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View Full Version : How to NOT get a second date



Renmiri
12-09-2011, 07:31 PM
Mike and Lauren went out just once. Lauren called the date “horrific.” Mike, on the other hand, had a great time, and thought Lauren did, too. He texted and called her and got no response.

Unlike you and me, instead of just letting it go, Mike Googled her email address and wrote her a 1,600 word email about how she was a bad person for leading him on AND they were perfect for each other.

How to creep out the entire internet, lovelorn banker edition (http://t.co/BhJvtkv1)

fire_of_avalon
12-09-2011, 07:53 PM
Wish I had Mike's number.

chionos
12-09-2011, 07:54 PM
Some of my favorite parts:

It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part.

How efficient!

You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening.

haha
hahahahahahah

Need to see more of this on the internet, it really helps give a boost to all the non-weirdo creepy guys out there that aren't perfect but at least aren't this guy either.

sharkythesharkdogg
12-09-2011, 09:09 PM
I don't know guys. They both really like classical music (which is the main thing he bases the potential long term romance off of) and their ages are compatible.

That's such a good match he didn't even feel the need to name other things in common! What more could a girl need?

All I know is any woman who plays with her hair and mentions it was nice to meet me better sex me up. It's just common courtesy.

chionos
12-09-2011, 10:02 PM
I wish I had known that in high school. Apparently every girl in every class I ever had wanted to lick my lollipop, cause all they did all day in class was play with their hair. And they were all basically my age!!! I missed out on a lot of horrible sex and painful bjobs!

OMG and I like basically ALL music...so I should get ALL THE GIRLS.

Peegee
12-09-2011, 11:00 PM
the correct answer is that NOBODY is a good match for OP

DMKA
12-09-2011, 11:28 PM
I've received an email similar to that, only worse, and longer.

I should look back through Thunderbird and see if I still have it.

Old Manus
12-09-2011, 11:45 PM
I dunno guys, he seems obviously like some sort of aspie who cannot do social interaction. I think we should be more -

lovelorn banker

bankerTypical 1% scumbag banker pig with no morals. I bet you weren't worried about women when you were pumping my money into your fatass bank accounts via ways I won't consider. Asshole. Occupy restaurants.

Shlup
12-10-2011, 12:01 AM
Well that just kept on going didn't it.

Roogle
12-10-2011, 12:47 AM
I've received an email similar to that, only worse, and longer.

I should look back through Thunderbird and see if I still have it.

I believe it. Maybe you should post it on a social bookmarking site and see what happens!

Raistlin
12-10-2011, 12:56 AM
I feel led on too by all those women who have talked to me and played with their hair in my presence and even made eye contact with me on a per-minute basis above the average amount that I have observed in other women I have interacted with before who for whatever reason generally were unable to look me in the eye (and who can blame them, with my body?).

Seriously, women: if you don't want to be stalked by a guy, don't look at or talk to them! Geez, is that so hard to understand?

Peegee
12-10-2011, 01:09 AM
Mike,

Thank God you e-mailed me. Shortly after our date, I was kidnapped by Chinese spies and imprisoned at a black site in the province of Tzao-bin. My captors are holding me ransom for 1 million dollars. I know that a sensitive man like you that has made his parents millions of dollars in investments can spare a million dollars to pay for my ransom. My eye contact with you and playing with my hair was intentional. I was too shy to tell you that I was in love with you at first sight. All of your suspicions are true! Please rescue me from this horrible place so that we can make beautiful love over and over again and grow old together!

Love, Lauren

Renmiri
12-10-2011, 01:36 AM
Mike,

Thank God you e-mailed me. Shortly after our date, I was kidnapped by Chinese spies and imprisoned at a black site in the province of Tzao-bin. My captors are holding me ransom for 1 million dollars. I know that a sensitive man like you that has made his parents millions of dollars in investments can spare a million dollars to pay for my ransom. My eye contact with you and playing with my hair was intentional. I was too shy to tell you that I was in love with you at first sight. All of your suspicions are true! Please rescue me from this horrible place so that we can make beautiful love over and over again and grow old together!

Love, Lauren

brilliant! :D

Flying Arrow
12-10-2011, 07:08 PM
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I know a guy who acts and thinks like this "Mike". He's one of the least pleasant people I've ever been around. I'm usually pretty polite and sociable, so once I asked him if he'd played Batman Arkham City and he just talked at length about the history of Robin and Nightwing and a whole bunch of tit no one cares about. When I took advantage of a pause in the lecture to change the subject, he interrupted me to "let me finish please". He has no social skills and this is how he interacts with women as well as men. It's actually one of the saddest things I've seen in a long time, like he can't see the distinction between making people listen to his tit out loud and in public and leaving it on a message board for people to ignore (or quote and ridicule).

Rant over.

Peegee
12-10-2011, 08:52 PM
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I know a guy who acts and thinks like this "Mike". He's one of the least pleasant people I've ever been around. I'm usually pretty polite and sociable, so once I asked him if he'd played Batman Arkham City and he just talked at length about the history of Robin and Nightwing and a whole bunch of tit no one cares about. When I took advantage of a pause in the lecture to change the subject, he interrupted me to "let me finish please". He has no social skills and this is how he interacts with women as well as men. It's actually one of the saddest things I've seen in a long time, like he can't see the distinction between making people listen to his tit out loud and in public and leaving it on a message board for people to ignore (or quote and ridicule).

Rant over.

i want to meet this guy. oh wait i've met guys like that.
last time i ever ask an obvious /v/tard whether or not to play dead space

Psychotic
12-10-2011, 09:36 PM
Wow, Iceglow got a date?

Baloki
12-10-2011, 09:38 PM
Wow, Iceglow got a date?

drotato
12-10-2011, 09:41 PM
Wow, Iceglow got a date?
hah.

DK
12-10-2011, 10:23 PM
Wow, Iceglow got a date?



Wow, Iceglow got a date?



Wow, Iceglow got a date?
hah.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/sickhappy/stevebert.gif

drotato
12-10-2011, 11:11 PM
Look at that herp derp face.

Herrrrp?

Iceglow
12-11-2011, 12:56 AM
Fuck the lot of you on that one. I've got more class than this guy, Quin on the other hand....

Shiny
12-11-2011, 05:35 AM
Iceglow TM, now with more pedo stache.

chionos
12-11-2011, 05:40 AM
That is not a pedo stache. There's not enough there. You want it to tickle.

Shiny
12-11-2011, 05:57 AM
You're right, it's a Spanish Conquistador stache.

KentaRawr!
12-11-2011, 12:36 PM
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I know a guy who acts and thinks like this "Mike". He's one of the least pleasant people I've ever been around. I'm usually pretty polite and sociable, so once I asked him if he'd played Batman Arkham City and he just talked at length about the history of Robin and Nightwing and a whole bunch of tit no one cares about. When I took advantage of a pause in the lecture to change the subject, he interrupted me to "let me finish please". He has no social skills and this is how he interacts with women as well as men. It's actually one of the saddest things I've seen in a long time, like he can't see the distinction between making people listen to his tit out loud and in public and leaving it on a message board for people to ignore (or quote and ridicule).

Rant over.

A lot of times I feel like I'm like this. My brain is full of useless facts from browsing the wikis of shows I'll never watch, and playing video games. I'm an awful conversationalist, so if I don't fill up the time with useless facts, there's a massive awkward silence. *Sigh*

I was DEFINITELY that way when I was younger, though, like 12-14. :P

But yeah, this guy should have taken the hint. Although, once I did send a letter kinda like that, but not because I was dumped. A girl asked me to "stop stalking her", and coming from her it just came off as obnoxious because she'd try to switch the topic to sex or something like that whenever we'd chat, and she was always talking about how everyone around her is stupid. If it weren't for the fact that we used to play FFXI together, then I would have de-friended so fast due to the creepiness and the total arrogance, but oh well. :-/

Pike
12-11-2011, 03:55 PM
Mike and Lauren went out just once. Lauren called the date “horrific.” Mike, on the other hand, had a great time, and thought Lauren did, too. He texted and called her and got no response.

Unlike you and me, instead of just letting it go, Mike Googled her email address and wrote her a 1,600 word email about how she was a bad person for leading him on AND they were perfect for each other.

How to creep out the entire internet, lovelorn banker edition (http://t.co/BhJvtkv1)

So, how bad is it that the first time I read through this (on another site, without the commentary) I thought the point was to empathize with the guy and it took me a good few minutes to realize that that wasn't the case?

I guess I am just that aspergers

Madame Adequate
12-11-2011, 07:36 PM
smurf the lot of you on that one. I've got more class than this guy, Quin on the other hand....

I agree, you certainly don't have more class than Quin.

Or Mike

Levian
12-11-2011, 07:59 PM
To be fair, hurricane Katrina probably has more class than that guy as well.

NorthernChaosGod
12-11-2011, 08:11 PM
Mike and Lauren went out just once. Lauren called the date “horrific.” Mike, on the other hand, had a great time, and thought Lauren did, too. He texted and called her and got no response.

Unlike you and me, instead of just letting it go, Mike Googled her email address and wrote her a 1,600 word email about how she was a bad person for leading him on AND they were perfect for each other.

How to creep out the entire internet, lovelorn banker edition (http://t.co/BhJvtkv1)

So, how bad is it that the first time I read through this (on another site, without the commentary) I thought the point was to empathize with the guy and it took me a good few minutes to realize that that wasn't the case?

I guess I am just that aspergers
I think that's just something to do with being a robot and not knowing why we cry or something.

drotato
12-13-2011, 03:56 PM
To be fair, hurricane Katrina probably has more class than that guy as well.
If you took Katrina on a date, she'd blow you away. /smug

Hurr hurr, punspunspuns.

Jessweeee♪
12-13-2011, 04:16 PM
Hahaha the hair thing reminds me of my brother at fourteen. He thought that girls were like, hardwired to play with their hair when they were horny. Like, they couldn't not do that. I had to explain to him that typically, girls just do that when they are fidgety, whether it's because they're nervous, bored, or anxious to get the hell out of there like I imagine this Lauren woman was. And that sometimes girls do play with their hair when they are flirting, but this is a deliberate attempt at being cute, not something that they are compulsed to do.

Renmiri
12-15-2011, 04:28 AM
O.o Iceglow you have a "porn-stache" ?

Iceglow
12-15-2011, 04:42 AM
O.o Iceglow you have a "porn-stache" ?

No, I grew one for the Movember it is well, and truly gone from my face right now.

Jiro
12-15-2011, 10:18 AM
We may mock him for how he looked, but Iceglow did a damn good deed and most of the rest of you, myself included, are pussies for not participating.

Granted I can't grow facial hair but STILL.

drotato
12-15-2011, 02:55 PM
Granted I can't grow facial hair but STILL.
I totes would have done it if I'd had the correct amount of testosterone.

NorthernChaosGod
12-15-2011, 08:51 PM
We may mock him for how he looked, but Iceglow did a damn good deed and most of the rest of you, myself included, are pussies for not participating.

Granted I can't grow facial hair but STILL.
Mocking is part of the fun. :monster:

GhandiOwnsYou
12-16-2011, 07:43 AM
You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening.

Great. Now I cannot for the life of me get The Streets "Could well be in" out of my head.

Clo
12-16-2011, 10:14 PM
Holy shit.

Dude's got problems.

Sylvie
12-17-2011, 10:01 AM
Holy tit.

Dude's got problems.
Hey, now let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Alive-Cat
12-17-2011, 02:12 PM
I'm sorry, Iceglow x

NorthernChaosGod
12-17-2011, 10:37 PM
Holy shit.

Dude's got problems.
99 problems and a bitch ain't one?

drotato
12-18-2011, 01:41 AM
Holy tit.

Dude's got problems.
99 problems and a bitch ain't one?
If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son.

Sylvie
12-18-2011, 01:47 AM
I got 99 problems and your mom is one.

drotato
12-18-2011, 09:14 PM
I got 99 problems and your mom is one.
/smug

That whore.

chionos
12-19-2011, 01:28 AM
I just want to make sure everyone understands that Nikki, Genji, and NorthernChaosGod aren't really creepy perverted weirdos, but are simply giving us a steady stream of examples of how not to act around members of the opposite sex.

NorthernChaosGod
12-19-2011, 01:32 AM
I don't know what you're talking about. :confused:

TrollHunter
12-19-2011, 01:43 AM
In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again.

LOL

drotato
12-19-2011, 02:34 AM
I just want to make sure everyone understands that Nikki, Genji, and NorthernChaosGod aren't really creepy perverted weirdos, but are simply giving us a steady stream of examples of how not to act around members of the opposite sex.
Of course. What else would I be doing? :monster:

Sylvie
12-19-2011, 05:34 AM
make sure everyone understands that Nikki, Genji, and NorthernChaosGod aren't really creepy perverted weirdos

Nikki, Genji, and NorthernChaosGod aren't really creepy perverted weirdos

Genji

aren't really creepy perverted weirdos

:grover:

NorthernChaosGod
12-19-2011, 12:07 PM
Yeah, Genji is super creepy and perverted.

Sylvie
12-19-2011, 12:46 PM
I'm okay with this.

Peegee
12-19-2011, 05:41 PM
This thread is so confusing. why would a girl even talk to you if she wasn't interested in sex?

i haven't ever even touched a girl before so excuse my question.

drotato
12-20-2011, 02:32 AM
It's good to know that Peegee thinks all women want one thing. /smug

I just want your money. ;D

JUST KIDDING. I'M A MILLIONAIRE, WHAT DO I NEED MORE MONEY FOR?

Iceglow
12-20-2011, 06:11 AM
Nikki is a total pervert too, she perved on me via Google Maps. I have an e-off-er-stalker!

Peegee
12-20-2011, 06:53 PM
Nikki is a total pervert too, she perved on me via Google Maps. I have an e-off-er-stalker!

Can you go over how to get a boyfriendless girl friend (www.sonichu.com/) ?

drotato
12-21-2011, 02:42 AM
Nikki is a total pervert too, she perved on me via Google Maps. I have an e-off-er-stalker!

You wish I was really stalking you.

Iceglow
12-21-2011, 05:57 AM
If you was really stalking me, I'd get a restraining order. Not because I'd be like worried or something but because I've always wanted to do that to someone.

Ergo, yes I do WISH you were REALLY stalking me.

Sylvie
12-21-2011, 06:10 AM
If a woman were stalking me, I'd abuse the situation to hook up with a creepy person.

TrollHunter
12-21-2011, 07:15 AM
If a woman were stalking me, I'd abuse the situation to hook up with a creepy person.

I would avoid this situation at all costs. Stuff can only go wrong when that happens :|

Sylvie
12-21-2011, 07:26 AM
I can usually handle those situations.

TrollHunter
12-21-2011, 07:43 AM
Oh I bet you can.
I don't know how well I would do though.
I would never hook up with another stalker.

Sylvie
12-21-2011, 08:05 AM
Stalkers are good because they're obsessed. Their sex is pure energy.

drotato
12-21-2011, 08:51 PM
Stalkers are good because they're obsessed. Their sex is pure energy.
/smug

NorthernChaosGod
12-21-2011, 11:30 PM
If a woman were stalking me, I'd abuse the situation to hook up with a creepy person.
You're good people.

Sylvie
12-22-2011, 12:11 AM
I'm many people.

TrollHunter
12-22-2011, 08:58 AM
Stalkers are good because they're obsessed. Their sex is pure energy.

Oh trust me, I would know.

Sylvie
12-22-2011, 09:08 AM
I'm glad you understand.

Tigmafuzz
12-23-2011, 12:51 PM
I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in a loony bin mental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.

I'm many people.
I am so loving this thread.

Peegee
12-23-2011, 03:13 PM
I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in a loony bin mental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.

I'm many people.
I am so loving this thread.

how was the sex?

Renmiri
12-24-2011, 10:33 PM
My stalker was a virgin O.o Somehow he got into his head he wanted me to be his first. Threatened suicide and all. I threatened to tell his mom and he stopped... I was 18 at the time.

Tigmafuzz
12-25-2011, 09:56 AM
I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in a loony bin mental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.

I'm many people.
I am so loving this thread.

how was the sex?
OHHHHOHOHOHO MY GAWD IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING