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TheGlassesGirl
10-16-2010, 09:50 PM
I found this amazing image on StumbleUpon:
33745
Mine is a pair of scissors and a knitting needle.

Madame Adequate
10-16-2010, 09:54 PM
I've been seeing this everywhere lately and I still cannot fathom how I am supposed to do anything about zombies with a cat box. :(

Clo
10-16-2010, 09:55 PM
There's a sign for a cafe station to my left... this is going to be strange.

Vyk
10-16-2010, 09:58 PM
There's a person to my left .... and I don't think she'd appreciate being wielded as a weapon against the undead masses

Freya
10-16-2010, 10:00 PM
I have to beat zombies with a wall o.o Will a bullseye painted on it work? :D?

NorthernChaosGod
10-16-2010, 10:51 PM
MY TV and 360? :confused:

G13
10-16-2010, 10:55 PM
A cordless phone and a wooden chair. I'm fucked.

TheGlassesGirl
10-16-2010, 10:55 PM
I think I'm winning so far. :smug:

blackmage_nuke
10-16-2010, 10:55 PM
a deck of cards, a small blue light, a quarter full, month old bottle of orange gatorade and a set of nail clippers.

How do i decide!?

edit: I threw out the gatorade and found 70cents under it, huzzah!

TheGlassesGirl
10-16-2010, 10:56 PM
Go with the nail clippers, they're the sharpest!

Bunny
10-16-2010, 11:11 PM
BEWARE ZOMBIES

I'LL UP THE VOLUME ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS

sup remote

Rase
10-16-2010, 11:11 PM
A half-finished loaf of bread on top of some books. Hmmm...

TheGlassesGirl
10-16-2010, 11:12 PM
BEWARE ZOMBIES

I'LL UP THE VOLUME ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS

sup remote

Beat them to death with it. No one cares about television anymore, anyways.

Bunny
10-16-2010, 11:17 PM
It's the remote to my monitor, not my tv.

Rantz
10-16-2010, 11:18 PM
A flyswatter. If nothing else, it will look comical to bystanders.

Cuchulainn
10-16-2010, 11:20 PM
I'm to my left...theres a mirror there...and I look like I could survive a zombie apocalypse as they'd confuse me for one of their own.

Iceglow
10-16-2010, 11:26 PM
I have a cushion, a ds lite, a box that my htc desire came in, my htc desire and a roller blind, window and wall oh and add in the drop from a first floor window.

Raistlin
10-16-2010, 11:29 PM
To my left, there's... my closet door. The best weapon in that direction is a shoe. Unless I can go in my closet, because there are some tools in there.

NorthernChaosGod
10-16-2010, 11:35 PM
Well, I should just go put my crowbar to my left now.

And I will.

Clo
10-17-2010, 12:03 AM
To my left, there's... my closet door. The best weapon in that direction is a shoe. Unless I can go in my closet, because there are some tools in there.

No, Wes, we all want you out of the closet.

EDIT: BA DUM TSHH.

Raistlin
10-17-2010, 12:17 AM
My desire for your giant dong has never been concealed.

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 12:51 AM
This thread :onoes:

Psychotic
10-17-2010, 12:57 AM
Two fireaxes taped to a sledgehammer. I call it a Defiler. Looks a little something like this:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/defiler.jpg

(fine ok it's really just a fucking wall, happy?)

Carl the Llama
10-17-2010, 01:04 AM
A small tin of Dove Grey gloss a capri sun (orange) a hardback book and £14.59 in loose change... after seeing the loose change in action in Resident Evil Afterlife I think I win ^^

TyphoonThaReapa
10-17-2010, 01:09 AM
I have two flash drives, my laptop bag, broken iphone headphones, my worn out wallet with a condom in it, two sets of keys, half roll of quarters, a pen, my last check from work, five dollars, and umbrella, an iron and ironing board.


I win smurfers...

:cool:

Agent Proto
10-17-2010, 02:06 AM
*grabs a random object from his left*

Smurf yeah! A Pokewalker!

TheGlassesGirl
10-17-2010, 02:09 AM
We are the worst zombie defense army ever.

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 02:16 AM
Only because I'm not cheating like everyone else in here seems to be. I have great weapons for a zombie apocalypse.

fire_of_avalon
10-17-2010, 02:22 AM
As unbelievable as I know this is, the closes object to my left is actually a standard hammer. Yaaaay.

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 02:37 AM
That's not actually unbelievable coming from you.

Depression Moon
10-17-2010, 02:43 AM
A wall and a trashcan.

escobert
10-17-2010, 02:46 AM
My left speaker :D

Laddy
10-17-2010, 03:13 AM
I knew what this was going to be about so I positioned the monitor to my right.

Them zombies need some really fine meat, now. :D

qwertysaur
10-17-2010, 04:13 AM
I guess I'm lucky like foa, because the closest item to my left is a sword. :bigsmile:

Good thing it's not the right because that would be a pillow :jess:

Shorty
10-17-2010, 04:50 AM
The only object to my left is a remote control. So unless the zombies are robots that I can program to turn off with this thing, I feel like I do not have a good chance at survival.

TheGlassesGirl
10-17-2010, 05:22 AM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:

Madame Adequate
10-17-2010, 05:40 AM
Only because you haven't asked about up (Where my emergency supplies and rations are stored), right (oaken planks for boarding up windows and doors), or down (My zombie killin' equipment).

qwertysaur
10-17-2010, 05:42 AM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
Also foa has a hammer. :p

Shorty
10-17-2010, 05:49 AM
Sometimes when I think of Huxley, I personify him as Dwight Schrute in my mind.

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 08:32 AM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:

I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Madonna
10-17-2010, 01:01 PM
I must rush to work, but know you my item is a towel.

Drift
10-17-2010, 01:05 PM
a plastic model of Snake ala MGS3: Snake Eater

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/247/3263666163_5aac27a735_o.jpg

Levian
10-17-2010, 01:16 PM
a book with a pair of glasses on top of it.

Oh god, I'm the token nerd. I'm destined to die while looking for my asthma medicine.

Meat Puppet
10-17-2010, 02:06 PM
I have a baseball bat if I swivel on my chair far enough. Otherwise, it's the universe.

TheGlassesGirl
10-17-2010, 02:27 PM
Only because you haven't asked about up (Where my emergency supplies and rations are stored), right (oaken planks for boarding up windows and doors), or down (My zombie killin' equipment).

Hey, blame the picture, not me.



It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
Also foa has a hammer. :p

Oh, right. Well, the three of us then.



It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Yes, but to the left of you?


I must rush to work, but know you my item is a towel.

Either this is an amazing HHGttG reference, or you just place towels in obscure locations.

Mirage
10-17-2010, 02:56 PM
A handful of coins is now my zombie survival weapon.

Optimally, I'd go for a naginata or halberd.

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 04:50 PM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Yes, but to the left of you?

Now they are.

qwertysaur
10-17-2010, 04:55 PM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Yes, but to the left of you?

Now they are.
That's cheating, unless you destroy your 360 and TV. :p Also machete's are better suited for the kitchen, why is it in your bedroom?

Alive-Cat
10-17-2010, 05:32 PM
A cup of tea! I knew that would come in handy. In the end, it was a cup of tea that saved us all.

Rocket Edge
10-17-2010, 05:35 PM
A vase. :smug:

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 05:52 PM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Yes, but to the left of you?

Now they are.
That's cheating, unless you destroy your 360 and TV. :p Also machete's are better suited for the kitchen, why is it in your bedroom?
No it's not. And wtf would you use a machete for in the kitchen? :confused:

qwertysaur
10-17-2010, 06:36 PM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.

Yes, but to the left of you?

Now they are.
That's cheating, unless you destroy your 360 and TV. :p Also machete's are better suited for the kitchen, why is it in your bedroom?
No it's not. And wtf would you use a machete for in the kitchen? :confused:
Cutting coconuts when your neighborhood coconut crab is in a bad mood or just doesn't want to share, for one example. :p

TheGlassesGirl
10-17-2010, 06:37 PM
Why is everyone located next to a wall? Is that some weird feng shui practice I'm not aware of?

Bunny
10-17-2010, 06:38 PM
It seems that me and qwerty have the only chance of survival. :colbert:
I have a crowbar and machete in my room.
Yes, but to the left of you?

Now they are.
That's cheating, unless you destroy your 360 and TV. :p Also machete's are better suited for the kitchen, why is it in your bedroom?
No it's not. And wtf would you use a machete for in the kitchen? :confused:
Cutting coconuts when your neighborhood coconut crab is in a bad mood or just doesn't want to share, for one example. :p

A pointed rock works better.

PS I did this because the pyramid looks funny now.

ChickenHeart
10-17-2010, 08:43 PM
A spoon and a fork...oh dear =(

NorthernChaosGod
10-17-2010, 08:48 PM
Why is everyone located next to a wall? Is that some weird feng shui practice I'm not aware of?

Are you in the middle of your room or what? o_O

Shiny
10-17-2010, 08:53 PM
Two fireaxes taped to a sledgehammer. I call it a Defiler. Looks a little something like this:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e373/photobucketamazingness/defiler.jpg

(fine ok it's really just a fucking wall, happy?)
Oh so that's what you do with that sledge hammer. I could never figure it out.

The object to my life is an external hard drive. Maybe if I can combine it with a rake I can make a Dead Rising 2 weapon.

TyphoonThaReapa
10-17-2010, 09:00 PM
I still win. I can use my iron for a close to mid range weapon, my ironing board as a shield, and my condom for "extra protection" ;)

PS: And my umbrella as a sword based weapon. Setsuka taught me much from Soul Calibur. Come smurf with me now zombies!!!

Cuchulainn
10-17-2010, 09:13 PM
what are u all talking about. I win, to my left is a reflection of me and I'll take on anything. Now end this fucking thread.

NorthernChaosGod
10-18-2010, 01:10 AM
Yeah, but you can't go Gordon Freeman on their asses, Cuch.

Clo
10-18-2010, 02:45 AM
There is now a cat to my left I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A WEAPON I CAN ONLY USE ONCE.

Also, I am hiding for Alive-Man here. SHH.

Agent Proto
10-18-2010, 03:54 AM
Yeah, but you can't go Gordon Freeman on their asses, Cuch.

Doesn't he have a mirror to his left? He can break that :bou::bou::bou::bou: and use the sharp broken pieces as weapons.

Jessweeee♪
10-18-2010, 04:07 AM
Technically Mogi is to my left, but I think the warm climate will do just fine. Zombies aren't very resilient. (http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html)

NorthernChaosGod
10-18-2010, 06:31 AM
Yeah, but you can't go Gordon Freeman on their asses, Cuch.

Doesn't he have a mirror to his left? He can break that :bou::bou::bou::bou: and use the sharp broken pieces as weapons.

Those are horrible weapons against a zombie.

~*~Celes~*~
10-18-2010, 07:33 AM
A massive stack of DVDs, two empty glass bottles, a lamp, a small bag of Pizza Combos, a knife, a candle, lotion, nail polish remover, my left speaker, and some mint extract :D

Værn
10-18-2010, 07:52 AM
A massive stack of DVDs, two empty glass bottles, a lamp, a small bag of Pizza Combos, a knife, a candle, lotion, nail polish remover, my left speaker, and some mint extract :D
Why does a knife seem out of place on a computer desk to me? o.o

Well, it would seem that my weapon of choice is brains (http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/6813/p00047.jpg). Seems like a horribly ineffective choice of weapon. As a matter of fact, they're probably more of a liability when it comes to zombies.

Rodarian
10-18-2010, 07:59 AM
A note pad and sample zippers......I'm so going to make it through the night with these in hand.....:eep:

Alive-Cat
10-18-2010, 09:04 AM
Also, I am hiding for Alive-Man here. SHH.

YOU HAVE BEEN RETRIEVED. Now is my turn, and I will hide in a place no one will look. :jess:

I think if everyone had a choice of weapons though, training your own zombie to defend you would be the best option. You could call it Spud and take long walks through the park, enjoy a day out at the fairground, various things. Could be a lot of fun. :greenie:
Everyone, write some zombie training notes in a notepad and put it to your left. That way, when the zombies attack, we'll be prepared!

Badge
10-18-2010, 09:17 AM
My computer...I'll just have to sacrifice myself instead.

Alive-Cat
10-18-2010, 09:18 AM
My computer...I'll just have to sacrifice myself instead.

No, Badge, don't talk like that. :whimper:

Badge
10-18-2010, 11:53 AM
But...but...I can't bear to see it go!

Loony BoB
10-18-2010, 12:44 PM
There is now a cat to my left I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A WEAPON I CAN ONLY USE ONCE.
Nine times, unless it's already used up eight.

For me? I have a freaking gun.

Okay, so it's a tape gun. But that's still useful. I also have scissors, two screwdrivers, a number of markers, pens and pencils, post-it-notes, a mug, label remover spray, foam cleaner, many plastic cups, salad cream, tartare sauce, tomato sauce, salt, notepads, thermal paste and a CD. All of which could be put to some use, I'm sure, if I thought about it hard enough. The label remover would be useful for blinding the zombies, the tape gun could be used to wrap up their faces so they can't bite and arms so they can't move them from their body. Even their legs so as to cause them to fall over. The foam cleaner probably would blind them too, now that I think about it. CD, when broken, would do okay for close-quarters engagements. Same goes for pens/pencils and screwdrivers. The plastic cups and sauces would do for emergency rations if it came to that level of desperation. Notepad + tape gun + permanent marker = Notes to be left for fellow survivors. Post-it notes work, too. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I can use the thermal paste, uh, should I need to order in a new CPU and systemboard for my PC. xD

If I was at home instead of at work, it would be the plank which makes up part of my IKEA desk. Which can be dismantled and used like a bat. That works.

Alive-Cat
10-18-2010, 12:49 PM
Nine times, unless it's already used up eight.

For me? I have a freaking gun.

Okay, so it's a tape gun. But that's still useful. I also have scissors, two screwdrivers, a number of markers, pens and pencils, post-it-notes, a mug, label remover spray, foam cleaner, many plastic cups, salad cream, tartare sauce, tomato sauce, salt, notepads, thermal paste and a CD. All of which could be put to some use, I'm sure, if I thought about it hard enough. The label remover would be useful for blinding the zombies, the tape gun could be used to wrap up their faces so they can't bite and arms so they can't move them from their body. Even their legs so as to cause them to fall over. The foam cleaner probably would blind them too, now that I think about it. CD, when broken, would do okay for close-quarters engagements. Same goes for pens/pencils and screwdrivers. The plastic cups and sauces would do for emergency rations if it came to that level of desperation. Notepad + tape gun + permanent marker = Notes to be left for fellow survivors. Post-it notes work, too. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I can use the thermal paste, uh, should I need to order in a new CPU and systemboard for my PC. xD

If I was at home instead of at work, it would be the plank which makes up part of my IKEA desk. Which can be dismantled and used like a bat. That works.

Loony BoB is The Ultimate Zombie Destroyer.

Loony BoB
10-18-2010, 01:47 PM
I wouldn't go as far as to say that. I'd just say that I'm ready to adapt to extreme situations should the need arise. :cool:

Madonna
10-18-2010, 02:37 PM
Perhaps the keyword "immediate" should have been inserted before "left". There are tons of things to my left, including a wooden sword, but there was a towel right there on my desk in front of everything else. I now have it equipped.

Naomi The Insane, everything is a HHGttG reference unless it is not.

TheGlassesGirl
10-18-2010, 09:27 PM
Are you in the middle of your room or what? o_O

Due to the location and shape of my desk, kind of.


There is now a cat to my left I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A WEAPON I CAN ONLY USE ONCE.

YES. :U


Technically Mogi is to my left, but I think the warm climate will do just fine. Zombies aren't very resilient. (http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html)

I also thought of that article upon seeing that image. You and I are now best friends.


Perhaps the keyword "immediate" should have been inserted before "left". There are tons of things to my left, including a wooden sword, but there was a towel right there on my desk in front of everything else. I now have it equipped.

Naomi The Insane, everything is a HHGttG reference unless it is not.
Hey, I didn't make the image.

And you and I are now best friends, too.

Peegee
10-18-2010, 09:33 PM
The phone is too low to the monitor's position for the jpg

so it looks like I will be using some helium filled balloons to attack zombies

FUUUUUUU

Roogle
10-18-2010, 09:55 PM
The item to my left is a laptop. I guess that sounds kind of cool for the first zombie, but if you bash them hard enough, it will eventually be unusable...

Pheesh
10-19-2010, 08:28 AM
A pillow...A SMURFING PILLOW!

Jiro
10-20-2010, 01:15 PM
I will beat you the fuck down with my coffee cup you fucking zombie fucks. Don't even try to mess with me I'm hyped up on caffeine and hate the smell of your intestines.

NorthernChaosGod
10-20-2010, 03:03 PM
I will beat you the smurf down with my coffee cup you smurfing zombie smurfs. Don't even try to mess with me I'm hyped up on caffeine and hate the smell of your intestines.

I like your attitude.

TheGlassesGirl
10-23-2010, 02:56 AM
I will beat you the smurf down with my coffee cup you smurfing zombie smurfs. Don't even try to mess with me I'm hyped up on caffeine and hate the smell of your intestines.

I like you. :jess:

|-THE redmage-|
10-24-2010, 06:21 PM
I have a pillow, a lightsaber (toy obviously), a broom, and a BB gun, but the lightsaber is the closest to me.

Bunny
10-24-2010, 07:04 PM
Do you keep the lightsaber under your pillow in the case of Imperial intruder scum while the broom is next to your desk so as to easily dispose of the corpses after death?

|-THE redmage-|
10-24-2010, 07:57 PM
Do you keep the lightsaber under your pillow in the case of Imperial intruder scum while the broom is next to your desk so as to easily dispose of the corpses after death?
Was my plan really that obvious?