PDA

View Full Version : Corrupted Wish Game



razorrozar7
08-01-2010, 02:56 AM
I got this idea from a thread on BZPower (now closed, unfortunately) so some of you may have played this before. For those who haven't here's how it works:

The point is to make the previous poster's wish come true... but in an ironic/funny/unusual way that is clearly NOT what is intended (but please try to avoid creepy monkey's-paw type scenarios, unless you can make it funny). For instance:

Poster 1: I wish I had a pie.

Poster 2: A clown hits you in the face with a pie.

...And after you "grant" the previous poster's wish, you make one of your own.

So I'll kick things off by wishing that I could go to the world of Spira.

NorthernChaosGod
08-01-2010, 05:04 AM
Done! But unfortunately you've been transported to Zanarkand just as Sin comes and wrecks the place. You die.

I wish this wish would remain ungranted.

Clo
08-01-2010, 05:13 AM
This is like "Fortunately, Unfortunately", which my friend and I like to play and is by far one of the greatest games of all time.

But then I come cross out the "remain" and "un" in NCG's wish and it gets GRANTED!

I wish I had a chocobo.

Bunny
08-01-2010, 05:14 AM
Granted. You have a chocobo and it eats all of your clothes.

I wish I wish I had a fish

razorrozar7
08-01-2010, 05:24 AM
Your fish leaves you for another person. Who has a private jet.

I wish that Aeris didn't die. (But who doesn't?)

NeoCracker
08-01-2010, 09:35 AM
She now works at a whore house taking 5+ penis's at a time for a nickle.

I wish all the bad things in the world happen to the one who answers this wish, and nobody else.

Bunny
08-01-2010, 09:55 AM
Granted. However, I'm a little hard of hearing in both of my ears so instead of "all the bad things happening to the person who answers this wish" I heard "I hope the sexy individual who answers this glorious wish gets nothing but good tidings while I take on the heavy load of everything bad in the world because I am a decent, self-sacrificing caring individual."

I wish I never had to sleep again.

razorrozar7
08-01-2010, 01:49 PM
XD A little hard of hearing?

You never have to sleep again... because you've died of boredom while level grinding. Dead people don't have to sleep.

I wish I owned a Taco Bell!

NorthernChaosGod
08-01-2010, 06:46 PM
Granted. The Taco Bell you own is now in a class action lawsuit against all the people you've made sick serving undercooked beef.

I wish my wayfarers hadn't broke.

Bunny
08-01-2010, 08:23 PM
Granted. They have shattered.

I wish I were king of the elephants.

Renmiri
08-02-2010, 05:27 AM
Granted. But you have been captured by a circus and they neutered you.

I wish I could eat all I want and never get fat.

NorthernChaosGod
08-02-2010, 06:20 AM
Granted. Your cholesterol shoots through the roof, you have a heart attack and die.

I wish I was Thor.

G13
08-03-2010, 06:13 AM
Granted. You're thor all over and there ithn't enough Ithy Hot in the world to help.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Bunny
08-03-2010, 06:47 AM
Granted. You have one million dollars in marked, completely traceable bills and the FBI is currently conducting a manhunt to discern your location.

I wish my kidney wasn't in danger of dying.

Laddy
08-03-2010, 04:50 PM
Granted. But I was the one who donated one for you!

I wish EoFF didn't close my corgi threads.

NeoCracker
08-03-2010, 11:03 PM
Granted, however no one ever posts in them. O_O

I wish I was funny. :(

razorrozar7
08-07-2010, 06:31 AM
You become so funny that you are mobbed by rabid fangirls. You get eaten.

I wish I had Internet access more often.

leader of mortals
08-07-2010, 07:08 AM
You have constant access to the internet, however your homepage and background are both set to meatspin, and every time you try to change them your computer crashes

I wish the girl I love loved me back and we could live a quiet, happy life together

razorrozar7
08-07-2010, 07:10 AM
It hurts to do this, but...

She loves you and you settle down to a quiet and happy life... and you die of boredom.

I wish I weren't so damn BROKE.

Bunny
08-07-2010, 08:30 AM
Granted. You're fixed!

I wish I weren't afraid to go out in public.

razorrozar7
08-07-2010, 08:59 AM
You're now terrified of NOT going out in public.

I wish all your base were belong to us.

Bunny
08-07-2010, 07:42 PM
Granted. You're murdered by four assassins and sixteen ninjas. At the same time. Your body is dust.

I wish memes would go away forever.

razorrozar7
08-08-2010, 06:28 AM
Granted. The thousands of now homeless memes find a new place of lodging... your gray matter. You become insane and are locked in a padded room, endlessly repeating memes to yourself and laughing maniacally.

I wish everyone in the world were happy.

NeoCracker
08-08-2010, 05:49 PM
Any time there is a person about to become unhappy, they cease to exist.

I wish I was poop.

Bunny
08-08-2010, 07:27 PM
Granted. You are a feces golem, made of sixty types of feces and a smell only a mother could love. She's dead now though, so you're all alone.

I wish I had a giant mechanical pencil that never ran out of lead.

razorrozar7
08-08-2010, 11:16 PM
Granted. The pencil, the size of a sequoiah, gets out of your control and squashes you like a bug.

I wish trees could talk and weren't evil or creepy. (I don't want to suffer any more sleep deprivation (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel) this week.)

Wolf Kanno
08-10-2010, 08:50 AM
Granted, but they are annoying and have terrible taste. Their constant meddling with record sales allows Paris Hilton to become the most powerful celebrity in the world, she is quickly sworn in as President of the U.S. and threatens the world with nuclear armeggeddon if her pet chihuahua isn't named "god of the world" and worshiped. Her negligence and utter stupidity leads the world to the brink of destruction and a race of super celebrities who are terribly shallow and super pretty and constantly cheat on each other for the entertainment of the rest of us who work in the sweat shops to create their custom high end clothing lines that we are expected to buy.

The human race declines in intelligence until finally our very stupidity crates a massive bleep on the stupy-dar for an advanced alien race who has decided that it is its god given right to wipe out all stupid life on the planet, which leads to the extinction of humanity but our stupidity brainwaves exist beyond our lives and spread to the universe infecting all intelligent life leading to greater stupidity waves. The alien race is forced to utilize a terrible ancient weapon that crushes all space and time of the multiverse into a singularity to save sentient lbeing from the stupidity that exists beyond the singularity. That's why you don't want trees to talk...

I wish I had a moogle.

razorrozar7
08-10-2010, 09:21 AM
Granted, but they are annoying and have terrible taste. Their constant meddling with record sales allows Paris Hilton to become the most powerful celebrity in the world, she is quickly sworn in as President of the U.S. and threatens the world with nuclear armeggeddon if her pet chihuahua isn't named "god of the world" and worshiped. Her negligence and utter stupidity leads the world to the brink of destruction and a race of super celebrities who are terribly shallow and super pretty and constantly cheat on each other for the entertainment of the rest of us who work in the sweat shops to create their custom high end clothing lines that we are expected to buy.

The human race declines in intelligence until finally our very stupidity crates a massive bleep on the stupy-dar for an advanced alien race who has decided that it is its god given right to wipe out all stupid life on the planet, which leads to the extinction of humanity but our stupidity brainwaves exist beyond our lives and spread to the universe infecting all intelligent life leading to greater stupidity waves. The alien race is forced to utilize a terrible ancient weapon that crushes all space and time of the multiverse into a singularity to save sentient lbeing from the stupidity that exists beyond the singularity. That's why you don't want trees to talk...

I wish I had a moogle.

I think that's going to cause me more sleep deprivation than the just plain evil/creepy trees would have. O_o

Your moogle joins the evil Kupo d'Etat gang and rips your throat out and eats your brain. With mustard.

I wish Portal was free again :frown:

leader of mortals
09-03-2010, 09:30 PM
Portal is free, but it is so laggy and so buggy that it eats your house

I wish Rye would post next

razorrozar7
09-03-2010, 09:40 PM
Granted.

Oy, Rye, get off my account.

I wish this thread would stay alive.

TheGlassesGirl
09-03-2010, 10:26 PM
Granted, but now all other threads have DIED.

I wish I was a better artist.

razorrozar7
09-03-2010, 11:07 PM
Granted. But you become like Edgar Allen Poe. You're a brilliant artist, but your mind is so dark and twisted that you can only draw disturbing and/or terrifying images. You hang these images all over your various walls and things, causing no one to want to visit your house. And then one dark and stormy night, your latest creation reaches a clawed arm out of the page and drags you to hell.

I think I scared myself with that one.

I wish I can has cheezburger.

TheGlassesGirl
09-03-2010, 11:09 PM
Granted, but now you're a cat. Nice one.

I wish I had a glass of milk to drink with this Shepard's pie.

razorrozar7
09-03-2010, 11:13 PM
Granted. But you're in Soviet Russia, where Milk Drinks YOU!

I wish I had a complete PSP game library.

TheGlassesGirl
09-03-2010, 11:31 PM
Granted, but you can only play one game now: The Sims 2: Pets!

I wish my next wish after this wish wasn't corrupted. :D

razorrozar7
09-03-2010, 11:47 PM
Granted. It will be twisted instead.

I wish Naomi would check her user CP, because I sent her a friend request.

TheGlassesGirl
09-03-2010, 11:56 PM
Granted, I accept. Prepare for a lifetime of annoyance! :D

I wish I had ice cream.

qwertysaur
09-03-2010, 11:59 PM
Granted. You had ice cream. Not it's all gone.

I wish Miriel would post more pictures of her ADORABLE doggies! :bigsmile:

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 12:12 AM
Granted. She posts thousands. But you notice something strange. Each dog in each picture gets slightly less adorable, until the last picture is of something that gives you screaming nightmares. And then leaps out of your computer screen and tears your throat out.

I feel morbid today. *shrug*

I wish penguins could really explode.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 12:19 AM
Granted. They all come to your house to show you.

I wish I knew why my pug runs in circles before I put his food down on the floor.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 12:30 AM
Nice one! :D

Granted. But now you don't know anything else, including how to breathe.

I wish for a sexy French maid to be my employee with benefits.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 12:32 AM
Granted, except she had a sex change a couple years ago. And "she" tells you ALL ABOUT IT.

I wish this tea had more sugar in it. :|

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 12:36 AM
Granted. There is now more sugar in your glass than tea. You get diabetes.

[I wish I could look at a damn website without opening fifty more tabs of stuff I want to look at later.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 12:40 AM
Granted, now they just open in different windows. :D

(Don't worry, I do that too. Like right now! -hastily closes tabs-)

I wish I had all of Flogging Molly's CD's and not just individual songs from each of them. D:

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 12:43 AM
You get them, but they are all covers of their songs. And the band that covered them is Crossfade.

I wish I could hug Naomi right now.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 12:47 AM
You smurfer.

Granted, but I'm still going to knee you in the stomach if you try to pick me up on the first day of school. :|

I wish my playlist would stop choosing The Beatles when it's on shuffle and just pick another damn band for once.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 12:50 AM
Granted. It now picks your newly-acquired Crossfade colors of Flogging Molly. What's more, it has deleted all your other music.

I wish Pandora didn't have stupid any ads on it.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 12:52 AM
-head/desk-

Granted. Now you pay for Pandora
(That's how you get rid of ads on Pandora. :D)

I wish Mafia would start, because I'm really excited for it. :o

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 12:55 AM
Granted. But it's real. And you're a Suicidal Townie.

I wish I knew how to hack.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 01:05 AM
Oh COME ON. You guys are doing pretty well with these tonight. >:U

Granted, but you hack into the Pentagon's database, and you're arrested by the CIA.

I wish my shoulder muscle would stop hurting. :<

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 01:07 AM
Your arm falls off

I wish that this school year will be a good one

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 01:09 AM
EDIT: Damn, LoM beat me to it.

Granted. It is good... by the leader of Team Galactic's standard of good. Which is to say, he is God and you live in a Crapsack World.

I wish I could find a working Spirit Tracks rom because I is teh cheepsk8.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 01:10 AM
You both suck.

LoM: Granted, but you still gotta put up with me.
Razor: Granted. And then you find out Spirit Tracks was teh suxxxorz! 8D

I wish it wasn't so cold in here.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 01:15 AM
Did it really? I loved Phantom Hourglass.

Granted. You get teleported naked to the Sahara.

I wish that I possessed the ability to enter video games and to exit them again when I wanted and to grant myself all the necessary abilities to be a Hero within the video game universes.

(Closed all the loopholes I could think of :D)

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 01:21 AM
Well, I didn't like PH to begin with. I am being quite biased.

Granted, but then when you return to the real world, you still think you're the protagonist of the game you were just playing, and continue on IRL as if you're still in the game. Sadly, you just got done playing GTA IV.

I wish I had money. >:

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 01:22 AM
I'm gonna answer Naomi's as well, because I'm cool like that.

Naomi: You aren't cold anymore because you are hugging me
razorrozar: You are Cait Sith
Edit: Naomi 2: It's fake and you are in jail


I wish my friends wouldn't move away to college next year

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 01:25 AM
Somebody needs to do something about this post overlap thing.

@Naomi's Answer: Epic win.
@LoM's Answer: I liked Ket Shee.

@Naomi's wish: You get infinite money the day before the worldwide economy collapses and money becomes worthless.
@LoM's wish: They don't move. You do. To Antarctica.

I wish I had a go-kart.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 01:36 AM
Granted. It doesn't come with wheels. :D

I wish I could adjust the nose piece on my glasses so they weren't digging into my tear duct. D':

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 01:38 AM
Granted, now they are tearing into your eye, and deeper, into your brain.

I wish I had classes with all my friends

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 01:40 AM
EDIT: Goddamn it, LoM.

Granted. You have classes with all your friends that last until you die and crumble into dust.

I wish I had the Fierce Deity's mask IRL.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 02:04 AM
Granted, but then you ARE FDL. You stomp your house down.

I wish I had a wish to make, but I'm distracted by this delicious coffee.

(This would be a great time to mention I am a caffeine addict and I freaking love coffee.)

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 02:05 AM
You'll need it so you can stay up all night posting. :D

Granted. You wish that you were a snail. It's granted.

I wish I knew where my PS2 is.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 02:08 AM
Granted. You find it broken, in a dumpster.

I wish my coffee cup was magic and never ran out of coffee. O___O

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 02:10 AM
Granted. It begins to overflow and covers the whole world with coffee. Much much later, the Great Sea in Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks is now coffee.

I think that was epic win.

I wish trash did not stink.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 03:31 AM
Granted, but now everything else does.

Wishes she had a grand boat for this coffee sea.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 03:33 AM
You posted like this was the ^ < v thread. :p

Granted. You are now sailing on the Golden Ship from Phantom Hourglass. But it's made from real gold. Which sinks.

I wish this forum did not keep sucking me away from OoT.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 03:35 AM
Granted. But now we'll play without you and do evil things to you! :D

I wish I could multitask better.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 03:40 AM
Granted. But now you can't focus on one thing for longer than a fraction of a second.

I wish Link and Zelda were real. Oh, and Malon.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 04:02 AM
Granted. But so is Ganon, and we all know the rest of the story.

I wish I could stay on and talk to you guys all night. D:

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 04:03 AM
Granted, but then you have to talk to me all night. :p

I wish I was the richest man ever.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 04:06 AM
EDIT: DAMN it, NCG!!!11!!one1!

Granted. You rob everyone in the world. And then get gunned down in cold blood by Robert Ford.

I wish I had a sword.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 04:10 AM
HA @ Both of you. xD

@ Northern: Granted, but now everyone else is poor and cannot afford to produce anything. Nothing to do with the money now.
@ Razor: Granted. but it's FDL's sword. And you're still normal size.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 04:12 AM
I wish Naomi had made a wish.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 04:23 AM
Granted, it is a wish for you to die, and it was granted, but the catch to that wish is that you came back as a zombie and ate Naomi

I wish I had someone to hold all night long XD

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 04:26 AM
You make your wish and nothing happens, so you end up masturbating all night. :jess:

I wish for Naomi.

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 04:29 AM
Granted. You get an empty, soulless copy of Naomi that does nothing but sit and stare at you with empty eyes. UNTIL SHE SUCKS YOUR SOUL OUT.

I wish everyone was a good person.

Agent Proto
09-04-2010, 04:29 AM
@ NCG: Wish granted, however she proceeds to block you from this point on. xD
@ razor: Goddammit, wish granted. That however, makes you a bad person.

I wish I was a crime fighter.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 04:30 AM
Wow, you're right, you should be Pedobear...

Razorrozar: Everyone is good, but now murdering is considered good, and you are the first target.
Edit: ARGGG
Blues Agent: You fight crime, and it fights you back. You do not win

I wish my last wish was actually granted

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 04:34 AM
Granted. The last wish you ever make will be granted.

I wish for the powers of Spiderman.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 04:36 AM
Granted, you are now a pussy

I wish for respect

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 05:13 AM
Granted, but the respect is stemmed from fear.

I wish my pug would stop being a freaking spazzoid and fall asleep.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 05:22 AM
Seriously, no one could ever fear me. I'm a fucking teddy bear, unless they are afraid of my picture XD

I wanted to say your pug went into an eternal sleep, I really did, but I can't do that to ya. So instead your pug falls asleep on your clothes and drools. A lot. Like 4 gallons.

I wish I could punch a certain person that me and Naomi know in the face.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 05:36 AM
Holy smurf, you predicted the future! He's doing that now. xD

Granted. And I can't corrupt that because I want the same thing.

I wish LoM could punch a certain person me and him know in the face.

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 05:39 AM
lom punches this person and breaks his hand. And then gets beaten up.

I wish to be Pedobear.


Wow, you're right, you should be Pedobear...

/smug

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 05:40 AM
Well, now that I think about it, I think I would rather punch him in the sternum or the ulnar nerve. It will hurt a lot more for a lot longer and I probably wouldn't get in any trouble.

Granted, but then he's still a douche
Edit: Granted, but you are now banned for being too good at it.

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 05:41 AM
Dammit, LoM.

Granted. But you got no water, and your awesome cartoon was canceled.

I wish Ed, Edd and Eddy would come back. DX

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 05:45 AM
None of the original voice actors or even animators are working on the show. It sucks. Worse than before.

I wish for a white van and an unlimited supply of candy

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 05:46 AM
Granted, and it comes with a free Chris Hansen and prison term!

I wish my greatest unknown desire would come true

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 05:49 AM
I wish NCG would've made a wish and didn't diss one of the coolest shows of my childhood.

EDIT: STOP THAT.

Granted. And I know what it is.

I wish I could remember to make a wish.

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 05:59 AM
Wishing is now the only thing you can think of.

I wish for a get out of jail free card.


I wish NCG would've made a wish

I did.


and didn't diss one of the coolest shoes of my childhood.

Hmmm, now I have to ask. How old are you?

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:05 AM
16. :B

Granted. It's a "one time use" only, though, and using it is illegal.

I wish for UNLIMITED COOKIES~

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 06:10 AM
You now have Type 2 Diabetes.

I wish for unlimited internets.


16. :B

http://www.evilscience.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/excellent-frog.JPG

qwertysaur
09-04-2010, 06:14 AM
Granted. You also lose control over your arms and have become blind.

I wish for a pet duck. A friendly duck.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:15 AM
Granted, but he has a Siamese twin brother, who is EEEEEEVIL.

I wish gay marriage was legal everywhere. D:<

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 06:16 AM
You have a friendly duck. He's flies south for the winter after you have greatly bonded with him and never returns
Edit: It is now legal everywhere, but now all the idiots against it start killing the gays

I wish I were better looking

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:18 AM
F'reals, STOP THAT. D:

Granted. But now the ladies won't leave you alone. They won't even let you sleep.

I wish I had an idea for something to draw.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 06:20 AM
Granted. It's the drawing of me poking your face

I wish that, at the end of this life, I could relive my life with all the knowledge I have, and be able to change everything and be a better person.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:27 AM
I still gotta draw that for you, don't I?

Granted, but you then realize the way you're living now is exactly how it should be played out, and you still have to live through all the tragedies that have occurred.

I wish that my hair would grow out again.

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 06:28 AM
Granted, but now your hair is snakes! :eek:

I wish that I had a glass of water.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:29 AM
Granted. It's poisoned! :D

I wish I could do parkour.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 06:30 AM
Your hair grows out again. You become Medusa. You are voted for on Day 0 and killed night 1
Edit: Wow, I'm slow... Hiveminded NCG, though...

You parkour yourself into a wall

I wish I could play an instrument

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 06:35 AM
Granted! Now you play the triangle. :p

I wish I had an electric drumset.

Bunny
09-04-2010, 06:36 AM
You now have an electric drumset. Unfortunately, you had to sell your arms and legs to get them.

I wish ball point pens were destroyed.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 06:39 AM
Ball Point Pens are destroyed. Into your face.

I wish I didn't have to read "The Good Earth"

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:44 AM
Granted. You fail the class, and Mrs. Mast won't be very happy with you. DON'T MAKE MRS. MAST SAD LoM.

I wish I could call LoM by his real name on here, though I don't think he'll mind either way.

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 06:55 AM
You call me Patrick and everyone finds me and kills me

I wish I had a Quina Signature

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 06:58 AM
Granted, but it looks like Quina wants to kill everyone.

I wish I owned Trauma Team. :<

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 07:09 AM
Quina would never kill everyone! Eat everyone, maybe, but not kill!

You get Trauma Team for free! It's actually Meatspin and Rick Roll put together.

I wish I had a pet Moomba :3

razorrozar7
09-04-2010, 07:12 AM
Due to a glitch, you get a pet Roomba in evil sentience mode.

I wish my friend was home from Utah.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 03:00 PM
Granted. But now everyone else goes to Utah. I mean, WTF is in Utah, anyways?

I wish I could wake up.

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 03:19 PM
Granted. You are now awake and never able to fall asleep again.

I wish it was December.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 03:26 PM
Granted. There's 17 feet of snow that you alone have to shovel out, but hey, at least Christmas is around the corner.

I wish I wasn't having constant, unexplainable panic attacks about school starting.

f f freak
09-04-2010, 04:13 PM
Granted. Now you are having constant, unexplainable Pedobear attacks from Northern.

I wish more Mafia people were online.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 04:25 PM
Granted. Now the game is never gonna eeeeend!

I wish LoM won't pull some stupid prank on me on the first day of school like I know he will.

Agent Proto
09-04-2010, 04:30 PM
Granted! He'll pull the most epic prank on you instead. Be prepared.

I wish I had a PS3. :(

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 04:33 PM
Granted. Too bad it breaks within the first week of owning it, and your warranty JUUUUST expired. :D

I wish I had something to eat for breakfast.

NorthernChaosGod
09-04-2010, 04:41 PM
Granted, but how do you like your eggs in the morning? :jokey:

I wish I didn't have to go to work, but I still got paid for today.

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 04:46 PM
Granted. But then you're fired tomorrow! :D

I wish I knew what I was doing with my life.

qwertysaur
09-04-2010, 07:07 PM
Granted. But an Octorock kills you right after and you get a game over.

I wish I had a trout to smack \certain people with :trout:

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 10:06 PM
Granted. They just happen to got a shark to smack back with.

I wish I had a tooth pick. I got somethin' stuck in my teeth. :b

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 10:13 PM
I give you a toothpick, in your eye

I wish there weren't so many horrible people at my school XD

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 10:39 PM
Granted. Now they're at your house!
Mosher, in your house? Oh, the humanity.

I wish this roast wasn't so burned. :B

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 10:43 PM
Granted. Now it's raw and your oven is broken.

I wish I had a class where I am surrounded by all of my super awesome friends, Naomi included

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 10:47 PM
Granted. It's gym again! :D

Oh god, why did I just do that to myself...

I wish I had some more Coke de Mexicano. D:

leader of mortals
09-04-2010, 10:58 PM
Granted buuut... http://nastyish.com/images/wilford%20brimley/wilford-brimley-diabeetus.jpg

I wish I could do something worthwhile for the forums

TheGlassesGirl
09-04-2010, 11:01 PM
Granted. Now all the little nooblets will come running to you for every widdle problem they have. :D

I wish I wasn't so shy.

gothicage
09-05-2010, 12:53 AM
granted but now everyones shy of you :)

i wish i had a million dollars....

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 12:54 AM
Granted, but you still gotta pay a :bou::bou::bou::bou:load of taxes.

I wish I wasn't so impatient with Mafia. D:

fire_of_avalon
09-05-2010, 12:59 AM
Granted. You now have the patience of a saint, and are immediately killed in the next round.

I wish I didn't have to go to work so early tomorrow.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 01:02 AM
Granted. Now you have to go when you want to go to bed.

I wish I was funnier.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 01:25 AM
Granted. No one will ever take you seriously again

I wish for someone to hold, someone to love, someone that I can confide in and know will always be there for me.

qwertysaur
09-05-2010, 01:28 AM
Granted. A cactuar is stuck to you. :cactuar:

I wish for some shiny objects.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 01:52 AM
Granted. Now the magpies won't leave you alone.

I wish I knew everything. 8D

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 02:07 AM
You know everything. Everyone's pain is now your own. Every suicidal thought, every tear, every cut, every night sitting alone, wishing he had the courage to pull the trigger. These thoughts are now your own.

I wish I was less of a pussy XD

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 02:12 AM
Granted. Now no girl will go out with you for being such a dick.
In my universe, that's the polar opposite.

I wish I didn't have to worry about meeting new people.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 02:17 AM
Granted. I introduce you to all my dumb stoner friends, and they all creep on you.

I wish I didn't have to worry about my future while regretting the past.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 02:34 AM
Granted. You worry about the past while regretting the future.

I wish the dishes would clean themselves tonight.

NorthernChaosGod
09-05-2010, 03:23 AM
Granted. The dishes become sentient, clean themselves, and then leave.

I wish I got paid more.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 04:04 AM
Granted. Your employer goes bankrupt because they paid you so much. No more job!

I wish I could stop playing Give Up, Robot.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 04:39 AM
Granted. You are no longer playing. You ARE the robot. And you are on hard mode. Good luck, and godspeed.

I wish I knew what to wish for

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 04:48 AM
Granted. You wish their was a rabid Tasmanian devil in your trousers.

I wish I had more tea

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 04:58 AM
You have more tea, but it gives you aids.

I wish NCG would post next and say someting funny

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 05:03 AM
Gran- HA!

I wish I had more coffee.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 05:06 AM
You have more coffee, but it gives you Herpes.

I wish Naomi would post something sweet next XD

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 05:24 AM
Granted. I answered your wish, what more do you want?

I wish I knew how to be nicer.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 05:28 AM
Can not grant, you are already super nice :3

I wish Naomi would find my creepiness funny and charming instead of, well, creepy

razorrozar7
09-05-2010, 05:36 AM
Granted. She permanently glomps you and never lets go. She cuts off circulation in your legs.

I wish my friend didn't insist on looking at guides on his PC while playing the PS3, thus depriving me of the ability to be on here.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 05:45 AM
Granted. She permanently glomps you and never lets go. She cuts off circulation in your legs.

Wheres the bad part?

Granted, but now he plays games all day on the computer and sold the PS3 to pay for the monthly subscription.

I wish I could know what people really think about me.

NorthernChaosGod
09-05-2010, 06:13 AM
Granted. They all hate you, now you're sad.

I wish Naomi liked me.

missaira
09-05-2010, 08:29 AM
granted. now she does, and you suddenly realise you don't like her. at all. and she's really very annoying.

i wish that i could find a pen that writes well on the back of my hand.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 08:35 AM
You find Dolores Umbridge's pen.

I wish I could have an awesome dream tonight.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 03:52 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, everything is horrible when you wake up.

I wish I had a pet unicorn

razorrozar7
09-05-2010, 07:28 PM
Granted. It gets mako poisoning and dies. You are haunted by its ghost, which drives you to suicide.

Decided not to go with the stock "it goes berserk and kills you" thing.

I wish for a fish on a dish.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 08:09 PM
Granted. You get this fish on a dish, but is served by a bitch that makes you wish you never had the fish because your brain goes squish because the bitch was a witch with a magic swish, for the witch had a wish to accomplish.

HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS FUN

I wish I could continue that rhyme.

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 08:12 PM
Granted. You continue the rhyme forever. You never leave the house and you soon die of starvation.

I wish for a hug :3

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 08:20 PM
Granted. Here's a porcupine!

I wish my slippers were fuzzy again. >:

leader of mortals
09-05-2010, 08:22 PM
Granted. Your slippers are now made of dead kittens.

I wish Demon Dude would post next XD

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 08:27 PM
:jess:

I wish lom would post next! :U

razorrozar7
09-05-2010, 08:35 PM
Granted.

Dammit, first Rye, now LoM. I need to change my password.

I wish I had a large Frosty.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 08:37 PM
Granted. It's razor blade flavored!

Did I just miss something...?

I wish my mp3 player would charge faster.

NeoCracker
09-05-2010, 09:53 PM
It charges fast all right, though the rapid energy intake causes it to blow up. O_O

I wish I had a pedo-van.

TheGlassesGirl
09-05-2010, 09:55 PM
Granted. Chris Hansen would like to have a word with you.

I wish I had more chips. -holds out bowl like Oliver Twist-

f f freak
09-05-2010, 11:03 PM
Granted. You now have 1 million wood chips. MMMM! Oaky!

I wish for nothing.

Agent Proto
09-05-2010, 11:17 PM
Granted. Everything you ever owned is now stripped away from you leaving you with nothing. :D

I wish I had my own TARDIS.

qwertysaur
09-06-2010, 12:38 AM
Granted. It also is about to EXPLODE :eek:

I wish I didn't die in mafia :(

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 12:52 AM
Granted. Everyone assumes you're cheating and you get insta-banned.

I wish Naomi would post next :3

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 01:41 AM
Granted. It's stabby time now. >:D -brandishes knife-

I wish my pug would let me type. >_>

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 01:47 AM
Granted, but it doesn't let you live

I wish Naomi was here and I could annoy/creep/hug her

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 01:53 AM
Granted. It's stabby time now. >:D -raises knife above her head-

I wish I could lose weight.

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 02:04 AM
Granted. You lose weight the only way possible for someone as beautiful and skinny as you, you become 5'1". Now don't ever call yourself fat again :colbert:

I wish I were smoother.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 02:24 AM
Granted. You're so smooth, you cannot pick things up. You simply slide everywhere because friction doesn't apply to you. YOU CANNOT HUG ME NOW.

I wish I had a good, decent wish to make that somehow doesn't involve lom.

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 02:28 AM
Granted. It involves NCG and a candlelight dinner.

I wish for my teachers to not all suck donkey nutsacks

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 02:30 AM
Granted. You're transferred to Western. Now the students all suck donkey nutsacks.

I wish this school year was the best school year ever.

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 02:32 AM
Granted, but your senior year is gonna suuuuuuuck

I wish I could think of a flattering yet non-creepy thing to say to Naomi

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 03:57 AM
Granted. You tell me to eff off and go find better friends, because I'm cooler than you.

I wish my sister would stop distracting.

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 04:54 AM
Your sister stops distracting you, and instead steals the computer.

I wish I could stop drinking Dew

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 05:43 AM
Granted. You now drink blood that the blood band desperately needs, you horrible person.

I wish I could get back to a normal sleep schedule by, like, tomorrow night.

NorthernChaosGod
09-06-2010, 05:46 AM
Granted, but now you sleep with me.

I wish this wish was impossible to corrupt.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 06:05 AM
Granted. The next one will be twice as corrupt.

I wish my playlist would stop playing songs I don't wanna hear right now. >:U

NorthernChaosGod
09-06-2010, 06:25 AM
Granted. Your playlist stops playing songs. Forever.

I wish Naomi would get the Master Sword.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 06:31 AM
Granted. I have it, and I TAKE OVER THE WORLD! >:D

I wish I was better at Mafia.

NorthernChaosGod
09-06-2010, 06:33 AM
Granted. Now you're too good and no one wants to play with you.

I wish I had a better car.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 06:48 AM
Granted. Someone steals it.
That was TOO easy.

I wish the green streaks in my hair wouldn't wash out so easily.

leader of mortals
09-06-2010, 07:15 AM
Granted. They disappear.

I wish I could hold Naomi forever and ever and ever

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 07:21 AM
Granted. I stab you.

I wish I could play Mafia ALL NIGHT~

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 02:38 PM
Granted. But then the real mafia comes and recruits you, and then you get arrested.

I wish I hadn't got rickrolled yesterday.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 03:30 PM
Granted. You pass that Rickroll to me, and I punch you in the face.

I wish I had a hover chair.

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 03:51 PM
I really did pass the rickroll onto you. :D That was the same vid that rickrolled me yesterday.

Granted. It soars out of the atmosphere. And you aren't Freeza.

I wish I could play Castle Crashers 4-eva.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 04:14 PM
Granted. You forget to eat, sleep, and eventually, breathe.

I wish my nose wasn't all stuffed up.

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 04:19 PM
Granted. But then you tilt your drink too far back and get Mountain Dew up your nose.

That has actually happened to me. ;.;

I wish I was better at graphic design.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 04:24 PM
Granted. You are so great, all other graphic designers (including myself) form a mob to find you, because you ran them out of business.

I wish I could get clients who actually like my work.

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 04:25 PM
Granted. They are all pedobears.

I wish I could go BACK... TO THE FUTURE!!!!

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 04:28 PM
Granted. You unknowingly hook up with your great great granddaughter, causing your great great great grandchild to be your son.

I wish I could get rid of this cough.

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 04:31 PM
Granted. It exits your body and becomes a physical entity. This entity follows you around, coughing annoyingly, until the end of your days.

I wish everyone in the world would read Order of the Stick.

Carl the Llama
09-06-2010, 05:52 PM
Granted, and everyone loves it so much they form massive worship groups and mob you where ever you go and you end up being ripped to pieces by all the people in the world then the entire mob hangs themselves because they think your story is so awesome except for the little children who don't know how to read, they now rule the world and barney is put on rerun after rerun just one specific show and now the world follows the new barney religion.

I wish that all my wishes were completely uncorruptable.

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 06:03 PM
I didn't write OoTS. I just like it. So fail.

Granted. You are now forced to never post in this topic again.

I wish I hadd beat Castle Crashers with every character already.

Rodarian
09-06-2010, 06:35 PM
Granted, but

you console soon frys and conks out afterwards and you'll never able to play video games again.


I wish to have a body like the greek god Apollo

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 06:42 PM
Granted. You are the sun.

I wish the cake was not a lie.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 07:38 PM
Granted. It Rickrolls you instead.

(There really is a cake that resembles the Portal cake, but you can lift it up, and it's a Rick Astley cake that starts to sing "Never Gonna Give You Up", and it says "The cake is a lie")

I wish I had more steak. :B

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 07:43 PM
:exdee: Someone should make that a mod.

Granted. It's Soylent Green brand.

I wish you knew the rules, and so did I.

TheGlassesGirl
09-06-2010, 07:49 PM
Granted. I punch you in the face. THAT'S not one of the rules, mothersmurfer.

I wish I could finish eating. (I got more steak from my sister)

razorrozar7
09-06-2010, 07:52 PM
Wow, you corrupted your own wish. You got more steak, but you can't eat it. My work here is done. :D

Granted. But you can't STOP eating. See the Shel Silverstein poem about Hungry Mungry for the result.

I wish RickRolling was more funny and less annoying.

Rodarian
09-07-2010, 08:58 AM
Granted. You are the sun.

I wish the cake was not a lie.

That is like the BEST THING EVER... I SHINE SO BRIGHT AND GIVE YOU LIGHT WITH MY GAS.... :smug:

TheGlassesGirl
09-07-2010, 10:35 AM
Granted. It's so popular, people find a way to do it while you dream.

I wish this dollar I have was instead a $10 bill. ('Merican money)

Pheesh
09-07-2010, 01:01 PM
Granted, your dollar is now a 10 dollar bill. But now you have SARS.

I wish I could come up with a wish so confusing that anyone who tried to make it backfire on me would simply explode in a mass of creamy, creamy goo.

razorrozar7
09-07-2010, 01:03 PM
O_o

Granted. But then, just to see what happens, YOU try to make it backfire...

I wish I wasn't out of nachos.

Rodarian
09-08-2010, 08:35 AM
Granted...But the world has run out of dip sauces....

I wish we lived in the world of anime..

Pheesh
09-08-2010, 08:38 AM
:colbert: Pssh, Razor didn't 'splode. I call shenanigans on this whole thread.

razorrozar7
09-08-2010, 03:58 PM
I think that is the POINT of this thread, Essence.

@Roddy: Granted. We go to the world of DBZ. In one of the cities Cell attacked. The day before he attacks it.

I wish there was cake.

Rodarian
09-08-2010, 04:18 PM
Granted but the cake batter was 30yrs past due date.

I wish I was a Echo the Dolphin

razorrozar7
09-08-2010, 04:22 PM
Granted. You are the Echo of a Dolphin's voice.

I wish Cloud was real.

Rodarian
09-09-2010, 09:35 AM
Granted. You are the Echo of a Dolphin's voice.

I wish Cloud was real.

FAIL

Echo The Dolphin was the name of the Dolphin!

granted...He'll take form as a cloud in the skies above your house.

razorrozar7
09-09-2010, 03:55 PM
I'm aware of that, Roddy. The point is to CORRUPT the wish. :D

leader of mortals
09-09-2010, 09:00 PM
I wish either Rod or razor would have made a wish for me to corrupt. Oh well...

I wish I could corrupt have all of my friends together for one big hug.

qwertysaur
09-09-2010, 09:09 PM
All of your friends are fused together and whomever they hug is also fused to them.

I wish for a quina thread icon :quina:

leader of mortals
09-10-2010, 02:27 AM
Granted. No one uses it or posts in any thread where it's used.

I wish there was a :quinabert: :colbert:

Edit: http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/3806/quinabert.png

Now how do I fix this in Paint?

Bunny
09-10-2010, 05:09 AM
Granted, :quinabert: has been installed as a viable smiley. In addition to :quinabert: the following are made available: :shluptits:, :clocock:, and :raistkini: have been added. The forum implodes from a combination of horribleness, awesomeness, and lighter fluid. You are held in a federal penitentiary for your involvement in the destruction of an internet icon. The jury sentences you to death by snoo-snoo in a landmark case that lasted a whole fifteen seconds.

I wish my tummy wasn't so angry with me right now.

razorrozar7
09-10-2010, 01:42 PM
Granted. It gets depressed and commits suicide.

I wish for 16,723 PSPs.

TheGlassesGirl
09-14-2010, 03:58 PM
Granted. Now where are you gonna sleep?

I wish my icky strep throat would go away and I could go back to school.

Evastio
09-17-2010, 10:08 PM
You're able to go back to school, but the lectures in your courses will be so confusing and hard, that you'll come back from school every day with a headache.

I wish Richard Simmons would visit each and every staff member here on EoFF and have him post his visits on YouTube.

razorrozar7
09-19-2010, 11:39 PM
Granted however he then comes to live with you and post every minute waking life with him on youtube
i wish i had a genuine les paul electric guitar

Hollycat
09-20-2010, 12:05 AM
I made a thread EXACTLY like this one a long time ago.... Evil Genie

Granted, but you will explode in 3 seconds

I wish for a fish

|-THE redmage-|
09-20-2010, 12:50 AM
Granted. A fish falls from the air, a cat eats it, then bites you and you contract rabies.

I wish for a Big Mac and a large soda.

TheGlassesGirl
09-20-2010, 01:13 AM
Granted. That meal was made with a special protein that makes you morbidly obese.

I wish I had a job, and still enough time to keep my grades up in school.

Hollycat
09-21-2010, 03:45 PM
You have a job as a urinal cake maker, and have enough free time to get an A in every class, unfortunately you waste that time playing Cane and lynch 2 without volume

I wish that I had a working copy of every psp game in english

Otis_Glicker
09-21-2010, 07:48 PM
Done. But you lost your psp.

I wish I had a solid gold telephone.

TheGlassesGirl
09-25-2010, 12:46 AM
Granted. It's too heavy to pick up.

I wish I could never get sick for the rest of my life.

Otis_Glicker
09-25-2010, 03:57 AM
Done! Corpses don't get sick.

I wish everything was great forever and nothing went wrong.

TheGlassesGirl
09-25-2010, 02:21 PM
Granted. Everything is so great, you lose perception of what the bad is, which means you simultaneously lose your perception of what is good.

I wish I had some friggin' ice cream.

|-THE redmage-|
09-27-2010, 05:20 PM
Granted. It was yellow for reasons you don't want to know.

I wish i could go home because school is boring right now.

Rodarian
09-30-2010, 08:44 AM
Granted but you find out that your is now being occupied by poltergeists who make your life a living hell... :S


I wish the people of this world enter into a prosperous joy filled age...

DarkBahamut
10-03-2010, 05:00 PM
Granted, but now we all have AIDS :mad2:

I wish everyone hated Justin Bieber.

Otis_Glicker
10-04-2010, 08:02 AM
Granted. Nothing changed though, he still makes his terrible music.

I wish vegans weren't so snooty.

TheGlassesGirl
10-07-2010, 01:48 AM
Granted. They're so nice, they make you vegan dishes for the rest of your life.

I know some very nice vegans, too. :G

I wish I had more coffee.

Agent Proto
10-07-2010, 02:13 AM
Granted. You now have more coffee for the rest of the day! However once you run out, that's it.

I wish I had red hair. :cuch:

KentaRawr!
10-07-2010, 04:09 AM
Granted, but then it's revealed to you that you had to sacrifice your soul for the sake of your ginger hair.

I wish I'd finish my Japanese homework already!

Cuchulainn
10-08-2010, 02:49 PM
Granted. You now have more coffee for the rest of the day! However once you run out, that's it.

I wish I had red hair. :cuch:

You rang?