Who am I?

[Citizen Bleys]

I am (in this thread only) assuming the identity of someone you should all be familiar with. Whenever the hell I feel like it, I'll post hints. The difficulty of the hints will be inversely proportional to my level of frustration at your stupidity. I'll answer yes or no questions. First person to correctly guess my identity doesn't get bobbitized.

I'll edit this post as new hints are added.

1. I have led French soldiers to victory over the British
2. I suffered from epilepsy
3. I was once captured by pirates, and convinced them to increase my ransom by more than double

EDIT: And that should be enough to figure it out. To my knowledge, only one person in the history of the universe conforms to both clues 1 and 2.

[NorthernChaosGod]

William the Conquerer

[Jiro]

Wait the french won something?

[Timekeeper]

Napoleon?

[Madonna]

This guy posts here, right?

[Bunny]

Louis-Joseph de Montcalm-Gozon

[Citizen Bleys]

William the Conquerer

Nope


Wait the french won something?

The French have won lots of things, just not under their own leadership.


Napoleon?

Negative


This guy posts here, right?

No


Louis-Joseph de Montcalm-Gozon

Who the Christ is that? No.

2. I suffered from epilepsy

[TrollHunter]

Jesus?

[Hollycat]

Don't be stupid. It is obviously Justin Beiber

[Madame Adequate]

Well, there is a theory that J'eanne D'arc was epileptic, but I don't think that has achieved a consensus among historians. Other than her I can't think of anyone who fits the bill. Maybe one of the dudes who beat Kyriell at Formigny? Can't remember who they both were, Arthur III of Brittany and someone else.

[Hollycat]

somebody from the american revolution?

[NorthernChaosGod]

I also heard Joan of Arc may have been epileptic, other than that, this clue doesn't help much. :mad2:

[Madonna]

This guy posts here, right?

No
Are you sure?

[Jentleness]

I also heard Joan of Arc may have been epileptic, other than that, this clue doesn't help much. :mad2:

I think you have earned yourself a point there, Julian! Am I right, Bleys? :hello:

[Citizen Bleys]

Jesus?

No. Jesus didn't command any French armies.


Don't be stupid. It is obviously Justin Beiber

I'm not familiar with Mr. Bieber's military record, but not even the French are so hard-up for leadership they'll follow a child.


Well, there is a theory that J'eanne D'arc was epileptic, but I don't think that has achieved a consensus among historians. Other than her I can't think of anyone who fits the bill. Maybe one of the dudes who beat Kyriell at Formigny? Can't remember who they both were, Arthur III of Brittany and someone else.

I'm not Jeanne D'arc, and I've never heard of the others you mentioned. Best guess so far, though.


somebody from the american revolution?

No. Good call on eliminating a lot of candidates with one shot, though.


I also heard Joan of Arc may have been epileptic, other than that, this clue doesn't help much. :mad2:

I kind of thought it would. Guess not, though. The clues will start getting easy soon.





This guy posts here, right?

No
Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.



I also heard Joan of Arc may have been epileptic, other than that, this clue doesn't help much. :mad2:

I think you have earned yourself a point there, Julian! Am I right, Bleys? :hello:

No, you're not.

3. I was once captured by pirates, and convinced them to increase my ransom by more than double

[NorthernChaosGod]

John Stewart, Earl of Buchan

[TrollHunter]

John Stewart, Earl of Buchan

Hmm I hope that'd be pretty awesome

[Jentleness]

Wait a minute Bleys, France was Gaul back when Julius Caesar was commanding armies, so your first clue sucks, making my assumption of Joan of Arc a good one :p

[Madame Adequate]

Ah, you're being tricky, aren't you?

Gaius Julius Caesar.

[Citizen Bleys]

Wait a minute Bleys, France was Gaul back when Julius Caesar was commanding armies, so your first clue sucks, making my assumption of Joan of Arc a good one :p


We have a winner.

I didn't know Caesar's abduction by pirates was such common knowledge.

Gaul is France. Same thing.

I kind of regret that I didn't get to use my sarcastic, "You've got to get this" clues, such as "I was featured in one of Shakespeare's plays," "I have the same initials as Jesus Christ," "I was brutally murdered on the Ides of March by a coterie of douchebags led by my best friend Marcus," and "You have got to be kidding me, nobody's figured it out? Last clue, I'm Julius freaking Caesar!!!"

By the way, most of you fail for not asking such questions as "Are you male or female," "are you fictional," "are you still alive," and narrowing down the timeframe by asking if I had been born after key events such as major wars, the birth of Christ, and the establishment of the Hair Club for Men.

[Jiro]

I forgot that we could ask yes or no questions.

[Citizen Bleys]

it's kind of hard to win early if you don't, since the original plan was to post 5 hard clues before moving onto easier stuff.

[Jiro]

Well let's hope that happens for Round 2 (http://forums.eyesonff.com/wonder-square/137391-who-am-i-round-2-a.html).