The Doctor Is In

[Yar]

Tell me about your problems. I will solve them all for you.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I'm single.

[Citizen Bleys]

I find myself consistently unable to run at near-c velocities.

[Freya]

I find myself screaming around spiders. How do I fix?

[Madame Adequate]

If I do not ejaculate at least once every four hours, my testicles swell to the size of basketballs, which is a lot larger than their usual grapefruit size.

[Rantz]

Sometimes I lactate.

[Crop]

Someone has a gun to my head and he says he will kill me unless I don't post in this thread, what do I do?

[Shlup]

I'm having the same problem as MILF.

[Yar]

I can see that you all have many problems. Luckily I am qualified to deal with them all. :D

I'm single.
Quit restricting yourself to men. There are plenty of women out there that would love you for the pair of ears you are.

I find myself consistently unable to run at near-c velocities.
Try running faster.

I find myself screaming around spiders. How do I fix?
Do be such a big baby. It’s just a spider. Geez

Sometimes I lactate.
That’s normal for cows. Now get off the Internet and get back to the dairy.

Someone has a gun to my head and he says he will kill me unless I don't post in this thread, what do I do?
Well sounds like you’re dead already. RIP you.

If I do not ejaculate at least once every four hours, my testicles swell to the size of basketballs, which is a lot larger than their usual grapefruit size.
Fap at least once every four hours. It will reduce the swelling.

I'm having the same problem as MILF.
Circlejerk.

[Bunny]

I am slowly turning into marsupial. Is this normal?

[rubah]

I was not Raptured today. I believe I was schedule for 2 hours and 20 minutes ago. To whom do I address my complaint about the service of the Son of God?

[I Took the Red Pill]

I can't decide whether Liquid Swords or Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... is the superior album.

[NorthernChaosGod]

You're a :bou::bou::bou::bou:ty doctor.

[Yar]

I am slowly turning into marsupial. Is this normal?
Yes. Bunnies don't turn into wallabies. Bunnies turn into rabbits or at least just larger bunnies.
Unfortunately, I'm not a veteranarian. Please seek professional help. :jess:


I was not Raptured today. I believe I was schedule for 2 hours and 20 minutes ago. To whom do I address my complaint about the service of the Son of God?
Oh, I'm sorry Allie. Apparently, the one true religion this time around was Methodist. Better luck next time.


I can't decide whether Liquid Swords or Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... is the superior album.
Liquid Swords. QED


You're a :bou::bou::bou::bou:ty doctor.
*sigh* I am just as qualified as Dr Phil. You get what you pay for.

Wanna go out? It will solve your single problem. ;)

[Bunny]

You're a :bou::bou::bou::bou:ty patient.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

My problem is Michael Cera keeps getting work. Is there no justice?

[Yar]

The only problem there is that he always plays the same character archetypes.

There can only be one George Michael Bluth, and it isn't that kid that knocked up Juno.

[blackmage_nuke]

I know this guy on an internet forum claiming to be a doctor, giving out bad advice to other forum posters. How do I steal his shoes and social security number?

[Jiro]

The correct thing to do here is post an answer to your own question seeing as you are now the doctor.

[blackmage_nuke]

My advice: It's not Lupus

[Shiny]

I'm still not sure what a hairlick is.

[Yar]

I'm still not sure what a hairlick is.
Probably because it doesnt exist.

Showing results for:
cowlick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowlick)
hairlip (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairlip)

[Bunny]

A hairlick is a cow's hairlip.

Obviously.

God do I have to tell you people everything.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Justy, you have to catch.