What would be on your epitaph?

[Bubba]

"Here lies Bubbaforever
Killed by rampant wildebeest whilst on safari aged 103
Leaving behind his beloved 20-year-old, seventh wife, Chantelle
... and 18-year-old caring mistresses, Chelsea and Katrina
First Person to be inducted into both the Baseball and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame"

[blackmage_nuke]

Nothing, I plan to be cremated.

[CimminyCricket]

"He never should have trusted that woman's cooking. "

[Bubba]

Nothing, I plan to be cremated.What would be inscribed on your jar of ashes?

[demondude]

It wouldn't be legible because of the rotting corpses of hundreds of adoring women and men who have flung themselves on my grave and gradually died.

That or I'll be buried in my back garden next to the dog, with no gravestone.

[NorthernChaosGod]

My epitaph has already been written. It shall be inscribed at the base of my marble statue depicting my moment of death against The Nothing.


Julian was a man's man and he died the way he lived, being the most badass mo'smurfer around. On his way to satisfy his intense hunger for animal flesh, his best friend The Childlike Empress sent him an urgent message that Fantasia was in trouble and only he could help. An unstoppable force known only as The Nothing was tearing Fantasia a new one, only one man was capable of putting an end to such an asshole.

Julian hopped on his trusty steed Artex and sped straight off to help his friend and her kingdom. Through many pitfalls and perils, Julian arrived at the heart of Fantasia and current location of The Nothing. The Nothing snarled at Julian and in one swift motion swallowed Artex whole. "You'll pay for that, he was my favorite horse," said Julian, clenching his fists for battle. He leapt into the air and knocked that pussy square in the jaw. The Nothing retaliated by slashing Julian's chest, leaving ribbons where a shirt once was. Julian looked down at the crimson streams running down his rock hard abs and said, "This ends now."

Unleashing a yell that sent angels running in fear, Julian charged full speed at the beast. He launched himself upwards and for a faint second blotted out the sun with the size of his muscles and sheer badassity. Coming down with all the power he could muster, he sent a a fist straight into the skull of the beast and sent blood and skull fragments flying for miles. Both combatants collapsed in a sea of red, dotted with islands of white.

Just as Julian drew his last breath, he could see the outline of a great, ivory beast flying down toward him. He smiled and greeted Death with a swift kick to the nuts, took his robe and scythe, and sent him packing. "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!" barked Julian as he donned his new attire and walked into the sunset. Literally.

[demondude]

You see this is why women won't touch you.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Your mom touches me plenty.

When I asked her repeatedly not to.

[Pike]

Here Lies Pike

Her last words were profound: "What duck?"

[Tigmafuzz]

I want to donate my body to science. Or be an organ donor. Either way, I want to be donated to something. Because I don't like myself enough to have money set aside for my death. I feel like I would be pretty worthless once I'm dead, so why pay for my corpse to get funeral and be stuck in the ground in a box? Waste of wood, waste of money, waste of people's time if anyone decides to go. But if I was unable to be an organ donor for some reason, or if my family decides to bury me instead (although why my fucking family would have any say in my death is beyond me) I guess I would want it to say something like "He died doing what he loved. A 24 year old struggling 'actress' who could touch her head to her ankles backwards while standing up."

[Bubba]

My epitaph has already been written. It shall be inscribed at the base of my marble statue depicting my moment of death against The Nothing.


Julian was a man's man and he died the way he lived, being the most badass mo'smurfer around. On his way to satisfy his intense hunger for animal flesh, his best friend The Childlike Empress sent him an urgent message that Fantasia was in trouble and only he could help. An unstoppable force known only as The Nothing was tearing Fantasia a new one, only one man was capable of putting an end to such an asshole.

Julian hopped on his trusty steed Artex and sped straight off to help his friend and her kingdom. Through many pitfalls and perils, Julian arrived at the heart of Fantasia and current location of The Nothing. The Nothing snarled at Julian and in one swift motion swallowed Artex whole. "You'll pay for that, he was my favorite horse," said Julian, clenching his fists for battle. He leapt into the air and knocked that pussy square in the jaw. The Nothing retaliated by slashing Julian's chest, leaving ribbons where a shirt once was. Julian looked down at the crimson streams running down his rock hard abs and said, "This ends now."

Unleashing a yell that sent angels running in fear, Julian charged full speed at the beast. He launched himself upwards and for a faint second blotted out the sun with the size of his muscles and sheer badassity. Coming down with all the power he could muster, he sent a a fist straight into the skull of the beast and sent blood and skull fragments flying for miles. Both combatants collapsed in a sea of red, dotted with islands of white.

Just as Julian drew his last breath, he could see the outline of a great, ivory beast flying down toward him. He smiled and greeted Death with a swift kick to the nuts, took his robe and scythe, and sent him packing. "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!" barked Julian as he donned his new attire and walked into the sunset. Literally.

I get the distinct feeling this may have been a thread previously... I need to become more original...

[NorthernChaosGod]

Oh no, not at all. The thread that comes from was purely about my death.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/131526-we-will-remember-him-always.html

[Bubba]

Epic. I'm glad you've decided to not be dead anymore.

"Here lies NorthernChaosGod
He gaveth his life to save the world from... nothing
Erm... from what we can gather... he had a fight with himself and lost
May he rest in peace"

This story will definitely never end...

[Rantz]

"I had right of way"

[Jiro]

"Couldn't run forever"

alternatively

"About time"

or even

"Fragged by: Australia"

[fire_of_avalon]

"Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery. Now Megan is too."

[Shiny]

Your mom touches me plenty.

When I asked her repeatedly not to.
When you were four.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Of course then; I was a sexy four-year-old.

[Del Murder]

'Do not break glass until transhumanism has been perfected.'

[Iceglow]

"Upon this sod, lies another" (a Sod is both a term for a pain in the ass person and a piece of earth)

or

"I said I'd finish what I started, famous last words huh?"

or

"Wake up and smell the real world, do you think this is real? Is that air you think you're breathing?"

one last choice a personal fave:

"He died doing what he loved, your mother."

[Old Manus]

"Public Urinal"

[Laddy]

"Meh."