Eyes On FF TextsFromLastNight

[Shorty]

I think we all know the rules - if you don't, reference this site (http://www.textsfromlastnight.com). You or someone you know sends a ridiculous text, and it's quoted out of context and entered into this thread.

ready, go!

208: dude, richard harris is effing hot.
480: he's dead, you moron.

[Raistlin]

I had some great ones on my last phone, but here's some entertaining ones I found in a quick look-through part of my inbox:

101: Ur mom is soooooooooooooo hot krissy wants to bang her.

101: I have just seen true white trash. Its like a zoo teehee.

201: Excellent. (Mr. Burns style)

101: Wesleyy alcoiol lol

[Iceglow]

Ok, this is not me or anyone I know. However this made me lawl so hard I near cried:



(562):
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...


I wish that had been someone I know.

[rubah]

Raistlin's 101 is pretty obvious ;)

[Rebellious Eagle]

Ha, the Twilight one was hilarious!
Here are some from my phone:


(609): Uhm okay are they like little kids ur watching beat each other up?


(609): Yeah he may even have been the one doing my piercing haha and the needle ended up going through my face!

[Old Manus]

No idea what the number is meant to mean so

000: im in bed you faggot

[rubah]

the area code, I imagine

[Cuchulainn]

"i just switched on the tv and 'mature' porn is on, boke. Do not like 60 year old tits :/"

"heres me, wha? not yet. Just finished playin football and im properly fucked. Ya dick."

[Agent Proto]

703: fool what up?


... yeah, I live an exciting life. :greenie:

[Freya]

(405) Bring a bucket plz lol I kinda need a bucket soonish :x

(567) omg Eclipse Midnight showing!

(302) Oh ok. I thought some EoFF stalker had gotten it somehow. I might be on in a bit.


:D

[Clo]

This is my personal favorite, everyone, two nights ago:

"Gary Colemon is dead?! I have to say, he was my favorite black midget actor of all time!"

[oddler]

691: Will you call your mom in a bit and get the sitch

691: Yup. We r done but i cant leave until the last kid gets picked tq

[Rodarian]

(0300): "I doubt she'll come. U can tell her...."


(0345): "Whenever you need my assistance, just call me..."


(0300): "Thanks for following me home.."

[Jessweeee♪]

If only my phone hadn't been shut off >:I

[Loony BoB]

Monkey hound smurf u booze hound b a donkey y dont u. Is this towns? I hav u in my address book. Ive been drinkin cheap cider n thort id txt u!

BoB BoB BoB BoB BoB BoB BoB BoB BOB!!!! Hello. I had a dream aboot u. We were dressed as cheerleaders n attackd ppl protesting 4 democractic freedom!Yay.

Im smurfin pissed in ur other room IM smurfIMGM PISSED! Yeah! Blame dan he gave me wine leik omg" wow! smurfnuts, blame the grocer! He kills the purple cabbage!

Ur name is bob. Ur not a slob. U do not rob....any banks. Oh yes ur bob, likes corn on the cob. Always well shod. Yes ur name is bob. Ps. Im drunk.

yeah nothing can stop me now. I miss you guys too and i hate being around these stupid norwegians. P.S. I took your cow.

I am watching porn at the moment so please call back in half an hour or so. Also when you do remind me to buy some new aa batteries as this thing definitely feels weaker than it used to. Maybe watching bestiality just doesn't work for me anymore? :( i need a new fetish, it all gets a bit dull and repetitive after a while, kind of like my sex life lol anyway see you at the usual - remember i upped my rate to 25 per half hour so no excuses this time.
All from EoFFers. Admittedly some quite old.

[rubah]

thort
:exdee:

[DarkBahamut]

(I don't know if I'm doing this right or not."

(847): (http://forums.eyesonff.com/Texts-From-Areacode-847.html)He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. (http://forums.eyesonff.com/Text-Replies-18398.html)

(703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

[Meat Puppet]

The only text I have on my phone is asking to pick up some milk on the way home. My favorite part is that it wasn’t even supposed to be sent to me.

[Vyk]

You won't be hungry when I visit next week

Male friend. I told him how amusing that would sound out of context. And now here it is

[BarelySeeAtAll]

xD you wish! ur as sweet as that bomb!!


that bomb is innocent!!!!

Oh texting rallies. :roll2