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jenovajunkie
03-23-2012, 11:30 PM
Date date date...
...love love love...


....or stalk stalk stalK.



I'm really enjoying forums!

My first love was the one to get me playing FF7. Maybe that's why I associate dating/love with FF. I don't know how I got on this site though...



So I was reading "krissy"'s last post on my pick up
line thread, and she suggested online dating.



So this got me thinking again. And you know what happens when I think.
Let's thread about it!


:kakapo:


So what would you put in your profile?
If you were looking for your ideal partner, what would be things you would look for? AND...
If you have/had already seen profiles, what is the most ridiculous one you have seen?

I promise my next thread will pertain to this site's main theme. And of course you can make up profiles. But I want genuine stuff, but joking is always good!

Jinx
03-23-2012, 11:36 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.

Peegee
03-23-2012, 11:40 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.

Will you settle for a guy who's a big dick?

Sephex
03-24-2012, 12:24 AM
I have an excuse to post this now. My OkCupid profile.

OkCupid | Sephex / 29 / M / Flossmoor, Illinois (http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Sephex)

If you liked that, further reading (journal posts):

OkCupid | Sephex / 29 / M / Flossmoor, Illinois (http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Sephex/journal)

Shlup
03-24-2012, 12:44 AM
I feel like I should be censoring this thread, but I can't decide if it's the use of the word "dick" or Sephex's OKCupid profile that's the offensive part. IT'S TOO LONG, SEPHEX.

My online dating profile would have to say "I am an adulterous whore," but I don't have one because I'm not.

Jiro
03-24-2012, 12:52 AM
Sephex's profile is the best thing ever. I can't afford the rate though :(

What would I put in my profile? Nothing. I would leave it absolutely blank and let my innate magnetism attract them.

Goldenboko
03-24-2012, 01:40 AM
I would just put a picture of Dakoda.

Bunny
03-24-2012, 02:18 AM
The internet is a place for truth and honesty and that is exactly what I would do.

jenovajunkie
03-24-2012, 03:00 AM
Hey internet is for truth and honesty? Sure, and santa claus really eats the cookies you leave him, not the Easter Bunny. Sephex, I read your profile. 9.99 eh? AN HOUR?? At least if the girl sleeps with you, she'll only have to pay a small fraction of the hourly rate. Wait bad joke.....? How about this, at least you can CHARGE THEM. Which is the opposite fact for me. Oh boy... so how bout them chocobo's?

Sephex
03-24-2012, 03:14 AM
To everyone who looked at my profile so far: I am glad you guys are enjoying it. I wrote it several years ago very hung over. That probably wasn't a good decision.

NOTE: With the profile up there exactly how it is I have met and dated several people.

Jiro
03-24-2012, 03:29 AM
People probably find you entertaining and funny and even witty and take a gamble. How many bodies do you have stored now?

Bunny
03-24-2012, 03:36 AM
That is a very personal question, Jiro.

Jiro
03-24-2012, 03:42 AM
We have a good relationship.

Sephex
03-24-2012, 04:02 AM
That is a very personal question, Jiro.

It's not a problem.


People probably find you entertaining and funny and even witty and take a gamble. How many bodies do you have stored now?

Only one. The rest of them I threw out after -snip-

No one wants to know that, Sephex.~mod

fire_of_avalon
03-24-2012, 04:29 AM
eHarmony rejected me.

Shiny
03-24-2012, 04:33 AM
Why do they reject people?

Jinx
03-24-2012, 04:53 AM
Cos in life, they're still starting characters.

fire_of_avalon
03-24-2012, 04:55 AM
I don't know I just like to make people uncomfortable by telling them that.

jenovajunkie
03-24-2012, 08:51 AM
Wouldn't that confuse people? I would be confused, not uncomfortable.

Freya
03-24-2012, 09:33 AM
So I was reading "krissy"'s last post on my pick up
line thread, and she suggested online dating.


Lol she.... heh

Jiro
03-24-2012, 09:38 AM
krissy a bro bro nevermind dat av and dat nombreh

krissy
03-24-2012, 06:06 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.

jenovajunkie
03-24-2012, 06:19 PM
Well that's misleading, especially the comment above. So much to learn....


Cos in life, they're still starting characters.
What do you mean, they are some sort of step in his journey? I apologize if I'm incredibly dumb right now, I'm tired and my mind is mush from drinking the night before.

NeoCracker
03-24-2012, 06:23 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.


I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

drotato
03-24-2012, 07:31 PM
My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...

NorthernChaosGod
03-24-2012, 10:11 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.


I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_O

Ultima Shadow
03-25-2012, 12:22 AM
I just want a guy with a big dick.


I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_OIf he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:

NeoCracker
03-25-2012, 12:26 AM
I just want a guy with a big dick.


I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_OIf he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:

So you're excessively greasy?

Ultima Shadow
03-25-2012, 12:51 AM
I just want a guy with a big dick.


I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_OIf he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:

So you're excessively greasy?Well, though I would use another word for it personally, I guess you could use "greasy" to describe the after-sex state of me, my partner and even the surrounding area. I usually need to call the cleaning department afterwards too.

NeoCracker
03-25-2012, 01:02 AM
...For the sake of ever getting laid, I highly suggest you never say that again.

Ultima Shadow
03-25-2012, 01:22 AM
It's called "fetish", Neo. Some just happen to be a bit more "extreme" than others. :jokey:

NeoCracker
03-25-2012, 01:25 AM
I originally had a comment for NCG, but I was derailed by images of grease.

Ultima Shadow
03-25-2012, 01:32 AM
Now you'll never be able to enjoy a hamburger at McDonalds ever again. Each time you even hear the word "grease", those images will haunt you!

Mission accomplished!

NeoCracker
03-25-2012, 01:35 AM
I don't eat McDonalds anyway. :p

And who said the images were a bad thing?

Ultima Shadow
03-25-2012, 01:46 AM
And who said the images were a bad thing?
Oh my, looks like I managed to find another person sharing my unique fetish! NEO! LET'S GET GREASY TOGETHER!!! <3

NorthernChaosGod
03-25-2012, 02:13 AM
Get a room, you guys.

NeoCracker
03-25-2012, 02:51 AM
I was imagining a cheese pizza, I've no Idea what he was talking about.

:shifty:

Jiro
03-25-2012, 03:18 AM
seriously greaase is gross gusy fuck

NorthernChaosGod
03-25-2012, 10:44 PM
My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...

Ha! That's awesome. Do you still have the account link?

drotato
03-26-2012, 01:16 AM
My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...

Ha! That's awesome. Do you still have the account link?
Haha, no, I don't think so. I wouldn't even be able to find it if I did still have it. o. o

NorthernChaosGod
03-26-2012, 03:19 AM
:colbert:

drotato
03-26-2012, 04:31 AM
:colbert:
Heeey.... Why do you want it anywaaaay? :jokey:

NorthernChaosGod
03-26-2012, 06:36 AM
I have my reasons.

jenovajunkie
03-26-2012, 05:22 PM
"Hey. You. Me. 10 minutes my place. A bucket of chicken, tub of grease, some KY and trojan. Hell I'll even order a pizza. Extra cheese and sausage. Bada-bing-bada-boom. Well what you think. I think I just blew my load talking about it. Because it's hot, that's what that is."

That could work right? Hahaa if it's read at a constant speed, it works.

Jinx
03-26-2012, 05:41 PM
Using lube with condoms breaks them, mate.

Get pre-lubed condoms. ;)

Sephex
03-26-2012, 06:40 PM
And don't lube up condoms that come pre-lubed, either. You go so fast that the friction eventually generates too much heat setting whatever you are having sex on in flames along with your public hair, if you have any.

It was on Mythbusters.

Peegee
03-26-2012, 06:53 PM
wait.

so hypothetically how would I go about having anal sex? would I just hope that the anal sex condoms had enough lube??

Jinx
03-26-2012, 06:59 PM
Last time I checked, you couldn't get pregnant in yr butt.

Peegee
03-26-2012, 07:05 PM
Last time I checked, you couldn't get pregnant in yr butt.

....STDs. HIVs. HPVs... STIs. ew.

drotato
03-26-2012, 07:15 PM
Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @

Jinx
03-26-2012, 07:33 PM
HPV is vaginal, though.

drotato
03-26-2012, 08:26 PM
what are your suggested online dating site? :)
The only free one I have used is okcupid. It's not too bad. There are lots of people that use it, and tons of people will probably be in your area. And you can make your profile as detailed as you like. (:

NorthernChaosGod
03-27-2012, 12:41 AM
I'm pretty sure water-based lube is okay to use with condoms, guize.

Peegee
03-27-2012, 12:44 AM
HPV is vaginal, though.

....what? this demands sauce.

STD Facts - Human papillomavirus (HPV) (http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm)

>penis cancer
>females
>with penes
>chicks with dicks

No thanks.

So as I was saying - I have to hope that anal sex is okay with vanilla anal condoms?

jenovajunkie
03-27-2012, 04:21 AM
Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @
Because anal sex is the way to go! .... :excited:
J/K.... sorta.

drotato
03-27-2012, 04:43 AM
Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @
Because anal sex is the way to go! .... :excited:
J/K.... sorta.
Hmmm... I dunno if I'm gonna believe that. <. <

Jinx
03-27-2012, 04:57 AM
Anal is the worst.

drotato
03-27-2012, 05:32 AM
It seriously is... Ugh.

NorthernChaosGod
03-27-2012, 06:55 AM
:Oo:

drotato
03-27-2012, 07:00 PM
What? :blush:

Unbreakable Will
03-27-2012, 07:05 PM
:smug:

Psychotic
03-27-2012, 07:06 PM
Stop being inappropriate weirdos, you inappropriate weirdos. :colbert:

NorthernChaosGod
03-27-2012, 07:14 PM
I thought you liked it when I did that, Paul. :(

DMKA
03-27-2012, 07:38 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.

Wow.

Jiro
03-27-2012, 07:49 PM
Stop being inappropriate weirdos, you inappropriate weirdos. :colbert:
Somehow I agree with the Big P.

Peegee
03-27-2012, 11:53 PM
I just want a guy with a big dick.

Wow.

Do it dimka. do it for your team. (not that team. the guys team)