View Full Version : Battleship

05-08-2012, 06:09 AM
Starring Liam Neeson and Rihanna. God. I have a rule that any film with Liam Neeson and/or Jason Statham in it I'm required to watch. Godammit. This movie looks likes shit, like a Transformers film, but even worse, believe it or not.

What's next? Candyland starring Daniel Craig and Katy Perry? Monopoly starring Sean Connery and Nicki Minaj? Groan.

Discuss shit. And by shit, this shit.

05-08-2012, 06:31 AM
The Game of Life starring Steve Carrell. His wife is TBD. It's just him in a car talking about random shit getting older and older every second. His wife and children randomly pop up in the back seat.

05-08-2012, 12:58 PM
Mouse Trap starring Bjork.

Loony BoB
05-08-2012, 01:08 PM
8 Mile was pretty good. Will Smith is awesome, too. I don't think it's impossible for a musician to be good at acting, so I'll hold judgement 'til I see it. If I ever see it. :p

Despite all that, it does look kind of... eh. Lacking. Most of these kind of movies grab you with some incredible idea, groundbreaking (and I do mean groundbreaking, not just really good) imagery/animations/etc or else some kind of nostalgia. I don't know about you guys, but this doesn't really bring much amazing nostalgia. Battleships was an amusing game but nothing I'd make a movie over. I don't think it'll be anything like the game it's supposedly based on anyway, so I'll just dismiss attempts at nostaglia entirely. Incredible idea? No, not really. Groundbreaking imagery? This isn't Jurassic Park or Avatar, so I'm gonna go with 'no' for that end, too. It doesn't even have Will Smith, does it?

Maybe the acting will turn out to be incredible and the story equally fantastic, but I won't hold my breath on either count.

05-08-2012, 05:29 PM
wait what is this thread about? 8 mile is a good film because it's semi autobiographical (hurr no it isn't) - battle tits is not a good film because it's gibberish.

How the hell do they even defeat the thing at the end? It better not end like skyline!

Del Murder
05-08-2012, 08:08 PM
I won't see it, but I sure hope the line 'you sunk my battleship!' makes it into the movie.

05-08-2012, 09:53 PM
BUt it had explosions and stuff :( What does it take to make you guys happy? EXPLOSIONS! ALIENS! COME ON!

05-08-2012, 11:06 PM
I won't see it, but I sure hope the line 'you sunk my battleship!' makes it into the movie.

It's not in it apparently :(

Del Murder
05-08-2012, 11:29 PM
Then what the hell's the point?

05-08-2012, 11:56 PM
How the hell do they even defeat the thing at the end? It better not end like skyline!

I really want to see the sequel to Skyline. Originally, I didn't even want to see the movie. But once I checked it out from Redbox, suddenly, I thought, "I gotta see what happens next." Or maybe it was something like, "the next one can't end any dumber..."

Naming movies after boardgames has never actually been a good idea. The mind is too incarcerated by nostalgia to accept a movie that isn't 100% true to the game of the same name, even if there's not a movie to be had from that game which is reason number two why movies should not be named for boardgames.

Or at least, it shouldn't be advertised at such. When I first saw the Battleship commercial, I just kind of assumed, it was named for the fact that most of the action takes place aboard a battleship. But then I read up on it and found that this sh is partially based on the game. Battleship, as a title, is fine (although I wish it wasn't battling aliens, that just doesn't compute to me). Trouble, as a title, is fine. Hell, Candyland and Monopoly, as titles for a film, are fine. You just need to separate the idea that the name and the boardgame are inherently linked. If you're not able to do that, or, in fact, like a mentally defunct head-trauma victim, decide to use the connection in some desperate attempt to appeal to an extremely narrow fanbase, you're film is SCREWED!

05-12-2012, 07:02 AM
Liam Neeson will somehow save this film. The guy is basically jesus.