Deal Breakers

[Shlup]

Would you have relations with a homeless if they were clean and attractive? Or is that a deal breaker?

[fire_of_avalon]

I would have relations with a homeless if they were clean OR attractive. Not mutually inclusive.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Where would she go when I kicked her out in the morning? She could just wait for me outside. :(

[Shiny]

No, but I would have relations with a person who looked homeless, as long as they smell good.

[Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World]

Homeless, clean, and attractive. I'm down. ;)

[chionos]

What kind of relations are we talking here? What does being homeless have to do with fuckability? And what does fuckability have to do with fucking a billy goat? And what do billy goats have to do with Shlup's imagination?
Oh.
Everything.
Understood.

[CimminyCricket]

Probably. There aren't many things that walk on two legs that I wouldn't fuck.

[Laddy]

No. When they say "Let's go back to my place" it would be kinda awkward.

[Levian]

I don't know, I'll get back to you when I've run out of homefull people.

[Rantz]

I have frequent relations with, at a guess, 40% of the homeless in my town. They play their guitars and accordions in town for spare change, then they bring it all home to me. In exchange I give them dinner, sex and a bed for the night - quite a deal if you ask me. I can be top or bottom, whatever you're into. It started out as a hobby but I had to make them a schedule in order for everyone to get a night alone, although Saturday is a free-for-all. It's evolved into a veritable business. I couldn't be happier. :)

[Tigmafuzz]

Well, I've been homeless myself a few times, and I know what it's like. Homeless people are usually much more down-to-earth than the people you see on a daily basis. Except for the crazy ones, of course. But yeah. I would smurf me. I'd do me so hard.
Plus, by giving them a place to stay, they're practically obligated to have sex with you. Not that I've ever that sort of thing, or had it done to me. Although, being a guy, I would love for it to happen to me.
"You can stay as long as you want, just Make sure you have sex with me every day."
"YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!"

[Pike]

I don't think I can judge seeing as I'm 28 and live in my dad's basement

[Laddy]

I don't think I can judge seeing as I'm 28 and live in my dad's basement
That's the best way to live, Pikey Wikey.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

I don't think I can judge seeing as I'm 28 and live in my dad's basement

Sex in your dad's basement? Hmmmmmmm.






I'll do it.

[Psychotic]

"A homeless" haha.

A lot of my job is spent preventing people who are about to be made homeless from being made into a homeless. But it's not your traditional homeless person, it's more people who can't keep up with the rent of mortgage payments. I would not go out with many of them. And I'm the least cynical person at work!

[Peegee]

I keep thinking that a homeless woman would be my ticket to finally be able to touch a girl or see what a girl looks like naked. But they're all so slovenly and stuff I don't know if I can get hard with them. I mean you can compensate by using viagra but I we don't have subsidized drug plan like Obama was trying to hook americans up with.

IF I were american I would totes be banging some homeless bitches. They be needing monies and I gots that in spades. Obamacare provides condoms right? Sweeeeeeet

[Clo]

I was once homeless, and my boyfriend was once homeless. Then we found places to live, met each other, and now we sip fine wines and think about the wino times.

I would date a homeless person if they were attractive, but I'd probably try to help them find a place to stay. If the person didn't show any attempt at all to improve upon their situation I wouldn't be with them long. I HATE WHINERS.

[blackmage_nuke]

Probably not. For all I know they might try and stab me to steal my money when Im all tired from sex. But I guess that can be said about any relationship.

[Yar]

From personal experience, yes.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I keep thinking that a homeless woman would be my ticket to finally be able to touch a girl or see what a girl looks like naked. But they're all so slovenly and stuff I don't know if I can get hard with them. I mean you can compensate by using viagra but I we don't have subsidized drug plan like Obama was trying to hook americans up with.

IF I were american I would totes be banging some homeless bitches. They be needing monies and I gots that in spades. Obamacare provides condoms right? Sweeeeeeet
Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

[Peegee]

I keep thinking that a homeless woman would be my ticket to finally be able to touch a girl or see what a girl looks like naked. But they're all so slovenly and stuff I don't know if I can get hard with them. I mean you can compensate by using viagra but I we don't have subsidized drug plan like Obama was trying to hook americans up with.

IF I were american I would totes be banging some homeless bitches. They be needing monies and I gots that in spades. Obamacare provides condoms right? Sweeeeeeet
Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

[Pike]

I keep thinking that a homeless woman would be my ticket to finally be able to touch a girl or see what a girl looks like naked. But they're all so slovenly and stuff I don't know if I can get hard with them. I mean you can compensate by using viagra but I we don't have subsidized drug plan like Obama was trying to hook americans up with.

IF I were american I would totes be banging some homeless bitches. They be needing monies and I gots that in spades. Obamacare provides condoms right? Sweeeeeeet
Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

bags of sand

[Jiro]

If you have a place then you can easily make them not homeless and bingo, the dilemma is no more.

[Quindiana Jones]

I don't understand the apparent importance of the homelessness of a person.

[Madonna]

You cannot go to their place for a one-night stand.

[Jiro]

Some people like a bit of dirty sex in an alleyway though.

[Quindiana Jones]

Especially Aussies.

[chionos]

Stop your filthy lies. Aussies like to be snuggled. Dirty alleyways are for Brits and NorthernChaosGods.

[Quindiana Jones]

Only the Essex girls like alleyways, duh. But yes, NCG is the same.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I'm going to rape you all in an alleyway.

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

bags of sand

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.

[Pike]

It probably helps that he is also a robot.

[Madame Adequate]

I'm just hardcore enough to do it even if I can only do it once because my weak fleshy bits get mangled beyond repair.

Heck, that sounds pretty hot. How great would the sex be if it was your last sex ever.

[Tigmafuzz]

How great would the sex be if it was your last sex ever.
Mother of God.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I'm just hardcore enough to do it even if I can only do it once because my weak fleshy bits get mangled beyond repair.

Heck, that sounds pretty hot. How great would the sex be if it was your last sex ever.
Do you really want people to think about what sex with Pike would be like? :p

[Tigmafuzz]

Do you really want people to think about what sex with Pike would be like? :p
...Yes.

[Pike]

/smug

[Hollycat]

What, like "will smurf for a place to stay" kind of thing? I guess, as long as they don't touch my legos.

35388
Looks Legit.

[Madonna]

More like:
http://oi41.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:/10fqm2o.jpg

[fire_of_avalon]

Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

bags of sand

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.
Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

[NorthernChaosGod]

/smug
What an O face. :p

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

bags of sand

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.
Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

Maybe Pike the sex-bot can get you to uncross 'em.


With her razor sharp blades of erotica. :smug:

[Pike]

Well this thread has taken a rather interesting turn!

[Quindiana Jones]

So Pike has a razor minge and MILF has big brass balls that drag along the ground as he walks? Righto.

[chionos]

Uh, come join us in 2011 Quin, MILF's balls are most certainly not brass. That's so oldschool. My studies have convinced me to within 98% certainty that MILF's package was fashioned entirely from an alloy of Adamantium and Diamond. Robot chicks are still chicks, yo.

[Quindiana Jones]

Oh, it's a shame they're no longer brass. They made a wonderful clanging sound when he walked.

[Madame Adequate]

Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.

[Quindiana Jones]

So in practical terms, you have no balls?

[chionos]

Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.

Mithril, not diamonds, really? But it's so damn shiny! Amazing. I also didn't even think about the dimensional variance, it didn't factor into my calculations at all. I'm going to have to rethink my thrust friction to energy loss algorithm now...so much work.
I'm going to assume the pubes were trimmed from Chuck Norris' beard, fitted with runway LED lights, and then inserted into the Yggdrasil scrotum where they will grow for all eternity.

[fire_of_avalon]

....yep still crossed. And further cringing.

[chionos]

....yep still crossed. And further cringing.

Success!

I hope the man or woman who finally uncrosses them appreciates the work we've just done to compress all of the sexual energy that you have into a burning sphere of sexocity which will some day be unleashed in a never-before-seen rainbow of orgasmic intensity bright enough to shadow even Jiro's sexiness.

[Tigmafuzz]

Oh, PG. Someone should just buy you a hooker.

what does a girl feel like?

bags of sand

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.
Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

Maybe Pike the sex-bot can get you to uncross 'em.


With her razor sharp blades of erotica. :smug:


So Pike has a razor minge and MILF has big brass balls that drag along the ground as he walks? Righto.


Uh, come join us in 2011 Quin, MILF's balls are most certainly not brass. That's so oldschool. My studies have convinced me to within 98% certainty that MILF's package was fashioned entirely from an alloy of Adamantium and Diamond. Robot chicks are still chicks, yo.


Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.



....yep still crossed. And further cringing.

Success!

I hope the man or woman who finally uncrosses them appreciates the work we've just done to compress all of the sexual energy that you have into a burning sphere of sexocity which will some day be unleashed in a never-before-seen rainbow of orgasmic intensity bright enough to shadow even Jiro's sexiness.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS THREAD

[Pike]

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.




Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

Maybe Pike the sex-bot can get you to uncross 'em.


With her razor sharp blades of erotica. :smug:


Uh, come join us in 2011 Quin, MILF's balls are most certainly not brass. That's so oldschool. My studies have convinced me to within 98% certainty that MILF's package was fashioned entirely from an alloy of Adamantium and Diamond. Robot chicks are still chicks, yo.


Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.

Ladies and gentlemen of the voting academy

For your consideration

CUTEST COUPLE DECEMBER CIDDIES 2011

PIKE & I'M MY OWN MILF

[DMKA]

I have a hobo fetish, so of course.

[chionos]

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.




Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

Maybe Pike the sex-bot can get you to uncross 'em.


With her razor sharp blades of erotica. :smug:


Uh, come join us in 2011 Quin, MILF's balls are most certainly not brass. That's so oldschool. My studies have convinced me to within 98% certainty that MILF's package was fashioned entirely from an alloy of Adamantium and Diamond. Robot chicks are still chicks, yo.


Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.

Ladies and gentlemen of the voting academy

For your consideration

CUTEST COUPLE DECEMBER CIDDIES 2011

PIKE & I'M MY OWN MILF

Perhaps if it were COUPLE MOST LIKELY TO TEAR A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF TIME AND SPACE WHILE SEXING I could vote for you. However, Jet-engine gonads and metal vaginas are unfortunately not on my cute list. Neither is antimatter ejaculate.

Do we have any hobos at EoFF? Because if they had a partner that would be a good combo for cutest couple. Who wouldn't vote for a hobo?

[Tigmafuzz]

I might, but I think Del and Miriel have it locked down. (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/138378-locking-down.html)

[NorthernChaosGod]

I always figured trying to fornicate with a robot would be sort of like putting your dick in a blender. Or maybe a coffee grinder. MILF is a brave man.




Jesus. Even I crossed my legs and cringed at that.

Maybe Pike the sex-bot can get you to uncross 'em.


With her razor sharp blades of erotica. :smug:


Uh, come join us in 2011 Quin, MILF's balls are most certainly not brass. That's so oldschool. My studies have convinced me to within 98% certainty that MILF's package was fashioned entirely from an alloy of Adamantium and Diamond. Robot chicks are still chicks, yo.


Actually the operational part is fashioned from a Mithril-Adamantine alloy. The balls consist of two fuel cores that run on a hybrid antimatter reactor of Elerium and AntiTiberium, which by necessity is contained within an alternate dimension for safety's sake, the whole 'package' being encased in a container fashioned from the bark of Yggdrasil itself. That has been anodized. With more Mithril.

Ladies and gentlemen of the voting academy

For your consideration

CUTEST COUPLE DECEMBER CIDDIES 2011

PIKE & I'M MY OWN MILF
I already voted for you guys, silly. :p

[Madame Adequate]

So in practical terms, you have no balls?

Of course I do you spenk! They're just... elsewhere.

[Jiro]

We were getting so close to a quote pyramid that was warn worthy and you bitches ruined it

[Tigmafuzz]

It seems our new CK is a rebel.

[Jiro]

I like that I'm still new. I like that I'm suddenly a rebel. Dude I cuss like a flippin' docker.

[Iceglow]

"A homeless" haha.

A lot of my job is spent preventing people who are about to be made homeless from being made into a homeless. But it's not your traditional homeless person, it's more people who can't keep up with the rent of mortgage payments. I would not go out with many of them. And I'm the least cynical person at work!

Paul we're not chatting about the random Chav's on Midland estates, I hope to god you'd not sleep with them too, I mean think what you might catch or what they might spawn after poking holes in the condom with a needle just to ensure they get the child maintenance.

What kind of homeless are we discussing, because you know Squatters are technically homeless people too and the funny thing is, Squatting has almost become cool these days lots of people do it by choice. Heck I work with like 3 people who squat and yet they're earning full time wages too. It's how they afford their drugs, alcohol and music life-styles. I'm not saying that they're attractive (eww god no! on all 3 counts) but I'm pointing out they're homeless. So if we were talking the whole "Squatter = Homeless" then maybe I'd consider sleeping with a squatter girl if she was clean and hot. If however we're talking full on out on the streets night after night then we're talking a massive deal breaker for me.

[Quindiana Jones]

I couldn't be arsed supporting anyone who's a dead weight, including Steve people with homes and full time jobs.

[Jiro]

steve that's why you always supply the goods. no needles thenn

[Iceglow]

I couldn't be arsed supporting anyone who's a dead weight, including Steve people with homes and full time jobs.

The only time I've ever been a dead weight to you is when I jumped on your back for a photo when we went out for my birthday :D


steve that's why you always supply the goods. no needles thenn

Dude, the 3 people I know who squat, it's not that they're not clean (they're pretty greasy and one smells something fucking awful) or even that they do drugs what turns me off, it's the fact that 2 out of 3 are the wrong gender to turn me on and the one who is the right gender is one of the ugliest girls I have ever had the misfortune to call a friend.

[Quindiana Jones]

That could be on her business card.

[Jiro]

I was talking about avoiding child maintenance :exdee:

[Iceglow]

lol in that case, if I was in Paul's position....just no I still wouldn't her juices would probably melt right through the johnny.