Everyone! Come look what I did!

[NorthernChaosGod]

So there I was patrolling the park, much like I usually do, in a lawn chair at the edge of a pool. I’d like to add that I was not looking at titties. I’m super serial about my job, once I don the whistle and sunscreen breasts are dead to me. :colbert:

It was a day not unlike any other day, but a cold wind was blowing. So much so that I had to cover myself as the fellas could cut diamonds just about… I digress. :shifty:

Suddenly I heard a scream! Quick as lightning I sprang into action. I stood up and out of my lawn chair and took the two steps needed to bring myself to the pool’s edge. I used my eagle-like vision (20/20 bitches :smug: )to scour my environment. Then I spotted her. A small girl was barrelling down the slide farthest away from me and at the bottom was none other than the Soak City Kraken, it’s maw snapping at the snack that was about to be delivered to it via waterslide! *gasp*

“Hang on little girl! Help is on the way!” I shouted, and then I looked around to see if anyone was on their way over to her. I quickly realized help was indeed not on the way and that it was up to me to stop the Kraken. Upon this realization I ripped my shirt off, exposing my muscled chest and cold-wind-sensitive nipples. Wincing at the retightening of the aforementioned ‘fellas’ I ran around the edge of the pool, knocking over a radio that happened to be on a table nearby. That’s dangerous I thought, but as it hit the ground it turned on and began playing the Bay Watch theme while I ran. That’s convenient I rethought.

I dove into the pool and went straight for the Kraken. “Not today bish!” I shouted at it (the chlorine makes my tongue swell) as my fist descended upon it’s skull.

“What the smurf man, I’m her dad!” the kraken shouted at me, rubbing the newly formed lump on it’s head. He then caught the screaming girl (which as it turns out she has a really high pitched laugh) and quickly exited the pool, tossing me a glare from his many eyes.

“Oh yeah.” I laughed, “The Soak City Kraken is off today.”

So there I am watching my water at the bottom of the speed slides at work, business as usual.

This big group comes down the slides, they all shoot out one by one since the slides have different speeds. A little girl is coming down the slide on the far left and hits the water. She flips in the water and starts freaking out (those things are pretty disorienting). So she's flailing around in the water for a second and I figure she'll just right herself, this sort of thing happens a lot.

I take a quick scan of the pool and come back to her. She hasn't gotten up yet. Just then I hear one of the kids say "...she can't swim..." My mind just lets out a loud, "smurf".

*WHISTLE*

*splash*

I get to her, grab her, on put her on my rescue tube (the floaty thing, for the slow in the audience). I get her back to the stairs and make sure she's alright. She's OK, just a little scared.

I basically saved a girl's life. What have you done lately that you're proud of?

[Madame Adequate]

I managed to convince a kid she would be able to swim just by jumping in.

[G13]

What an interesting story. I believed every word of it. :jess:

[NorthernChaosGod]

I managed to convince a kid she would be able to swim just by jumping in.

You make my job much more difficult. :mad2:

[Freya]

AMAZING! Yer such a hero :)

[Madame Adequate]

I managed to convince a kid she would be able to swim just by jumping in.

You make my job much more difficult. :mad2:

Actually, another thing I am proud of is keeping you and your colleagues employed. There would be no need for you if dastardly me was not cavorting around causing chaos!

[Christmas]

Wow, I am so proud of you. :bigsmile:

Did you take the chance to unleash the lecher inside you and molest her while grabbing her? :mymelbert:

[Bunny]

Did she pretend to need mouth-to-mouth just to make out with you?

[G13]

I think that kraken fellow would have been pretty pissed if he did that.

[NorthernChaosGod]

AMAZING! Yer such a hero :)
Thank you! :jess:


Actually, another thing I am proud of is keeping you and your colleagues employed. There would be no need for you if dastardly me was not cavorting around causing chaos!
Someone still has to watch the pools even if no one drowns. :colbert:


Did you take the chance to unleash the lecher inside you and molest her while grabbing her? :mymelbert:

Did she pretend to need mouth-to-mouth just to make out with you?
This isn't the Sandlot. :doublecolbert:

[Bunny]

IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF IT WERE

[Christmas]

Jokes aside, You really did a good job! Life is precious, saving one life is saving something precious! :bigsmile:

I bet the girl is grateful for your deed and you deserve a praise or two! :bigsmile:

Now you know how useful you are right!? :bigsmile:


http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:N_OA8oF-Z0ZQOM::&t=1&usg=__ngL3FZeX1wfHvNyCyKESgS1s7r0=

[Cuchulainn]

You're quite an odd wee fellow really arent you Julian.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Ain't nothing wee about me, Cuch. :colbert:


IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF IT WERE
Yeah, probably.


Jokes aside, You really did a good job! Life is precious, saving one life is saving something precious! :bigsmile:

I bet the girl is grateful for your deed and you deserve a praise or two! :bigsmile:

Now you know how useful you are right!? :bigsmile:


http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:N_OA8oF-Z0ZQOM::&t=1&usg=__ngL3FZeX1wfHvNyCyKESgS1s7r0=
:bigsmile:

[Clo]

Julian, that story is hilarious! Any story with a Kraken in it is awesome by my standards.

[Vyk]

Did you lecture her and her friends how they shouldn't be going into water without learning how to swim, or giving swimming safety tips to which they'd reply "Gee, thanks, mr lifeguard. Now we know"

And to which YOU WOULD REPLY: ....... *waits for it*

[Rodarian]

Wow, I am so proud of you. :bigsmile:

Did you take the chance to unleash the lecher inside you and molest her while grabbing her? :mymelbert:


Did she pretend to need mouth-to-mouth just to make out with you?


You guys are the best! XD

[Pheesh]

You left out the part where you flicked your golden, sun bleached locks out of your face.

...and then played electric guitar in celebration of your own heroism.

[G13]

Julian, that story is hilarious! Any story with a Kraken in it is awesome by my standards.

It really is isn't it, Julian?

[Vyk]

"And knowing is half the battle!"

[Hambone]

This thread is hawt.

I'm proud of myself for not being in a relationship for a few months, and not missing it in the slightest. After all, my hand is the only partner I need.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Julian, that story is hilarious! Any story with a Kraken in it is awesome by my standards.

It really is isn't it, Julian?
Quiet you! This is my thread. :tongue:


You left out the part where you flicked your golden, sun bleached locks out of your face.

...and then played electric guitar in celebration of your own heroism.
You knew it was there.

[BarelySeeAtAll]

I believed it until I clicked the spoiler uncoverer :(

I feel broken now. That cancels your heroism for saving a little girls life :colbert:

[Peegee]

I ate a bowl of cereal for elevensies! *hi5*

[KentaRawr!]

There's nothing I'm particularly proud of. I jogged for an hour recently! :p

[Vyk]

G I JOOOOOEEE (NCG is an EoFF heroooo~ooo)

[Shut up, I'm in my own little world]

I save bugs at work

It's good for karma (I <s>think</s> <i>hope</i>)

[NorthernChaosGod]

I believed it until I clicked the spoiler uncoverer :(

I feel broken now. That cancels your heroism for saving a little girls life :colbert:

GTFO my thread.

[Rye]

Managed to dye my hair without getting it all over my face. Aside from a few light stains on my forehead which are covered by my bangs/fringe, I'm completely dyed skin free!

[Vyk]

Managed to dye my hair without getting it all over my face. Aside from a few light stains on my forehead which are covered by my bangs/fringe, I'm completely dyed skin free!

I liberally lube up my scalp's perimeter for just such a reason. Which I've actually become a master of. Not getting drips on my pants or the floor is another challenge though :(

[G13]

Julian, that story is hilarious! Any story with a Kraken in it is awesome by my standards.

It really is isn't it, Julian?
Quiet you! This is my thread. :tongue:

Who was it that told you to make this thread? Who gave your heroic story the imaginative twist? I believe I'm part owner of this thread. :colbert:

[NorthernChaosGod]

You're right, we're share everything anyway. Well... not everything.

[G13]

Yet. :lol:

[Bunny]

You're right, we're share everything anyway. Well... not everything.

We are share everything.

WE ARE SHARE EVERYTHING!

[NorthernChaosGod]

I had a long day, shut up. :mad2:

[BarelySeeAtAll]

I believed it until I clicked the spoiler uncoverer :(

I feel broken now. That cancels your heroism for saving a little girls life :colbert:

GTFO my thread.

..*Dances in your thread* :tongue:

[qwertysaur]

I just beat Lavos during the Ocean Palace encounter, with each of my characters around level 60 (Done in a New Game +). It's one of the ways to get the directors room ending, the other being defeat Lavos in a new game + before going to the middle ages for the first time :p

[rubah]

good job (http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/)

[Vyk]

good job (http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/)

That was an awesome article

[~*~Celes~*~]

Yesterday was my first day of actual work, and I managed to take two cake orders, one of which the girl kept changing her mind what she wanted, and I didn't lose my cool xD Quite a feat from what I hear, but nowhere near as awesome as you Julian :cool:

[Christmas]

Yesterday was my first day of actual work, and I managed to take two cake orders, one of which the girl kept changing her mind what she wanted, and I didn't lose my cool xD Quite a feat from what I hear, but nowhere near as awesome as you Julian :cool:

Patient and tolerance is alway important in customer service! I remember when I was a waitress back then we had a lot of difficult customers and one of my friends just pour the drink onto the customer's face and stormed off. :bigsmile:

It is good that you are patient and put your personal feelings enough to handle such a situation which mean you will succeed in your job! :bigsmile:

[~*~Celes~*~]

Yesterday was my first day of actual work, and I managed to take two cake orders, one of which the girl kept changing her mind what she wanted, and I didn't lose my cool xD Quite a feat from what I hear, but nowhere near as awesome as you Julian :cool:

Patient and tolerance is alway important in customer service! I remember when I was a waitress back then we had a lot of difficult customers and one of my friends just pour the drink onto the customer's face and stormed off. :bigsmile:

It is good that you are patient and put your personal feelings enough to handle such a situation which mean you will succeed in your job! :bigsmile:

Thanks mas-mas :jess: :heart:

[NorthernChaosGod]

good job (http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/)

Yeah, we had to watch a video about that sort of thing in training. Stupid media giving me false information.