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Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:00 PM
IT'S TIME

MID-YEAR CIDDIES 2012

ARE YOU READY?


Thank you to all of the voters, all the speech writers, and a big special thank you to Freya and Jiro for collecting the speeches and also running the Prediction Party.

Things you can expect to see this year:

A mostly fast Del-Murder-style Ciddies!
Award Bot flailing around to get the final few speeches in!
A... SPECIAL VISITOR?!?!


And more!


37 VOTERS
1945 VOTES

IT'S TIME


Edit: The Final Count!

LIST OF WINNERS

Best Member: Pike
Best Male: Jiro
Best Female: Pike
Best Admin: Del Murder
Best Cid's Knight: Pike
Best Developer/Editor/Tech Admin: Baloki
Best Recognized Member/Former Staff: Agent Proto
Best Oldbie: NorthernChaosGod
Best Veteran: Melissaur
Best Newbie: Bubbaforever
Cutest Male: Jiro
Cutest Female: Tifa's Boobs
Best Custom Rank: Pike
Best Avatar: Freya
Best Signature: Psychotic
Best Artist: Pete for President
Best Writer: Pike
Best General Forums Poster: Pike
Best Final Fantasy Forums Poster: Wolf Kanno
Best #eoff Chatter: Rantz Rantz Revolution
Best Blogger: Raistlin
Best Newswriter: Freya
Best Thread: Del Murder is a jerk
Best Post: Worst/Creepiest Pick-up Lines
Nicest Member: Pike
Snarkiest Member: Bunny
Funniest Member: Old Manus
Craziest Member: Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Most Intimidating Member: Miriel
Most Underrated Member: Bubbaforever
Most Missed Member: Levian
Most Hardcore Gamer: Pike
Biggest Final Fantasy Fangirl: Loony BoB
Most Helpful Member: Rantz Rantz Revolution
Cutest Couple: I'm my own MILF & Pike
MLT Become a Cid's Knight: Freya
MLT Get Permabanned: Phoenix Rising
MLT Win a Ciddie for the Very First Time: Tifa's Boobs
MLT Win a Ciddie for the Very Last Time: Phoenix Rising
MLT Be the Hero/Heroine of the Next Big Final Fantasy Game: Jiro
MLT be the Beautiful Villain of the Next Big Final Fantasy Game: Quin
MLT be the Sidekick that People Either Love or Hate in the Next Big Final Fantasy Game: Hypoallergenic Cactuar
MLT Pull a Jiro and Completely Lose it on the Forums: Shlup
MLT Become a Space Miner: The Space Pope
MLT Live in a Survivalist Compound Surrounded by Guns and Tinfoil Hats: theundeadhero
MLT Rig the Ciddies: Del Murder
MLT Be a Viral Marketing Bot for Square-Enix: Roogle
MLT Be GLaDOS: Shlup
MLT Be Wheatley: Quin
MLT Get Together: Iceglow & I'm my own MILF

Site Highwind Award: Samuraid
Forums Highwind Award: Pike

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 07:00 PM
IT'S HAPPENING!

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:02 PM
they're here...

Pike
06-22-2012, 07:03 PM
IT'S HAPPENING!

HAPPENING PAST HAPPENING

Rantz
06-22-2012, 07:04 PM
And so it begins.

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:04 PM
I've got your momma and I got your dad
and all the lovin' that you ever had

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:06 PM
50. MLT Get Together
Nomination leader(s): They were all tied!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Iceglow & Flambard D'Quinceteth
SuperMillionaire & Tifa's Boobs
Freya & G13
Iceglow & I'm my own MILF

escobert
06-22-2012, 07:07 PM
YAY I WON

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 07:08 PM
Blatantly Steve x Arthur luvluv OTP 4 lief

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:09 PM
they all know they've won so they are going to have some wet, thorough sex as a honeymoon

Rantz
06-22-2012, 07:09 PM
Let's make SuperMillionaire's dreams come true.

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 07:09 PM
those sure are some fancy chocobos

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:09 PM
We start our Ciddies journey each half year with the light hearted sort of ambling that is the Most Likely To Get Together award. This award is perhaps the pinnacle of joke awards, and as such, the Ciddies is actually one big downwards sliding suckfest from this point onwards. However, while in previous years there have been some quirky couples suggested and many a ribbing, this Ciddies nominees are all very...bland. I don't mean to detract from the nominees themselves, oh no; it's not their fault that their potential copulation gives me neither joy nor pleasure. It is the fault of the rest of you sorry sods who can't be creative, funny or at the goddamn least, literal.

Let's start with the first thing you did wrong. Iceglow is nominated twice here. Once to hook up with Quin, once to hook up with MILF. Now I have to give you some credit here, because for all Iceglow's bragging about sticking it to Quin's sister (and mother!), we all know it's because our man Iceglow actually has a raging hardon for the ol' Harle-meister. Who can blame him though? But despite the one inkling of success in your entire grotesque bodies, you have also failed to realise a very simple point.
http://db.tt/XTo0JcU0
Okay so that's not a very flattering photo.
http://db.tt/A6S6xiwR


Now that we've covered that, let's move onto the most important oversight. Where are my nominations here? What, am I not smurfing good enough for you? I fly across the goddamn world to get to the USA, then I flew around the entire smurfing country trying to visit you jackasses. It hurts me deep inside my little Australian heart that none of you enjoyed my company enough to want to be with me :(

Well smurf you guys. Enjoy your goddamn Ciddies and I hope Iceglow keeps you warm at night. :cry:

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 07:10 PM
But are they robots?

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:10 PM
I like it when Jiro is crying and upset

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 07:11 PM
Jesus Christ Steve you look like a literal paedophile with that 'stache

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:13 PM
50. MLT Get Together
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL & the incomparably magnificent crest plumage characteristic of the adults of his species........1
Freya & G13............................3
SuperMillionaire & Tifa's Boobs........7



Iceglow & Flambard D'Quinceteth........10
Iceglow & I'm my own MILF..............15

And the Ciddie goes to…


Iceglow and I'm my own MILF!
This is truly the One True Pairing of the forum. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 07:14 PM
Jesus Christ Steve you look like a literal paedophile with that 'stacheYeah, looks like...

Oh and he's your new hubby. Congrats~

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 07:14 PM
What

WHAT

Pike
06-22-2012, 07:14 PM
AHAHAHAHAHA

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 07:15 PM
The OTP

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 07:15 PM
Not quite all :cry:

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:16 PM
looks like some action

Slothy
06-22-2012, 07:17 PM
AHAHAHAHAHA

Sums up my reaction.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:17 PM
49. MLT Be Wheatley
Nomination leader(s): Psychotic and Iceglow (tied)

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
The Man
Baloki
Iceglow
Psychotic
Flambard D'Quinceteth

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 07:18 PM
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air - Everybody Loves Somebody Sometimes - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgbrZLipGrY)

huxley and steve

imho

Shorty
06-22-2012, 07:19 PM
ahahahaha that was amazing

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:19 PM
I thought We could start this one by determining exactly how much each of these people are Wheatly.
First up we have the man, who try as I might but I can't think of him as Wheatly. Maybe I just don't see him the same as other people do..
What I do see is that of all the characteristics Wheatly has, The Man is undoubtedly the only one here I imagine with a British accent.


I'm going to go off on a tangent here for a moment and be honest for once. How in the world is Baloki anything like Wheatly at all?
Either I'm completely confused about who Baloki is (which is actually quite possible I must admit) or this is part of some evil plot to make Baloki walk away with as many ciddies as possible.


Next up is Iceglow. Iceglow is a bit like Wheatly after being put in control of the Aperature research center. Greedy, maniacle, foul smelling and most of all, as eager to get rid of those who insult him as a pubescent boy is to get rid of his virginity.
In retrospect, it may not have been such a good idea for me to insult him so blatantly...
Oh,well


Fourth in line for the crown is Psychotic. Psychotic is the power hungry Wheatly with a nagging sense that in order for his life to get better he must kill all humans. Just look at the mans signature if you want to see proof of him being Psychotic (oh, so that's where his name came from)
Unfortunately, Psychotics killing sprees seem to mainly consist of bots and demondude.


Last in line is Quin. This can stand for, (and has) many different things. His name, his home town, this favorite four letters, but I prefer to imagine it to mean Harlequin. Mr. Flambard is undoubtedly the closest we see to being like the original Wheatly who tried conduct a manual override on a metal wall.
I can clearly imagine Quin standing in a room surrounded by companion cubes trying to figure out how to push them all through a round hole in the floor, not realising the door is already open and he can leave any time he wants.

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:23 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:24 PM
49. MLT Be Wheatley
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
Baloki.................................2
The Man................................5
Psychotic..............................6



Iceglow................................7
Flambard D'Quinceteth..................12

And the Ciddie goes to…


Flambard D'Quinceteth!
...spaaaaace? Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:24 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

They're a race of people who have landed today. We get to meet them today.

Slothy
06-22-2012, 07:24 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

Maybe I can join you in the unemployment line.

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 07:25 PM
Look at that, it's all my precious little lads. Huxley, Steve and Quin all winning. Bless all of you :love:

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:26 PM
Look at that, it's all my precious little lads. Huxley, Steve and Quin all winning. Bless all of you :love:
Have I been cast out from you, Psychotic?

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:27 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

They're a race of people who have landed today. We get to meet them today.

That's actually a good answer. From now on when non internet people ask me about message boards, I am going to discuss them as if I were talking about communicating with aliens, which is actually probably pretty accurate.

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:28 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

They're a race of people who have landed today. We get to meet them today.

That's actually a good answer. From now on when non internet people ask me about message boards, I am going to discuss them as if I were talking about communicating with aliens, which is actually probably pretty accurate.

Or you could just say, "Oh, you know... New York, Los Angeles, Detroit, etc."

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:30 PM
48. MLT Be Glados
Nomination leader(s): Shlup

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Shlup
Pike
fire_of_avalon
Jessweeee♪
Sylvie

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:31 PM
Just laughed out loud hard at work at the whole Iceglow and MILF thing.

"So why'd you get fired, Justin?"

"Because of the Ciddies."

"The...the what?"

They're a race of people who have landed today. We get to meet them today.

That's actually a good answer. From now on when non internet people ask me about message boards, I am going to discuss them as if I were talking about communicating with aliens, which is actually probably pretty accurate.

Or you could just say, "Oh, you know... New York, Los Angeles, Detroit, etc."

Touche'

Rantz
06-22-2012, 07:32 PM
Let's go British sweeping!!

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 07:32 PM
My speeches don't read as well as I thought they did...

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:33 PM
My speeches don't read as well as I thought they did...

Don't worry, your uppance will come!

Slothy
06-22-2012, 07:33 PM
I hope our resident future genderless robot wins this. It's definitely the most deserving.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:34 PM
I'll be honest. I thought this would be an easy speech to write, but you know what, it isn't. All of these girls perfectly emulate one part of GLaDOS, One of them likes to play with neurotoxin, one would kill companion cube at your birthday party for a laugh, one generally just wants to conduct tests, one is her human personality and the last one, well the last one just really really wants play a game with you.
http://i545.photobucket.com/albums/hh376/imtheproof/saw_doll_tv.png
With all the varied actions and the way they fit together, these lovely ladies are almost like some kind of personality cores connected to a central hub. D:

Let us all pray diligently we never get on the bad side of these girls lest we have to spend ten years in the chamber where all the robots scream at you.

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:36 PM
I'll be honest. I thought this would be an easy speech to write, but you know what, it isn't. All of these girls perfectly emulate one part of GLaDOS, One of them likes to play with neurotoxin, one would kill companion cube at your birthday party for a laugh, one generally just wants to conduct tests, one is her human personality and the last one, well the last one just really really wants play a game with you.
http://i545.photobucket.com/albums/hh376/imtheproof/saw_doll_tv.png
With all the varied actions and the way they fit together, these lovely ladies are almost like some kind of personality cores connected to a central hub. D:

Let us all pray diligently we never get on the bad side of these girls lest we have to spend ten years in the chamber where all the robots scream at you.


That one was good, HC. Relax, man.

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:36 PM
If we all lived beside the seaside!

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:37 PM
If we all just lived by the sea!

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:37 PM
Wouldn't it be nice? Maybe once or twice?

Bubba
06-22-2012, 07:38 PM
Don't sell yourself short, HC. They were excellent.

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:38 PM
Psycho-tic, bought us all ice cream~

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:39 PM
48. MLT Be GLaDOS
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
Jessweeee♪.............................1
fire_of_avalon.........................3
Sylvie.................................6



Pike...................................7
Shlup.................................16

And the Ciddie goes to…


Shlup!
Shlup will be providing cake after the test. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:40 PM
I approve of any Shlup-based wins!

Slothy
06-22-2012, 07:40 PM
Shlup will be providing cake after the test. Congratulations!

I suggest we all leave post haste lest we be caught in her web of destruction with the promise of fictional cake.

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:40 PM
I was 3rd. Congratulations, Shlup.

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:41 PM
This was one of the few awards I was sure who the winner would be.

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 07:41 PM
I hope we can expect the cakes to be real this time. Shlup's a great baker I hear.

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 07:41 PM
Any promises of cake from Shlup are obviously a lie because she would eat them all herself.

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:41 PM
rSk_37So0Xk

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:42 PM
47. MLT Be a Viral Marketing Bot for Square Enix
Nomination leader(s): Loony BoB

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Roogle
Loony BoB
ShinGundam
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Wolf Kanno

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:43 PM
I hope Roogle wins this:

NaMnBT4jDi8

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:44 PM
Look at that moogle dance!

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:44 PM
I would like to interrupt the Ciddies for just a moment to point out that it has been CRASHED by Jason Lynch, aka Aexoden from #eoff chat, who literally CRASHED into my bookshelf.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:46 PM
Remember that time we were told Square Enix had bought the site? Wasn’t that a laugh. Square Enix is not doing so crash hot as a development studio these days. As publishers, they’re on fire, but the Final Fantasy series has been seriously dividing its fan base since… what, the early 2000s? With the popularity of the series taking a hit as dudebro shooters and their ilk become more popular, it stands to reason that Square Enix might try something outlandish and employ a viral marketing bot to try and boost popularity. My concern is that they would be wasting resources by sending this bot to advertise to the people most likely to buy their product anyway; although with some of your opinions and responses toward the Final Fantasy series, perhaps the fans are drifting away too.

Here are the facts: the people of EoFF believe that there are five of us with the posting habits and personality of an advertisement bot. Personally, I’d be offended to be nominated for this award. It’s like being told you are utterly incapable of logic or reason and are instead a slave to a single cause: increasing the popularity of the Final Fantasy series. That’s a pretty titty gig, and I hear bots don’t get paid well. Right, Award Bot? What’d they pay you, a couple fried motherboards and a copper coil as a tip? Let’s look at these five unfortunate souls and see which one of them would make the best bot. Apart from Award Bot, of course. Please don’t laser beam me, bro.


Roogle:
Roogle would make a horrible bot. Sure, he has a strange, robotic quality to his personality, but if you’re going to advertise on a forum, get a bot who posts. That being said, perhaps Roogle is the single greatest creation Square Enix has ever made; not only does he communicate in REAL TIME in #eoff, I also had the good fortune of using his couch as a temporary base. Dedicated to selling me the next big FF game, I guess. We did discuss Final Fantasy Tactics while I was there, as well…

Loony BoB:
Not as prone to inactivity, Loony BoB would make a rather fine ad bot for FF XIV. Most of his posts in the lower forums of late have been about how this game is not as tit as everybody first thought and encouraging others to give it a try. I’m onto you, BoB. I’m alerting the other admins and they’re going to take you out back and remove your operating core. WE’RE NOT A PART OF YOUR SYSTEM.

ShinGundam:
Who’s ShinGundam, I hear you ask. Exactly. A prolific poster in the lower forums, ShinGundam is always discussing the series. He is not always supremely positive about the series, but he rarely has an aggressive argument highlighting faults either. This is the kind of behaviour you would expect from a well-designed bot who is trying to fly under the radar.

Hypoallergenic Cactuar:
If you want a bot that gets attention, this is the way to play it. Spammer Extraordinaire, Hypoallergenic Cactuar seems hell bent on being at least one half of the forum’s total posts all by himself. What many do not realise is that beneath the ponies and random nonsense is a super fanboy for Zack Fair, one of the posterboys for the Final Fantasy VII Compilation, which just so happens to be one of the single most successful franchises Square Enix has created…

Wolf Kanno:
Horrible idea. If Square Enix designed Wolf Kanno then something went wrong in the process and allowed him to escape from their facilities using a series of tubes that led him here to this website. Why? Because only Vivi22 can bash Final Fantasy games as well as him. He might have a lot of love for the series but if you’re going to tear strips off your own merchandise then you are not performing to normal specifications. Wolf Kanno is not a bot. Or at least, not a Square Enix bot.

So which one of these fine folks is your comrade, Award Bot? Out with it!

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:47 PM
vooPXUkiPVE

LIES JIRO, LOONY BoB IS THE POSTER BOY OF INACTIVITY *whip-cracks*

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 07:49 PM
Filler post.

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:50 PM
Filler post.

*counters*

Freya
06-22-2012, 07:50 PM
Woo ciddies!

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:51 PM
47. MLT Be a Viral Marketing Bot for Square Enix
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
Hypoallergenic Cactuar.................5
ShinGundam.............................7
Wolf Kanno.............................7



Loony BoB..............................8
Roogle.................................9

And the Ciddie goes to…


Roogle!
This was a tight race. Perhaps our bot-spotting skills are getting a little rusty now that we've got all those ones who join and start legitimate topics. Congratulations Roogle!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 07:51 PM
aw yea awesome

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 07:51 PM
Filler post.

*counters*
bump

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:53 PM
WOOT FOR ROOGLE!

2h4R9oXVGcw

*counter-bumps HC*

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 07:53 PM
*grumbles*

Sephex
06-22-2012, 07:54 PM
Congrats to Roogle! Now market us a game like the good old days! getoffmylawn.jpg

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:54 PM
46. MLT Rig the Ciddies
Nomination leader(s): Loony BoB

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Del Murder
Agent Proto
I'm my own MILF
Pike
Loony BoB
Jiro
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Quina

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:54 PM
*grumbles*

Let's turn that frown upside down!

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 07:55 PM
*grumbles*

Let's turn that frown upside down!
Get that lollipop away from me.

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:55 PM
*grumbles*

Let's turn that frown upside down!
Get that lollipop away from me.

You'll take what I give you and like it!

Slothy
06-22-2012, 07:55 PM
Wolf Kanno:
Horrible idea. If Square Enix designed Wolf Kanno then something went wrong in the process and allowed him to escape from their facilities using a series of tubes that led him here to this website. Why? Because only Vivi22 can bash Final Fantasy games as well as him.

It is an honour to be as highly regarded as WK when it comes to ripping open FF titles and poking the gooey innards with a stick. To WK, I salute you.

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 07:56 PM
Quina actually did rig the Ciddies once. No one else has the chops to pull it off.

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 07:56 PM
next time there needs to be a best vm'er award

Baloki
06-22-2012, 07:56 PM
_8IkRrJkTuI

WERE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH?

Del Murder
06-22-2012, 07:57 PM
Quina actually did rig the Ciddies once. No one else has the chops to pull it off.
QFT

Though I bet BoB has rigged it at some point. I mean he won Best Member six times.

And hey, I'm 100% in predictions so far! Let's end the Ciddies right now so I can claim my prize.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 07:58 PM
HEY, YO, LET'S GO

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 07:59 PM
Rigging the Ciddies isn’t just something you can pull off on a Sunday afternoon after you get back from having tea with your grandma. This is serious tit, and it takes a serious approach to have any sort of success. Have you seen Fast Five? Notice how they planned their asses off before attempting the heist? NOTICE HOW EVEN WITH ALL THAT PREPARATION YOU CAN STILL GET BUSTED?! Yeah, so don’t go into this bulltit expecting that you can rig the Ciddies and walk away with swag. You’ll just end up with pie on your face. Peegee pie.

So you want to rig the Ciddies, but you don’t know how. Well I’ve been looking into this and I think I’ve discovered a sure fire way. It takes time, skill, a lot of effort and a little bit of luck, but if you play your cards right then you too can sweep the Ciddies a la Psychotic.

Step One: Choose your approach
There are a few ways to go about rigging the Ciddies. First of all, the most direct way to rig the Ciddies is to run the Ciddies. This will put you right in the hotseat with all of the power and make it infinitely easier to pull off. The other alternative is to work yourself into a position of power – Cid’s Knight will do, but if you’re looking for overkill, Administrator works – and sit tight. You don’t want the first rigged Ciddies to be your first as a fresh faced recruit. You need to settle in first.

Step Two: Work your ass off
Regardless of the path you’ve chosen, you need to put in some hard yards to get there. Loony BoB is not going to turn up to your house with tea and biscuits just because you ask him to. You need to commit to EoFF and improve EoFF and follow the smurfing rules in order to be seen, be noticed and get yourself a spot. Funnily enough, it is far easier to become the next Ciddies host than it is to become the next Cid’s Knight, so I recommend the former. Run some events, post a lot, be a general top dude and with enough luck you’ll be able to put your hand up and run the Ciddies. Regardless, now that you’ve got yourself a position, it’s time to strike.

Step Three: Timing and Subtlety
For those of you choosing the staff route, timing is your weapon. What’s the strategy? Well, listen up. When the revelations are going down, your moment begins. There is no sure way to influence the Ciddies up to this point, so your goal is to know what needs to happen and do it quickly. Decide your own results before hand and as soon as each award is posted, edit that post. Get in there quick and quiet and don’t let anybody see you. The ruckus that is the Ciddies should allow you to slip in before anybody notices but, if you get caught, lie low for a few awards until the heat dies off.

For Ciddies hosts, subtlety is key. You’re not realistically going to be nominated for every single award. It just doesn’t happen that way. Pick the awards you want, you really want, and check the votes. As an aside, you should remember to add yourself to the list of nominees if you aren’t already there. Nothing screams amateur more than winning an award you weren’t nominated for. Once you’re in the running, check to see that it’s not a whitewash in the votes, and then alter them to give yourself the lead. Simple and easy, friends!

Step Four: Enjoy Responsibly
Don’t brag too much, but don’t be too modest either. It’ll be suspicious if you aren’t excited about winning awards, but draw too much attention to yourself and the big guys upstairs will be suspicious. Also remember to destroy all evidence of your transgressions and start poking fun at the scapegoat member (previously such members as Iceglow, demondude, Hypoallergenic Cactuar and NorthernChaosGod) in order to draw most of the heat off yourself.

Have fun and happy Ciddies everyone!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:01 PM
THIS IS THE ONLY AWARD I WANT TO WIN

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:01 PM
Oh, and tune in next ciddies for my speech on how I actually did rig the ciddies :aimsun:

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:01 PM
46. MLT Rig the Ciddies
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
Agent Proto............................1
I'm my own MILF........................1
Jiro...................................1
Pike...................................2
Hypoallergenic Cactuar.................5
Loony BoB..............................6



Quina..................................9
Baloki.............................11

And the Ciddie goes to…


Baloki!
Baloki beat out both BoB and Quina? That's a pretty impressive victory right there. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:02 PM
http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000281937/polls_hooray_1959_865613_answer_1_xlarge.gif

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:02 PM
How did I get 5 votes?

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:02 PM
Good work Del Murder! You thieving son of a bitch!

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 08:02 PM
I hope Jiro nominated and voted himself for this one. That would mean that he is the only person.

Del Murder
06-22-2012, 08:03 PM
Hahaha, it's funny because it's true.

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 08:03 PM
How did I get 1 vote?

:shifty:
NO I DIDN'T VOTE FOR MYSELF OKAY!?

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 08:03 PM
Hurray for Baloki!

Baloki
06-22-2012, 08:04 PM
Hurray for Baloki!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:04 PM
DEL MURDER: MLT TO http://scm-l3.technorati.com/10/09/02/17535/oilrig3.jpg THE CIDDIES

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:04 PM
Hurray for Baloki!
Shaddup Phy

Bubba
06-22-2012, 08:05 PM
_8IkRrJkTuI

WERE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH?

this is the greatest thing ever

I'm sufficiently embarrassed by the fact that the Jezzer Kyle show is filmed in my home town...

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 08:06 PM
Del was the only other acceptable winner, besides Quina. But Quina will still probably eat him.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:06 PM
45. MLT Live in a Survivalist Compound Surrounded by Guns and Tinfoil Hats
Nomination leader(s): Phoenix Rising

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Laddy
Phoenix Rising
Pike
theundeadhero
Loony BoB

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:06 PM
what happens when you cross a goat with a sheep?

http://speculativefictionweblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/goat_robert_andrews.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f98opUNuVXc/Stgs_-PgmII/AAAAAAAAKuc/Q8jMl4txrUM/s400/goat-sheep.jpg

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:07 PM
Go PIKE!

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 08:07 PM
what happens when you cross a goat with a sheep?

http://speculativefictionweblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/goat_robert_andrews.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f98opUNuVXc/Stgs_-PgmII/AAAAAAAAKuc/Q8jMl4txrUM/s400/goat-sheep.jpg

I was going to say that you have a dead goat and a dead sheep in the road

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:07 PM
Del was the only other acceptable winner, besides Quina. But Quina will still probably eat him.

I gave you fuckers a How To guide and you're still not happy. FINE, HAVE THE BLASTED THING :(

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:09 PM
what are you on about Jiro

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:10 PM
Who's prepared for the upcoming zombie apocalypse and/or alien invasion? These guys are, and to prove it, I've provided pictures of them hiding in their compound room surrounded by guns and wearing a tinfoild hat. (Note, some are accompanied so they won't be alone. Sorry Pike. You're on your own.)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/laddy-45.jpg
Laddy shown here with his happy Corgi friend. He's certainly pumped and ready to survive.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/phoenixrising-45.jpg
There's no actual proof that this is an actual picture of Phoenix Rising, but one could imagine that his room is neatly full of guns like this guy. Hopefully, he's just as prepared as this guy, but who really knows.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/pike-45.jpg
Watch out aliens/zombies, Pike is gonna get you if you decide to bombard her place.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/undeadhero-45.jpg
Here, theundeadhero is gonna wear his lobster outfit equipped with tinfoil hat hiding in his room where he stashes his rifles for protection.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/loonybob-45.jpg
And finally, we have Loony BoB, joined by the lovely smittenkitten. They both look goofy in their tinfoil hats, but his room is not only full of guns, but he also have his computer so he can stay updated at EoFF during the apocalypse or play games with smittenkitten while they hide from the zombies/aliens. Better prepared than sorry, huh?

Laddy
06-22-2012, 08:11 PM
xDDD

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:11 PM
ahahahaha proot you did write one banging speech man

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 08:12 PM
i lol'd at "let's pretend that I'm Phoenix Rising"

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 08:12 PM
That is a good speech Mr. Proto sir!

Bubba
06-22-2012, 08:12 PM
Ha ha ha!

Those pictures were awesome!

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:12 PM
THAT PICTURE OF ME IS CONFIRMED FOR MY NEW FACEBOOK PIC

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:14 PM
45. MLT Live in a Survivalist Compound Surrounded by Guns and Tinfoil Hats
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
Loony BoB..............................3
Pike...................................4
Laddy..................................7



Phoenix Rising.........................9
theundeadhero..........................11

And the Ciddie goes to…


theundeadhero!
Saving us from zombie attacks since 2001. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:15 PM
no matter what happens

http://www.sparkletags.com/import/graphics/Animals/hoot-hooray.gif

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:15 PM
well done tuh! don't let the bastard steal the ciddies from you. shoot im in the face!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:17 PM
What/who is RSL?

this makes me sad :(

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:17 PM
http://www.keeptalkinggreece.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/tin-foil-hat.jpg

Bubba
06-22-2012, 08:18 PM
What/who is RSL?

Radioactive Slut Llama

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:18 PM
everybody has had at least one prediction right so far so none of you are complete failures at life yet!

Sephex
06-22-2012, 08:18 PM
Well done with the speech, Proto!

Welp, work is over for me, so I have to run a couple of minor errands on the way home! Be back in roughly an hour! Congrats to all the winners so far!

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:18 PM
What/who is RSL?

RSL, a man, also a legend... He posted in my usernotes once *fangirl squeal* xD

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 08:20 PM
What/who is RSL?

Red Sexy Lingerie (http://home.eyesonff.com/members/216.html).

For the one award he was legitimately nominated for, just wait for Most Missed. :p

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 08:20 PM
RSL (http://home.eyesonff.com/members/216.html) is a smurfing lumberjack, so he doesn't need no weak guns to protect himself!

Psychotic
06-22-2012, 08:20 PM
I like how the votes say "9 11". CONSPIRACY??????????

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:20 PM
What/who is RSL?

RSL, a man, also a legend... He posted in my usernotes once *fangirl squeal* xD

This is how you know you've made it big on EoFF.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:21 PM
44. MLT Become a Space Miner
Nomination leader(s): I'm my own MILF

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Uncle Big Hands
I'm my own MILF
Pike
Freya
The Space Pope

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:22 PM
Go PIKE

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:22 PM
I will forever be insignificant against the likes of RSL. If only I could've touched him just once

Del Murder
06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
I don't even know what this award is referencing.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
OMFG SPACE

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
I will forever be insignificant against the likes of RSL. If only I could've touched him just once
eeeew

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
https://lh4.ggpht.com/IHCALf2iTleMc3RyKWcKkqQ6UhS4oJWNVYlApyEseLAUjqQypKVpjR19Pb6IOWcuuaE=w705

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
This is the only one I really want to win. Go me!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:24 PM
I don't even know what this award is referencing.

Check EoEO

Thread by Freya

about big companies going to space to mine asteroids

only the coolest shit this side of mecha robots

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:24 PM
This is the only one I really want to win. Go me!


NO! I'm going to go live in space with zack fair, kittens, and the entire female japanese population.

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:25 PM
What/who is RSL?

RSL, a man, also a legend... He posted in my usernotes once *fangirl squeal* xD

This is how you know you've made it big on EoFF.

http://smiliesftw.com/x/big_grin.gif

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:25 PM
Del, I made a thread freaking out in Eoeo about space mining being announced, that's where It's from

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:25 PM
CMON FREYA GURL

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:25 PM
Message: "Rialsis-17" - Deep Space Mining Co-operation (Quadrant Four)
Re: Employment Vacancy 741689 - Class B Space Mining Agent
- Potential Recruits

Greetings Captain

As requested, here is the mini-bio of the five candidates applying for the role...

Candidate 1: Uncle Big Hands
Mining Experience: Ex-girlfriends have reported that this candidate is extremely adept at digging holes for himself.
Strengths: Has big hands. A clear advantage over people with small or medium-sized hands.
Weaknesses: Has small feet. This causes issues with balance. Although he can buy children's shoes which are cheaper.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Is able to perform the American National anthem using only a piece of cardboard and his anus.

Candidate 2: I'm my own MILF
Mining Experience: Has watched famous 'mining' film Armageddon more than ten times.
Strengths: DIY. Once constructed a sex swing in under an hour.
Weaknesses: Compassion. Spent an afternoon on a mental health helpline and six people committed suicide.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Was narrowly defeated at chess to a highly sophisticated piece of machinery. The hoover won in 57 moves.

Candidate 3: Pike
Mining Experience: Has occasionally used the subway.
Strengths: Dedication. Has spent approximately two-thirds of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Weaknesses: Has precisely zero skills for this role having spent most of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Successfully stalking Sid Meier for two years undetected.

Candidate 4: Freya
Mining Experience: Saw a mole once.
Strengths: Is able to talk to animals. Unfortunately, just in English...and they don't understand a word.
Weaknesses: Singing. Once sung the majority of ABBA's greatest hits in a karaoke bar.
Greatest Personal Achievement: She can eat an entire sugar doughnut without licking her lips.

Candidate 5: The Space Pope
Mining Experience: Pope's are natural miners as they are already quite "holey"... (sorry, I'm struggling now...)
Strengths: Endurance. Is able to watch the film 'Pearl Harbour' in its entirety without falling asleep, crying or vomiting.
Weaknesses: Struggles to keep his clothes clean due to his insistence on wearing white robes.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Has inappropriately touched over twenty choirboys.

As you can see Captain, most of these candidates are vastly over-qualified for the role. If required, the board will once again approve the use of trained simians.

Kind regards

Marmaduke Bagglehole, DSM HR Operative

Baloki
06-22-2012, 08:26 PM
BTW, we're also holding a "Discuss the Ciddies LIVE" over in the chatroom (http://home.eyesonff.com/chat.html)!

Join as Award_Whateveryournickis and you'll be rewarded with a one time only gift!

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 08:27 PM
Who's prepared for the upcoming zombie apocalypse and/or alien invasion? These guys are, and to prove it, I've provided pictures of them hiding in their compound room surrounded by guns and wearing a tinfoild hat. (Note, some are accompanied so they won't be alone. Sorry Pike. You're on your own.)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/laddy-45.jpg
Laddy shown here with his happy Corgi friend. He's certainly pumped and ready to survive.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/phoenixrising-45.jpg
There's no actual proof that this is an actual picture of Phoenix Rising, but one could imagine that his room is neatly full of guns like this guy. Hopefully, he's just as prepared as this guy, but who really knows.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/pike-45.jpg
Watch out aliens/zombies, Pike is gonna get you if you decide to bombard her place.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/undeadhero-45.jpg
Here, theundeadhero is gonna wear his lobster outfit equipped with tinfoil hat hiding in his room where he stashes his rifles for protection.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/loonybob-45.jpg
And finally, we have Loony BoB, joined by the lovely smittenkitten. They both look goofy in their tinfoil hats, but his room is not only full of guns, but he also have his computer so he can stay updated at EoFF during the apocalypse or play games with smittenkitten while they hide from the zombies/aliens. Better prepared than sorry, huh?

I am quoting this so if anyone wants to rep me for this speech. Go at it.

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:27 PM
So that was the best speech so far!

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:27 PM
This is soo much harder to keep up with via phone. BTW i loved this speech

Madame Adequate
06-22-2012, 08:28 PM
Message: "Rialsis-17" - Deep Space Mining Co-operation (Quadrant Four)
Re: Employment Vacancy 741689 - Class B Space Mining Agent
- Potential Recruits

Greetings Captain

As requested, here is the mini-bio of the five candidates applying for the role...

Candidate 1: Uncle Big Hands
Mining Experience: Ex-girlfriends have reported that this candidate is extremely adept at digging holes for himself.
Strengths: Has big hands. A clear advantage over people with small or medium-sized hands.
Weaknesses: Has small feet. This causes issues with balance. Although he can buy children's shoes which are cheaper.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Is able to perform the American National anthem using only a piece of cardboard and his anus.

Candidate 2: I'm my own MILF
Mining Experience: Has watched famous 'mining' film Armageddon more than ten times.
Strengths: DIY. Once constructed a sex swing in under an hour.
Weaknesses: Compassion. Spent an afternoon on a mental health helpline and six people committed suicide.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Was narrowly defeated at chess to a highly sophisticated piece of machinery. The hoover won in 57 moves.

Candidate 3: Pike
Mining Experience: Has occasionally used the subway.
Strengths: Dedication. Has spent approximately two-thirds of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Weaknesses: Has precisely zero skills for this role having spent most of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Successfully stalking Sid Meier for two years undetected.

Candidate 4: Freya
Mining Experience: Saw a mole once.
Strengths: Is able to talk to animals. Unfortunately, just in English...and they don't understand a word.
Weaknesses: Singing. Once sung the majority of ABBA's greatest hits in a karaoke bar.
Greatest Personal Achievement: She can eat an entire sugar doughnut without licking her lips.

Candidate 5: The Space Pope
Mining Experience: Pope's are natural miners as they are already quite "holey"... (sorry, I'm struggling now...)
Strengths: Endurance. Is able to watch the film 'Pearl Harbour' in its entirety without falling asleep, crying or vomiting.
Weaknesses: Struggles to keep his clothes clean due to his insistence on wearing white robes.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Has inappropriately touched over twenty choirboys.

As you can see Captain, most of these candidates are vastly over-qualified for the role. If required, the board will once again approve the use of trained simians.

Kind regards

Marmaduke Bagglehole, DSM HR Operative

This is the best speech.

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:28 PM
Message: "Rialsis-17" - Deep Space Mining Co-operation (Quadrant Four)
Re: Employment Vacancy 741689 - Class B Space Mining Agent
- Potential Recruits

Greetings Captain

As requested, here is the mini-bio of the five candidates applying for the role...

Candidate 1: Uncle Big Hands
Mining Experience: Ex-girlfriends have reported that this candidate is extremely adept at digging holes for himself.
Strengths: Has big hands. A clear advantage over people with small or medium-sized hands.
Weaknesses: Has small feet. This causes issues with balance. Although he can buy children's shoes which are cheaper.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Is able to perform the American National anthem using only a piece of cardboard and his anus.

Candidate 2: I'm my own MILF
Mining Experience: Has watched famous 'mining' film Armageddon more than ten times.
Strengths: DIY. Once constructed a sex swing in under an hour.
Weaknesses: Compassion. Spent an afternoon on a mental health helpline and six people committed suicide.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Was narrowly defeated at chess to a highly sophisticated piece of machinery. The hoover won in 57 moves.

Candidate 3: Pike
Mining Experience: Has occasionally used the subway.
Strengths: Dedication. Has spent approximately two-thirds of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Weaknesses: Has precisely zero skills for this role having spent most of her life playing Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Successfully stalking Sid Meier for two years undetected.

Candidate 4: Freya
Mining Experience: Saw a mole once.
Strengths: Is able to talk to animals. Unfortunately, just in English...and they don't understand a word.
Weaknesses: Singing. Once sung the majority of ABBA's greatest hits in a karaoke bar.
Greatest Personal Achievement: She can eat an entire sugar doughnut without licking her lips.

Candidate 5: The Space Pope
Mining Experience: Pope's are natural miners as they are already quite "holey"... (sorry, I'm struggling now...)
Strengths: Endurance. Is able to watch the film 'Pearl Harbour' in its entirety without falling asleep, crying or vomiting.
Weaknesses: Struggles to keep his clothes clean due to his insistence on wearing white robes.
Greatest Personal Achievement: Has inappropriately touched over twenty choirboys.

As you can see Captain, most of these candidates are vastly over-qualified for the role. If required, the board will once again approve the use of trained simians.

Kind regards

Marmaduke Bagglehole, DSM HR Operative
great, absolutely terrific.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:28 PM
What the hell, Bubbaforever. WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS. I quit making speeches forever!

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:30 PM
Also, THEY UNDERSTAND ME.

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 08:31 PM
An early candidate for best speech. That was great, Bubba.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:31 PM
44. MLT Become a Space Miner
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png





RSL....................................1
Freya..................................3
I'm my own MILF........................4
Pike...................................6



Uncle Big Hands........................9
The Space Pope.........................14

And the Ciddie goes to…


The Space Pope!
You know what sounds cool? A Space Popemobile. Yeah. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 08:31 PM
Some good speeches so far!

Del Murder
06-22-2012, 08:32 PM
So Jordan Henderson is bubba? That was pretty hilarious man. Kid has talent!

Bubba
06-22-2012, 08:32 PM
:cool:

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:33 PM
http://asteroidapophis.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/asteroids.jpg

Who even cares about space pope any more :(

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:33 PM
Oops I voted space pope. With that name he's bound to be up there.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:34 PM
43. MLT Pull a Jiro AND/OR BALOKI and Completely Lose it On the Forums
Nomination leader(s): Baloki and Loony BoB (tied)

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Baloki
Shlup
Raistlin
Loony BoB
fire_of_avalon

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:34 PM
Oops I voted space pope. With that name he's bound to be up there.

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:34 PM
Oh that was a popularity vote there. Pike is a robot guys not a space pirate.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:35 PM
del murder has hit 5 predictions correct, not fucking half bad if you ask me

http://madelineclairefranklin.com/lokitytokityrokity/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/success_baby.jpg

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:36 PM
how many do I have?

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:36 PM
You guys are lame, I inspired that award I should have gotten more votes. Grumble grumble. (even though I didn't even vote for myself lolololol)

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:37 PM
Dear Baloki

I am sorry that they named this award after me. If I had known the ramifications it might have inflicted upon you, I would not have committed those actions so many moons ago. It is my sincerest wish that you win this award and forgive me so that, in the future, our partnership can blossom and perhaps we can both pull a Baloki and take the forum down together.

Fondest love

Jiro

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:38 PM
I was destined to write this speech. It is my namesake; I, its inspiration. However, thanks to a certain someone, I am a paranoid nutjob who spends hours each day eating eucalyptus leaves and hoping them white fellas and their bangsticks don’t come around hunting no more. I will tell you something though. None of this was my fault. No, it was orchestrated by someone much higher than me. Higher than any of us. You know him, yes, but you do not truly know him, not as I do. I stared into the abyss and Psychotic stared back at me.
Psychotic’s Guide to Making Them Crack



Ah yes my campaign against the young lad Jiro! How I recall it well.

The boy did all you would expect, editing posts of mine, changing my sig, banning people. But it was all too much, too soon. If you blow your load too early, you won't have any stamina left for round 2. In order to break a man, I set out to wage a controlled, prolonged and deliberate war against him, gradually ramping up the pressure until he snapped.

I exposed the lad to the things he fears and hates the most. I searched his posts for the word "Hate" and away we went! The descent into madness!

Day 1: I turn him into the thing he hates. I renamed him to "HEY LISTEN! CLOSE!" this didn't seem to put him off too much, but I think it confused him slightly. As the day wore on and that was all I did to him, drool began to appear at his mouth. He was confused.


Day 2: I turn him into the thing EoFF hates. I employed a group of local street urchins to abuse and mock Jiro, in exchange for shiny coloured title trinkets. As a man who prides himself on his popularity, no doubt Jiro was hurt and taken aback as the EoFF community seemingly sided with me, valuing wealth over love. I also mentioned a Grand Slam planned for the next day, An End To All Things, as it were. As the day wore on, and more and more insults poured in, Jiro slowly slipped into insanity, and with the threat of Armageddon lying heavy on him, he broke, and collapsed into a corner, gibbering.

Day 3: I turn EoFF into the thing he hates. I never even got to unleash this upon him. Perhaps it is for the best.

Yolk in my omelet!? EWWW! - Page 2 (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/127240-yolk-my-omelet-ewww-2.html#post2728281)
The other other other knots! (http://forums.eyesonff.com/general-chat/130166-other-other-other-knots.html#post2802683)

I was going to design a forums skin that was covered with photos of anchovies, and played the sound of ripping velcro over and over again. I'd have then locked it to Jiro and set it so that he could not change it. Who knows what madness would have arisen had I enacted the final step in my plans? I pray that we must never find out. I have a feeling it'd be like Albert Einstein and the Manhattan Project - What Hath I Wrought?

IS THIS SUFFICE? ANSWER!


Nominees, listen close:

If you want to pull a Jiro, you need a Psychotic to pull the trigger.

http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj126/SELECT_/Cosplay%20and%20Conventions/Sakura-Con%202009/Picture200.jpg

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:38 PM
Come on you fucking snow cat get up

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:38 PM
GET UP I SAID

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:39 PM
DO IT FOR HONOUR

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:39 PM
DO IT FOR JUSTICE

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:39 PM
DO IT FOR THE GODDAMN LETTER U

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:39 PM
AND MY AXE

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:40 PM
don't let me down baloki, I HAVE BEEN ROOTING FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:40 PM
DO IT FOR THE GODDAMN LETTER U

DO IT FOR DAKODA!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:40 PM
AND MY AXE

horribly out of place but GOOD TO KNOW YOU'RE ONBOARD

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:42 PM
43. MLT Pull a Jiro Baloki and Completely Lose it on the Forums
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................1
fire_of_avalon.........................4
Raistlin...............................5
Baloki.................................8



Loony BoB..............................9
Shlup.................................10

And the Ciddie goes to…


Shlup!
I don't know about you guys but I find the idea of Shlup losing it on the forums absolutely terrifying. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:43 PM
Jiro, you just got me hot and bothered since you used "its" instead of "it's" which no one on this forum ever does.

that's because I used it INCORRECTLY FUCK MY LIFE IS RUINED I'LL NEVER BE AN EDITOR

Baloki
06-22-2012, 08:44 PM
Shlup could never pull me!

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 08:44 PM
Shlup has lost it on the forums before. She was once EoEO banned over an argument with her BFF, The Redneck. I was hoping Phoenix Rising could elicit the same response, but alas he appears to have gone.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:45 PM
no, no non non ono n ono n on on ono WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/exploding_head_3.jpg

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 08:45 PM
Jiro, you just got me hot and bothered since you used "its" instead of "it's" which no one on this forum ever does.

that's because I used it INCORRECTLY FUCK MY LIFE IS RUINED I'LL NEVER BE AN EDITOR

Wtf are you talking about? In your portion of the speech, you definitely used "its" correctly.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:45 PM
42. MLT Be the Sidekick that People Either Love or Hate in the Next Big Final Fantasy Game
Nomination leader(s): Hypoallergenic Cactuar

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
DK
Old Manus
Rantz Rantz Revolution
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Iceglow
Jiro

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:46 PM
Jiro, you just got me hot and bothered since you used "its" instead of "it's" which no one on this forum ever does.

that's because I used it INCORRECTLY smurf MY LIFE IS RUINED I'LL NEVER BE AN EDITOR

You used it correctly. That's why I want you.

its = possession
it's = it is

I FAILED, I MEAN TO SAY IT IS INSPIRATION

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:46 PM
GO ME!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:46 PM
WAIT NO I DIDN"T DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS HAHAHA

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:47 PM
http://www.troundup.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/hooray.jpg

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:47 PM
Jiro your posts in this thread are amazing man

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:48 PM
BOYCOTTING Baloki didn't win and I didn't win. This ciddies is a farce! OCCUPY THE CIDDIES!

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:48 PM
WAIT NO I DIDN"T DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS HAHAHA

http://home.eyesonff.com/general-chat/138480-new-quotes-out-context-thread-3.html

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:48 PM
Sidekicks are a vital part of any tale, and the Final Fantasy series is no different. Sidekicks can come in many shapes and sizes, some lovable, some annoying, some who are useless in all but supporting the main character. Regardless of the flavour, sidekicks are a long enduring trope and now here we are, faced with the big question: who is most likely to be the sidekick – love ‘em or hate ‘em – in the next big Final Fantasy game? Our nominees are in, but it’s time to take a look at which sidekick they would be! Seeing as Versus XIII may never reach our shores, and in many people’s opinions XIII and XIV have already been cockups, let us look back and imagine what sidekicks they have been most like in the past, as a way to predict the future.

Let’s get down to business.


<img src="http://db.tt/QGCPJxdm" align="right" alt="DK - Rocking those short shorts and handlebar moustache since time immemorial." />
DK is Mukki. A little bit out there and not always appreciated by the hero, DK is out for bub's best interests. Quick to offer some fun, stress relieving exercises and a nice back rub, DK will make sure the hero is ready for anything - if only he would say yes! A man of supreme physical conditioning himself, DK is the sidekick who could easily be a hero, if only for a lack of ambition. He is content being the extra comfy bike pants on Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong's firm buttocks.



<img src="http://db.tt/DThvaaMY" align="right" alt="Hypoallergenic Cactuar - Wait, who were you again?" />
Hypoallergenic Cactuar is Nida. Underappreciated and a little bit different, Hypoallergenic Cactuar has a job and he does it well. Always struggling with receiving validation, Hypoallergenic Cactuar strives to be the very best like no one ever was. He knows he won't ever become the Battlemaster at Garden, but he's a top tier cadet and somebody out there will recognise his talents and promote him to SeeD. Keep on keeping on, Mr Cactuar, and don't ever put yourself down!



<img src="http://db.tt/mvAJfLSQ" align="right" alt="Jiro - All he wants to do in life is ride his little chocobo." />
Jiro is Joe. You remember the chocobo jockey from the Gold Saucer, right? He's a nice guy with some serious style, but overall he's not that concerned with what is going on. He'll look out for the party when he comes across them, but he's not going to take up arms to try and save the world. Too busy making killer one liners and looking good in his hat. When all is said and done, Jiro will ride off into the sunset on his very own Teioh with a knowing smile that makes you think he might have been more involved than you think.



<img src="http://db.tt/SDYQhxJS" align="right" alt="Old Manus - The EveryMan sidekick. Unleash your inner sidekick today!" />
Old Manus is Biggs. Not any particular Biggs, but Biggs in general. Old Manus is the typical sidekick, the one who helps out, provides comic relief, isn't afraid to dirty his hands. He could pull a Samwise and become even more lovable than the hero, but only if he feels like it. Old Manus will be the sidekick the heroes need him to be, and if that means laying his life on the line, then so be it. He'll fight to the end for AVALANCHE, and he'll fight to the end for you, Eyes on Final Fantasy.



<img src="http://db.tt/VTkM6PSw" align="right" alt="Rantz Rantz Revolution - Giddyup Mr. Dolphin, yeehaww!" />
Rantz Rantz Revolution is Mr. Dolphin. He's the lovable non-humanoid pal who will go so far even as to decided to want do more look like let you ride upon his back like a noble stallion of the sea. Rantz Rantz Revolution is far more intelligent than you think, probably more intelligent than you can comprehend, but he doesn't have an ego and he's not going to save the world for you. Rantz Rantz Revolution just provides that necessary oomph to help you reach new heights!



<img src="http://db.tt/jUVZM4nN" align="right" alt="Iceglow - That's what your mum said last night yeah yeah!" />
Iceglow is Cinna. He's the bumbling, cocky, good-for-nothing tea coffee drinking bastard who is absolutely smurfing useless when it comes time to fight. Only tolerated because... well, who knows why, Iceglow manages to prove himself "useful" in a handful of occasions, all of which are completely removed from the area of combat because christ alive he's useless. But he can be funny too which is why we keep him around. Good on ya Steve, ya bloody idiot. :jess:


So there we have it folks. Which of these fine folks will be the number one pick for sidekick next time you go on a world saving adventure?

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:49 PM
OCCUPY THE CIDDIES WASN'T SUPPOSED TO START TILL THEY GOT TO #34

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:49 PM
Jiro your posts in this thread are amazing man

I am the fuckign ciddies party rolling in WOOT WOOT party bus is here! cbf finding a pic of the 501st Legion's party bus so here's a hummerzine1
http://pinnacleengineering.co.uk/images/hummerzine_2.jpg

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 08:50 PM
Jiro your posts in this thread are amazing man

I am the fuckign ciddies party rolling in WOOT WOOT party bus is here! cbf finding a pic of the 501st Legion's party bus so here's a hummerzine1
http://pinnacleengineering.co.uk/images/hummerzine_2.jpg

take your clothes off

Del Murder
06-22-2012, 08:50 PM
That was an odd win for Amanda. I don't understand how she could beat that crazy smurfer Baloki.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:50 PM
I am really happy with how the next couple speeches turned out :shobon:

Pike
06-22-2012, 08:50 PM
What a swanky speech!

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:51 PM
I DON'T CARE I DIDN"T WIN MY AWARD AND BALOKI DIDN'T WIN HIS. IT'S ALL FOR THE 1% OCCUPY THE CIDDIES!

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 08:51 PM
Sidekicks are a vital part of any tale, and the Final Fantasy series is no different. Sidekicks can come in many shapes and sizes, some lovable, some annoying, some who are useless in all but supporting the main character. Regardless of the flavour, sidekicks are a long enduring trope and now here we are, faced with the big question: who is most likely to be the sidekick – love ‘em or hate ‘em – in the next big Final Fantasy game? Our nominees are in, but it’s time to take a look at which sidekick they would be! Seeing as Versus XIII may never reach our shores, and in many people’s opinions XIII and XIV have already been cockups, let us look back and imagine what sidekicks they have been most like in the past, as a way to predict the future.

Let’s get down to business.


<img src="http://db.tt/QGCPJxdm" align="right" alt="DK - Rocking those short shorts and handlebar moustache since time immemorial." />
DK is Mukki. A little bit out there and not always appreciated by the hero, DK is out for bub's best interests. Quick to offer some fun, stress relieving exercises and a nice back rub, DK will make sure the hero is ready for anything - if only he would say yes! A man of supreme physical conditioning himself, DK is the sidekick who could easily be a hero, if only for a lack of ambition. He is content being the extra comfy bike pants on Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong's firm buttocks.



<img src="http://db.tt/DThvaaMY" align="right" alt="Hypoallergenic Cactuar - Wait, who were you again?" />
Hypoallergenic Cactuar is Nida. Underappreciated and a little bit different, Hypoallergenic Cactuar has a job and he does it well. Always struggling with receiving validation, Hypoallergenic Cactuar strives to be the very best like no one ever was. He knows he won't ever become the Battlemaster at Garden, but he's a top tier cadet and somebody out there will recognise his talents and promote him to SeeD. Keep on keeping on, Mr Cactuar, and don't ever put yourself down!



<img src="http://db.tt/mvAJfLSQ" align="right" alt="Jiro - All he wants to do in life is ride his little chocobo." />
Jiro is Joe. You remember the chocobo jockey from the Gold Saucer, right? He's a nice guy with some serious style, but overall he's not that concerned with what is going on. He'll look out for the party when he comes across them, but he's not going to take up arms to try and save the world. Too busy making killer one liners and looking good in his hat. When all is said and done, Jiro will ride off into the sunset on his very own Teioh with a knowing smile that makes you think he might have been more involved than you think.



<img src="http://db.tt/SDYQhxJS" align="right" alt="Old Manus - The EveryMan sidekick. Unleash your inner sidekick today!" />
Old Manus is Biggs. Not any particular Biggs, but Biggs in general. Old Manus is the typical sidekick, the one who helps out, provides comic relief, isn't afraid to dirty his hands. He could pull a Samwise and become even more lovable than the hero, but only if he feels like it. Old Manus will be the sidekick the heroes need him to be, and if that means laying his life on the line, then so be it. He'll fight to the end for AVALANCHE, and he'll fight to the end for you, Eyes on Final Fantasy.



<img src="http://db.tt/VTkM6PSw" align="right" alt="Rantz Rantz Revolution - Giddyup Mr. Dolphin, yeehaww!" />
Rantz Rantz Revolution is Mr. Dolphin. He's the lovable non-humanoid pal who will go so far even as to decided to want do more look like let you ride upon his back like a noble stallion of the sea. Rantz Rantz Revolution is far more intelligent than you think, probably more intelligent than you can comprehend, but he doesn't have an ego and he's not going to save the world for you. Rantz Rantz Revolution just provides that necessary oomph to help you reach new heights!



<img src="http://db.tt/jUVZM4nN" align="right" alt="Iceglow - That's what your mum said last night yeah yeah!" />
Iceglow is Cinna. He's the bumbling, cocky, good-for-nothing tea coffee drinking bastard who is absolutely smurfing useless when it comes time to fight. Only tolerated because... well, who knows why, Iceglow manages to prove himself "useful" in a handful of occasions, all of which are completely removed from the area of combat because christ alive he's useless. But he can be funny too which is why we keep him around. Good on ya Steve, ya bloody idiot. :jess:


So there we have it folks. Which of these fine folks will be the number one pick for sidekick next time you go on a world saving adventure?

Epic Speech!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:53 PM
That was an odd win for Amanda. I don't understand how she could beat that crazy smurfer Baloki.

My thoughts:

http://wallpaperofmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/18/beatles-yellow-submarine-02.jpg

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:54 PM
42. MLT Be the Sidekick that People Either Love or Hate in the Next Big Final Fantasy Game
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png





Rantz Rantz Revolution.................1
RSL....................................2
DK.....................................4
Jiro...................................4
Old Manus..............................7



Iceglow................................9
Hypoallergenic Cactuar.................10

And the Ciddie goes to…


Hypoallergenic Cactuar!
The best part is that in this game he's exactly what his name says. A cactuar that no one is allergic to. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:54 PM
One for me Proots, one for me.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:55 PM
YOU GO HYPO. I hope I win Hero so we can TEAM UP MAN. WE WILL FUCKING WIN THE WORLD

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:55 PM
BROFIST

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:56 PM
LET'S PRACTICE OUR POSES

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/011/a/1/Black_Ranger_Cosplay_Hero_Pose_by_Red_Space_Ranger.jpg

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:56 PM
I forgot who I voted for in that one to be honest. GO HYPO! Good job!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:56 PM
http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/24/c8ba2eb14d7f4d6da5bc317667c73404/l.jpg

REACH FOR THE TOP NEVER LET DESTINY DIE

Freya
06-22-2012, 08:57 PM
Of course you'd notice that, Boobs.

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:57 PM
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQxc_v8PuYAl0zY2FZtiHpEotX9kWJS9lGi3Usi8KR7jZuzuq9hxw

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:57 PM
WE CAN STUDY THE WAY

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Kni2mt519GQ/TIcm5RvYj_I/AAAAAAAAABM/rst8UC4rbmw/S820-R/hero+rough+8.png

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HYBmAx1i5CA/TKIrwl_1MBI/AAAAAAAAAhg/5hqs-ErxhNk/s1600/dead+sea+-+palestine.png

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 08:57 PM
41. MLT Be the Beautiful Villain in the Next Big Final Fantasy Game
Nomination leader(s): Raistlin

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Flambard D'Quinceteth
Raistlin
Wolf Kanno
NorthernChaosGod
Iceglow
Tifa's Boobs

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 08:57 PM
Hypo has one! Still waiting on my one so we can tie up. xP

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 08:58 PM
http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/6766/00491462.jpg

Go Tifa's Boobs! I and Jiro shall defeat you!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 08:58 PM
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQxc_v8PuYAl0zY2FZtiHpEotX9kWJS9lGi3Usi8KR7jZuzuq9hxw


YESSSSS NOW YOU'VE GOT IT MY MAN

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/195/3/f/Introducing_The_Ginyu_Force_by_Kouzetsu.jpg

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:00 PM
SOMEONE POST SOME THING! I NEED MOAR READS!

Raistlin
06-22-2012, 09:00 PM
I was the nominations leader? It was because of the bikini picture, wasn't it?

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:00 PM
bump

Agent Proto
06-22-2012, 09:00 PM
*imagines Jiro and HC joining up.... pictures this*

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/1/11328/389138-myfirstcactuar_super.jpg

You guys look so ridiculous.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:00 PM
I want to be, the very best-ah! Like no one ever was!

SING IT WITH ME

Bubba
06-22-2012, 09:01 PM
This is the best Ciddies thread ever

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 09:01 PM
What would the world be like without villains? Pretty smurfing lame if you ask me. Final Fantasy is well known for flashy villains like Kefka and Sephiroth and the occasional oddball like Ultros. Thanks to the very nature of JRPGs, the villains are destined to fail their plans for world domination, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a hell of a time while they’re around. We’ve got quite the line-up of potential villains for the next Final Fantasy game. Whether they want to rule the world or destroy it, kidnap the girl or just slaughter her family, we’ve got a villain to suit everybody’s taste. Bring on the baddies!


<img src="http://db.tt/iJKYTGYh" align="right" alt="Quin - Just try to imagine a rocking jewfro on this guy for maximum realism." />
Quin is Gabranth. He is a magnificent bastard, as has been noted on many occasions, but his true power lies in his charming demeanour and his ability to pretend to be somebody else. Quin name changes like a mothersmurfer, and every time he does it is as if he engages a stealth cloak and just fades into the shadows for a time. He wields weapons with great skill thanks to tutoring by his two masters, Mace Windu and the seal. Sadly, Quin is never going to be good enough to be the Big Bad but he can put up a darn golly good fight.



<img src="http://db.tt/6IlM2o5g" align="right" alt="Raistlin - He doesn't need to do tit to get you in trouble." />
Raistlin is Vayne Solidor. Big words and politics are his weapons of choice. He knows the law and if it won't help him then he'll change it so he can smurf you up. An intellectual badass, the only reason "war" is involved is because Raistlin finds it easier to send his army of strawmen to kick down your door than to do it himself. He gets what he wants and if you resist then you best be prepared for his bikini pose because it will make you melt. Raistlin is a supervillain and if you don't take him seriously, you might end up with a trope-breaking villa



<img src="http://db.tt/Y57s05PP" align="right" alt="Tifa's Boobs - Dying has never looked quite so good." />
Tifa's Boobs is Lani. She only wields two weapons: sex appeal and a smurfing big blade. Both are as lethal as the other though, so be on your guard or you might be sliced and diced before you know it! Beauty has its power and Tifa's Boobs will likely use her skills to earn the good favour of our unsuspecting hero. Expect a big reveal when Tifa's Boobs who might have seemed like the hero's primary love interest turns out to be the Big Bad manipulative bitch all along! Don't get any ideas about turning her from the dark side though, this baby is bad to the bone and can smell your weakness. Watch out!



<img src="http://db.tt/dkEQloF7" align="right" alt="Wolf Kanno - You shouldn't be surprised to see him here. It will be your downfall." />
Wolf Kanno is Cidolfus Bunansa. Genius, with just the right dash of insanity to become a great villain. Wolf Kanno knows the Final Fantasy series well and isn't afraid to critique it, so he knows what to expect out of hero and villain alike. Be on the lookout for unusual tactics as he takes only the best evil traits to target and destroy all the heroes' weaknesses. He's got style though, and flair will be a common ingredient in all of his movements. Be careful if he falls quiet though - his mind is simply concocting another devious plan with which to take the world hostage!



<img src="http://db.tt/AoWyAuXZ" align="right" alt="NorthernChaosGod - Taking your jobs since you turned your back on a foreigner." />
NorthernChaosGod is Rude. Primarily a comic relief villain these days, don't put it past NCG to take you by surprise with a dangerous mix of lethality and professionalism. He knows his business well - after all, it's the only reason the US Government lets him stay in the country - and if you underestimate him, he'll pounce. He's not without a heart though, and his own moral compass might sometimes force him to help the hero out. NCG won't jump ship lightly though; he's fiercely loyal to his cause and his sense of right and wrong, no matter what anybody says. And don't smurf with his sunglasses or you will be sorry.



<img src="http://db.tt/rnT3pBOX" align="right" alt="Iceglow - Hide yo kids, hide yo wives and hide yo husbands cause he's rapin' err'body out here." />
Iceglow is Don Corneo. He's a minor inconvenience in the way of a much larger threat, but I'll be damned if he doesn't get some lucky shots in which cause you more trouble than it's worth. Makes a name for himself as a ladies man but really just has some creepy smurfing monopoly on all the brothels in the area so he has first dibs on the new merchandise. Expect him to talk the talk but walk like a cripple because he can't put his money where his mouth is. Still, whether you find yourself on the subway or the Train Graveyard, you'll be cursing Iceglow's name the entire time as he puts it in whatever female relatives you happen to have.


Which of our villainous scumbag members will be most fit for the role of Final Fantasy villain? YOU DECIDE.

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:01 PM
To catch them is my real test! To train them is my cause!

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:01 PM
I want to be, the very best-ah! Like no one ever was!

SING IT WITH ME

Ti catch them is my real test, to train them is my caaall

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:02 PM
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0807/ash-ketchum-demotivational-poster-1216765248.jpg

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:02 PM
To catch them is my real test! To train them is my cause!

and here was me thinking it was call >.<

Pokémon! Gotta catch em alll!
You know its my destiny!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:02 PM
YEAH NOW YOU GOT IT BOYS!

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND, SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE

http://www.absoluteanime.com/pokemon/ash%5B4%5D.gif

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:02 PM
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0807/ash-ketchum-demotivational-poster-1216765248.jpg

PLEASE LET ME POST MISTY PORN

Freya
06-22-2012, 09:03 PM
http://db.tt/AoWyAuXZ

I laugh every time I see that image xD

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:03 PM
EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND, THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE!

Pike
06-22-2012, 09:04 PM
JIRO IS ROCKING THESE SPEECHES

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:04 PM
NorthernChaosGod is the fucking MEXICAN

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 09:05 PM
41. MLT be the Beautiful Villain of the Next Big Final Fantasy Game
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png



RSL....................................2
Raistlin...............................3
Wolf Kanno.............................3
NorthernChaosGod.......................3
Iceglow................................5



Tifa's Boobs...........................9
Flambard D'Quinceteth..................10

And the Ciddie goes to…


Flambard D'Quinceteth!
Quin confirmed for being more beautiful than boobs. The ramifications of this have yet to be discovered. Congratulations!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/forums/chocobo_footer_small.jpg

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:05 PM
POKEMON GOTTA CATCH EM (aaaaallll) ITS YOU AND ME. I KNOW ITS MY DESTINY! (pokemon!)

Freya
06-22-2012, 09:05 PM
SO CLOSE! YOU'RE A WINNER IN MY HEART, BOOBS!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:05 PM
QUIN > TITS? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:07 PM
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:07 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/14434_199273371382_912819_n.jpg

Warning: Quin might actually have tits. Confirmation necessary.

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:07 PM
YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU
PO-

Bubba
06-22-2012, 09:08 PM
How did you find the time for these speeches, Dak? Incredible.

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 09:08 PM
40. MLT Be the Hero/Heroine of the Next Big Final Fantasy Game
Nomination leader(s): Jiro

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/Pikestaff/chocobobannersmall.png

The Nominees
Jiro
Rantz Rantz Revolution
Del Murder
fire_of_avalon
Psychotic
leader of mortals
The White Wizard of Fynn
SwordFox

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:09 PM
-KE-

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:09 PM
MON

Freya
06-22-2012, 09:09 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/14434_199273371382_912819_n.jpg

Warning: Quin might actually have tits. Confirmation necessary.

bahahaha I forgot about that picture

Sylvie
06-22-2012, 09:09 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/14434_199273371382_912819_n.jpg

Warning: Quin might actually have tits. Confirmation necessary.
Can I dress you up a little like that, Jiro

NorthernChaosGod
06-22-2012, 09:10 PM
NorthernChaosGod is the fucking MEXICAN

:aimkiss:

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:10 PM
How did you find the time for these speeches, Dak? Incredible.

It's all about quick thinking, quick typing and an insatiable taste for getting the job done. I pray you never experience a speech less Ciddie for it is abysmal! I SWORE I WOULD NOT LET THAT HAPPEN BUT I AM JUST A TERRIBLY EFFEMINATE MALE THEREFORE GIMME THIS NEXT AWARD

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:10 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/14434_199273371382_912819_n.jpg

Warning: Quin might actually have tits. Confirmation necessary.
Can I dress you up a little like that, Jiro

Except Dak would look a load more gorgeous lol. <3

Freya
06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
I really should finish my best member speech :shifty: or start it :shifty:

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
The hero is undoubtedly the single most important character in a Final Fantasy game. It is their mettle that is tested, their shoulders that the fate of the world is carried on, and their leadership that unites a ragtag band of adventurers together in order to face the greatest threat to humanity that their universe has ever seen. Heroes can be equipped with a range of skills, traits and equipment, including gravity defying hair, the personality of a brick wall, deep set daddy issues, a tail, gravity defying swords, a noble sense of justice, a love of adventure, gravity defying ego mania, good friends and destiny. Which of our valiant members has found Excalibur, learned Ultima and read the airship pilot's manual and is ready to step into their role as next FF hero? Let's meet them now.


<img src="http://db.tt/1iMgM1ki" align="right" alt="fire_of_avalon - Read Baloki's signature for more witty observations." />
fire_of_avalon is Tifa Lockhart. If you need something beaten to death, she's your man. If you need a strong woman in your life, then foa is the one you turn to. She's not afraid of a bit of a scrap, but she certainly isn't without a sensitive side. She'll be there for you, even when the rest of the kids in your village think you're a weird blond faggot whose hair is phallic. foa is the ideal leading lady who will protect those she loves and doesn't let herself get stabbed in the smurfing back. The world needs more super hot female heroes, and foa is doing us all a favour by raising her fists up high and saying "I will destroy you, Uncle Big Hands."



<img src="http://db.tt/6IgT0Rt0" align="right" alt="The White Wizard of Fynn - He's got the cure for what ails ya." />
The White Wizard of Fynn is Minwu. It's clear enough from his name itself that The White Wizard of Fynn (let's call him Fynn for short) is all about protecting the little guy. White Wizards are renowned for their nice guy attitude and dedication to healing the weak and wounded, and Fynn ain't any different. He's a powerful mage with a heart of gold but that ailment doesn't stop him from running around and saving the world in his own special way. He might not be able to equip swords or cast black magic but sometimes it is the gentle touch you need. Plus, he's a beast when it comes to dealing with the undead, so always someone handy to have on side.



<img src="http://db.tt/RCuarBAd" align="right" alt="Del Murder - Nowhere near as bad as he sounds." />
Del Murder is Al Cid Margrace. He's got a cool exterior with a sharp mind and some serious style. He knows more than he's letting on, but you can't question his good intentions. He might seem like a lady killer but that's because he's too nice a guy for people to hate. Don't cross him though, because he's not afraid to paint a target on your back. Cool, calm and sensible, he's not the hot headed kind of hero who runs into battle without considering all the plays. Often there's someone better for the job, and Del Murder isn't afraid of letting them give it a crack for him. Delegation can be the key to victory, after all.



<img src="http://db.tt/vxeSBmxx" align="right" alt="SwordFox - Mysterious and nice, not mysteriously nice." />
SwordFox is Laguna Loire. I don't know much about this SwordFox character but it seems to me like he's a shy guy with a heart of gold. He might get tongue tied around pretty girls but he'll make them swoon with his natural appeal and charm. New on the scene, he's not afraid to jump in and give it his best shot, even if it means he ends up lost and confused. Be careful when he starts to dance, because it really is his secret weapon. A great lover of fresh food, SwordFox will always keep his party members fed. He knows food and he knows a full stomach is the best weapon against the bad guys!



<img src="http://db.tt/eCWyyuBL" align="right" alt="Jiro - Tall, dark and handsome, but cheer up emo kid." />
Jiro is Squall Leonhart. He's a reluctant hero, but throws himself into the battle when others are in danger. Jiro might not be the most personable hero, but he opens up with a little help from his friends. Arguably one of the most adaptable heroes, Jiro doesn't find himself in hot water when he finds himself in foreign situations or called upon to dance when he really just wants to sit down and have a nice quiet nice with a bottle of wine and a nice doco on the telly. Scars pull all the chicks and Jiro has a swath of them to show off.



<img src="http://db.tt/7ZKLTyfK" align="right" alt="lom - YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH HIM???" />
leader of mortals is Quina Quen. The oddball hero, a certified wildcard, lom is all about doing his own thing. He accidentally brings good wherever he goes, which is fortunate because that pedobear phase was really smurfing detrimental. lom is wacky, but lovable, and is secretly out to improve himself by eating everything he can. lom can find happiness in the little things, like how that weird tentacle thing gave him magical powers. Don't worry if lom disappears for a while; he's probably just off marrying another little black mage to help him out.



<img src="http://db.tt/o1MzNVK9" align="right" alt="Psychotic - Roughing you up for fun." />
Psychotic is Seifer Almasy. He tries so hard to be the bad boy but deep down he's really just a misguided hero. Romantic as hell, but don't tell anyone or he'll punch your face in, Psychotic is a man's man so long as you can breach the thick shields he puts up around himself. Dedicated and powerful, Psychotic is also up for a laugh now and again and isn't beyond calling you a goddamn chicken wuss to make himself smile. It's all in good fun though, as Psychotic will always find himself back on the right side at the end of the day. A certified anti-hero if ever there was one.



<img src="http://db.tt/GzFZJbuq" align="right" alt="Rantz - Beware his viking nipples, they are powerful." />
Rantz Rantz Revolution is Dovakhiin, DRAGONBORN. Why? Because he's a smurfing viking, please! Rantz channels his lineage in order to make himself the most powerful Nord in all of Sweden. He breaks down the walls separating J and W RPGs and forces the villains to submit to him or face the wrath of his army of children (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0cyWTihEC8). With a voice like an angel and a face that needs covering, Rantz will use his past as a driving force to change the future!


Well up and at 'em then heroes! Show us what you're made of!

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
NorthernChaosGod is the smurfing MEXICAN

:aimkiss:

You and me forever <3

Carl the Llama
06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
I really should finish my best member speech :shifty: or start it :shifty:

Yes, Yes you should. :D

Queen Award, First of Her Name
06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
I really should finish my best member speech :shifty: or start it :shifty:

Yes. Yes you should.

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:12 PM
I dunno what happened to that pic of me as a chick but Quin is beating me at this point. HOWEVER I AM IN TRAINING TO DEFEAT RANTZ IN A DRAG CONTEST SO WHO KNOWS

Jiro
06-22-2012, 09:13 PM
I really should finish my best member speech :shifty: or start it :shifty:

/me packs his bags and goes back to his desk

Hollycat
06-22-2012, 09:13 PM
I really should finish my best member speech :shifty: or start it :shifty:

Yes, Yes you should

Freya
06-22-2012, 09:13 PM
I have an hour before work pft. Funny since I led the speeches haha