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I was Raped by CKs
04-01-2010, 02:52 PM
Something terrible happened.

My name is going to remain confidential, to protect those of which I am accusing. In 2002, I registered at Eyes on Final Fantasy, whole-heartedly believing that I was going to be joining a group of dedicated Final Fantasy fans who just loved Squaresoft and didn't believe that there was wrong with the world.

When I first joined, I remember some individual named Big Ogre Umaro who tried to get me to eat some cookies, and everyone else shouted no. Well, I ate them, and to this day I regret it.

I quickly found out that those cookies were laced with a body and mind altering drug that caused you to lose control of your motor skills and make you shut up for an extended period of time. I was carried off by a giant yellow bird and that ogre, where I was taken to the Secret Staff Forum. There, the things that were done were unmentionable; however, today, they bear mentioning.

I was stripped down to my skivvies and thrown in a large room, tied to a post. Around me, there were others. You might know them some of them. Well, as we were all tied up, we got to know each other very well. What was going one was that the "then" faction of moderators and administrators here, before they were known as Cid's Knights, were capturing unsuspecting newbies and having sick pleasure with them.

We were queued up like depraved animals. I remember one individual, Kyono, who was there. He was penetrated by that big yellow bird in an unmentionable area, where no man should ever be penetrated. It was that exit only. The only trouble was, is that the more it happened, the more he enjoyed it. I think he was developing that symptom where you fall in love with your capturers.

There was also diseases running rampant. Apparently, the staff were all infected with something called the "jibbles" and was spreading it around to all of us. Their goal was to keep most of us until we were died, where they would then celebrate by throwing our bodies in a mass grave and call out prayers to some deity named Cid. Well, some of us were not so lucky. Some of us, they simply dumped in the middle of no where.

This was also an initiation process of those who would be knighted next in the name of The Terrible One - Cid. If they followed through with the beatings and sexual abuses, then they were allowed to be Knights. However, if they failed to do what was asked, then they were tied up as well, and they never escaped. They didn't want their secret getting out. The worst experience I ever saw was that Linus character. What they did, when he wanted to be on staff and failed the initiation... it is too horrible to mention. They impersonated him, and left a long note stating that he had committed suicide and that everything was done for. I remember him chickening out in front of me, and then just hit him over the head. How cruel to think everyone he knows thought he killed himself. Really, he might still be locked away somewhere.

Well, they didn't keep me for more than 5 years, and then they dumped me in the middle of nowhere. Usually, we would become prostitutes, spreading around the "Jibbles" unknowingly. Some of us became thieves, murderers, homeless - this list goes on. Many ended up behind bars due to these crude acts. Personally, I became a prostitute over at such slums like Fool's Gold.

Finally, I said enough was enough. I was so traumatized by the experience, that for years, I avoided the truth and suppressed it from my mind. I thought if I didn't acknowledge it, then it never happened, but I was plagued by nightmares, and I would always have the "jibbles." I remember one time when that big yellow bird jiggled my tits in a dream, and I woke up in a terrible fright. He was the worst of them all. Possibly the direct line of communication between the others and Cid.

Well, I moved around a bit, from Fool's Gold, to God Hates Fraggles, some pink board, and a few other satellites surrounding Eyes on Final Fantasy. It wasn't until I caught a blowing piece of the EoFF Post that I finally just broke down and realized that I had to go back and tell my story.

I traveled a long distance to reach you here. I remembered in the EoFF Post, there wasn't anything worthy of real news. So I decided to bring this to you. I know my time here will not be long, and that I will be sooner or later exonerated. I don't know what they will do to someone who they once captured. I guess they just assumed us to have such a terrible experience that we would be so crazy that no one would believe. I have to say, that almost always, their plans worked.

Not this time. I'm here to say that the Cid's Knights raped and abused me, and i am here to bring them to Justice! Who is with me!? We need to stand up, act out, fight jibbles! We need to bring down this corrupt faction and deny them the privileges that they have asserted. You cannot treat people in this manner. I will NOT be tolerated!

Aerith's Knight
04-01-2010, 03:20 PM
That's just Psy being Psy.

Old Manus
04-01-2010, 03:23 PM
tldr

Rase
04-01-2010, 03:25 PM
Rape is never funny.

theundeadhero
04-01-2010, 03:25 PM
Want some cookies? It'll make you feel better.

Aerith's Knight
04-01-2010, 03:27 PM
Rape is never funny.

http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/rape-is-imminent.jpg

Mo-Nercy
04-01-2010, 03:33 PM
I think it's funny that the post ends with "I will NOT be tolerated!"

Loony BoB
04-01-2010, 03:40 PM
I know who this is and I don't buy it at all. I mean, I'm not going to say anything about who this is, but what I will say is that this whole attempt to incriminate BOU, myself or anyone else is full of failure.

Stick to X-COM threads!

Aerith's Knight
04-01-2010, 03:41 PM
Nobody's buying it, BawB.

Rostum
04-01-2010, 03:43 PM
I wish I were back in 2002 where I still had high spirits, innocent and naive with the world.

Loony BoB
04-01-2010, 03:43 PM
If I was a gambling man, I'd bet money that the person who posted this would, if this thing actually have happened, actually kinda like it.

Bunny
04-01-2010, 04:15 PM
Rape is never funny.

Try raping a clown.

Dignified Pauper
04-01-2010, 05:08 PM
If I was a gambling man, I'd bet money that the person who posted this would, if this thing actually have happened, actually kinda like it.

I think that you shouldn't be making such light-hearted statements in light of such horrendous accusations.

Unbreakable Will
04-01-2010, 06:18 PM
Lies BoB...the Gods of EoFF frown upon your feeble attempts to cover your arse. :p

Christmas
04-01-2010, 06:22 PM
Nah, Life goes on without internet forums. :bigsmile:

Rodarian
04-01-2010, 06:24 PM
I haven't a cookie in ages....:zombie:

Flying Mullet
04-01-2010, 06:48 PM
Lies BoB...the Gods of EoFF frown upon your feeble attempts to cover your arse. :p
Or they take advantage of it. :jokey:

rubah
04-01-2010, 06:52 PM
I like how this thread title works both with the username and with the first sentence of summary!

Lawr
04-01-2010, 10:04 PM
Maybe next year, champ.

Dignified Pauper
04-01-2010, 10:27 PM
Poor user was banned and probably taken to be raped again.

Zeldy
04-01-2010, 10:48 PM
I remember one individual, Kyono, who was there. He was penetrated by that big yellow bird in an unmentionable area, where no man should ever be penetrated. It was that exit only. The only trouble was, is that the more it happened, the more he enjoyed it. I think he was developing that symptom where you fall in love with your capturers.

If this was Facebook, I would like this. bahahahahaha. :thumb:

Dignified Pauper
04-01-2010, 11:40 PM
I like how this thread title works both with the username and with the first sentence of summary!

Clearly, a literary genius.

Moon Rabbits
04-01-2010, 11:42 PM
Yeah, I'm gonna hop on the "rape isn't funny" bandwagon, myself.

qwertysaur
04-01-2010, 11:48 PM
:quina:

Madonna
04-02-2010, 12:05 AM
What the hell is a "capturer"?!

eestlinc
04-02-2010, 01:07 AM
I like how this thread title works both with the username and with the first sentence of summary!

Clearly, a literary genius.

And humble!

Rantz
04-02-2010, 01:10 AM
What the hell is a "capturer"?!

Why, it's the most salient adversary of a capturee, Sir Rantzien!

Citizen Bleys
04-02-2010, 01:12 AM
Lies BoB...the Gods of EoFF frown upon your feeble attempts to cover your arse. :p

We might all WISH that BoB would try to cover his arse, but it hasn't happened yet and never will.

NorthernChaosGod
04-02-2010, 01:43 AM
Poor user was banned and probably taken to be raped again.

So sad. :(

I feel sorry for the poor... person. It said it had tits, right? Poor lass.

SammieBabe
04-02-2010, 02:45 AM
I bet your were asking for it..

Awrini
04-02-2010, 03:02 AM
If I was a gambling man, I'd bet money that the person who posted this would, if this thing actually have happened, actually kinda like it.

If it's who I think it is, I'd agree wholeheartedly.

Dignified Pauper
04-02-2010, 04:02 AM
Yeah, I'm gonna hop on the "rape isn't funny" bandwagon, myself.

This is not funny at all. You people should be ashamed for making jokes.

Unbreakable Will
04-02-2010, 05:31 AM
Yeah, I'm gonna hop on the "rape isn't funny" bandwagon, myself.

This is not funny at all. You people should be ashamed for making jokes.
DP, you know very well that you're only allowed in the Writers Corner and EoEO. :p