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Yar
02-16-2011, 04:07 AM
I think this weekend I want to write some really dirty stories.

I have some naughty ideas in mind, :jokey: but I need to find a way to meld them all together.

Do you write or draw :shifty: erotic arts? If so, whom do you show them to and why do you write/draw these? :p

ALSO: Extra points for sharing smut that involves EoFFers

Shiny
02-16-2011, 04:29 AM
Da smurf. Well, I've always wanted to take pictures of hot naked people with paint on them. I have a friend who poses naked in pictures because he thinks it's arty. He's the type that does yoga. Anyway, I actually spoke with him today so my dream my be happening sooner then later.I go to an art school so a large number of the people I know have done porn, or posed nude, shot nude photos, or draw nude people. *shrug*

blackmage_nuke
02-16-2011, 04:43 AM
Some times I doodle erotic body parts on other people's notebooks when theyre not looking but other than that no.

Bunny
02-16-2011, 05:56 AM
I go to an art school so a large number of the people I know have done porn

Totally convinced me to go to art school.

Freya
02-16-2011, 07:06 AM
I drew smut the other day! First time ever doing that, I was impressed with how much my artistic skills have improved. SMUT SMUT SMUT

Jiro
02-16-2011, 07:26 AM
I still have the mentality of a 12 year old so any time I feel like writing anything smutty I just giggle uncontrollably.

Steve
02-16-2011, 10:16 AM
When one of my friends read the stuff I wrote for a game I was on the development team for she asked me if I thought I had any limitations to what I could turn my hand to and I was kinda like "hmm I don't really know" so she immediately challenged me to write some erotic fiction for her as a joke not expecting me to actually do it. It was the first time I wrote erotica and yet the end result seemed to have it's desired effect. I don't generally go around writing erotica on a regular basis I more tend to do it by request (the acceptance of the request is my choice) or if I feel like it will be welcomed by the person I am writing for.

Other things I have done include erotic photography and film making (home made porn ftw) I do have a friend who has requested me to be both her camera and sound man for a lesbian jelly fight she intends on having at some point I was just like "So...when and where?"

cloud_doll
02-16-2011, 06:48 PM
I sometimes write it. I'm one of those people who hate using dirty words, so substitute them with modest ones...So my stories are kinda modest =/
Whenever I draw woman I always draw them nude. I just think the female form is very beautiful! I also think men have beautiful bodies, but they're very difficult to draw =/

Madonna
02-16-2011, 07:07 PM
ALSO: Extra points for sharing smut that involves EoFFers
Visit an erotic literature site.
Find a story which you think suits your needs.
Use Ctrl+H or the equivalent in your favorite .doc/.txt reader and replace all previous names with names of people you love/hate.
Everything is suddenly funnier/hotter.

Peegee
02-16-2011, 07:14 PM
ALSO: Extra points for sharing smut that involves EoFFers
Visit an erotic literature site.
Find a story which you think suits your needs.
Use Ctrl+H or the equivalent in your favorite .doc/.txt reader and replace all previous names with names of people you love/hate.
Everything is suddenly funnier/hotter.

You really don't want me to do that.

Shlup
02-16-2011, 08:30 PM
One night I dreamt a dirty story, and when I woke up I wrote it down. It's super hot.

And I'm not sharing.

Peegee
02-16-2011, 08:33 PM
One night I dreamt a dirty story, and when I woke up I wrote it down. It's super hot.

And I'm not sharing.

oh yeah well this one time in band camp asl

theundeadhero
02-16-2011, 09:11 PM
When I was like 13 I drew a bunch of women in their underwear.

Madonna
02-16-2011, 11:48 PM
ALSO: Extra points for sharing smut that involves EoFFers
Visit an erotic literature site.
Find a story which you think suits your needs.
Use Ctrl+H or the equivalent in your favorite .doc/.txt reader and replace all previous names with names of people you love/hate.
Everything is suddenly funnier/hotter.

You really don't want me to do that.
Yes, yes I do. Please send me the resulting story via Mognet.

Peegee
02-17-2011, 12:06 AM
I can't send pms or I would

wait I can pg band incoming

Rostum
02-17-2011, 12:31 AM
I went through a stage last year of drawing naked females in a surrealist way. I like drawing boobs, they are fun.

NorthernChaosGod
02-17-2011, 01:17 AM
One night I dreamt a dirty story, and when I woke up I wrote it down. It's super hot.

And I'm not sharing.

You're Stephanie Meyer?

Clo
02-17-2011, 03:16 AM
This forum is smut.

Laddy
02-17-2011, 03:44 AM
Can I be involved?

Jiro
02-17-2011, 05:44 AM
I like the name replacing idea Lynx had. Everyone should do it.

Yar
02-17-2011, 07:22 AM
If you replace all names with only one name, it ends up being really strange faporama stuff

Shlup
02-17-2011, 07:12 PM
One night I dreamt a dirty story, and when I woke up I wrote it down. It's super hot.

And I'm not sharing.

You're Stephanie Meyer?

Except I'm not Mormon so MOAR PENETRATION.

Peegee
02-17-2011, 09:51 PM
Can I be involved?

Good idea. If I remember to do this and PM it, you will be in the story.

NorthernChaosGod
02-17-2011, 11:55 PM
One night I dreamt a dirty story, and when I woke up I wrote it down. It's super hot.

And I'm not sharing.

You're Stephanie Meyer?

Except I'm not Mormon so MOAR PENETRATION.

I'll take five.

Laddy
02-18-2011, 02:33 AM
Can I be involved?

Good idea. If I remember to do this and PM it, you will be in the story.
Yes!

Jiro
02-18-2011, 02:35 AM
Good sex would not save Twilight

Madonna
02-18-2011, 05:11 AM
Unabashedly stolen from the Internet. Thank you, Internet, for the goldmine of horror you visit upon us.


All of this is happening in a little place called Balamb Garden...

***

Kentarou entered the last few words to the report, hit the save button and started to print it.

"There, we're done," said Kentarou with a relieved look on his face.

"Whoo-hoo!" exclaimed Tuhkasieni, almost asleep from boredom. "I thought it was never going to end."

"Me too. What was Instructor Rye thinking? Making us write a 10 page essay on Old Manus."

"She probably fancies him," Tuhkasieni said laughing.

"Probably."

"I'm gonna scoot and go see ScottNUMBERS now."

"Okay. See ya later. Your coming to the concert with me and Miss_Lulu aren't ya?"

"Yep. Me and Scotty will see you there. Bye!" Tuhkasieni said walking up to the door.

She went to open it, tugging at the door, but it wouldn't open.

"Erm…Kentarou, is this door locked?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"The door won't open," she said tugging at the door again.

"Let me see," Kentarou grabbed at the door and pulled, but it still wouldn't open. He grabbed the key off the desk and put it in the lock.

"Weird. The door's open. It must be stuck."

"But I gotta meet ScottNUMBERS."

"Let's just try together. Then we should be able to get it open." Kentarou and Tuhkasieni grabbed the door and started pulling as hard as they could, but the door wouldn't budge.

"Stand back," said Kentarou, holding a hand out to push Tuhkasieni back. He took a few steps back and ran at the door, barging it with his shoulder. He tried a few more times but the door stayed as stuck as ever.

"Oh my Hyne! We're stuck! What are we going to do? I don't wanna die here!" Tuhkasieni screamed panicking.

"We're not going to," said Kentarou, grabbing Tuhkasieni to calm her down.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Let's try something different. If we bang on the door maybe someone will hear us." Tuhkasieni nodded, slightly unsure and scared. They both started banging the door and screaming desperate cried for help. They continued until they collapsed exhausted.

Tuhkasieni fell to the bed, tears forming in her eyes. "I wanna see my Scotty," she whimpered.

Kentarou sat down on the chair, looking at Tuhkasieni. (Man, Tuhkasieni is sexy. She sure does have a good body…Wait…Think about Miss_Lulu, she's my girlfriend. Just because I'm locked in a room with a woman doesn't mean I have to shag her…or could I? No! Stop thinking like that, think about Miss_Lulu)

Kentarou got up and walked past Tuhkasieni so he wouldn't be looking at her anymore. He headed up the window and looked outside. It was a beautiful day today. Not a cloud in the sky. The sun lit up the surrounding mountains magnificently. Down below a few young children were playing about running around reminding Kentarou of when he was a child.

(Why did I never join in? I could have had lots of fun. Oh well…No point looking back. Just look forward.)

"Great idea, Kentarou," Tuhkasieni said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Huh? What?"

"Climb out the window. Good idea."

"You gotta be kidding."

"Why? Then we can jump down to the Quad."

"Have you even looked out my window before?"

"No."

"There's nothing below the window. Just air. Lots and lots of air."

"Really? Let's see." She jumped up making her breasts jump about in her yellow dress.

(Miss_Lulu. Miss_Lulu. Miss_Lulu. Think Miss_Lulu…Tuhkasieni's breasts. Breasts. Naked Tuhkasieni. Stop! Snap out of it! I love Miss_Lulu. Think about Miss_Lulu)

As Tuhkasieni passed by Kentarou she took a quick glimpse at his bum. ~Wow…what a nice butt! I'd love to squeeze it, then, then, have sex. Kentarou is such a hunk! But it could hurt ScottNUMBERS. Yeah, but he always checks out other girls. And I could hurt Miss_Lulu. How would they know? They're not here. Sex. Sex. Sex. No resist…I love ScottNUMBERS. Kentarou's just convenient. ScottNUMBERS. ScottNUMBERS. ScottNUMBERS.~

Tuhkasieni collapsed back on to the bed after looking out the window. Kentarou joined her by sitting next to her.

(Sex. Sex. Sex.)

~ Sex. Sex. Sex.~

Kentarou looked awkwardly over to Tuhkasieni. Tuhkasieni turned her head to look at him with the same look on her face.

"Sex?" Kentarou asked quietly.

"What?"

"Sex?" He asked more loudly this time.

"I don't think so. What about Miss_Lulu and ScottNUMBERS? Maybe I would if they weren't involved."

"Really?"

"No. I was joking." Tuhkasieni let out a burst of nervous laughter.

"I was joking as well," Kentarou joined in with Tuhkasienis nervous laughter. They met eye contact, then quickly turned away from each other.

(Man, this is hard. I gotta resist. This shouldn't be so hard. We're just friends.)

Kentarou returned his gaze to Tuhkasieni once again. He shuffled closer towards her.

(What the hell am I doing? Doing what I want to do.)

Kentarou leaned closer towards Tuhkasienis face. He finally gave into temptation and kissed Tuhkasieni gently on the lips. He put his hand on her chin and pulled her closer to him and kissed her again. Tuhkasieni pulled away from him and smiled. She ripped off Kentarous shirt and pushed him on to the bed. She started to climb on to him when a sound interrupted them.

DING DING DING

Tuhkasieni quickly stood up stepping away from Kentarou, as realisation of what she was about to do hit her.

"We are sorry for the lock down on the dorms," said a voice over the loud speaker. "We have had reports that someone had smuggled in illegal cactaur thorns to Garden. Thank you for cooperating with us during this time."

"I've gotta go," Tuhkasieni said running out the door quickly before Kentarou would try to talk to her. She poked her back round the door. "Oh and this never happened. Okay?" Kentarou nodded. "Good." Tuhkasieni said before running from the dorm.

(Damn, I can't believe I was just about to do that.) Kentarou thought guiltily.

Meanwhile in another dorm…

"We're locked in." Miss_Lulu said, pulling at the door.

"Wanna have sex then?" ScottNUMBERS asked slyly.

"What about Kentarou and Tuhkasieni. I don't want to cheat on them."

"It's only cheating if you get caught."

"Good point. Fine, let's have sex then."

THE END

***


Guardian XIII slammed his locker door shut, the metallic clang echoing in the mostly empty hallway of Balamb High. He stuffed his books into his bag, then shrugged his leather jacket on; it wasn't particularly cold outside, but it was his favorite. Avoiding the stray couples in the hallway, he slipped out of the two story building, heading for the large, white marble fountain and sitting on the edge.

It was Valentine's day. Guardian XIII despised Valentine's day. Hell, despise wasn't even a strong enough word. He hated it with all his being. He scowled at the red and pink heart shaped balloons people carried here and there, and the couples kissing each other goodbye until their plans later that night. He tugged his sketchpad from his bag, then dug for a pencil. With a mute sigh, he flipped it open to his most recent piece of work: a lion holding a human heart in its mouth.

Why did he hate a holiday dedicated to something so… sweet? Because it seemed like it was created to rub love in the face of anyone who didn't have a partner? 'Because it's so utterly pointless. Because it's a commercial holiday. Because sometimes, people forget.'

He reached into his jacket pocket and fished out his ear buds, slipping them in and turning his iPod on. His mother had told him that morning that she would be late picking him up. Clo, his little sister, had a doctor's appointment today. He didn't mind waiting, especially not for Clo. That six year old was Guardian XIII's favorite person, next to his mother, Laddy. They were his world.

'She doesn't have a care in the world.'

"Guardian XIII!"

The brunette jerked his head up from his sketchpad, scowling. A tall, tanned blond was rushing towards him from the school parking lot, gently pushing a girl out of his way. He had on a simple pair of gray sweats and a tank top that clung to his muscular chest. His varsity jacket was unzipped, and his sneakered feet moved quietly across the cement. Glimmering emerald eyes met a stormy blue death glare.

NorthernChaosGod. He shoved his ipod, sketchpad, and pencil back into his bag before quickly climbing to his feet. No sign of his mother's minivan yet, so he decided he'd walk. He had his cell phone, and she had hers. He'd call her on the way. 'And I won't have to put up with Captain Asshole.'

"Guardian XIII, wait!"

'Like hell.'

Immediately, the brunette turned and started in the opposite direction, his boot-clad feet moving as quickly as they could. It didn't take NorthernChaosGod long to catch up, however, and soon they were walking side by side, down a quiet street towards Guardian XIII's house. The brunette pinched the bridge of his nose and slowed to a halt, the blond following suit a few moments later.

"What the hell do you want, NorthernChaosGod?"

NorthernChaosGod turned, scuffing his sneaker against the sidewalk. He shrugged. "Nothing."

"Then why are you following me?" Guardian XIII questioned, placing one hand on his hip.

After a moment, green eyes lifted from the ground, and NorthernChaosGod reached into the backpack carelessly hanging on his shoulder. He pulled out an envelope and held it out to the smaller boy. Guardian XIII studied the extended hand incredulously, then reached forward and took it. Eyes on the blond, who was looking anywhere but at him, he flipped it open and pulled out a card.

"The smurf?"

NorthernChaosGod had turned, and was heading down the sidewalk already. The brunette remained frozen in place, lips parted slightly as he reread the card.

Sometimes you spend so much time thinking, I worry about you. Cheer up, princess. Happy Valentine's day, Guardian XIII. I love you.

He gaped at the messy handwriting, looked up at NorthernChaosGod's retreating back, then back down at the card. He stuffed the card and envelope into his bag and took a sluggish step forward, then another, then ran to catch up with the blond. Summoning up all of the courage his slim body could muster, Guardian XIII threw his arms around NorthernChaosGod, resting his hands on NorthernChaosGod's chest, and the side of his head against the middle of his back.

NorthernChaosGod tensed up and disentangled himself from the brunette's arms, taking a step forward and turning. "What was that for?"

Guardian XIII took a hesitant step forward. "Well…" he started. He swallowed and looked up at the blond, hoping the slight blush wasn't noticeable. "Thank you."

"You thought I forgot?" the blond snorted.

"…Wouldn't be the first time you forgot a holiday."

"Hey! I didn't forget about Christmas! It just… snuck up on me."

"What—"

"Ever." NorthernChaosGod finished, then chuckled.

The brunette glowered at him, then leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips. NorthernChaosGod gladly returned it, lips quirked slightly. He leaned his forehead against Guardian XIII's, whispering a quiet "I love you".

"Love you, too." came the muttered reply.

So maybe Guardian XIII didn't hate Valentine's day after all.


***

I realize belatedly I do possess EoFF smut on my computer, but all of the people are so old to be irrelevant to the new crowd. Why are you new guys so boring that no one draws or writes you into something dirty?

Unbreakable Will
02-18-2011, 05:56 AM
While I have never written or drawn smut, ideas for erotic stories have come to mind at times.
Also, the word smut tickles my brain; smut smut smut smut smut :jess:

Rantz
02-18-2011, 08:25 AM
Except I'm not Mormon so MOAR PENETRATION.

I'll take five.

I don't think I've heard of any guy taking that many before!

Loony BoB
02-19-2011, 10:08 AM
I don't write it, I just read it. Not novels. Just the kind of stuff you can get on Literotica. Porn got boring, stories have more potential to, er, 'inspire'.

Psychotic
02-19-2011, 05:49 PM
"I'm so glad I could show you this", said Loony BoB.

"You were right, it really is beautiful" replied Del Murder.

The two were sitting atop Loony BoB's thinking rock, alone in the woods.

"I've never said this to anyone before, but Tony, I think you're a really special person, and I'm so glad you could be a part of my life" said Loony BoB, putting his hand on Del Murder's arm. Del Murder blushed and looked away, and BoB did not remove his hand. He could tell that Del was nervous, and was waiting for BoB to do all the work.

"Why are you so pretty, chipmunk?" he pressed further, now running his hands through Del Murder's greasy hair.

"I told you not to call me that!" said Del Murder, fiercely, but BoB knew Del's protests were half-hearted.

"What would you have me call you instead, hmm? Buttercup? Rose? Tulip? Of course, none of these flowers are as beautiful as you". Del Murder swelled inside. He liked hearing these things, but he was yearning for BoB to make his move, to take the next step. BoB was an old hand at this, and he knew that the longer he dragged it out, the better it would be. Of course, he couldn't take too long, else the moment would be lost.

"You're too nice to me, Daniel", simpered Del Murder, stealing a quick glance at BoB's lips. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

"Oh, I'm the lucky one." grinned BoB, and it was at that point he dived in and took the plunge.

Their lips melted together, as butter on a piece of fresh toast. The air was hot, humid, and the kiss soon followed suit, becoming more and more passionate. BoB explored with his tongue, and Del had to fight every urge in his body, for he knew this was wrong, and yet it felt so wonderful.

BoB placed his hand on Del's thigh, and Del knew what that meant.

"Oh Daniel, let's not spoil it" he said.

"Oh, I quite agree" replied the kiwi, kissing Del's neck. "We most definitely shouldn't spoil it" rubbing his hand up and down his thigh.

"Stop" moaned Del.

"I'll only stop if you want me to. Do you want me to?"

"No..."

NorthernChaosGod
02-19-2011, 08:14 PM
xD Wtf, Paul.

Unbreakable Will
02-20-2011, 01:28 AM
That was incredibly disturbing. :smug:

Hollycat
02-20-2011, 01:31 AM
I'm a writer, how much will you pay me for a story involving Eoffers

Unbreakable Will
02-20-2011, 01:35 AM
Ten NorthernChaosBucks, each one good for a deviant act with NCG himself.

Hollycat
02-20-2011, 01:37 AM
No. real cash for real story

Unbreakable Will
02-20-2011, 01:53 AM
smurf, I was sure that would work :mad:

NorthernChaosGod
02-21-2011, 01:36 AM
Ten NorthernChaosBucks, each one good for a deviant act with NCG himself.

:stare:

Hollycat
02-21-2011, 01:40 AM
Ten NorthernChaosBucks, each one good for a deviant act with NCG himself.

:stare:

your avatar is accurate at this point.



seriously,I will write dirty stories involving eoff members for money, avatars, signatures, and small roles in movies.