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View Full Version : Literally the worst thing ever



Madame Adequate
01-05-2012, 07:42 AM
Is when you bite your tongue or cheek. It enrages me beyond reason, I froth as wildly as Cloud No.9 denouncing capitalism. It takes the willpower of Doctor Doom to stop myself from simply destroying the world in sheer blind anger.

Discuss how our bodies obviously weren't intelligently designed because if they were, such abominations would not be possible.
Or things that make you exceptionally mad even though you know they really shouldn't.

Sylvie
01-05-2012, 09:03 AM
I wouldn't really say it's a flaw in the human design that things like this happen. Usually, when you're eating, you're worry-free, content, possibly happy-- you're vulnerable. Through the carelessness of bliss, we'll let our muscles have too much free range, and that's when we misguide our teeth down on our inner-cheek or tongue. The reason it induces abnormally livid rage fits is, quite simply, cold water being doused upon a steaming-hot pan. Ssssss...

Bubba
01-05-2012, 09:40 AM
Banging your shin. The body is clearly unable to cope with such an unnecessary level of pain. I managed to do it the other day whilst performing a pointlessly-complex move during a play on Skyward Sword. I'm glad I threw the remote at the sofa as opposed to my HDTV.

Also, women who feel it is necessary to use their teeth when performing a popular oral sex act. Obviously, a high level of self-control is needed in this situation. Any violent reaction will definitely spoil the mood and could also lead to a serious hinderance in your future sexual activities...

Pike
01-05-2012, 02:10 PM
You know when you're eating a pointy chip like a Dorito or something and it pokes the roof of your mouth?

Yeah.

That.

Jessweeee♪
01-05-2012, 02:26 PM
ARGH yes the pointy food thing I hate hate hate that. Also, biting your cheek is soooo much worse than biting your tongue because then canker sore :(

Rye
01-05-2012, 02:47 PM
I froth as wildly as Cloud No.9 denouncing capitalism. It takes the willpower of Doctor Doom to stop myself from simply destroying the world in sheer blind anger.

I laughed so hard it made me fart a little.

Peegee
01-05-2012, 02:55 PM
sometimes during the day my body gives up and I can't touch type above 40% accuracy and then I spaz out and start smashing my hand on the table.

btw the above sentence was typed with two backspaces. this one and the other were typed flawlessly.

Bubba
01-05-2012, 03:14 PM
btw the above sentence was typed with two backspaces. this one and the other were typed flawlessly.

You didn't use a capital letter to start your last sentence... :eek:

sharkythesharkdogg
01-05-2012, 03:21 PM
I hate when I don't stoop low enough, and crack my head on something.


I HATE hitting my head on things. Maybe if it weren't so big I could dodge.

rubah
01-05-2012, 03:45 PM
I started biting my cheeks on purpose while reading this thread, but in a delicate, sexy way

I'm reading a book that is talking about astronauts and (among other things) motion/space sickness. Apparently the leading conjecture is that because the part of the brain that handles removing poisons from our stomachs (i.e. the "emetic brain") is close to the part of the brain that handles balance and orientation, they evolved some crosstalk so that inbalance gets registered as a poison that needs to be removed. For no other reason at all.

An Intelligent designer would not have made such a pithy mistake!

Parker
01-05-2012, 05:39 PM
Just thinking about biting the insides of my cheeks makes my face sorta contort and gives me the heebie jeebies

Sylvie
01-05-2012, 05:55 PM
It pisses me off when I do it real hard on accident while eating, but I have a bit of a problem with taking chunks out of my own inner-cheek for pleasure.

Old Manus
01-05-2012, 08:36 PM
UNISON

Evastio
01-06-2012, 02:51 AM
The only one that comes to mind is farting.

...but I guess the alternatives (burping out fart odours, fart breath, exploding poo from supersaturation of odours) are infinitely worse.

Jiro
01-06-2012, 04:16 AM
Guys. GUYS.

Funny bone. I mean, fucking what. Not only is it a bitch itself, but what dickweed named it the funny bone?

Araciel
01-08-2012, 04:48 PM
When being a giant in a world made for regularly-sized and shaped people proves inconvenient, which is every day in some way. Riding in girlfriend's car - cramped. Showering in any shower but my own - ususally cramped. Trying to buy clothes that aren't found in a fabric store - disappointing.

Also my teeth are horrendously crooked, and as such I generally bite the shit outta my cheeks all the time, which in turn stings when I brush or rinse with mouthwash :@

DMKA
01-08-2012, 05:28 PM
Breaking a nail. No seriously, I mean your real fingernail.

It sucks.

Sylvie
01-08-2012, 08:34 PM
Breaking a nail. No seriously, I mean your real fingernail.

It sucks.
This, this, this, this, this...

fire_of_avalon
01-08-2012, 09:05 PM
No, MILFy is right, especially about the rage part. I am never angrier than when I bite my tongue or cheek. Family and close friends know if I suddenly get up and leave the table at a meal they are not to follow or suffer my wrath.

NeoCracker
01-08-2012, 11:21 PM
The worst thing ever would be if the gave Sinbad ANOTHER TV show.

Yar
01-09-2012, 06:07 AM
Surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet. Why are testicles, delicate as they are, carried around in a thin layered sack of skin, suspended in such a hittable place? That is definitely not intelligently designed, although I don't know where I'd keep them instead.

Sylvie
01-09-2012, 06:09 AM
So that the testes can easily rise and descend to provide precise temperature to keep your sperm alive while still remaining flexible.

Loony BoB
01-09-2012, 09:31 AM
Biting my cheek: Annoying.
Biting my cheek and then my cheek swells so every time I close my mouth, the cheek is between my teeth and thus gets further swollen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

Chris
01-09-2012, 09:35 AM
Toothache. Both the pain, and the pain you experience when your dentist hands you the bill. And I ain't even kidding.

Loony BoB
01-09-2012, 11:47 AM
Oh, and after reading the title of this thread...

"Literally" the worst thing ever: Misuse of the word 'literally'. ;)

Steve
01-09-2012, 02:19 PM
You know when you're eating a pointy chip like a Dorito or something and it pokes the roof of your mouth?

Yeah.

That.

I'm proofed against the whole stabbing myself in the roof of the mouth thing because you know, dental plate etc. However when I don't notice something is sharp due to this and then swallow like razor sharp food! That!




Also, women who feel it is necessary to use their teeth when performing a popular oral sex act. Obviously, a high level of self-control is needed in this situation. Any violent reaction will definitely spoil the mood and could also lead to a serious hinderance in your future sexual activities...

Dude there is a solution, it's kinky, weird and a little fun but takes time to prepare. Simply buy as many jelly sweet rings as possible. Then when hard gently stretch each ring so it fits over your dick. Complete the preparation by covering dick from base to glans. She can bite it if she likes but you still get sucked and there's no pain involved.


Guys. GUYS.

Funny bone. I mean, fucking what. Not only is it a bitch itself, but what dickweed named it the funny bone?

Tell me about it, aside from the fact that it's a collection of small bones and joints at your elbow and therefore the "funny bone" doesn't actually exist. I'd know because I fractured my "funny bone" twice, in the same arm. It wasn't funny but the doctor found it hilarious when I asked him for the "give it to me in straight English doc" he actually sat there pissing himself with laughter telling me I'd broken my funny bone. My response was "Thats not funny doc" but oh it was, hindsight tells me it was fucking funnier because I found it un-funny.

Mittopotahis
01-09-2012, 02:51 PM
Crying. I do not understand the body's idea behind excreting fluid from your eyes when you are sad. The only function it serves is enabling people to judge you when watching Toy Story 3.



...and I just posted this in a totally unrelated thread. Man, it's been too long. I forget how to internet.

Bubba
01-09-2012, 02:56 PM
Also, women who feel it is necessary to use their teeth when performing a popular oral sex act. Obviously, a high level of self-control is needed in this situation. Any violent reaction will definitely spoil the mood and could also lead to a serious hinderance in your future sexual activities...

Dude there is a solution, it's kinky, weird and a little fun but takes time to prepare. Simply buy as many jelly sweet rings as possible. Then when hard gently stretch each ring so it fits over your dick. Complete the preparation by covering dick from base to glans. She can bite it if she likes but you still get sucked and there's no pain involved.

Hmmm... an interesting proposition. However, this problem generally occurs during one-night stands. Any girl who used this technique I will simply not sleep with again (or if I really liked her then I would tell her afterwards to never bite my knob again).

Introducing jelly rings prior to ever being felated by a girl would be awkward and potentially unnecessary. Although, if I ever have a relationship with a girl who simply can't resist having a nibble... then I will definitely give this a go. Cheers Iceglow!

Carl the Llama
01-09-2012, 03:12 PM
Personally I think toothache is the worst thing ever, its literally agony, I remember talking about toothache once with a woman who has 5 children and I said that toothache is the worst pain in the world, she agreed saying its worse then child birth. Worse then child birth.

NorthernChaosGod
01-09-2012, 06:07 PM
I don't know about you guys, but I really hate a runny nose. Give me a fever, give me a cough, give me The Black Death, it's still better than having to wipe my fucking nose every minute and forever sniffling. :argh:

Pike
01-09-2012, 06:12 PM
I can never decide whether a runny nose or a stuffy nose is more annoying. Whenever I have one I wish I was afflicted with the other instead.

Jiro
01-09-2012, 06:14 PM
I have some pretty bad congestion in my throat and chest atm. It sucks.

NorthernChaosGod
01-09-2012, 06:16 PM
I can never decide whether a runny nose or a stuffy nose is more annoying. Whenever I have one I wish I was afflicted with the other instead.
A stuffy nose sucks, but at least it doesn't require serious upkeep.

Carl the Llama
01-09-2012, 08:04 PM
I'd rather have a runny nose then a blocked one, at least with a runny nose your able to breath through it.

chionos
01-09-2012, 10:13 PM
I'd rather have a runny nose then a blocked one, at least with a runny nose your able to breath through it.

This, definitely.

I have an ear infection right now that I've had for a while. In the present, it seems like there couldn't ever be anything worse than what I'm going through right now. The worst pain is the pain I'm going through right now.

fire_of_avalon
01-09-2012, 10:22 PM
I can never decide whether a runny nose or a stuffy nose is more annoying. Whenever I have one I wish I was afflicted with the other instead.
A stuffy nose sucks, but at least it doesn't require serious upkeep.
Yeah but a runny nose doesn't make me want to jam spikes into my head to resolve the congestion.

Or how about when ONE side I'd your nose I'd stuffy and the other is clear and you feel lopsided. Ugh.

TrollHunter
01-09-2012, 10:23 PM
I was talking to one of my friends about this the other day. Whenever I hurt myself like that (be it stubbing my toe, knee, etc. etc.) it only seems to affect me when it happens on the right side of my body... Not nearly as often to the left... What is that crap about?

EDIT: Okay, 10 minutes ago I guess my body wanted me to post something that really hurts to this thread, so I just accidently cut my LEFT thumb open with a steak knife... oh my god...

Madame Adequate
01-09-2012, 11:17 PM
Oh, and after reading the title of this thread...

"Literally" the worst thing ever: Misuse of the word 'literally'. ;)

No, it wasn't. This is worse than anything else in the history of the universe.

NorthernChaosGod
01-10-2012, 01:10 AM
I've never contemplated impaling my skull to clear a stuffed nose. I have considered cutting off my nose when it's runny and flushing it out though.

Pike
01-10-2012, 02:00 AM
I've never contemplated impaling my skull to clear a stuffed nose. I have considered cutting off my nose when it's runny and flushing it out though.

Oh man if only you could do stuff like that and come out none the worse for wear. Whenever I'd have a sore throat I'd open it up, scrape all the goo off, and put ice cubes all over it.

NorthernChaosGod
01-10-2012, 07:10 AM
Are you me? :O

Slothy
01-10-2012, 02:15 PM
Runny nose over stuffy for me. I actually have sleep apnea and use a machine to make sure I don't stop breathing in the middle of the night and wake up frequently (or, you know, die). The mask portion only covers my nose, and sleeping at all is miserable, even if I shoot so much decongestant up there it would clear rush hour traffic in LA. Worse still, it rarely lasts the whole night, leaving me to wake up and spray more up my nose so I can continue sleeping. Fuck that noise.

As far as the biting your cheek thing, I never really bite my tongue, and very rarely do I bite my cheek, but here's the thing: every time I bite my damn cheek it's always the right side and my top right canine always slices right through the damn flesh, embedding itself pretty deeply in my face. But the funny thing is, it never really hurts much or for very long, the bite is so clean it closes almost immediately, and it's fully healed in about 2 days.

Sylvie
01-10-2012, 03:54 PM
Yeah, mouth injuries heal extremely quickly. I believe the body prioritizes it because it's important and it's also technically internal.

Speaking of sleep apnea and waking up in the middle of the night, I woke up last night in a paranoid frenzy, I was swinging my head in each direction looking for something, and then I noticed my hand was numb because I'd been sleeping on it. It was weird.

Pumpkin
01-10-2012, 03:58 PM
Everytime I read this and someone mentions biting their cheeks, I start biting mine. I'm not sure why.

sharkythesharkdogg
01-10-2012, 04:26 PM
I start nibbling on my cheeks too. This whole forum is full of sick freaks. :colbert:

I hate runny noses. I'll take the congestion over the sore, raw, red nose and the constant dripping. I just sit there with nostril tampons made out of twisted up tissue paper shoved all the way to my sinuses and feel like a jackass. Plus a runny nose has drainage that usually leads to a sore throat and/or an upset stomach. smurf RUNNY NOSES!!!!

Stuffy nose sucks, but not as much.

Pike
01-10-2012, 04:35 PM
I just sit there with nostril tampons made out of twisted up tissue paper shoved all the way to my sinuses

I am very well acquainted with this process.

Sylvie
01-10-2012, 04:37 PM
I prefer actual tampons.

NorthernChaosGod
01-10-2012, 07:25 PM
I just sit there with nostril tampons made out of twisted up tissue paper shoved all the way to my sinuses

I am very well acquainted with this process.
Good to know I'm not the only one that does this. :monster: