: I think that would just make the butterflies slippery, want to give it a try?
Stranger: YEA!
You: what happened?
Stranger: HERE YOU DO IT
You: okay!
You: *spray*
You: they transformed into vampire bats! even worse! what do we do?
You: run! fast
You: there's a house up ahead!
Stranger: LETS GO IN!
You: open the door!
You: what do you see inside?
Stranger: GRANDMA!! WITH COOKIES!
You: gradma!
You: I love her cookies!
You: what kind did she make you?
Stranger: chocalate chip!
You: wait a minute . . . grandma has fangs . . . and is very hairy . . .
Stranger: my favourite!
You: ah!
You: that's not gradma!
Stranger: OH NO!
Stranger: THAT NOT GRANDMA THATS GRANDPA!
You: gradpa! where did you get those fangs.
You: I can't hear him, what did he say?
Stranger: HE SAID. FROM OLD SAINT NICOLOS.
You: for xmas? rad. I just got a lousy video game.
You: oh no!
Stranger: I got a chainsaw!
You: the vampire bats broke through the window!
You: give me the saw to take care of grandpa, you take care of the bats!
Stranger: OHK!
Stranger: ill give it the cookies!
You: when I cut through grandpa, both halves grew into a seperate halfsized grandpa! what do I do?
You: the bats died! that worked! good job! help me with grandpa!
Stranger: OHK!
Stranger: think quick !!! OH HE HATES WHEN GRANDMA NAGS HIM.!
You: oh!
Stranger: TELL HIM TO DO SOMETHING
You: "hey, grandpa, clean the garage!"
You: grandpa, take out the trash! now!
Stranger: hes melting!
You: grandpa, don't leave your dishes everywhere with half-eaten food!
You: he's a puddle of goo now!
You: we did it!
You: *highfive*
You: but I have something important to tell you:
Stranger: What is it
You: one of those bats bit me. I need your blood.
Stranger: NOOOO!!!!!
You: rawwwwwwwr!
Stranger: *DEAD*
You: wait! I was only kidding!
Stranger: *ALIVE*
You: whew!
You: that was scary for a minute there!
You: someone's knocking on the door!
Stranger: Who Could It Be?
Stranger: *opens door*
You: the loch ness monster!
Stranger: Oh No!
Stranger: Give Him A Beann!
You: "got tree fiddy" it asks
You: a bean?
You: green or lima?
You: or mister?
Stranger: LIMA
You: I don't have any lima beans!
You: check the kitchen!
Stranger: THERES LIMA BEANS!
Stranger: WERE SAVED!
You: woot!
You: thank the gods!
You: give him some!
Stranger: *gives them to him*
You: "thanks" it said and swam away.
You: well, that was easy.
Stranger: Yea.
You: I'm exhausted. wanna go tan on the beach?
Stranger: Oh yes.
You: which way to the ocean? east or west?
Stranger: SOUTH.
Stranger: We came from the beach
You: oh! of course! florida! I forgot!
You: let's take grandpa's car!
You: what kind is it?
Stranger: Awwhh groos its a ford..
You: ugh!
You: oh well.
You: you drive. I suck.
You: wait! there's something in the road! don't hit it!
You: *crash!*
Stranger: Damn.
Stranger: Sorry
You: let's get out of the car and see what we hit.
You: what IS it? I can barely tell.
Stranger: IT WAS GRANDMA!
You: grandma!
You: what do we do with her body?
You: if my mom finds out, we're in TROUBLE!
Stranger: Bury her!
You: there's a shovel in the trunk, you dig the hole, I'll pull her in.
Stranger: Ohk!
Stranger: *digs it*
You: uh oh . . .
You: she's missing a leg . . .
Stranger: :O Where did it go?
You: if someone finds it, we're screwed!
Stranger: they wont know it was us,, cmon lets go, im already in my bikini
You: what's that sound?
Stranger: I unno?
You: a bear! it smelled the blood! it's got grandma!
You: wow, it ate her in one gulp, but it's coming after us now! what do we do?
Stranger: GET IN THE CAR!
Stranger: STEP ON IT
You: you drive!
Stranger: KAY
You: ah! it's running fast!
You: it's a robot bear!
Stranger: OH GAWD. THATS THE WORST.
Stranger: THE STUPID FORD DONT GO VERY FAST!
You: stupid ford!
You: hey! I found a stun gun in the glove department. take it and try to disrupt the electrical current in the robot bear's cpu!
Stranger: OHK. YOU DO IT. I DONT KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT.
You: okay, I'll try!
You: . . . the bear ate my hand!
Stranger: ONE NASTY BEAR.
You: but the stun gun went off inside the bear and electrocuted it! it's twitching on the roadside
You: we did it!
You: *highfive*
You: and look! you got us to the beach!
Stranger: Yea!
You: woohoo!
Stranger: Timw to chillax in out bikinis!
Stranger: time our*
You: I forgot mine. :(
Stranger: Thats ok!
You: oh! it's nude beach!
You: yeay!
Stranger: Great!
You: The End
You have disconnected.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: STAR
You: that's what she said.
Stranger: RAMIREZ OPEN FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee
Stranger: TAke point
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: OMG THIS GUY IS A NEWFAG
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: did you noticed that you just insult yourself?
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: WERE OSCAR MIKE
You: that's what she said.
Stranger: IM A HUGE FAGGOT PLEASE RAPE MY FACE
You: that's what she said.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I am a legitimate 22 year old female looking to trade pics with another sexy girl
You: that's what she said.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dignified Pauper]

BAHAHA! Great!



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: Hey.
Stranger: Asl?
You: No.
You: We're going to play a game.
You: Truth or Truth.
Stranger: ?
You: pick one, Truth or Truth?
Stranger: Lol truth
You: How many times have you had sex?
Stranger: 0
You: Wow, honest answer.
You: your turn.
Stranger: Truth it is haha
Stranger: How old are u
You: 23.
You: Okay, Stranger, Truth or Truth.
You: ?
Stranger: Wow.
Stranger: Why do u even ask
You: I'm asking the question right now. Pick. Truth or Truth?
Stranger: Truth
You: Okay.
You: Have you ever fingerbanged anybody or yourself?
Stranger: Myself? I'm a guy
Stranger: I don't think it's possible
You: I mean, gay guys do it.
You: So, is that a yes or no?
Stranger: LOL I've done neither
You: Okay.
You: YOUR TURN
Stranger: Are u ganna cry cuz I'm leaving?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I cried.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: first
Stranger: second
You: pwnd
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I TOTALLY WON THIS LAST ONE!



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: FIRST
Stranger: THIRD
Stranger: DAMN!
You: wait.
You: what?
You: I... I'm so confused
Stranger: me too
Stranger: i was going for a pre-emptive "third," but you outwitted me by not saying anything
Stranger: well played
You: But you spoke terribly fast.
Stranger: i could only assume that given the rate at which you were able to type "first," you'd be able to get "second" just as quickly
Stranger: obviously, our relationship was built on false expectations
You: Oh... I wasn't even thinking about that.
You: I just thought your were being random and typing fast
You: want to hear a rhyme?
Stranger: no, but i'll read one
You: LAST
You have disconnected.

[NeoCracker]

Stranger: hey girley
You: I wish I had boobs. :(
Stranger: try harder
Stranger: concentratae
You: i can't afford the medication. :(
Stranger: how old you is?
You: 22.
You: I fail to see what this has to do with my lack of boobs though.
Stranger: it doesn't matter
Stranger: how's your ass?
You: Not bad I'd say.
You: Can't bounce coins of it or anything, but nice nonethe less.
Stranger: how are your vagina, labia major, labia minora and clitorus?
You: Underused.
Stranger: how is your cervix?
You: Kind of smelly actually. o_O
Stranger: in this digital age
Stranger: the cervix is more important than ever
You: ...Should I wash it or something?
Stranger: can you reach it?
You: This would be so much funnier if I could remember what a cervix was. ;_;
Stranger: ye be female?
You: Depends. Can I be both female AND have a penis?
I wish he answered me. :(




Stranger: ask me the hardest question you can think of
You: How hard is my penis
Stranger: not as hard as mine
You: Likely, I'm rather limp right now.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



You: Pain.
Stranger: what
You: Tis the only emotion I feel in this cold and cruel world.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Intergalactic planetary
Stranger: hiii
Stranger: r u m f
You: Why hello there tasty morsel, I mean stranger.
You: And I believe your species would lable me as the male
You: I mean M.
You: Do not be frightened, I am but a simple earth creature here to 'chat'
You: Not devour your intestine.
You: That would just be silly.
You: ...DON'T LEAVE ME! I'M STILL HUNGRY!
You: I mean I don't want to be alone...
You: Yes, that is it.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what do u want
You: ...
You: *Eats intestines*
You have disconnected.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Guy 19 lookin for a girl who will let him watch her webcam.
You: I have a penis, thats almost the same thing.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


And take this Shlup and Rubah.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Important question.
Stranger: yes
You: If you find a race of people physically unnatractive, is it Racist?
Stranger: hellz no
Stranger: hahahaha
You have disconnected.

And this is it for me. :p



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ...
Stranger: dont be all quiet on me
You: But sounds scare me. ;_;
Stranger: hows that?
You: I tend to scream like a little school girl.
You: And it turns on the creepy janitor who proceeds to molest me.
You: I DUN WANNA GET MOLESTED!
Stranger: thats pretty messed up
You: I know, right?
You: Creepy old people.
Stranger: maybe if you didnt float about the place in your short skirts and long socks
Stranger: you're asking for it
Stranger: you want to get molest
You: But they look so pretty on me. :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dignified Pauper]

I LOVE IT! POST MORE!

[BarelySeeAtAll]

Stranger: hihi
You: Is it happening already?!
Stranger: no
You: But I can feel it!
Stranger: i don't think so....
You: You know what I feel?
You: :O
Stranger: no
You: Then..but...how....
Stranger: i think and imagine only....
Stranger: i can;t say firmly
You: Oh no..what are you thinking now?!
Stranger: i am thinking that i should ask ur name.
You: Should you?
Stranger: may b.......
You: Are you scared?
Stranger: no
You: why not
Stranger: for what?
You: why aintcha scared?
Stranger: u know....
You: what do I know?
Stranger: whatever u think....
You: What about what I think
Stranger: u can xplain urself
You: You seem to know pretty well
Stranger: no
You: Do you not
Stranger: ya....
You: I see?
Stranger: really??!!!!
You: I THINK D:
Stranger: ok
Stranger: r u there/
You: I think I am O_O
Stranger: ok
You: is it?
Stranger: can i no ur name?
You: M
Stranger: m?????????????/////
You: M, indeed. And you?
Stranger: s.......
You: for?
Stranger: stop........this ur name????
Stranger: full name???
You: My name appears to be stranger
Stranger: but i want to know????
You: whyyyy 8]
Stranger: noting special.....
Stranger: nothing
You: oh o_o
Stranger: but u should tell....
Stranger: do u want to tell or not?
You: I might
Stranger: tell reality
Stranger: tell...
You: Oh but reality knows
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i think u don't want to taltk any long
You: Awww don't get all emo
Stranger: i am going....
Stranger: so tell......
You: Farewell then

And then, I disconnected :jess:

[KentaRawr!]

My goodness, this is the most hilarious thing.

[Rocket Edge]

I tried to rhyme everything but this guy never caught on. xD

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: My name is Uzi¨
You: how many rounds do you have
Stranger: What?
You: i personally prefer 32
You: .45 is my weapon of choice
Stranger: Are you 32 year old?
Stranger: My name is Uzi
You: My name is Susie
Stranger: Where u live?
You: In your garden
You: you?
Stranger: Kahoona
Stranger: I can not see you there
Stranger: I have nothing garden
You: I am like the wind
Stranger: My name is Uzi
You: My name is Mulawhozie
Stranger: My name is Uzi
You: My name is Zuzi
Stranger: We be friends?
You: The summer never ends
Stranger: I got snow in my pants
You: Shall we dance?
Stranger: I have no dance with me
Stranger: But My name is Uzi
You: And my name is Boozey
Stranger: Wow, you gotmany name
Stranger: I go school
Stranger: ops
You: I have lots of parents
Stranger: sorry, Skool
You: that is cruel
Stranger: My name is Uzi
You: My name is Roozie
Stranger: cool
Stranger: It almost sound like Uzi
Stranger: My name is Uzi
You: My name is Doodleluzie
Stranger: Now I go
You: Because you must show
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[NeoCracker]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: MMM, Savage Garden
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: Hello there person.
Stranger: Where in the world are you from?
You: THat depends entirely on teh world you speak of. In middle earth I hale from the depths of Mordor, in Shannara I crossed over during the time the Elcrys was dead
Stranger: I live in New Zealand
Stranger: Wellington
You: Here? I'm a geek with way to many DnD books.
Stranger: nice
You: living in the basement of his parents home.
Stranger: american?
You: It's odd how you immediately connect 'in parents basement' to American, but yes.
You: :p
You have disconnected.




You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I want a hotdog
You: I could make so many dirty comments to that.
You: But it feels to easy.
Stranger: should I make it harder for you?
You: You're doing it already. *wink*
You: There we go.
You: That one didn't feel to cheap.
Stranger: no, you're good
You have disconnected.

[Bastian]

Here I tried my best to mimic Dignified Pauper's script, and it all came out wrong:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Salut
You: hurry! it's not safe to talk here! this is dinosaur country!
Stranger: It's okay! I speak velociraptor!
You: please, decide if we travel east or south.
Stranger: I'm like the velociraptor whisperer!
Stranger: South.
You: south we go!
Stranger: Onward!
You: thank god for our rocket-car.
Stranger: We have a rocket---ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
You: zooooooooom!
Stranger: Jesus, I told you not to jump on the gas like that anymore!
You: oh! here comes a velociraptor from ahead. ask it what it wants!
Stranger: Ahem, excuse me sir rawwwrrrr growlll rawrr hissss?
You: what's it say?
You: what's it say?
Stranger: I see. I see.
You: it's eyeing me dangerously!
Stranger: He says that he's terribly sorry but he's just found out his wife is having an affair....
Stranger: with a triceratops!
You: oh snap!
You: fuck the triceratops!
You: wait, that's what she said.
Stranger: He agrees with your statement.
You: and DID!
Stranger: That's what she did.
Stranger: Oh dear, I think we've upset him.
You: does he need our help kicking this triceratops' ass?
Stranger: Let me ask.
Stranger: raaawwww hissss grrrr raw?
Stranger: No, he says he has it under control. Him and a few friends have plans to jump the triceratops after lunch.
You: oh, okay. awesome.
You: holy :bou::bou::bou::bou:! there are giant venemous butterflies heading right for us!
You: what do we do?
Stranger: Eat them.
You: can you ask the velociraptor to help us out?
You: I don't know how to take on these giant venemous butterflies on my own.
Stranger: With butter and a dinner knife.
You: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! it bit me!
Stranger: Crap!
You: I'm . . . . I'm changing . . . into . . . I can't tell what I am now.
Stranger: Crap crap crap!
You: But I know that I want your blood!
Stranger: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
You: Blooooooood!
Stranger: You're gay and sparkly now!
You: And have computer generated abs! Go me!~
Stranger: Now, you've become....
Stranger: *gasps in horror*
You: Suddenly I realize that I don't want to suck your blood at all, I just want to mope around emo-ish-ly.
You: What?
You: What have I become?
You: Help me! I can't see!
Stranger: You....you've become.....
Stranger: Edward Cullen! *screams*
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!1
Stranger: Dear God, WHY!?
You: Wait . . . no, I think that was just bad indigestion. I just farted. I'm fine now.
Stranger: Oh. Thank heavens.
Stranger: I was almost too terrified to go on.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[BarelySeeAtAll]

A thought..what happens if one of us recognises another person's conversation?!

"YOU disconnected?!?!?!"

[Miss_Lulu]

I was talking to my friend earlier, and he was telling me about how he was on Omegle talking to a stranger and then told me his conversation, and I just have to share it cause it made me giggle for about 5 minutes. :D


You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: Name?
Stranger: chun wu at your service
You: Alexander Goldberg
Stranger: sup
You: You know, I never forgave you Koreans for attacking pearl harbor
Stranger: uhh. i'm chinese... and that was the japanese who attacked it
You: Chinese, Japanese, Korean... what's the difference?
Stranger: ...
Stranger: are you serious?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: you know, i never forgave you jews for sinking the titanic
You: That was an iceberg.
Stranger: goldberg, greenberg, iceberg, whats the difference?

[McLovin']

I was talking to my friend earlier, and he was telling me about how he was on Omegle talking to a stranger and then told me his conversation, and I just have to share it cause it made me giggle for about 5 minutes. :D


You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: Name?
Stranger: chun wu at your service
You: Alexander Goldberg
Stranger: sup
You: You know, I never forgave you Koreans for attacking pearl harbor
Stranger: uhh. i'm chinese... and that was the japanese who attacked it
You: Chinese, Japanese, Korean... what's the difference?
Stranger: ...
Stranger: are you serious?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: you know, i never forgave you jews for sinking the titanic
You: That was an iceberg.
Stranger: goldberg, greenberg, iceberg, whats the difference?

That is so PWNED!

[KentaRawr!]

That made me chuckle. In other words, that is worth an lol multiplied by 10.

[Sephex]

This was the best I could do:
--------------------------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m
You: Wat up.
You: You can tune a piano, but you can't TUNA FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Rantz]

I was talking to my friend earlier, and he was telling me about how he was on Omegle talking to a stranger and then told me his conversation, and I just have to share it cause it made me giggle for about 5 minutes. :D


You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: Name?
Stranger: chun wu at your service
You: Alexander Goldberg
Stranger: sup
You: You know, I never forgave you Koreans for attacking pearl harbor
Stranger: uhh. i'm chinese... and that was the japanese who attacked it
You: Chinese, Japanese, Korean... what's the difference?
Stranger: ...
Stranger: are you serious?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: you know, i never forgave you jews for sinking the titanic
You: That was an iceberg.
Stranger: goldberg, greenberg, iceberg, whats the difference?

Yell at your friend for lying to you! That log has been passed around the internet for months. xD

[Dignified Pauper]

New IDEA time.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: [Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: FIRST!
Stranger: lol
Stranger: sex offeneder!
You: what?
Stranger: [Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: ...?
You: What are you talking about?
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: [Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: FIRST!
Stranger: GOD LOVES YOU!
You: OMG!
You: He does?
You: I dunno...
You: He might not..
Stranger: he loves everyone
You: Really?
You: Does he know the things I have done?
Stranger: of course. and he forgives you because of jesus christ
You: ... oh.
You: are you serious?
You: I mean, I always get fire and brimstone lectures
You: My mom tells me I'm going to hell.
Stranger: your mom is not the alpha omega she does not get to die
You: I think she'll die someday.
You: Everyone does.
You: I wish I would just die.
You: I'm going to kill myself.
Stranger: why?
You: I'm a terrible person.
Stranger: why would you do that?? what do you think you did to deserve that?
You: I shouldn't even be on here.
You: I'm just a bad person.
You: I should just go.
You: Okay, I'm gonna go.
Stranger: please dont
You: I have to.
Stranger: i like talking to you
You: No you don't.
You: a/s/l?
Stranger: pleaseeee!!
Stranger: you first :)
You: but I asked first.
You: 42/m/MN
Stranger: 36 f CA
You: Oh...
You: I really want to go now.
You: I don't like old hoes.
You: LAST
You have disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: [Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: Hi.
Stranger: hi
You: What's going on?
Stranger: im a little erect
You: oh?
You: a/s/l?
Stranger: 15 male australia
You: oh... too bad you're so far away
You: 29/m/states
Stranger: that doesnt matter
You: yeah it does
Stranger: cyber?
Stranger: webcam?
You: gurl, i be molestin' your ass for real, :bou::bou::bou::bou:, you ain't got nuttin.
You: don't come messin' round here no mo'
Stranger: hahaha classic
Stranger: i am chris hansen
Stranger: mofo
You: OMG!
You: I met you last year!
You: RemembeR?
You: We met like 3 times...
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: you were the one with the excuse
You: How are you buddy?
Stranger: if i came here to rape her. i would have had a shower. look i havent had a shower
Stranger: your a dumb :bou::bou::bou::bou:
Stranger: im great
You: you're just jealous
You: hehehe
Stranger: how are you? meetingrandom kids at houses again?
Stranger: and me coming out and suprising you
You: OMG! You don't even WANT to know.
You: actually, YOU DO!
Stranger: yeah and so does everyone else in america
You: Or else you won't get ratings
Stranger: there are so many people
Stranger: its alarming
You: Listen, if I tell you, can you get me a job as a youth counselor?
Stranger: yeah that should be fine
You: good.
Stranger: perhaps even a youth minister in a church
You: No.
You: Can't do that.
You: I goto confession too much
You: God forgave me
You: Why can't you?
Stranger: because you raped me when i was a little boy
Stranger: and my ass is still fucking sore
You: I'm not THAT old.
You: Not rape when it's molestation.
Stranger: can i ask a question. just out of character haha. but why start with that (Omegle must make you alert etc...)?
Stranger: what does it usually lead too
You: I mean, someone else did it...
Stranger: pretty much this?
You: and it was hillarious
You: well, sometimes I start "FIRST"
You: or...
You: sometimes I do "We can't stop here, it's bat country. Do we go North or East?"
Stranger: hahaha right
You: the more creative the better!
Stranger: but how many disconnects do you get straight away?
You: SO MANY!
You: It's amazing.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: why would people believe it
You: They are stupid
Stranger: when its like a unregistered chat line
You: well, watch this: FBI
Stranger: it clearly isnt true
You: did you see the little messagE?
Stranger: that one is awesome
You: i know!
Stranger: im copying that haha
You: it auto stamps something else
You: just typing FBI does it
Stranger: but it doesnt really work
You: no, it does
You: like, if you say FBI, i see that message
Stranger: cause it doesnt make sense
Stranger: like what context do you use it in
Stranger: well, watch this: FBI

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: didnt work for me
Stranger: how did you do it?
You: Stranger: well, watch this: FBI

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: oh i see
Stranger: FBI

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: YOU don't see it.
You: the stranger does
You: which makes it EVEN better,
Stranger: i see it from you
Stranger: but not from you
You: precisely
Stranger: *but not form me
Stranger: FBI

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: see
You: FBI!
Stranger: so you saw it then
You: yes
Stranger: hahahahahahha
You: and you saw it then
Stranger: wow thats sweet
Stranger: well that is gay
You: watch your mouth
Stranger: ruins all the times i have said FBI

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: SOME of us ARE gay.
You: true.
Stranger: im not
Stranger: are you?
You: I am.
Stranger: true well is that offensive if i say
Stranger: fuck myspace is gay
You: It can be construed as such.
Stranger: or the united states is gay
Stranger: oh right
You: I mean... when you interchange the word "stupid/dumb/etc" with gay... it'd be like changing the same words to "black" "spic" etc.
Stranger: ah right i understand
You: Either way. I think the FBI are monitoring us now.
Stranger: they are
Stranger: i reckn
Stranger: cause why else would that come up
Stranger: they obviously are aware
Stranger: thats pretty sick if you ask me
You: All I gotta say is that you'll someday reach internet stardom!
You: [Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
Stranger: i should get a metal for luring into peados
You: OMG! you totally should
You: OMG
Stranger: hahaha
You: FIRST!
[Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: This will be my new one
You: FIRST!
[Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
You: WEEE
You: okay, bye friend!
Stranger: no wait i have one for you
You: ok
Stranger: its abit of a trick to use on straight seedy blokes looking for cyber cam etc.
Stranger: so they say they are male looking for webcam
Stranger: i tell them im a female
Stranger: same age
Stranger: and etc.
Stranger: talk and then get there email
Stranger: now i copy that email
Stranger: and i start with something like this.. "hi, gay male ehre looking for cyber. please dont speak to me. just add me and start webcam"
You: please tell me you sign it up for spam?
Stranger: a gay man accepts
You: omg, even BETTER!
Stranger: and then that seedy straight guy gets a good view of dick
Stranger: that he didnt want
You: AMAAAZING!
Stranger: i thought of it on my own
Stranger: classic
You: Brilliant
Stranger: would you accept if that came up
Stranger: haha
You: Okay, time to go use these
You: Totally!
You: anyway.
Stranger: ndeed
You: You're brilliant
Stranger: bye
You: Look for this chat someday
You: it will be posted
You: LAST!
You have disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
[Omegle is required to inform you that you're speaking to a registered sex offender.]
Stranger: hiii
You: How are you?
Stranger: im quite well, yourself?
You: Good.
You: a/s/l
You: ?
Stranger: 22 f tx
Stranger: you?
You: oh
You: 37/m/KY
Stranger: haha oh? you sounded disappointed :P
You: oh, just, don't think this conversation will be going anywhere.
Stranger: where do most conversations take you?
You: You don't want to know.
You: lol
Stranger: hahah i figured a 37 yr old wouldnt take it to the same places that most omegle users take it ;)
You: I guess.
You: Anyway...
You: Um, I dunno, I think we aren't really good to be talking to each other.
You: Not really my type.
Stranger: would it be better if i was 14?
You: What?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Peegee]

There's not enough /sci/ posters to troll.

So I am sad @ Omegle.

I however was spamming people looking to ciber yesterday with the following (paraphrased) delicious pasta. One line at a time. Can only pasta the next line if I get a valid response. I won if I could pasta the entire thing.

PSP can tell the time expired when you turn them off from the way they are programmed:

The date is stored in the following julian format:

20103204330000044

That is the 'start date'. When a PSP is turned off, the counter goes up by one second every second. So for example you turn off the PSP for 3600 seconds. The counter will add 3600 to the last date. So you will get:

20103204330000044+20103204330003644=20103205330000044

Or 5:33:44am

Hope that helps

But I wanted to troll /sci/ posters who wanted to ask me how to make apple pie. They want me to invent the universe but I'll trick them good!

T_T

[KentaRawr!]

Every time I try to make a funny conversation, I end up having a genuinely decent one!