Raistlin is overpowered and invincible

[Peegee]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b4/Raistlin.png

Seriously have any of you read about this guy? I swear the person who created him was on crack or wanted to set up a Mary Sue:

Raistlin accepted and during the final confrontation with the Dark Elf, Renet, who played a prominent role in the Test, his own powerful will manifested powerful magical armor that turned his skin gold and allowed him to survive a direct hit by a fireball with almost no injury.
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/alumni_Goristro_fc1.jpg
It was when Raistlin first encountered Immolatus that a new ability of Raistlin's cursed eyes was revealed. Upon encountering a dragon garbed in mortal guise, he could see partially through its transformation. In the book Brothers in Arms, the first encounter with Immolatus is described as such:



His ambition, however, was such that he betrayed the Dark Queen, ultimately bringing the War of the Lance to an end and leaving him as the most powerful force on Krynn.

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs15/300W/f/2007/009/2/3/Raistlin_Majere_by_melyanna.jpg
Family tree
Caramon Majere (Elder) Unknown Woman



Gilon Majere Rosamun Gregor Uth Matar



Tika Waylan Caramon Raistlin Kitiara Uth Matar Sturm Brightblade



Tanin Palin Usha Laura Steel Brightblade



Sturm Ulin Linsha Dezra


He was once the famous/infamous Hero of the Lance (from the Dragonlance series), after his death his spirit roamed the astral plane, and when this new plane of existence was created, being the most powerful mage ever to live, it was easy for him to set himself up as a god of this realm.


http://www.trollandtoad.com/images/products/pictures/170875.jpg

Seriously how can a player character be so powerful? I know they've moved him to NPC status now (finally) but God, Raistlin is supremely awesome and possibly the best character in existence. If I could play D&D 3.2 again, I would choose to be Raistlin only so that I can DPS while Gimli and Boremir tanked golem.

Oh God, I wish I could draw; does anybody have any fanfic where Raistlin and Gimli are fighting orcs?

[*Devore*]

I have no idea who this guy is. Is he from Dungeons and Dragons or Lord of the Rings? Or maybe House?

[Breine]

I have no idea who this guy is. Is he from Dungeons and Dragons or Lord of the Rings? Or maybe House?

The correct answer would be Dragonlance. It's a good series. Been ages since I've read one of the books.


EDIT: Oh, and yes. Raistlin is a pretty awesome character.

[Bunny]

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/alumni_Goristro_fc1.jpg

I'm confused. This is neither a Dark Elf or a Dragon in Mortal guise. Why does this picture exist in your post?

[Peegee]

Wait Raistlin is a dragonlance character? Then what was I thinking of that was OP in D&D?

lol

[Shlup]

I don't think you know what "Mary Sue" means.

Mary Sue is a character that is just magically wonderful and the object of affection for every character around for no reason. Raistlin Majere earned his power.

And he's obviously not all that invincible if he died, like, in his mid 30s or something. Take off that stupid avatar and sig before I beat you.

[G13]

Raistlin Majere earned his power.

Good thing you added his last name, that could have been disastrous for you.

[Shlup]

I try to watch my step when discussing this topic. Raistlin Majere is my favorite literary character of all time, after all.

[Del Murder]

Never heard of this name before.

[Raistlin]

And he's obviously not all that invincible if he died, like, in his mid 30s or something.

Late 20s. And he only "died" voluntarily. :p

[Del Murder]

Oh, now I remember. He's from one of those fantasy series, right? The Dagger of Justice or something like that. I tried to read it once but it took about 40 pages to describe a simple walk through a forest where nothing even happened.

Also sorry for the double post.

[Shlup]

And he's obviously not all that invincible if he died, like, in his mid 30s or something.

Late 20s. And he only "died" voluntarily. :p

Still dead. Kind of.

[rubah]

It's still possible that the character was an example of self-insertion. Perhaps just cleverly done!

[Dignified Pauper]

The Raistlin we know and love is nothing more than heaps of straw resembling a man.

[Peegee]

The Raistlin we know and love is nothing more than heaps of straw resembling a man.

:ichigo: man?

I understand that usually mary sues are self insertions or bizarre fantasies, but I also use the term when I see a character that unjustly is irrationally lucky or ridiculously fantastical.

A god example would be Broxigar (http://www.wowwiki.com/Broxigar) in warcraft lore. That motherfucker is just a regular orc, and he manages to wield a magical axe that is as dense as diamond, and is sharpened (so it would slice through you like a hot knife on butter). The mofo goes on a killing spree of demons until an evil titan comes to stop him, and even at that, he injures him. WTF

Raistlin is like that. Raistlin is so powerful and awesome that he is too cool for school.

I love Raistlin.

[Shlup]

Raistlin Majere is not a Mary Sue, you stupid azn.

[Meat Puppet]

gordon freeman is overpowered he is a nerd and then he kills everything wtf

[Peegee]

Raistlin Majere is not a Mary Sue, you stupid azn.

u http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/squallberry2.gif brah?

[Clo]

I suggest you read the book before you go off on a tangent about one of its characters?

Also... wtf, Peegee. :|

[G13]

I was under the impression that he had read the book. :freak:

[Peegee]

I was under the impression that he had read the book. :freak:

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I READ THE BOOK?

I'm just a raistlin fanboi because he's overpowered and invincible!

God Raistlin makes me so wet

[fire_of_avalon]

Ahahahaha

[Psychotic]

isn't he the guy in eragon

man

eragon was :bou::bou::bou::bou: wasn't it

but it had robert carlyle in it so that was nice.

[Bunny]

God Raistlin makes me so wet

I have never wanted to be illiterate before.

[Peegee]

God Raistlin makes me so wet

I have never wanted to be illiterate before.

If you didn't want to read it why did you?

[Bunny]

Something about being able to read and comprehend more than one word at a time.

[Raistlin]

God Raistlin makes me so wet

If only I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...

I'd be rich off of Shlup alone.

[Clo]

This is the worst thread ever.

[Shorty]

I agree.

also PG what the hell grossss

[Dignified Pauper]

Ima be Ima be Ima Ima Ima be sick.

[Jessweeee♪]

This is the worst thread ever.

Agreed!

[theundeadhero]

I have to do at least one awesome thing a week. EOFF, this is your week. I'm reopening this thread because it amuses me.

[Jessweeee♪]

Poop!

[Raistlin]

I have to do at least one awesome thing a week. EOFF, this is your week. I'm reopening this thread because it amuses me.

This thread has been amusing enough; now it is even more entertaining.

[NorthernChaosGod]

XD Best. Thread. Ever.

[Shlup]

God Raistlin makes me so wet

If only I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...

I'd be rich off of Shlup alone.

http://pics.livejournal.com/naughtydolphin/pic/003fdbsz

[Psychotic]

Imagine Raistlin shaving the area between his scrotum and his arsehole. He then puts the shavings into a blender along with a melon. You must consume the resulting mixture.

Imagine Raistlin with a heavy cold, violently inserting his nose into your belly button.

Imagine Raistlin holding you down. He hasn't brushed his teeth in days, and he screams in your face. Phlegm and blood from his gums go into your eyes.

Imagine a sweaty Raistlin beef rump sandwich ferociously pumping. I don't even know what this means, but imagine it.

Imagine Raistlin's crusty and sodden underpants being used to slap you in the face.

[Bunny]

Imagine Raistlin shaving the area between his scrotum and his arsehole. He then puts the shavings into a blender along with a melon. You must consume the resulting mixture.

That's called the "taint".

[Psychotic]

Thanks man.

Imagine the universe being replaced by Raistlin's excrement-encrusted taint. Forever.

[DK]

Imagine coming home from a long hard day at work, you feel more tired than usual and all you want to do is get a shower, put on some comfortable clothes and relax. You undress, head to your bathroom and open the door to find Raistlin sitting on the floor angrily debating an inane political issue with your unresponsive toilet, occasionally getting frustrated and slapping it gingerly.

Imagine picking up the phone every time you need to call someone, and hearing Raistlin at the other end of the line rubbing the reciever across his nipples and letting out an occasional high pitched squeal.

Imagine sitting down at your computer with the curtains drawn, intending to scour the internet for pictures of your favourite pop singer falling out of his/her clothes, and having your computer endlessly open new browsers with pictures of Raistlin posing in a provocative manner, wearing a t-shirt he has pulled underneath and out through the collar to fashion a bikini.

Imagine pouring yourself a bowl of cereal to find a note falls out, that is handwritten by Raistlin and details his love for animals small enough to fit in Paris Hiltons handbag and how each piece of cereal represents a different animal and that he has kissed each one.

Imagine waking up in the morning, rolling over in bed half awake and groggily opening your eyes. You see Raistlin casually stretching at the foot of your bed, in your favourite outfit while staring at you with wild, manic eyes. He is breathing heavily and has worked up a good sweat.

[Psychotic]

Imagine eating a nice bowl of ice cream, when your taste something that doesn't feel quite right in your mouth. You gently take it out of your mouth, and examine it. It is black and lumpy. Raistlin then walks in, and shows you a video of him digging said lump out of his ear, and putting it into the ice cream. He then rubs the spoon you've just been eating from between his hairy toes, and giggles. The video ends.

Imagine going on a date to the movies with "The One". Maybe it's your spouse, maybe it's your long term boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe it's just that one person you've really wanted for a long time. It's going great! You turn to him/her to make a witty comment. All you see is Raistlin's grinning face, an inch from your own. "They're inside of me now!" he cackles.

Imagine logging onto your favourite forum, Eyes on Final Fantasy. You have a new PM, from none other than Raistlin. "Check your shoulder ;)" it reads. You look, and you can clearly see teethmarks going deeply into your flesh. You know they were not there last night.

Imagine Raistlin lying on your bed, squeezing a particularly nasty sore. It sends yellow goo all over your pillow. He then wanders into your bathroom, cuts a slit into your toothpaste and scoops some of the pus into the tube, sealing it up nicely. You don't realise until it's too late.

Imagine Raistlin sending you photos of himself, totally naked, using your beloved cat/dog to cover himself up. He looks absolutely furious in the pictures. Your pet looks sad.

[DK]

Imagine hearing strange sounds coming from your living room one day. You go to investigate, and upon opening the door you are horrified to find Raistlin furiously pleasuring himself. You tear your eyes away from the scene, only to be disturbed further when you see that he is watching Dragon Ball Z.

Imagine waking with a start in the middle of the night. You feel very uncomfortable and realise you are soaked from head to toe in a strange smelling liquid of indescribable texture. Raistlin stands in the corner of your room, a glint in his eye. He is laughing, and he does not stop for hours.

Imagine finally securing an interview for a job after months of trying, preparing yourself as best you can and steeling your nerves only to enter the interview room to find Raistlin draped across a desk wearing the same outfit as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and demanding you refer to him as "Obersturnfuhrer Margaret Hasselhoff". You really need this job.

Imagine Christmas morning, as you eagerly tear into your christmas present from your mother only to find upon opening the parcel that it is filled with several various kinds of hair. You find a note from Raistlin demanding you identify which part of his body each hair came from, and failure will result in your mother experiencing the terror known as the "Massachusetts Airhorn"

Imagine Raistlin eating museli from your wife

[Psychotic]

Imagine Raistlin with a cordless drill, working hard to put up a shelf in the middle of your kitchen. Around him are the corpses of several ducklings, and several half-drunk bottles of Mountain Dew.

Imagine going to the grocery store to stock up on much needed supplies. You inadvertently glance down the baby products aisle. You are treated to the sight of Raistlin and several beefy looking men performing aerobics in skin-tight lycra singlets. You stare, absolutely amazed at what you see. Suddenly, Raistlin spies you. "SEIZE THEM!" he shrieks, and although you try to flee, you can't outrun all of these men, who speedily pin you to the ground. Raistlin strolls over, and kneels down next to you. "You're in my world now" he whispers.

You return home one afternoon. Your mother calls your name, and you go to see what she wants. When you peer round the door, you see only Raistlin. He is wearing a tie and your mother's best slippers. He walks up to you and begins to repeatedly stroke your cheek. "Ssshhhh shhhhhh" he simpers in your mother's voice. "There'll be no more pain anymore."

Imagine going out to your car one frosty December morning to discover an intricately carved and painted figurine of yourself absolutely naked, sporting a ridiculously large and engorged penis sitting on your dashboard. A note is attached. It reads, "There's more where that came from. Raistlin xxx"

[DK]

Imagine being trapped in a room with Raistlin and Iceglow. For hours they argue with each other over various topics, neither one willing to admit defeat to the other. They are both equally long winded and often nonsensical. Eventually, the friction turns into mutual attraction and they begin to engage in copulation right before your eyes, the clothes they threw haphazardly from themselves mostly hanging off of you.

Imagine leaving your house to take a walk, plugging your headphones into your MP3 player and finding that no matter which of your many songs you attempt to play all that blares out is Raistlin describing each and every little thing he would like to do to you if you were physically restrained. Remember, you are in public so you cannot cry because it would make you look foolish, so you bottle it all up inside.

Imagine being thrown into the back of a van and being rendered unconcious. When you come to, Raistlin is in front of you with a solitary tear streaming down his face. He embraces you warmly and whispers "I've waited so long for this day. Mandee" into your ear. The memories of that day will never be erased.

[Psychotic]

Imagine taking a leisurely stroll through the park. You hear a gentle crying coming from behind a bush, and, thinking someone may be in peril, you cautiously pull back the branches to investigate. You find Raistlin dressed as a baby, alternating between shovelling leaves into his mouth and sobbing. He looks up at you, aghast, and then punches you in the groin before taking off running.

Imagine Raistlin projectile vomitting on the back of your head while you are on a long haul flight. He apologies profusely, before promising to make it up to you. His way of making things up to you involves giving you three in-flight peanuts and treating you to a speech on the evils of organised religion. You are unable to get up and clean yourself off throughout this entire ordeal.

Imagine Raistlin passionately kissing your grandmother. They are lying together in a pile of your underwear.

[DK]

Imagine coming home to find Raistlin walking on his hands around your garden. He is mumbling incoherently to himself, and appears to be unaware of your presence unless directly engaged. However, every time you politely ask him to leave, he simply screams "COCO POPS!! TURNS THE MILK BROWN!!!" at you in a Scottish accent and returns to what he is doing.

Imagine being handcuffed to Raistlin, forcing you to take him with you everywhere you go. Whenever you are in public together all he does is alternate between screaming things like "I SCALED THE MOUNTAIN!! I CONQUERED THE PEAK! BOW BEFORE THE FEATS I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED, PUNY PERUVIANS!!" or simply making strange gruff noises. "Aaaaaaaaarrrghghghlllrygfffff."

Imagine switching on your television, only to find that every channel has been replaced with Raistlin performing the national dance from each country of the world. At the end of each dance he specifically dedicates his efforts to you, while rubbing his hand into his armpits and sniffing the tips of his fingers.

[Psychotic]

Imagine you're in Vegas. The bright lights, the booze, the gambling. You see someone who looks a bit like Raistlin, playing blackjack at a nearby table, but decide it can't be him. Besides, you've never met him before, so how would you know it was him? You settle yourself in at a casino and have a go at the roulette wheel, but you lose. All of a sudden, you hear a loud bellowing. Raistlin, incensed at his victory, is making an awful loud rumbling sound from his mouth. He is pointing directly at you, as he proceeds to remove all of his clothes one by one. He does not stop his endless shout.

Imagine being at a club with some friends. It's been a great night so far. Suddenly, you feel an uncontrollable urge to take an incredible dump. You can think of nothing worse than having to take a crap in a filthy club bathroom, but it's that or go in your pants, and you reluctantly head on in. As you sit down, you feel a hand reach up into your buttocks and begin to pull the excrement out. Raistlin's head appears out of the top of the tank. "Evening" he grins. He holds out his other hand and asks for a tip.

Imagine going to a game store in 2-3 years to pick up FFXV. "Surely this one won't suck!" you hope to yourself. You make your purchase and leave the shop. Outside, you see Raistlin sitting on a horse. He points a gun at your head. "Give me that fucking game now, slut." he spits with fury. You are terrified and pass it over. He then opens the box, and proceeds to lick every page of the manual. He passes the game back to you and rides off.

[Peegee]

Imagine Raistlin is in a bra. He's leaning over suggestively, with a seductive expression. You sit with your legs parted, ready to pay any price he whispers into your ear.

PS: somebody needts to post that picture. YES IT'S REAL

[Shlup]

I just can't deal with this anymore.

[Clo]

Raistlin, the meme.

[Peegee]

I just can't deal with this anymore.

This is a good first step, but you should be modding or admining Raistlin, not just stickying my awesome thread.

But I never say no when a girl is trying to do favors for me.

[Madame Adequate]

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for Raistlin

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living for Raistlin

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be Raistlin

Imagine some possessions
I wonder if you can
Greed is good said Gekko
A brotherhood of Raistlin
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the Raistohhooh~

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as Raist

[Raistlin]

Psy and Dan have some rather disturbing fantasies, even by my standards.

Also, Huxley wins the thread.

[Bunny]

Psy and Dan have some rather disturbing fantasies nightmares, even by my standards.

[Peegee]

no those are fantasies. They fap to it.

[Psychotic]

Yes, Peegee, looking at the two of us it is clear that I am the one fapping to Raistlin. :greenie:

[Peegee]

Yes, Peegee, looking at the two of us it is clear that I am the one fapping to Raistlin. :greenie:

Well who was it that derailed half of this thread with spam?

[theundeadhero]

Imagine I regret reopening this thread. Then guess what I can do with the power of imagination.

[Rantz]

Shoot fireballs? It wouldn't surprise me.