PDA

View Full Version : Booze



Manny
01-26-2011, 11:15 AM
Best drunk stories... GO!

blackmage_nuke
01-26-2011, 11:26 AM
This one time we were all drunk and some guy told me an awesome drunk story.

Clo
01-26-2011, 02:01 PM
Oh dear god, I have too many.

Peegee
01-26-2011, 02:42 PM
define best. I never know which to tell. The sex on the beach story or the stalking druggies..ok that one:

So after a night of clubbing with friends one of them take my keys and say they will come back for me. On hindsight it was probably so they can sex in my car. So I'm hanging out in the street corner until another friend sees me. She suggests I bum a cab ride to her place where I depart to stumble home.

On the way home a bunch of kids pass me and ask if they can score stuff off me. I tell them I'm empty and finally get my bearings. A minute later I realize my odd behaviour may have motivated them to follow me - let this be a lesson to those of you wont to parkour over baseball fields while out of your mind

I didn't want to lead them home so I decided to detour to a coffee shop. By now I was on a field where to my right was my house and the left was the coffee shop. So I head to the left..right into the bog.

I had forgotten you were her you sneaky bog! Now soaking wet I would not be welcomed anywhere. So I head home.

ps: bonus points for those of you who read this crap: who has my keys? I cursed myself and reached for my phone that was on my dresser,,ffuuuuu. I resigned to sleeping on our deck. This worked for a few minutes until the rain woke me up.

At this point I finally try the back door which opened. Exhausted I passed out on the floor until my roommates came home after calling my phone a thousand times.

I remember babbling about my favorite person Tara Kroes as I was taken upstairs. This story is for you.

Chris
01-26-2011, 07:33 PM
I have never once been drunk in all of my 24 years of living. I've had one drink, and that's it. I had an uncle who was an alcoholic, so I have always known not to go lift a few with the buddies.

Shlup
01-26-2011, 07:35 PM
On my 21st birthday I vomited on the ceiling.

kotora
01-26-2011, 07:38 PM
On my 21st birthday I vomited on the ceiling.

was it like a projectile of puke or more like a puke fountain?

Peegee
01-26-2011, 07:51 PM
On my 21st birthday I vomited on the ceiling.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/left4dead/images/b/b5/Boomeridle_1.png

you and he should chat.

Remon
01-26-2011, 08:03 PM
I've never been drunk.
I hate alcohol -.-

Ouch!
01-26-2011, 08:36 PM
Last semester, two of my roommates and I went over to the bar for happy hour and each got a pitcher. Our fourth roommate joined us after about an hour because he had class. We all told him that we were already on our second pitchers and that he'd have to catch up. He chugged a pitcher and a half in the next half hour or so and got absolutely trashed.

We tried to stop him, but he ran away to his bike and went ahead of us to the apartment. No handle bars. When we got back to our place, he was nowhere in sight. He appeared at our front door about two hours later, proudly declaring, "I ATE TWO STROMBOLIS!" He then proceeded to get a beer from our fridge and then fall asleep on the couch. Without finishing the beer.

Turns out one of his friends found him. My roommate went with his friend to his apartment upstairs where the guy's girlfriend was cooking a romantic dinner. She just went with it and fed my roommate some stromboli. He apparently ate this standing up in the corner of the room while they had their dinner at the table. He then drunkenly played some Call of Duty before finding his way back downstairs.

When he woke up, we drank more.

escobert
01-26-2011, 09:20 PM
I cba to type that much

Peegee
01-26-2011, 10:56 PM
I cba to type that much

do it. I never get tired of stories where you get high and drunk then pass out

Agent Proto
01-27-2011, 02:22 AM
This one time I got drunk, I kissed my cousin. It's embarrassing then, and now I don't even think about it because it's pretty stupid. Something a drunk would probably end up doing, given the circumstances.

Jiro
01-27-2011, 03:21 AM
If they were hot then it's all good Blues :cool:

This one time I got kicked out a party and so I started walking home, it would've been a 35-45km journey so I got my joggin' on. About a third of the way in I hear these two guys talking real loud and I start to panic. They're coming towards me. I thought "I'll hide in this bush" but it was like a group of four skinny plants and wouldn't have done :bou::bou::bou::bou:. So I turned around and just started walking back until I could lose them.

Turns out they were real nice fellas having some trouble. One was being hit on by this slutty chick whose boyfriend now wanted to rough him up with a steel pipe or something, and the other guy was a concerned brodude who went looking for him. Guy A had the same idea as me -- let's walk home. Except he lived in like, Nambour or something. >9000km away.

I eventually found out that "getting kicked out" was a ruse for "trying to get rid of all the gate crashers" so I was like fuck it let's go back. I ended up walking/running about 20km and came back and slept on a hill. Then I slid down the hill, like, run run run slide standing up, because it was grassy, and I almost fell in the fire.

Then we got up at 7 and ate bacon. Fucking awesome bacon.

NorthernChaosGod
01-27-2011, 05:04 AM
If they were hot then it's all good Blues :cool:

This one time I got kicked out a party and so I started walking home, it would've been a 35-45km journey so I got my joggin' on. About a third of the way in I hear these two guys talking real loud and I start to panic. They're coming towards me. I thought "I'll hide in this bush" but it was like a group of four skinny plants and wouldn't have done :bou::bou::bou::bou:. So I turned around and just started walking back until I could lose them.

Turns out they were real nice fellas having some trouble. One was being hit on by this slutty chick whose boyfriend now wanted to rough him up with a steel pipe or something, and the other guy was a concerned brodude who went looking for him. Guy A had the same idea as me -- let's walk home. Except he lived in like, Nambour or something. >9000km away.

I eventually found out that "getting kicked out" was a ruse for "trying to get rid of all the gate crashers" so I was like fuck it let's go back. I ended up walking/running about 20km and came back and slept on a hill. Then I slid down the hill, like, run run run slide standing up, because it was grassy, and I almost fell in the fire.

Then we got up at 7 and ate bacon. Fucking awesome bacon.

You sound like an awesome drunk, mate.

Meat Puppet
01-27-2011, 02:38 PM
On my 21st birthday I vomited on the ceiling.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/left4dead/images/b/b5/Boomeridle_1.png

you and he should chat.

omg noob what are you doing now we're gonna wipe

vote to kick peegee

✔ ✔ ✔ ✘

Peegee
01-27-2011, 04:29 PM
Every time I get vote kicked, I wish I could do this

✔✔✔✔

Old Manus
01-27-2011, 05:39 PM
A number of years ago, I was in Germany with a bunch of engineering guys in one of my college classes (on the EU's dollar, the only good thing they've done), to 'work with' some students from a technical college on a 'joint project'. It was essentially a two-week long bender. We drank so much German lager and weissbeer (so, so good), by the time I returned to sunny blighty I'd lost weight, lost my voice, and caught the flu due to the unholy union of sheer alcohol consumption and terrible german food.

But the part of the lager-haze that I will remember the most happened on the last night. We'd been at some fancy restaurant sampling the fine red wines, around a bottle each, then retired to the pub for one or two goodbye Hefe Paulaners. After our 7th, the place was shutting soon, so all but my roommate and a foolhardy lecturer returned to our hotel rooms, ready to be up at 7am to get to the airport.

Upon arriving back and realising that my roommate had the key to the room and was still at the pub, I decided to kip in my clothes on the spare bed next door. Glorious sleep followed, oblivious to the literal gutwrenching alcoholic tempest that was to occur around the hotel when my roommate returned. I was awoken at almost 6:30am by the sound of the door opening, revealing one of the lads wearing what can only be described as the thousand yard stare upon his dishivelled face. He mumbled something about having to stay up all night, and motioned for me to take a look in my room next door.

Upon pushing the slightly ajar door open, I was greeted with this lying in the doorway:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v491/oldmanus/e0c69923.jpg

Now, this photo does not do the situation the slightest bit of justice. I could have taken photos of the blood-red vomit that covered the walls, the door, and the window. I could have taken photos of the lecturer lying in the corner, unconscious and holding a bucket in a warm embrace. But those were my smurfing sheets and suitcase that he'd puked all over, so thought-provoking photography was not of importance.

It turned out that they had come home later on in a drunken stupor and decided to have a game of last man standing with bottles of 40% abv strawberry schnapps. In the mess that followed, my roommate (pictured) had thrown up in every stall in the public bathroom (we didn't have en suites) and got vomit over many of their doors, busted into a room down the corridor containing a few Malaysian students and pissed out their window, went back to our room, threw up all over the walls and floor, got into my bed, passed out and fell off the bed into his own vomit.

Just as I had finished taking this all in, the alarm on the phone in his pocket started to ring (Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader, a song I can never listen to again). After around 30 seconds of noise, he started to stir, and rolled straight into the sick. Not noticing this, he pulled out his phone, and thinking it was a phonecall, tried to answer it with a series of grunts. Still not remotely aware of any of the bile all over the room and himself, or even the fact that I was stood two feet in front of him, he hauled himself to his feet and stumbled out the door, falling into the doorframe and covering it in vomit in the process. I decided to leave him go and started getting all my stuff together.

Five minutes later I decided to go and find out where the hell he had disappeared to. It didn't take long before I found him standing bollock naked in the shower room, under a shower head which hadn't been turned on, still totally unaware of where he was. We had less than 20 minutes before we had to leave the country.

After stopping him from putting his vomit-covered clothes back on when he returned, getting all his junk in the van and us all getting the hell out of there (we left just as the cleaner was walking down the corridor), we faced a new problem at the airport, which was how on earth do we get a man who is absolutely blitzed drunk through passport control and security? We managed by both talking his every move into him and telling anybody who asked that he was retarded.

When finally arriving back in darkest south wales at 5pm, he was still wasted, and the last I heard he was hungover for the next one and a half weeks. Best morning of my life.

tl;dr: My friend got very drunk

Shiny
01-28-2011, 04:38 AM
Never been drunk, but I have tons of stories of other people being drunk around me. One even including my grandmother. She some how thought I was her tax collector. Alcohol is a helluva a thing.

Manny
01-28-2011, 04:59 AM
For my last birthday party, I had a Rocky Horror Picture Show dress up theme. This means that girls as well as the boys were wearing women's lingerie. Fishnets and all. Awesome. Made more awesome by the fact that we all got trashed and there are pictures in evidence.

Made more awesome by the fact that my ex-boyfriend's brother passed out in the middle of the floor and while I was trying to nurse him back to health, by ex-boyfriend got a can of something flammable (can't remember what it was--my drunk memory isn't that good) and proceeded to torch his brother's ass (which was covered by nothing more than nylon stockings) with it while the poor man was passed out in the middle of the floor, minutes away from puking his fucking spleen out for the rest of the night. There are pictures. However, they are not in my possession. That is most unfortunate, because I would very much like to share them with you.

Conclusion: best drunk night ever.

Meat Puppet
01-28-2011, 05:10 AM
Every time I get vote kicked, I wish I could do this

✔✔✔✔
I think it might be possible if the game considers you idle and then the first button you press after the vote is called is F1. Only one way to find out...

Peegee
01-28-2011, 08:20 PM
Every time I get vote kicked, I wish I could do this

✔✔✔✔
I think it might be possible if the game considers you idle and then the first button you press after the vote is called is F1. Only one way to find out...

The only way I can do that is by going idle just before somebody votekicks me ><

Iceglow
01-28-2011, 09:19 PM
I have never once been drunk in all of my 24 years of living. I've had one drink, and that's it. I had an uncle who was an alcoholic, so I have always known not to go lift a few with the buddies.

Whilst I understand and commisserate with you about the alchoholic uncle I will say drink in itself is not the issue. The issue with drinking is your own resolve and control. Don't tar yourself with the same brush as your uncle. Just because your uncle had trouble with the stuff doesn't mean you would. Ofcourse if you don't drink because you don't particulary like the stuff because of taste ect then thats fine.


This one time I got drunk, I kissed my cousin. It's embarrassing then, and now I don't even think about it because it's pretty stupid. Something a drunk would probably end up doing, given the circumstances.

You redneck azn dirty dawg you, was she hot? Would you have done more if you were more blitzed? We want to know it all.

As for me, there is a story it is a tale of one legendary night where life not only got strange, funky and a little bit homoerotic but to this day can be relied upon to inevitably cause me and Psychotic (who was present at the time) to dissolve in to hysterical fits of giggles until we can't breathe anymore at the mere mention of a word, the word in question is...Jackass Unfortunately the events aren't likely to be allowed here but if you ever ask us about it on xbl or msn or something away from here it could be retold one more time.

NorthernChaosGod
01-29-2011, 12:46 AM
You could just PM me the story.

Bunny
01-29-2011, 01:24 AM
Why wouldn't they be allowed here? Just get on with it and avoid going into excruciating detail about how Psychotic penetrated you in a deep and sexually fantastic way.

Shoeberto
01-29-2011, 02:21 AM
I drunkenly serenaded my mom on Rock Band once.

I had a very bisexual night at a gay club another time.

Another time I made my friend my pantsless voodoo zombie and had him parade around the party.

One other time I pretended to have a different name and be cousins with my room mate's ex girlfriend and acted really protective of her at the party; ended up projectile vomiting out the side of a car, nearly passing out in my full bath tub, and having my roomie hate me for a month.

I kinda like omitting key details and letting people imagine the rest.

rubah
01-29-2011, 02:38 AM
One other time I pretended to have a different name and be cousins with my room mate's ex girlfriend and acted really protective of her at the party; ended up projectile vomiting out the side of a car, nearly passing out in my full bath tub, and having my roomie hate me for a month.
I remember that xDD

sharkythesharkdogg
01-29-2011, 04:00 AM
The first time I got drunk I did the classic thing everyone does, and dry heave for about 3 hours. I think I was 15. My friends and I took over a treehouse in my friends backyard. I lost everything. I thew up down the rope ladder that we'd later have to use to climb down. This made one of my friends pissed and he decided to jump out instead. Only he just sort of rolled backwards and fell out. He managed to fall 30 feet with out breaking anything somehow. Then promptly vomited. It got down to below freezing that night (suck!). My friend slept on the ground in his vomit. His hair was dyed red. So in the morning it was sort of frozen in an afro, and he looked like Ronald McDonald.

Another time a friend of mine was doing some Karaoke for us, using a dog brush as a microphone. We'd tell him his hair was messed up, and he'd use the brush to come it. :p

I decided one time to sleep outside and use my friends picnic table as a bed. I knew I was going to vomit, so in my drunken logic I pulled his grill over and used it as a pillow. That way I could vomit through the grates and wouldn't sleep in it. See? I'm a drunk McGuyver.

There's the time I wondered off and got lost. So I decided to fall asleep in the middle of a back country road. I figured some one driving along would see me, and I could hitch a ride. Some one did see me. I woke up to a bright search light and a county sheriff. I was 18. :facepalm:

The guy gave me a ride back to the house, dropped me off, and said "Just tell everyone to behave. I was a teenager too." Thank you Officer Hernandez. You were freaking awesome!

I'm sure there's more. You get the idea. It's always amusing.

Jiro
01-29-2011, 11:25 AM
I'll participate for Timekeeper as well. Let me set the scene. You guys should know of Kings/King's Cup/That Drinking Game. Everybody knows it.

So that game. A saucepan was the cup. Seated on a pile of felled logs. Full of a little bit of everything we had: beer, bourban, vodka, some Sambucca up in there for a kick, and more but I don't remember. And of course, Timekeeper himself, wearing a pixie hat.


http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs501.ash1/29648_1369095791838_1365019761_31130004_3159408_n.jpg

Hot Shot
01-29-2011, 12:59 PM
I don't remember many time I've been drunk, at least not in depth. I remember one time me and my buddies went to south London to pick up some of the green stuff from a mate of mine. Seeing as we live in North London, we couldn't wait to have some of it so we bought a bunch of drinks and went to a local park to smoke it. We eventually lost track of time and got locked in the park, so we tried to look for a way out. Unfortunately, all the gate were locked and we weren't in the right state to climb a seven foot gate. I suggested we stay in the park until it unlocks in the morning. Little did I know that it would become extremely cold at night (it was summer, who'd have thought it) and time was going really slowly so we had to huddle together for warmth. One of my buddies fell asleep standing up and stated to freak us out because we would shout his name and he wouldn't reply.

After many hours, I grew impatient and desperate. I tried to squeeze under one of the gates (not a great idea, I almost got stuck) so we circled the perimeter of the park and decided to climb the easiest gate. I got over first and then my other buddy did, but the one who fell asleep standing up let go of the gate whilst climbing so we had to grab him so he wouldn't break his neck or crack his skull open.

So on our way back, I realised that the park was about to open in an houur or so and i was pissed off that we spent most of the night in the park and climbed over just before it opened when we could have easily climbed over it hours before hand. When we got back to North London, we headed to our favourite 24hr bagle shop and got some food (we had sever munchies) and headed home.

Zeldy
01-29-2011, 05:35 PM
Funnily enough, I don't have so many. I seem to drink so much that I get passed the "off your tits" stage and become partially unconscious. I'm usually found head over a toilet, or sat slumped in a corner. There was one time, though, when I was kicked out of a club for being obviously too drunk. I was thrown out the back door and I fell over into some glass that was obviously some smashed bottle on the floor. Blood dripping down my legs, I'm crying because I can't find my bag. Due to how much I was bleeding, I was admitted straight into the club through the front door and cleaned up. I went back in the club and danced away..

At a New Years party I got wasted in a very short period of time as I basically finished my entire bottle of vodka in about an hour. I've been told that I fell over in a door way, and was later serenaded as a joke as I was being sick in the bathroom.

NorthernChaosGod
01-29-2011, 06:40 PM
I have a couple of stories, but I don't feel like typing them. :monster:

Jiro
01-30-2011, 01:07 AM
ITT Julian is lame. Laaaaame

Shorty
01-30-2011, 02:55 AM
I don't think Julian actually has any stories. Because he's lame.

NorthernChaosGod
01-30-2011, 07:46 AM
I think you just want me to tell my stories.

Bunny
01-30-2011, 08:02 AM
I am currently drunk and without clothes.

G13
01-30-2011, 09:08 AM
I think you just want me to tell my stories.

That's usually the case with these kinds of threads.

Old Manus
01-30-2011, 02:05 PM
So that's what I've been doing wrong all these years

NorthernChaosGod
01-30-2011, 06:56 PM
I think you just want me to tell my stories.

That's usually the case with these kinds of threads.

You can't make me, maaaan.

Madonna
01-31-2011, 02:51 AM
Dear NorthernChaosGod,

We would like to remind you: put up or shut up.

Cheers,

Us (Not to be confused with You)

***

I hear about my own drunk stories, not tell them. I am, of course, too hammered to remember anything. The last time I was proper trashed, I woke up to an angry lesbian (her girlfriend was not angry). A story previous to that, I woke up in a running cold shower, face near the drain (how clever the cleanup). One early morning, my phone screams at me and I answer, only to have my mother scream at me for calling her at midnight to tell her she was a grandmother (best prank ever). One day after Halloween I found I was not wearing any panties (I dressed as a transvestite prostitute; normal attire enough). Yet another time, I eventually realized I was walking home wearing a girl's turtleneck sweater and sans pants (I somehow kept my keys). I refrain from drinking heavily now.

G13
01-31-2011, 11:10 AM
I got coaxed into a Prom dress once. I got m'hurr did and everything. Pictures were taken and probably put on a friend's Myspace. I only saw them once and had no desire to keep any copies for myself. I don't drink with those friends anymore.

NorthernChaosGod
01-31-2011, 03:39 PM
I got coaxed into a Prom dress once. I got m'hurr did and everything. Pictures were taken and probably put on a friend's Myspace. I only saw them once and had no desire to keep any copies for myself. I don't drink with those friends anymore.

I didn't know you were such a Pretty Pretty Princess.

Peegee
01-31-2011, 03:40 PM
This threads seems as good a place as any to ask: There's studies that say that alcohol prevents the production of short-term memories. I cannot produce long term memories in the short-term - most days just pass as a blur of inane insanity until a month has passed, then suddenly I'll have a crystal clear recollection of the events in question.

For people who have blacked out or what-not, what is it like? I don't think I've ever blacked out - you should be cognizant of your surroundings or you would simply be arrested or stopped/taken advantaged of/etc. I can't imagine somebody completely out of his mind being able to find his way to anywhere.

sharkythesharkdogg
01-31-2011, 05:50 PM
This threads seems as good a place as any to ask: There's studies that say that alcohol prevents the production of short-term memories. I cannot produce long term memories in the short-term - most days just pass as a blur of inane insanity until a month has passed, then suddenly I'll have a crystal clear recollection of the events in question.

For people who have blacked out or what-not, what is it like? I don't think I've ever blacked out - you should be cognizant of your surroundings or you would simply be arrested or stopped/taken advantaged of/etc. I can't imagine somebody completely out of his mind being able to find his way to anywhere.

I've experienced sleep functioning before. I used to work long night shifts, and there is at least one time in particular I can remember getting into my car to head home from work. I sat down, and closed my eyes for a minute to rest. The next thing I can remember is opening my eyes again and being in my driveway. It was about a 30 mile trip, but I couldn't remember any of it. Pretty scary.

I think being very drunk probably can pt you on auto pilot in sort of the same manner.

NorthernChaosGod
01-31-2011, 07:00 PM
This threads seems as good a place as any to ask: There's studies that say that alcohol prevents the production of short-term memories. I cannot produce long term memories in the short-term - most days just pass as a blur of inane insanity until a month has passed, then suddenly I'll have a crystal clear recollection of the events in question.

For people who have blacked out or what-not, what is it like? I don't think I've ever blacked out - you should be cognizant of your surroundings or you would simply be arrested or stopped/taken advantaged of/etc. I can't imagine somebody completely out of his mind being able to find his way to anywhere.

Lol. People can't describe blacking out, the whole idea is that you don't remember anything. :p

And since you guys bitch about posting, I have a good black out story for you fucks.

This was my buddy's first year up at UC Santa Barbara and I had decided to take a trip up with another friend to stay the weekend. In preparation and celebration of our arrival, my buddy has gotten us two handles of liquor (one Capt Mo and one Cuervo) and a case of beer for our second night there, as there was already a party for us on Friday.

We start of Saturday night by playing a Halo drinking game, every time you get a kill you take a shot. I took the opportunity to gain easy kills by shooting everyone when they were taking their shots. Which ended up with me taking about 12 or so shots in the span of a few minutes.

At this point we hear of a dorm dance going on so we decide to go down and check it out. There's moshing and slam dancing going on between me and my buddies, and then we all calm down a bit and actually start dancing with girls like we should have been. We all get bored after about an hour so we head back up to my buddies room to try and find something to do for the rest of the night.

We're sitting around trying to find a plan and I just want to drink more, so at this point I just start chugging from the bottle of rum while they talk about going out to get some food. No one can decided on a Goddamned thing so we just decide to head back to this girl's room to watch a movie.

Then I wake up in bed without a fucking clue as to what happened for the rest of the night.

Apparently I had left with a girl back to my buddy's room for "privacy". After a while I went to wash up in the sink and just stood there and passed out. Breaking his towel rack in the process.

My friends had come to check up on me later and found me there still in the sink. They were asking me questions and I'd just grunt at them in response. The dicks just leave me and go back with the other girls.

Then they find me in bed and freak out and need to go check to see if I'm breathing. I am so they all pass out.

And then I wake up. Ta-da!

G13
01-31-2011, 09:48 PM
I got coaxed into a Prom dress once. I got m'hurr did and everything. Pictures were taken and probably put on a friend's Myspace. I only saw them once and had no desire to keep any copies for myself. I don't drink with those friends anymore.

I didn't know you were such a Pretty Pretty Princess.

Best not be underestimatin' me again, biiiiiitch.

Bunny
01-31-2011, 10:35 PM
That is a very boring story, NCG. I am not impressed by your drunken antics.

D-.

G13
01-31-2011, 10:52 PM
Holy :bou::bou::bou::bou:, you're right. I didn't bother reading it at first but there's absolutely nothing interesting in that story. Where's the embarrassing situations? That just sounds like a typical night of drinking, bro.

NorthernChaosGod
01-31-2011, 11:54 PM
That's all you're getting because fuck you.

Iceglow
02-01-2011, 12:23 AM
Holy :bou::bou::bou::bou:, you're right. I didn't bother reading it at first but there's absolutely nothing interesting in that story. Where's the embarrassing situations? That just sounds like a typical night of drinking, bro.

Wait, no, there is one thing embarassing about this story and it's really obvious...



We start of Saturday night by playing a Halo drinking game, every time you get a kill you take a shot. I took the opportunity to gain easy kills by shooting everyone when they were taking their shots. Which ended up with me taking about 12 or so shots in the span of a few minutes.


Dude the idea of drinking games is to get everyone else fucked up whilst you retain most of your senses then you get to abuse them later when they pass out before you. You getting to drink a shot everytime you get a kill is doing it fucking wrong. Should've been them drinking everytime they got killed!

NorthernChaosGod
02-01-2011, 12:33 AM
Dude the idea of drinking games is to get everyone else fucked up whilst you retain most of your senses then you get to abuse them later when they pass out before you. You getting to drink a shot everytime you get a kill is doing it fucking wrong. Should've been them drinking everytime they got killed!
We all wanted to get drunk. :|

Iceglow
02-01-2011, 01:24 AM
And you do but it's common knowlege that the person who gets drunk during the drinking games unless they have a constitution of iron will pass out first. This leaves them vunerable to all the different levels of abuse that can happen to a person on a night out. You then get drunk at your own pace and laugh at the bastard passed out in the corner. I am however someone whose constitution is almost iron bound and can handle "losing" a drinking game and getting through a night, you sir clearly cannot.

NorthernChaosGod
02-01-2011, 01:26 AM
I challenge you to drink about 1.5 liters of rum in the same time span and remember the night.

G13
02-01-2011, 01:39 AM
Battle of the egos! Who will win?

Bunny
02-01-2011, 01:50 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Iceglow
02-01-2011, 02:20 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Yeah your own ego already eclipses everything Bunny it's like how Julian's mom's ass blots out the sun every other year when people think that theres an eclipse, really she's just rolling over.

NorthernChaosGod
02-01-2011, 02:34 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Why is your avatar static? >:[

Bunny
02-01-2011, 02:47 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Yeah your own ego already eclipses everything Bunny it's like how Julian's mom's ass blots out the sun every other year when people think that theres an eclipse, really she's just rolling over.

Are we really doing mom jokes? What are we, 12 and stuck in the 90s?


Why is your avatar static? >:[

Good question.

sharkythesharkdogg
02-01-2011, 03:14 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Yeah your own ego already eclipses everything Bunny it's like how Julian's mom's ass blots out the sun every other year when people think that theres an eclipse, really she's just rolling over.

Are we really doing mom jokes? What are we, 12 and stuck in the 90s?



Your mom is 12, and stuck in the 90's. Burn!

Iceglow
02-01-2011, 04:12 AM
Neither. Both are losers already.

Yeah your own ego already eclipses everything Bunny it's like how Julian's mom's ass blots out the sun every other year when people think that theres an eclipse, really she's just rolling over.

Are we really doing mom jokes? What are we, 12 and stuck in the 90s?



Your mom is 12, and stuck in the 90's. Burn!

Didn't realize she was stuck in the 90's, I thought she was stuck in Fritzl's basement since the 90's....what, too soon? Ok, the 80's then.

Bunny
02-01-2011, 04:18 AM
Yawn.

sharkythesharkdogg
02-01-2011, 05:38 AM
Yawn.

Your mom yawnded. Jeez, it's like he's just giving these to me.

I'm so AWESOME! :cool:

I'm gonna go eat Spaghettios and watch some ALF reruns with my other super cool friends. Later chumps.

G13
02-01-2011, 06:13 AM
So uh, are we gonna talk about booze some more?

Jiro
02-01-2011, 06:27 AM
On Schoolies I got drunk and shut myself in a closet where I serenaded myself. There was also these two army dudes who were visiting a friend of mine and we went down to the beach and Army Dude 2 was like "oh man I'll go hit this guy in the back of the head and then you finish him off and we'll run away". The buff army guy wants me to "finish him off"... right. He also told me to go swimming but I couldn't walk straight.

Remon
02-01-2011, 10:08 AM
You kids really love to brag about your drunk stories don't ya? :bigsmile:

Old Manus
02-01-2011, 11:28 AM
Thread has now become among the worst ever

Peegee
02-01-2011, 01:51 PM
This is what happens when certain folk post and derail the thread with boring stories.

Manny
02-03-2011, 02:45 AM
You all fill me with happiness.

sharkythesharkdogg
02-03-2011, 05:02 AM
Drunk stories are always good for a laugh. Like at Mardi Gras, where my friend disappeared. We found him 8 hours later in a parking lot asleep under a car because he thought it was his. No shirt, covered in dirt, and a plastic banjo craddled in his arms......

First and last Mardi Gras.

Cuchulainn
02-05-2011, 02:00 AM
I could win this thread if I could only be arsed. Also,


I've never been drunk.
I hate alcohol -.-

HEATHEN

G13
02-05-2011, 02:07 AM
Oh god, dude. All you would have to do is post a picture and you'd win the thread.

Remon
02-05-2011, 02:21 PM
I could win this thread if I could only be arsed. Also,


I've never been drunk.
I hate alcohol -.-

HEATHEN

But what's there to like?
You're prone to doing anything
You vomit
You say stuff you had better not said
You feel like :bou::bou::bou::bou: the next day

My friend sexed a traffic light. Another one ran over a chicken. Yet another one threw up on her bed and slept on her vomit the entire night. -.-

What's there to like? :confused:

I hope I didn't kill the mood...

NorthernChaosGod
02-05-2011, 08:32 PM
Even water in excess can kill you. Don't be a dick, be a dude.

Remon
02-05-2011, 08:48 PM
5 glasses of water will never kill you -.-

Iceglow
02-05-2011, 09:53 PM
And unless you're incredibly stupid with it 5 glasses of alcohol will never kill you either. But yes you can die from drinking too much water, basically you become over hydrated and drown on your own lungs. Awesome. At least with alcohol there is generally for most people a time when they sit there and think "hey I best not have anymore" if they are smart they'll listen to themselves when that point occurs, if they're stupid they'll carry on drinking and pass out, if they're stupid and unlucky they might end up in hospital.

Edit: and before you say it, drinking alcohol is a ton more sociable than drinking water, drinking alcohol is no fun if done alone so therefore people congregate together to get wrecked and yes, it is in fact more sociable for all the reasons you, Remon posted as a bad thing, the lack of inhibitions (consider the pro's the phrase dutch courage for example a shy person can approach someone after a couple of drinks and tell them what they believe/feel ect) the stupid things we do when drunk (the pro here being it's creating those stories what stick with you for life and when you get married provide the best man with the things he will undoubtedbly say in his speech), the saying things you shouldn't (see the inihibition thing, some people who are subjugated by boisterous friends will actually open up when drunk and let them know it's not something they're happy with) there are as many pro's to alcohol as there are con's and no one sympathises more than a drinker sympathises to a hung over person.

Bunny
02-05-2011, 10:17 PM
Motherfucking periods.

Remon
02-05-2011, 10:29 PM
I will not argue about the alcohol-water death rate because it's ridiculous.
And I guess nobody is smart enough to say "I've had enough". I'm sure you would have loved taking a look at the streets in my city at new year's. They were full of vomit and fight aftermaths everywhere. I'm not sure if you can call that a celebration.
Also, you can drink water AND socialize. A friend of mine ordered tea at a party once. And now whenever we go somewhere we always make a joke about it. So yeah, even not drinking can create fun stories.
I guess i should stress the difference between drinking and getting drunk a bit, because I'm talking about drunkenness. That's what i meant when i said "I hate alcohol". I hate it's effects. For me it's okay to have a few drinks or so. At least until you're able to control yourself. If you cross the line then it's not fine with me. And people my age always cross that line. I will not even mention the drugs...
I'll stop here because the topic is about booze and not about not drinking booze.

Cuchulainn
02-05-2011, 10:37 PM
And unless you're incredibly stupid with it 5 glasses of alcohol will never kill you either. But yes you can die from drinking too much water, basically you become over hydrated and drown on your own lungs. Awesome. At least with alcohol there is generally for most people a time when they sit there and think "hey I best not have anymore" if they are smart they'll listen to themselves when that point occurs,

I do not have that voice. I stop when the barman pulls the shutters down or rings the bell. Anything less is a cop out.

Also. Skream is God.

Iceglow
02-05-2011, 11:02 PM
And unless you're incredibly stupid with it 5 glasses of alcohol will never kill you either. But yes you can die from drinking too much water, basically you become over hydrated and drown on your own lungs. Awesome. At least with alcohol there is generally for most people a time when they sit there and think "hey I best not have anymore" if they are smart they'll listen to themselves when that point occurs,

I do not have that voice. I stop when the barman pulls the shutters down or rings the bell. Anything less is a cop out.

Also. Skream is God.

Agreed and well um agreed!

NorthernChaosGod
02-06-2011, 12:38 AM
I think for once I can agree with one of Steve's tl;dr posts.

Bunny
02-06-2011, 12:56 AM
I have a gin and tonic.

G13
02-06-2011, 01:10 AM
But what's there to like?

...

My friend sexed a traffic light. Another one ran over a chicken.

Prime examples of what there is to like about alcohol. How many of us can claim to have gone all the way with a traffic light?

It's stories like that that make the wicked hangover and slip-of-the-tongue moments worth it.

Shorty
02-06-2011, 01:13 AM
Bunny just became my favorite person on this forum.

Bunny
02-06-2011, 02:05 AM
I have another gin and tonic.

:)

Jiro
02-06-2011, 10:45 AM
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd61/Seiken_Bushido/Personal/Random%20Locked%20Stuff/DrunkTalesofDrunk.png

Let me flesh this story out a little bit. I was at a party and we got tossed out onto the street, so we all hit up this local park. Those spinny things, I don't even know what they're called, well I decided to spin really fast on them. I was dizzy as fuck, but thought I'd try and sprint. I have pretty good balance and I'm fast so I thought it'd be cool.

Well I took about four or five steps and then the next thing I knew, my face was in that barky stuff and my legs were up in the air at like, 45 degrees or something. It's like my head suddenly weighed a ton and I just face planted. The comic is cooler though.

Old Manus
02-06-2011, 12:43 PM
I have a gin and tonic.Enjoy your oestrogen

NorthernChaosGod
02-06-2011, 08:55 PM
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd61/Seiken_Bushido/Personal/Random%20Locked%20Stuff/DrunkTalesofDrunk.png

Let me flesh this story out a little bit. I was at a party and we got tossed out onto the street, so we all hit up this local park. Those spinny things, I don't even know what they're called, well I decided to spin really fast on them. I was dizzy as fuck, but thought I'd try and sprint. I have pretty good balance and I'm fast so I thought it'd be cool.

Well I took about four or five steps and then the next thing I knew, my face was in that barky stuff and my legs were up in the air at like, 45 degrees or something. It's like my head suddenly weighed a ton and I just face planted. The comic is cooler though.

I fucking love that comic.

theundeadhero
02-07-2011, 04:42 PM
I tried to go all the way with a streetpole when drunk once but it didn't like that idea much and beat me up.

Jack Daniels, you often lie to me about just how hot that girl at the bar really is. One of these days we're going to both get into more trouble then we know what to do with :(

I hate people who get all mighty and self-righteous about how people who get drunk or do drugs are less worthy of a person :mad2:

Peegee
02-07-2011, 04:58 PM
I tried to go all the way with a streetpole when drunk once but it didn't like that idea much and beat me up.

Jack Daniels, you often lie to me about just how hot that girl at the bar really is. One of these days we're going to both get into more trouble then we know what to do with :(

I hate people who get all mighty and self-righteous about how people who get drunk or do drugs are less worthy of a person :mad2:

Whenever I hate drunk or high people I'm more mad that I'm not as drunk or high as they are.

So share next time.

Mystre
02-07-2011, 06:46 PM
I tried to go all the way with a streetpole when drunk once but it didn't like that idea much and beat me up.

Jack Daniels, you often lie to me about just how hot that girl at the bar really is. One of these days we're going to both get into more trouble then we know what to do with :(


One of these days Jack or Jose is going to make me wake up to Hennessy...and I am not talking about the drink there is this ghetto black girl that is always trying to rape me named Hennessy (seriously not be racist but wtf is up with some black names).

NorthernChaosGod
02-07-2011, 07:10 PM
I hate people who get all mighty and self-righteous about how people who get drunk or do drugs are less worthy of a person :mad2:
They're just mad they're boring.

Remon
02-07-2011, 07:20 PM
I hate people who get all mighty and self-righteous about how people who get drunk or do drugs are less worthy of a person :mad2:

Whoa . I never said anything of the sort. - Assuming you were referring to my post.

Bunny
02-07-2011, 09:26 PM
Is there a "too early" when it comes to consuming alcohol?

NorthernChaosGod
02-08-2011, 12:22 AM
Is there a "too early" when it comes to consuming alcohol?

No.

Jiro
02-08-2011, 06:45 AM
Too early implies there's a start and end point. Continuous alcohol consumption is how the pros do it.

Iceglow
02-08-2011, 09:47 AM
Best thing about going on a plane somewhere is that at the airport you can guarantee I will be having beer with breakfast if it's a morning flight, beer with lunch if it's an afternoon flight and beer with dinner if it's an evening flight often the best and cheapest place to eat in a uk airport is the obligatory Wetherspoons pub in the departures lounge. Let this be a lesson to all tourists to the uk, don't bother with anything else just head to the pub!

theundeadhero
02-08-2011, 01:56 PM
I'm not even from the UK and I've drunk at Wetherspoons.

Iceglow
02-09-2011, 09:47 AM
I'm not even from the UK and I've drunk at Wetherspoons.

Not only have you drunk at a Wetherspoons pub you have drunk with the two Gods of manliness that is myself and Paul :D

NorthernChaosGod
02-10-2011, 01:32 AM
Who died and made you Gods of manliness? o_O

Bunny
02-10-2011, 03:05 AM
A group of private psychologists.

fire_of_avalon
02-10-2011, 03:21 AM
So I woke up one morning in my ex's bathroom floor, naked except for a towel, wet from the shower (that was still on) and covered in cat litter. I have no idea how I ended up there, but his cat was pissed because I had locked myself in.

I got up, got back in the shower, and fell asleep for another hour.

Old Manus
02-10-2011, 01:36 PM
I woke up yesterday morning on my bed wearing nothing but my underwear, with loose change, my phone, my keys and my clothes scattered in various locations around the room. I still have no memory of what happened or how I got there. There's still a huge wet patch in the carpet in the corner where I think I had an accident.

Jiro
02-10-2011, 06:45 PM
I like how this thread seems to encourage us to go out and find ourselves some stories.

Peegee
02-10-2011, 07:37 PM
I like how this thread seems to encourage us to go out and find ourselves some stories.

Only a sober person would be ablet ot yep that wel. go and get drunk you yutz

Jiro
02-17-2011, 10:47 AM
oh man goood timing xd xf i wen tto the pub with a friend and 'becase i'm waeksauce and also because i thught we were drinking mids i knocked them back but tey wer eheavys. I'm fucked gusy. BUT GUESS WART

I CAN CONROL TIME

kotora
02-18-2011, 12:46 PM
man yesterday was pretty crazy drinking with some sociology and history teachers. Those guys are like up to date with all them internet memes. Also I didn't have to pay for the beer.

Peegee
02-18-2011, 04:42 PM
man yesterday was pretty crazy drinking with some sociology and history teachers. Those guys are like up to date with all them internet memes. Also I didn't have to pay for the beer.

when management is out with us we behave

Then they left
so we fed birthday boy shot after shot of vodka until he was a passed out mess. The manager got mad at us because he was sleeping even though I was smacking him to wake up.

After we left the bar he threw up for 10 minutes while we video taped him and laughed. Then we hit on every girl on the way to the subway like idiots. Left him there and then went drinking some more.

Got cut off at the first bar we went to because Pollack boy decided to brag to the bartender that we had 10 shots of vodka at the last bar. Dumbass. So we bar hopped a bit more and then I woke up at the office.

Iceglow
02-21-2011, 02:07 PM
I actually only just remembered this story but it's kinda funny because well I pulled and then got blown out in style. (Thanks to Ta-ti for reminding me of this with her post in the Walmart thread)

New Years Eve this year I was out drinking for the 4th night of hard partying in a row, I'd worked 2 days pissed as a mother fucker even because by this point I was beyond the point of sobering up. This song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hLQCA2h8kA) was like the theme of my week I was mashed on Tequila all the time. It was brilliant at one point I brought a round of 24 Tequila Slammers for the guys at work, I am singlehandedly responsible for 2 of my colleagues passing out and the rest being hung over to :bou::bou::bou::bou:. Hell my nickname became Tequila.

Well 4th night out hard partying in a row, dear God I felt it by that point. Tequila was cheaper than beer in the Barfly in Camden which is where my mate insisted I spend NYE partying it up with him. So by logic alone we were mostly drinking Tequila Slammers though occasionally we'd have beers or JD & coke to wash it down or space it out some. Wrecked is definitely a term for it. Considering it was my 4th night out I was physically shattered and so at one point I was sitting down and literally dozing off on the couch and this cute blonde was like "Dude, you OK? You look pretty wrecked" I explained "I'm fine, seriously just a little tired 4th night out hard partying in a row, kinda need a rest" trying to laugh it off. Though seeing her concern wasn't faded I went to the bathroom and basically woke myself up by splashing water on my face and mentally giving myself a kick up the arse with the thought process of "Dude, wake the fuck up! Come on Steve, what are you playing at? Sleeping in the bar on NYE when there's a cute blonde upstairs thinking you're passing out stop worrying the girl!" Feeling much more awake I head back up to the dance floor area and had a look to see if I could spot my friends who I was with. I found one of them but not the other and after chatting to him for a while I went to get yet another drink.

After getting myself a drink I bump in to the cute blonde who had earlier shown concern for me and she got talking with me as we danced. One thing leads to another and we end up kissing, score the Steve is in no?

Well after a few more hours like 4am or something I'm like "where the fuck are the other guys?" So I give them a phone call turns out they've pissed off from the Barfly for some reason I get told "come meet up with us here" so I'm grabbing my coat when I noticed this girl and her friends are leaving too. The girl gives me her number and wanders off slightly when one of her male friends comes over and was like "Oh you're off too?" "yeah meeting up with my friends elsewhere" "It's just you know, She doesn't want to say anything but it's probably best if you don't call her because frankly whilst we think you're a great guy when we first saw you, you seemed to be passing out and now you're fine and your eyes are huge it's quite clear you've taken something and she doesn't like drug users" I'm like wtf? at this point I mean I have dark eyes which are perhaps hyper reactive to light sources but I basically got told that because instead of going sleep I could wake up and be my usual self I was on drugs.

Still whilst that was a bit weird the night was not a complete loss. I got very friendly with one of the barmaids in the Barfly that night she'd started the night out doing the Tequila tray and after seeing me and my mates a lot doing that when I was outside the club at one point phoning a couple of people to wish them happy new year she was there on break with a couple of cans of beer. We got chatting bout stuff randomly because I couldn't get through on the phone to people the networks were clogged up still. Which prompted me and her to share a couple of beers and smokes. When I got inside she was like "Tequila time?" to me at the bar and I was like "I have no idea where the other two are though and it's sad doing it alone" so she gave me 3 free Tequila slammers and got herself 3 Tequilas and drunk Tequila Time with me :) and when I was leaving she was outside and gave me a hug and said "see you soon" I did drop in for a drink there recently and she was like "Didn't think I'd see you again, whats it gonna be? Tequila?" So I kinda made an impression there.

Peegee
02-22-2011, 08:25 PM
Let this be a lesson to limit your alcohol consumption when hitting on girls in public. I didn't say don't drink, but damn Steve, your BAC must be way beyond illegal (for driving derp) that night.

edit: I'm not going to name names, but somebody was too drunk for their own good yesterday and demanded my company. Somebody from EoFF :aimmad:

Iceglow
02-22-2011, 10:20 PM
Nah fuck it being a lesson for me lol. It was a lesson in somehow creating a good impression on the hotter girl whilst ending up with pulling just the hot girl how can I consider this bad? Though the drugs comment made me laugh a lot afterwards because frankly it's not the first time I heard that either. I first heard that I look like I'm on pills in a low light level environment when I was like 14 and still in high school and had only just begun smoking cigarettes, I didn't get involved with any drugs other than Alcohol until I was 17.

Personally I think my BAC from Boxing Day through 'til about 3 days past NYE was way, way too high for anything remotely akin to driving, hell I should've been too pissed to walk really. 4 nights of hard partying on Tequila do not go down on your gut well.

NorthernChaosGod
02-22-2011, 11:20 PM
Someone sum up the story, that post is massive.

Bunny
02-22-2011, 11:21 PM
Iceglow got really drunk. Iceglow got laid. Iceglow is a god of both drinking and sexxing.

Peegee
02-22-2011, 11:23 PM
I think the only thing a cop can cite you for is public drunkeness, right? Because I hope to God you didn't drive (only bc as much as I argue against it, one's reaction speed when drunk is miserable)

I'm just trying to figure out if getting massively drunk can be an arrestable offense.

NorthernChaosGod
02-22-2011, 11:29 PM
Iceglow got really drunk. Iceglow got laid. Iceglow is a god of both drinking and sexxing.

Okay, same stuff he always posts.

oddler
02-28-2011, 04:49 AM
I don't drink. But my brother will love me forever for these.

A bunch of us were partying at a friend's house and most of us passed out in the basement. In the middle of the night, this girl wakes up and hears this trickling noise behind her so she rolls over on the bed, opening her eyes. About a foot away from her is my brother, standing next to the bed, pissing in the floor right in front of her. He just puts it back in and goes to lay down again. :rock:

Another time, I woke up in my apartment and got ready to go out for some breakfast or something, don't really remember. Anyway, I step outside and there's this pile of crap on the steps. Awesome. Fucking dogs. I go get some food and come back, noticing that the pile is no longer there. My cousin comes over later. It turns out that he partied with my brother the night before and my brother was so wasted that he didn't want to hold it until he got inside. So he just squatted on the steps. Oh yeah. And there was another pile in his truck, as well. :Oo:

Rantz
02-28-2011, 07:35 AM
Wow, your brother needs some serious drunk potty training.