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Pike
02-19-2012, 04:15 PM
I have a new idea for a game thread. It's called "Have You Ever..."!

Basically you ask someone "Have you ever ". The next person to reply answers yes or no (and preferably tells us a little about it so it's not just a one word answer), and then asks a new "Have you ever..." for the next person to answer, and so forth!

Let's try to keep this from getting [I]too terribly raunchy; yeah, I know, this is EoFF so I'm not getting my hopes up, but this isn't #tot either :tongue:

Here we go!



Have you ever... gotten so drunk that you passed out? :kakapo:

Tigmafuzz
02-19-2012, 04:51 PM
Yes. Usually about two or three times a month, actually. It's very likely I bleed vodka.

Next: Have you ever called your significant other the wrong name?

Fynn
02-19-2012, 06:19 PM
No, but once I called her "mom", and called my mom by her name. It was awkward on both times.

Have you ever tried on underwear that was intended for the opposite sex?

Tigmafuzz
02-20-2012, 04:01 AM
I wasn't "trying them on." I was wearing them. It made for a fun evening.

Have you ever jumped from a height of over 16 feet?

Sephex
02-20-2012, 05:32 AM
No, but I think I cam awfully close to that as a kid. The landing was rough, but I rolled into it (this was YEARS before Ocarina of Time), so I turned out okay.

Have you ever got so drunk that you pissed in a cat box to get revenge on your cat because she pissed on something that belonged to you?

Pike
02-20-2012, 05:36 AM
No, but that sounds amazing and I kind of want details out of morbid curiosity.

Have you ever spent the night in the hospital? :eek:

Agent Proto
02-20-2012, 05:52 AM
Yep. Spent several days in the hospital as well. This was when I found out I had kidney failure.

Have you ever laid your hand on a burning stove?

Hollycat
02-20-2012, 06:08 AM
Yes, several times, once while trying to help my mom get biscuits out of the oven, once when I thought it was off, and once when the lights were off.

Have you ever chocked someone so hard they fainted?

Tigmafuzz
02-20-2012, 04:27 PM
Yes, several times, once while trying to help my mom get biscuits out of the oven, once when I thought it was off, and once when the lights were off.

Have you ever chocked someone so hard they fainted?

Chocked
1. Prevent the forward movement of (a wheel or vehicle) with a chock
2. Support (a boat, cask, etc.) on chocks

Chock
1. A block or wedge placed under something else, such as a wheel, to keep it from moving.2. Nautical - A heavy fitting of metal or wood with two jaws curving inward, through which a rope or cable may be run.


No, I don't think I've placed a wedge under someone to prevent their movement.

Have you ever almost fallen asleep while taking a shower?

Jiro
02-20-2012, 07:14 PM
Twice. Once it was cold outside and the shower was warm so I just thought I'd have a nap. The second time I was drunk so I just got in the shower and turned it on and slept. My clothes were clean by the time I woke up.

Have you ever broken a bone?

Hollycat
02-20-2012, 07:21 PM
Nope, never.

Have you ever drank a whole gallon of milk in an hour

Tigmafuzz
02-21-2012, 02:54 AM
In an hour? No. In like 45 minutes? Yes. I eat a lot of jalapenos, and often I even eat a whole habanero by itself. So I thought I'd try the Four Horsemen Burger, with its Bhut Jolokia "ghost chili" sauce...
Apparently it's over 400 times as hot as a jalapeno (Jalapeno = 2,500 SHU; Bhut Jalokia = over 1,000,000 SHU) so I ended up drinking almost a half-gallon of milk before I threw up, then finished drinking the milk anyway because my mouth still burned. I ate more than half of the burger though :D

Have you ever done something really stupid that you regretted later, even though you were proud of it?

Pike
02-21-2012, 03:37 AM
Yeah, I told a guy off in college, in the middle of class, where everyone (including the professor) could hear, because this guy said that Nintendo was never going to make another console (this was during the GameCube era; the Wii hadn't been announced yet.)

I felt really good about myself at the time but now I look back on it and get kind of embarrassed :redface:

Have you ever gotten in a fight?

Hollycat
02-21-2012, 04:01 AM
Yes, several. One time five kids cornered me in the locker room and as the leader threw his first punch I grabbed his head and smashed into a locker nob. One time in fifth grade a kid took my basketball so I choked him. One time a kid threw an eraser at me so I threw a desk at him. One time a kid made fun of me so I chucked a ripleys book at his face. One time as a sophmore a senior made me look stupid in front of my girlfriend, so later I challenged him to fight, ducked his initial punch and knocked him over and made him cough blood with an uppercut to his stomach. I have been known to go overboard when pissed. Also I was told the next time I punch someone that hard I will go to jail for assault.

However, since I decided not to let anger be a part of my mind, Only twice have I fought someone, both mentioned above.

Have you ever damaged someones car and walked off without saying anything?

Tigmafuzz
02-21-2012, 05:02 AM
Nope. Never been in a wreck (if I was the one driving) :monster:

Have you ever bought someone a gift that you weren't able to give to them for some reason?

Sephex
02-21-2012, 05:05 AM
No, but that happened to me. A minor paint scratch, so it was nothing major. I don't let things like that bother me.

Have you ever farted really loud in a public area...and gotten away with it?

Tigmafuzz
02-21-2012, 05:07 AM
I'll fix this by answering Sephex's question and then just reposting my question.

I have farted really loudly in a public area only once. I had three bean burritos for breakfast, and there was nobody around me. So I let it loose. And it was glorious.



Have you ever bought someone a gift that you weren't able to give to them for some reason?

Jiro
02-21-2012, 05:05 PM
Yeah, we bought my football coach a mug that said "With all due respect, fuck you" but I ended up forgetting to give it to him so it's mine now.

Have you ever really exaggerated a story to make yourself look good in front of someone you liked? (aka have you ever lied to pick up?)

Pheesh
02-22-2012, 12:26 PM
There are other ways to pick up? :/

Have you ever been stranded in a town that you don't know your way around at all?

Hollycat
02-22-2012, 05:30 PM
Yes, all the time, just make a map in your head.

Have you ever found a bone in your hamburger?

Sephex
02-22-2012, 07:31 PM
No, but I puked up an undercooked burger I ate at a Superbowl party.

Have you ever been caught singing a song on the radio at a stop light? Driving or otherwise?

GhandiOwnsYou
02-23-2012, 02:45 AM
Yes. In a Champagne '81 Buick Riviera, on spoke rims, in high school, in a car full of white kids, with the windows down. To Snoop Dogg. Aaaaaaaand we realized all at once, that we were on the corner of 360 and mosby ct, ghetto murder capital of Richmond Va. It was one of those crushing tsunamis of fate, where you simultaneously crap your pants and calmly marvel at not only the sheer absurdity of your situation, but also how you managed to neglect all those factors until precisely that moment.

Have you ever taken a minor habit or quirk and unintentionally amplified it to a level that got you weird looks or attention?
For instance, I bite my nails, and occassionally will get irritated at a stubborn hangnail and suddenly realize someone is staring at me going to town on my index finger like a beaver on a tree.

Tigmafuzz
02-23-2012, 04:50 AM
Well no, but I do have OCD and when I draw or paint or I'm writing something, everything has to be perfect or I get really anxious. Example: I was going to mow the lawn today, but we had a storm recently and there were sticks all over the yard. Since I hadn't taken my anxiety medication, I spent SIX HOURS raking up sticks and leaves and crap. So much sweating =/

Have you ever eaten so much in one sitting that you didn't even feel bloated until the next day? (Yes it can happen like that)

sharkythesharkdogg
02-23-2012, 04:57 PM
No.

Have you ever managed to burn yourself badly enough that it never hurt because all the nerves in the area immediately died? That shit was hot.

Jiro
02-23-2012, 06:06 PM
First of all:

There are other ways to pick up? :/

Yes. You will see how when you get to the states.

Now onto sharky's question. I haven't burned myself that badly, no. I always feel the burns - maybe I should try harder so that I don't feel them. But I have burnt myself on numerous occasions, the two most notable where my leg was trapped against the exhaust pipe of the dirt bike I was riding and also when I was fire twirling and I set my shirt on fire. The latter didn't get me burnt badly at all but it's entertaining as fuck.

Have you ever tripped over your own feet and tried to blame something else out loud in case anyone was watching?

Hollycat
02-23-2012, 06:14 PM
nope.

Have you ever hired some illegal immigrants from Home Depot to choke you in the shower while you touch yourself?

Pumpkin
02-23-2012, 06:49 PM
No. I have not. I don't even have an interesting story to go with it because I haven't done anything like that.

Have you ever found money on the ground and kept it?

Tigmafuzz
02-23-2012, 09:30 PM
Yes. Many times, as a matter of fact. I also used to hang out around supermarkets and grocery stores and ask people if they had a dollar for the bus, then use the money to buy myself food for that day. I was a clever hobo :cool:

Have you ever shot at something and made it explode? What a rush :D

Peegee
02-24-2012, 05:55 PM
This thread is awesome. I'm going to answer every question because it's better this way

Have you ever... gotten so drunk that you passed out? :kakapo:

Many many times. sometimes I blacked out. but that's not as bad.

Next: Have you ever called your significant other the wrong name?

no.

Have you ever tried on underwear that was intended for the opposite sex?

ew


Have you ever jumped from a height of over 16 feet?

Yep. into water. It was an indoor swimming pool.
Oh wait I have a story.

We went to a lake once. It has a swing rope. It swings you out into the lake and you have to let go. I got nervous and didn't let go, so I swung back.

Into the tree. At falling speed. I smashed into the tree, kicked off, and landed in the water.

Now on my left leg it looks like somebody shot me several times in the area to the left of my knee. I think it looks a little better now.

Have you ever got so drunk that you pissed in a cat box to get revenge on your cat because she pissed on something that belonged to you?

LOL no but we kept joking about it.

Have you ever spent the night in the hospital?

Not the night no. But I did break my hand once (see later)

Have you ever laid your hand on a burning stove?

Probably. I sometimes intentionally set myself on fire so it's not a big deal.

Have you ever chocked someone so hard they fainted?

according to the phrasing of the question the answer is no.

Have you ever almost fallen asleep while taking a shower?

Maybe. Unlikely though. Definitely bath.

Have you ever broken a bone?

So one time in a karate tournament I punched a wall in anger. And I broke my left hand's pink and ring finger palm bones. Eeep! I knew it was a big deal

but didn't freak out. Protip - when your palm bones are broken those fingers cannot grip anything but they can still move a little. Anyway I went to the

hospital and they showed me the damage. Ugh.

They wrapped it up in a sling and when the person who does the cast came in they put it in a cast. Luckily I was in school so there was little negative

consequences. Yay.

Have you ever drank a whole gallon of milk in an hour ?

No that's dangerous. No gallon of anything in an hour.

Have you ever done something really stupid that you regretted later, even though you were proud of it?

I got kicked in the face once while sparring in a tournament. It was a spinning kick or a roundhouse I forget. Anyway it didn't hurt, and when I realised what happened to me I saw this guy on the floor holding his foot. I went 'rawr!' like it was some sort of street fight.

...it was a karate tournament

shame :(

Have you ever gotten in a fight?

Sure. I will say that people in clubs talk a lot of tit but they're pathetic. A better story would be the time I laughed at a person while he was yelling that he could kick my ass.

Have you ever damaged someones car and walked off without saying anything?

Yep. At a mall I turned into a car, backed out, and went somewhere else.

This is not a good story. My brother reversed really fast into a parked car at night (after a party) and gtfo fast. lololol

Have you ever bought someone a gift that you weren't able to give to them for some reason?

um....no. Good question though :(

Have you ever really exaggerated a story to make yourself look good in front of someone you liked? (aka have you ever lied to pick up?)

I'm a virgin.

Have you ever been stranded in a town that you don't know your way around at all?

Many times! Washington DC, new york city, to name a couple. I just walked around and did boring things like eat and hide from the weirdos.

Have you ever found a bone in your hamburger?

no. thank god. But I did get a big mac once with no meat in it. I was pissssed

(dad bought it and brought it home so it was a moot point to complain)

Have you ever been caught singing a song on the radio at a stop light? Driving or otherwise?

Probably. Like I care what people think though xD

Have you ever eaten so much in one sitting that you didn't even feel bloated until the next day?

No (lol what) but one time I ate so much all-you-can-eat sushi/rolls/japanese food that I had to induce vomiting to feel better. It's true. And yes, sticking your fingers down your throat does work!

Have you ever managed to burn yourself badly enough that it never hurt because all the nerves in the area immediately died?

LOL no. That's stupid anyway - if you can't feel pain any more what's the point of being alive?

Have you ever tripped over your own feet and tried to blame something else out loud in case anyone was watching?

xDDD no. but one time walking with my friend she tripped up a flight of stairs. You heard me. I laughed at her for like 10 minutes. :D

Have you ever hired some illegal immigrants from Home Depot to choke you in the shower while you touch yourself?

Yes. The video is here

Have you ever found money on the ground and kept it?

Ofc. The most I've ever found was probably 5 bucks. No it wasn't my own 5 bucks.

Have you ever shot at something and made it explode?

No :( I feel depraived. -a

Q: have you ever coveted one of your friends' partners?

Tigmafuzz
02-24-2012, 08:26 PM
Have fun, peeg? Desu desu and all that? Alright then.

Let's see... coveting a friend's partner. Can't say that I've ever really wanted to be with somebody that I knew was taken by somebody else that I was close to(lol complicated drunken grammar), but I have had traces of lust for a person or two that I knew was already in a relationship. I'm pretty sure that's part of being human.

Have you ever hiked up your pants too fast/hard and hurt yourself down there?

Shlup
02-25-2012, 01:47 AM
No.

Have you ever had a nosebleed so bad that one tissue at a time wasn't going to cut it?

Hollycat
02-25-2012, 04:57 AM
Quite often. Almost always.

And one time I had a nosebleed so bad that when it clotted and I blew the clot out, the clot weighed over an ounce. It took a whole box of tissues to get it to stop bleeding.

Have you ever been foiled in a plan by a failure to read something.

Jiro
02-27-2012, 07:45 PM
Certainly. We played this "game" in class where you had to race through this work sheet which had a bunch of different things on it. Before we started, we were told to read all of the instructions and the first person would win a prize. The last instruction which I failed to read was "do the first three things and then stop". Felt like a fool when I did all the shouting things :monster:

Have you ever fallen down stairs?

Sephex
02-28-2012, 12:48 AM
Yes. As a kid I fell, but I rolled into a position which protected my body from serious injury. I didn't even freak out about it!

Have you ever driven a vehicle over 100mph/161kmh? If so, what were the circumstances?

Værn
02-28-2012, 03:47 AM
No. There was this one time when I reached 88 MPH while trying to outrun someone, but then there was a flash of light and I crashed into a barn.

Have you ever tried to cook something that ended up being absolutely inedible?

Peegee
02-28-2012, 04:04 AM
Yes. As a kid I fell, but I rolled into a position which protected my body from serious injury. I didn't even freak out about it!

Have you ever driven a vehicle over 100mph/161kmh? If so, what were the circumstances?

lol 160 km? that's peanuts. Though I will say that in Ontario if you go over 50 kph over the speed limit they conclude you were 'street racing' and automatically suspend your license and potentially confiscate your car.

Anyway I have a story. Very early during the weekend my friends and I went to a creek to play around. This was like 3am or thereabouts. We hung out at a friend's place until that time and then drove off.

At 190-205 kph

It was intense. I've never gone that far and there were nobody else on the highway. It was dangerous as hell (velocity wise) and risky (the ticket would completely ruin any of us).

But that's the fastest I've been on a road vehicle. Where's sharky to say 'pffft 205 kph? I do that in 2nd gear' ?

Jiro
02-28-2012, 04:07 AM
I cooked some savoury mince that, coupled with a caramello koala that I ate, caused me to be violently ill for about three days. Never cooked a damn thing again (still got good marks for that dish though!).

Have you ever fallen asleep with your face in an open book?

Pike
02-28-2012, 04:34 AM
Nope, but once when I was a kid I was lying in bed holding a book above me, and then I dropped it and it landed on my face and knocked out a loose tooth. I think that's my best book-related story.

Have you ever completely lost your voice and had to go to work or school anyway?

Værn
02-28-2012, 05:00 AM
No. The only time I can remember losing my voice was over a weekend. There was this one time when I pretended to have laryngitis as part of an elaborate plan to stuff someone's desk with carrots, but that's a story for another time...

Have you ever caught a stray critter and decided to keep it as a pet?

Tigmafuzz
02-28-2012, 06:02 AM
Many many many times. Gophers, rats, possums, ferrets, cats, dogs, raccoons (does not end well with raccoons), a skunk (went better than the raccoon at least), and a stray coyote. I was only allowed to keep three of those, according to the city. Boring.

Have you ever spent more than forty minutes just trying to decide on what to name a character?

Pike
02-28-2012, 02:17 PM
Yup. MILF and I put off making tauren paladins for several days while we thought of names. xD

Have you ever been pulled over for speeding?

Hollycat
02-28-2012, 03:07 PM
yes, 85 in a 65. no ticket because I know how to talk to the popo.

Have you ever started singing in public because you thought no one was there only to turn around and find someone?

Sephex
02-28-2012, 05:43 PM
On the way to school once. The kid looked perplexed as if I just flipped him off.

Have you ever been caught having sex by anyone? If so, how did they react?

Tigmafuzz
02-28-2012, 09:35 PM
Yes, many times. All funny stories, but only a few that I feel comfortable telling.

Ex-girlfriend whose name starts with J: Caught having a quickie on a Ferris Wheel because of unexpected spillage, resulted in being banned from that Six Flags.
Ex-girlfriend whose name starts with M: Caught in her room by her sister, who ended up joining in after a few uncomfortable minutes and awkward questions. One of the best experiences of my life.
Ex-girlfriend whose name starts with A: Caught in a hotel pool by a nun who just so happened to be doing missionary work with one of the children who lived at that hotel. Then again, we were sorta doing missionary work as well.
There was another time I was caught with a one night stand by a friend of mine who took way too long to leave, and I was also once caught having sex in a hammock (harder than it looks) by another girl who I would have sex with at a later date.

Have you ever been sick for more than two weeks at a time?

Pike
03-03-2012, 04:18 AM
Yes, when I was in kindergarten I got some sort of terrible and bizarre sickness that had me throwing up all the time, in and out of the hospital, and out of school for a good month or two. Then one day I woke up and it was gone. No one ever did figure out what it was.

Have you ever set something on fire by accident?

Agent Proto
03-03-2012, 04:23 AM
Yep, and I don't like it when I spend more than an hour. I usually end up spending less than half an hour on a character name, but rarely over that. It gets annoying when I pass 30 minutes deciding on a name.

Edit: D'oh. Pike got to it before I posted. I'll answer her question....

Nope! I did however set some stuff on fire on purpose... while outside of course! And just for fun too.

Have you ever been yelled at for making any changes?

Hollycat
03-03-2012, 05:34 AM
Myself. Twice.


Have you ever hit a clown?

Edit: D'oh. Agent P got to it before I posted. I'll answer his question....

Yes, especially during mafia season.
Have you ever hit a clown?

sharkythesharkdogg
03-04-2012, 03:32 PM
Not a clown. When I was little, I did run up to someone in a Daffy Duck costume at Six Flags and put two feet into them. Junk yard kick style. They went down.

chat Josh mentioned getting caught in public, what's your favorite memory of something sexual you got away with in public?

Sephex
03-05-2012, 07:35 PM
Not a clown. When I was little, I did run up to someone in a Daffy Duck costume at Six Flags and put two feet into them. Junk yard kick style. They went down.

chat Josh mentioned getting caught in public, what's your favorite memory of something sexual you got away with in public?

They? There were two people in a Daffy Duck costume? What kind of sick six flags were you at?!

In a public pool I grabbed my ex's no-no area. This was at Six Flags Great America.

Going with the sexual theme, have you ever said something very sexual/personal to someone thinking no one else was around and you got caught doing that? What was it?

Shlup
03-06-2012, 09:28 AM
No.

Have you ever cooked macaroni and cheese with cheese that wasn't powdered?

Jinx
03-06-2012, 03:23 PM
VELVETA SHELLS, BAYBAY.

Have you ever sent a "picture" to the wrong person?

Pheesh
03-06-2012, 04:25 PM
Surely have. Also, the other week a friend of mine stumbled across a picture I had of myself wearing skants from back when that was 'a thing' on here. I had no explanation.

Have you ever recited someone a poem to try and get their affection?

Jiro
03-06-2012, 05:06 PM
I wrote a poem, reading them's for chumps (or people who are more talented than I am :p)

Have you ever fallen off a fast(ish) moving vehicle (think anything from rollerblades to aeroplanes)?

Jinx
03-06-2012, 08:35 PM
^Who falls off airplanes? This isn't the 20s. People don't dance on them anymore. :P

I've fallen off those spinny things at the park, if that counts. It hurts, I know that much.


Have you ever broken something at work, then left it there without telling anyone so you didn't get in trouble?

Renmiri
03-06-2012, 09:52 PM
Ya, the copy / xerox machine clogged in a way that not even McGyver could unclog it so I quietly pulled all pieces of paper that could identify me as the guilty party and went to copy my stuff on another floor..

Have you ever posted cyber stuff on the wrong window / tab ? What was the reaction of the person reading your post ?

Hollycat
03-06-2012, 10:10 PM
Let's put it this way. Pedobear is not appreciated in political forums

Have you ever peed yourself since you graduated from school.

Jinx
03-06-2012, 11:08 PM
I laugh a lot. And I used to drink quite a bit as well. Soooooooo.

Have you ever taken a poo, then realized the toilet wasn't working...in someone else's house?

Tigmafuzz
03-07-2012, 12:15 AM
Lol no.

Have you ever thrown something across the room to try and make it in the trash can but missed horribly and broken something?

Surely have. Also, the other week a friend of mine stumbled across a picture I had of myself wearing skants from back when that was 'a thing' on here.
Oh god the skants. Wtf.

Pheesh
03-07-2012, 12:19 AM
Nah, I've got the silkiest of trash can jumpshots.

Have you ever seen a really unhealthy food item on the tv/Internet and been compelled to make it (think Man v Food, epicmealtime etc)

Jinx
03-07-2012, 12:29 AM
I've always wanted to make the pizza burger, but never have.

Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else?

Sephex
03-07-2012, 04:23 AM
I've always wanted to make the pizza burger, but never have.

Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else?

Every damn day.

Have you ever had a dream trick you into thinking the dream's events actually happened well after you woke up?

Tigmafuzz
03-07-2012, 06:14 AM
Story time. The Great Dragonslayer Incident of '09:
A few friends and I were having a little get-together with a new neighbor. At the time, we didn't know he was a pothead, but it wouldn't have made of a difference on our opinion of him if he had told us right when he met us (other than wondering why he would be so nonchalant with that information when meeting new people) so no big deal. Of course, we also didn't know that he was a pretty big name in other drug operations in the city at that time. Meth, acid, shrooms, etc.
It was a little late in the evening when the effects of the LSD- and PCP-laced drinks started kicking in. It was a video game party, and somebody suggested Mario Kart 64 before he went home. Sounded good to us, as we were building our way up to SSBM to end the night. Turned out to not be such a good idea. Most of us thought we were actually in the game, and were getting angry at other people for hitting us with turtle shells. At some point we actually switched to SSBM, but none of us remember what actually happened.
And then we fell asleep.
One person had a dream about skydiving, and turning into an eagle mid-fall, but crashing into the ocean because he still had his parachute on and it was keeping him from soaring correctly.
Another person had a dream that he was a glass of orange juice, and was afraid he would spill.
But my dream...
I was General Cornbread Wrathboner, Emperor of All Things Edible. I was a British-Viking Dragonslayer, and not only was I a General in the ARMY OF KILLING THINGS, but I was the Lord of Food. *Emperor of All Things Edible and Lord of Food are not interchangeable titles, by the way.
I was in the middle of hunting the Ice Queen. She was not called the Ice Queen because she lived in an ice castle or because she had control over ice or anything. She was just a really cold bitch. But I digress. On my hunt, I came across Lord Aerial Ravenboner. Most people in this world had last names like Ravenboner or Wrathboner. He was named Aerial because he was born with wings, but this would prove to cause much ridicule in his schooling because he could not actually fly. He offered me an extra swordarm on my quest, and I gladly accepted, because these goblin munchkins were causing me much difficulty. They were like the Fleamen from Castlevania. Anyway we headed off in search of a man named Blueballs, as he was the only person who had ever met the Ice Queen and survived.
We met up with a ranger along the way, who went by the name of Elvira Noboner. Her last name probably originate from the fact that her family came from a long line of women. As do most people's families, except for the fact that there were no men in her entire family tree. I don't know how it was possible, but then again, I didn't think to ask. I probably should have.
We also found us a wizard, but we had to bribe him to join us. His name was Pointyfinger Sparklytits McGee. Because his fingers were pointy, his nipples were sparkly, and obviously, his last name was McGee because wizards don't get boners.
The four of us made it to the Castle of Cold Days and Colder Nights (long-winded name for a castle, it could've just been called the Ice Palace) and defeated the grue guarding the entrance. I wish I could remember what the grue looked like, but Pointyfinger has cast a spell of forgetfulness because remembering what a grue looks like can cause debilitating effects to a person's mind, such as not remembering what a grue looked like in your dream even after you've woken up.
We ran up the exactly 224 stairs to her throne (it's a fairly small place compared to most mythical castles) and began the epic battle of good vs. chilly. When I finally came to I was naked chasing a friend of mine down the street with a small hammer. Apparently I was trying to skin him alive to hang him above the fireplace I didn't have, but would inherit as soon as my imaginary Uncle Frank Angryballs passed away from the many tumors he had in his head. I had already knocked down the new neighbor's front door and fractured my own rib. Also I had thrown a brick at the police officer who had arrived in response to a call from the neighbors on the opposite side of the fence of the guy who had just moved in. Thankfully I missed, and all of us except the guy who threw the party were let go after questioning. Although I had to pay for the damages to the officer's car.

Next question: Have you ever been so drunk that when you start writing a story you have to go back every few seconds to make sure that what you typed actually happened and your mind isn't making up new details as you go along?