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View Full Version : Funny story aout Wal-mart



Yeargdribble
02-19-2011, 05:15 AM
So I've had a bit of a cold and I've been a bit malaised. I've been very slow and hazy. I also managed to get pink eye in both eyes so I look nearly demonic with how red they are.

So I went to Wal-mart while my wife was making a movie and ended up getting a fair number of snack foods that she liked (among other necessities for the house). It was a brief trip so most of the stuff looked snacky. I was in a haze with my headphones on (listening to science podcasts) while checking out. The cashier kept looking at me funny but I didn't think anything of it. She asked me a few questions and I was a) distracted by my podcast b) slow on the draw from being sick c) having trouble hearing her low murmur.

A few hours later it has finally occurred to me. She must've thought I was high out of my mind. I was spacey as hell, red-eyed like crazy and buying snack food. She though I had the munchies. She told me to have a good night with a sort of a sly grin that didn't make sense then but certainly does now.

Unbreakable Will
02-19-2011, 06:52 AM
Lol, I had a somewhat similar thing happen after a Shinedown concert; I'd been standing and jumping around for 4 and a half hours and my legs were wobbly and I was extremely tired afterward, walked into the gas station and put $20 in my tank but before I left the cashier said "Haha have fun but if you hit anyone I'll have to testify." guy thought I was drunk as hell.

Jiro
02-19-2011, 07:05 AM
I went to work the day after my 18th party and well the people must have thought I was close to death. I was pale and it was like 100 degrees so I was sweating bad and ugh man it was a bad day. I ended up going home early because I was smurfed. If I had died at least I was in a good place for it; next door to a church

Jessweeee♪
02-21-2011, 06:30 AM
One time I went to Wal-mart and this creepy guy was using bible passages and turning them into sexual innuendos to hit on my mom. And when he got tired of her ignoring him he turned to me and he was soooo creeepeeeey. Who goes from hitting on a woman to hitting on her fourteen year old daughter that looks like a twelve-year-old?!

McLovin'
02-21-2011, 07:43 AM
hahaha. You should put that on highdeas. Makes a good highstory.

Tai-Ti
02-21-2011, 08:27 AM
went to a rave in Sydney on Sat night, and I got asked a few times how many pills I'd had, and asked once if I was selling........ So apparently, I dance and jump around like I'm on ecstasy. (fyi: I'd had a ground-breaking total of zero)

Steve
02-21-2011, 02:42 PM
I would say I've never been to Walmart but then I realized Asda's in the UK is Walmart owned. So I have. Funniest story I have from a Walmart is simple.

I went in to get a friends birthday present at last minute because I forgot. By last minute we're talking it was gone 1am and I was due to meet up with her for her birthday in 5 hours. (we were going out of town to the coast for it) She'd been feeling down because her douche of a boyfriend (and my douche of a friend) was messing her around hence it was going to just be me, her and the seaside with some retail therapy thrown in to the mix. Knowing her love for chocolates I went in to get some and maybe a bunch of flowers to go with. In all honesty have you ever walked in to a 24/7 supermarket at 1am? The staff are generally freaks, didn't help I was actually high at the time but I was seriously wigged out by the time I found some suitable gift materials. The cashier was just really bouncy and happy and like me when I wasn't stoned or tired as hell which in my predicament scared the :bou::bou::bou::bou: out of me. I pretty much ran the distance back home and never went in to Asda's past 10pm again.

theundeadhero
02-21-2011, 06:35 PM
Many years ago I was Christmas shopping with my best friend at the mall one December while high. We went into a toy store and as I was walking around amazed at all the awesome stuff I told him about how I loved going into toy stores around Christmastime. They made me happy because of how they reminded me of being a kid and being happy and a bunch of other stuff, I'm sure I sounded just as high as I probably looked. As I finished telling him I looked up and sawing a lady watching us with a big smile on her face. She was also obviously very high and Christmas shopping for her kid(s).

While there I bought a big stuffed shaggy animal that smelled like berries for one of my little sisters :)

Laddy
02-21-2011, 06:47 PM
Yeargdribble, wlecome to General Chat!

My town is so small (I technically live outside of Memphis, but I just say Memphis to cover the embarassment), Wal-Mart is literally the place to hang. I hate this. I only go there to realize what I hate about Rural America.

DMKA
02-21-2011, 07:39 PM
Yeargdribble, wlecome to General Chat!

My town is so small (I technically live outside of Memphis, but I just say Memphis to cover the embarassment), Wal-Mart is literally the place to hang. I hate this. I only go there to realize what I hate about Rural America.

Bwahahaha, I remember living in Oklahoma and it being the same way. I used to tell people online about it and none of them would believe it. Go to Walmart on a Friday or Saturday night there and you see all sorts of preppy high school kids in their letter jackets hanging out in the store and go to the parking lot and college kids are parked in the parking lot with their music playing just watching the traffic go in and out. Walmart was literally the ONLY place to shop there too, so I guess it was the closest thing to a mall the kids had to waste time at. Because of this, I never go to Walmart anymore. My entire high school life is basically a sad Walmart story.

I went to the local Walmart here in Columbus, OH once and I was greeted by lots of Somalian refugees, one of them a very large woman beating her kid in the toy isle. I never went back.

kotora
02-21-2011, 08:22 PM
There's nothing funny about this corporate behemoth that tramples on local businesses, human rights and much more stuff that I can't be bothered to look up now. Walmart is basically the new version of the white man going out there and trying to colonize the world and enslave brown people.


then again I have to admit some of the stuff in this thread actually is pretty funny, especially Jesswee's story.

Shoeberto
02-21-2011, 08:41 PM
Yeargdribble, wlecome to General Chat!

My town is so small (I technically live outside of Memphis, but I just say Memphis to cover the embarassment), Wal-Mart is literally the place to hang. I hate this. I only go there to realize what I hate about Rural America.

Bwahahaha, I remember living in Oklahoma and it being the same way. I used to tell people online about it and none of them would believe it. Go to Walmart on a Friday or Saturday night there and you see all sorts of preppy high school kids in their letter jackets hanging out in the store and go to the parking lot and college kids are parked in the parking lot with their music playing just watching the traffic go in and out. Walmart was literally the ONLY place to shop there too, so I guess it was the closest thing to a mall the kids had to waste time at. Because of this, I never go to Walmart anymore. My entire high school life is basically a sad Walmart story.
The combination of this with the shady business moves are why I hate going there anymore. I still have friends that want to go hang out there whenever I visit home. It makes me sad thinking about how so much of what was/is deemed "fun" by people in those types of areas is driven purely by consumerism, with the only alternative being drugs or alcohol.

Ugh. This is making me extra sad now. I fucking hate small towns. It's all people whose lives are so pathetic such that the only things that bring them excitement are being drunk, high, or going to Wal-Mart.

DMKA
02-21-2011, 08:56 PM
Yeargdribble, wlecome to General Chat!

My town is so small (I technically live outside of Memphis, but I just say Memphis to cover the embarassment), Wal-Mart is literally the place to hang. I hate this. I only go there to realize what I hate about Rural America.

Bwahahaha, I remember living in Oklahoma and it being the same way. I used to tell people online about it and none of them would believe it. Go to Walmart on a Friday or Saturday night there and you see all sorts of preppy high school kids in their letter jackets hanging out in the store and go to the parking lot and college kids are parked in the parking lot with their music playing just watching the traffic go in and out. Walmart was literally the ONLY place to shop there too, so I guess it was the closest thing to a mall the kids had to waste time at. Because of this, I never go to Walmart anymore. My entire high school life is basically a sad Walmart story.
The combination of this with the shady business moves are why I hate going there anymore. I still have friends that want to go hang out there whenever I visit home. It makes me sad thinking about how so much of what was/is deemed "fun" by people in those types of areas is driven purely by consumerism, with the only alternative being drugs or alcohol.

Ugh. This is making me extra sad now. I smurfing hate small towns. It's all people whose lives are so pathetic such that the only things that bring them excitement are being drunk, high, or going to Wal-Mart.

Yeah, that too. Pretty much everyone who wasn't a preppy athelete hanging out at Walmart was doing drugs at some creepy person who was twice their ages' house. And everyone knew it too. And no one cared.

But then they'd go on about how the city was such a scary place to raise your kids because there's so much drugs. lol.

Bunny
02-21-2011, 09:48 PM
Every time I go to Wal-Mart 2 things occur:

1. Someone in the parking lot almost slams into the side of my car because they are not paying attention to the traffic around them.

2. I feel very dirty and sad because everyone walks around like a zombie, avoiding eye contact and trying to get the best sales on plastic crap that will break in a day or two.

I can tolerate two minutes of Wal-Mart at the most. Any more than that and I want to go on a stabbing rampage.

fire_of_avalon
02-22-2011, 02:31 AM
You guys who grew up in small towns and are all whiny just missed out on the fun stuff.

I buy pantyhose at Wal-mart. Usually because I don't buy it until I'm on my way to work and bare legged.

rubah
02-22-2011, 06:02 AM
You mean the acres and acres of beautiful fields and forest taken up by housing/urban developments during an economic bubble? I wish I'd missed that, foa.

fire_of_avalon
02-23-2011, 02:06 AM
I still have my forests and fields. I meant camping and hiking and horseback riding and swimming and all the awesome stuff I did in my small town.

NorthernChaosGod
02-23-2011, 03:40 AM
I've done all of that and I live in one of the largest cities in the US. :|

Jessweeee♪
02-23-2011, 05:40 AM
The cool thing about small towns was that I could ice the steps and sled down them into the street because nobody drove down there because only people too old to drive live in towns with less than 700 people and no grocery store. I wonder how they got food?

fire_of_avalon
02-24-2011, 02:29 AM
I've done all of that and I live in one of the largest cities in the US. :|
...your point being? I'm sure you did do all of that. I was just saying that I grew up in a small town and I didn't lead a miserable childhood or adolescence. I found :bou::bou::bou::bou: to do and did it.

oddler
02-28-2011, 05:57 AM
So, I walked into WalMart and while I was walking around, I saw someone I knew.

Happens every time.