Defeating the Shinra

[Jiro]

There is no doubt that the Shinra are an evil corporation. Even under new leadership in the form of Rufus, the complete and utter pursuit of economic gain at the expense of the environment is rampant. This is absolutely horrendous. Our party, comprised mostly of AVALANCHE members, are determined to stop Shinra, no matter what. The might of this corporation is undeniable, but without money, they cannot fund their research, recruit train and equip their troops, nor book trips across the damn ocean.

When the Turks took Aerith, tit got real personal. Nobody takes mah bitch and gets away with it, ya know? That's why, on that day, I swore I would undo the Shinra Corporation entirely. I would take them apart piece by piece until they were nothin' more than a hunka junk as Barret would say. But how to do this? Sure, I could swing my sword around and smurf tit up. It'd feel good. But there is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes one must exercise subtle techniques.

We can fight our way through their soldiers. We can infiltrate their headquarters, defeating enemy after enemy, trashing their research projects and sexually harassing their employees. We can even beat the smurf out of their vending machines.

But nothing, my friends, nothing compares to the ruinous effect of flushing their toilet ten billion times to drive up their water bill and financially bankrupt them. What now, mothersmurfers?

http://i42.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:/dmv57b.png

[Jinx]

Followed by leaving their lights on....for a REALLY long time.

[VeloZer0]

Well they are a power company, so they probably promote policies of leaving lights on.

[Sephex]

If you flush the toilet in the Shinra HQ 4,523,967,143,942,143 times, you will be able to revive Aeris late in the game.

[Jinx]

Sephex, I thought if you flushed it enough times you got a summon better than KotR....:S

[Sephex]

Sephex, I thought if you flushed it enough times you got a summon better than KotR....:S

That's only on the XBox1080 remake version.

[Tigmafuzz]

I like this thread.

[Bubba]

If you flush the toilet in the Shinra HQ 4,523,967,143,942,143 times, you will be able to revive Aeris late in the game.

OK, so for the last 24 hours I've been attempting this and I've only reached 18,432 flushes. I'm starting to think that I might just give up.

Square are evil for devising such a complicated revival process. It's almost as if they never intended her to be revived...

I've worked out if I managed to hone my time down to 1 second per flush... then 100 years from now I will have acheived 3,041,280,000 flushes.

You know what, I'm just gonna leave it.

[Jinx]

Just throw a Phoenix Down on her, Bubba.

[Bubba]

Just throw a Phoenix Down on her, Bubba.

I always wondered why they never tried that...

[Jinx]

Because as Spoony once pointed out, characters can't do in cut scenes what they can do in combat. I mean, really. You've never seen Tifa Dolphin Kick anyone out of combat, have you?

[Bubba]

True, but I did see them use a Phoenix Down out of combat. I did it myself on the menu screen. Why couldn't they just do that?

[Mercen-X]

Disillusion! The Sleep Spell doesn't put characters to sleep, it just makes them too drousy to act. The character blacks out only when their HP reaches 0 and when the party is all KO'd it's assumed the monsters eat them and soldiers shoot them in the crotch and the head multiple times for good measure.
So, basically, being KO'd in combat is not the same as being killed therefore Phoenix Downs cannot be used to revive the dead otherwise we'd never be able to defeat a single damned boss because Phoenix Downs and Revive materia are all over the place and while bosses may be in some way dumb, they're not THAT dumb. Obviously, if Sephiroth can plan far enough ahead to drop a mutating arm of Jenova on top of you that you have to battle, he knows he can drop a Phoenix Down on it to revive it so it will kill your weakened party as you do your stupidass victory dance.
But I am still curious why non-canon Genesis is still alive according to the secret ending of doc.

[Jiro]

True, but I did see them use a Phoenix Down out of combat. I did it myself on the menu screen. Why couldn't they just do that?
She wasn't in the party so you couldn't do it. She was knocked out too, so she couldn't say the magic words and rejoin the party.

[Psychotic]

There is no doubt that the Shinra are an evil corporation. Even under new leadership in the form of Rufus, the complete and utter pursuit of economic gain at the expense of the environment is rampant. This is absolutely horrendous. smurf off with your leftist eco-warrior bulltit mate.

Shinra have god damn enriched the lives of everyone. They've brought safety, security and most importantly of all, technology to people. That toilet you're flushing... what the smurf kind of world do you think we'd be living in if it wasn't for flushing toilets? The streets would be lined with faecal matter. Did you ever go into the sewers beneath Don Corneo's mansion? This would be your daily life if it wasn't for Shinra.

Look at Wutai or Fort Condor. You ever been to those places? I bet you smurfing post on your tumblr about how ideallic they are and how you'd just love to visit someday. I've been to both and let me tell you they are just holes in the ground where they entertain themselves by drawing faces on turnips and hanging out in giant useless wooden pagodas all day.

Who the smurf do you think powered the computer you're using right now you jackass? Seriously. How short-sighted are you? Hypocritical son of a bitch. Don't even get me started on how they're the only ones doing anything about this Sephiroth jerkwad or these WEAPON cockmunches.

whatever man

AVALANCHE is awesome

yeah let's set technology back by thousands of years and murder countless innocent people with our terrorist bombs in the process

that sounds like a lark!

god

fucking

DAMN.

[Jiro]

You capitalist prick. I am all for development. However the Shinra are not doing things in a sustainable manner. They are killing the planet, and consciously too. There are many other ways to provide power to the people, and sustainable ways to go about it. Murdering the planet and slaughtering innocent people to maintain power.

Wutai is the way it is because the Shinra crushed it. What kind of "electric company" does that? The Shinra are obviously corrupt and interested only in lining their own pockets at the explicit expense of everyone and everything else.

If you want me to discuss alternatives to the techniques of your filthy Shinra dogs, we can do that. But your blind faith in the Shinra is disgusting, and a sad reflection on humanity.

[Psychotic]

Sorry, what? Killing the planet? Says fucking who? Some crazy old hermit who lives up in Cosmo Canyon? Gee, well, that's all the scientific evidence I need. Sorry President Rufus, best shut down the reactors and plunge us back into the stone age 'cause some random old coot says the planet will DIE because of it. Why, all of the trained and brilliant scientific minds you have in your service with the best equipment and research areas sure got it wrong! :roll2

Suppose you're right. Suppose using mako energy does kill the planet. So, uh, remind me again who it is who hordes all the fucking materia and goes around using it wily nily? AVALANCHE. And how much Mako energy do you think the Dune Buggy or Cloud's honking great chopper bike take up, hmm? And don't even get me fucking started on the Highwind. Why not destroy it after capturing it? Or is taking some years away from the planet's lifespan more convienient than having to walk, hmm?

Welp, how about I get you some stones for that glass house you're sitting in?

[Jiro]

Have you seen the environmental devastation around these reactors? Have you noticed that the land itself seems to dry up and perish around them? Have you noticed that the land becomes a waste? Mako Reactors are destroying the planet. For all the advancement Mako energy brings, it is ultimately a curse.

My emphasis is clearly on sustainability. Shinra does not provide this. Ignoring their complete and utter corruption, their approach is inefficient and incomprehensible. There are plenty of tecnnologies that could be employed in order to provide electricity. These methods could be localized to the actual environment. For instance, Costa Del Sol could employ solar energy. Wind turbines could have been set up outside of Midgar to power the city. Hell, solar energy would work there too if not for the fact that the villages, the original villages​, are covered by your fucking pizza.

[Psychotic]

You know where the biggest, dryest most awful wasteland of all is?

Cosmo Canyon. You know, Hippieville. QED. :smug:

[Sephex]

Cosmo Canyon.

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s26/Sephex/cosmocanyongeddit.png

[edczxcvbnm]

So I just back the toilets up with my massive shits and then flush the toilets repeatedly. This causes the water to go down whatever cracks it finds as I slowly flood the building. This adds years of wear and tear onto the infastructure of the building thus killing it before its time.

[Jiro]

You know where the biggest, dryest most awful wasteland of all is?

Cosmo Canyon. You know, Hippieville. QED. :smug:

Not only is Cosmo Canyon an actual naturally occurring formation, it also exists between Nibelheim and Gongaga, two areas that have had or do have reactors.

[Psychotic]

Not only is Cosmo Canyon an actual naturally occurring formation, it also exists between Nibelheim and Gongaga, two areas that have had or do have reactors.Oh hey Gongaga. Such a thriving metropolis. Remind me what happened there again... oh that's right, AVALANCHE blew the reactor up and killed 90% of the townsfolk. Good going! Slaughtering all those people and leaving the rest to live in squalor sure saved the planet!
So I just back the toilets up with my massive tits.The swear filter strikes again. edczxcvbnm = Tifa? SOMEONE MAKE A THEORY THREAD.

[Sephex]

Not only is Cosmo Canyon an actual naturally occurring formation, it also exists between Nibelheim and Gongaga, two areas that have had or do have reactors.Oh hey Gongaga. Such a thriving metropolis. Remind me what happened there again... oh that's right, AVALANCHE blew the reactor up and killed 90% of the townsfolk. Good going! Slaughtering all those people and leaving the rest to live in squalor sure saved the planet!
So I just back the toilets up with my massive tits.The swear filter strikes again. edczxcvbnm = Tifa? SOMEONE MAKE A THEORY THREAD.

If edczxcvbnm was Tifa....that would be very awkward.

[Bubba]

This thread is officially legendary.

[Raistlin]

So AVALANCHE is group of tree-hugging pinkos all about "saving the planet," but you want to waste billions of gallons of water? :screwy:

[Jiro]

SOMETIMES SACRIFICES HAVE TO BE MADE FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

And iirc the Gongaga reactor MALFUNCTIONED and caused the death of like the whole smurfing town. At least make your death machines probably you dickbitch!

[Mercen-X]

Oh hey Gongaga: Such a thriving metropolis... Remind me what happened there again... oh! that's right! AVALANCHE blew the reactor up and killed 90% of the townsfolk. Good going! Slaughtering all those people and leaving the rest to live in squalor sure saved the planet!yolie sure living up to your name's sake there, Psyc... When did any of that happen? :screwy:

[Hollycat]

Wutai logic:

We have the power to defeat shinra, all we have to do is turn into monsters and summon Leviathin, but do we have enough honor coins to afford such an action... nope.

Oh no we have been defeated by Shinra. What? They decided NOT to make a Wutai reactor after all? Blastphemy! We shall have our revenge by turning our country into a souvenir shop and bankrupting all of Shinra with over priced turtle soup!

What? Shinra is being destroyed from the inside and being attacked by Sephiroth, Weapons, and a group of hormone crazy teenagers and the only black man on the planet? Don't gather the troops, I'll let my daughter do the fighting.

[Mercen-X]

we turn into monsters Why was Godo's the only specialized transformation?
summon Leviathincurse of Levia-thinner?


Shinra is being destroyed by a group of hormone crazy teenagers and the only black man on the planet? Don't gather the troops, I'll let my daughter do the fighting.
While I agree Aerith, Tifa, and Cloud are hormonal, Yuffie remains the only teenager (not counting Nanaki)... also Barret is not black, he's just dirty from years of coal mining and he never showers. Also, you forgot to mention the double-agent doll Cait Sith.