The Apparently Depressing Truth

[Shiny]

The depressing truth about playing favourites - Parentcentral.ca (http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/newsfeatures/article/831009--the-depressing-truth-about-playing-favourites)

Was there favoritism in your family? Are you one or both of your parent's favorite offspring?


My mom's favorite is definitely my brother, but it's most likely because he was her first child and he is the only boy. My dad doesn't have a favorite, but if he did it definitely would not be my brother. xD

It's funny because my sister is clingy and jealous when it's my dad, her, and me together. I think the youngest child seems to be more apt at acting out, pining for attention, trying to be the favorite, and competing with other siblings because they were the last.

[oddler]

I think my dad sort of leaned toward me as a favorite which really bugged me. :-\ My mom is happy-go-lucky like me and just really doesn't pay attention to stuff like that, I think.

[Clo]

Oh, definitely my little brother is favored. But I'm a sassy heathen who wants to be an English teacher, and he's a traditionalist who's a Marine. I almost don't blame them.

[Cuchulainn]

Think I was. I was always the wee fucker who could make my ma laugh when she was mad at me. Won her over by random :bou::bou::bou::bou: like forcing her to dance or telling her I wish I was adopted.

I needed this skill when I was a teenager cause I got into many many troubles.

[Fujiko]

My elder brother (which is the oldest of us siblings) is my mom's favorite. She says she loves us children equally, but we can tell he's her favourite, and I say it's simply because he was her first-born (the rest of us siblings agree on that). But my younger brother which is the youngest of us four siblings has been spoiled since he was a baby; that said, it is actually my younger sister who is about a year older than my younger brother who always were the one to want all the attention. When my baby brother came into this world she would do anything for the attention and would get jealous of him often. She's the funny, center of attention type in our family.

My younger brother always looked up to me and we've been best friends ever since I can remember. He still comes to me when we he needs to talk about something. He's quite the reserved, lone-wolf type like me.

My eldest brother was always the rebel in our family; he's been the most difficult to deal with ever since we were children, but it's much easier now.

I'm the calm and collected one in my family; the patient and planning one. But I am also a lone wolf since birth and have always been (though I'm not anti social).

I don't think my dad has ever shown he likes one of us more than the other, but he always seemed to like us girls better than the boys, and he favors me over my sister in alot of things sometimes; maybe because I'm his eldest daughter? I don't know, but that is definitely the case with my mother and my eldest brother; he's her favorite.

Another reason for that could also be that our first-born brother died, and so that lost love was all centered around her second-born son, which would be my now eldest brother. :|

[Lawr]

I'm pretty sure I'm the least favorite (and I'm not even the black sheep!) My sister who is the youngest of four and also the only girl is in the perfect position to receive favoritism.

It's been that way since I was 2 years old so I'm kind of a jealous person.

[~*~Celes~*~]

my youngest brother is definitely the favorite. He's never punished (my mom threatens to ground him and never goes through with it because he uses "but mom" and whines until she gives in because she is very weak) and is allowed to sit on his arse and play video games all the time and when I turn off the tv and tell him to do something, he just yells "OH MY GOSH KARI" over and over and stomps around, but never does anything..

...And he gets away with that, too. :| Also he's rather mouthy and doesn't get punished for THAT either. "Oh that's just his personality" my dad says. "Punishing him would be telling him not to be himself" he says. Pffft.

[Fujiko]

"Punishing him would be telling him not to be himself" he says. Pffft.

Wth, that's not true. Let him live with me for a while and I'll set him straight. :radred:

[Raistlin]

I was an only child for almost 12 years (and I still am my dad's only child), so I can't complain about favoritism. My mom definitely paid more attention to my sister when she was born, but she was a baby while I was in middle school and very independent. I never even considered "favoritism" a possibility.

[Peegee]

My parents treat me and my youngest brother like crap compared to my middle brother. I don't bother bringing friends home, I don't introduce them to any girls, I go out without telling them because there's no point any more. People here say 'lol your an adult who cares' but I tend to think that these behaviours (the lack of closeness on these aspects) were due to long-lasting interpersonal choices. This is usually reinforced by looking at the way my parents treat my kid brother, which I am expecting will lead to the same alienation.

Truth be told sometimes I'm actually jealous of the middle brother.

Although, tbh my parents are awesome and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

lol btw, thanks for letting me rant about something random today. Also stop reading my newspaper!

[LunarWeaver]

I'm a homo, my brother is not, and we don't live in a Showtime series. Take a guess at it!

There was no malicious favoritism, but I crushed enough of their expectations and dreams to make them lean for my brother more than me.

[fire_of_avalon]

I really don't think my father has a favorite. My sister was a trouble maker, and by necessity got more attention than me. I was a good girl. He's relied on me more and we have a similar sense of humor, but I don't think I'm favored.

[Madame Adequate]

Despite being an only child, I was their least favorite. :jess:

[rubah]

my brother isn't speaking with my family because he perceives himself to have been slighted through the years with regards to my sister and I.

I wasn't even around for the first 11 years :roll2 Maybe he's got a point? I don't know.

[Hambone]

My mother has said that she loves us (three) equally, which I think is probably truthful. She gets pissed at some of us (some more than others), but I've never really felt that she had a favorite.

It's probably due to the fact that my family members are largely self-sufficient. We never rely on each other very often and we don't feel the need to be around each other constantly. We all kind of do our own thing and leave each other alone, except when I or my brother need money...I like this because it helped me to see myself as unique, the system of favorites isn't the only way to gain a sense of uniqueness in our family.

[Rantz]

I think my mum cares for us all equally, but she was always a bit disconnected from me and my brother because she probably thought she had little to teach us and few common interests. So when my sisters came along and turned out a lot like her I think she felt more in touch with them. She's as much of a mum to all of us, but I guess she's better "friends" with my sisters.

My dad is kind of hard to read on that and I don't think he has a clear-cut favourite - but if anyone is, it's me. Again, it would simply be because I turned out so much more like him than any of my siblings, and I think he's always seen me as the intellectual and mature one, even though the oldest of my younger sisters is just like me in that aspect. She's a few years behind, but we're practically the same when it comes to personality and behaviour. Ah well.

[Jessweeee♪]

My parents always spent more time yelling at my brother than me, but this was due to our natures. From the time we were born I was a quiet baby while he was a more fussy and adventurous one. He's approaching 16 and I'm 19 and we're still like that. So because he's getting in trouble more often and therefore being spoken to harshly more often he feels like my parents play favorites. The reality is my mom made every effort she could not to play favorites. If my brother was too young or too immature to do something I wasn't allowed to do it either! I think she gave up on that when they adopted two of my cousins, so I was able to drive at least xD

[Old Manus]

bawww my parents prefer my brother because that one time they went to see his football match and I swear they cheered louder

[Shiny]

Despite being an only child, I was their least favorite. :jess:

That is both funny and sad at the same time.

[aquatius]

I think I've kind of become the favourite because I'm the most academically successful, but I don't necessarily think it was always that way.

I'm the youngest, my sister is the middle child and my brother's the oldest. My brother was born out of my dad's first marriage where his wife committed suicide soon after my brother's birth, so my dad married my mother when my brother was a few years old. As a result my brother was fairly problematic because of the death of his biological mother, and even after my sister was born I think he got more attention. I've got much closer with my mother recently because of my success, but I feel that my sister was always slightly ignored compared to me and my brother, but by no means in a huge way.

While favouritism can be damaging, I think the studies mentioned in this article sound a bit crap. The answers given could be interpreted in many different ways and just because kids think their parents have favourites when they don't, it doesn't necessarily mean they suffer huge psychological damage as a result.