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View Full Version : have u ever been hit in the bollock by ur belt?



Cuchulainn
02-16-2010, 07:00 PM
This happens to me so often you'd think I'd of triggered on by now but nope. Puttin on jeans while sittin down, u bring them up over ur knees & as gravity is a bitch ur belt buckle falls down while ur still pullin the jerans up & SOMEHOW the time is always just right enough for that big metal bastard to swing down again & strike my unsuspecting bollock full on. The pain is almost as bad as the 'FOR FUCK SAKE NOT AGAIN' annoyance.

Anyways, belts, buckles, balls. Anyone else been cursed with these Gravity + Motion x Timing = pain shenannigans? It can't be just me. Mind you my belt is huge...almost as big as me bollox.

rubah
02-16-2010, 07:53 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I generally do not wear belts
2) I do not have testes.

Shlup
02-16-2010, 08:11 PM
*hi5 rubah*

Bunny
02-16-2010, 08:46 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you

Mo-Nercy
02-16-2010, 09:16 PM
Maybe my belt buckles aren't big and heavy enough, but even when I do this, it doesn't hurt a great deal.

BALLS OF STEEEEL >.<

Rye
02-16-2010, 09:18 PM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:

Bunny
02-16-2010, 09:20 PM
That is horrifying.

Xaven
02-16-2010, 10:11 PM
Rye. D:

No, this does not happen to me. I don't put on jeans while sitting, nor do my jeans have belts pre-installed.

Namelessfengir
02-16-2010, 10:16 PM
i nail myself at least 3 times a week at work so im building resistance

demondude
02-16-2010, 10:21 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I generally do not wear belts
2) I do not have testes.

Amen sister!

Raistlin
02-16-2010, 10:21 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you

I Don't Need A Name
02-16-2010, 10:22 PM
Never done it.
Sitting down on a bike seat on one of them REALLY hurts though.

NorthernChaosGod
02-16-2010, 10:44 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you
This.


That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:

Oh my... what the... :(

Cuchulainn
02-17-2010, 12:04 AM
Maybe my belt buckles aren't big and heavy enough, but even when I do this, it doesn't hurt a great deal.

BALLS OF STEEEEL >.<

I have a particularly large & heavy buckle on my belt to match the particularly large & heavy penis it helps to cage. Tis Diesel & cost a mighty £30.





I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you

well, aren't we little lord fontletwat, I suppose you've never got your left foot caught in the right leg of ur pyjama bottoms while walking up the stairs with tea & toast & land face first in the toast either have you?....Meh at least I have good looks & big tackle. fu smart ppl. I get accident prone sex, and lots of it

NorthernChaosGod
02-17-2010, 12:20 AM
Nigga, I get more ass than a toilet seat.

And my buckle > your buckle.
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/67/a/AAAAAupTYgAAAAAAAGemsQ.jpg

Cuchulainn
02-17-2010, 12:28 AM
Nigga, I get more ass than a toilet seat.

And my buckle > your buckle.
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/67/a/AAAAAupTYgAAAAAAAGemsQ.jpg

Are you challenging my buckle? Cause that just looks like a knit comb that only looks like a skull by accident.

qwertysaur
02-17-2010, 12:30 AM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:
Everything makes sense now :quina:

Bunny
02-17-2010, 12:56 AM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you

well, aren't we little lord fontletwat, I suppose you've never got your left foot caught in the right leg of ur pyjama bottoms while walking up the stairs with tea & toast & land face first in the toast either have you?....Meh at least I have good looks & big tackle. fu smart ppl. I get accident prone sex, and lots of it

Nope, never had any of that happen to me. I'm sorry you're so clumsy, I understand how that must be for you. I'm happy getting laid without hurting myself or making myself look dumb.

Cuchulainn
02-17-2010, 01:14 AM
Nope, never had any of that happen to me. I'm sorry you're so clumsy, I understand how that must be for you. I'm happy getting laid without hurting myself or making myself look dumb.



:roll2 Have a day off fella.

Bunny
02-17-2010, 01:19 AM
Being smart isn't really hard work so I'll pass

Cuchulainn
02-17-2010, 01:21 AM
Being smart isn't really hard work so I'll pass

No..you're being an arrogant dick. that seems worryingly easy to you too.

Bunny
02-17-2010, 01:23 AM
Yup. I even put it on my résumé.

Old Manus
02-17-2010, 01:25 AM
Wow it's a pair of bollocks!

Cuchulainn
02-17-2010, 01:27 AM
Wow it's a pair of bollocks!

olo

Leeza
02-17-2010, 02:40 AM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I generally do not wear belts
2) I do not have testes.

However, I do feel for you, Cuch. :cat:

Rase
02-17-2010, 03:10 AM
My belt is always removed before taking off pants, so this is not an issue for me.

blackmage_nuke
02-17-2010, 03:23 AM
I wear pants that fit

Jiro
02-17-2010, 03:24 AM
My belt is always removed before taking off pants, so this is not an issue for me.

This. My belt buckles aren't huge anyway, <del>because I don't need them to bring any extra attention</del> :D

NorthernChaosGod
02-17-2010, 04:05 AM
Nigga, I get more ass than a toilet seat.

And my buckle > your buckle.
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/67/a/AAAAAupTYgAAAAAAAGemsQ.jpg

Are you challenging my buckle? Cause that just looks like a knit comb that only looks like a skull by accident.

The Punisher > You

Meat Puppet
02-17-2010, 06:24 AM
Occasionally I will accidentally sit on those suckers, which is quite an experience. Also, sometimes when I’m trying to give people some room at work, I forget I have balls and end up crunching them into the corner of a table (this happens often so I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my lineage).

NorthernChaosGod
02-17-2010, 11:03 AM
OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

Mirage
02-17-2010, 11:39 AM
No, but I've been hit in the balls by the toilet seat lid/cover/(whatever you english speaking people call it) as it fell down after I took a crap.

demondude
02-17-2010, 01:32 PM
:bou::bou::bou::bou:, this thread ruined my turkey sandwich.

OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

I do not want to know about your sagging bollocks dude!

Mo-Nercy
02-17-2010, 01:49 PM
:bou::bou::bou::bou:, this thread ruined my turkey sandwich
That's a funny collective name for them.

demondude
02-17-2010, 01:52 PM
:eek:

Cuchulainn
02-19-2010, 02:39 AM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I generally do not wear belts
2) I do not have testes.

However, I do feel for you, Cuch. :cat:


How did I miss this? You made me smile. Ah I'm comforted by the simplest of things. We'd make an awsome couple.

G13
02-19-2010, 03:37 AM
OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

:onoes:

I've been hit by my belt buckle but not on an everyday basis. Maybe twice in my life. Everything else though has a charted course to the stones. Pets jumping up on my lap, things tossed to me, my girlfriend's limbs while wrestling. Even just a small child running past will throw a tiny fist into my junk. I think maybe my balls were horrible people in a past life. :(

Shiny
02-19-2010, 04:00 AM
Being smart isn't really hard work so I'll pass

No..you're being an arrogant dick. that seems worryingly easy to you too.

Simmer down naw, you two. This is about the most important thing you guys will ever need to know -- how to avoid getting hit in the balls.

Rule Number One
Don't wear oversized belts.

Rule Number Two
Don't be a man.

Problem solved.


That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:
Where is the do not like button when I need it?!

Moon Rabbits
02-19-2010, 07:36 AM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:

:|

NorthernChaosGod
02-19-2010, 11:14 AM
Rye for creepiest poster ever?

Cuchulainn
02-19-2010, 12:37 PM
Rule Number One
Don't wear oversized belts.

Rule Number Two
Don't be a man.

Problem solved.

interesting....I think I'll try the second one first.

Unbreakable Will
02-19-2010, 01:56 PM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:
The idea of this is utterly horrifying. :eek:


Occasionally I will accidentally sit on those suckers, which is quite an experience. Also, sometimes when I’m trying to give people some room at work, I forget I have balls and end up crunching them into the corner of a table (this happens often so I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my lineage).
I had a Construction Core class in HS that had these tall stool/chair things to sit on, it never failed that whenever I sat down to quickly I'd sit on my junk. :(



OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

:onoes:

I've been hit by my belt buckle but not on an everyday basis. Maybe twice in my life. Everything else though has a charted course to the stones. Pets jumping up on my lap, things tossed to me, my girlfriend's limbs while wrestling. Even just a small child running past will throw a tiny fist into my junk. I think maybe my balls were horrible people in a past life. :(
I feel your pain sir.


Anyone ever gotten your junk caught in the zipper? it's happened to me twice, once when I was a kid and the again when I was 18. ;~; That :bou::bou::bou::bou: hurts yo.

Rodarian
02-19-2010, 02:22 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you


Ditto

Moon Rabbits
02-19-2010, 04:54 PM
Rule Number One
Don't wear oversized belts.

Rule Number Two
Don't be a man.

Problem solved.

interesting....I think I'll try the second one first.

You'll be a better person for it :greenie:

doeboyfresh14
02-19-2010, 06:57 PM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:
The idea of this is utterly horrifying. :eek:


Occasionally I will accidentally sit on those suckers, which is quite an experience. Also, sometimes when I’m trying to give people some room at work, I forget I have balls and end up crunching them into the corner of a table (this happens often so I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my lineage).
I had a Construction Core class in HS that had these tall stool/chair things to sit on, it never failed that whenever I sat down to quickly I'd sit on my junk. :(



OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

:onoes:

I've been hit by my belt buckle but not on an everyday basis. Maybe twice in my life. Everything else though has a charted course to the stones. Pets jumping up on my lap, things tossed to me, my girlfriend's limbs while wrestling. Even just a small child running past will throw a tiny fist into my junk. I think maybe my balls were horrible people in a past life. :(
I feel your pain sir.


Anyone ever gotten your junk caught in the zipper? it's happened to me twice, once when I was a kid and the again when I was 18. ;~; That :bou::bou::bou::bou: hurts yo.


obscure reference: There's something about Mary. "how'd you get the beans above the frank?" :joker:

KentaRawr!
02-19-2010, 09:54 PM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:

Once, I was kneed in the crotch. This happened to me!

leader of mortals
02-19-2010, 09:58 PM
I don't wear belts. My booty is glorious enough for my pants to stay up.

Loony BoB
02-19-2010, 10:22 PM
Can't say it has happened to me.

All my problems to do with getting injured down below come about due to incredibly hot women eagerly thrusting themselves towards my genitalia with desire. My big testicles and my big wang. And I'm smart. With big testicles. And it doesn't hurt much because they're good strong built up testicles. Also, I like wood and cars and manly things. Did I mention getting drunk and how far I can urinate? I'm buff, too. With big testicles. YEAH.

Mmm, bandwagons.

G13
02-20-2010, 01:15 AM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:

Once, I was kneed in the crotch. This happened to me!

This reminds me of an Oliver Beene episode. "RETRACTED TESTICLLLLLLLLLE!"

Unbreakable Will
02-23-2010, 03:40 PM
That's why boys should be able to retract their balls inside of them at will, like me. :colbert:
The idea of this is utterly horrifying. :eek:


Occasionally I will accidentally sit on those suckers, which is quite an experience. Also, sometimes when I’m trying to give people some room at work, I forget I have balls and end up crunching them into the corner of a table (this happens often so I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my lineage).
I had a Construction Core class in HS that had these tall stool/chair things to sit on, it never failed that whenever I sat down to quickly I'd sit on my junk. :(



OK, I've actually sat on my sack before. It was a hot summer day and they were hanging low.

:onoes:

I've been hit by my belt buckle but not on an everyday basis. Maybe twice in my life. Everything else though has a charted course to the stones. Pets jumping up on my lap, things tossed to me, my girlfriend's limbs while wrestling. Even just a small child running past will throw a tiny fist into my junk. I think maybe my balls were horrible people in a past life. :(
I feel your pain sir.


Anyone ever gotten your junk caught in the zipper? it's happened to me twice, once when I was a kid and the again when I was 18. ;~; That :bou::bou::bou::bou: hurts yo.


obscure reference: There's something about Mary. "how'd you get the beans above the frank?" :joker:
Haha, let me rephrase that, anyone ever gotten your crank stuck in your zipper? Not your bollock. :lol:

PuPu
02-23-2010, 08:24 PM
I don't wear belts. My booty is glorious enough for my pants to stay up.

this

Also lol, OP seems like he's trying to act like an internet tough guy. ur so kewl dewd

Rodarian
02-23-2010, 08:46 PM
Oh the only thing far worse is if we'd zip our flies a lil too fast resulting in our manhood being 'zipped'....


Now that is painful...

Goldenboko
02-23-2010, 10:52 PM
I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I generally do not wear belts
2) I do not have testes.



I avoid this problem in two manners

1) I am smarter than you

I lol'd

Parker
02-24-2010, 01:15 AM
The worst kind of ball pain is when something just catches one. Like a powerful near-miss. A flick to the bollock by a strong forefingered assailant is much more excruciating than a knee to the balls. The stabbing agony in the bollock itself, spreading to a dull pain the stomach and then the weird feeling in the throat like when you crack your tailbone ("oh man, I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up....wait no I'm not").

G13
02-24-2010, 03:33 AM
Also lol, OP seems like he's trying to act like an internet tough guy. ur so kewl dewd

He's Irish. It's a scientifically proven fact he is. :colbert:

Bunny
02-24-2010, 03:39 AM
Also lol, OP seems like he's trying to act like an internet tough guy. ur so kewl dewd

He's Irish. It's a scientifically proven fact he is. :colbert:

Irish people don't believe in science. They believe in booze and yelling at the sky monsters.

Cuchulainn
02-24-2010, 03:43 AM
Irish people don't believe in science. They believe in booze and yelling at the sky monsters.

AND BELIEVING IN ANYTHING ELSE IS PURE FOLLY.

NorthernChaosGod
02-24-2010, 07:22 AM
How do you even zip... yourself while wearing underwear?




Also lol, OP seems like he's trying to act like an internet tough guy. ur so kewl dewd

He's Irish. It's a scientifically proven fact he is. :colbert:

Irish people don't believe in science. They believe in booze and yelling at the sky monsters.

LOL